i tried so many things but it still ended up so simple idk

{Special} College!AU Yuta
  • major: plant biology
  • minor: n/a
  • sports: soccer team
  • clubs: photography club, earth coalition, did debate team for a while but only because he liked getting into arguments with doyoung in front of people LOL
  • is really popular, fun, and relaxed,,,,,,you can see him taking a stroll from the library to the lab looking absent mindedly at the trees or at the sky
  • but don’t underestimate him,,,,,because he’s actually really smart and organized
  • a lot of the research he does in his courses is praised by his teachers even though he’ll play it off and be like “ah~ i got it right? what luck!”
  • but in front of other students he’s like hell yeah im the prince of the plant biology major ~~
  • likes nature so decided he may as well make a career out of it, also taeil told him once that he looked good in white so getting to wear the lab coat kinda makes him giddy
  • but he frequently likes to hike and go to forests,,,even on days when it isn’t required for his major
  • flirts naturally with everyone, from the TA in class, to the people in his group, to people in completely different majors, once came in to check up on an experiment his group was doing on some eucalyptus plants and i shit u not he touched a leaf and was like “ahhhh, you look pretty today~” to the freaking plant
  • tried to tutor for plant ecology but yuta has this thing where he can plan everything perfectly in his head but when he gets to actually trying to explain anything he’s like ah,,,well,,,you see,,,,one plant,,,and other plant,,,,become friends??? wait no,,,,,biologically plants cant make friends,,,,,,they,,,,,,interact? first date? yEARS of EVOLUtiON haVE CREATed This pLANT,,,,,,,,,,,,does that not make sense
  • but hey,,,he tried his best
  • doyoung calls him “narcissist nakamoto” anytime they see each other on campus dfldskdg
  • but honestly,,,he’s not wrong,,,,,because every soccer game the uni has yuta somehow ends up flashing that handsome smile of his and ending up on the front page of the uni’s sports website, the uni journal, hell even the other teams school has photos of yuta because he’s undeniably attractive
  • esp in a soccer uniform with his hair pulled back, pretty sweat down his strong jawline, and his eyes that can go literally from ^__^ to the most sERIOUS expression
  • comes of cool~ and suave~ and like suuuuuch a smooth talker
  • but all of his friends just sneer when people gush about yuta because they’re all like “this is the dork who calls his mom at like midnight and says he misses her and cries” and also apparently enjoys kidlike things like amusement parks and kamen rider 
  • “isn’t yuta soooo manly and dreamy~?”
  • taeyong somewhere: he collects anime figures don’t trust him
  • jokes jokes
  • but it’s cute,,,,yuta is all flower boy charm in his pressed lab coat and brilliant big smile and always trying to show off that he’s a gentlemen 
  • but also squishing winwin’s cheeks during lunch because wahhh so cute and getting all happy over the new pokemon release like,,,,,how soft
  • his dorm is slightly disheveled but it proves that he works hard with stacks of books and highlighters alongside the many trophies and medals he’s won for the school
  • (and ofc,,,,,his kamen rider figurines lmfao)
  • but yep it’s summer!!! which means a lot of kids have left the campus but some classes are still going on
  • you happen to not be taking any,,,,but you get a job at the local fair that’s going to run all summer a couple blocks away from the uni so you decide it’d be better to just stay in the dorm and well,,,,,make that Money
  • yuta,,,,,,,is also staying but that’s because one of his group studies is being conducted by a teacher who won’t be back in the fall
  • and tbh you only know yuta vaguely,,,,you’re friends with jaehyun who has talked about him and you’ve seen him in the school news
  • but,,,,,you’ve also “heard” rumors about him,,,,,how apparently he likes to flirt as much as possible and isn’t really interested in anything serious
  • someone once said something about how he accepted ten confessions in a day but then broke up with the girls through text
  • and you don’t???? know him???? but those rumors feel weird and full of jealousy
  • but at the same time like what is it your business anyway not like you and yuta have ever interacted 
  • until,,,,,,that changes
  • see your job at the fair is pretty simple,,,,you sell tickets to the ferris wheel and tell people which cabins to sit in
  • the ferris wheel is pretty tiny considering this isn’t a permanent fair,,,,and the rides like 5 minutes tops,,,,,but it gets fairly popular
  • esp at night when all the couples walk by sharing ice-creams and cuddling up close when they buy tickets
  • and secretly you’re like blEGh,,,but at the same time cant lose this job so u just smile and sell tickets
  • and??? that’s when you notice that almost every night
  • yuta comes by
  • and you know it’s him from the face but also,,,you’ve heard him speaking japanese on the phone when buying tickets,,,,,and you don’t think anything of it
  • but he keeps only,,,buying,,,,one ticket,,,,,every night
  • and idk you don’t want to say anything because maybe,,,,this is his stress relief from summer classes????? but at the same time everyones saying this popular boy who could have anyone he wants on campus is spending his nights. alone. on the ferris wheel
  • somehow, without either of you saying much to each other you memorize the time he comes by and save a ticket just in case 
  • like two weeks into this whole ordeal you dont even ask him to pay you just hand him the ticket and yuta gives you a look but you’re just like,,,,,go
  • because honestly you start thinking up ridiculous scenarios like,,,maybe he cries in there???? maybe the ride reminds him of a lost loved one??? maybe,,,,,,,,he uses it as a place to scream out all his frustration 
  • and the tickets are way 2 overpriced anyway college kids need to help each other out
  • but ,,,, the night before the third week of summer classes starts yuta finally says something to you 
  • and when he does you almost fall down,,,,because????? but as you slide the ticket over he goes “this place closes in half an hour, right?”
  • you nod 
  • and he’s like “ill be by the entrance. let me treat you to dinner.” 
  • at first you think you’ve heard wrong - maybe that he needs to treat someone to dinner
  • but when you meet his gaze, yuta smiles and is like “i promise to be there.” before walking off like it’s the moST Casual thing to ask a STRANGER to dinner
  • it shocks you so much that you barely manage to stutter out a “ok” when he’s literally gone
  • as,,,,he promised yuta is standing at the entrance as you come out still wearing your uniform t-shirt with the fairs name sprawled across the front
  • and yuta motions to it and is like “cute” and you’re like um,,,,,,what is happening
  • and he smiles again,,,so bright even though it’s nearing ten pm and he’s like “i know you,,,,,not from the fair but from college. you go to the same one as me.” 
  • you nod slowly but you’re still obviously confused
  • which only makes yuta chuckle, throwing his head back a bit when he does but he’s like “don’t worry, im not being creepy or whatever. it’s just,,,,,i know you’ve been giving me the tickets for free for a while so i thought i should do something nice back.”
  • the sentiment calms you down a bit,,,even though you try to say it’s fine you don’t need to be treated but yuta just throws his hand around you
  • pulling you by the shoulder closer and he’s like “nah,,,,we college students need to jump at any chance we get not to waste money - so c’mon!”
  • and that’s how you end up at a small stall at the night market,,,,yuta piling food onto the tiny plastic table as you watch him balance drinks in his other hand
  • for a moment you think back to those photos you’d seen of him on the school website. the star shining athlete of the soccer team
  • yet here he was,,,,looking something close to a fool,,,,,but in the most endearing way
  • you don’t expect to talk with him for a longtime,,,,but you do. 
  • yuta has a way of making people feel comfortable,,,,he’s obviously sociable and sweet and it’s hard not to like someone who gives compliments and actually seems interested in you
  • especially since the summer semester has left you pretty lonely on campus,,,,
  • but when you check your watch you’re shocked to see it’s nearing 1am and you have a shift tomorrow at the fair 
  • so hurriedly you and yuta clean up and practically sprint back to the dorms,,,,yuta making a joke about how he hasn’t run this much since soccer practice ended 
  • but as you stop in front of your dorm yuta says your name,,,,,smiling and adding that he’ll see you tomorrow before heading off into the other direction 
  • and it’s not till your brushing your teeth,,,,,looking in the mirror that you realize,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,that you just hung out with nakamoto yuta
  • the next night yuta shows up as usual,,,,this time he slips something toward you in exchange for the ticket,,,,,,a ice-cream bar from the grocery 
  • he says that it must suck to not be able to leave and take snacks and you look at the ice cream and go “how did you know my fav-”
  • and he grins and is like “ah, did you forget, you told me yesterday~ i personally like their green tea flavor more but,,,,”
  • and with that he waves,,,,going toward the ride and you sit there,,,,looking at the ice cream
  • and before you know it,,,there’s a small smile on your face
  • yuta is even waiting for you at the entrance again so you guys can walk back to campus together
  • this,,,happens for a bit,,,,,and then there’s a day when you have off and you pass yuta on campus only to have him call out to you and pout because you’re not at work~ he won’t see you later??
  • and you’re like nope i have the day off, you’ll actually have to pay for your ticket tonight 
  • he makes a face that makes you burst into giggles and he’s like ill have to call my sister for more money at this point,,,,,,,or oh,,,,,should i try and get doyoung to use his card,,,,
  • you shake your head because what street fair accepts cards???? and he’s like rats ur right,,,,,,
  • but it’s cute seeing him like this,,,,, in the daylight,,,,,eyes sparkling and pretty,,,,,,,
  • bUT you shake that thought off as soon as you see a group of underclassman walking by and calling out to yuta,,,,,saying something about how he still owes them all lunch or something
  • and the rumors you’d tried to forget come back to you,,,,,,,because hey he probably isn’t treating you any differently than how he treats others
  • catching feelings for him???? Big No No
  • but yuta turns back and says he’ll see you tomorrow then and there’s a hint of happiness in his tone,,,,,but again you’re sure you’re imagining it
  • so why is it that the next evening,,,,your stomach is full of butterflies,,,,,,you’re practically straining your neck to see if yuta is coming,,,,,,
