i tried to make it yesterday but it crashed like three times and frustrated me

Cold Shoulder

Pairing: Derek Hale x Reader

Requested?: Yes! My first request! (can you tell how excited I am?)

Request: “Request? Derek and reader are long time friends, so she knows about the werewolf thing and she helps him and the others keep themselves a secret (coming up with excuses, vouching for them, etc.). One day she’s helping Derek get away before he transforms, but some dude is there and is trying to go after him, so she distracts him by making out with him and Derek gets super jealous but won’t tell her. He tries to avoid her until she finally confronts him, confused and hurt. Angst and fluff, maybe??”

Words: 3.2k+

A/N: I’m actually really happy with this one! I hope you guys like it and Banna you’ve been WAITING FOR THIS. HERE IT IS @braedens

Originally posted by expressivedolphin

Becoming friends with Derek Hale was one of the most exhilarating and terrifying things to happen to you. The world of the supernatural was one you could never get too comfortable in because the list never seemed to end. Werewolves, Kitsunes, Chimeras, Kanimas, Banshees, and so many more your head spun just thinking about it. Your main focus at the moment was werewolves, more specifically the werewolf you were currently trying to lead out of the streets of Beacon Hills.

Derek got harmed during a battle and became sick. That concept confused you because of the rapid healing power werewolves have but Deaton made it clear that Derek got infected with a dangerous venom when he went toe to toe with yet another mythological creature last week. The venom wasn’t going to kill him but it did weaken him to the point where he couldn’t control his wolf side anymore. He would begin to shift at random times and since you hung around Derek the most, you were tasked with keeping him under control or getting him in private so he could shift and then wait for him to calm down again.

“Derek you know you can’t control yourself anymore. Going outside is a dumb idea!” You tried to reason with him but you knew better than anyone that he was stubborn.

“If I stay in my loft anymore I am going to lose my mind.” Derek spoke through gritted teeth, his eyes flashing blue and his fangs beginning to grow.

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Little Friend

Summary: Dean wakes up with a killer hangover and very little memory of the night before. The reader fills him in. 

Word Count: 1,500ish

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: crack, fluff, mentions of drunkenness and bad hangovers

Author’s Note: This was written for @death2thevirgin Cassie’s Classics Challenge. Congratulations on your followers! If you’re not following her, I definitely recommend it. My prompt was “Say "hello” to my little friend,“ and I had so much fun writing it. I hope you enjoy! 

Originally posted by aborddelimpala


Your name: submit What is this?

Dean knows as soon as he wakes up that he is in trouble. His mouth tastes like something crawled in and died sometime in the last ten hours and there is a pounding in his head that makes him want to die. The room is pitch-black; lights off and the door closed. He fumbles for the bedside lamp and nearly dies when he successfully turns it on. Thank Chuck that whoever put him in bed had left a puke bucket by the bed. He hasn’t used it yet, but it is looking like a strong possibility before he notices the bottle of water and two painkillers beside the lamp.

He groans and makes his way into the kitchen. Sam is blenderizing something green that was clearly never meant to be eaten for breakfast. The noise echoes insides Dean’s head, ricochets against the inside of his skull, and settles as a throbbing between his eyes.

“Dude, what happened last night?” Dean asks.

“You mean you don’t remember?” Sam eyes him, eyebrows raised. He’s clearly not surprised.

Dean groans in response, letting his head fall to the table in defeat. “No. Did I get cursed again?”

Sam grimaces as he pulls the eggs and jam from the refrigerator. “No, just the usual hangover. But when Y/n wakes up, you might wish you had been cursed.”

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Hello Neighbour

Characters: Tony x Reader

Summary: Living next door to Tony Stark is, unsurprisingly, a little bit of a nightmare but how much could you take before you are seriously planning to sneak in and murder the inconsiderate ass in his sleep?

Word Count: 2041 words

Prompt “You’re my new neighbor, but I know you’re stealing my wifi to watch porn. Can you not?”

A/N:  This is for @bionic-buckyb and her fabulous challenge.  Thanks for the prompt sweetie. xx

You weren’t usually a passive aggressive note kinda person and as you found yourself scribbling yet another post-it note for the inconsiderate asshole who had moved into the apartment next door you let out a frustrated growl.  It had started innocently enough.  The wonderful, amazing gay couple that you adored moved out into a gorgeous, much larger condo and you had waited the arrival of your new neighbour with a little trepidation but general hope.  You had been at work when they moved in and upon entering the hall you’d had to climb over several boxes just strewn about the place with a frown.  It was okay though, perhaps they were moving in by themselves and with the parking restrictions had to get everything in the building as quickly as possible.  You got how stressful moving was so you let it slide.  When the thumping bass caused your bed to vibrate so much it woke you at 3am you had simply taken a steadying breath and tried to focus on the fact that your new neighbour was still unpacking at this hour and deserved your pity, the music was probably just to keep them awake to finish what they could.

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Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Warning(s): fluff

Word Count: 1503

Author’s Note: this is my entry for @caplansteverogers‘ christmas writing challenge. i chose the ‘stuck inside during a blizzard au’ prompt!

Permanent Tag List: @palaiasaurus64 @oh-shjt@haydieenzzibug​  @buchananbarnestrash@ironstank@owhatshername1@missycamillex​ @feistytravel@slender–spirit@in-winchester-we-trust@justreadingfics​ @satans-knitting-club@lowkeysebby@chrevastan​ (let me know if you want to be added to either list here!)

Drabble • Smut Fic • Oneshot

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A Bughead Drabble

Don’t judge me. Don’t hate me. Lol.

“You keep calling me Juliet.”

She looked me dead in the eye as if she was almost mad, never had I seen such a reaction to what most girls would consider quite a compliment from the circles of romantic literature.

I more or less see it as either a satisfying comment to make a girl fall for you or the most annoying and unsatisfactory series of events that lead to nothing but frustration. Is that not the love ballad of Romeo and Juliet?

She tightens her long blonde ponytail and then spins on the balls of her feet to look at me, slapping her hands to the sides of her hips. “And can you please find another way to get up here!” she says rushing to the window, scowling at my ladder leaning against her window. “My parents will kill me, Romeo!”

I try not to make it so obvious that my voice has hitched in my throat and I straighten my beanie before smiling at her. “Don’t say I’m your Romeo, Bets. I never have been.”

She frowns a bit and I can almost hear her mind ticking. Betty Cooper has always had a way of expressing her thoughts through the looks on her face. I have known her for so long, I was somewhat of a clairvoyant to a small group of people that we call our friends.

She must have felt she had  offended me, forgetting that good ol’ Juggie doesn’t have the sensitive heart that her beloved Archie does. “But-bu-” I cut her off.
“But that would be fair Archie Montague,” I say, giving her a wink which earns me a shove on her behalf.

She sits back down on the edge of her bed and lays back, her lacy dress riding up and as much as I wanted to look away, be a decent human being and the respectable young man I have tried oh so hard to make myself into, I couldn’t help but notice how her blushed skin was reaching further up and up and…


I snap my head away from her smooth legs and quickly up to her face. “Yeah?”

“I got a message from V, you interested in a bit of a bite?”

I didn’t want to admit it, but I was hunting for an excuse not to go. I had blown Archie off but unfortunately, he is not blind and he will see the ladder leaning against Betty’s picket fenced house. My hands had been so deep in my pockets for a while now and I wonder if she’s noticed but I shake my pockets. “No money.”

Betty laughs and runs her teeth over her bottom lip. “And I will have your back – or Veronica will.”

My face blushes but it shouldn’t – dad had given me a one hundred dollar bill when I crossed him in the street just yesterday which I start fingering in my pocket. “Bets…”

“If it’s too much of a girly date for you, we’ll call Arch to join us.”

I cock an eyebrow. “And detach him from the string and wood connected to his side? I dunno Bets,” I say teasingly.

I scan around her room while she lays down with her head in her hands. So many trinkets, such a big room. So much space and flowers and photos of her and Archie, photos of us three when we were kids, polka dots, lace. So much lace. “So much lace,” I voice out loud.

She sits up and sniggers a bit. “I hate it…”

“So much lace from the top of your bed to the edge of your thighs,” I mutter but I immediately bite my tongue because why the hell did I say that out loud? The lace may be pink and creeping up her body like a vine but I should not be paying so much attention…

Betty sighed and ran a hand over her hair. “It’s so girly. I keep saying that but I never do anything about it.”

I shrug and sit down next to her. “Make it womanly then?”

Betty rolls her eyes and shoves me again, making my body move and unbalance. “Nothing about me is womanly…” she looks down and blushes, red spreading along her face and neck. “Sorry Juggie, I’m being awkward…”

Again Betty Cooper has left me with a lump in my throat and I try not to make it so obvious. “Well, your shirt tells me otherwise,” I say, reaching over and brushing my fingers along her collarbone and begging to brush the swell of her breasts.

She forms goosebumps where my fingers were and shudders a bit. “Have you always been good with your words?”

“Are they working?” I ask a little too loudly. “I’m joking, it’s like a coping mechanism – the more I use my mouth, the less people ask of me. It’s like they don’t know what I’m talking about half the time.”

She licks her lips and rolls over on her bed to face me. “I wonder how well you use that mouth, Jug,” she seems to say in a whisper but I think I have turned supersonic because it feels like it is the loudest thing I have ever heard. “But I am more intrigued in wondering what that brain knows.”
Her chest rises and falls and her hands move up to rest on my forearm. The many times that I’ve stared into the blue eyes of Betty Cooper have not seem to have prepared me for how deep a blue  her eyes are or the spattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. Not the meet ups in the tree house, not the sleepovers at Archie’s that she would crash, not the years we’ve spent in the same class had prepared me. Nothing prepared me and I appreciate not being prepared because she seems that much more… sexy?

“My mind?” I try and say steadily. “Well, my mind tells me that you’ve moved on from the Romeo that is Archie.”

Her gentle hands seem so heavy as they move down my body, edging the end of my shirt and then long fingers touching my skin along my hips and onto my torso. “I want to be brave, Juggie.”

I turn to her too now, gripping my lip with my teeth, trying not to shake or feel too much of her hands on my skin. My lips and teeth can feel the heat of her mouth. Shit, if this is what gets me riled, then so be it. Connecting of the minds first has definitely played it’s role in my longing for Betty. As much as I wished I still thought of Betty as my friend, the wishes were being pushed out to the side, punched and mauled by what I am starting to detect is… love?

We stared. She smiled. Her lips brushed mine. Her hands grew bolder, they moved up and down me, her chest pushed against mine. She opened her mouth and took my lip from my own teeth and in between hers.

“Looks like you’re the brave one, Bets.”

My hands snake up under the lace, my teeth are on her neck and the smell of vanilla is so strong, my nose burns. She arches her back to get closer and I use that mouth she had just questioned to show her what it can do.

Coliver 4x04 Coda

I’M BACK FROM THE DEAD. The show actually gave me something to work with! I was disappointed with what they did with Connor’s dad(s), so I decided to spice it up. The coming out headcanon came from a previous fic I wrote (season 3 finale coda,) but this can be read separately. Trigger warning for self harm/suicidal thoughts. Enjoy!

 “So he just showed up out of nowhere?” Gemma asked, voice tinny due to the phone.

“Apparently, he tried to call me a bunch. I took one look at the number and blocked it.” Connor said, lounging on the couch, the half empty bottle of pinot noir staring back him on the coffee table.

Why would he want to see you anyway?”

“I may have dropped out of law school and wasted his thirty-two thousand,” Connor said, trying to get the words out as quick as possible.

You did what?!?! Connor, when you tell mom she’s gonna–”

If. If I tell mom. But something tells me Jeff already did,” spat Connor.

What are you gonna do now, then? You can’t just laze around at home,” Gemma chastised, using her best Mom voice.

“I dunno, I think I’m pretty good at it now.”

Connor seriously, you have to–”

“Gem. Not now. Please, I get this lecture from enough people.”

Fine. But you’re not moving here when your money runs out.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Connor flinched as he heard a loud crash coming from the other line, followed by an extremely frustrated sigh from his sister.

I gotta go parent. Remember what I said. Talk to you soon.”

“Talk to you soon, love you,” Connor muttered, hanging up the phone. He sighed and rubbed his face. He was doing fine, and then Jeff decided to waltz back into his life. It’s not like he was there for him when he needed it, so why was he trying to act all Concerned Parent with him now. Connor felt a migraine form behind his eyes, remembering what he said about Oliver. How dare he say that Oliver wasn’t right for him? How dare he act like he knew what was best for Connor. Where was he when Connor had a panic attack and sunk to the floor? Where was he when he watched a dead body fall five stories and splatter on concrete? Where was he when—

“Hey you!”

