i tried to do it as that creepy dude from family guy

We had just finished our first quest, where none of us really were experienced DnD player, and I did some feeble attempts at solid DM'ing. The goal of the quest had been to find an antidote for a farmer’s son who had gone into a magical coma.

(ps: due to an inside joke, Winnie the Pooh is in the party like, just there. Christopher Robin is the farmers son who fell ill. The party coloured winnie the pooh neon pink. I don’t know why.)

DM: You reach the farm. You don’t have to roll shit to figure out these peeps are poor. They have a cow and a goat in a small pen that don’t look too hot. Oh, and there’s a donkey tied by the door to their shedlike home.

Elf Ranger: guys i think these peeps are super poor.

Half-Elf Cleric (only good aligned partymember): oh my god really????

DM: just as you say that, the door creaks open, and a thin, a bit aged man peeks out, and when he sees you, his eyes go wide and he steps fully outside, and he says “Are you the ones my daughter sent to- have you found it? Did you find the antidote for my son?”

Half-Elf Cleric: Hello we are here to speak to you about Jesus Christ- I mean, Njord. That’s my deity, right?

Elf Ranger: Yeah, the word of Njord.

Dward Fighter (whose alignment is sorta fuzzy): Yeah we got some antidote dude but uhh time cough up some gold pieces, aight

DM: So- these news fills him with both glee and fear. He sinks down on his feet-

Half-Elf Cleric: What was he on before

DM: -His knees. He sinks down on his knees, and he brings his hands together in your typical prayer like- he’s begging you. “Please, we have… nothing.”

Tiefling Warlock (Chaotic Neutral): sad trombone

DM: “Please, I- I have but one son, he and my daughter are- we won’t be able to do the amount of work- we need him!”

Tiefling Warlock: “Shall we move on, my fellows?”

DM: As you guys speak about this, Winnie the Pooh slides down from /Half-Elf Cleric/’s shoulders, where he’s been perched, and sort of waddles forward, past the begging father, and into the house, to join Christopher Robin.

Half-Elf Cleric: AWWWWWW

Dwarf Fighter: Ey he didn’t swipe the antidote from us, did he?

DM: No- no, you still got that.

Tiefling Warlock: I would’ve Eldritch Blasted his ass if he had.

Half-Elf Cleric: I think we should just give them the antidote.

DM: Like- just to clarify: the antidote is not like- a valuable thing. It’s just this one specific conconction for this particular- you won’t get more cash out of this anywhere else, nobody is gonna run up to you and go “oh, my father is in a magical coma and needs an antidote that-!” like. It’s literally worthless except for these people.

Tiefling Warlock: But we won't have to help someone pro bono.

Half-Elf Cleric: *annoyed sigh* I don’t give a damn about money.

Everyone except her: *horrified gasps*

Dwarf Fighter: … well, you guys do got a nice ass-

Everyone: WHAT

Dwarf Fighter: the donkey. You got a nice donkey.

DM: You… want the donkey.

Half-Elf Cleric: IS IT EEYORE

Everyone: YES we want the donkey.

DM: … The man looks at the donkey and then at you, and he goes “I- If it is a trade between the life of my son and my donkey, it’s- then it’s yours.” And- and Eeyore looks up at you all-

Everyone: YES IT’S EEYORE

DM: -and he goes “I figured I was going to get sold anyway…”

Half-Elf Cleric: AWWW

DM: and the farmer goes “AAA” cus he didn’t know he had a talking donkey

Dwarf Fighter: eyy hasn’t he seen Shrek talking donkeys means cash

DM: yeah well that doesn’t matter now cus he’s giving him to you guys

Dwarf Fighter: right you are

DM: and the man unties Eeyore and he sighs deeply and he goes “this surely won’t make things easier for us… but in exchange for my son… *sigh*”

Tiefling and Dwarf: oh stop moping around jesus hell

Half-Elf Cleric: EYY if I have a ‘set of commoners clothes’ can i give them to them cus they look poor right

DM: I guess

Half-Elf Cleric: EYYYYYYYYYYYY

DM: but then you’d be naked

Half-Elf Cleric: NÄÄÄIJ in that case fuck it you don’t get shit i’m sorry i tried

DM: -and you just start taking of your clothes to give them to the man, but you realise halfway through what you’re doing and you get dressed again

Tiefling: cover yourself, woman

DM: so- let me get this straight. You guys literally have a box on wheels that you pull along with you, and it is filled… with the golden heads of a pair of statues AND YOU WANNA TAKE THIS POOR FAMILYS DONKEY.

Tiefling: survival of the fittest, honey *grabs rope with Eeyore on the other end*

-they go inside and give Christopher Robin the antidote-

Christopher Robin: what the fuck

DM: And the family all rejoice at the awakening of their son, and they turn and thank you, and they’re in the middle of hugging you all when the farmer murmurs “They… they took the donkey.” and the whole family just. Goes quiet-

Dwarf Fighter: fucking tattletale?

DM: - and the mother sort of sinks down on her chair and she whisperes “How will we surviv-”

Tiefling: Oh for fucks- “look, woman, if you don’t shut up I’ll Eldritch Blast your ass-”

Half-Elf Cleric: “HEY WHAT”

DM: The woman gasps loudly and pales-

Dwarf Fighter: “Yo what’s the problem don’t you want a talking donkey”

Half-Elf Cleric: “I meant the whole threatening to KILL HER actually”

Tiefling: “I wasn’t threatening her, I was just stating a fact”

DM: That if she wouldn’t shut up you’d kill her?

Tiefling: It’s a very known fact.

DM: Winnie the Pooh is looking at Christopher Robin with such glee; it’s really indescribable how happy he’s looking, and he’s hopping around happily and he’s climbing up on the bed to give him a big old hug, and Christopher Robin, he goes- “What the- could you guys like take the bear away from me.”

Everyone: “WHAT”

Half-Elf Cleric: “Isn’t he like with you?”

Christopher Robin: “Wh- no? I just went into the woods and he just came up to me, and I found this ruin and he just followed me? And then I got stung by something and that’s all I remember? Could you like take him away he’s a bit creepy. And why is he pink?”

Half-Elf Cleric: “Well uhh he’s yours now. You don’t have a donkey anymore, so-”

DM: And this sorta comes as news to him cus when the father told the fam he had just woken up so he was a bit disoriented so now he goes “Wh-Why is-? What happened to our donkey?” And the father, he goes “Well, son, it was their demand to give you the antidote… and-”

Tiefling: “By the way… can we get this transaction on paper?”

DM: - and the boy turns to you incredulously, and he goes “But-! You can’t! We need that donkey, without it we’ll die!”

Dwarf: “You’re young and strong, boy, time to saddle up.”

Tiefling: “You got a bear now.”

DM: - And Christopher Robin starts to cry too, and he goes “You might’ve saved our lives, but you’ve killed our family-”

Dwarf: “Anywho, gots to go.”

DM: So, you go to leave the shedlike home, and the athmostphere is next to devastated-

Dwarf: “Okay, okay, I ain’t okay with this. We go here and save your life, and you guys are devastated? Really?”

Tiefling: “I agree entirely. Ungrateful runt.”

Cleric: “I-”

DM: “And Chrisopher Robin slams the door in your face.”

Cleric: “No, I was- I was gonna whisper to him “I didn’t want this, I wanted to let you have it for free-”

DM: -Okay, so you whisper that, and he just stares you down, and he shakes his head, and tears are falling down, and he just spits out “You’re just as bad as them for letting it happen anyway,” and he throws the door shut in front of your face after doing that.

Cleric: “GODDAMNIT”

DM: okay so like just to state- like, you guys are super welcome to just. give them something on your own accord, like, out of your own pocket, you picked up som gold in that temple, so if you want to-

Cleric: I WANNA GIVE THEM 100 GP

Tiefling: WHAT “NO, NO, DON’T” ok so I try to pursuade /cleric/ not to do it.

DM: You- you can’t roll to make another player do stuff they don’t wanna do.

Tiefling: Okay, uh “Hey, /cleric/. Don’t do it.” There, you’re pursuaded.

Cleric: … yeah, nah. I give them the gold.

DM: So- you hammer on the door and you shout “I GOT GOLD FOR YOU” or something like that, and Christopher Robin opens the door, and once he sees the gold you’re extending, he- he is so happy. He takes the gold and he goes to hug you, and the entire family comes out and does the same, they can buy like 3 donkeys now i dunno how GP works in dnd yet uhhh so-

Tiefling: Fuck this, I eldritch blast Christopher Robin.

Cleric: NO YOU DON’T i stand in the way.

DM: -Fine? Uh, roll an attack roll.

Tiefling: Twelve.

DM: You miss. You hit the ground.

Tiefling: … don’t I hit the house at least?

DM: NO YOU- WHY DO YOU WANT TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

 Cleric: WHY WOULD YOU STILL ROLL WHEN I WAS STANING IN THE WAY- YOU TRIED TO KILL ME

Ranger: All of this for a donkey

DM: Nah, dude, you got the donkey. This is because /Cleric/ gave them 100 GP

Ranger: Oh okay

Dwarf: Yeah, but they’re super ungrateful. Bastards.

Cleric: Yeah but we can’t KILL THEM for that??

DM: so the family, they- after the attempted murder, they run back into the house. 

Dwarf: Did they take the gold?

DM: Yeah.

Dwarf: Rat bastards.

DM: Does /Tiefling/ want to keep his spree of ‘teaching people some manners’ going or?

Tiefling: Nahhh. But he does cast sleep on /Cleric/ cus he’s pissed.

Cleric: haHA i’m a half elf and I can’t be magically put to sleep!

Tiefling: Nvm then I’m tired.

DM: So- you guys walk away from the house, and just for a moment you hear the door opening and then quickly closing-

Ranger: No

DM: -and you turn, and- Winnie the Pooh has been tossed out of the house.

Dwarf: THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT when Njord taketh a donkey he giveth thee an illuminescent bear, and they just TOSS HIM OUT

DM: - and Winne the Pooh sits on the ground very- very sadly. Had he had tear ducts, he would cry a single tear. He is on the ground-

Ranger: Still pink?

DM: Still pink.

Cleric: :’(

Ranger: ugh FINE let’s take him with us.

DM: You go and pick him up, and he is so happy. So, so happy.

Dwarf: what are we, collecting Winnie the Pooh characters?

DM: He’s on /clerics/ shoulder again-

Tiefling: Can’t we put him on Eeyores back?

Dwarf: Can’t we put EEYORE on WINNIE THE POOH’s back?

DM: You put Eeyore on Winnie the Pooh back, and you now have a donkey on top of a bear on the ground. They are not moving.

Cleric: Oh dear.

DM: And Eeyore sighs and goes “I knew I’d be too heavy”

Everyone: “AWWWWWW”

Where's My Love

Requested: Nope

Based off a prompt list #6 linked Here

#6 “I thought I told you that we’re friends and nothing more!”