  • the moment you see the familiar silhouette you start adjusting your hair and shirt,,,,,,,,god it makes you feel embarrassed but also,,,,,when his face appears in the window,,,,,smiling and happy
  • it makes your heartbeat surge and you mentally have to keep yourself in check as yuta tells you about something doyoung texted him this afternoon 
  • tbh as you hand him the single ticket,,,,,you get the sudden urge to ask ‘why don’t you ever take someone with you on the ride? like on a date?’
  • but you know you shouldn’t say something like that
  • but when you feel his hand brush against yours,,,,,you just,,,,,,you burst
  • “yuta, why don’t you ever ride the ferris wheel with someone else? someone,,,,,,special?”
  • yuta seems taken back,,,,,for a split moment even speechless but he just looks down at the ticket and you,,,,snap back into reality
  • and start to apologize because that was,,,,,rude of you,,,,,super rude,,,,,god why do you never thinK properly before speaking
  • but yuta just chuckles and is like “ok, you’re right i should take someone special can you give me another ticket?”
  • your heart literally drops into your stomach,,,,because,,,,,he does have someone special,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • but hiding your trembling hands as you print the ticket you hand it to him only to have yuta give it back and he’s like “let’s go.”
  • honestly speaking you shouldn’t ever leave your post at the ticket stand but the park is closing in ten minutes and there isn’t another person in sight so when yuta pulls you in behind him ,,,,,,
  • you find yourself sitting in the see-through cabinet,,,,,the lights of the two flickering below you as the wheel starts to turn
  • and you’re too busy looking at the view to notice yuta is staring at you
  • funnily enough,,,even though you’ve worked most of your summer there,,,,you’d actually never gotten to ride it before
  • so with the sudden invitation to get on,,,,,you kind of got excited,,,,,taking your phone out even to take photos
  • until you hear yutas voice
  • “so, ive taken someone special now. are you happy?”
  • and you look at him and blink,,,,,,,because wait,,,,,,,,are you that special someone???????
  • but ur like no no no way and so you change the topic and you’re like “why do you ride this every night? does it help you think?” 
  • but yuta just shrugs and is like “no. i just like it. i,,,,,,like it enough to ride it twice,,,,,three times but,,,,,,,”
  • and you look up from your phone at him and suddenly he’s leaning over
  • hand coming up to hold the side of your neck
  • and just as you reach the top you feel his lips against yours before he’s pulling away and whispering “but i like you so much that i thought if i come everyday,,,,if i ride this everyday,,,,,won’t they notice me in time?”
  • and,,,,,,,,no one has ever,,,,,,so straightforwardly,,,,,,,said something like that to you so you’re shocked,,,,, 
  • nearly dropping the phone in your hands but,,,,,,,,,but also,,,,,,you manage to ask “w-why?”
  • and yuta laughs,,,,,,hand on his stomach and he’s like “seriously? why? because,,,,,i saw you and it was like i was looking at my dream,,,,,,the person of my dreams,,,,,,,,and then when we got to talk i knew it was right. that you’re the one.”
  • the ferris wheel starts moving slowly again and once you and yuta get to the bottom you step out of the cabin,,,,,still trying to process the confession from him
  • when yuta’s hand slips into yours and he’s like c’mon your shift is over. let me treat you again.
  • and,,,,,,,you follow him but suddenly halfway down the streetyou stop and yuta turns to look at you and you’re like,,,,,,, “don’t play around.”
  • and he’s like ? what
  • and you yank your hand from his and you’re like “don’t play around with me. i don’t want to be just another person you woo and then,,,,,and then dump.”
  • yuta watches you,,,,,nervously looking toward the ground and he lets out a sigh and is like “do you think im playing? do you know how much money i spent on that ferris wheel in the first two weeks? 6 bucks for 6 days out of the week. that’s 36 a week, that’s 72 for tWO YOU KNOW WHAT 72 DOLLARS IS FOR A COLLEGE GUY DONT YOU”
  • and you look up and he’s like “listen,,,,,,some rumors about me are true. like how i stare out the window during class like a moron but am also ranked in the top five of my major. yeah i tend to fall over things because im not looking, but im still the ace of the soccer team. and yeah,,,,,,,,,i like to talk and be nice to lots of people but im not a player. my feelings for you are for real.”
  • you swallow the lump in you throat,,,but you’re also like,,,,,,,r-really?
  • and yuta is like yES really now do you feel the same or no?
  • you look at his outstretched hand,,,,,,,and you look at him,,,,,,,the smiling boy who’d treated you to dinner, who’d come everyday not to ride the ferris wheel but to see you,,,,,,,,,,,,and you take his hand
  • because what is there to lose in trusting this handsome, sweet guy,,,,,,who just happens to love corny things like the ferris wheel LOL
  • and most people cant believe yuta is actually dating,,,,,,,,,but not because of those stupid rumors but because he seemingly has never been interested
  • and when you meet his friends for the first time johnny asks if yuta didn’t perhaps pay you on the downlow to pretend-
  • but yuta is like heY im not you mr. chicago and ur like ????? and johnny is like fine fine fine
  • taeyong pats your shoulder and is like “good luck, he’s a handfull.”
  • you also learn of yuta’s undying fondness when it comes to transfer winwin which you dont mind because,,,,,the kids adorable and you and yuta are both like “he’s so cute” like 24/7
  • much to the disdain of literally everyone else,,,,,,,,winwin is lowkey savage though he told you once that you were too good for yuta who apparently is much more airheaded than it seems
  • but you were sure he was joking
  • until yuta literally almost burned down the dorm trying to make homemade takoyaki,,,,,,
  • but boyfriend!yuta is just,,,,,the best
  • he’s so fun and upbeat and never,,,,,like,,,,,,pushy
  • like sure he makes jokes about being prince of plant biology or the only man worthy of your attention
  • but he’s coming from a place of genuine love,,,,,and his want of your attention
  • which is kinda cute because if you ignore him for more than like twenty minutes you meet aegyo!yuta which,,,,,,,can either infuriate you or melt you it’s always a 50/50 draw on that one
  • yuta also loves taking photos which is something you leaned when everytime you’d go on a date he’d start taking candids of you
  • and you’d be like babe im just ordering off the menu we don’t need to take pic- but yuta is already like its fine i took one of you and it’s up on insta i tagged you check it out
  • his sister calls to check up on him and you’re always nervous to talk to her,,,,even though she roasts yuta to you and it’s amazing,,,but you’re always like i want your family to like me,,,,and yuta is like how could they not like you when i like you so freaking much
  • his sister told you about his flowershop job in highschool which you think is just the CUTEST so you always jokingly ask him to get you pretty custom bouquets 
  • but the thing is,,,,,,,,he does,,,,,,,he really does
  • and he surprises you with this big arrangement on the 100th day of dating and each flower has a meaning for what he thinks about you and it’s so beautiful,,,,,,,,yuta no matter how greasy he comes off secretly is a big sappy romantic. fight me on this
  • takes you hiking with him and if you get tired he’s always trying to get you to let him carry you and you’re like NO and he’s like “why not i am a man of nature, man of the mountains-” and ur like man of the mountains when you drop me accidentally off the cliff hell no nakamoto
  • if anything you do like hearing him talk about his major,,,,because people think he’s good looks and athleticism
  • but he’s also so smart,,,,,and his notes are all over the place sure but he knows what he’s doing and it makes you so proud
  • you caught him dancing in the lab once when he thought no one was alone. did he serenade a plant? he most def did
  • the hottest thing about him though,,,,is during his soccer matches it’s like 0 to 10000. at the beginning he smiles and waves at you blows air kisses and does the usual cringy sappy stuff
  • but,,,,,once the game is in heat,,,,,he changes completely
  • the softness in his eyes and smile are gone,,,,,,it’s just a fierce stare and raw determination 
  • and,,,,,,it’s ,,,,,,,,,a turn on especially when he wins and runs up the bleachers right up to you to get a kiss and slip his medal off to put around your neck
  • liKE,,,,,,,how idea,,,,,,,,,also getting to shower with him afterward?????? even more ideal
  • even though yuta can get pretty interesting,,,,intimately he’s always mush and goo for the kisses you give him on the tummy
  • when you both are just lazing around and he’s playing some 3ds game and you heads on his stomach going through your phone and you just lift up the hem of his shirt and kiss his tummy 
  • he makes the cutest,,,,,,,like the CUTEST hehehehe laugh,,,,,,,
  • “yuta,,,,don’t you have lab hours to do?” “yes,,,,but i also have cuddle hours to do so get over here”
  • when you’re upset,,,,,,yuta is,,,,,actually really good at comforting, he reminds you that he’s here,,,,,,by your side and nothing will hurt you and he’ll help you no matter what
  • and no matter how childish his interests are like video games and amusement parks,,,,,,he’s a serious man when it comes to you and your happiness
  • his mom texted you like 40000 baby photos of him which you love and cherish and yuta isn’t actually embarrassed at all tbh he thinks it’s adorable you fawn over him
  • (aka he lives for your attention. if you don’t give it to him, like i said, he turns into a mess of bad attempts on getting you to show him your love LOL) 
  • sleeps in class and still gets straight A’s - it’s infuriating 
  • but also,,,,,whenever you guys have time you’ll head into the city to the amusement park and get on the ferris wheel because no matter what yuta remembers it as your “first official date spot” even though that’d technically not be true
  • but it’s cute and it’s important to you two even though doyoung is like “go to a restaurant like ADULTS” but you and yuta aren’t rushing to grow up
  • any1 who spreads rumors about him gets you super worked up and you’ve screamed at a good number of people and yuta and the boys always hold you back
  • but afterword yuta is always kissing you madly because “wow i love you so much you stand up for me all the time and wow i love you ok im gonna keep kissing you no-”
  • you guys are a fun couple ok
  • still flirts with u even tho ur dating but he does it with plant puns to be cheesey. “will you never leaf me?” “if you were a flower you’d be a damndelion” “we were MINT to be”
  • what im saying is yuta comes off as not being a dork, but he’s the biggest dork
  • OH wearing his soccer team hoodie and people being like “wait, you’re dating nakamoto?” and you getting to be like yes ;-) yes i am ;-)