Oliver’s bright voice rang in the living room, snapping Connor out of his thoughts. Though he was exhausted, he couldn’t hide the smile that grew on his face, seeing Oliver in that tacky purple IT shirt.

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Sasha’s POV

I hummed to myself as I set the table, I just finished making dinner, over the years Justin has put on what most people call marriage weight, his ass was getting thick. I smiled to myself daydreaming of his plump ass. He would prolly be getting that thicc suck tonight. 

I loved cooking for my man, he was scrawny when we first met, looking unfed and malnourished, like a crackhead. I always tease him when I see his hip bones jutting out, sometimes he forgets to eat from being so busy. I worry because he spreads himself so thin, he sometimes feels obligated to give everyone a piece of himself. He deserves so much more, he just stresses so much. I’m always there for him, to support him because we take care of each other. He is in every definition my best friend. 

That’s why I needed this night to be perfect, it was our first date in a while. I would be surprising him tonight. I was going to be making him a very happy man.

I am proud of Justin for accomplishing and maximizing his brand for an IPO in Wall Street. He was already so successful but he was even more attractive now that he was the Boss. The tailored suits he wore after leaving the house. I could gas that nigga up all day long.

Lately he has been going on business trip after business trip. He always tries to make time for me, no matter how busy his schedule cos that is Justin’s personality. After his record production merged he works so hard, spending long hours making music and expanding his label company. He had a little apartment made in the building since we lived so far from LA.

I love Justin, so I love his passion for performing and music. I wouldn’t make him choose something that makes Justin who he is, if it weren’t for his music I wouldn’t have never worked on his album. I wouldn’t love Justin for who he is if he wasn’t him. Music is such a huge part of him. 

There was really no one else who could do it for me than him. It’s corny and shit, I would have never thought I be a head ass and get married. He wanted it, marriage, he wanted a family. I wanted to travel and live in the moment. I didn’t even see myself married to a man, let alone a white man. 

I saw myself moving in and out of people’s lives, being independent, just constantly creating. I guess I stayed because Justin made everything seem small. I fell in love and I found out pretty quickly I would do anything for him because I just wanted him in my life. It was crazy how you feel like someone is just a part of you. He is my other half. I tell him everything. 

I felt like I was unlovable for so long. Justin made me believe I was worthy and good enough. He gave me the strength to love myself again. Without him, my life would be so full of self loathing and hopelessness. He made me feel like life was worth living, as long as I lived it with him. I love him because he is everything I needed, everything I could ever want in a person, I love him because he loved me when I couldn’t love myself. He taught me to love again; he is very much someone who inspires me everyday.

It was hard sometimes because of the time differences and locations, I didn’t see him weeks at a time. 

I wanted to travel with him but it wasn’t a good idea for optics. Not seeing him hurt me but it came with the business. I usually traveled to Atlanta or Miami producing his other artists.

It’s the best feeling to come home to someone and they uplift you. 

I believed that we were individuals with our own experiences, our relationship was very open with one another. I never wanted to control who he was. I’m very open with the fact he is allowed to do whatever, I’m not someone to tell him no because things he experiences cultivate he creative mind. We are both artists and I would never tell him he should stop doing things he likes because of me; we agreed we will always communicate no matter the situation; we both have the space to talk to one another. We worked just like that, long distance didn’t hinder our relationship. If anything it made it stronger.

It didn’t stop me from missing him. We’ve been through a lot together. This dinner means a lot to the both us.

I looked at the time on my phone.

6:15 he should be here by 6:30, everything was coming together.

I was exhausted, I flew in from a five hour flight yesterday, honestly phone sex and my vibrator was getting old. I needed to be dicked down. I’m talking about sideways diagonal, at this point I really don’t care. I need Justin to tear this ass up.

I spent the day shopping for the perfect lingerie and oils for massages. I got my eyebrows done, my hair was laid, baby hairs popping.

I put on a burgundy red blow job proof lipstick cos like I said he will get that thicc succ tonight, we on that nut if you buck type of shit. 

I got on my ‘fuck me now’ dress with ‘we getting some dick tonight’ heels. I’m going all in. 

My ass was looking extra phat, I had on that dress that basically fucking hypnotized a nigga like biggie biggie can’t you see sometimes yours words just hypnotize me. I mean this the type of dress that make me wanna fuck my whole self bitch.

6:30 I lit the candles and waited for my mans to arrive. I heard Esther barking at the door, and anticipated his entrance. But my baby ended up just barking at the wind.

6:45 he was probably stuck in traffic.

6:55 I texted him but his dumb ass didn’t respond yet. This bitch better walk in any second.

7:10 his food began to get cold so I put it in the microwave. I made jerk chicken, with rice and beans, mac and cheese, and collard greens. I just slaved over this white men, I roll my eyes. 

7:15 I fixed my cleavage in the mirror. I ended up calling him but it went straight to voicemail. I called again, and again. I began to worry. Where is he? He wouldn’t forget today? I called the studio and his office but no answer. I dialed his assistant, she answered on the second ring.

“This is Bieber Records, how may I help you?”

“Hey, Liv can you transfer me to Justin’s phone or something? Is he in the office?

“Sorry Sasha, Justin is busy in the studio, he told me to not let anyone disturb him”

“Don’t I get special priviliges, Liv” I tried to compensate with her.

“I don’t want to loose my job Sasha” she said worriedly.

“Alright, just tell him I called then” I hung up the phone.

I blow out the candles, I’m passed the point of mad, I’m livid.

I go upstairs and change out of the dress and this over complicated lingerie set. Throw on a t-shirt, wash off this stupid ass blowjob proof lipstick, it smears all over my lips, with a fustrated sigh, I get a wash cloth a scrub my lips. I will myself not to cry cos that’s what I’m sure as hell not gonna do. I saw the deep bags under my eyes once I scrubbed off the remainder of my face.

I was just hormonal right now.

I wrapped my hair with a silk scarf and then slipped my bonnet on.

I go into the medicine cabinet and take my vitamins with someone water, I needed some alcohol but that wouldn’t be a good idea. I sleepily get into bed. I get under the covers and can’t help but break down. 

I missed him, I was lonely, stupid, but most of all anger ached through every inch of my body.

He stood me up. He didn’t even call to let me know. I wanted to fight his ass on sight before I could plan to jump him, my emotionally exhausted ass knocked out as soon as I found a comfortable spot.

I jumped up from what sounded like crashing from downstairs. Someone was obviously trying to break in. Don’t be a scary bitch, run these niggas up out of here.

I took one of Justin’s golf clubs and stood in front of the door ready to hit the motherfucker who decided to interrupt my sleep. 

My bedroom door swings wide open to reveal Justin. I could smell the liquor leaking out of his pores.

I drop the club, I haven’t seen him in almost three weeks before I could feel happy, all I could see was red. I don’t let it surface because what good would it do if he was drunk as shit.

“Fuck you scared the shit out of me. Where were you?”

“Something came up at work”, Justin dismissed.

“U missed dinner earlier”. I hint.

“S’okay I already ate Sash”, I try to put on a front, but that breaks me.

I lead him to the bed and take off his shoes and dress clothes leaving him in his underwear. I lay next to him and give him a glass of water with vitamins and Advil to lessen the blow of the inevitable hang over.

Justin passes out and I cuddle into my drunken husband’s neck, seeking the warmth he emanates. I hear his phone vibrate on the floor.

I get the phone and throw his clothes in his damn hamper. Scooter’s contact was lighting the screen.

I hear yelling and frustrated sighs, and accusations of not being in the studio. A lot of cussing, I can’t make out his voice among everyone yelling or thinking they are yelling at Justin.

“Scooter, is everything alright”, immediate silence.

“Justin is with you?” Scooter finally breaks it. Suspect…….

“Yes, he came home about ten minutes ago drunk, did anything happen, he seemed upset?”

“I don’t know Sash; don’t stress your pretty little head. He will be fine, probably had a little confrontation with the team, nothing unusual”, Scooter tells me.

“Alright thank you, have a good night then”, I yawn.

“Wait Sasha, Happy Birthday, hope to see you soon”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it”, the hear the phone click on the other end. At least someone remembered.

I could have sworn Justin was playing around this morning and this week, not mentioning it on purpose. I thought he was gonna surprise me, he always pulled pranks that I always fell for. 

Was I stupid for questioning my relationship? Am I making this a bigger deal than it is.

All I had was Justin, he had shared his friends and a family with me. They called me to wish me a happy birthday.

Selena even called, Justin’s ex. They were still friends and I trusted Justin, I put up with it because it’s always led to a fight.

I wasn’t that type of person to tell him he can’t be friends with other girls, that’s controlling and also ignorant.

I don’t think I can do this shit anymore.

I just went to bed not trying to think about how hurt I was.

“Justin, Justin”, I gently tried to wake him up. I had some shit planned for this nigga.

“Baby”, I kissed the side of his head, and made my way to his lips. He slowly opened his eyes, confused and settled in his surroundings. He bit my bottom lip and slowly suckled on to them as he brushed his tongue against mine. Nasty cos I tasted stale alcohol. It was still good because Justin has plump lips.

He woke up to me in a lingerie set and see through kimono leaving little to the imagination. I smiled at his wanton kisses. He purposefully tickled me and blew raspberries on my neck while making me laugh. I eventually gave him one last kiss.

“I’ve made you breakfast, your favorite”, I sing.

“Thank you baby”, I basked in the deep raspy baritone of his voice and admiration. I really loved the moments when he was all mine.

“So, I was thinking we can spend the whole day together, I’ve missed you”, I rattled on.

As Justin ate his French toast, he pressed a kiss to the crown of my head. “You know I’ve missed you too baby”, he said with a full mouth.

“Don’t choke”, I raised an eyebrow almost reprimanding him. I continued asking him what he wanted to do for the rest of the day.

“Baby, I can’t today, I have to work”, I stopped talking. I nod my head. I quickly got up from the bed and went to the closet to choose his suit and tie and began to iron his outfit. As I ironed, I tried not to cry but the tears started falling before I could stop them.

“Baby, don’t be like that. C’mere”, he sat his empty plate on the night stand. He went to go comfort me; placing his arms around my waist attempting to soothe my tears. I continue to iron his clothes ignoring his advances. Once I finished, I tried to escape his grasp but it was no use. He turned me around and held my chin firmly.

“You know I want to, Sash”, he smiles his sad rehearsed smile that I always fall for but I feel rebellious today. I was allowed to be selfish, all I want was him to at least try and put effort into our marriage. I sure as hell didn’t sign up to be alone.

“You’re the boss, take off for one day”, I plead.

“You’re cute, you know that. It’s not that easy honey”, he kissed my cheek and went to get ready.

“Justin we need to talk”, his eyebrows crossed in confusion. “Is there anything I need to know Justin? Tell me, I can take it. You came home shit-faced drunk at 3 in the morning, Scooter was worried. I was worried”, 

“Nothing Sasha, I was working late and—” I abruptly cut him off.

“No, you missed our date night”, I shout with unshed tears. I knew I was extremely sensitive but he had no excuse.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I’ve must have missed it on the schedule, Liv probably forgot to tell me”, he lied easily. I knew he was lying because his assistant goes over his schedule everyday.

“You told Liv not to let anyone disturb you, you were in the studio. I called, I thought you were hurt cos you never miss our date nights”, I point out.

“I know I’ve hurt you sweetheart, but I will spend every day making it up to you”, he smiled. I wiped my tears cos now I was mad. I was gonna cuss he out last night but today is a new day. 

“You know it’s funny how you think that you can lie to me? Yo, I’m not about to sit here like a fool. I’m tired Justin. It’s more than the fucking date, we haven’t seen each other in three weeks, I had a long ass flight, working with your artists, and you got the motherfuckin audacity to come here drunk off your ass, really nigga, that’s what were doing now. You got me fucked up, you five minutes to explain yourself. If you leave this house, sleep somewhere else tonight” I crossed my arms and he did the wow nigga face cos he caught lying. Ain’t shit sometimes. I’m flaring my nose.

“You are selfish and trifling right now” I yell at him. “You a bitch ass nigga” I said as I began walking away. He pulled me back to face him.

“Don’t fucking touch me” I yanked my arm away from he tight grip.

“C’mon Sasha, tell me what I did” he begged like a little bitch.

“I want to slap that dumb ass look you got on your face right now” I pointed my finger in his face.

