i turn 26 in two weeks

poeedamerons  asked:

I was reading a fix where Lydia tells Stiles that Derek is a nuclear engineer major and Stiles was very attracted to that and another that Derek was a video game designer and Stiles was also very into that, what I am asking is: can you guys rec me some fics Stiles is totally attracted to Derek but also his nerdy/brainiac profession/major? Since I am here do you guys know any Jurassic Park or Jurassic World sterek au?

I did the dinosaur one here. Roooooaaaar. And here’s smart!Derek and Stiles digging it. - Anastasia

Originally posted by hoechlin-alpha

Derek is Smart by Kateomega97

(1/1 I 474 I Not Rated)

Exactly what it says on the tin.

Stacking Up by bravelittlesoldier

(1/1 I 8,286 I Mature)

Stiles is working in the basement of the Library of Congress and is feeling his social skills quickly deteriorate. Then along comes a new librarian working at Circulation who is most definitely a male model. Maybe its time to start re-socializing.

Better With You by fatale

(3/? I 10,465 I Teen)

Derek is the runt of the litter - a lowly freshman twerp in a family of gorgeous Amazons. He likes to read, has a gift for languages, and a nervous apprehension of everything that high school has to offer. When smug, sarcastic sophomore Stiles Stilinski (say that three times fast) nearly runs him down on the first day of school, it is just the spark of enmity that will affect the rest of their high school years together.

Put Down in Words by paintedrecs

(9/31 I 36,301 I Mature)

“Oh,” Stiles said, his voice coming out low and breathy, “fuck me.”

“I don’t think that’s on the syllabus, but we can check to see if there’s a spot open in any of his classes,” Scott said, grinning.

“This isn’t an actual professor, though,” Stiles insisted, unable to resist brushing his thumb over the sharp line of the man’s bearded jaw. He was laughing at something off-camera, the shot taken in three-quarters view, his coat collar casually rumpled and opened to reveal a sliver of a simple grey t-shirt. The whole thing was deliberately calculated to lend him a more accessible feel, and god help him, Stiles was falling for it.

*

When Stiles signed up for Dr. Hale’s intro to history class, he had two goals: knock out the credits his advisor was bugging him to complete before he graduated, and spend a few hours a week daydreaming about his sexy professor’s salt and pepper beard.

Derek, a few months away from turning forty and not sure when his life had started feeling so damn lonely, had never encountered someone like Stiles before. Bright-eyed, sharp-tongued, determined to throw Derek’s carefully cultivated world into disarray…and absolutely the last person Derek should be falling in love with.

Who Knew by SourWolfie (pieprincess_andthe_fallenangel)

(26/26 I 88,161 I Explicit)

Stiles finally scraped together enough money to get his own apartment and he’s really fucking proud of it, okay? He just wishes shit would stop breaking. He also wishes he hadn’t just bitched out his incredibly hot landlord, but that ship has sailed right along with his dignity.

Summertime

Characters: Y/N (reader), Jensen Ackles, fleeting OCs,

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: mention of bullying, implied smut (very very light)     

Word Count: 2200ish

A/N: This is 1 out of my 13 entries for @mamapeterson / @mrs-squirrel-chester’s Album Fanfiction Challenge where I chose the album “Smoke and Mirrors” by Imagine Dragons. The song prompt for this fic is: Summer

I could share some thoughts with you I had pre writing this fic, but I’d rather let you read it and form your own opinions and maybe share my thought process later if any of you should be interested.

Betaed by my sassy sweet lil sis @mysupernaturalfics 

 ***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

You had been tossing and turning all night long. Usually this day of the year was spent crying your eyes out, knowing that you would hardly see him again until next summer, but this year you had spend it thinking about the life you had and the life you could have.

Jensen Ackles had been your friend and protector all through life. In middle school you were the girl that liked to sit and draw rather than go play sports with your classmates. In high school you prefered to sit alone in the cafeteria in listening to music, sketching in your notebook, while he was the boy that was always surrounded by a huge group of people. He was a popular kid, but not mean because of it.