I also recommend listening to the song Where’s My Love by: Syml. 

Which also influenced the title of this imagine.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Description: You were new to the school, you were awkward and shy like you always were whenever you moved schools’. You soon fell into a group of friends that you loved. You were extremely close with Peter, sometimes you believed that you two could be something, but you knew he loved Liz, making you distance yourself to see if he’d notice.

Warnings: Lots of sadness prepare yourself.

Word Count: 2,751

A/N: Hey guys, I know it’s been a realllyy long time since I’ve written anything and I genuinely apologize for that. I’ve been in a really dark slump lately and haven’t been motivated at all. But I’m trying my best to get back into writing and making you all happy. Therefore, I’m writing a Spider-Man Homecoming imagine because how can you not love Peter Parker? Anyways, I hope you enjoy. :)

Side Note: I wrote this so sad that I was crying while typing it.

Originally posted by sddonald22

You had transferred schools’ three times now, your father was always traveling because of his job, meaning your whole family had to travel with him.

You didn’t mind the traveling part, however the transferring of schools’ that you did mind.

You hated being the new kid at school, you were always the topic of the day until everyone got used to you being there.

Everyone would stare and talk about you behind your back, some would be nice and some not so nice.

You had to admit, you weren’t the best at making friends, you were more of a loner, an awkward person that didn’t socialize with others very well, you were extremely shy.

That is till you met your dream team of friends.

You were once again traveling, this time to New York, and attending to Midtown High School.

You assumed it was going to be like the rest of the times you transferred, everyone would stare and look at you and talk about you.

But this was different, someone actually noticed you, someone actually talked to you.

It was during lunch, you saw a girl and two guys sitting at a table by themselves, you figured they wouldn’t mind you sitting there along with them, so you did.

This intrigued them all, they had never seen you before.

“Hey, quiet one, who are you?” The girl asked, making you snap your head in her direction.

You looked around at first, before pointing a finger at yourself as if to ask ‘are you talking to me?’ which made her nod.

You swallowed nervously, not used to having to speak.

“I uh.. My name is Y/N, I just moved here.” You gave a shy smile, which only made the girl nod in curiosity.

“I see.. Well my name is Michelle, but you can call me MJ.” She smiled slightly, going back to her book.

You nodded, before glancing at the two boys who were staring at you.

You raised an eyebrow, making them snap back into reality and try to hide the fact they were looking at you.

You rolled your eyes playfully, making them smile.

“I know Michelle just asked you your name, but can you tell us again?” The brunette asked, making you even more nervous.

“It’s Y/N.” You smiled slightly, messing with the ends of your hair.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Peter and this is Ned.” He smiled, as Ned waved a friendly hello at you.

You laughed quietly, waving back.

“So, how’s your first day going?” Peter asked, making you nearly choke on your water.

You were confused as to why they were still talking to you, so this threw you off guard and into complete embarrassment.

“It’s uh.. going as it usually does?” You spoke more as a question than an answer.

“Do you transfer a lot?” Ned asked, making you nod sadly.

“My third time.” You shrugged, letting out a small sigh.

They both nodded understandingly, and soon before you knew it, you all became best friends.

You’ll always remember that day in the cafeteria, the first day you actually made friends.

Now it was a normal routine to have lunch with all of them, talk about whatever tests or labs that you all had coming up.

However, the only thing coming up was homecoming.

Over the past few months you’d been at Midtown High, you started developing feelings for your best friend Peter.

You didn’t know how it happened, but it just did and it scared you.

“We should probably stop looking before it gets creepy.” You heard Peter tell Ned as they were off staring at Liz Allen.

The girl of Peter’s dreams.

A girl that wasn’t you.

You knew about Peter’s love for Liz, he made it extremely obvious.

You did your best to not show how much it bothered you, but it started to push you to your limits.

He would talk about her outfit, or her hair, or just her in general whenever he could.

And it killed you.

Michelle soon figured out your secret, that you liked Peter, she promised she wouldn’t tell, but she knew how much it killed you to see him chase after a different girl.

“So, I want to ask Liz to homecoming but I don’t know how, she probably already has a date, why would she even go with me-” Peter rambled, but Ned cut him off.

“Dude, chill, just ask her.” He slapped his hand on Peter’s shoulder, making him blink a few times.

You just sat there, quietly listening to it all.

“Y/N, what do you think I should do? You’re a girl, what do you like?” Peter questioned, sitting down in a chair in front of you.

You bit your lip before thinking.

“Okay.. If you were to say, as an example as me to homecoming, I’d like it if you made a cheesy sign and have flowers asking me.” You nodded, before looking back at Peter.

You both locked eye contact for a moment, and you could have sworn something happened in those few seconds.

But it was soon ripped away as Peter clapped his hands, telling you how brilliant you were.

You gave a fake smile, wishing it would be for you instead.

There were only two days left till homecoming, Peter still hadn’t asked Liz to homecoming, something about wanting it to be perfect.

You had hit your breaking point, you were done being around him when all he did was talk about Liz.

You decided to distance yourself from him and Ned those next few days.

Your headphones plugged into your ears that way you could avoid them if they talked to you.

You even started sitting down with Michelle rather than with them at lunch.

At first they both thought you were just being nice and wanted to sit with her, but then as it became more frequent they got curious as to why you had been avoiding them.

If only they really knew the truth.

The day of homecoming soon arrived, you had decided against going, not wanting to see Peter and Liz dance together.

Michelle tried to convince you to go with her, but even she knew you wouldn’t have fun.

You had avoided Peter and Ned for three days now, you could tell they were getting annoyed with you, but you didn’t care.

You were laying on the couch, watching Netflix with an ice cream tub in your lap.

You weren’t going to lie, you wished you were at homecoming, you hated being at home, but you couldn’t afford seeing someone you liked so much to be with someone else.

You were about to take a spoonful of ice cream when you heard a knock at your door.

You huffed, getting up and heading to the door, only to reveal Peter standing before you.

“Y/N, we need to talk.” He spoke, frustration evident in his voice.

You let him in, confusion displaced on your face.

“Okay, talk.” You crossed your arms, looking at him.

He was pacing back and forth, making you even more confused.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” He blurted out, making your eyes widened a bit.

“I-I haven’t.. I mean.. What are you talking about?” You stammered, making him glare at you.

“You know what I’m talking about, for the past three days you haven’t been talking to me, listening to me, even eating lunch with me.” He was counting off everything, and it was all true.

You looked around the apartment, refusing to look at Peter.

“What did I do?” He questioned, his voice cracking which made you look at him instantly.

He looked like he was about to cry, breaking your heart instantly.

“You love someone else.” You whispered, tears threatening to fall.

Peter looked at you confused at first, before realization hit him.

“Y/N, when we first met, I thought that I told you we’re friends and nothing more!” He closed his eyes, speaking loudly which made you swallow nervously.

“I didn’t mean to.. I-I tried not to.. I-I” You stammered, a tear slipping down your cheek.

Peter just stood there, unsure of what to say or do.

You were pleading he’d say something or do something, just something to make everything okay again.

“I think I’m going to go. I have to meet Liz for homecoming.” He sighed, refusing to look at you before walking out the door.

It was a moment like this that you never felt so low.

Your heart was breaking, your sobbing was becoming uncontrollable, and you had nobody to lean on.

She hides away, like a ghost,

Does she know that we bleed the same?

Don’t wanna cry but I break that way.

You wanted to call Michelle, but you didn’t want to ruin her homecoming.

You wanted to call Ned, to tell him everything, and by everything you meant everything.

But mainly you wanted to call Peter, to explain everything.

But every time you picked up your phone, you remembered the way he was before he left.

He was upset with you, for liking him.

And that upset you too.

You knew you shouldn’t have fallen for him, but it just happened.

You couldn’t take being trapped in your apartment, so you decided to go for a walk.

You grabbed your jacket, heading outside.

It was a bit chilly, but you didn’t mind.

You needed to clear your mind, mainly to get Peter off your mind.

You figured he was at the dance right now, with Liz, Ned, and Michelle, dancing and having fun.

You felt another tear slip down your cheek, you looked miserable, anyone could see that clear as day.

What you didn’t know though was that Peter decided to not go with Liz, he had arrived at the dance with her, but told her he had to go, and everyone knew why.

Because of you.

It’s always been you.

He rushed back as quick as he could to your apartment, but felt his heart drop when you didn’t answer.

It was times like this that he liked being Spider-Man, he climbed through your window to see you really weren’t there, creating him to panic.

Did you run away?

Did you run away?

I don’t need to know if you ran away,

If you ran away,

Come back home,

Just come home.

Peter was out looking for you, he knew that in certain times you went on walks, but what made him nervous was that it was at night, and it was his fault you were out there.

He flew all over the streets, until he spotted you.

I got fear, oh, in my blood,

She was carried up into the clouds,

High above.

He rushed down to you, you had been hit by a drunk driver, Peter never felt worse in his entire life.

His heart dropped to his stomach, his eyes watering behind the mask.

“Y/N, hey, wake up, come on, please.” He begged, holding your face in his hands.

He begged, pleading for you to wake up and tell him what an idiot he was for not seeing how much you liked him sooner.

He wanted to hear you laugh, he wanted to see your shy smile you always gave him.

You opened your eyes for a brief second, seeing a red blur, you could hear mumbling but it was faint.

You could barely recognize the voice as Peter, which only made you smile just thinking about him.

Peter was doing his best to keep you awake, moving a piece of your hair out of your face.

“Y/N, don’t close your eyes, do you hear me? Don’t close your eyes.” He pleaded, but he knew he was losing an ending battle.

You did your best to keep them open, but your eyes slowly fell shut, one last tear slipping down your cheek.

You laid there, limp, making Peter scream in anger and sadness.

He lost the one true person who genuinely cared for him, and he blamed himself for it.

If he had only stayed there with you and talked it out, this wouldn’t have happened.

If he had just listened to you, or paid more attention to how you acted around him this all could have been prevented.

But it was too late.

Peter didn’t even care at this point, he ripped off his mask, pulling you into his arms, angry sobs escaping from his mouth.

That was a day Peter would remember forever, something he could never forget, the day his true love died in his arms.

Cold Bones.

Yeah, that’s my love,

She hides away, like a ghost.

Bear: Stuart Twombly x Reader

Pairing: Stuart Twombly x Reader 

 A/N: This is my first reader insert. This is also the first smut that I’ve done on here so bear with me. I also feel like the story line was all over the place, so I apologize in advance. Also, I apologize for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes as I’ve procrastinated really hard on this, starting this in like early April and not finishing it until 1:30 in the morning today, and I am way too tired to proof read. 