“Did you forget something yesterday”, I said calmly, almost serene like. It was borderline scary.

“The date—”, he stopped talking as I started shaking my head.

“No”, I barked. I needed to calm down. I let out a breath and tried to hold in the anger I had. 

“You really forgot”, I swallowed as my throat started to close up. Justin furrowed his eyebrows.

I shook my head and laughed. I was beyond angry. 

“My birthday Justin, it was my birthday yesterday, and my husband forgot. Not only did you forget but you stood me up and decided to come home in the middle of the night drunk as fuck”, I nodded at him. I wipe my tears. He just stood there with the same blank face. I had to walk away from him right now. 

“Come back Sasha, I’m sorry baby, I fucked up” I ignored him because I was so fucking pissed but I didn’t want him to see me cry. I locked myself in the bathroom.

“Please let me in” he pounded on the door.

This was the worst time to be having a fight, if only if he knew. 

I changed into a long t-shirt and cotton panties, I didn’t feel so sexy anymore. Did he really not want me? I felt embarrassed and stupid. 

I eventually unlocked the bathroom door and heard Justin taking a shower 

I took out my untouched birthday cake, and cut a big chunk. I ate the rich chocolate cake with a large glass of milk and began watching re-runs of Scandal. Justin and I used to watch a new episode every Thursday together. 

Everything I did reminded me of Justin. I hated it when we fought, I’m emotional right now.

It was really sad that he couldn’t even remember my birthday. This is what I’ve become; a sad wife, I didn’t even want to be married in the first place; he begged me, begged for this domestic life. I went back in the kitchen for more cake. I took my mac and sat at the kitchen table. Eating and shopping. I heard Justin come down stairs. He was in a charcoal grey suit I picked out for him, he looked good but I the sight of his made me extremely angry.

Justin opened the fridge. He smiled and looked over to me, I quickly glance back to my computer screen. I was biting my lip, fuck him. I’m gonna spend his fucking money. Stupid ass bitch. Not like I could actually put a dent in it.

Justin went back upstairs as I loaded shit into my online shopping bag. I hit the word buy and cracked my knuckles and went onto the next high end website. He came back down in lounger wear while I sat drinking milk. He started heating up food/

He came up behind me, I immediately tensed. He started to massage my shoulders, and started to place kisses on my back. I shivered from his attention. I closed my eyes and let out a soft moan as Justin scraped his teeth over my sweet spot. He didn’t play fair.

He spun me around, and kissed me deeply. He kissed me with ‘I’m sorry’s’ as I silently forgave his negligence and cursed his silver tongue and his full lips and his big calloused hands from the strings of his guitar. He slid his hand into my panties and sucked on my neck, as I moaned out expletives. His fingers began an assault on my clit, slowly massaging circles as something began to build in my chest. One finger, two, than three began to thrust into my hot center. I couldn’t hold in the moans and control the yeses and gods that came out on it’s own.

“You like when I fuck you like this baby”, Justin sucked on the shell of my ear, as I began to climb for release.

“Aah—yesssss”,  I couldn’t form a coherent sentence at the moment.

“Who makes you feel this way”, his tempo began to increase in 808 beats. I felt my pussy quiver as the wetness pooled. I moaned and pleaded for him to make me come.

“Come for me baby”, Justin demanded in his husky voice. I let go as my core throbbed. Justin continued to rub my now sensitive area as his mouth made his way up to my mouth.

“You’re so beautiful”, I was speechless. I hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Sex with Justin was always this good. Justin kissed me again.

He bent down to remove my panties. He placed an open mouth kiss on my stomach and made his way up to my breasts. He took off my shirt; he cupped and kneaded my naked breasts as my nipples hardened. I moaned his name in a low plead, he placed opened mouth kisses all over my neck and chest. He slowly circled his tongue around a nipple, making me clench my jaw. I hated when he teased me like this. His teeth finally tugged on my nipple causing me to throw my head back, he sucked and bit at the nipple as his hand kneaded the other between his thumb and pointer finger, slightly pulling on the hardened nipple. As he attacked the second breast with his mouth, I began to feel the wetness gather and drip down my thighs.

“Justin, please”, I beg.

“Please what?” his facetious tone made me frustrated.

“fucking touch me already”,

“I am touching you, be more specific”, he commanded.

“I want you to lick me, fuck me, at this point I don’t care”, I moved his hand in between the apex of my thighs.

“That’s all you had to say, baby”, he grinned. I rolled my eyes back as his finger thrusted into my wet pussy. He lifted me up on the table. And sat down on the chair with everything on display, my legs spread wide open for Justin, and only Justin.

He slowly kissed my thighs and made his way to the middle. He placed an open mouth kiss on my clit. I moaned as my hands grabbed on to his hair, pulling through it. He began to suck my clit into his mouth while thrusting two fingers in me. Justin alternated his ministrations by switching to sucking and licking up my clit. His fingers were drenched with my arousal. He made his way inside my core making me scream his name and lock my thighs around his head. My hips began gyrate on his mouth, I felt his silver tongue lap up my wetness and thrust into me. I moaned and moaned, until my release gushed onto his mouth. Justin lapped up every drop, and kissed his way up to my mouth. He pulled me on to his lap and started grinding into my pussy. I groaned at the friction and tangy taste of myself on Justin’s mouth. His chin was drenched with me; I’ve never seen anything more erotic. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth.

“Fuck me”, I pleaded into his mouth. Justin pulled down his boxers revealing his hard erection. I rotated my hips as if there were music playing. We found a hot steady rhythm. Justin hands gripped my hips hard, and thrusted into me. I gasped and tried to let my head fall back again but he held my chin in place and forced me to look at him. He pistoled his cock deep into my pussy as fast as he could. I could do nothing but arch my back as he pounded into me over and over again, my legs were shaking and my core was tightening around his hard dick. I felt liquid dripping to my thighs, as he continued his thrusts. My body stiffened and then exploded uncontrollably. My pussy throbbed, my legs shook, and my stomach quivered as I was hit by a wave and an after wave, I was unable to do anything but submit to them. I heard a deep guttural sound as Justin lost his rhythm and began to pump into me erratically, as his orgasm over took him.

He kissed me hard, letting me know that I was his, for now. I happily sighed.

“I love you”, I said into his ear, I only got a grunt and a kiss on the side of my head.

After we both came from our high. I forgot about my purchases, and he led me up to the bedroom with candles lit, my food I cooked last night warmed, a bubble bath set, and the massage oils on the night stand. I was happy, not that he forgot, but he would make it up to me. I looked up at him with unshed tears.

He squeezed my hand and began to apologize. I cut him off with a deep kiss. I already forgave him. 

“Justin I have to tell you something” I smiled and started crying.

“What is it baby, stop crying, I’m sorry I hurt you” he comforted me as kissed the tears away.

I walked over to the night stand and took a picture out of a manilla folder. I handed it to him.

“I thought, I thought” he had tears in his eyes.

“I know, me too”

“You’re pregnant” his tears fell.

“Surprise” I kissed his lips.

“I’m so sorry, I’m never gonna hurt you again, either of you” he kissed me hard. “What did the doctor say?” he was so concerned. 

“The usual, rest, eat healthy, don’t get stressed” I said poignantly.

“How far along are you?” he asked.

“I’m 12 weeks, Justin” I laughed through tears.

“You’re barely showing though” Justin rubbed my stomach.

“The due date is in March, you know, just like you, happy early birthday” I joked.

“I’m so happy, I thought the doctor said it wasn’t going to happen”

“I never knew how much I wanted kids until after I the miscarriages, but I’m so happy too, you make me mad but so happy at the same damn time. I’m so scared, Justin. I’m scared, I don’t even wanna say it allowed”

“I know baby, we have to stay positive, we will get through this, all of us, together. I already love him so much, I love you though, thank you”

“I’m sorry it took me so long” I teared up a little.

“Never be sorry for that, stop it, you’re perfect. I will always love you whether or not we have children or not. I love you so fucking much”

“I love you too Justin” I pressed  kiss into his lips. “Make love to me, please” I whispered, he picked me up and carefully laid me on the bed.

“No more rough sex from now on” Justin warned. I laughed.

This is all that mattered. Him with me, talking, loving, and enjoying each other: that was all I wanted for my birthday, and I got more than I imagined.

I stopped traveling because I was forced on bed rest, Justin took time off so he could stay home with me, our lifestyle changed instantly to welcome this kid into our lives. I was getting bigger each day, I had a fucking watermelon inside of me.

We didn’t tell the media yet, but our closest friends and family knew. This was the first real pregnancy, I had so many miscarriages before, and they would happen before the three month mark, but I was five months and half months pregnant. We had an appointment to find out the gender today. I wanted to surprise Justin with lunch before we went.

He was in the office, working hard, and he deserved a little surprise. I came to the office, to see his assistant was on lunch break. I saw a sign on Justin’s office door that said ‘do not disturb’. I knocked on the door but no one came to answer.

I opened the door and closed it behind me. I made my way into his huge office, until I heard noises outside from the room; I went in not prepared to see Justin plowing a girl on his desk. I let out a gasp, and the lunch fell to the ground.

I was confused, he was cheating on me, all this time. I made myself known. That couldn’t be him. 

Justin turned around to look at me staring at him and this girl fucking.

“Selena?” I whisper. He betrayed me, I am disgusted. How long was this going on for? Is this why he was so busy? I cringe, I just saw the love of my life balls deep in his ex. Selena began to cry, Justin was silent, and I, well I was in shock. 

I couldn’t move. This wasn’t happening to me, not my husband, Justin would never do this to me. He loved me. 

Everything was a lie. Everything, he played me, he made me believe that I was his forever. I spin around out of the office. I hear Justin pull his pants up and chase me but I already make it to the elevator. The door closed severed us apart as I went down to the lobby. I began to break down; I couldn’t believe what was happening. I ignored the receptionist and made my way to Scooter’s office. There I saw everyone, our—his friends and team.

My tear streaked face was a clear indication I found about the affair. The look on their faces told me all I needed to know.

“You”, I point to Scooter. “All of you knew, didn’t you, poor Justin’s pregnant wife. She is too naïve to find out that her husband was fucking his ex. All the signs were there, she even came to stay at our house for a couple of weeks. No one told me anything. All this time, all this time, no one could even tell me. If you were my friends, you would have said something. No if you were people you would have said something. How could you. You told me I couldn’t come on tour, on business trips, for almost two years of his life all because he told you to, so he could have an affair. Do you know what it feels like to give someone everything and get nothing in return? I went through so much alone. All of you are pathetic. Thank you for helping in single handedly ruining my life, what do I get in return. I gave up everything. I wasted five years of my life married to someone who doesn’t even love me. Let me guess he had an affair while we we’re dating too? Wow. Props to you guys for creating your own mini Truman show”, I started clapping.

“Sasha—”, Hailey began. I put my hand up to silence her

“ Save it, You know what’s funny, I didn’t want this but Justin begged me to marry him, begged me to have his kids  None of you contact me, don’t talk to me, don’t mention me, just act like I never existed because Justin already does a great job of that”, I look at all of my former friends faces, some of them looked guilty and the rest of them looked hurt. I felt my vision blur, my dizziness slammed into me. I felt a sharp pain in my back, I was looking up at the ceiling. I heard my name being called. I just wanted to go to sleep.

I woke up to bright lights, I remembered reality as my eyes shot up. I touched my stomach, I felt empty. I knew, I already can tell. I felt tears uncontrollably fall from the ducts.

I screamed for my child, but the nurses tried to calm me down. The doctor came in and told me the news. I heard nothing but white noise.

They asked me if I wanted to hold him. I cried as I held my beautiful boy to my chest, I cried for all of it. I wish he would have been here, I wish my baby would have survived. I couldn’t save him, I was a horrible excuse of a mother. I shouldn’t have yelled and worked myself up. I should have just sucked it up.

Then they took him away from me. I could no longer breathe. How many times would I go through this alone. 

I was sedated. I woke up to Justin holding my hand. I felt dead, I didn’t even want to touch him. He squeezed my lifeless hand.

I didn’t cry this time. I couldn’t anymore. I felt hallow. 

I starred at the wall, was I not good enough? Why did he marry me if he wanted Selena? 

“Sasha?” he waited to hear a response. I didn’t answer. 

I barely acknowledged him. 

“Sasha”, I couldn’t answer him.

“Baby”, nothing moved. I felt dead inside.

I was repulsed by myself, how could I let this happen.

“Let me explain”, Justin was basically talking to the wall.

Before he could begin, I interrupted his rehearsed speech. “Why?” I simply ask.