Actually, you were sure he was the sole reason why you got through your school years without ever really being bullied. Having him wink at you as he passed your table, where you always sat drawing and listening to music, keeping away from the noise that was high school. He stopped and talked to you by your lockers or teamed up with you in the classes you were in together whenever the teacher demanded you to do group work. You weren’t sure if he knew what he was doing, keeping you safe by interacting with you, or if it was simply just who he was.  

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Two's Company - Stiles Stilinski - Part 2

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Lydia Martin, Reader.

Part 1

Originally posted by inderlander

You were having trouble coming to terms with your pregnancy. You slept at Stiles’ every night and you cried yourself to sleep. It was tough to say the least. At this point you thought you were 24 weeks. You hadn’t said anything, you hadn’t talked to Stiles about it any further, you hadn’t even gone to the doctor, you’d figured your own due date.

You opened Stiles’ closet and sighed. You were even starting to grow out of his clothes. “Babe..let me take you shopping for maternity clothes…please?” Stiles placed his hands on your hips and you laid your head on his chest.

“I want to tell your dad.” You mutter.

“He’s at the station. Let’s go.” Stiles said nonchalantly.

“What? I thought you’d say no.” You back away.

“Nah, he needs to know.” He holds his hand out and laces his fingers with yours. “Let’s go.”

You both walk into the station and head straight for the sheriff’s office. Stiles knocks on the door and the two of you walk in.

“Hey, you two. I was just about to call and see what you wanted for dinner.” He smiles.

You both sit down and look at him. “Dad, we need to talk to you.” Stiles looks at his hands.

“Is everything okay?” Noah looks to you.

“No? I mean yes..but no.” You say quickly.

He chuckles. “You and Stiles are quite the pair.”

Stiles sits up. “We may have gotten ourselves into a situation…which led to many other situations that put us in the situation we’re in now…” He mumbles.

Your boyfriend’s father looks at you. “Translate?”

“I’m pregnant.” You blurt out.

He chuckles. “I know. I just wondered when you’d tell me.”

Stiles squints at his father. “How?”

“Obviously you’re growing quickly, plus you both have been pretty quiet lately which isn’t normal…you kinda live with us too..not that I mind. It’s just obvious.” He shrugs. “Your mom was the same way with me. When she was pregnant we were attached at the hip.” He smiles at you.

“You’re okay with this?” You say surprised.

“No..but I know I’ve raised my son well and he’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of you. I know you two are responsible.” He nods at Stiles. “Have you been to the doctor?” He asks and you shake your head.

“I don’t want people to judge me…” You say quietly.

“Make an appointment. You’ll be glad you did.”

The three of you stand and hugs are exchanged.

“I’ll see you at home. Chinese okay?”

“More than okay.” You and Stiles say in unison. You intertwine hands and leave.

You get in the Jeep and look at Stiles. “That was easy.” Stiles laughs.

“Yeah..it was.” You smile. “I guess I should make an appointment.”

You pick up your phone and dial your gynecologist. Luckily they have a spot open in thirty minutes. You tell Stiles and you head to the doctor. You go inside and wait for them to call you back. You look around at all of the other women, most of them pregnant.

You look up at Stiles and smile. He looks way out of his league. You get called back and you get set up on a bed.

The nurse gives you an ultrasound and she gathers your information. She leaves the room and Stiles looks at you. “Why didn’t she tell us anything?”

“Nurses aren’t allowed to tell genders or anything. Doctors do that.” You smile. He nods in understanding as the doctor walks in. She introduces herself to Stiles and begins the second ultrasound. “Well..it looks like you’re having a boy.” You smile at Stiles. He’d guessed that in the waiting room. “Oh! Two boys.” She smiles at you.

“Wait..two?” You look at her wide-eyed and she nods.

You hear a loud thump and when you look over Stiles is on the floor. He fainted. You roll your eyes and look at the doctor. “Two…for sure?” She nods and you groan. One was overwhelming but two?“

“I’ll go get the pictures and I’ll let you two talk.” She leaves the room. You swing your leg over the table and kick Stiles. He groans and stands up. “Two boys.” He looks at you like he might pass out again.