@writing-obrien

Warning: NSFW 18+

Word count: 4,814

 ~~~


Originally posted by prettiestcaptain

Stuart’s POV 

 How do you deal with having a crush on the hottest girl in the office? Be a complete asshole and ignore her all the time, of course. Admittedly not my best decision, but it’s kept me from fucking her in front our co-workers, so that’s something, right? And I can’t help it. It’s not my fault that she could literally be wearing a paper bag and I’d still get a hard on. The way her jeans hug her curves and the shirts that make her look sophisticated, yet sexy at the same time. Or when she wears these cute little sun-dresses and sandals that make her legs look amazing. It can make any man fall to his knees. And to make matters worse, I was her supervisor. 

Keep reading

Democratic Nomination 2020

so I figured I’d give my hot take on 2020 Democratic nomination because why not?

No Country for Old Men:

Jerry Brown: Brown’s name, to my shock, has come up a few times. The first a most major problem is that Jerry is ALREADY 79 years old, and will be in his 80s by 2020. Not to be grim, but it’s mathematically unlikely for a man who is 82 on taking office to live to serve two full terms, even one term would be a gamble. Past the mathematical issue, Jerry is a household name in California politics but over 40 years has never managed to build up a base of support outside is home state. Best known as “Moonbeam” two flopped runs for President hint how round 3 would go even if he was 10 years younger.

Bernie Sanders: It’s pretty clear that Bernie is at least thinking about another run at the Presidency. His problem is in the same as Brown, if slightly less intense. He’s 75 right now meaning he’ll be 79 election day 2020 asking people to vote for a President who will be in his 80s in office is a tall order. I realize that age for whatever reason didn’t hunt the 70 year who eats trash, never sleeps and hates work outs, but I feel like a nearly 80 year old can’t get away with it. I’ve heard many of his supports saying he should run on age alone. Past this Bernie failed to connect with black and latino voters in 2016 and has made a few notable missteps since becoming a mega political figure. More and younger progressives are interested in running and the fandom around Bernie is unlikely to relight with the same flame in 2020, even if it did, it was not enough in 2016, he needs to widen his support outside of white liberals and college kids to win the primary.

Joe Biden: again age is the biggest single problem he’ll be 78 years old on election day 2020, and like Bernie it’s pretty clear Joe is at least thinking about it. Again I think asking voters to have a President in his 80s is a bridge too far. Though the health of the sitting President might be a factor, if Trump very unhealthy lifestyle plus the horrible stress of being President leads to Trump looking sick, weak and unhealthy after 4 years, even a older man who was slim and fit and sharp might benefit next to a fat slow unhealthy mess. Though it might also serve to highlight the risks of an older President. Past age Joe has no geographic or Ideological base. While remembered with a level of fondness by Democrats, his image is as something of a drunk uncle (I know he does not drink) who’s fun and says what we’re all thinking. I’m unsure that translates and the warm fuzzy feeling people have about him as a member of the Obama team I don’t think boost him much. His last two tries to run for President were total failures and his 2015 non-run didn’t show very impressive polling for a sitting VP

Hillary Clinton: While much younger than the 3 other people in this camp (she’ll be a youthful 72 come 2020) and younger than Trump, she’s a woman and as we saw in this campaign women are badly punished for showing signs of age. It seems fairly clear Hillary does not want to run. Her running would set all the former Bernie people’s hair on fire and generally the press would have a field day printing nasty stories and playing the 2016 primary all over again along with “have the Democrats learned nothing?” all pretending that Hillary didn’t win the popular vote and is super out of touch, blah blah blah. What’s more many of her hardcore supporters suffered a soul crushing loss and might not have the energy to gear up for a 3rd bitter battle to the nomination, while many feminists who like Hillary but aren’t worshipers likely feel it’s time for a new younger woman to try to take down the glass ceiling

When you’re famous, they let you do it:

Kanye West: he said he will run for President, if he means it, or remembers saying it, who knows. A lot of people will say in the age of Trump we should count out any rich or famous person. However this over looks that the Republican Primary voter and the Democratic Primary voter are very different. The later is more likely to be college educated for one thing, as well as ethnically diverse and think experience is important. Getting back to West, he’s generally seen as a huge egomaniacal crazy person. His troubles with mental health are public record with his very public break down in November 2016 (and some other things). His ego and weird need to pick a fight with the First couple of hip hop Jay Z and Beyonce has made him a messy and controversial character even with-in Hip Hop and the black community. What’s more is November trip to Trump Tower and on stage weird pro-Trump rant are unlikely to go away. Also there’s the in-laws, his wife is someone a lot of people love to hate, and his step-mother-in-law Caitlyn Jenner has gotten a lot of well earned stick for being a Republican Trump supporter and rather tone deaf on most issues.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: He has a history, low key granted, as a Republican, has not really voiced any support for any policies or issues. On the plus side he’s handsome, can laugh at himself and seems generally likable and well liked. That said there’s no proof he’s smart in any way and much of his history has been playing over the top characters and then over the top characters making fun of the fact that he’s the Rock. All of which might give Democratic votes Trump flashbacks. If he can speak clearly on issues and takes progressive stands on things he’ll have an outside shot, but if he can’t sound like an adult and draw a line under the guy who stars in the Baywatch remake he has no hope

Mark Cuban: As boorish and bullying as Trump, with vague political ideas that mostly circle around Ayn Rand and discount libertarianism Cuban is unlikely to get Democratic voters hot. Voters will likely also dislike his early softening on Trump after the election. That said Cuban has clearly made a lot of money, a lot of Democratic Primary voters loath Trump and might wish for a candidate who only bullies, attacks, and mocks the object of their hate, his money and experience with politics before now puts him above Johnson or West but behind the next guy

Mark Zuckerberg: One of the handful of business people in the 21st century to be a household name. Young, tech friendly he and his company seem the very embodiment of white millennial ideas of diversity and inclusion. Sadly for the Zuck the place one might expect him to most popular, with people under 35 who are on-line a lot is the place he’s the least popular. Justified or not a lot of people get a creepy big brother vibe from Facebook and Zuckerberg has become something of a Hollywood stock villain type, with Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor just being a retread of his performance from The Social Network. indeed that movie is a major problem for Zuckerberg, he’s a villain and a creep in a hugely popular movie all about him. Zuckerberg is and always has been a slightly awkward, slightly off nerd, and lacks the charm to fight off attacks that he stole Facebook from someone, he’s too California tech kid to be relatable for much of America. That said weirdly Zuckerberg might play well with older voters who didn’t see the Social Network, don’t understand the problems people have with Facebook and see a young, fairly good looking young man who built a company they know and likely use, who’s used his money to do good stuff, who has a charming and beautiful wife and a multi-ethnic family, basically a kind of anti-Trump. Outside of the story of how Facebook started I’ve never heard any stories of him being a jerk on a personal level, and while we laugh at him feeding cows, some people like when the big city liberals come out and get their hands dirty.

The (White) Dude abides:

Steve Bullock: Freshly re-elected in a bad year for Dems out of a Red state. All sounds good, but the state is Montana, who’s Democratic party is hardly reflective of the national party. In a party headed to the left it’s unlikely a western conservative will get people off. past this he has no national name recognition, and his last name is a British slang term for a testicle, something the internet will love

John Hickenlooper: a two term governor of a key swing state that Democrats need to win, Hickenlooper has a fairly progressive record, will likely make stoners and college students happy because his state has legal pot (even though he didn’t support it, that’s likely to be a detail glossed over by 2020). counting against him is that he’s largely unknown outside his state and political nerd circles, and he has a frankly ridicules name and is skinny and odd looking. A strange looking man with a very weird lass name, politics can be piety that way.

Terry McAuliffe: another governor from a key swing state, but like Bullock and Hickenlooper with very little name recognition outside is own state. Past this McAuliffe will have been out of office for 3 years, the 2017 race is likely to get far more attention than his race and if Tom Perriello replaces him, he’ll have been beaten in what looks and feels like a Clinton Bernie rematch, with Perriello as Bernie, close links to the Clintons will likely get him tarred as a corporate Democrat.

Still feeling the Bern:

Tulsi Gabbard: A lot of ink has been spilled about Gabbard, but she’s young, very pretty, multi-ethnic from a minority majority state with a military record. Her support for Bernie endears her to a block of his voters. However, she’s just a Representative, no one since Garfield has jumped from the House to the Presidency. Again remember Democratic Primary voters different from Republican ones. Her support for Assad has won her alt-right fans, but both those facts will likely be horrifying to most Democratic voters. It’s unclear if she’ll be able to use her status as a minority and woman to hide from attacks based on past homophobia and islamophobia. Finally her early meetings with Trump, her statements about Russia and Putin and the bridges she burned down with non-Bernie supporters in the party are all likely to hurt her badly

Elizabeth Warren: Likely the only person the American Left liked more than Bernie going into 2016, and her being a lady and feminist well known for forcefully speaking her mind warmed her to one group Bernie struggled with, Feminists. That said Warren likely suffered damage by sitting out the 2016 primary as long as she did, hardcore Bernie supporters feel betrayed and did nothing to win the hearts of Clinton fans. Past that Warren’s tone and attacking passion has made her a hate figure for Republicans but not widened her appeal past the left of her own party.

The Senator from somewhere

Sherrod Brown: A populist leftie in a key swing state. Downsides being he sided strongly and early with Hillary, thus is “no longer a progressive” to Bernie supporters. Much ride on if Brown can be re-elected in a state that is getting redder all the time, his raspy voice has never lent itself to rising oration, and it’s a little unclear what he brings to the table, despite his best efforts he’s never captured the left of the party’s hearts and minds the way Sanders and to an even greater degree Warren did before 2015.

Chris Murphy: having been in room with Chris Murphy, Chris Murphy thinks he should be President. He’s young, good looking and has laser focus on one easy to understand policy idea that is fairly popular with base Democrats. Sadly for him, that policy is gun control. While nothing he’s saying is radical the NRA will do anything to stop him, and his campaign will likely get attacked early and often by Newtown truers fueled by Alex Jones. bluntly Murphy is not a great speaker or a very interesting guy, nice enough but likely to struggle in any state without be cities with gun crime problems, like say Iowa or New Hampshire.