Justin was speechless. I had unshed tears in my eyes. Hadn’t I done enough crying?

“Because I’m selfish, I love her, I tried to move on and I met you. You were different. You fell in love with me for me. I was in love with you. I knew how much you love me. You love me more than Selena ever did but I loved her, and she only loves herself, she will never be in love with me. So I married you. Our affair was always on and off, I love you Sasha, I really do but I love her too . You’re my best friend. You would always be there for me. I took it for granted. I’m sorry, please forgive me”.

I silently cried. “How long”,

“Six months after we started dating”, he bows his head.

“You went back to her after each time I miscarried”, I asked. He nodded. 

“When didn’t you fuck her? Please tell me you didn’t on our wedding day” I said as a joke. His silence is the only confirmation I needed.

“Were you ever in love with me?” I wipe the tears from my eyes. Why put someone through this pain. I internalized everything. How was I so blind? How come I wanted to die.

“What did I do wrong?” I beg him to answer me.

“Nothing, you didn’t do anything wrong” His hand tries to grab mine but I flinch away from him. “Sasha, please let—”

“No, you had five years to explain. I don’t want to hear it”, I yell through my blurry eyes. “Justin, do you even love me anymore?” I turn to look at him while he sits on the hospital chair.

“Of course I love you, I—”. I look into his eyes and see anything but love.

“It is a yes or no question”, if he wanted to say yes, he would have.

Justin bows his head. My chest swells in pain. I wasn’t enough for him. I am not enough for anybody. No one loves me, not even the person who vowed to love me till death do us apart. 

“Where do we go from here, what do you want?” I sniffle, can we get past this? We can go to a therapist. Get some help. Right?

“A divorce”, Justin whispers. I gasp. I look up to see if I heard him right. The answer is the guilt I see in his eyes and his tear streaked face.

I break down and turn away from him, I can’t do this anymore. Does he hate me that much? I hear his footsteps walk away from me. He left me alone. He was always good at that.

I was discharged the next day. Justin came to pick me up. We didn’t say a word to one another.

I was depressed. I felt worthless, unlovable, disgusting, stupid, ugly, I hated myself again. No one was going to pull me out of it this time.

As we got to our- his house, I wrapped myself in the comforter and swallowed myself in bed. I cried and cried until I couldn’t anymore. Justin tried to talk to me but I couldn’t even look at him, I lost his child again, no wonder he didn’t love me anymore.

Selena would be a good mother, she was probably fertile. 

I didn’t get out bed until I had to pee, Justin fought with me to eat but I just cried more until he left me alone. Patty visited me, tried to talk to me but I just gave her soft smiles as she rubbed my back and helped me bathe. 

Hailey, Za, and Khalil came to say hi but I barely talked to them, as they apologized for what happened.

“It wasn’t your fault, I shouldn’t have gotten mad, it was my responsibility to protect him, I couldn’t” I looked in their eyes and they looked scared and guilty still.

They eventually left the room, I had heard them talking to Justin.

I heard Hailey crying about how thin I was.

I just went back to sleep, I didn’t care. 

Justin would try to coax me out of it, but I didn’t trust him anymore. I wanted to forget.

He came into our room and laid down next to me. He whispered he was sorry. I heard it so many times from him. I turned to face him, snuggled into his side, as he wrapped me tightly with his arms. I broke down crying into his neck. This was the first time I had human interaction it weeks.

I started kissing his neck. Justin lightly pushed me away. It hurt me so much for him to reject me like that.

“Make me forget please, I don’t want to be here, please” I cried and Justin kissed me.

“Don’t you ever say that” He scolded me. I nodded.

“Fuck me, please”.

He ripped my panties in half and lifted me toward his face as he sat me on his tongue. I cried out in pleasure as he suck my clit in between his mouth, I realized home much I missed him. I buckled my hips each time his began to change the motion and pressure with the pad of his tongue. I was almost there until he pulled me off of his face and lifte me on his hips. I took his hard cock and placed it at my entrance, he pistoled inside me slowly, torturing me. I met his slowed rhythm. 

“Harder” I begged into his ear.

He pounded into me reaching my cervix. I moaned each time he hit so deep inside of me. He tried to control his rhythm but I felt him nearing the edge as his thrusting sped up I felt him thrust into me one last time as his cum shot inside of me. I got up from the bed and finally took a shower.

I left a piece of myself in that room, I had to cos if I didn’t I would never let myself heal. I had to leave. I packed a bag while Justin fell asleep and left toward the nearest hotel.

I sat across from Justin with our—his lawyers present.

“Sasha take the money” Justin pleads. I shake my head. I wanted nothing from him.

I give him a watery smile. Deep down I know I will never be the same after what he has done.

“This divorce is final, filed under irreconcilable differences, no pre-nuptial agreement, and no alimony, one car and her wardrobe is all she gets to keep. The rest is yours Justin” Justin’s lawyer completes the divorce.

“You’re not taking Esther?” Justin asks.

“You love the dog”, I smile sadly. I couldn’t take his dog. I would be reminded of how I was never good enough. I just wanted to forget.

“How have you been?” Justin tries to coax me but hearing his voice makes it real. I rise from the table, so does Justin. I took one for the team. They all knew the real reason why this divorce was happening, but I decided not to tarnish Justin’s name. I am still in love with him. You don’t stop.

I wipe my tears. I hug Justin and kiss him for the last time on his lips.

“Good bye Justin”, I walk out before I beg him to take me back. He doesn’t love you, he never did and he never will the voice in my head shouts at me. 

He didn’t even fight for me

Justin’s POV

“Sasha could have taken all your money”, my lawyer tries to brighten up.

“Yeah, I know, doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty”, I said. My conscious was hanging on a thread. Now more than ever did I realize that I didn’t deserve Sasha; she agreed to everything, didn’t even take a cent of mine, and only walked away because I told her to.

She was gone forever. Why did I feel like I just made the biggest mistake of my life. 

I punch the wall bruising my knuckles. 

“Justin you okay?” I hear my lawyers ask. 

“I don’t know” I fell my eyes well up with tears. Fuck.

Sasha’s POV

4 years later……

“Jia get back here now”, my three year old daughter was a ball of energy. Once I gave my baby the bubbles, Jia submerged into the water and let me wash her.

Once we both finished getting ready for the day we began to eat breakfast.

“Momma, can I come with you, I don’t want to go to day care today?” my daughter asked while eating her pancakes. This was becoming a ritual. I sighed. 

“Why not, sweets”, I smile.

“Because everyone still acts like a baby and they are nasty” she responded, I swear I had 16 year old sometimes.

“Okay baby, you can come watch mommy today, but tomorrow you go back”

Jia seemed satisfied with the deal for now, and continued to eat her breakfast.

Jia was Justin’s. She was my hope, my light. I thought I was gonna loose her too. I didn’t tell anyone because I was afraid I would loose her too.

She was perfect, everything I had ever asked for.

Jia had my lips but Justin’s eyes and nose. She was beautiful. Jia had gold curly hair that was down to the middle of her back. She looked more like Justin, it was obvious she was his, just compare his baby photos with hers, it was impossible not to see the resemblance.

I found out I was pregnant once I moved to Miami.

I cried. I wanted Jia to have a father, I wanted a family. I was so hurt, he deserved to know. I called but Selena answered, for some reason, I always thought he would come back to me, that we still had a chance to save us. But I was wrong. I quickly hung up and decided to never contact him again.

I still kept my job as a music producer. I worked on songs for Beyoncé, Drake, Cardi B, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj just to name a few. I loved making beats, and of course Jia was always there with me, grabbing the hearts of many people who came to work with me.

I created a pseudo- name, Saana Leif, my mother’s name.

I became successful on my own, without Justin’s name, without his money.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t love him, how couldn’t I. He gave me a glimpse into his life, lied to me, and made me believe every word. Then he took it away from me, telling me he didn’t love me anymore because he never did. I should hate him but I was idiotic. I was a glutton for pain.

Jia Leif was my life, was my love. I felt bad for keeping her away from him. He didn’t love me, so why would he want my daughter. It was constantly a thought that always resurfaced. He had cheated on me, lied to me for five years. I became suicidal. 

My daughter had brought some of me back, and I promised to never let my daughter feel that pain Justin brought me. My wonderful, innocent baby girl didn’t need a sometimes father as he was a sometimes husband.

I sighed and finished cleaning the kitchen.

As I went into the studio carrying Jia on my hip, I went about my business and situated Jia with a coloring book.

I heard the door open and I looked up to see three familiar faces: Khalil, Za,  and Hailey.

How did they find me, I made sure no one could trace me. 

Hailey’s POV

“Sasha?” I couldn’t believe I saw my former best friend. She looked different. She looked warm but sure if the moment presented itself she would rip someone a new asshole. She had her long curly hair cut in a sleek tape, her nose pierced on the nostril and septum, and a sleeve of tattoos. She was dressed in tight skirt with a matching top that showed her pierced belly button, showing off her assets. She looked confident. She had to be at least, 27, she was always younger than everyone else.

She didn’t look like Sasha anymore. 

Sasha sat there frozen, her body stiffened.

She looked at us like her mouth was paralyzed, unable to talk.

“Mommy, I’m thirsty”, a child-like voice came out of the room. I saw a little girl who looked familiar. She stared at us with confusion.

“Mommy who are those people?” she whispered loud enough so that I could hear.

Sasha lightly laughed at her daughter’s secretive attempt.

“Baby, these are my friends from when I was younger”, Sasha said to her daughter.

“When you were my age Momma?” she cocked her head.

“Not quite sweets. Well are you gonna say hi to my friends”, Sasha asked her shy daughter. She hid in the crook of her mother’s neck.

“Why are you acting shy for baby? I promise they won’t bite”, she tried to coax her daughter to break the ice. The tension was unbearable.

The little girl slowly came from the safety net of her mother and waved her hand at us in the room.

“What’s your name gorgeous?” I smiled at the baby.

“Jia B. Leif”, she said a soft voice.

“Well you can call me Hailey or Hails”, Jia nodded. Jia looked at Za and Khalil 

“Are you mommy’s brothers cos you have the same color?” Sasha laughed at her child’s curiosity.

“No baby, do you remember when I told just because people look similar doesn’t mean they are related”, Jia nodded at her mother.

“What’s your names?” Jia looked up the two men expectantly. She tugged on Za’s shirt to lift her up. Za silently asked Sasha for her permission. Sasha nodded and he proceeded to lift Jia in his arms.

“You can call me Za”, Za smiled at his old friend’s kid.

“This is Khalil”, Za introduced.

“What’s up baby”, Khalil asked the little girl.

“I’m not a baby”, Jia had as much sass as her mother did, and probably more. Sasha rolled her eyes.

“Jujube, no sass, be nice”, Jia rolled her eyes just like her mother did a second ago and groaned. Sasha shook her head.

“Can you please put me down?” she asked Za, so Za did.

“Bye, Bye!” Jia ran to her mom.

“I’ll get you a capri sun, how does that sound sweets?” Jia nodded.

“Can you please color and behave while mommy works?” Sasha asked her daughter. Jia nodded and went back into the room she came from.

“She is gorgeous Sasha”, Khalil offered

“How did you find me?” Sasha whispered. She had unshed tears. She looked flustered. Almost like a fragile bird. She looked like she was about to run. She looked at the door waiting for Justin to come in any minute. He didn’t come with us this time around.

“Hey, don’t cry, he is not here with us”, I went to comfort her.

“We missed you”, Khalil rubbed her back.

Sasha was unresponsive. “I missed you guys too”, she said she let out a breath she was holding in.

I hugged her tightly to me as I became choked up. We thought she was gone, what Justin did, what we all helped him do was so fucked up and I felt so ashamed for so long for ruining someone’s world. I truly missed her. She was my best friend. I let go of our hug.

“Oh my god Hailey I missed you so much” Sasha said as I pulled away. “How are Ry and Chaz?” she asked with a watery smile.

“Good, everything is fine, they finally moved out to LA for their own projects”, Za said. She laughed. I wiped the tears from her eyes with a giggle.

“That’s good, you guys look good, unlike me, and I’m still an emotional mess.” She shook her head.

I scoffed. “Sash, you look sexy as hell”. I tell her the truth.

She blushed at the compliment.

“So I’m assuming y’all working on Khalil’s next album”, we all nodded.

“I’m so proud of you, all of you”, she smiled.

“Sash”, she grimaced at the nickname, it was a nickname Justin gave her. “If it helps we didn’t know; I had no idea that you were the producer. I think I speak for us all when I say we’re sorry. Deeply sorry we hurt you” Khalil rubbed her shoulder.