“I just turned 18 and I’m going to have two sons.” He covers his eyes with his hands.

You scoff. “You’re worried about you? Stiles I’m 16 and having two sons. I’m not even a senior yet.”

He turns to face you and takes your hand. “You’re right..I’m sorry.” He kisses your forehead. “We definitely need to talk to my dad…wow. Twins.”

He sits in the chair beside you. He zones out when the doctor comes back in.

“Well, Y/N, you’re about 26 weeks. Here are your ultrasound pictures.”

She hands you pictures of your babies. You look at them and suddenly nothing else matters. A flip has switched in you. You smile softly as you look at the two babies nestled next to each other. You are no longer a teenager. You’re a parent. All it took was a doctor’s appointment.

You schedule an appointment for a check up before leaving. You get in the car with Stiles and you hand him the pictures. You see the same emotions flash through his eyes that went through your head. You see his demeanor change and you know these babies were not an accident.

“It’s so much different seeing it as a picture instead of on a screen.” He says in amazement. He places a hand on your belly. “Hey little dudes. It’s your daddy.” You watch him as he rubs your stomach and you smile.

Stiles Stilinski is the love of your life and the father of your children.

You invited everyone over to update them on the pregnancy. “So, do you have pictures of the ultrasound?” Lydia asks.

You nod. “You can’t see them yet.”

She groans. “I want to see the little Stilinskis.” She pats your bump. You laugh and follow her into the living room. You sit beside Stiles and he wraps an arm around you.

You’d been a bit sick after coming home from the doctor. It was normal, nausea and a headache.

He kisses your forehead. “How are you, baby girl?” You melt at his pet name.

“Much better.” You peck him on the lips and lay your head on his shoulder.

“So..we’re having a boy.” Stiles grins as everyone claps with excitement. “There’s more..we’re having two boys! Talk about good sperm, huh babe?” He nudges you and you move away from him.

“You’re such a boy.” You smack his arm.

“Can we see the ultrasound pictures?” Lydia asks and you hand them to her. Everyone crowds around her and looks.

Scott walks over and sits beside Stiles. You hear the two of them talk but you’re distracted by your thoughts. You think about your future, how you and Stiles will provide for your babies. You wonder how many jobs the two of you will have to work while maintaining good grades in school.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by a sudden movement. “Oh my god, babe! Babe, the babies are kicking!” You smile at him and he whips his head towards you. He immediately places both hands on your stomach. He gets up and squats in front of you. He puts his head on your stomach and whispers. “Hi, it’s your dad here.” You smile at your dork of a boyfriend. “You both are going to be so spoiled and so loved.” He rubs circles on your belly. “You’re lucky to have the mommy you do, too. Now, if you could kindly stop kicking her that’d be great.”

“Stiles don’t smart off to our babies.” You laugh.

“I’m just getting them used to it.” He grins up at you. “Our babies have to have a sense of humor, right?”

etsy.com
Dickle Rhiiiick!!!!!!!! I Turned myself into a Dickle!!
Contest Time Folks! Reblog this on tumblr to be entered into a chance to win a free Dickle Rhick! The contest ends on September 13 and the winner will be chosen at random and sent a free Dickle Rhick! Must get at least 40 reblogs for contest to be valid, lets let the team at Rick and Morty know just how much we appreciate them and their sense of humor Im sure they will appreciate this parody. R: Hey Mhooooorty!! Im Dickle RHIIICK!! I turned myself into a Dickle Mhooorty! M: Ummm Rhick, why did you turn yourself into a Dickle? R: Because *burp Mhorty, Ive been doing tests Mhorty and it turns out that youre dying Mhoorty... youre *burp dying. And the only way to save your life is for you to lick my testicles when Im a salty and sour Dickle *burp Mhorty.. M: Wait Rhick, I dont understand h-h-how can I be dying??!?! R: Mhorty, quick I dont have time to *burp explain but you have to lick my testicles Mhorty, you have to lick my testicles. It has to be warm saliva and it has to be delivered fresh Mhorty. M: Ok Rhick... Ill do it Ill lick you sour testicles. R: Oh yeah Mhooorty!! Thats it, thats the *burp spot! Quick I dont think its working! Youll have to jack me off too Mhorty! M: (feverishly licking) Ughg k Rhlick R: Its working Mhorty! Its working! (Back to the Future theme plays) M: Haha yeah Rhick, you did it Rhick! You saved my life! R: No Mhorty we did it, we saved your life...