Cory Booker: He’s young, he’s black, he’s hot. Sadly for Cory every time he opens his mouth people want to hear Obama. Booker lacks Obama’s speaking skills and has failed to impress basically every time he’s gotten a prime time shot at the mic. Past that he doesn’t have a lot of accomplishments to his name, For whatever Reason Bernie supporters went after him hard early in the year for voting against Bernie, if this is a sign of the progressive reaction to him or not is hard to say. Booker seems to be skating on Street Fight 15 years later. Past that Booker is a single man, in politics being young, handsome, and always single makes people talk

Mark Warner: Senator from a key swing state, looks like he was sent from casting to play the President some time between 1940 and 1964. This hinges a lot on what the next 4 years looks like, Warner is not the fire breathing Trump slayer a lot of Democrats want right now, but will they still want that in 2020? Will Warner slowly become a national figure based off being the face of the Congressional inquiry into all things shady Russian and Trump? who can say, if not Warner is too bland and boring, if he’s the claiming face of justice slowly wading toward the truth, thats a leg up

Al Franken: Funny, witty, and good on the attack. Al is the kinda guy millions of liberals are turning to every week, the grandfather of political humor in the style of the Daily Show, as well as of left wing TV (MSNBC’s Maddow got her start with Franken on Air-America Radio) It’s the world he help build that’s keeping millions of Democrats sane. However most of them don’t know this, Al’s more or less been on ice since getting elected though his first book in 12 years might help people rediscover him. Another problem is Franken has been in comedy for 40 years, jokes that were funny and/or off color in the 1970s are surely offensive now, so there are surely hours of clips of Al saying racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic things as joke on SNL and later stand up and in his often crassly funny political books from the 1990s and 2000s

The Ladies doing it for themselves

Tammy Duckworth: A lot of women were put out and also made spitting mad that a sexist monster beat a woman for the Presidency and want a woman badly. Duckworth is a war hero with an inspiring story, a fresh and new face in the Senate. Sadly for her, her disability will surely be an issue, it wasn’t in her Senate race because she was running in a deep blue state, against someone who also had a disability and couldn’t walk well. However a FIT President is important and the standard to be a fit woman President was clearly higher, people won’t be comfortable with a President who has to sit to talk to world leaders. Past that she’s never been a great public speaker and would face “well she’s been a senator for what? 15 minutes?” criticisms

Tammy Baldwin: A strongly feminist Democrat from a state Democrats normally win but lost in 2016 and want back badly. Having heard her speak she’s not amazing but pays the bills. Sadly for her she’s a lesbian, her sexuality, the electability of same, would likely take over her campaign, with people gun shy about “identity politics” it would likely handicap her against more well known candidates.

Amy Klobuchar: One of the longer serving Democratic Women in the Senate, Al Franken’s other half, a well established member of the establishment liberal wing of the party. She likely will suffer by not being as well known as others, she’s also awkward both physically and in speech, funny she’s just a little big too nerdy, to nasally, plus as an establishment woman she’s likely to rub Progressives the wrong way

Kirsten Gillibrand: Young, beautiful, experienced in the Senate and having built on a rock hard anti-Trump record, one of the one’s to watch, the connections to Hillary (a blonde NY Senator holding Hill’s old seat) likely will get those hardcore Hillary supporters behind her, but also runs the risks of setting off progressives, her hardcore anti-Trump stand and not having jumped into the Clinton campaign as forcefully as some may help

Kamala Harris: A lot of people see her as grown in a lab as an admixture of Obama and Hillary. Young, Beautiful, smart, well spoken, black multiethnic and coming out of the State that is framing itself as the anti-Trumpland. Kamala has downsides of course, first being no one is gonna know how to say her first name, but if Obama got over it so will she, second the “what she’s a been a senator for 5 minutes?” her race is likely to get people talking about “identity politics” though she’s managed to make a good case on that, likely her time as Cali AG will bring the wrath of some parts of BLM but we’ll see how much that matters

Too Slick by half

Andrew Cuomo: Governor of a major anti-Trump strong hold, managed to score some out of state progressive brownie points with a very public free college plan that had both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton next to him. However Cuomo is loathed by the progressive base of his state’s party and is seen by basically everyone in the know as a low-key political mobster, his New York sleaze factor is unlikely to go over well in Iowa or New Hampshire (just ask Chris Christie)

Gavin Newsom: Still young, still pretty Newsom has waited a long time to get from “rising star” to Star but he’s almost there, just has to manage to win the California governorship, but that seems pretty likely. Newsom has the record of granting gay marriages at the unthinkable time of 2004 which likely will buy him support of the LGBT community (or at least it’s professional activists) likewise he’s been pro-pot something likely to endear him to college students, much will depend on what he does with real power once Governor, and many will say that he’s only been in high office a year. Past that many again see Newsom as “establishment” making him not very popular with the left of his state party, how much this will be translated outside of Cali, if his slick California air and style will play poorly in eastern rural early primary states is hard to say

MHA dub commentary ep 9

  • “Hey you! Can you tell us what it’s like to work so closely with All Might?” the reporter asks Izuku, who would probably be the best person to answer this question if he weren’t protecting a secret and also didn’t have social anxiety up the everywhere
  • Ochako, asked the same question: uuuhhhh he’s…. got muscles?
  • Iida: improvises an entire speech about All Might and i’m honestly feeling a little attacked right now b/c this is basically me with Bakugou
  • reporter: brings up the sludge villain incident. Bakugou: WALK AWAY.* (*BEFORE I FUCKING BLOW YOUR ASS UP FOR MENTIONING THAT)
  • seriously that’s such a thinly veiled threat im 
  • Bakugou no
  • Aizawa looks more like a hobo than usual today. also he just shoos the reporters out like bothersome little pests i love it
  • random but i enjoy that the reporter lady is wearing slacks instead of a skirt
  • “Naturally, everybody wanted to get their hands on All Might” and then it cuts to Shigaraki
  • hah
  • also hi Shigaraki you…. creepy motherfucker. standing there all… menacingly…….
  • okay i’m just gonna say that fucking pun was intentional on narrator!Izuku’s part because there’s no way that was an accident
  • future adult narrator Izuku is this the time to be making bad puns about the villains coming to kill your teacher/mentor/father figure

Keep reading

Hey! I wrote a thing! 

Vacationland! (Read on ao3)

Pairing: nurseydex
Words: ~3600
Summary: Derek and Dex end up spending a week together. Alone. In Maine. At a lake house. This leads to some important conversations about relationships. 

___________

Derek was sitting on the edge of a dock on a lake in Maine wondering what the fuck happened in his life to bring him here. Well, actually he knew exactly what brought him here. He had mentioned casually in the Haus one day near the end of the semester than his parents were planning on going to Italy for a week for their anniversary, and, while he was invited along, he opted not to go so his moms could enjoy the vacation as a couple.

Keep reading

Top 10 Characters

Tagged by the amazing @do-you-even-kakasaku! Thanks for the tag, dude! I love doing these!

 ————-

 1. Hatake Kakashi (Naruto)
•Kakashi holds a dead place in my heart for a variety of reasons but I guess what makes him my top fave character is his nuance as a character. He’s grown as a person since he was a kiddo and although he’s not perfect, he strives to be the best person he can be. He’s one of the few characters in Naruto that’s learned from his mistakes and who’s tried to teach others how to avoid making them in the long run. Plus he loves dogs and reads smut with class, so yeah. He’s just amazing, tbh. He’s my expectation of the perfect man, lol. I absolutely adore this dude…it’s unhealthy but hey, most of the good stuff in life is.

Originally posted by shiroiraiha


2. Vash the Stampede (Trigun)
• Vash is honestly one of the newest characters that I’ve become acquainted with but he quickly become one of my all time favorites in a short amount of time. It’s hard to not love his quirky personality and his ability to go from goofball to extreme badass from 0 to 3. I love how he sticks to his sense of morality and principles throughout the series but what makes him great is how he understands that the world doesn’t always let everyone remain pure as they wish to be and sometimes, people have to go against certain beliefs in order to survive and do the right thing. HE’S JUST FUCKING PRECIOUS.

Originally posted by gameraboy


3. Agent Carolina (Red vs Blue)
•Red vs Blue has been a big series in my life and it’s honestly what’s driven me to choose animation as my career path. It may have started out as a comedy skit but it quickly evolved into an amazing story and Carolina is a character that became from said evolution. She’s an amazing woman, a badass whose fought and worked to be the best at what she does. Although her past was mostly her letting her competitive nature get the best of her, daddy issues and making stupid mistakes because of clouded judgement, she managed to grow as a person thanks to her interactions with the blundering buffoons known as the Reds and Blues. She learned about honor, forgiveness, friendship and love. And she still remains a badass even then. Woman goals, tbh.

Originally posted by seekerwing4


4. Roy Mustang (FMA: Brotherhood)
•Stoic dudes with amazing capabilities seems to be my type so I guess that and having Travis Willingham as his dub voice actor immediately made me fall in love with Roy when I first saw him. Eventually, I learned that there was more to him than meets the eye with the whole Maria Ross and Hughes incidents. Seeing him being able to overcome his burning desire for vengeance because of his desire to keep his friends and loved ones safe was honestly endearing and I ended up falling deeper in love with his character. He’s not perfect but he’s able to admit to those imperfections and work to make them strengths instead of weaknesses because he’s not the kind of dude who gives into defeat.

Originally posted by gif-fmab


5. Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)
•Criminal Minds is one of the few TV shows that I actively follow and this guy is one of the reasons why. Not only is Mathew such a great actor but Reid’s intelligence is portrayed in a manner that makes him lovable. Most of the time, shows depict prodigies and geniuses as sassy ‘know-it-all’s who only anger people with their rants and commentary. But Spencer is explored in a manner that reminds us that even intellectuals are human. Seeing his unique love story with Maeve, his attachments to JJ and Gideon and his mother, and his fear of dementia, we come to see Spencer as a character of nuance. He’s a beautiful human being who deserves lots of love and plenty of chess games. 

Originally posted by cmtrash


6. Ryuuji Takasu (Toradora)
• I first watched Toradora because I accidentally clicked on it while surfing an anime site for it and at first, I wasn’t so impressed with it. But before the first episode ended, I found myself loving this dude. He’s pretty average with nothing major to set him apart from the crowd (except his creepy little eyes) but the thing that makes his lovable is his dorkiness and his devotion to his friends and family. He’s selfless and kind and generous and that honestly speaks volumes for his character. Honestly, he’s the kind of friend that everybody wants but nobody ever truly deserves. (I just fucking love him)