find other college!aus:

taeyong | bangtan | vixx | monsta x | got7 + kard + amber | seventeen

BEST FRIENDS [CALUM]

masterlist

request here - i’m desperate for good ideas (requested)

summary things get tense once calum finds you and luke getting it on…

Keep reading

And I'll Still be a Fool

Requested: “can you write an imagine based on the song just a little bit of your heart by ariana? :) love your writing by the way!”

A/N: So I said a while ago that I enjoy writing imagines based on songs and/or poems and things of that sort. So my next upcoming imagines will probably all be requested songs that you guys sent me! I might do a part 2 for this one but idk. Let me know y'all

I don’t feel the need to know who you’re with

Roses were always your favorite no matter how cliche it was. The petals were soft yet depending on the rose, sometimes they had thorns on the stem. Thorns that could make you bleed the same way love did. You normally hated poetry, and romantic comparisons or things of that sort, but the fact that roses were so beautiful yet sometimes so painful to touch, the same way love was, it was just interesting to you. And somehow someone knew this. Someone knew you liked roses, someone knew you enjoyed the sunset colored ones with the petals you’d rub your thumb against. For the past few months or so someone had been sending you roses every couple weesk. One week it was a huge bouquet of orangey pink petals with a note hidden behind the thorns that you always thought would say something but it never did. Usually just a heart would be drawn on the tiny piece of paper, and occasionally there’d be numbers written on the note, but you never know what it meant. They were long numbers usually, with no spaces in between. You thought this secret admirer of yours was sweet at first and you had kept some of the flowers in vases, but you tended to get tired of it considering they wouldn’t tell you who they were. Your friends had told you it was probably an old friend from high school, and that just irritated you even more. Either way it wouldn’t matter anyway because your heart was already taken.

A close friend of yours had mutual friends with someone who somehow ended up introducing you to Shawn Mendes, and you immediately fell in love just like the rest of the world did whenever they heard his voice. You felt a little pathetic for succumbing to the worlds way of falling for the same guy every other girl had fallen for, but you couldn’t help it. You understood easily why everyone drooled over him. It didn’t matter anyway, he seemed to be preoccupied with his music or other girls which was understandable. You had surprisingly talked to him often, snapchatting and texting small talk. He was a friend, and you hated it. You wanted to be more than friends. You tried not to flirt a lot, you never asked him about his past girlfriends, and you tried not to talk too much about where he went on those lonely Friday nights at 3am after an award show or something. You secretly cared and you always wished he’d come to you whenever he was looking for a little extra attention on those nights, but he never did. You figured because of the fact that you didn’t talk to him about those things, maybe he would like you, maybe he’d seem excited about the fact that he was talking to a girl who didn’t only care about how good he was in bed, or how much money he was making. You assumed most girls only cared about those things, but you didn’t. And you tried your hardest to make it appear that way, and you tried hard to show that you cared for him. But apparently he wasn’t getting that message, and it continued to break your heart, so you-not even caring anymore at this point- threw away another bouquet of roses that you wished were from Shawn.

Just a little bit of your heart, is all I want

“Yeah, they’re all freaking out because I haven’t posted a picture or anything, it’s kinda funny.” Shawn laughed lightly as he told you about his new tattoo that his fans felt teased by since he hadn’t posted about it. He was right about his fans, and you remember seeing plenty of comments and tweets talking about how much of a tease Shawn was. It was all true, and you wished it wasn’t. There were so many times you wondered if Shawn was flirting with you, and he’d give you tiny bits of what it was like to be with him, only to rip it away from you by taking two days to respond to a simple text, or not talking to you with the same tone. He really was a tease and it drove you crazy. You were currently wrapped up in your thoughts as you looked out the window next to you, watching the busy lives of strangers on the street. You wondered who else was going through what you felt, who else had such strong feelings for someone who didn’t feel the same. The day had taken an unexpected turn and you ended up walking into this fancy restaurant for dinner after work because you felt like you deserved it. It was the weekend after all so why not? You had posted about it on Twitter or something and almost two minutes later Shawn favorited your tweet, and texted you saying he was in that area. So here he was now, sitting across from you with food in front of him. You wanted to call this a date, but of course you didn’t and you assumed it was just a friendly dinner with a good friend. That’s what adults do all the time right? He was chewing on his finger, and that button up dress shirt he was wearing complimented his hazel eyes, along with those curls of his that needed to be cut. You scratched the back of your neck and forced yourself to stop looking at him and to finish your food.