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry I put you guys between us. I was mad and angry and heartbroken, he asked you guys to not say anything because you’re his friends, I get it. I forgave you guys a long time ago”

“But we were your friends too”,  I whisper, feeling guilty.

“That may be but Justin is your best friend, I know what his management did, team, y’all did. You protected his public image. No matter how it affected me. He didn’t love me anymore, I don’t think he ever did”, Sasha grimaced at her ex-husband.

“So you have a daughter now”, Za smiled, it was more a statement then a question. Sasha hesitantly nodded.

“You look happy, who’s the lucky guy?” Khalil asked innocently.

Sasha laughed humorlessly, “There is no one”, she sadly smiled.

I put two and two together. She hadn’t been with someone since Justin. Jia looked like Justin. Her initials were similar to Justin’s JBL. I felt like a conspiracy theorist.

“She is his”, I stated.

Sasha looked at us with unshed tears. Her silence was my confirmation.

“You can’t tell him, I tried, I picked up my phone so many times, but he told me he didn’t love me anymore. She was conceived in heartbreak, and she shouldn’t know that. She was the only thing that saved me from myself. I wanted to die, I wanted to kill myself. When I found out I cried, abortion was an option but I knew I could never follow through with it after everything, I was selfish, it was my last chance to have a baby. I didn’t want them to make me get one if I told, if I told his management they would make me get one, or he would be tied with me forever. I love him that will never stop, but I’m not vindictive, he was so unhappy with me. I see him from afar; I’ve made peace with it. He is so happy without me, with Selena, they even got engaged. I had to protect my baby, myself from him. He hurt me, I just, it’s hard to get over what he did, all I have is my baby girl. I lost everyone once Justin left me, please don’t let him take her away from me too”, Sasha was full blown sobbing. This was probably her worst nightmare.

Za and Khalil went to comfort her, she was definitely spent. Za wiped her tears.

“We’re not going to tell anyone”, Za promises.

Khalil rubbed her back. “I’m sorry, I told you I’m not like that girl you first met; I was lost, I was hurt. You guys have brought back so much—” Sasha wiped her tears.

“How is he?” Sasha was afraid to ask.

“Well he is definitely not engaged to Selena”, I chuckled lightly.

“He hadn’t spoken to her in 2 years actually”, I finish.

“Oh”, Sasha said surprisingly.

“But he is doing okay, he is no longer the CEO, he dropped down, now he is just the founder of the company”, Za smiles.

“He spends a lot of time with Esther, travels, makes music from time to time, goes to church now”, I laugh.

“He was miserable for a while, almost overdosed, he still smokes, but he has gotten better about it the other stuff. I think he has been celibate for three years now. I haven’t seen him with a girl besides his friends and family”, I note.

“Did Selena leave him?” Sasha asked.

We all hesitantly nodded. I saw the hope leave her eyes.

“Well enough about this, let’s get started on the album”, she smiled at us.

Before I knew it, it was just like all those years ago when she would help Justin with his beats in the studio back in the day. I missed my best friend, it was good to see her. I owed it to her. I felt responsible. She would always have a friend in me.

Justin’s POV

I was at Khalil’s album release party as I bopped to the beats.

I knew this style, I had been repeating all night that whoever created them were a fucking genius, but I couldn’t put a finger on who Khalil worked with.

I heard old school mixed in with 90’s styled beats and R&B. Man, whoever made this deserved a Grammy.

“Leel, who did the beats on the album, I never asked but goddamn, they’re fuckin’ sick”, I said with a laugh.

“a ghost writer, they made every track on the record, we kept on sending back material and so forth, and whoever it was came up with something magic”, Khalil smiled. He’d been acting weird ever since coming back from Miami. All my friends were acting fucking weird. Maybe it was the weed. 

“Can I hit the ghost writer up, I want to make a few songs with this kind of talent”, I begged.

“Yeah sure”, Khalil was hesitant, “Do you want something to eat, J”, he changed the subject. 

“Sure man” I crossed my eyebrows in confusion. I watched him as he made his way to the food table, he went to grab Za and whispered something into Za’s ear as he simply nodded and passed the information on to Hailey. Something was up.

As I got closer to the conversation I heard her name.

“We can’t let Justin know that Sasha was put on the album. He can’t know, we helped him keep his secret and we owe it to her to keep hers”, Hailey said to both of them.

They know where Sasha is. I felt a twinge of pain twist in my heart.

“You know where Sasha is”, my friends turned around with guilty faces.

“And you weren’t going to tell me”, I stated, I obviously was hurt by the betrayal of my friends.

“She doesn’t want you to know where she is”, I nodded, I fucked her up man. She hated me.

“How is she”, I had to ask, sorrow filled my heart, I made the biggest mistake of my life, letting her leave, giving up on her.

No one answered my question. I clenched my jaw.

“She is doing okay, she is getting better; she is still hurt about what happened. She’s changed, she doesn’t look like she used to”, Hailey finally said for everyone.

I nodded. “She is in Miami”, my friends nodded

“Can I see her”, I said in a voice so gentle that it could be shattered any second; I probably looked like I was on the verge of break a down. I felt my eyes tear.

I needed to see her again, I couldn’t take no for an answer this time.

I need my girl back

Sasha’s POV

I walked into the Foutaine Bleu and made my way up to the front entrance with Jia sleeping in the crook of my neck.

I saw Hailey near the front desk and smiled brightly at her.

As both of us talked about what we were both up to, we rode the elevator to the suite. Hailey seemed nervous. Was she okay?

As they made our way to the penthouse suite, Hailey slid the key card, to be welcomed by many people; I saw Patty, Jeremy, Bruce, Diane, even Ryan and Chaz. I saw Hailey biting her lip, Khalil looking at me with a comforting smile. Za grabbed me into hug.

“You told him”, I paled.

I felt the tears start to pool, I wanted a hole to swallow me; I had already felt Justin was in the room somewhere.

“We told him where you were, we didn’t tell him he had a little girl”, I nodded. 

I was fucked.

This was gonna blow up in their faces; I was going to get hurt. I felt Jia wake up. Jia recognized Hailey immediately, and wanted to get down from my arms.

I let go of my daughter so she could hug Hailey.

“Sasha?” Patty had unshed tears. I was very close to her way back when. She was like a mother to me, while Bruce and Diane were basically my grandparents, we had all hugged tightly, they seemed afraid that they wouldn’t see me for another four years if they let go.

I had missed my family; I had built strong relationships with each of them. I fled away knowing they would choose Justin over me, if I never had Jia; I always feared that I wouldn’t be strong enough to move on from what had happened.

I cried at our impromptu reunion.

I saw Jazzy and Jaxon, 16 and 15 years old. Jax was looking more like his older brother every day, and Jazzy, my god was she beautiful. Jeremy had opened his arms wide for me. Jeremy had hugged me tight, kissing my forehead, wiping the tears that shed from my face.

I looked at two familiar faces, as I recognized Ryan and Chaz I grabbed on to them for dear life.

I thought I wouldn’t see these people for the rest of my life, and it wasn’t until I saw them I knew how much pain it caused them when I cut them out of my life.

Hailey brought Jia to me while I cried.

“Mommy, why are you crying” Jia asked, I was so overwhelmed.

“I’m just really happy baby”, I laughed, my daughter’s worry dissipated “I haven’t seen these people for a while now”, Jia hid into my neck.

“Can you say hello to them, baby”, my family in-laws had gasped at her.

“She is beautiful, sweets”, Bruce said to me.

“Momma, you have the same nick name as me”, Jia giggled.

Jia was obviously Justin’s child, any one blind could tell.

“Can I hold her”, Patty cried, I nodded, I felt guilt wash through me, but they had understood what had happened between Justin and I.

Jia was shy depending on who was with her, but apparently she had a natural indication, she openly embraced Patty, Jeremy, Bruce and Diane like she knew them all her life. She was basked in the attention all the adults were paying her.

I scanned the room waiting to see Justin face, I was nervous, scared, and terrified. I felt myself panic, I wanted to run. I let some tears fall down my face. I wasn’t strong enough to prepare myself.

I took a seat by the couch to gather my thoughts, I didn’t want Justin to see me like this, I just desperately wanted to run away.

Hailey looked over at me, she gave me a warm smile; she came to me and grabbed my hand. I grasped onto her hand for dear life. I wasn’t ready for what was about to happen, what I was about to feel.

“It’s okay Sasha, we didn’t tell him about Jia, but we told him about you. I’m sorry, he came up behind us when we were talking; he just wanted to talk to you”, I exhaled in relief.

“Where is he?”

“He wanted us to bring you to him, he figured you didn’t want anyone to see the reunion between the two of you”, I nodded.

Hailey led me to Justin’s room; Hailey stopped at the door and went back to the living room, leaving me to open the door.

I opened the door to see the one person I swore I’d never see again.

I closed the door behind me, staring into his chocolate eyes.

“Hello, Sasha”. I swallowed.

“Jay”, I whispered.

“I missed you—”, before Justin could continue I whimpered and shook my head.

“You don’t get to say that to me”, I scolded.

“You’re right”, Justin ended.

“You wanted the divorce, you lied, cheated—no, you betrayed me, you beyond cheated Justin, don’t you realize what you did. I wanted to die, you made me feel that way. I had to move on, you wanted the divorce, you made me waste—you made me believe you loved me—”

“I did love you, I still love you”, Justin cut me off.

“Save it Justin, you only loved yourself”, tears streamed from my eyes.

Justin always knew how to break me, no matter how confident I was, how tough, or how much of a bitch I was, Justin would always bring out the soft side of me.

“You don’t get it do you, you will always be apart me, I will always love you, some nights I’d cry myself to sleep to only wake up to remember that the person I love never loved me. So whatever you want or have to say, I’ll forgive you because of what I feel but I can’t go through what you put me through again, I have to be strong, I have a—I have a daughter, her name is Jia”.

“Congratulations, Sasha”, Justin sighed, he was too late, he thought.

I knew what he must have been thinking. I scoffed.

“It’s not what you think”, I hugged myself; I was scared for his reaction.

“I get it, you moved on—”

“I’ve only been with one man my whole entire life, Justin. You’ve ruined me for any other guy”; Justin’s face was laced with pain, heartbreak, and happiness.

“Justin, she is yours”, I let my tears fall.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Justin. You wanted the divorce, you said you weren’t in love with me; I thought why would you love half of me. I tried calling you, Selena picked up. I did what I thought was best, I wanted you to be happy”. I cried.

Justin eyes were red, he sat on the bed looking into his hands, and he shook.

“It’s okay, I get it.” Justin whispered.

I sat next to him.

“I have scrap books, videos, I have everything from her first words to first steps. You know if I ever saw you again” I hesitantly put my hand on his shoulder.

Justin looked at me, god I missed him. He looked different, he was rocking the man bun now and a clean shaven goatee.

“You got tattoos” Justin smiled at me.

I nodded. I lifted up my shirt, and it revealed Roman numeral numbers. Justin touched them with his fingers and smiled.

“My birthday”, he stated. Justin caressed my face as I closed my eyes to enjoy the warmth.

I felt his lips against my jaw as he made his way to my lips.

I was putty in his hands; I always submitted to him, whatever he did, I let him. I groaned as he bit my lip, he whispered my name into my mouth as he lifted me up into his lap.

I hadn’t had sex since Jia was conceived, four years was a long time.

Justin gave me one last sensual kiss.

I blushed red, I mumbled out a sorry. How embarrassing. 

“You’re fine” Justin molded my hand into his.

“I shouldn’t have done that, Selena and all that” I bowed my head in shame. Not believing they haven’t spoke to one another in a couple of years.

“I haven’t spoken to her in three years, Sasha”. he scooted closer to me.

“I just can’t let you back in” I inched away from him.

“I made a mistake, I want you, only you, and I’m deeply in love with you Sasha, that won’t ever change.”

“A mistake is forgetting the eggs at the store, what you did was… I’m ready to move past it Justin, but we have to talk, heal, and trust one another again. I’m not ready to jump back into anything with you at the moment, but I’ll be your friend”

“A friend that I can kiss” Justin cheekily smiled; he came closer to me.

I stopped him at arms distance. “We’ll see”.

“Jia is here with me, she is with your family”, Justin breathed.

“You have to promise me you won’t let what ever happens between us get in the way of your relationship with her. If you tell her you’re her Dad, you are her Dad forever, you will gain your rights as her father, I’ll revise them, but you have to love her, take care of her, be there for her, pay attention to her. Please tell me you’ll be her Dad and not her sperm donor, because if you fuck up, you will never see me again nor her. Is that understood Justin” I searched his eyes.

