i trust too fast

cross country (4/23/15)

a dusty desert road takes me there
and in silence i will go
i’ll take a trip to somewhere i’ve never been
with you, my dearest friend
on the highway we will travel
and i won’t ever feel alone

even in the dark, it won’t be so bad

as headlights pass us on the left
the night is cold
and we are going somewhere
i don’t feel empty anymore
i can see a destination not too far ahead
and this journey isn’t so bad after all

the love we share is strong
with you i’ve found my heart
you’ve shown me how to be happy
and together, i think we can do anything
i know with you i’ll be okay

i’m growing up
looking forward to falling asleep in the passenger seat of your car
i trust you not to go too fast

magic
fills the night sky
and i can see the morning light as it creeps over the horizon

i know i’m safe with you

confession

The worst thing is that I’m afraid of myself. I’m really afraid of myself. Because if I can bring myself to cut myself with razor blades and think I deserve it and starve myself, what would I be able to do to other people? What more can I do to myself? I’m so afraid that I’ll hurt myself in even more ways and that I might hurt my friends and family too if I die. People get the
idea that they can trust me way too fast and that’s all but a good thing. I can’t be trusted, I can’t be trusted because I’m going to screw it up anyways.‘

Rant

What is it about me that keeps me from running from danger every time I come close enough to feel it? My ex was a total asshole who assaulted me and treated me like dirt. Girls, why do we stand for bullshit like this? Are we much too afraid of being alone, or do we think it will get better? I trust too much, fall too fast, and was too naive. This wasn’t my fault. Who is tired of being emotionally abused and manipulated because you can’t identify the situation in time to protect yourself? Stop staring and mentally undressing me while I walk in the street, dawning baggy clothes to hide myself from the world. Who the fuck are you to think you are, that you think you possess the right to talk, to touch, to whistle and tell your opinion on the body of someone you don’t even know?


Take care of yourselves and don’t put up with anyone’s shit. 

I’m not sure if I did the right thing. Too soon? Too much too fast? Am I too trusting? I really don’t even know him. Not quite sure what I’m doing at the moment. I hope I didn’t scare him away.

anonymous asked:

This is super personal so if you don't want to answer that's okay, but what was the most tragic thing you had to go through and what did you learn by it?

there wasn’t anything really “tragic” in my life. the worst thing that has happened to me was bullying but I don’t think that’s “tragic”, it’s just sad.

And I have learned that I shouldn’t trust people too fast.