“You okay? Do you not like your food? You can have some of mine if you want or something.” He caught you off guard and his voice melted in you ears like honey being poured into a sweet cup of tea.

“Oh no, I’m fine. I like my food, I’m okay! Thank you though.” You smiled at his kindness to share with you and you shoved some more of your food into your mouth. You really did like what was on your plate, you just found yourself struggling to concentrate on anything when Shawn Mendes was sitting in front of you. You don’t remember being so flustered just by being with him. You’ve been friends with him for some time now and you had talked to him millions of times without getting this nervous. Your feelings were blooming like flowers in the spring, and you wished so badly you could reach across the table to grab him. Grab his face, and kiss him. Grab his chest, to feel his heartbeat. The insides of his heart were most likely just as beautiful as his face. You knew him, and you knew his personality was amazing but you didn’t know him enough, and all you wanted was just even a tiny piece of his heart to learn about. What does he think about when he can’t sleep? Who does he think about the most? His family? His friends? His fans? Himself? Another girl? You chewed on your now cold food and continued to wonder these things, and think these thoughts as he kept talking about who knows what now. You weren’t even listening anymore.

I heard a little love, is better than none

Wind blew around your hair as you walked up to your house, and right as you placed your foot on the step to your door, you almost completely crushed a single rose with your shoe. If you didn’t love flowers so much you wouldn’t have stopped yourself and you would’ve stomped all over the damn rose until it was in pieces. Although you were head over heels for someone else, it was still a little sweet to you that this other stranger was still sending you flowers. But today, you were going to end it. You picked up the rose and walked into your house, placing it on the kitchen table. You pulled out your phone and went to Twitter, you figured this secret admirer of yours was following you ( or so you hoped ) so why not post about this, and ask them to stop sending you roses? You started typing but from the corner of your eye, something caught your attention. You hadn’t even noticed before but there was a small note attached to the stem of the rose like usual, but this time it wasn’t just a heart or some numbers. There were actual words written on the small piece of paper. You almost dropped your phone, picking up the note and tearing it off the little string tied around the stem.

“Don’t forget me, and I won’t forget you.” 6317

What the hell is that supposed to mean?? Next to the one sentence there were numbers written. No lines, no dashes. You re read the sentence and stared at the number trying to figure out what kind of game this person was playing. You looked at the numbers one more time before realizing what the date was today. It was June 4th, 2017, and yesterday was June 3rd. 6/3/17 was yesterday. Right? The numbers had to be a date, what else could it be? You were confused and frustrated either way, so you decided to finish your tweet.

“If you’re sending me roses, please either tell me who you are or just stop. Its very nice of you, but this game is getting tiring.”

You hit send and the tweet was officially posted to everyone. You hung the note on your fridge, hoping maybe you could eventually tell who’s hand writing it was. It was sloppy cursive, that you could barely read at first. You didn’t know anyone who wrote like that, did you? You tried to forget about it and see if anyone responded to your tweet. You figured you’d wait to see if you received anymore roses this week or the next. So you ended your day by placing that red rose into a vase near your window, admiring it as much as your secret admirer admired you.

And I’ll still be a fool for you

The sun woke you, as you turned over to get more comfortable, your bed was always your favorite place to be. But now the sun was keeping you awake and so you reached to your nightstand grabbing your phone, to do the daily social media check. You scrolled through Instagram, Snapchat, and finally Twitter. You scrolled through people tweeting about Shawn’s upcoming tour which saddened you a little to know that he was going to be leaving soon. You guessed it didn’t really matter anyway though right? Without even thinking about it you clicked on Shawn’s Twitter account, just to see what he was up to. He hasn’t texted you or talked to you since you two had lunch the other day. You scrolled down, to see his most recent tweet and you almost dropped your phone on your face.

“Don’t forget me, and I won’t forget you.”

He literally tweeted the same thing that was written on your note. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, looking at the tweet again. People tweeted him back asking him if that was a new song lyric or something and you just sat there, eyes wide. The stranger sending you roses couldn’t have been Shawn, there was no way. Maybe he just found the same quote your secret admirer found. Your brain was tired but you slowly were trying to put the pieces together. And so you ran down stairs to the trash can in the kitchen looking for more notes with numbers on them. After digging through mini pizza boxes and used tissues, you pulled out two notes from several weeks back. One note had the numbers 52217. May 22nd 2017. May 22nd, was the day Shawn came over to play you an idea he had for a song. You remember this because you pretty much marked in your calendar whenever you spent time with him, but if you were so in love with him how could you be so blind? The other note you found read the numbers 43017. April 30th 2017.. What happened April 30th? You pulled out your phone and looked at your calendar to see if there were any events marked, and of course there was. April 30th was one of Shawn’s shows you attended, and you brought him roses, you were starting to remember now because he used the roses to give out to some fans after the show, and you thought it was so sweet, you weren’t even angry that he got rid of your roses. Roses.

Reality was hitting you hard, and it all made sense now. Shawn had remembered these days just like you did. It was Saturday morning, 8am and Shawn was probably already on his plane to who knows where, you couldn’t even remember where his tour was starting. You texted him a couple times and called, but there was no reply. You stared at the notes on the table in front of you wondering how you were going to handle this. This whole time you thought you knew but you really had no idea. You wondered if Shawn felt angry at you now for your tweet, or if he felt bad. You didn’t know but either way there was one thing you did know, and that was that no matter how far away Shawn was from you, you’d never forget him, and no matter how many roses you threw away, your heart would still belong to him, and it probably always would.

anonymous asked:

do you have any good star trek novel recommendations? (tos please!!)

Yes! I do! I’ve been meaning to make a post about this for…so long, whoops, but I’ll answer this ask instead! (might still make the post someday, idk tbh. I probably should though because since I have so many Trek books I haven’t read yet, I might like more enough to rec them, haha.) Okay, anyway… (By TOS I assume you mean the original Enterprise crew, I hope it’s okay that not all of these actually take place during TOS, aka the five year mission.)

Sarek by A. C. Crispin You might have seen me mention this one the other day on my blog; I really love it. It takes place post TUC, Amanda is dying and Sarek is uncovering a plot that’s way bigger than anyone realizes at first… Also there’s some stuff about Jim’s nephew Peter (from the episode with the farting flying pancake aliens? lol.) and yeah, it’s a great read. All the parts with Sarek and Amanda are lovely and sad and the plot is interesting and it’s just all around enjoyable.Definitely recommend.

Collision Course by William Shatner This is the other one I mentioned on my blog already, and this one is probably my favorite Trek novel. Spock is nineteen and Jim is seventeen when they first meet, and they’re both too smart for their own good and get into trouble and…well, all the things you expect from Jim and Spock. It was originally supposed to be the first in a series, but for various reasons, there probably won’t be any more (CRIES) but this one is so good. And it doesn’t end on a cliffhanger so it’s okay. I especially enjoyed tbh how Bill appreciates what an effect Tarsus would have had on Jim (this is only three years later, after all) and it’s still very visible on lil’ Jim. Not a spoiler, bc a reference is made to Tarsus on…literally the very first page. Lol. Anyway, this one is really fun and sometimes sad (bc Tarsus) and just really great! Also, at least one of the plot twists genuinely surprised me, which is rare… I normally see them coming a mile off in Trek novels. ;) (Which doesn’t usually take away from my enjoyment, tbh!) But I really appreciate when they can surprise me.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (novelization) by Gene Roddenberry You knew this was coming. This is an absolute must read if you’re a Spirk fan, tbh. I’m not all the way through with it so far, about halfway done, but I can tell you it’s a much better way of telling the story of TMP than TMP. Lol. The movie has this simple feeling and Jim rushing to Spock on the bridge and saying his name like a prayer and other things, but it also has all those dreadful special effect sequences. And the novel has its own gay to offer. I don’t necessarily agree with the way Gene wrote Jim (in fact, it’s been forever since I picked it up but I distinctly remember being bothered by it), but…yeah, at least borrow a copy from someone and witness the gay parts for yourself, haha.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (novelization) by Vonda McIntyre I’m going to go ahead and say right now that if you’re going to read the novelizations, go for the ones by Ms. (Mrs? idk) McIntyre. She wrote 2, 3, and 4. I haven’t read 3 yet, but I have read 2 and 4 and I like that she actually adds in scenes and stuff that weren’t in the movies. It makes me feel like I’m actually getting something additional for my time even though I’m reading a novelization of a movie I’ve already seen. I like this one, because there was quite a bit that wasn’t in the movie (I have a hunch the extra scenes, at least some of them, might be based on the script? because the scene with Sulu’s great….something or other grandfather as a child meeting Sulu is in the book, and I know they tried to put that in the movie but never managed to. anyway.) But yeah, there’s actual stuff in there that’s not in the movie! that’s the way it should be. Also…she ships Saavik/David pretty clearly. :P Like I said, haven’t read TSS novel yet, but I know she was working it into 2, and it’s mentioned in 4 as a thing. Anyway…good stuff! This is the one where the whole “Vulcans get drunk on chocolate” thing comes from btw :))) (Avoid the novelizations by JM Dillard! Avoid!!! I’ve read them and they’re not good.) (Oh and pretty much everything I’ve read by Vonda McIntyre I’ve enjoyed, she’s a good Trek writer.)