“Momma bear came out with claws” Justin laughed. I didn’t, I meant business.

“I promise, Sasha” Justin gave me his word.

I smiled.

I led Justin to our daughter.

She was on her grandfather’s lap telling him a story about preschool.

Jia’s life was about to change.

“Baby, can you come here for a second”, Jia turned to me with a bright face.

Justin saw his daughter for the first time. “I love her already Sasha, how is that possible” he whispered low enough only for me to hear.

“I know, J” I smiled

“She looks just like me”

“Momma, Momma, ‘Justin Bieber’ is behind you”, Jia said loudly.

Everyone laughed at Jia’s comment. Justin probably already decided to make Jia a daddy’s girl by the time he was done with her. I had competition now. 

“Yes baby, I know do you want to meet him”, Jia nodded her;  I grabbed her tiny hand as Justin bent down to greet Jia.

“Hello gorgeous”, Justin said to his daughter as tears fell from his eyes.

“Why is you crying, do I make you sad”, Jia asked.

Justin shook his head, “No sweetheart, you make me really happy”, Justin embraced Jia into his arms as he broke down crying with Jia in his arms. I felt so much love and pain at once, it was draining.

“It okay”, Jia comforted Justin.

Jia pulled away from Justin and wiped away his tears away with her tiny fingers.

“When I cry mommy gives me the best kisses and it makes me feel better”, Jia explained to him. Justin laughed at Jia.

“Is that right, baby”, Justin giggled at his daughter.

Jia nodded. “I’m not a baby, my name is Jia B Leif” Justin smiled at her initials. He understood the hyphen.

“Okay, Jia, can I tell you something”, Jia nodded at her favorite singer.

“I’m your daddy”, Jia opened with bright eyes. She looked at me to confirm what he said was true, I gave the kid a nod.

“Really, I can call you Daddy?” Justin nodded at his daughter.

“Daddy, I missed you, where were you, how come you weren’t with us?” Jia had all of these questions she wanted to ask.

“I was away, baby, I’m here now”, Jia nodded at his answer.

“Mommy does this mean we’re rich”, I laughed; at least she knew her priorities.

“I guess so, baby” I smiled at her.

It was a heartfelt moment between Justin and his daughter. I had tears in my eyes, guilt and sorrow washed inside of me. Patty rubbed my shoulder to console me. As a mother I had to make choices to protect my daughter, that what was what mothers did.

I held onto Patty’s hand, I realized that my life was going to change, for worse or for better, and yet  I was happy for Jia, everything that had happened didn’t vanish, anger and hurt still resided within me but I was ready to move on and let go, I wanted closure. That was the best thing for me; as for Jia, she needed her father.

Justin’s POV

I was taken away by the life I had made; I wished I was there for her birth, her first words, and her first steps. I wanted it all, I desperately wanted to know everything about Jia. She was beautiful, she was a spitting image of me except for the fact she was half black; it was crazy at how she inherited most of my features, I wondered if my next child would look like Sasha, but I stopped myself from thinking ahead.

I didn’t know where I stood with Sasha, I wanted to be the man she wanted, I wanted to be the only one that made her feel a certain way, and I would spend the rest of my life making up for my mistakes.

Jia was asleep in my arms, I watched her suck on her thumb, and flutter her thick long eyelashes. She already had me wrapped around her pinky finger, just by her giggle or the way she called me Daddy.

I looked at my ex wife, sound asleep as well, she looked younger as she slept.

We looked like a family. I knew we had to resolve a lot together as a couple, that was expected, but I wasn’t expecting my Sasha to act so vulnerable, I knew her inside and out, she had become so sad and broken, yet fierce and protective. I could not believe after all I had done to her, she still found a place for me in her heart.

My last thought before I drifted into a peaceful sleep, I realized that I didn’t deserve Sasha, I never did. I was so grateful that I could have my second chance, this time around I would make it right, no matter what it took.

Pretty Lies - Part Three

Originally posted by jungkooz

Genre: Angst

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five // Part Six // Part Seven

Word Count: 1,101

Summary: You knew the truth, but still clung onto the pretty lies he told you.

You knew something was seriously wrong when you woke up with a killer headache. With fuzzy memories of the previous night, you peeled back your blankets and lumbered over to the bathroom. 

The sight that greeted you was not pretty.

Your eyes were swollen and puffy, probably from crying. Your usual bright eyes seemed dull and dreary with the black circles lining them. Actually, your whole appearance just screamed ‘heartbroken’. 

Sighing, you decided a hot shower was needed. Flipping on the water, you slowly undressed and jumped into the water- letting the water soothe your muscles. 

‘What even happened last night?’ you pondered, dumping some shampoo into your hands before starting to lather it into your hair. ‘God, this is why I need to stop drinking. Namjoon would be so pissed if he found out.’

Your hands stilled as a memory flashed before your eyes. 

Namjoon crashed through the front door, eyes frantically searching for you. You were so relieved that he was finally here, trying to fend off a random drunk stranger. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here and have some real fun.” You grimaced at the man’s suggestion. The bar counter was digging into your back as you tried to put as much distance between the stranger and you, which was very hard considering that he was looming over you and trapping you between him and the counter.

You attempted to shift around the man to get to Namjoon, when his hand shot out and captured your wrist. “Don’t run away when I’m talking to you!” Fear shot through you as he tightened his grip on you. 

Before the man could do anything else to you, he was pulled back and Namjoon was suddenly shielding you. 

“Back off,” he barked at the drunk man and then turned to yell at the bartender.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, panic coursing through your body. So you were at the bar last night and Namjoon came to get you. But how did he know to come get you? 

You quickly finished your shower and prepared yourself to face the day. Chewing away at your bottom lip, you opened your phone to see if you had called Namjoon, eyes widening at what you found.

While you were wasted, you had called Jungkook twelve times- each one going straight to voicemail. You let out a groan as another memory popped into your head.

“Sorry, the caller you are trying to reach is currently unavailable.” You let out a loud groan as the call went straight to voicemail. It had been the tenth time you had tried calling Jungkook and he still hadn’t been able to pick up.

“Hey, are you okay? Did you get into an accident? Why aren’t you picking up? Call me back, please,” you whined into the phone, hoping that he would check his voicemail. 

Downing another drink, you slouched over the counter, staring expectantly at your phone. Just one text explaining where he was would be enough to ease you. You didn’t even need him to call or apologize, just knowing his whereabouts was enough. 

Your fingers flew across the keyboard and composed a sloppy message asking where he was. The drinks were finally getting to you and you could feel a haze blanket your vision. You kept thinking you could see Jungkook in the edge of your vision, but every time you turned to check it wasn’t him.

Dialing Jungkook’s number again, you listened to the rings and begged that he would pick up. After another two fruitless efforts, you gave in and called Namjoon to rant. 

Namjoon was always there to keep the boys in check so maybe he’d know where Jungkook was. You heard the call connect and felt relieved and angry at how quickly he had responded. Why couldn’t Jungkook do that for you? Why did Jungkook have to keep lying to you and leaving you alone?

All your thoughts of checking on where Jungkook had gone vanished as your frustration at Jungkook peaked. 

“Namjoon,” you started, barely registering how badly you were slurring. Your lips didn’t move as fast or in the way you wanted them to, having developed their own mind once the harsh liquor had started passing your lips. “I’m so done.”

You blinked rapidly as the memory subsided, leaving you with the same bitter feeling you had while drinking last night. Where was Jungkook last night?

Tapping on Jungkook’s contact, you called him and waited for the call to connect. Much to your surprise, Jungkook actually picked up.

“Hello?” he mumbled, his voice still heavy with sleepiness. Your eyes wandered over to the clock; 3:14 PM. Jungkook usually got up early in the mornings, even when he didn’t have anything scheduled. He’d always spend as much time possible practicing to better himself so it was unsettling that he was only just getting up.

“Did you just wake up? Where were you last night?” you asked, nervously picking at your nails. 

There was a slight pause, and you could faintly make out the sound of sheets being moved around as Jungkook got up. “Uh, I guess I slept in pretty late. I’ve been pretty tired with how much practice I’ve been doing.”

“Oh alright, how come you didn’t pick up the phone yesterday?” The fact that Jungkook didn’t have an immediate reply worried you. While you had your suspicions, you still wanted to trust Jungkook. He was faithful and he loved you, right?

Before either of you could speak, a sudden voice caught your attention. “Hey, looks like you’re finally up, sleepyhead. Do you have a major hangover? I mean, you drank a lot and after last night I thought you’d never wake up again.” 

Your blood went cold as you realized whose flirtatious voice it was. “Is that Areum? What are you two doing together? Are you not at the dorms?”

“I’m going to have to call you back,” Jungkook frantically cut off, the call ending immediately. You were stunned and reality hit you hard.

Jungkook wasn’t as faithful as you expected him to be.

A small part of you still insisted that there was an explanation, but your ears had heard it all. He wasn’t practicing last night, but instead was spending the night with Areum. You didn’t even want to think about what went down between the two of them.

Tears slid down your cheek as you crawled back into your bed- all thoughts of going out fading away. There was no more turning a blind eye to it- no more denying the facts.

Jungkook didn’t love you anymore.

White Houses | H.S. Mini Fic | Part 5



Word Count 2.8k

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I’ve been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I’m gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lied, wrote my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses

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what happens in ibiza, chapter two

a/n: does anyone even read these author’s notes? probably not lol. as promised, here’s part two with a little bit of smut ;-) i think there will be four parts total but we’ll see how the story goes. you can read chapter 1 here.

warning: smut

Roman wakes up to the sound of waves crashing against the beach, sunlight streaming in through the window, and a beautiful, naked woman curled up against his chest.

And he’s pretty sure this is what heaven is like.

She’s still sleeping. Her arm is draped across his chest and her face is turned toward his, while her long, dark hair is spread out on the pillow behind her head. Her pink lips are slightly open and her chest slowly moves up and down as she breathes. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see her red bikini discarded on the floor. Roman takes a second to appreciate the feeling of her breasts pushed up against his body, before he smiles to himself and remembers what happened last night.

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A Mere Matter of Hatred

Pairing: Liam Payne & Zayn Malik (Ziam)

Genre: Smut

Warning: Explicit Content

Word Count: 3500

Summary: When Liam and Zayn decided to rent an apartment together they didn’t realize that getting along would the hardest part. Despite Liam’s friends blaming their hatred on their undeniable sexual tension Liam thinks otherwise. However, one night when the pair is hanging on their last thread, things take a wild turn of events.

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Seasons (Condition of the Heart) [tsukihinakage]

Title: Seasons (Condition of the Heart)

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Tsukishima/Hinata/Kageyama

HQ Rarepair Week Day 3: Seasons

Status: Complete

Seasons pass, and Tsukishima learns to stop running away. 

It is spring. The Karasuno volleyball team is high on victory, and Tsukishima Kei’s heart breaks a little as he watches Kageyama lift Hinata in his arms and kiss him on the lips.

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Love Notes

Dean is a retired vet just trying to get through his day to day struggles. But when a secret admirer starts slipping notes under his door, he finds himself caught up in a chase that, in the end, may be exactly what he needs.

Rated K for general audiences.

Love notes are one of those things that people get on television and in movies, not in real life, so Dean was pretty surprised when they started showing up under his shop door.

Initially he’d assumed it was a mistake. Someone who’d been in to pick up or drop off their car had dropped it and he hadn’t noticed it till the morning after. So he hadn’t opened it, instead deciding to leave it on the counter in case someone came looking for it. Sealed up in a red envelope, it’d sat for days, Dean eventually forgetting about it as it got covered with receipts and work orders.

Until another one showed up.

This had piqued his curiosity, Dean finally deciding to open them only to find personal versus addressed directly to him.

Mr. Winchester – Sometimes I try to count all your freckles. I never succeed.

Or so had said the second one. The first had been about his eyes, about how green they were, or some such nonsense. At least, that was what Dean had thought of it at first. He scoffed and remembered something about high school, the whole thing making him rather uncomfortable in an embarrassed kind of way. Mostly because he couldn’t imagine who would want to secretly admire someone like him. He was covered in grease and dirt a majority of the time, running a car garage as he did. What was there to see in that?

Plus, there was the whole veteran status, which left him in a state of perpetual after-work drinking, a habit he wasn’t too entirely proud of, but didn’t know how to kick.

