I just had my university orientation a couple of days ago, a two day overnight stay filled with what you can imagine a lot of new people and embarrassing ice breakers. Overall, it was a pretty fun experience but what I really want to express to you guys were a couple eye opening experiences.
For our session, we had been divided into groups based off ours majors. For some reason, they had messed up with my major and accidentally placed me in the humanities group. When I tried fixing it, they had told me I was going to have to wait until the second day to change so alas, the rest of that day I remained with my group. During our lunch break while we were waiting for our next activity, a boy from my group came over and sat next to me. Bored, I pulled out my phone/stylus and began to sketch. It wasn’t until I was on my second layer that the boy spoke up.
“Did you draw that all yourself?” he had asked, eyes wide and a shy small smile on his lips. I was a bit embarrassed as truthfully, my sketch was a bit sloppy and I wasn’t really used to sharing my art.
“Yeah,” I admitted, sliding the phone over to show him. “It’s nothing really.”
He shook his head. “You’re too modest. I overheard earlier that you were placed in the wrong group. Are you an art major?”
At that I had laughed a bit, flattered. “No, I wish though. You can probably guess but it’s hard to get a job in that kind of industry. I’m pre-med,” I confessed.
“But you’re really good. Have you ever thought about commissioning your work? Maybe posting on Tumblr? I think you would be really popular.”
Again I couldn’t help but laugh a bit, not with malice but utterly flattered. “I actually do have a Tumblr,” I admitted. “I post here and there but I don’t think I’d ever sell my work. It’s not that good so I doubt people would buy it.”
He frowned at me, standing up as our group was being called for our activity. “Don’t sell yourself short. I’ve only seen you there for fifteen minutes and you had me convinced to buy your work.”
He walked away.
I guess growing up, I never really gave thought to the fact that I’m somewhat more artistic than the average person. No way saying I’m amazing or this prodigal genius or being conceited but I can definitely draw more than just a stick figure. My friends didn’t really see it as a big thing either, more as leverage to when we had group projects and they would make me do all the diagrams and decorating. My art, my writing, my creativity has always just personal and from the few times I’ve tried sharing, I always received lax responses. There’s always someone who can do it better so I never really had the drive to put it out there.
But it wasn’t until this moment that I realized that I honed something special. This guy doesn’t know me, had never spoken to me before. and here he was left impressed-so much he thought I was an art major. Do you know how freaking honored I felt? That someone that I was that good. I grew thinking my work was shit, mediocre at best.
I sat at that table for a couple of more minutes, really confused. Had I really been doubting myself all this time or was this guy just really nice?
One of the last activities we had to do for the day involved exercise games like dodgeball and racing and bean bag throwing. Let me tell you, it had been scorching hot that day so at that point, cute was the last thing I was thinking of. I threw my hair up into a messy bun, prepared to be running around.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Okay? You’re throwing your hair up? Like a reasonable person would do? So?
I grew up with a best friend, who not until recently, I realized was very toxic. She loathed the idea of me putting my hair into a messy bun.
You look fat with your hair like that.
It looks so disgusting. Put your hair down.
Don’t talk to me when you look like that.
Why would you put up with that you’re thinking, well she would smile and laugh, convincing me that best friends don’t let best friends look bad like that. It was annoying and so I just learned to keep my hair down around her. (You don’t realize you’re in toxic relationship until someone points it out, and it wasn’t just things like that. There’s so much more but that’s for another post I’ll write about another day when I’m ready.)
I’ll admit, I was a bit scared because even though I knew her words were out of malice, after hearing them so many times I began to wonder if they were the truth. I began to worry and quickly my hand flew up to my head ready to pull the hair tie out.
“Oh my God, your bun is so cute how did you do that?”
I froze. Another girl from my group came over and smiled at me. “Can you put my hair up like that too? You made it look so easy and I can never get my hair to do that!”
Another girl. And then another. By the end, I had shown four girls how to do it.
There was one point where we had to sit in a lecture. Waiting for it to begin, one of the girls asked me for my Instagram. She scrolled through my feed.
“Wow, your feed is so pretty. These pictures are so cohesive and professional looking!”
I stared at her in awe. If you were to look at the comments on my Instagram, they’re filled with condescending comments of “this is not tumblr” and “why did you post that?”
I love photography. I consider myself an amateur photographer. In my sophomore year I won a photography award from the county in architecture. My friends laughed because really? Architect? That’s so stupid. I had stopped posting on Instagram for a while.
She liked every post.
At dinner, I made friends with one of the girls who asked me to do their bun. As casual as ever, she asked me if I watched anime. For a second, I hesitated.
During high school, I never shared the fact that I was freaking obsessed with anime or kdramas or that I even had a Tumblr. People were cruel, they would make fun of you, expose you, turn something so simple into a shame. I had tried to confide in my best friend, the same one who hated my bun, and she had laughed at me. Every time we hung out with new people, she brought it up only to embarrass me in front of everyone. I vowed never to share that part of me with anyone else-no matter how much I loved it.
But this girl, she didn’t know me and she had asked right?
So I tried to be brave and I told her yes.
We talked about how Haikyuu!! was one of the best sports animes in the world and Oikawa was beautiful for hours.
It sounds stupid, I know. But I grew up letting high school define me, my friends define me. It was ground breaking. I had convinced myself not to do things just because people didn’t like them. I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that don’t let people break you down. Don’t hide yourself because what one person might find weird another might find beautiful. I didn’t realize that for many years, I was surrounded by close minded people and it wasn’t my fault. I shouldn’t be ashamed of the things I like.
Please please please don’t be apologetic for who you are.
Shenanigans - Pietro Maximoff x Reader x Scott Lang
Words: 987 Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x Reader x Scott Lang Warnings: swearing wow what a surprise Requested by: @bluetrainer “Hello, I recently found your blog and amazing imagines btw really great, I was wondering if you could make a fix where Pietro and Scott are both in love with the reader and the reader tries to tell them to stop with all the jealous shenanigans they do to try to one up each other, and that they love them both.” A/n: I’m glad you like my imagines :)) Also, what the heck, six hundred followers? I just hit 500 like two days ago. Wowza! <3
Hanging out with Pietro was always a ball. You could go anywhere at anytime, and do anything. And his plans with you today we’re going to be going to the other side of New York, but alas, he sprained his ankle.
But you were perfectly fine with just hanging out with him at the facility. You weren’t really sure what you were going to do, but it was going to be hilarious.
“We should play a prank on Cap.” Pietro said.
“What would we do?” You asked as you were laying on his bed, kicking your feet up in the air.
Pietro shrugged. “We will figure something out.”
On the other side of the facility, though, Scott was coming up with a plan. He was trying to figure out how to get Pietro away from you, and stop his flirting. Pietro knew Scott liked you.
When Scott heard Pietro and you laughing outside of his room, he went into action. He stepped outside to be met with both of you.
“I thought you guys were traveling today?” He asked.
“Nah, Piet sprained his ankle.” You said.
“Oh,” Scott said with a little smile. “You’re just going to let that get you down and away from your day with (Y/N)?” Scott asked. “You can’t let that get you down!”
older and newer updates, crossposting from instagram. I wish progress
was faster, but alas. I’m figuring out a lot of stuff as I go, which
means there are a lot of things that don’t immediately work and I have
to redo! (also I’m stubborn, I learn by making mistakes and fixing them
rather than following a tried and tested method ^^’) finishing sen’s
head-system and spoon’s sculpt are my priority for the holidays, and
besides those I’ll be working on the #60body mainly. mostly I just have
to keep myself from starting anything new (again)!