Dwellers In The Crucible by Margaret Wander Bonnano Margaret Bonnano is another writer I just generally recommend bc I like all the stuff by her that I’ve read, too. Anyway… okay so let me say that this book’s main characters are not Jim and Spock. I know, I know. But wait!! It’s so worth a read!! Jim and Spock are in it, not much, but when they are they’re literally so married and explicitly confirmed to be t’hy’la… :)) it’s great. okay anyway. The main characters are a human named Cleante and a Vulcan named T’Shael. They are ladies. THEY ARE GAY AF. OKAY. THAT ALONE MAKES IT WORTH A READ. it’s so glorious.I mean the book only says they’re friends but…in the same way Jim and Spock are friends in canon. they’re super freaking gay. and also there are like a thousand incredibly obvious parallels between our human and vulcan lady and Jim and Spock. it’s fun. also Sulu goes undercover as a Romulan. :D yeah, just…read it. it’s great. (it made me angry at one point. I’m still angry. but I recommend it.)

Ishmael by Barbara Hambly This one was, for me at least, just a genuinely good read. I really enjoyed the plot. So…Spock goes back in time to 1867, not willingly I don’t think. And he gets amnesia. So right there are two tropes I ADORE (time travel and amnesia, I don’t care, I LOVE THEM.) He lands in North America, in Seattle if I remember correctly. And that’s the plot pretty much. Haha…okay, there’s a Klingon plot, the Enterprise crew searching for Spock, Spock trying to adapt and hide he’s an alien while bonding with the members of the community he lands in. Also Jim and Spock’s reunion is a bit gay. (Warning for spoilers if you click that? it’s pictures of when they find him near the end, so. Yeah.) I just really enjoyed the book in itself, the plot and everything. Fun!

Enterprise: The First Adventure by Vonda McIntyre In light of the tv series called Enterprise, the title of this one might be a little confusing… But it’s most definitely TOS and has nothing to do with Enterprise, haha. The premise is that it’s the first voyage of the Enterprise with Jim as the captain. And the mission is…to transport a theater troupe. It’s ridiculous and so silly, I know, but it’s really fun. There’s a winged horse, a really un-Vulcan Vulcan (I think he’s Spock’s cousin? I don’t really remember tbh), Spock heckling the theater troop, Uhura being a good friend to Janice…that’s all I remember off the top of my head, but I remember really enjoying it when I read it! 

Unspoken Truth by Margaret Wander Bonanno Remember what I said about those two writers? Lol. Okay so this is a Saavik-centric book. I really love Saavik, okay? So, as you might know, Saavik is half Vulcan, half Romulan. Well in this book (actually, in a bunch of books, by at least three different writers, it seems to be her accepted backstory in the novels) she was the result of a terrible experiment by Romulans, and when it didn’t work out, she and a bunch of other children were abandoned on a planet called Hellguard, and…some really horrible things happen. Anyway, Spock saves her, mentors her, and Amanda and Sarek basically adopt her (literally, she calls them mother and father, IT’S MY FAVE), well anyway, years later, either after or during TVH, she learns things are happening to the survivors of Hellguard…and the story goes from there. This was really good! Intense tbh. I loved it, but then, I love Saavik. If you don’t like her… But if you do, you’ll enjoy this one!!!!

Doctor’s Orders by Diane Duane Diane Duane is another must read author. All her books are excellent. In all honestly, I don’t remember too much about the plot of this one, but I know I liked it! Dr. McCoy is like “you can’t make me take command on the bridge” and Jim is like “uh actually I CAN” so he does and of course on McCoy’s very first day watching over the bridge Jim goes AWOL and shit starts going down. Poor Bones. Also, there’s some crazy aliens in this one, but they’re interesting!

The Vulcan Academy Murders by Jean Lorrah This one has such misleading cover art, lmaooo. At least, the version I have. There might be others… Anyway. Patients at a hospital on Vulcan keep dying and stuff, and then Amanda is in trouble. Lots of Sarek and Spock and Jim and Bones interaction. It’s a good one. (It’s been soo long since I read this one, too, sorry. But again, I know I enjoyed it!)

Uhura’s Song by Janet Hagan I love the alien species in this one. They’re like giant cats, and I love cats. When I read it, I got really into the planet and the species and their culture. The plot is that an old friend of Uhura’s is from this planet, and they “exchanged songs”…songs are a big deal in their culture. Anyway, there’s a plague threatening everyone on the planet and humans, too, and they think a song might hold the key to curing the disease, so they all go down on the planet to try and find it.

Strangers From The Sky by Margaret Wander Bonanno The plot to this one is…kind of hard to describe. Okay. So the parts with Jim and Spock go back and forth in time, part of the time being like, post-all the movies (I think) where they’re old friends (and really married, they’re just like. Margaret Bonanno has this way of inserting this really easy, casual intimacy they have with each other, and calling it friendship when OBVIOUSLY they’re married af, but either way I love it) and part of the time being very early on when Jim hasn’t been in command for long and he and Spock didn’t care much for each other (I mean personally I think they liked each other quite well from the start, but I’ll let it go, lol)… And then there’s a book. In the book. That everyone is reading and obsessed with and Jim starts reading it… It sounds weird, I know, but the book in the book is the story of the first time Vulcans came in contact with humans, long before the OFFICIAL first contact, it was when Vulcans crash landed on Earth and were discovered by some humans… I fucking love Vulcans, so that is obviously a great point of interest for me. Lol. Anyway when Jim reads the book he has nightmares, but then he discovers Spock has those nightmares, too, and it’s more than ‘just’ a book. Probably sounds bizarre but I really enjoyed it. ….and doesn’t every Trek plot EVER sound bizarre af when you try to describe it?

That’s all I’ve got right now!! This got so long I’M SO SORRY TBH BUT I HAD TO BE THOROUGH.

my ideas on bleo/thlaise, badly formatted and horrible i’m so sorry

  • from what we know about pureblood society, it’s very exclusive, right? even among itself
  • there’s the “sacred 28” or whatever bs
  • anyways, so like, once you get to the sacred 28, you can’t get better than that
  • that’s like the cream of the crop, who’s “in” with the wizarding world
    • because, you guessed it, pseudo-racism
  • and the Zabinis are from Italy so like, they’re not on it, but u bet ur ass they can pseudo-racism along with the best of them
    • by best i mean worst
    • i get the feeling it was the “congrats! of all the racists, we are the worst! nicely done, guys”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey! :D Can I request an angsty scenario where Rick & fem!reader are in a relationship but get into an argument and ignore each other? Also, can it end with a happy ending? Please and thank you! :) You're my favorite RAM writer & I love your stories ;)

[Awe, thank you so much! I apologise that I’m late getting to this ;; I’ve been hella lazy- I also realised I have no idea how to make angst so I hope you like this because there were plenty of times I had to stop and ask myself “how do I do the write!?“ hah to be honest, I just listen to like knives on repeat till this was done.. ;~; ]



Those words echoed through your head as you stood frozen, eyes glued to him, your heart sunk into your stomach, your chest tightened and your mouth went completely dry. You understood that sometimes Rick was busy and didn’t have time to be with you but you never thought he thought these things about you.