Dickle Rhick is now available, re-blog from now until September 13 to be entered into a contest to win a free Dickle Rick! Need to get at least 40 re-blogs so let’s make it happen folks. At the end of the contest I will ship two out. One to the contest winner and one to the Rick and Morty offices.


*Edit As of writing this there have been 26 re-blogs the contest will go on for another week ending on September 21 to give one of you the chance to get the Dickle Rhick Parody dildo for free.

8

My name is Jordan Belfort. I’m a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week. — The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

4

Its time again for “Spacey Subject 101″ and this weeks subject is “Kevin w/one of his Hollywood Friends”. This one is easy as Kevin appears to be well liked and seems to have a lot of friends in the business. I have posted Kevin w/his long time friend Ed Norton. Here with Kevin at the 72nd Academy Awards March 26, 2000 and at the Signature Center Opening Gala on January 30, 2012 in NYC.  Can’t you just see these two getting in to some major mischief together??. Ok it’s your turn please re-blog and post a picture of Kevin w/any of his Hollywood friends. 

Please refrain from posting Kev w/President Clinton.. The Pres gets his own week later on and rightly so!  

Source: gettyimages/Mack/Gershof

Two Prompt Tuesday #26

Prompt: He’s replaceable. Stop putting up with his shit.
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word Count: 1245
Warnings: Body image issues, light language and … how do I put it? Not smut but a smut-themed situation?  

A/N: If you ever have anyone tell you that you’re not good enough, for any reason, be it your physical appearance or any other aspect of your life, walk away and don’t look back. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life because you are enough. You are more than enough. Don’t you dare ever let anyone tell you different.

Two Prompt Tuesday Masterlist

Your name: submit What is this?

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5

Dickle Rhick!!! I turned myself into a Dickle Mhorty! Now available, contest is also open until September 13, just reblog my link featuring the etsy shop to be entered into a chance to win your very own Dickle Rhick! Two will be given out at the end of the contest one to the winner and one to the Rick and Morty team. I bet they would appreciate the humor, so I’m asking for your help. Let’s make this interesting folks.


*Edit As of writing this there have been 26 re-blogs the contest will go on for another week ending on September 21 to give one of you the chance to get the Dickle Rhick Parody dildo for free.

3

THE LONG AWAITED PART THREE IS HERE (maybe i’ll make a part 4 if any one wants. honestly, i want to turn this into a series, like an actual fanfiction ?? any feedback about that idea? because if you guys are down for it, ill do it.)
these are the asks that are currently in the ask box requesting a part three, there was more but that was before my ask box got wiped ;n;

anyways, a sad kpop song gave me inspiration for this one.

part one: http://imaginedattebayo.tumblr.com/post/133977836398/26-kakashi-if-that-ok
part two: http://imaginedattebayo.tumblr.com/post/135027385873/20-for-kakashi-maybe-a-continuation-from-the

-

You hadn’t seen Kakashi in a week. Truth be told, this was because of your own doing. It came to your mind that it’d be better for you to avoid Kakashi, especially if you wanted to move on from him. He was probably doing fine anyways, Rin was their to accompany him. 

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heofspeckledplumage replied to your post: if anyone needs me, I will be filling my ears with…

I’m asking out of curiosity so sorry if I sound rude, but don’t you already have two jobs?

I do, but both of them are part-time, and although my hours add up to slightly over 40 a week, I’m not making a wage that I can move out on. (Still living with my parents.) Plus, in November, I’ll turn 26 and lose my health insurance, which means I’ll have to find coverage and take on that expense as well.