Originally posted by ookaminouta


7. Kotetsu T. Kaburagi (Tiger and Bunny)
•Okay, let’s see….What can I say about this dude that won’t sound like a fangirl’s rant? XD
Kotetsu is honestly an amazing character; in a show where his partner is shown to be the epitome of perfection and angst, ol’ KTK may seem like nothing more than a old time past generation hero whose unwilling to let the shine of the spotlight go. But he’s so much more than that. He’s clumsy and awkward, sure, but he’s understanding and congenial. He doesn’t judge people because of their past or their mistakes; he knows better than anyone what that feels like so instead he tries to offer support and as much care that he can. He’s a great dad and despite the fact that he sometimes misses recitals or special occasions, his daughter is willing to admit that he’d do anything for her. Kotetsu strays from the typical “perfect anime dad” and is instead a reflection of real life dads who aren’t always perfect but are heroes in their own right because of their love and dedication to their kids and loved ones.

Originally posted by wild-tiger-in-the-sheets


8. Korosensei (Assassination Classroom)
•TEACHER GOALS. Even though he’s a weapon of mass destruction who can probably obliterate the Earth with a twitch of his pinkie, he’s still a lovable characters. He’s funny, badass when the moment calls for it, perverted and dedicated all in the same go. If there’s anything I learned from him, it’s that good teachers are flexible and they should strive to find the way to teach each student in their own individual manner. I mean, this dude taught one of his kids while cosplaying as Naruto because he knew that was the only way the dude would remember the concepts he was trying to teach. He was able to teach his kiddos how to tackle problems not just so they could get solutions but also to grow and develop as intelligent and competent individuals. Even though he was a threat to the Earth, his students all loved and respected him because he was able to connect with them individually. Despite being an assassin and failed lab experiment, this guys showed more heart and humanity than most people. He’s honestly amazing.

Originally posted by level-upper


9. Melan Blue (Brigadoon: Marin to Melan)
•Geez Louise it’s so hard to think of ways to describe how much I love this character. He’s one of those characters whose gentle af but ruthless and unforgiving on the battlefield. His lack of knowledge on humans allows for many mistakes to be made on his behalf but he makes up for it in sincerity. He may seem cold and distant to most but once he warms up to you, he’ll protect you with his life and will damn well make sure you’re content and at ease. I guess all I can say is that he’s just the perfect blend of adorableness, charisma, loyalty and badassery. I love this character to pieces. 

Originally posted by opendoorleia


10. Yami Yugi/Pharaoh Atem (Yu-Gi-Oh)
•This dude is a breath of fresh air, one of the reasons I even continued delving into the world of anime to begin with. Part of the charm of this character are his voice actors and albeit I’m not really a fan of the Japanese dub, Megumi Ogata and Shunsuke Kazama did a great job but my overall favorite one has to be Dan Green. He literally breathes life into this character and you can literally find yourself thinking that Dan Green is Yami Yugi. Anywho, Yami is just amazing. He’s fearless, wise, witty and intelligent. He has an aura that commands respect but at the same time, he’s considerate of his acquaintances and loved ones. Of course, the 4kidz version is more mellow than the manga but even then, this Yami manages to sorta keep true to his original portrayal’s will. At the start of the series, he’s proud and ruthless but as he spends time with Yugi, he becomes more considerate and it’s such a joy to see how much of an effect Yugi has on Yami. Once more, I love this guy to pieces.

Originally posted by live-while-were-young

AND OMG LOOK AT THIS GIF

Originally posted by blindia

They’re so precious. LIKE SO EFFING PRECIOUS.



AND NOW SOME HONORABLE MENTIONS. BECAUSE I AM LAME AND CANT LET SOME CHARACTERS GO WITHOUT SOME FORM OF MENTION:

First up is Hei (Darker Than Black)

Originally posted by mirayama

Then we have Kyoya Ootori (OHSHC)

Originally posted by ohshc-obsessive

Followed by Nicolas Brown (Gangsta)

Originally posted by thesupremekaiii

And Caboose (RvB)

Originally posted by cili-ai

And Sebastian (Black Butler)

Originally posted by littlebratciel

And Agent Washington or Agent Washingtub as Caboose fondly refers to him as (RvB)

Originally posted by private-biscuit

And Ill stop right there…because this is getting ridiculous.

SO YEP

LO AND BEHOLD MARI’S FAVORITE CHARACTERS.

EVER.

OF ALL TIME.

The Pine Tree

A/N: Heyyy guys long time no see? Yes, writing this latest chapter was like wresting a rattlesnake while balancing a few ceramic plates on top of my head, but here it is! Plus I already started working on the new one, so hopefully it’ll be out relatively soon. In the meantime, enjoy this small detour before the plot rears its ugly head again. 

Au by @doodledrawsthings, based on Flat Dreams by @pengychan.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

“Hey, who’s the new guy? He’s kinda cute.”

Dipper tore his eyes away from the book he was reading to stare at Wendy in mute horror. She was glancing from the corner of her eye at Bill, who had taken the opportunity to rearrange all the snow globes on the shelves as a petty way to spite Grunkle Stan. Why they even let Bill into the gift shop was anyone’s guess. So far, all he managed to do was to scare away customers and give everyone a headache. No one recognized him so far, which was a good thing, but most of these people were just passing through the town anyway, and had no idea about the disaster that took place last summer.

Wendy had just come back from a hiking vacation with her family, and since nobody expected her to be back so soon, they had no idea what to do with Bill. Dipper assumed they would have to tell her eventually, seeing how she was a regular employee, and was definitely smart enough to connect the dots by herself at some point. Better to warn her ahead of time than to wait until she dragged in an exorcist or something. Not that Dipper though it would work. At all.

But Hearing his past crush call the devil in disguise “cute” was something vaguely traumatic. And it showed, because Wendy suddenly looked concerned. “Hey Dipper, are you okay? You look like you’ve just seen Stan in his underwear again.”

Keep reading

Lover Boy

Summary: Iggy sees Mickey kiss Ian, and confronts Mickey in the most supportive way. He then invited Ian over and tells Ian what Mickey told him. It ends in fluff.

Word Count: 1661

Notes: Thank you for over 1,000 followers! Love you guys so much!


All day, Ian’s last words to him had been running through Mickey’s head. “He isn’t afraid to kiss me.” Mickey did everything he could to stop thinking about the stupid redhead, but nothing worked— he even dreamed about him.

As Ian drove Mickey, Iggy, and Jamie to that nasty geriatric viagroid’s house that he had been fucking, Mickey accidentally kept sneaking glances at the redhead. Luckily his brothers were dozed off in a world of their own and way too dumb to figure anything out, or so he thought.

Once they arrived to their destination of the huge ass mansion, the Milkovich boys started stocking up on guns and ammunition. When Ian realized, he immediately stopped them. “Hey, no! Guys! Guys! No fucking guns, alright? It’s just a drunk old lady in there,” he spoke with a stern look in his eyes.

Being that Mickey practically listened to everything the redhead had to say, he nodded his head. “Come on,” he said to his brothers and put his hands out for them to hand over the weapons.

The three Milkovich’s started to make their way into the house, but all the was flooding through Mickey’s mind was Ian. This is that fucking old geezer’s house. I’m no pussy, I gotta show Ian that. I’m better than that creepy fucking asshole. With those thoughts, he told the other two boys he’d be in in a second, and ran back to the van— not paying attention to if his brother entered the house or not. Luckily the door was left open, allowing Mickey easy access to swing in the car and plant a chaste kiss on Ian’s lips. Though it was quick, they both could feel sparks flying between them. Mickey then proceeded to run back out of the van with a slight grin, chucking his finger at the cute ginger boy.

Ian was smiling like an idiot. He could not believe that Mickey, the most stubborn person in the Southside, had finally given in, and kissed him. The time in the van, where he was left in blissful thoughts, went way faster than expected though.

Suddenly a gunshot came from inside the house. A few seconds later, Mickey came running out of the house with Iggy. On the way back to the van, a bullet lodged itself into the side of Mickey’s ass. “No fucking way!” He hopped back to the vehicle. When he got in he yelled for Ian to drive.

“You got shot, Mickey!” Ian said with astonishment in his voice. He wasn’t necessarily scared, but he was a little wigged out.

“Yes, I fucking know I got shot,” Mickey replied cockily, and Ian finally started to drive away.

What both boys did not notice was the intent look that Iggy was shooting at them. The older Milkovich boy was completely not affected by the gunshot in his brother’s ass— right now he was focused on Ian and Mickey.

* * *

Later that day when Mickey had returned home from the Gallagher house, where his wound was stitched up, Iggy was waiting for him with a beer in his hand. It was odd, it wasn’t like anyone of the Milkovich family ever really bonded or some shit. Mickey raised his eyebrow and took the beer.

Iggy motioned for him to sit on the couch with him and play videogames, so Mickey obliged. They played for a little, but the dark haired boy kept noticing how his brother was peaking quick glances at him every couple minutes. Once enough was enough, Mickey through his remote onto the couch. “Okay, dickwad. Why the fuck do you keep staring at me?”

“Just thinkin,’” Iggy shrugged. His expression was completely unreadable.

“No, what the fuck?” Mickey stood up in confusion.

Iggy lightly chuckled. “I’m trying to figure out the what that redhead sees in you,” he shook his head jokingly.

Mickey’s eyes widen and it felt like he stopped breathing for a second. Holy fucking shit. “What? Who? I don’t even know a fucking redhead,” he babbled in his most convincing tone. He had to make sure he did not make eye contact with his brother or else he might be giving it away.

“Dude, I’m not fucking blind. You’re totally fucking that Gallagher kid,” Iggy said nonchalantly. As Mickey scoffed, Iggy spoke again to cut him off from more lies. “I won’t tell Dad.”

“I-I–” Mickey starts but gets cut off once again.

“Truthfully, I don’t think it really matters who anyone fucks. I’d fuck a dude if they could get me hard. So I say, fuck whatever you need to,” he spoke in an inspirational tone. Anyone else would think it was bullshit, but this was a lot coming from Iggy.

Mickey gulped. “I’m not fucking gay,” he spat.

“Shut the fuck up, dumbass. You’ve been gay since you were born. When we were young and shared a room, you used to talk about guys in your fucking sleep. Plus, I saw you kiss him today when we were at the rich fuck’s house,” Iggy said to his brother and took another swig of his beer. He was acting like it really didn’t matter to him.

Mickey shut his eyes. “Alright,” is all he said. He was completely taken aback by everything that just happened.

“Just tell me one thing,” Iggy said in an actual sincere voice. “I know how you are— you don’t do relationships, and you don’t kiss people. You love him?”

Mickey’s breath hitched at the question, but he found that there was no use in lying anymore. “Yeah,” he said quietly, still avoiding eye contact.

Iggy smirked. “Call your lover boy to come over. Bet I could beat his ass in Call of Duty.” He smirked with an undeniable self confidence.

Mickey jaw dropped open for a second. “I am not fucking calling him to come over—”

Before Mickey could add anything, Iggy grabbed his younger brother’s cell phone and searched for the contact name. Mickey tried swatting the phone out of Iggy’s hands, but this was a time when his short stature was a major disadvantage because he couldn’t reach it due to the fact that Iggy stood up on a chair. “Gallagher! Come over here. Mick wants to see you.” He paused and listened to Ian’s response. “Great. See you soon!”