You had come over to Ricks place to see if he wanted to maybe go out somewhere with you. You found him tinkering in his garage as usual but he looked a lot more concentrated than usual. You cleared your throat to make your arrival known but he didn’t bother to lift his head.

“What are you working on?” you tilted your head slightly and peeked over his shoulder.

“Nothing.” he snapped quickly and you took a step back. Alright, Rick was in a bad mood for some reason.

“You okay?” You asked, your bottom lip forming a small pout as you stared at your boyfriend.

“Do I look okay?” He huffed, rolling his eyes, his hands still fiddling with whatever it was he was making.

“Y-You wanna talk about it?” You asked softly but ended up taking several steps back when Rick suddenly stood up and glared at you.

“No I don’t want to urrp I don’t want to talk about it! God, what are we in high school!? I don’t gossip! Can you, you, you stop being so fucking annoying!?” He yelled before sighing heavily.

He realised what he had said but made no attempts to apologise or show you that he didn’t mean to say it. You wanted to speak but you couldn’t, your chest felt so tight that you felt like you were struggling with each breath you took, no matter how many times you tried to swallow your throat stayed dry.

He had gotten mad at you before but he never outburst like this before. He most certainly never called you annoying before either.

Finding the courage deep down you spoke up, your voice shaky. “Y-You think I’m annoying?”

Rick let out a sighed before returning to his work, not saying anything at all. You took that as a confirmation enough and now your eyes pricked with tears, although, you wouldn’t let them fall from your eyes.

“Don’t ignore me, Rick! It was a simple question.I just wanted to help you..that’s what girlfriends do, they try to help the one they love..” your voice cracked, your hands balled into fists.

You watched as Rick stopped tinkering and let out an annoyed sigh as he stared at his desk. “Are you finished?”

“Yeah..I-I’m finished…and apparently so are we..” You finally let your tears fall from your eyes as you stormed out of his workspace. You were fed up, you were angry and sad all at the same time. He always pushed you away whenever you wanted to talk about your feelings. You were just done.

As you closed the door to his garage you heard him let out an aggravated growl and a loud bang, it sounded like he hit his table but you weren’t about to go back and find out. You knew that once you were gone, that was it. You knew he wouldn’t chase after you or try to make things better. That just wasn’t who he was.

That thought alone is what kept you up all night, you cried so much that your eyes were puffy and red, it hurt every time you blinked your eyes. Your body was exhausted from all the stress and pain you felt in your heart but your mind wouldn’t let you rest.

Your body sat up pin straight in your bed, eyes widening as you stared out your bedroom door from your bed when you heard a loud banging coming from your front door.

Your mind immediately thought the worse. It was the middle of the night and there was banging on your door. Was it a robbery? you asked yourself if this night could possibly get worse.

You trailed to the door, gripping the doorknob tightly. Tight enough that your knuckles went white before you quickly swung the door open to see Rick staggering there. He obviously had been drinking.

“W-What are you doing here?” you tried to sound cold but the thoughts of today played fresh in your mind and you felt like crying again.

“JuUUUUGGHst… Just shut up and listen okay?” Rick interrupted you. “You’re not annoying- you were concerned about- about me.” Rick let out a sigh. “I-I was mad because I lost my portal gun and I was trying…trying to make another one but I was actually lacking parts for once. I was frustrated with it and then you showed up and decided to play 50 question and I got even more aggravated. I-I-I took it out on you when I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry. I don’t want what we got to stop.” Rick couldn’t look you in the eyes but you knew it was hard for him to talk about his feelings.

You don’t know if it was because you were crying all night or the fact that for the first time, even if he did have to get a little drunk, Rick was telling you how he felt but your legs moved on their own, walking towards Rick before your arms wrapped tightly around him, you buried your face into his chest and let out a small choked sob.

“I don’t want us to stop either..I l-love you too much…” You cried softly.

Rick wrapped his arms around you just as tightly, afraid that if he let go you would vanish in front of him. “I’m sorry..” he said lowly.

“I forgive you, Rick.” You looked up at him a small smile coming to your face as he lifted his hand to cup your cheek and wipe your tears away with his thumb. You leaned up further and your lips connected sweetly before you went back to holding onto him. You didn’t care if you were starting to get chilled by the night air, you were happy that you were back where you belonged.

Remember the name

Pairing: Sam x reader 
Characters: Sam, the reader, some vamps, Dean
Warnings: swearing, a little bit of angst, gore 
Word count: around 1500 
Summary: The reader is a solo hunter in need of some assistance, and, without knowing anyone will be there, Sam and Dean just happen to show up on the same case. 
A/N: This was inspired by the song Remember the Name, idk it’s a really badass song so I tried to put that into the reader’s character a little! 
Tag list: @amanda-teaches  @myplaceofthingsilove @spectaculicious @bambinovak @bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@padackles2010 @mamaredd123@milkymilky-cocopuff @iwantthedean@zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat @spntrista @d-s-winchester@just-another-busy-fangirl@winchesterprincessbride@waywardjoy@supernaturalyobsessed@whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname@sandlee44@fangirl1802@kittenofdoomage @evyiione @winchestersmut@purgatoan@mogaruke @therewillbeblood @megansescape @taste-of-dean@leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid  @scarlet-soldier-in-an-impala@deathtonormalcy56@wildfirewinchester @notnaturalanahi@jensen-jarpad@impalaimagining@fangirlextraordinaire@itseverythingilike@jesspfly@love@mysteriouslyme81@mrswhozeewhatsis@aiaranradnay@supernatural-jackles@girl-next-door-writes @spnsasha @27bmm @spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches @myplaceofthingsilove @spectaculicious@bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@spn-imagines-to-feel @spn-ficfanatic@cleverdame @saxxxology @jensen-jarpad @keepcalmandcarryondean gabriels-trix 

“Fuck you” You growled through your teeth, this vamp was a real prick. 

Savannah, Georgia. Of all the places you’d traveled, all the cases you’d solved and people you’d saved- this would be the one that killed you. Probably. Unless you got out of there in the next 10 minutes, you were a dead woman. 

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It wasn’t easy to say the least. It wasn’t easy for Dan Howell to wait at the door. It wasn’t easy to stay awake at night sobbing.  It wasn’t easy to have everything around him have Phil on it. Their whole house had Phil written all over it. The cat stickers that were placed haphazardly around the house. The candles that Phil had bought. It wasn’t easy to be heartbroken and hopelessly in love with Phil Lester.

They had fought about something stupid. Dan couldn’t even recall what it was about. But he could recall what it felt like when Phil left him standing there in a pile of pain and regret.

“NO, WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING?” Dan had raged to Phil

“I’M NOT FUCKING COMING BACK I CAN TELL YOU THAT MUCH!”  Phil screamed back while grabbing his phone and wallet.

Tears began to flow again as Dan thought of it. And that wasn’t even the worst of it. No, the worst part was the pain in his chest. The constant deep ache that had been in his bones since that night one month ago, it hurt so goddamn bad. He had tried to eat but it did nothing to help the pangs of guilt. He tried alcohol to numb anything that it could manage, but to no avail. He missed being wrapped in Phil’s arms. He missed Phil smiling against his lips. He missed how Phil would throw his head back and laugh while his tongue slightly stuck between his lips.

He screamed into the empty apartment. He just wanted his Phil back. He wanted to spend hours lazily kissing him and laughing with him until their abs were sore. He wanted things that were easy, they were simple needs, but for some reason it seemed as if he was asking for the impossible.

Dan was screaming into Phil’s pillow. There were empty liquor bottles strewn about the entire room. Phil’s room used to be Dan’s favorite place in the world. He felt safe, as if everything was okay. But now nothing felt like home, he didn’t feel safe anywhere. And it was then that he realized that Phil was his home. Phil was where Dan had always felt loved and safe but now Phil was gone and he had taken Dan right along with him.