I’m looking for full-time employment, and unfortunately for me, full-time positions in my field are, like, nonexistent. And for those that do exist, I know for a fact that institutions would rather promote from within than hire someone from the outside–doubly so if “the outside” requires the candidate to relocate. I’ve actually been told more than once after an interview that I would’ve gotten the job had I not been out of state. I’ve seen firsthand how the selection happens.

Because of the way my field is, if I ever manage to live on my own I’m almost certainly going to be working more than one job, and my financial situation will always be slightly precarious. But I accept this, because I know that the alternative–working a safe, stable, 9-5 office job–is viscerally and fundamentally incompatible with my ADHD, my personality, and my way of life. I am almost completely incapable of self-regulating my attention, and need a job that regulates it for me, by putting me in near-constant interaction with people and/or animals. I consider this to be the best and worst thing about myself.

Even working six day stretches most of the time, I’m not making enough to move out and sustain myself financially. Part of it is the fact that I live in a very expensive state, but part of it is also that neither job pays a living wage.

And that’s why I’m looking at job listings.

Medicaid plus private insurance...?

Question for those of you who have adopted children from foster care in New York state… I’m 99% sure that Ray will be eligible for Medicaid until he turns 18 because he’s been in foster care for more than a year. I get individual health/prescription, vision and dental insurance coverage through my employer. It would cost me roughly $200 more per paycheck (I get paid every two weeks) to upgrade to family coverage for all those insurances – and most of that is in the health/prescription coverage.

When he’s older – like, school-age – I will most likely add him to my dental and vision coverage no matter what the Medicaid coverage is like because my employer-provided coverage is relatively cheap ($26 more per paycheck) and, well, braces and glasses are expensive… It wouldn’t hurt to be double-covered. But I’m loathe to give up about $160 per paycheck to double-cover him on health and prescription coverage if I’m never actually going to need my employer-provided insurance coverage for him. Then again, I also don’t want to see him under-insured with only Medicaid and end up paying more out-of-pocket in the long run. To be clear, Ray currently doesn’t have any serious health concerns, but he’s a kid — and sprains and broken bones happen to kids of even the most cautious parents.

So… has anyone faced this question in the past, specifically in New York state? (I know Medicaid coverage is different from state to state.) What did you decide? What were your biggest deciding factors? If you had to do it over again, would you make a different decision?

anonymous asked:

I am so frustrated with myself right now. Two weeks from now, I’d be turning 26 and I feel like I am not even half-way my goals yet. Sobrang wala pa din ako napprove until now. And I’m not yet stable with my life. I swear it’s really stressing me out. Grabeeee I’m on my late 20’s naaaa!!! 😭😩

have to give a huge shout out to @fluffyllamas22 and @toosicktoocare for putting up w my emo ass for the past few weeks and also for amplifying my prompts post!! I have prompts now!!!!

also just realized i had anon turned off before but i changed that so u can spam me with anon prompts now sorry bout that beebs

lastly im lowkey pining hardcore for the worst crush ive ever had in my 26 years on this earth (i know im fandom old shut up) so if yall wanted to send me whump prompts that include some nice pining elements ill probs prioritize cuz im about to drown my angst in sparkling rose and knock out a prompt or two

love yall

Yoga Relieves Multiple Sclerosis Symptoms

Paula Meltzer was only 38 when out of nowhere everything she looked at was blurry. For the single mother, who had a lucrative career as a gemologist and spent hours examining valuable pieces of jewelry, it seemed as if – in a split second – her life changed.

At first doctors thought Meltzer had a brain tumor. What they determined after further tests, however, was that she had multiple sclerosis, an autoimmune disease that affects the brain and central nervous system and was causing optic neuritis, an inflammation of the optic nerve that can cause a partial or complete loss of vision.

“I was living independently, doing my job, taking care of my child – and then I had to look to my parents to take care of me,” Meltzer said.

Almost two decades later, Meltzer, out of a wheelchair and walking without a cane, was one of 14 women with moderate disability due to MS who participated in a pilot trial conducted by the Rutgers School of Health Related Professions. A specially-designed yoga program for these MS patients not only improved their physical and mental well-being but also enhanced their overall quality of life.