“Fuck you!” Mickey shouted at his brother.

* * *

About fifteen minutes after Iggy had gotten off of the phone with Ian, a knock came on the door. Iggy jumped off the couch and swung the front door open. “Lover boy, come in,” he said in a silly voice.

Ian looked from Iggy to Mickey with a very confused look. He had no clue what was going on. Mickey was sitting on the couch tapping his foot with his head in his hands. He looked very aggravated. “What the fuck?”

“Sit,” Iggy said and pointed at the spot next to the darker haired Milkovich boy. “You play me in Call of Duty. If you win, I leave you and Mickey alone. If not, I don’t. But first I get the weed,” he went to go retreat the drugs,

Ian turned to Mickey with an expectant expression. Mickey just shrugged and looked at him in a way that says, just do what he says.

Iggy returned fairly quickly with a boat load of marijuana. He rolled a blunt and took a hit before passing it off to Ian. Without any words, Iggy started playing the XBox, and so did Ian. It started off competitively, but as the time went on and they got more high, it got more and more lazy. After about a half hour of playing, they were stoned, and so was Mickey.

“So why am I here?” Ian said as he took another hit.

Iggy threw his controller on the couch next to him. “I forgot! I told you to come because I found out about you and Mickey. I think it’s great, you guys seem good for each other. Did you know Mickey loves you?” Ian and Mickey’s eyes widen at the question.

Quickly, Mickey steals the controller from Ian’s hand, and shoots Iggy’s player. “Oh, shit, Ig. You lost— go the fuck away.”

Iggy’s jaw dropped. “Motherfucker! You tricked me,” he narrowed his eyes at the couple on the couch. “I’ll leave you two alone though. I’m fuckin’ tired,” he said and then got up and headed towards his bedroom.

Mickey looked at Ian with an embarrassed and bashful expression. “Y-you love me?” Ian asked in astonishment. When Mickey nodded, a smile plastered across Ian’s face. “I love you too, Mick.” He leaned forward and kissed the boy.

Mickey grabbed Ian’s face and deepened the kiss. When their faces separated the slightest bit, he felt Ian smile into his mouth. “Wanna sleep here tonight? It’ll just be us and that dumbass.”

Ian nodded. “Fuck yes,” he said with excitement.

Before standing up, Mickey grabbed Ian’s hand and let out a soft smile. He then stood up and led Ian into his bedroom. Each boy stripped down to their boxers and crawled into the bed. Almost absentmindedly, Mickey wrapped his arms around the taller boy.

Ian could not stop smiling as Mickey cuddled him, then the realization him. “Wait, how the fuck did Iggy find out?”

“The fucker saw me kiss you,” Mickey mumbled into Ian’s chest. He then looked up to Ian’s happy face, and his heart melted. Slowly, he closed the gap between their faces with a kiss. “I’m glad he knows.”

Ian nodded. “Me too.”

“Love you. Good night.” Mickey shoved his face back into Ian’s chest, and inhaled his scent.

Ian couldn’t help but let out a giddy laugh. “I love you too. Good night.” He kissed the top off Mickey’s head and tightened his grip around him. They then fell asleep in each other’s arms, with a new outlook on their relationship— it wasn’t impossible.

cast your spell so you can rule me

Lance caught his eye, mouth slack with liquor. This close, Keith could see the light spattering of freckles over his nose, could smell the alcohol on his breath. The taller boy winked.

Christ.

Or: the appendages of Voltron are all little shits, and Coran needs to hide his space booze better

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“Never ever…played this game before?” Keith tried.

Surprise overtook all of their faces, but it was Lance who felt the need voice his dismay. “First of all—” he raised a finger, “—it’s never have I ever. Second, what do you mean you’ve never played this before?”

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TL;DT at bottom

Last couple days have been a nightmare.
Tuesday- assistant manager tells me all the mid tasks are done and I just need to worry about my closing tasks. Cool. Turns out literally NONE of the tasks were done. Not one. And that morning the store was closed for an extra 4 hours because the company’s update on our POS system crashed, people were not happy. So I finish them, whatever. I start my period literally 45 minutes from when my shift started. EVEN BETTER. A girl who is in training calls and says she’s going to be late. How late? She can’t give me an estimate. Phone rings again, my closer’s car broke down and she might be late (at least she called an hour ahead).
Wednesday-talk to my manager about the previous day, her response “oh I’m so sorry I was in a meeting with our district manager” THEN EHY DID YOU TELL ME THEY WERE DONE? I had to do her tasks at the end of the night before! Plus I had two girls who hate each other and I have to try and keep them separated in a small bar area where everyone is literally within five feet of each other for 8 hours. And listen to them bitch about one another (love the drama, hate that I’m their supervisor )
Thursday- my fiance is sick and I’ve been up all night and morning taking care of him. Guess what, allergies weren’t allergies I have a cold now. Can’t call in because every supervisor is working or unavailable (yet I signed a contract stating I wouldn’t go to work sick?) Anyways go in and everything is a disaster. The lobby is gross, trash overfilled, lines of customers who are all upset. Midday shift hands me the keys to the store and takes her break. Before I clocked in. I still had my purse on my shoulder and sunglasses on my head. No apron either. Jump right in and it’s like everyone wants to talk to the manager. All I want to do is get my coworkers in order and figure out what happened and how can I make everything fluid again. But instead I have to run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to talk to angry customers and also help make drinks and get everyone’s food. End of the day I was dead.
Friday- Lady calls and wants her receipt from two days ago. Can’t remember her order or what time she came in (literally the only two ways I can search for it) finally found it after ten minutes and she asked if I could mail it to her. Now I am a lowly employee who is in charge of smaller employees at a retail cafe. Plus that isn’t even a thing. I told her she would have to come by and we could print it. Says shell swing by tonight. Never came. I finally take my lunch and I’m already sick, pmsing, and slept maybe 8 hours in the last 3 days combined. It’s the first time this week I actually sit down and try to enjoy my 30 minute break. Not one, not two, but three employees needed me. One for a void on a transaction (which could have waited until I came back),two a customer wanted to know the ingredients in a drink (the person on POS could have told me instead of saying a customer wanted to speak with me), three an employee wanted to know how to make something but literally the directions are on the packet. Ended up telling everyone to leave me the fuck alone and me and one other girl (who is a dear friend of mine) and I got into a screaming fit in the back room.
Saturday (today): tried to request the day off two months ago but my manager said already four people requested it off. It’s the two year anniversary of my father’s death and I would love to spend it with my family (we’re an emotional group). No can do. AND TO TOP THE LIST! Literally right after I clock on and get on the floor I hear screaming coming from the drive thru window. It was along the lines of: “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! I HAVNT SEEN YOU BEFORE! EVERYONE HERE KNOWS MY ORDER!” Fortunately another supervisor was there and she said she’d handle it. THANK GOD! I still hear screaming and cussing so I decide to come over and see what the problem was because everyone in our lobby was looking over the counter, watching as this chick was trying to open her car door. I told her she needed to calm down and lower her voice, TWICE. I almost brought out my phone so if she did try to jump through our window I had evidence (AND A YOUTUBE VIDEO). She scoffed and sat back down in her car and bitched about how rude I was and how rude the other girl was and she’s a regular how dare we treat her like this (she’s like this EVERY morning. She has a reputation yet our manager won’t ban her). Anyways go on about the day and try to push to the finish line. Guy come by walks slightly behind the counter to grab a broom (TOTAL NO GO ZONE. I WAS HERE WHEN MY STORE WAS ROBBED DO NOT COME BEHIND THE COUNTER!). So I said the typical “sir, can I HELP you?” “Well I’d didnt want to have your girls clean the men’s room.” First of all our two restrooms are gender neutral because they are singles. Second, I’ve cleaned vomit from sinks, clogged toilets, period blood, shit on the floors, piss, and whatever that thing was in the corner. Third of all, and have I mentioned it, DONT GO BEHIND MY COINTER. Dude also looked like a drug dealer who would sell you an ounce of weed for $5 or a ride to the nearest 711. Then another guy came in and one of the girls told me a couple of nights ago her and a male friend were at a nearby gasstation and he made sexual motions towards her. So I told her to go into the back room take her break and I’ll keep an eye on him. I walk by him later in the night and he tried to say something to me. Fortunately my fiance was there and told him “don’t talk to her”. Shut his ass down fast. My fiance is NOT a fighter but if someone is making me uncomfortable he will shut that shit down. He’s amazing like that. So the rest of the night my fiance say at the table closest to my register so he can keep an eye on the creeper. FIANLLY 3 MINUTES UNTIL CLOSING and a MOB of people come in wanting drinks upon drinks. I take their orders and tell everyone in the lobby if they’re not waiting on their order they need to leave and the store is officially closed. Crepper dude comes up and my fiance snaps up and goes between us and he’s like “yo I just want to use the restroom” YA! “no sire the store is officially closed.” And just as if someone answered my prayers because a security guard came in and escorted that specific person out of the store. Just so happens during his smoke break my fiance had a chit chat with the security guard.
Good news is a competition company wants to take me with better paid, same benefits, longer lunch, as a supervisor with the same schedule and hours, and my store manager could possible be my old supervisor (who I replaced) who actually appreciates my hard work and is also a friend of mine. Honestly if she gets that promotion I’m gone from this stupid ass company. Only thing keeping me is it’s two cities away (managable but my car broke down and my only method of transportation is by train. And I’d be closing at the dead of night taking the train where there’s been a LOT of crime.)

TL;DR: Week was one of the roughest. Ended up with some lady screaming bloody murder over a $5 drink. Fiance had to fend off this creepy ass guy. Managers suck. Customers suck. But I might get a better job that’s exactly the same but o get more out of it.

12x15: Hugs for Crowley 2k17

Davy Perez, we’re keeping you.

So, let’s get to it!

THE BROTHERS:

  • Dean Germaphobe Winchester not giving a crap that he’s covered in all kinds of goo — you know something’s really wrong with him.
    • He had a very Purgatoryesque vibe to him, which is interesting considering his interactions with Ketch in 12x14. Last episode, Ketch tried to convince Dean that he’s a killer and then there was the whole vampire hunt fiasco. Dean was wholly unimpressed with Ketch, and we know a huge part of that is because Dean’s a hunter not a killer, and there’s a distinct difference. (Like Sam says at the end of 12x14, hunting is cops and robbers. It’s not a kiling spree.)

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Family Gatherings

This is pure self indulgent fluff. Also the Phone Fic that I keep bloging about. Can be found here on my ao3!
Rating: PG (Mild language)
Words: 5,112
Gen


Family gatherings are not words generally associated with the individuals who make up Gotham’s vigilantes. Strategy meetings, subterfuge, infighting, assassin, spy, creepy, know it all. These are terms they are well versed in. This is why the text message that Bruce sent out at 9 am on Saturday was such a surprise.