“Goddammit Phil, why can’t you just fucking come home? Please just come back to me.” Dan whispered brokenly into the tear stained pillow.

The phone rang, for the first time since the landlord had called a week ago, Dan’s phone was ringing.

Dan wiped the tears from his face with the back of his hand. It was Phil.

Dan’s heart began to pound in his chest, his stomach began to do flips and a smile spread across his lips. He swiped the answer button and eagerly lifted the phone to his ear.

“Phil, hello? Phil, are you there?” Dan blurted out eagerly with a cracking voice.

There was a silence on the other end of the line.

“Yeah Dan, I’m here.” Phil nearly whispered into the phone.

“You’ve been crying bear, haven’t you?” Phil questioned with a breaking voice.

Dan was silent, was he supposed to tell Phil how pathetic he had been? Was he supposed to say how he had been drinking profusely and crying into his pillow? Because that’s exactly what Dan Howell did. He told Phil how he had been sobbing and punching the walls and screaming for him to come back. He told him how he had been pulling his hair and clawing at his skin, begging for release. He told how he had taken so many sleeping pills that he wasn’t sure how he was still alive.

“Phil, I miss you so fucking much. Come back to me.” Dan muttered brokenly into the phone.

“I’m coming bear, I swear I’m coming back to you.” Phil whispered back to Dan.

“I love you Phil” Dan smiled into the phone with tears in his eyes.

“I love you more, you have no idea” Phil replied.

Two hours later Phil arrived at the door. Dan heard the rattling of keys and the slamming of a door, followed by footsteps pounding up the stairwell. Dan ran towards the last flight of stairs and met Phil at the top. Dan collapsed into his arms and they sat on the landing intertwined with each other for at least two hours. They were crying into each other with occasional neck kisses and mumbled “I love yous”.

They eventually broke apart and Phil lifted Dan’s chin up to look him in the eyes.

“I will never leave you again, I promise you bear.” Phil whispered before placing a gentle yet passionate kiss on Dan’s lips. Dan smiled against Phil’s kiss and happily reciprocated it. The kiss quickly got heated and Dan rolled Phil onto his lap. Phil was tangling his hands in Dan’s curly hair and tracing the outline of his jaw. Dan had slipped his hands under Phil’s shirt and was holding his waist. Phil tasted like coffee and alcohol and Dan was relishing in it.

But then it ended. Dan woke up in his white room with all the blinds drawn. Reality hit him again and he remembered that Phil Lester died five years previously. After the call, Phil had never made it home. He had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, he had been shot in the chest after getting mugged. Dan Howell was broken and would never be repaired. He wanted to forget all of the pain that had drowned him long ago but he didn’t want to forget all of Phil’s details. He didn’t want to drown out Phil’s scent of body wash and coffee beans. He didn’t want to forget Phil’s laugh or how he sneezed when he had a cold. He didn’t want to forget how Phil bit his nails when he was nervous. Dan didn’t want to forget Phil. As he walked to Phil’s grave he collapsed. He was tired of being strong, tired of smiling when he hurt so badly inside. Dan had long ago died inside from all of the pain and guilt that had built up inside of him. There was a wall blocking the outside world, he couldn’t care less. So as he kneeled over Phil’s grave, tears streaming down his cheeks, he dejectedly whispered

“Come back to me Phil, please fucking come back to me”

anonymous asked:

Tips on getting out of the habit of procrastination and getting shit done?

Firstly:

understand that at the end of the day, the most vital part of all this is accepting that you just have to sit down and fucking do it

I do have more tips but like… to get that out of the way it really does come down to just fucking doing it. And I know it isn’t easy – trust me, I know what it’s like to have absolutely zero motivation and to be so apathetic that I can’t even bring myself to do the simplest of tasks, and honestly I still have those days even now. But not as many of them. And it’s more hours than days now.

  • the thing is, it’s so much easier to stay motivated when you start seeing positive effects, but you can’t get those positive effects until you start doing stuff.
  • so like, start small.
  • (and i mean really small. start by like idk, making sure you brush your teeth twice a day or do the laundry once a week or write 100 words a day or read five pages of a book or something)
  • (idk what your mental state is but seriously, there’s no such thing as Too Small)
  • you will be so surprised at the positive effect that these small things will have once you start seeing results

Seriously, I thought it all sounded like some of that “um have you tried yoga to cure your crippling depression sweaty :)” bullshit at first but it deadass worked. It really is a lot about changing your frame of mind.

  • because it’s so easy to stay in one place like… it’s scarily easy
  • and once you’re stuck in that place it’s difficult to get moving because getting something moving is always the hardest part you know
  • did you know most of us possess the strength to easily push a car at some speed along a flat road
  • it’s just getting the wheels turning in the first place that’s practically impossible 
  • so like tl;dr getting started is the hardest part
  • literally
  • even keeping yourself going on hard days will be easier than initially getting over the urge to do nothing

…which is actually a good thing, because you’ll remember how difficult it was and you’ll say to yourself “wow, is skipping writing 100 words today really worth the week of effort it’s going to take to rev my motivation back up?”. The answer is no. What’s in motion stays in motion, and all that.

So say you get this out of the way. How do you keep going? I’ve found all the following help a ton.

keep a bullet journal oh my god

It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Some of the ones on here are so beautiful but like… that’s not my style tbh. Mine is purely practical, rather than both practical and creative. I’ve made it my own, but its primary focus is to keep track of things and hold me accountable.*

(*more on that later)

I have a simple spread. Each day has its own box and I jot things in that box that I need to do or remember, like…

  • the hours I’ve worked
  • fics i’m writing and how many words i need to write that day
  • errands that need to be run
  • bills that need to be paid
  • how many pages of a book i need to read
  • even stuff like setting aside an hour to queue posts or answer asks

I also have a weekly goals list to keep my daily goals moving in the right direction. It has all helped tremendously.

  • it’s so much easier to stay motivated when you have a set goal
  • honestly break things down into manageable chunks and go at them with a plan
  • things also seem less intimidated when they’re broken down into tiny chunks written in sparkly gel pen just saying

Related to this…

hold yourself accountable

To an extent. Setting unrealistic goals and beating yourself up for not making them = not good. Setting realistic goals and beating yourself up for being lazy and just not bothering when you know you could have done better is called self discipline. A decent amount of shame over your laziness is healthy. It’ll stop you from doing it again.

In the same vein, you can hold yourself accountable for making your goals. Reward yourself! Have a break! Have a day off if you can! Laze around and say to yourself hey, I deserve this, because I did all of this today!

  • the main thing is getting this balance right
  • @me a year ago no you can’t do one (1) thing on your list and then use that to justify doing nothing for the rest of the week ok
  • you will get it right eventually though
  • generally once you get the shame balance right

Bullet journals are good for this accountability stuff too.

  • it feels really good to tick off boxes
  • plus a visual record of your achievements is very encouraging
  • it also highlights what you have trouble committing to or focusing on
  • which is always good to know

It’s very good to know, actually, so you can do this:

balance work with play

My bullet journal isn’t full of tasks I don’t want to do. It would be a really depressing list otherwise, and not motivating at all. So I have fun things in there as well. I have stories I want to work on. I have books I want to read. I have trips pencilled in in a way I can cross off, like “go to Edinburgh” or “get the train to London”.

  • in this capitalist society this might be a controversial opinion but
  • you are still productive when you’re working on personal projects
  • productivity doesn’t strictly mean making money, or doing “proper” things like homework or chores or work
  • (even though that’s all stuff you should be including too)
  • your hobbies and passions are important
  • you are being productive if you spend a day reading about a passion
  • you are being productive if you spend a day writing
  • you are being productive if you spend a day in bed finally finishing that book you’ve been meaning to read for a while
  • seriously please remember this
  • just because it doesn’t seem “useful” or provide any financial gain doesn’t mean you’re not being productive
  • self-improvement is productive!!
  • doing things you enjoy is productive!!
  • so long as you’re doing something, you’re being productive!!

