Ok ok but that texts from AH post think about it from the perspective of "this bird". She has to stay overnight in the next city over for work. Her cats have plenty of food and water, fresh litter. They'll be fine. Then she comes home and they're gone. All of them. And so is their litter, their beds. Someone's stolen her cats? The police aren't gonna do anything there's no signs of forced entry (Gavin picked the lock). She puts up fliers and posts online, looking for any information
Couple days later she’s browsing the fake’s twitters cause a) they’re pretty funny and b) any hint about where they might be is invaluable to citizens of los santos so they can stay the hell away. So anyway she’s scrolling through michael’s twitter and… is that…zig..? And gavin’s tagged so she checks gavin’s twitter and sure enough, there’s pictures of all her cats. He’s given them different names of course but there’s no mistaking them, especially not together
And what do you do when you find out your cats were stolen by THE FAKE AH CREW?? Do you call the cops with the new update? Animal Protective Services? Do you do nothing? Politely ask for them back over twitter? Gavin refuses to give them back, but (after some cajoling from Jack and Michael) she ends up with visitation rights. So that’s she ends up at the house of THE GAVIN FREE every other saturday. And hey he has a cat sitter now if they’re doing anything truly ridiculous
Oh my god what a terrible time i chose to drop off the face of the earth, this is amazing. I just love the idea of the slow realisation that yes, those are really her cats and no, there is no chance on this earth she is ever getting them back. The LSPD’s never ending failure to capture the FAHC is a joke even to normal citizens, there’s just no way in hell they’re going to get anything done over cats. Plus that might raise questions about what was going on in her apartment to attract the FAHC to it in the first place which, no. Add the fact that from the twitter pictures alone she is actually jealous of the life her cats are now living - perfectly groomed in shiny golden collars, surrounded by luxurious pillows and mountains of toys, cuddled up with new friends because apparently Free is building a feline army - and the poor girl has no idea how to feel about the whole thing. She didn’t even know that many love-heart emojis existed, let alone that one of the terrors of Los Santos spent his free time baby-talking cats just like everybody else.