“I felt like I became steadier and stronger in my core,” Meltzer said. Prior to yoga, she described herself as a “wall walker,”  someone who felt safer holding onto the wall in order to get around. “To be able to stand on one leg and feel balanced is amazing.”

Susan Gould Fogerite, director of research for the Institute for Complementary and Alternative Medicine in the School of Health Related Professions, said that although there is widespread evidence that yoga is being used as a form of exercise by those with MS, much of the feedback has been anecdotal and there isn’t much empirical data regarding its safety and efficacy.

This is why she and her colleagues, Evan Cohen and David Kietrys, physical therapists and associate professors in the School of Health Related Professions at Stratford, decided to undertake the small pilot study, believing that a specialized yoga program for MS patients – which incorporates mind, body and spirit – would be beneficial to everyday living.

What they discovered at the end of the eight-week trial was that those who participated were better able to walk for short distances and longer periods of time, had better balance while reaching backwards, fine motor coordination, and were better able to go from sitting to standing. Their quality of life also improved in perceived mental health, concentration, bladder control, walking, and vision, with a decrease in pain and fatigue.

 “Yoga is not just exercise, it is a whole system of living,” said Fogerite, an associate professor, who, along with Kietrys, will present the results on September 26 at the Symposium on Yoga Research at the Kripalu Institute in Massachusetts. “The panel of experts who advised us on the trial wanted to make sure that we provided a fully integrated program that included philosophy, breathing practices, postures, relaxation and meditation.”

The yoga pilot trial was held at Still Point Yoga Center in Laurel Springs, a southern New Jersey town close to Philadelphia. Of the 72 individuals who were interested in participating, only 16 were eligible based on medical and other criteria and availability. Of those, 15 were enrolled and 14 completed the program after one person had to withdraw because of an unrelated health problem.

Meltzer and the other women who participated in the trial ranged in age from 34 to 64. Some had been diagnosed with MS within the last two years while others had been living with the illness for up to 26 years. For 90 minutes, twice a week for two months, they practiced techniques and exercises that would improve their posture, help to increase stamina, and teach them how to relax and focus.

“This study, I hope, is one of many that will give us the clinical information we need,” said Fogerite. “Yoga is not currently being widely prescribed for people with MS, although it might turn out to be a very helpful treatment.”

The yoga practices were done by the women in the study sitting, standing, or lying on yoga mats, and using metal folding chairs situated close to the wall to provide them with more support.

“What was so nice about this experience was that although everyone was at a different level of the disease, we felt like we were all together, so I think the camaraderie helped,” said Meltzer. “And it wasn’t just about gaining more mobility and balance in our legs but our arms and necks felt stronger as well.”

Fogerite said a larger randomized controlled trial would be needed to determine whether yoga could be used as a prescribed treatment for individuals with moderate disability due to MS. More than 2.3 million people – two to three times more women than men –  throughout the world are diagnosed with this disease which can cause poor coordination, loss of balance, slurred speech, tremors, numbness, extreme fatigue and problems with memory and concentration.

“When I was first diagnosed I no longer felt safe in my own body,” Meltzer said. “I didn’t trust my body at all.  What the program did was really bring that trust back.”

8

Endless list of favorite movies
           ↳
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) “My name is Jordan Belfort. I’m a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.”

Reckless Proposition, Part 14

TAYLOR WAS AIRLIFTED OUT OF HOSPITAL 

Two days after Taylor Swift was rushed to the hospital after her performance at Billboard Music Awards 2017 on Sunday night, she was discharged and was airlifted out of Desert Springs Hospital to McCarran International Airport, Las Vegas, where she immediately boarded a private jet.

Swift’s rep released a statement regarding her hospitalization, citing the pop queen was suffering from dehydration and exhaustion.

During Swift’s stay at the hospital, Calvin Harris, who dated the singer last year before calling it quit in May 2016, was seen coming in and out of the hospital every day. Rumors of the two were getting back together have been swirling since Harris was seen leaving Swift’s Los Angeles home back in February. Swift’s latest album, Bare, which consists of thirteen love songs, is also rumored was about the DJ. Both reps have yet to confirm about these rumors.