Yet the notes kept coming. Regularly actually. Every Wednesday morning. To the point where Dean actually anticipated it, his stomach tightening in apprehension as he’d consider what those words would have to say and what color they’d be wrapped in. Sometimes it was short and sweet, others were maybe a sentence or two, but they were always pleasant. Always nice things.

Things that made him feel good for a minute or two.

Mr. Winchester – You should smile more often.

Mr. Winchester – Your dedication to your job is admirable.

Mr. Winchester – Sometimes you forget to brush your hair. I don’t mind.

Mr. Winchester – Your walk is aesthetically pleasing.

Mr. Winchester – Everything about you is aesthetically pleasing.

The notes were odd, really, but Dean couldn’t help being flattered. The attention put a soft spot in his day, something to look forward to. Something to push away the nightmares and the loneliness for a little while.

Mr. Winchester – You had a smudge of grease under your eye yesterday. I almost wanted to rub it off myself.

Mr. Winchester – I think about you a lot.

Slowly but surely, Dean found himself wanting to discover the culprit, his mind becoming more and more distracted with it all the time. It was apparently someone he saw regularly, likely a few times a week. Maybe someone at the grocery store. Or the gas station. Or who walked by his shop. He was soon watching everyone, foolishly thinking that if he spotted them, he’d just know. But the faces were less distinctive than he’d anticipated and his search began to only frustrate him.

Yet the notes kept coming.

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anonymous asked:

Prompt: kate gets injured and Seth gets all worried

(i’m a terrible person and wrote little to nothing yesterday. but this is what i did finish so yay?) 

It was not uncommon to hear various amounts of grunting coming from what had once been one of Malvado’s storage rooms. After the Queen of Hell had nearly come to town, it had become quite clear that peace was a frail thing and in the middle of a civil turf war of culebras, personal fortification had become as nearly as important as barbed wire and electric fences. Without much prompting, a wine cellar had quickly been outfitted with three weight machines, two treadmills, some free weights, and a floor mat for sparring. Practice weapons were mounted against the wall and perhaps unsurprisingly, Kate Fuller took to the two-handed sword in an instant. When he blew through, it was a common thing to witness the two Fuller siblings clash brilliantly, two steel blades clanging against a heavy long sword.

What was uncommon to hear was various amounts of grunting coming from what had been one of Malvado’s storage rooms at two-thirty in the morning.

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fic: And I’ll Be With You (Or Without.)

and I’ll be with you (or without.)

genre: angst/romance

warnings: mentions of smut and swearing

word count; 2500

excerpt:  They’re a car going at one hundred miles per hour, scorching the road and heading for a wall. Nobody will nudge the brakes and nobody will tell the other to slow down because they’re a crash waiting to happen, and they know it, but the thrill is intoxicating. The debris will scatter aand embed in their hearts but they keep going because the loud reality of attheir dead-end romance is drowned by the desperate screeches and cries of ‘I need you.’

summary: 2012 angst, where they settle for the truth and realise what they have to be now. 

For Koleen (dauntlester​), because she probably wouldn’t shut up about it if I didn’t do this. 

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I’M NOT SCARED ANYMORE [Teen Wolf Pack One-shot] Part 2


First of all – thank you to all of my readers who requested a part two, you were all so kind and lovely and sweet – ugh, it means a lot to me and just made me feel so much better about myself this week :)

You can find part 1 here: x

You lay in the hospital, propped up on some pillows, silent as the psychiatrist sat in a chair beside you.

“Come on, [Y/N], you’ve got to tell me what happened to you, it’s for your own benefit.”

You stayed silent, blankly staring ahead.

You had been in a coma for the past 4 months.

“I don’t remember.” You said solemnly, tears dripping from your eyes.

“Please, I can’t remember, I just want to go home.” You were telling the truth, pleading for some sense of normality.

You couldn’t remember anything.

You remembered school, and blurry faces, but you couldn’t remember anything from your accident, only that it bought a sense of overwhelming fear over you. The psychiatrist sighed, and she stood up, probably leaving to call the doctor.

“[Y/N], we’re going to bring in some people that were with you when you were brought in from your accident, okay?” The psychiatrist placed a hand on your arm, and you jolted with wide eyes, nodding.

The psychiatrist walked out of the room, shutting the door behind you, giving you some time to think.

Again, you jumped as the door opened, and two boys walked in, two boys that you recognised.

“Stiles, Liam.” You breathed a sigh of relief, tears burning in the corner of your eyes.

“You remember us?” Liam asked, surprised, and you nodded weakly. Of course you remembered them, you remembered them and… and - You couldn’t remember the others.

“I-I-I don’t remember the others.” You stuttered, bringing a hand up to rub your eyes.

“I’m such an idiot! Why can’t I remember!” You whined, placing your head in your hands, shaking your head.

Suddenly you were surrounded in warmth, and you blinked, removing your hands from your face, inhaling Stile’s cologne.

You shook in his arms, finally remembering someone from a week of being surrounded by strangers prodding at your mind and asking questions that you didn’t know the answer to.

You looked over at Liam, who was standing next to your bed awkwardly, and gestured him over to join the hug.

Liam wrapped an arm around you, and you sniffled, content in between your two friends.

The three of you chatted for hours, the boys catching you up on what you had missed at school, but every time they mentioned someone you didn’t know, like ‘Scott’ or ‘Lydia’ you would clench your hospital sheets between tight fists, knuckles white as you flashed a sheepish glance away from their sympathetic gazes.

After confirming that you remembered everything supernatural, they explained that everything had been pretty quiet for the moment, but advised you to watch out.

It had been another week, and Stiles & Liam had visited you every day, much to your amusement they bought you cute gifts and fought for your attention.

Sometimes they’d bring other friends, like Scott or Kira, Lydia and Malia, spending time with them brought back some memories, but you still were close to tears when you saw them, continuously apologising when you assumed something about them that wasn’t right, or if you got their birthday wrong when they quizzed you, or if you saw even a slight hint of discomfort cross their face.

All of them were adapting to this new, more emotional side of you, they were no longer treating you like a ticking bomb, but more coddling you, showing you the affection that you avoided for so long.

There had been a question that had been weighing on your chest, and you messed with your hands, tension piling in the pit of your gut.

Why hasn’t my family visited me since I woke up?” You asked, and the air seemed to still, as Stiles mouth fell open in surprise and Liam’s eyes flashed with sadness.

You waited for an answer, and the longer you waited, the more your heart stuttered in panic. You shook your head, bottom lip trembling.

“Please.” You whispered, clenching your jaw, eyes wide.

“[Y/N], you - you forgot?…” Stiles trailed off, and you shook your head again, bringing a hand up to your mouth as tears burned your eyes.

“Stiles, tell me their at home. Tell me something’s stopped them from seeing me. Tell me that they’re still here.” You cried, pleading.

Out of all the memories you could of lost, out of all the pain you’ve been dealt, you forgot that your family was dead. Maybe it was your subconsciousness screaming at you to let go, maybe some internal force within wanted that memory to stay buried and forgotten, maybe instead of feeling that burden, feeling nothing was better.

“They’re gone, [Y/N], they died in a car crash a year and a half ago.” Liam whispered, and as soon as they saw you break, they stood up to comfort you.

You shook your head, sobbing, chest shaking as you tried your best to shuffle away from them on the bed.

“Go.” You managed to command through your cries.

“[Y/N]…” Liam and Stiles spoke at the same time, and you glared at them through your tears.

“Please! Get out!” You sobbed, pointing at the door, sticking your head in your arms until you heard the pattering of feet and the door slam shut.

You fell backwards, staring upwards, and just cried.

You cried because you didn’t understand.

You didn’t understand why everything was against you, even your own body wouldn’t co-operate with you.

You cried because you had the right to – through all the shit that you’d been through, through the pain and the loss, and the fact that you’d died twice.

After a while you stopped crying, and you just lay there, staring at the roof. It was quiet, apart from the sound of voices yelling and carts rolling through the hallways. You inhaled deeply, before exhaling and closing your eyes. On top of the sadness and stress that was manifesting inside of you, you felt like crap after snapping at the two boys that had gone out of their way to take care of you.

You rolled to the side, facing away from the door, pulling the blanket up to your neck, hoping to find some sort of inner peace, at least for a little while.

The next day the boys came again, they greeted you with smiles and a box of chocolates, and spoke nothing of the conversation from yesterday. This time you were hanging off the edge of the bed, watching them squabble about some sort of video game when you interrupted, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ears.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you guys yesterday, like that.. uh- the truth is, through the whole week, with each day that passed, with each growing hour, the clock clicked, and so did the realization that my family… wasn’t coming. Something inside me kept warning me not to ask, but I ignored it. I ignored it because I didn’t want to believe it, I didn’t want to believe that I had no one…”

You just wanted everything to be normal.

You wiped a single tear away, sniffling, trying to hide your tears with a snort and a laugh.

“Sorry, I’ve been kind of emotional this past week, which was really uncalled for, because I’m not this emotional – well, as you guys know, I mean, I’m usually way ruder, so being emotional isn’t really a bad thing, but, I – uhm.” You sighed, cheeks turning red, moving your hands, frustrated, as you tried to form a proper sentence.

“I just wanted to say that; no matter how difficult and ‘tough’ I was before my accident, never once did I hate you guys. I may have acted snarky and rude, and flinched every time someone touched me, but I’m not heartless. I’m didn’t act cold because I disliked you, I acted cold because I didn’t want to get close to you, you guys just kept pushing and I-I was so scared, I’ve lost so much in my life, and I just – I didn’t want to lose you too.” You stuttered, tears of embarrassment and shame pooling in your eyes, but you forced them back.

“I didn’t want to lose you, because…” you muttered some words under your breath, and Liam smirked as Stiles raised a confused brow.

“What?” Stiles asked obnoxiously, and you snorted, crossing your arms and shaking your head.

“Nothing.” You said, blushing to your ears.

“[Y/N], I’ll tell him if you don’t.” Liam teased, his grin never fading as you somehow managed to blush harder.

Stupid werewolf hearing.

“I said… I didn’t want to lose you, because…” You opened your mouth, about to say the words out loud. The words that had been caught on your dying breath.

Suddenly the door slammed open, and a flustered looking Scott burst in, a little wrapped box in his hand, and some corny ‘get well’ balloons in the other.

“Sorry – I was outside and listening for about 5 minutes because you were acting really cute but I didn’t want to miss what you were about to say because I wanted to see Stile’s face.” Scott rambled, and you glared at him, your entire face red as Lydia, Kira and Malia pooled in behind him.

“Great, now the whole pack’s here.” You grumbled, and you saw the three girls grin at you, everyone shuffling around the small room to find a seat, like some sort of miracle was about to happen.

You took a deep breath, ready to let go of your pride (and also because you knew Liam would tease you for eternity if you didn’t).

“As I was saying… I didn’t want to lose you, because I love you.” There was a long pause, and you didn’t dare up, instead staring down at your intertwined fingers.

“I love all of you.” You continued, holding your breath as you waited for someone to laugh or make a comment.

It was still silent, and you felt tears of panic reach your eyes.

“B-But it’s not like I deserve your love or anything! I mean, I was so rude to you guys, right? Oh- wait! I didn’t mean that I was expecting you guys to love me back or anything! I was just saying that because…” You trailed off, wiping your eyes quickly, and looking back up at them.

They were all smiling, and Stiles looked like he was about to explode out of happiness.

“H-Hey! Don’t look at me like that!” Your face heated up again, and you snapped at Stiles, who was too happy to even care.

Kira, Lydia and Scott were staring at you like you were some sort of confused puppy, and Malia was just smiling softly.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” You asked, slowly, softly.

“Duh – Isn’t it obvious?” Lydia asked, and you blushed further.

“We love you too.” Lydia stated, and you felt tears build in your eyes again, sniffling.

“Aww.” Scott trailed off, tackling you in a hug, causing you to squeak.

Soon Stiles and Liam joined in, and Malia snuck in to the side, quickly joined by Kira and Lydia.

You were stuck in the middle, surrounded by laughter and snide comments to one another.

You closed your eyes, smiling contently.

I love you.

I love all of you.

x end x

There it is! Part 2 is complete! Sorry it took so long, I’ve been busy the past couple days, and not really that inspired, it took a lot of my will power to write this (or a lot of my writer’s power??). lmao I’ll stop now.