I request that all of you come to the manor for a family gathering at 7. Alfred will be serving dinner promptly at 7:30. What the hell is that supposed to mean Tim?!” Dick could practically hear his little brother shrugging on the other end of the phone.

“I dunno. Maybe he wants to go over his will.”

“That’s not funny and you know it.”

“C'mon Dick! Like you have a better explanation?”

Dick sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “No. Do you think everyone will come?”

“I know Steph and Harper will out of pure curiosity. Everyone else,” Tim paused and took a deep breath, releasing the rest of his sentence on the exhale, “who knows.”

Dick nodded, not really caring that he couldn’t be seen as habit was habit. “Ok. Well Damian will be, Cass for sure, Babs is going to be there cause she hates being out of the loop, Jason…” Dick trailed off, looking down at his bare feet. He’d woken to find the text blinking at him from a half dead phone screen. Knowing that he’d have seen it already too Dick immediately called Tim and had been pacing around the apartment in his pajamas with the now nearly dead cell to his ear.

“Yeah,” Tim said empathically.

“Maybe he’ll come for Alfred?” Dick tried.

“You know him better than I do.”

“You’re right. And I don’t even know why he does half the things he does. I’ve gotta charge my phone. I’ll see you later?”

Tim snorted. “Of course you do. Alright, yeah. I’m meeting up with Tam soon anyway. Bye.”

“Bye,” Dick frowned at the phone. Now that the call with Tim had ended it had returned to the group chat Bruce had sent his text in. Not a single person had replied and Bruce likely didn’t expect them to. Just that they showed up. He stuck it on a charger in the living room and went to get a shower. After breakfast Dick collapsed onto the couch. Having wrapped up a case the night before he decided to reward himself with some video games.

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What I would love to see out of a redemption arc in Episode VIII and IX

I think I may have mentioned in my introductory post that I’m a mother of a large family. Six kids, five of them boys. And my little boys love Kylo Ren. I mean really love him. This morning on the way to church my five year old was insisting that his Kylo Tsum Tsum come with him and ride in his pocket.

So I realize that at least one reason that I would love to see a redemption arc is how amazing would it be for a badass villain to redeem himself and become just as badass for the forces of good? Because I think it would be really cool for my children, especially my little boys who love Kylo Ren and Darth Vader to see the cool bad guy become a cool good guy. I don’t want them to see evil as cool. Snoke is evil. Snoke is not cool. I want them to see that all of the things that make Vader and Kylo cool, all of that power, can be directed to something better than the tyrannical whims of creepy old dudes. 

But the other reason I would love a redemption arc is because of the possibilities for romantic Reylo. Yes, Rey could experience sexual attraction even to an unredeemed Kylo, and I love a lot of the fanfics that explore that, but outright love of the lasting sort has to be based on mutual understanding and respect. I can’t see that without a redemption arc for Kylo/Ben. 

But what I find really cool, and I hope happens, and I hope doesn’t get screwed up, is the possibility for the one of the best examples of a positive vision of romance since The Incredibles. 

Stay with me here.

The Incredibles is one of the best movies about marriage ever. You have an amazing romance between two super-powered people. Neither needs the other. Elastigirl didn’t need a husband to provide for her. Mr. Incredible was probably perfectly able to take care of himself, or at least use restaurants and drycleaners. Look at their mottoes. Mr Incredible says it repeatedly: “I work alone.” Elastigirl is a strong confident woman who can save the world without help, thank you very much.

Originally posted by profeminist

But then the avalanche of lawsuits drives the pair into living out their “secret identities as their only identities” and it fits them like a badly cut suit. Helen Parr was never meant to be a housewife. Bob Parr was never meant to be a wage slave in Cubeville. More importantly, neither was ever meant to live an utterly separate life from the other. Helen would not have been any happier if she had a “meaningful career”. She and Bob had met and fell in love as super heroes. They both were meant to battle evil. But neither had come to terms with what it meant to do so as husband and wife. 

Enter a whole lotta plot. It takes most of the movie for them to figure out that their family is more than the sum of their parts. The complementarity that has been clear to the audience from the beginning finally starts to become apparent to the Parrs as they reach the climax of the story.

Bob is preparing to fight Syndrome and the Omnidroid. He tries to keep Helen and the kids out of the fight. Helen is justifiably upset. 

Elastigirl: While what? I watch helplessly from the sidelines? I don’t think so.

Mr. Incredible: I’m asking you to wait with the kids.

Elastigirl: And I’m telling you, not a chance. You’re my husband, I’m with you - for better or worse.

Mr. Incredible: I have to do this alone.

Elastigirl: What is this to you? Playtime?

Mr. Incredible: No.

Elastigirl: So you can be Mr. Incredible again?

Mr. Incredible: No!

Elastigirl: Then what? What is it?

Mr. Incredible: I’m not…

Elastigirl: Not what?

Mr. Incredible: Not… I’m not strong enough.

Elastigirl: Strong enough? And this will make you stronger?

Mr. Incredible: Yes. No!

Elastigirl: That’s what this is? Some sort of work out?

And then Bob responds with unexpected vulnerability.

And this is the lovely moment where Helen replies that if they work together, he won’t have to be strong enough to face losing her.

This is what marriage is supposed to be. Two people with different but complementary strengths forming a union where they work together toward a common goal. It’s amazing that an animated film got marriage right where so many live action films can’t even come close.

Back to Rey and Kylo/Ben.

I love the idea of romantic Reylo because it has the potential to have a dynamic as good as Bob and Helen Parr. They’re both super-powered. They have a remarkable degree of complementarity in their talents (at least from the little we’ve gleaned on EA game leaks and inference from Rey’s latent abilities). Tell me they would be awesome to see battling together on the same team. And that only happens if there’s a redemption arc. 

Eros is powerful thing, but it generally isn’t lauded for its salvific qualities. If Ben is brought back from the dark side and finds balance, its going to be through the compassion and vulnerability of something deeper. Don’t get me wrong, I want the attraction as well, but the friendship (philia), the affection (storge), the selfless love (agape) also need to be there. So whatever would be present would actually be a much better, fuller romance than the previous Star Wars romances.

Look at Anidala. I love them. I really do. But they were a trainwreck. There was mutual attraction aplenty, and some real affection, but there was no common ground on which to form friendship. (Quick clarification: friends share common interests. Familial relationships can survive on long acquaintance, and this is why we still love some friends even after we lose common interests. They have become like family, who we love even when we don’t like them.) 

Han and Leia were a different kind of trainwreck. Again, mutual attraction. And so long as they had the Rebellion, they had common ground. But the end of the war brought that common ground to an end. Leia put the Republic before everything, including her family. Han was home more than he would have been otherwise, but he was still away a lot. They just didn’t have a common life. And Ben suffers for that. Neither parent is really there for him when he needs it. 

Reylo could be something really different. Not just a romance, but a romance between equals who understand each other completely, and who are united by common talents in a common cause. They could be like Mr Incredible and Elastigirl, working better as a couple than they could as individuals, and better as a family then they could as a couple. Because with their common history of isolation, neither would want their children to have absentee parents. Working a “family business” as magic space knights might actually be a possibility where self-actualization is not achieved at the detriment of family but instead enhances the family. 

Am I being too optimistic? Probably. But if Pixar can pull it off, I see no reason why LucasFilm couldn’t.

But there you are. Why I really want a redemption arc to be part of the endgame. Because I want my little boys to see a cool bad guy turn into an equally cool good guy and see that it’s not the evil that’s awesome, it’s the power that is so much better when it’s in service to something worthy. Because I don’t want Rey to be stuck in the role of striking down the bad guy (at least, not the relatable bad guy) when she could be showing that real power doesn’t come from a magic sword, but from compassion and courage, qualities that aren’t restricted to magic space knights. And because if romantic Reylo is a thing, it could be the most positive and balanced relationship I’ve seen on screen since The Incredibles. The potential is there. I’m hoping those involved in creating this see that same potential. 

anonymous asked:

The "my friend tried to take a pic of you on snapchat and the flash went off" one looks fun, :D

“my friend thought you were cute so she tried to take a picture of you for snapchat and her flash went off but when you looked our way she shoved her phone into my hands and nOW YOU THINK IT’S ME AND OH GOD PLS DON’T BE MAD” au

Whoops I turned this into a Cap!Steve, modern!Bucky AU.

– –

“He’s cute,” Becca says, sipping her frapuccino.

“Blondie?” Bucky asks, wiping down a counter.

“Mm-hmm,” Becca says, pulling her phone from her apron pocket and tapping.

It’s a quiet afternoon at their parents’ bookstore/coffee bar (because their aging hippie parents were the original hipsters) and the blond guy is one of four people in the café area, quietly drinking a mug of coffee and reading a newspaper on one of the mismatched couches they honestly hauled in from Craigslist Curbside back when they moved back to Brooklyn from the upstate farm — their parents raised goats — a few years ago.  If Bucky didn’t live/sleep/breathe the place, he’d think it was charming.

That being said, he’s spending his Saturday evening watching some dude read the newspaper, then will sneak over to Kate’s so he can watch Saturday Night Live at her place, since his parents don’t pay for cable or Internet. (Though they’re considering getting wifi for the café.) So, he doesn’t find it charming at all.

Anyhow, this isn’t the first time that tall, handsome and blond has been here. He mostly comes in the evenings, orders a black coffee, and reads the paper. He doesn’t talk a whole lot, but he tips well. Bucky likes him.

“I’m gonna snap him to Jamie.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. He, of course, doesn’t have a smart phone. Becca, on the other hand, was gifted one by Jamie at their alternative Brooklyn high school for the children of aging hippies or the rich but weird group. Jamie hails from the latter category, and needed a way to keep in touch with her friend from the former, which is how she got on Jamie’s family plan while Bucky has a flip phone he thinks was manufactured in 2002.

He’s so busy fuming that he doesn’t really realize how creepy it is to be taking a picture of their customer until Becca’s flash goes off, obvious and obnoxious in the dim light of the café. Bucky cringes as the blond guy blinks, almost confused and hurt as he looks over at the counter.  “Becca,” Bucky hisses as the blond guy stands up from his seat, and starts to walk towards him.

Becca makes a small “eep” and tosses something into the air. Reflexively, Bucky catches it, realizing that it’s Becca’s iPhone just as the guy reaches the counter.

“Excuse me,” the guy says. “Did you just take my photo?” He looks half-nervous, half-angry, eyebrows furrowed with a little unhappy frown.

“Uh,” Bucky responds, shooting a glance at Becca, currently crouched behind the counter. She levels him with her best ‘you are my big brother and I am your younger sister and you must protect me from very attractive blond men, even though I did something creepy and got caught because true love, bro, true love’ wide-eyed look.