————

Taylor Swift @taylorswift13 Ÿ May 26
I decided to take indefinite leave of absence from music. I’m sorry. I hope you’ll understand.

————–

“Two out of ten pregnancies ended in miscarriage. Usually it happened before twelve weeks. It was no one’s fault. It was just natural selection, only the strongest embryo would grow into a healthy baby,” the doctor had said. How could she, the Taylor Swift, become the statistic? Why couldn’t she for once get her turn in happy ending?

Taylor was in the darkest place she had ever been in her entire life. She was suffocated; her heart shattered into tiny pieces and she didn’t know how to put it back together; the pain was numbing she couldn’t feel anything else; she was walking on eggshells, ready to crack and tumble anytime.

Physically she was fine and functioning. It was when she was left alone with her thoughts that darkness took over. She was not ready to talk to anyone. Not her family, not her girlfriends and definitely not Adam. And they respected her decision, as worried as they might be, they knew Taylor would talk to them once she was ready.

She stayed in her parents’ house in Nashville to recover after her D&C procedure. Spending her days mostly getting lost in the woods around the property. Other days she just wrote songs, painful, heart wrenching and mostly dark songs about her unborn baby. She replayed the first song she wrote for the baby, the one she recorded on her phone after she came back from her first doctor’s appointment, over and over again. It was painful, yet it brought her a little peace, knowing that for a short period of time she was truly happy and excited to become a mother.

She felt silly for falling apart like this. After all, medically speaking it was not a baby yet. It was just a fetus, as big as a bean. But losing someone you love, no matter the size or state of being, was hard. Losing someone who was literally part of you, your child, was indescribable. There were no words.

Love was the only feeling she had for this little human. And this kind of unconditional love was the one that broke her apart.

Her girlfriends stopped by every now and then, and so did Adam. Whenever he finished with his gigs he immediately flew to Nashville to be with Taylor. Sometimes they talked about nothingness, other times they just sat at her parents’ porch watching the sunset without saying anything.

After about a month, Nashville was getting too much for Taylor. Her apartment, her childhood home and her other properties had too much memories of Adam… and their baby. She just knew she had to get away from all of it before she completely broke apart without any hope of coming back. She needed to be alone, to heal herself.

Her mother completely disagreed, worried that she would completely lose her daughter if Taylor was left to be alone. But Taylor insisted that she needed to do this and she promised that she would come back. Andrea finally relented.

One night at the end of June, Taylor and Adam were at their usual sunset watching spot. It was the most beautiful summer day, the warm breeze brushed their skin lightly, the sun was golden and the cloudless sky bore the perfect hue of tangerine.

Adam had just flown in earlier that day from a gig at Vegas. His manager wasn’t happy with the fact that he spent so much time in Nashville and not actively making new music at the studio. Adam just ignored him completely, Taylor was more important than new music. He could release new music anytime, but at that very moment Taylor was his number one priority.

“I was going to tell you…” Taylor suddenly said, her eyes never left the golden sunset in front of them.

Adam turned his head to Taylor, “Tay, you don’t have to explain…”

Taylor cut him off, “no, I do. You have a right to know, Adam.”

Adam nodded, “okay, go on.”

Taylor took a deep breath and began explaining herself, “I was going to tell you that night… that night…” she choked, “you know… after the BMA. I never wanted to hide it from you.”

“I know, Tay, I know you won’t,” he said gently.

A single lonely tear rolled on Taylor’s cheek, “I had known for three weeks. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I just needed time to figure out what I wanted first,” she whispered.

Adam choked, “were you… were you thinking about terminating the baby?”

Wiping her tears away, Taylor shook her head, “you know I could never do that, Adam. I just needed time to… come to terms, I guess. You know I wanted babies with you… but not like that… you know what I mean? Not when we were still complicated.” Taylor took a deep breath, “I didn’t admit it at first, but I have loved our baby since I found out, I knew I want it with or without you.” She finally turned her head and face Adam. Her blue orbs filled with sadness and pain.

