It was an ordinary Saturday evening. You were just sitting in your room listening to music and scrolling through tumblr, what had become the norm. Yet it never used to be like this. 6 months ago you were full of life forever going out, it was difficult for you parents to get you to stay at home for more than 5 minutes. But then everything changed. Your boyfriend Luke had been given the opportunity to travel the world supporting one direction with his band. You were over the moon for him, it was the big break he had always dreamed of, but you knew deep down it would put a strain on your relationship. He would often tell you how he would stay in Sydney to be with you, but you would reply by saying to stop being so silly and to chase his dream. The months leading up you tried your best to cover the pain you felt with fake smiles, Luke meant to world to you, and you weren’t sure you were ready to give him away to the world. The day he left was the hardest day of your life. Having to hug him goodbye not knowing when he would be back was torture, waving him off through departures with your tear stained cheeks, knowing his were the same. The weeks that passed you both tried your hardest to remain in contact but the time difference was making it an almost impossible task, mixed with Luke’s busy schedule and the revision for your finals. You hadn’t officially broken up, neither of you had discussed it but you assumed the two year relationship had ended, considering you barely spoke. It felt like a one sided relationship with just you putting the effort in. Finally admitting that Luke had moved on, you decided to try to forget about him. But it just wasn’t the same. He wasn’t there beside you walking to school, holding your hand. Or next to you in English trying his best to make you laugh in the most awkward situations. But the thing you missed the most was when he sang to you. He was so talented at playing the guitar, singing and writing songs. Just before he left he’d shown you a few chords of a new song he was working on which he was really proud of. It had a fairly slow rhythm but was beautiful. Thinking about him this much led you to look at his twitter. 1.5 million followers, wow. Scrolling down there were numerous replies to fans, it was sweet of him to take time to talk to them. ‘So why didn’t he make that effort with me?’ You wondered. You kept scrolling until you saw he’d tweeted a link to a YouTube clip which you clicked on. Up popped the video which started playing…”hey guys it’s Luke here,” your breath hitched. Just the sound of his voice pained you, you missed him so much. “I just wanted to share this song I’ve written, with you. It means a lot to me as I wrote it about someone special, I didn’t know whether to upload it or not but the boys made me. Erm so yeah it’s called wherever you are so I guess here it is.” He finished in his awkward dorky self. You chuckled to yourself, ‘still the dorky Luke I knew’. The screen faded to black then changed to all four boys sitting around with their guitars and drums. The strumming started, the chords sounding slightly familiar you racked your brain trying to remember where you’d heard it before. Then Luke started singing. “For a while we pretended that we’d never have to end it, but we knew we’d have to say goodbye. You were crying at the airport when they finally closed the plane door, I could barely hold it all inside.” Immediately you hit pause, it felt like your heart was beating so fast you could see it through your top. “Luke” you whispered as if he was sitting right next to you. The lyrics fitted perfectly to your situation, surely he couldn’t have written the song about you? Your hands trembling and heart pumping you decided to resume the song, Luke carried on singing “torn in two and I know I shouldn’t tell you but I can’t just can’t stop thinking of you. Wherever you are.” The tears started rolling down your cheeks as the song continued, there was no way of stopping them. You listened to every single word, all of which reflected how you felt about Luke and the situation you were in. “I wish I didn’t have to be gone maybe you’ve already moved on but the truth is I don’t want to know.”
The song ended and you broke down. Luckily no one was at home to hear you as your hysterical sobs got louder and louder. You found yourself rocking backwards and forwards like a baby, clasping your knees up tightly against your chest. This was the first time you had properly broken down over Luke. You missed him so much, more than it was ever imaginable to miss anyone. All you wanted was for him to be holding you, his strong arms protecting you against the world as he whispered how much you meant to him into your ear. You just wanted to rewind to the start before it all went wrong. Once you’d calmed down, what felt like hours later, you stood up and walked over to your wardrobe rummaging around the back trying to find something. “Bingo” you whispered pulling out Luke’s old hoody you had shoved to the back months ago in an effort to forget about him. Pulling it over your head you smiled, it still had a faint scent of Luke. You wiped away the remains of your tears which stained your cheeks with the cuffs of his hoody, chuckling at the amount of mascara it left on the material. Pulling out your phone you made the decision you had been pondering over for the last 5 months. You dialled Luke’s number.