There are times Bucky wishes he were an only child.

“Okay, okay, so I know. Seriously creepy, right? But the thing is, my friend was here the other day and she said that you were flirting with me and I told her you totally weren’t, but then she told me to tell her if you came back, but then she said she wanted photographic evidence, so I sent her a Snap… uh… Snappat…” He can see Becca facepalm from the periphery, but this wouldn’t be a problem if he had a smartphone in the first place.

It takes him a moment or two, but then blondie cracks a little smile. “So you just sent a photo to your friend?” Bucky nods. “Alright… that’s… okay, just. Don’t put it on social media or anything, okay?”

“Dude, I wouldn’t even if I had access to— ow.” Becca kicks him in the shin. Bucky looks down and sighs. “Wouldn’t do that. Honestly, we don’t have any social media at this place. Maybe we’d make an account if some celebrity came in, but that’d require us to get wifi, which we probably won’t.  And it’s not even like you’re some kinda celebrity, right? Just, uh, cute.” he adds, a stupid joke, tacking on a little fake laugh to the end as his cheeks go red.

The guy’s smile gets a little bigger. “Nope,” he says. “I’m just a kid from Brooklyn.”

“Me too,” Bucky says. “Also an upstate goat farm, but I don’t talk about that much.”

Blondie laughs. “So,” he says. “About you asking me out?”

“You interested?” Bucky asks.

The guy shrugs. “Maybe.” He reaches out a hand. “I’m Steve,” he says.

“Bucky.”

“When’s your shift over?”

“Well, my coworker kinda owes me, so I can be off whenever.”

And that’s how Bucky Barnes, former goat farmer, current barista, ends up dating Steve Rogers, Captain America.

And this probably wouldn’t have happened had Bucky had a smart phone and thereby access to photographs of Steve Rogers in the first place.

(Also probably wouldn’t have happened if Becca paid attention to current events with her obviously undeserved smart phone and recognized Steve Rogers in the first place.)

Either way, he got a pretty kickass boyfriend out of it, so. Probably okay.

12x16: Grey Areas

So I’ve decided to consider 12x05 a mulligan for Meredith Glynn. I don’t think it was ever destined to be one of the great episodes of the series, but I think that we have such a warped view of it because of everything else in the world. And with 12x11 and 12x16, I think she’s proven she’s a competent writer.

So, review time!

There’s a lot to talk about with this episode, so I’m sure I missed things, but I also know I’ll probably be reblogging things this week, so… *shrug* It’ll all be covered eventually.

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The Lightning Thief Act 1 Lyric Starters
  • “The gods are real, like the Greek gods, like the ones you learned about but weren’t paying attention to.”
  • “The gods have godly things to do, godly places they need to see, godly plans they need to make that don’t include me.”
  • “Yeah, the Gods are real and they have kids, and those kids have issues.”
  • “Daddy doesn’t love me and mommy is a god.”
  • “Daddy is too busy being a god.”
  • “You never listen to me. Now, you’re gonna listen ‘cause it’s time you heard our side of the story.”
  • “Look, I didn’t wanna be a half-blood.”
  • “Being a half-blood, it’s scary. It mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways.”
  • “Maybe you don’t know what a half-blood is because your life is normal and happy and not constantly in danger, but my life?” she/he/they snorted.
  • “Is it me or is Greek mythology not deeply weird?”
  • “Umm… I didn’t know what just had happened, Was that all a creepy, crazy dream?”
  • “But it wasn’t my fault, it was _______! S/he lured me away, s/he attacked me, and… you saw it!”
  • “Perhaps it’s for the best. This wasn’t the place for you, it was only a matter of time before–”
  • “You think I’m trouble just like everyone else.”
  • “I can only accept the best from you, Percy. Someday you’ll understand why. I’m truly sorry.”
  • “Stick around and maybe you’ll learn from me.”
  • “Who cares? We’re better off without him.”
  • “______, s/he didn’t have a choice. S/he wanted to meet you, and s/he warned me that things might be hard if you were like him/her.”
  • “Sorry, ______. If I was only… normal.”
  • “Normal is a myth. Everyone has issues they’re dealing with.”
  • “The things that make you different are the very things that make you strong.”
  • “Just hang on, ______. One day you’ll find you’ll leave that boring little life behind.”
  • “You’re the one it’s after, ______. I love you so much. On three: one, two, run!”
  • “Is this real? Am I dead or am I dreaming?”
  • “What belongs to the sea can always return to the sea.”
  • Is she real? I must be dreaming, she’s floating close to me like an angel or it’s seeming. This is weird, but a good weird, they thought though their half-asleep haze. I’ve never seen a face as beautiful as–
  • “You drool when your sleep.”
  • “Oh, you’re alive. I suppose that’s good news for you, but it means a lot more paperwork for me. So don’t expect me to be happy to see you. Of course, being alive is temporary. So, maybe if I go away and play _______ for an hour, things might improve.”
  • “Just another terrible day at __________, where everything’s the worst.”
  • “Now that you blessed us go talk to _______ before I take a knife to my head and start stabbing!”
  • “You can hate here, BUT I HATED IT FIRST.”
  • “Grover said s/he fought bravely, but a mortal woman/man against a minotaur…”
  • “It wasn’t a dream? She’s really gone?”
  • “Well, it’s my fault! She was trying to protect me.”
  • “You mustn’t blame yourself.”
  • “You say the gods are real? So, how could they let that happen?”
  • “I’m afraid there are some questions only the gods themselves can answer.”
  • “So if my dad/mom’s a god, I’d like to know which one. S/he’s got a lot to answer for.”
  • “It could be… that is to say, the prophecies suggest… But, that’s impossible. See you at dinner, ______.”
  • “I have a special job for you. Go to the boys’/girls’ bathroom and stay there. It’s your first day, we don’t want you messing this up.”
  • “Heard you were tough. But you don’t look it.”
  • “Maybe the ________ died from a case of laughing too hard from seeing your stupid face.”
  • “You got some issue with me, it’s pretty clear.”
  • “Come on, grab some ambrosia, and let the nectar flow.”
  • “Oh, things couldn’t be worse when your parents run the universe.”
  • “When your dad’s a god, life can be tough. I met the guy once, and once was enough.”
  • “Oh, we’re all friends here. Come on, give it a shot.”
  • “A lot of half-bloods never know their godly parent.”
  • “So my dad is some god, that’s great I guess. Too bad he’s the worst, and my life is a mess.”
  • “I hope he shows even a trace cause I got some choice words to throw in his face!”
  • “I don’t care where our parents may be, as long as you are here with me.”
  • “Approach, child. I am the spirit of Delphi, the speaker of the prophecies of Thebes Apollo. Approach, and face your destiny.”
  • “You shall be betrayed by one who calls you friend… and you shall fail to save what matters most in the end.”
  • “Everything I ever do is wrong; never find where I belong!”
  • “Don’t act up, don’t act out, be strong.”
  • “I keep my head down, I keep my chin up. But it ends up all the same, with, ‘Pack your bags, _____, you’re always to blame!’”
  • “I never tried to do anything, I never mean to hurt anyone! I swear– I swear that I’m a good kid!”
  • “But no one ever will take my side, all I ever do is take the fall!”
  • “I swear that I’m a good kid! … Yes, I’m good for nothing at all.”
  • “_____, was a world class jerk dad, was never there.”
  • “The only family that really mattered? Well, she/he/they vanished into the air.”
  • “And now I finally find a haven, someplace safe, where I can stay, 'till it’s, ‘Pack your bags, ______. Now go away!’”
  • “No one ever tells me that they’re proud. No one ever asks me, ‘______, how’d you like to come round and stay?’”
  • “I swear I never stole anything…”
  • “I swear that I’m a good kid… A good kid, who’s had a bad run.”
  • “All I need is one last chance… to prove I’m good enough for someone.”
  • “Yeah, I’ll do it, not cause my dad needs me. He’s been less of a dad, and more absentee. But if my mom’s alive, that’s where she’s bound to be.”
  • “Hades took ______, I’m taking her/him/them back. So what if no one’s come back from the Underworld? I’ll be the first.”
  • “_______, I can’t ask you to come.”
  • “You’re my best friend, dude, so don’t get mad: but I suspect you’ll need protecting when things get bad.”
  • “This kicking quest may be the best chance I’ve had to put my past behind me.”
  • “You need me too, ______. If you’re going to save the world, I’m the best person to keep you from messing up.”

Act 2

Fixer-Upper

Clotpolesonly - A bit of a throwback fic! I tried to put in stuff you mentioned enjoying, so fingers crossed it hits the spot :)

by @troubleiwant 

Explicit - no warnings

Post-S2 divergence with no Alpha Pack and nobody dead, just rebuilding the Hale House and with a little bit of pining and maybe some kissing! Also, minor Lydia/Stiles and Erica/Stiles friendships


Stiles scrubs a hand through his spiky-short hair. It needs a trim, but fuck it. Summer means he doesn’t have to worry about shit like that. He’s beyond glad to be done with the year, not least because he was getting sick of the wary looks cast his way on account of the damage Gerard’s beating had left on his face. The split lip is long healed by now, but the bruise across his cheekbone is still a tender reminder, reflected in the bathroom mirror and in the gentle tone his dad takes with him at breakfast.

It’s not so bad, though, Stiles thinks sternly at himself. So he got knocked around, so Boyd and Erica were tortured, so Jackson almost died. Nobody’s actually got killed, except for Matt, who deserved it, and…. and what is his life that that’s supposed to be a reassurance? No, Stiles corrects himself. Things are not great in ye olde Beacon HIlls. Not great at all. They’re supposed to be enjoying a carefree break like the kids they are, but instead there’s so much bad blood lingering around town that you could drown in it.

Even Scott, usually so optimistic about everything, has been knocked down a few pegs what with the breakup with Allison in the wake of her realizing how shitty her hunter family really was. He’s taking singledom a little better than Stiles though he might, honestly, but that means he’s alternating between calm assurance that he and Allison will get back together in the end, and weirdly obsessive focus on a tattoo he wants. Stiles is glad he has goals besides winning her back, but he isn’t at all excited about the specifics. Needles, man. Ugh. He’s not sure what kind of emotional pain a dude needs to be in to think that’s a good idea.

The Hale pack seems equally adrift after the events of the school year. Derek isn’t talking to Scott, on account of the whole “using you as a key element of a plan that I kind of forgot to tell you existed whoops” and new beta Jackson would try the patience of a saint, which Derek certainly is not. On top of that, Erica is handling the trauma of her kidnapping the same way she’d dealt with her frustrations about being bullied when she was first turned - with sex.

She’s flirty with Stiles, who does his best to ignore it, and with Isaac, who doesn’t quite understand that it’s only teasing. Apparently she even kissed Derek at training one day, according Boyd. Fuck if that isn’t a surreal (and, okay, kind of hot) thought. Wost, she keeps hitting on Jackson just to rile Lydia, who takes it just about as well as you’d expect. Isaac, hung up on Erica and already feeling pushed aside with Jackson’s entrance into the pack, takes it worse than that.

Add in all the normal hormonal disagreements between a bunch of teenagers trying to live together in an old abandoned house, and the Hale pack is basically a powderkeg.

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3

ROSE REVIEWS… THE X-FILES - S1.E10 FALLEN ANGEL

1.9. Space —————————————  1.11 Eve >>

It’s been kind of a crappy month/week/whatever but to bring you all some levity after my moaning I have *FINALLY* completed my latest review/recap. Here there be gifs. SO MANY gifs. I’d say I’m sorry but I’m really not. This ep is so riddled with boyband!Mulder and ridiculous effects it would be a crime not to gif the shit out of it. 

This one’s for Max Fenig’s hat. ONWARDS

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