Adam reached over and grabbed Taylor’s hand, “you will be a great mother, Taylor. Maybe not now, maybe not with this baby, but one day you will. You heard what the doctors said, you’re still young, we can always try again. Maybe now is just not the right time yet,” he said genuinely.

Taylor shook her head again and pulled her hand away from Adam, hugging herself over the chest protectively, “don’t say something when you don’t mean it, Adam, “ she said defensively.

“I’m serious, Tay, if a baby is what you want, I’ll give it to you.”

“No, Adam!” Taylor raised her voice, getting frustrated by the man sitting next to her, “a baby is not something you just give. I don’t want to have a baby with someone who doesn’t want it. I don’t want you to resent me for the rest of your life for doing something you didn’t even want in the first place! I told you, Adam, it’s okay to want different things.”

Adam buried his face into his hands, “you’re right, Tay! I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

Taylor took his hands, “I’m sorry too, Adam.”

They sat in comfortable silence until the last ray of lights disappeared behind the woods. They watched the sky turned from beautiful hue of orange, pink and purple into dark blue, and eventually pitch black. They knew it was the end of their relationship. It was beautiful like the cotton candy sky they had just witnessed, but now it was just dark. Tayvin was the story of the past, now it was just Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris, two broken souls.

“I will be moving somewhere, please don’t look for me,” she finally said, “I will be coming back eventually, and we’ll meet again, but for now I need some time alone. Like really alone.”

Adam nodded, “I understand,” he said reluctantly.

“Another thing…” Taylor hesitated.

“Yeah?”

Taylor looked at Adam’s eyes, “I want to name the baby, I just thought maybe… you have any ideas, something unisex, since we don’t know the gender…” Taylor choked on her words, couldn’t continue her thoughts.

Adam gave it a serious thought, “how about Mika?” he suddenly said, gazing at Taylor’s eyes, “it’s the short version of Michael or Mikayla… you know the angel?”

“Mika…” Taylor let the name rolled on her tongue, she smiled and nodded to Adam, “I love it.”

Adam raised his tea mug to the air, “Mika,” he said softly. Taylor also raised her own mug and whispered the baby’s name, before clinking their mugs together. Taylor could have sworn there was a lone star in the dark sky twinkling as they clinked the mugs.

They parted ways with a quick friendly hug without a saying a single word. There was nothing left to say between these two. Taylor knew that they were really over this time, and slowly she started learning to let go the amazing person that was Adam Richard Wiles.

(via Dear Mom zine 1 Preorders by Allmymetaphors on Etsy)

The first in my series! This zine is a collection of submissions from all over the world centered around the topic “Dear Mom.” It’s the result of months of hard work, and i am REALLY happy with how it turned out! With 26 submissions this is my biggest zine by FAR, and every page is packed with confessional, moving, and beautiful stories all about our moms. Pre-orders should be out within 2-3 weeks, and as always with preorders, this comes with two limited-edition stickers that wont be available again! If you don’t get to the pre-orders in time don’t worry! Regular orders will be up as soon as this goes out! And then work will start on book #2, with the 2nd batch of submissions! Thank you so much to everyone who has been a part of this process. I hope you all love this zine, and get as much out of reading it as I got out of putting it together!

As always, I need a lil help with getting enough money together to get the copies made, so if you guys buy preorders it would really mean a lot! Im sorry this is more expensive than my other zines but it’s REALLY BIG and has A LOT OF TEXT so i had no other choice im sorrY!!

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Get to know me meme→ [5/10] movies: “THE WOLF OF WALL STREET“ (2013) Dir. Martin Scorsese

"My name is Jordan Belfort. I’m a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.”

oh hey!!  (#evan’s birthday bash!)

evan edingers birthday is in less than two weeks! (july 29th) he is turning 26 years old!!! evan does so much for us.  he creates thoughtful content and is so down to earth, lovely, and a wonderful human being.  I want to do something special for him. and, I want others to join! 

so, here’s the plan: I will create a video compilation of all of your submissions. including video, photos, art, music, etc for Evan! 

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