Anyways tell me what you guys thought, thank you to all the lovely comments, I love all of you, have a nice day/week/year/life! ❥

of-tomadashis-and-clintashas  asked:

Could you maybe do Clintasha with “i found your box of letters underneath my bed last night and because i’m a nosy motherfucker i decided to read them and it turns out they were all addressed to me and the last one was dated the day you moved out and i’m not quite sure why i thought this would be a good idea but here i am, standing on your doorstep, wondering why the fuck we’re not together anymore” AU because they are both nosy and I'm a sucker for angst and ur writing is amazing

this one started off okay and then it was a downhill spiral from the first glass of wine so pls don’t expect too much

The sudden noise of the doorbell startles Natasha and she jumps slightly from her position in bed, the mug of tea perched precariously against her leg tumbling onto the floor, spilling the lukewarm liquid all over the carpet. “Shit,” she murmurs to herself, grabbing her wallet off of the dresser.

She tips the delivery girl hurriedly with a muttered, “Have a nice night” before depositing the pizza on the counter and tearing a handful of paper towel off the roll to deal with the spill on her bedroom floor.

A shadowy corner under the bed catches her eye as Natasha’s mopping up the tea with the paper towel and she reaches underneath, pulling out a beat-up cardboard shoe box that she doesn’t remember seeing before. Curious, she lifts the lid, revealing a mess of sealed envelopes, each bearing a date. The topmost envelope is dated three weeks ago yesterday. Her stomach plummets as she recalls the events of January 17th.

She shuts the lid on the box, vowing to recycle it and its contents tomorrow morning, but her eyes keep being drawn back to it, to its simplicity, to the mystery it contains. Knowing full well that it’s a bad idea, Natasha opens the box once more, choosing an envelope at random and tearing it open. The paper feels heavy in her hands, as if the weight of the words it carries is too much for her to bear. The handwriting is instantly familiar in a way that makes her chest ache with something akin to longing, but she refuses to call it that, refuses to acknowledge that she wants what she told herself she can never have.

Nat, it reads. You’re sleeping right now. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I could watch you sleep forever. Not, like, in a creepy way. I just never get tired of looking at you.Tears prick at her eyes, blurring the rest of the words on the page. She should stop, Natasha thinks. She should burn the letters and pretend she never found them, do her best to erase the words she just read from her memory and move on.

Instead, she reaches into the box again, pulling out envelope after envelope, unable to stop.

I took you to my parents’ graves today. I wish you could have met them. Mom would have loved you. Today was the 12th anniversary of their death and I never told you, but I felt like you knew. I wish you would tell me about your parents. I want to meet them, wherever they are. Even if they’re just a headstone like mine.

I can’t believe you challenged Tony to a drinking game and won. I didn’t know it was possible for me to love you more than I already did, but I do.

I moved in today. Well, officially moved in. I know I’ve been living out of that one drawer in your closet for months now, but it was time to make it official. I love that we have something we’re allowed to call ours. I love you, Natasha, more than you’ll ever know.

I know something’s wrong. I wish you would talk to me, Nat. I want to be able to help you. I know you’re trying to hide your scars but I can see them. I can feel them. They hurt me as badly as they hurt you.Don’t push me away. Please. Please, Nat, stop pushing me away.

Hands trembling, Natasha reaches into the box once more, lifting out the January 17th envelope. She slides it open slowly, carefully, scared of the words she might find on the page.

You came home from the doctor’s crying. I tried to ask you what was wrong and you pushed me away, screamed at me to get out and leave you alone. I’m standing here with my bags at my feet and I know this is a mistake but I can’t help the way you feel. For whatever I’ve done, Nat, I’m so sorry. I can only hope you’ll be able to forgive me someday. In the time being, if you ever need me, you’ll know where to find me. I love you Natasha, more than I know how to say. Nothing you do will ever change that. Yours, always, Clint.

Tears blurring her vision, Natasha shoves the letters back into the shoebox angrily, furious that he still has the power to make her feel this way. Before she knows what she’s doing she’s pulling on her jacket and shoving her feet into boots, headed out the door with the box of letters in her hand.

She’s on his doorstep before she can really process what she’s doing, hand poised to knock, when all of a sudden it hits her that she can’t show up at his door after everything she said to him, after the way that he left. But it’s too late. Just as she lowers her hand and decides to walk away and leave this all behind her, the door swings open.


“Sorry,” she murmurs, clutching the box of letters to her chest. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ll…I’ll just…”

Clint reaches out towards her as she turns to leave, his hand closing around her wrist. “Natasha, wait.”

She turns uncertainly, the weight of his words heavy in her arms. “I shouldn’t have read these,” she says quietly, thrusting the box towards him. “I’m sorry.”

Clint makes no move to take the box, instead bringing a hand to her shoulder tentatively, his grip becoming firmer as she makes no move to shake him off. “I left them for you, Natasha. I wanted you to read them.”

She shakes her head slowly, confusion etched into the lines of her face. “I don’t understand. Clint…why?”

“Because I’m still in love with you Natasha!” An edge of frustration creeps into her voice as he takes a step closer to her, the box of letters the only remaining barrier between her body and his. “And you can try to avoid me, you can try to push me away, but I’m always going to be here.”

She looks down at the box in her hands to avoid his eyes, uncertain.


“Just tell me what you want,” he says gently.

“I think…” she pauses, shifting back and forth on her feet. “I think I want to start over.”

Clint’s lips crash to hers in an instant as he murmurs, “Then what are you waiting for?”


Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader

Imagine the unsub spreading a deadly virus into a park and you get, then Spencer gets really scared and at the last minute, the CDC finds a cure.

Trigger Warning: Deadly viruses(?) 

It was a beautiful afternoon today, so I decided to go the to park on my last day off. I sat down on a wooden bench and took a deep breath of fresh air. The trees were a beautiful green and a warm summer breeze flowed through my hair.

“Spencer would like to be here and read.” I thought to myself. Recently, I couldn’t stop thinking about the brown haired boy, but I didn’t mind. Spencer was one of my best friends, even though I sort of wanted to be more. Well, not sort of, I really wanted to be more. But, I didn’t want to push myself on him. He didn’t seem ready. Every time he would ramble or spew out random facts, I had to refrain myself from squealing. He was just so adorable. But what I liked most about him are his brown eyes. They’re so kind and I could stare into them all day.

As I was thinking about the doctor, I noticed the air becoming thinner, it was almost hard to breathe. Starting to get concerned, I left and started heading to my car.

It was the next day and I didn’t feel any better, but I had a job to do. I got dressed and drove to work.

Right when I walked into the bullpen, everyone seemed to be rushing around gloomily. Suddenly Spencer ran up to me.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed. He looked really nervous. His eyes looked me up and down and I started to feel self-conscious.

“Hey Spence,” I muttered still not feeling well.

“Where were you yesterday at approximately three pm?” he asked urgently. What was he on about?

“I was at the park by north street,” I said slowly. I watched as his face turned from nervous to pure terror. “What? What is it?” I asked worried.

“This can’t be happening,” he said under his breath. “Go to Hotch’s office,” he ordered.

“Spencer what’s going-” I tried to say.

“Now, Y/N!” he yelled. I had never seen his this urgent and scared. What the hell is going on around here? 

I wandered into Hotch’s office and he also looked at me worried. Spencer burst in behind me.

“She was at the park, sir.” he says quickly.

“So she has the virus?!” Hotch exclaimed. He looked at me again. “Her skin is unusually pale, her eyes are bloodshot… but she isn’t…” his voice suddenly trailed off. “oh no.” he sighed. He was looking at my cheeks. More specifically under my eyes. I felt something warm spilling out of my eyes. Curious, I swiped to finger across my cheek to see the residue. It was blood. Suddenly it started coming out of my nose. I was starting to feel light-headed. I stumbled backward and landed in strong arms. Spencer scooped me up and carried me bridal style out the door to Hotch’s office, out to the main area. He was yelling something about calling an ambulance, but his voice was distorted.

When I opened my eyes I was in a hospital. The bright light was blinding me. After my eyes adjusted, I saw Spencer sitting in a chair next to my bed with his head down on my leg sleeping. I looked around and saw the other members of the team. Emily, JJ, Garcia, Rossi, Hotch, and Morgan. They didn’t notice I was awake yet. I looked back over at Spencer smiling. I ran my hands through his long curls. When he stirred I yanked my hand back and pretended to still be asleep.

“Y/N/N, I know you’re awake. I felt you,” he laughed. This got the attention of my other friends. They rushed over and crushed me with a hug/ I laughed weakly and smiled at them.

“So what happened to me?” I asked. I couldn’t remember anything except feeling really scared as Reid carried me to an ambulance. 

“Our new case deals with an unsub who enjoys to poison others,” Emily explained.

“Oh,” I said scowling at the bed sheets. “How did I get it?”

“You were at the park the day the unsub released it into the air,” Spencer added.

“That’s why the air was hard to breathe,” I whisper to myself.

“What?” Rossi asked.

“When I was at the park, I was relaxing and then suddenly the air became thin almost. I was super hard to breathe, so I left. I didn’t see anyone suspicious.” I explained.

“Everyone that was at the park that day is dead,” Hotch says somberly. “Why aren’t you?” Everyone looked at him.

“Way to make her feel better, Hotch,” Emily said rolling her eyes.

Then, suddenly, I started to feel like I couldn’t breathe again. I started shaking and coughing. As I was coughing, blood spewed all over the white hospital gown.

Spencer’s POV 

As soon as she started coughing up blood, I knew why she wasn’t dead yet. The virus hadn’t finished killing her.

“Get a doctor, now!” I yelled to JJ. She nodded her head quickly and ran out the door.

It seemed she was choking on her blood internally, so I turned her over on her side so she was facing me. I grabbed her hand and she squeezed it so hard, I swear she could have broken it. She stifled a scream.

“Shhh, it’s going to be okay,” I said more for my sake than hers. I needed to tell myself she was going to be okay. I needed her to be okay. She makes my life worth living, she makes an effort to make me feel normal, even though I know I am nowhere near normal. I feel safe with her, I love her.

“Spencer it… it burns. “ she groaned throwing her head back in pain.

“It will be okay,” I said again. Y/N leaned over the bed and threw up vials of blood. She let out a scream that made your blood run cold.

The doctor finally rushed in and wheeled Y/N into surgery. I turned around and let out a frustrated sob. I pushed the palms of my hands on my eyes. I sighed and looked around. All the girls were crying and the boys were trying not to.

Then we heard it. A scream worse than the last. It had a raw quality, the realness of a person consumed by a pain that knew no end or limit. I raced out the door to see Y/N covered in blood. She was vomiting it all over herself, it was coming out of her nose and eyes. It was the stuff nightmares were made of. The doctors wheeled her into the operating room, but I could still hear the screams through the walls as they worked on her.

Readers POV

I woke up again feeling so much better, lighter even. I sat up and smiled thinking how lucky I was to be alive. As soon as I woke up, I felt a pair of soft lips crash into mine. I melted into the kiss knowing it was Spencer. When we pulled away, he looked at me with sad, yet happy eyes.

“The surgeon said you crashed in the operating room so many times. You almost died.” he sighed.

“Well, I’m here,” I said happily.

“The CDC found a cure. It was so last minute I’m surprised it worked.” he laughed quietly to himself. “The others are in the cafeteria.”

“I think I’m well enough to walk,” I suggest but he shook his head. He went to the other end of the room and brought over a wheelchair. “No,” I said laughing. He gave me the puppy dog look and I gave in. 

When he helped me out of the bed, I tripped and our faces became extremely close.

“I’m so happy you’re okay,” Spencer smiled. I couldn’t help but grin.

“Do you actually like me?” I blurted out when he put me in the wheelchair. A blush crept up his face into his cheeks.

“Yes,” he said at last. “I have for a while, and it’s really sad to think that it took you almost dying for me to kiss you.” I squeezed his hand.

“I’ve loved you for a while as well.” I sighed. “I just didn’t think you were ready for a relationship.” He bent down and kissed my forehead.

“Let’s get lunch,” he sighed happily as he wheeled me into an elevator.

I loved you from the start But you'll never know what a fool I've been

Apocalypse AU, Part 4. Sequel to “I’m gonna raise the stakes, I’m gonna smoke you out” Holy water cannot help you now ”, and “We don’t care if it hurts when we’re holding too tight”

This isn’t the last part. It’s long, and I’m too drained to even dare try to proof-read. Forgive the mistakes. 

 Darkness, Nsfw. Violence

I loved you from the start But you’ll never know what a fool I’ve been (x)

 The change between Peter and Wendy isn’t earth-shattering – it’s subtle, progressive. It’s not like they’re suddenly loving, or even peaceful – but the energy isn’t the same. It’s softer.

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