Learning this (and accepting it) was perhaps one of the best things I did for my productivity. There’s a lot of internalised shame, I think, that comes from doing things society tells us is “pointless” or “just” a hobby. Compared to school or work, it doesn’t seem “real”. While understanding your priorities is important, everything that has an impact on your life isn’t pointless or “just” anything. Yes, some days you’re going to want to read or write over studying for that final or going in for your shift, but that’s where the self-discipline will kick in. You’re not selling yourself out for understanding priorities. That’s called being a productive adult. And anyway, once you get the hang of this, you’ll have the energy and motivation to balance both.

And finally:

go at your own pace.

Please. There’s no rush. It took me a long time to get to the point where I was lucky enough that I could follow these steps and have them stick. I understand not all of you will be in the same place. I understand that for some of you, reading this will make you feel even more dejected. Please try not to feel that way. Remember what I said first of all: start small. There is no task that is too small. It’s all a starting point, and even if you only do that one thing, that’s one more thing than yesterday. You’re being productive. You’re getting shit done.

now for the tl;dr

Because this really did get long.

  • learn and accept that you’re going to have to force through a lot of “ugh I really don’t want to do this” to get things started
  • I really recommend keeping a bullet journal or at least some kind of to do list
  • kick your own ass if you have to (you will have to)
  • reward yourself too
  • balance things you enjoy with Actual Boring Adult Tasks
  • understand and accept that capitalism equates productivity with making money and this is bullshit and not true
  • remember everything you care about is important and worth devoting time to
  • go at your own pace

anonymous asked:

Let's say you've had a terrible day, (crying, etc.), how would Noctis brighten your mood, nsfw style?

I don’t write nsfw but…..I hope this is enough XD


Morning had passed, and the late afternoon was slowly falling to evening. Noctis had returned from his royal duties in his palace to his apartment and was expecting a greeting from the door. However upon his entrance, you were no where to be found. 

Confused by your absence, the prince padded down the hallway, and through the living room. You had told him you would be here, yet you were no where to be found. That was until he heard a soft sniffling coming from a closed door of a room—his room. 

With no second thoughts, he reached out to open the closed door. ”[Name]?”  The young Lucian prince poked his head around the doorframe to his room enveloped in nothing but darkness. However it was in this room was the sniffling at his strongest. Quietly, he walked to the side of his bed, there you lay, your face buried in the pillow.

“Hey.” Noctis called out softly as he sat down on the side of the bed. Using his finger to lightly brush away your hair. 

With the sobs still settling in your throat, you turned your head to face the prince. Your red eyes and puffy bags did not go unnoticed, even in this lack of lighting.

“What….” you sniffed. “What are you d-doing here.” 

A chuckled sounded past Noctis’ lips at your odd question. “What do you mean? This is my apartment.” he waited for you to laugh back, however you only remained silent in response. “Hey, whats wrong [Name]? Why are you crying?”

Slowly you sat up from where you lay. “I-It’s nothing Noctis, I’m fine.” you replied.

But Noctis could tell something was on your mind. That look in your face spoke all the lies. After the all the time two had spent together, he never failed to read you like a book. “What’s wrong [Name]?” he questioned again.

You bit down on your lip, this time avoiding his gaze. “Don’t worry about me Noctis, nothing’s bothering me.”

“[Name]?” he asked again. “You know I don’t like it when you hide thing from me.”

Yet you continued to avoid his eyes. “It’s nothing, just… leave me alone….” your gaze then flickered to the end of the bed. It was then did he take notice of the newspaper thrown on the covers. 

“Whats this?” Noctis asked, reaching out to grab the paper. His eyes flickered to the bolded text printed at the very top. 

LUCIAN PRINCE FOUND WITH COMMON PESANT. IS THIS THE END OF THE ROYAL BLOOD LINE?

Noctis’ eyes lowered to a glare as they skimmed upon the many photographs of you and him that were attached along with the headline. Such was common to that prince, but to have you involved was enough to make his blood boil. 

“You see it now don’t you…” you spoke. Every time I’m alone or even when we’re together, they’re always watching. The cameras are always there taking photos. People are gossiping about me all because I’m not a princess or a rich noble.” 

“Look, it’s the Prince’s girlfriend.”

“I thought she was going to be a Princess.”
the public would whisper.

You hated it at first, but overtime you learnt to ignore and deal with it. However merely ignoring it, was not enough to barricade the conflicting emotions you felt within yourself. Sometimes, though you never told Noctis, you questioned if you were worthy of the Prince, after all, you were just a measly commoner, nothing royal or noble in any shape or form.

You suddenly began to feel your eyes sting from the incoming tears you did not ask for. “I’m nothing but a tarnish to your image Noctis.” you whispered. “A common peasant like they said. Poison to your bloodline.”

His heart dropped heavily at the sight of your broken self. “[Name]…” Noctis breathed out your name. With a gentle hand, he cupped your cheek to look at him. “You’re nothing like that.” he said softly. 

“But it’s true…” you said. “I’m not worthy for you Noctis. And I never will be….maybe it’s best if we just end things now. Before things get worse—”

“Dont say that!” 

You flinched from the prince’s sudden rise in his voice. 

“Don’t say you’re not worth of being my partner [Name].” he said again, softly. “I know you’re not rich or royal.” He then took hold of your chin and lifted your gaze to look back at him, his cobalt eyes stared into yours causing your heart to leap. “But all of that means nothing to me. You think I want to be in love with a princess? That stuff is only in fairy tales. I just want to live a normal life and fall in love with the person I want to be with. Who cares what the media says. All that matters is that you’re worth it in my eyes.” He then leaned close and pressed his forehead against yours. “So never say you’re worthless”

However your eyes still showed a look of doubt. “But…”

Noctis leaned close. Forehead against forehead, his lips were now hovering ever so closely over yours, the slightest movement would be enough to make them touch. “If my words aren’t enough, then let me show you your worth…” And without letting you say anymore, he silenced your words with his lips. It was slowly and gentle, but such a gesture was enough to send your heart skyrocketing. 

Innocence however was soon lost when the lips which brushed against yours burned with passion and lust. Noctis nipped at your bottom lip, pressing his tongue at the seam of your lips before delving at your grant of entrance. A low moan sounded at the back of your throat—a sound of pleasure you never thought you’d make. Yet this feeling of bliss was one you could not ignore, more so one you wanted to give in to. 

You could feel his hands begin to trail down, lingering at your waist while he lowered you back down until you sunk into the mattress with his form pressing against yours. Every touch lit a flame within your being, every moment his lips melded with yours held a certain intensity you had never felt before, quickening your heart and only leaving you hungry for more. He pulled away, lips slightly bruised and your well-being flustered. But the prince’s lips never left you, as they began to trace down your jawline and to your throat. Your hands wandered to the back of his neck, fingers knotting tightly into his hair, pulling ever so slightly causing a low growl to sound past Noctis’ throat. 

He bit, sucked, and kissed the bruises—the marks of his devotion—home on your skin, drawing whimpers from your parted lips. Noctis knew your weakness. He knew well that the simple touch of his lips on your skin would be enough to make you melt under his finger tips. His hands on your waist began to wander, hot fingers moving up and under the hem of your top to caress the bare curves of your waist and stomach, while at the same time hiking your garment up to your chest. 

“N-Noctis…” you breathed his name in a breathless gasp. “W-Wait…”

Catching his attention, the said prince and from your neck and gazed down at you. His eyes were glassed with the affection that pulled you to him the first time. Yet, there was a glint in his eyes which spoke with something so much more. 

Now there was only one desire, one wish and you both knew it wouldn’t be long until it would be granted. And yet…

“Are you sure you want this?” you asked. “With someone like me?”

“I don’t see myself having this with anyone else.” he said softly.

His words, simple but they sounded so sure. Your eyes searched his gaze for a sign of the desire he held to diminish. However it did not waver, more so intensified.  

“Trust me on this [Name]…” he murmured, his hand reaching to cup your  cheek. 

“I trust you…” you whispered. 

Gaze softening, you held his face in your hands and pulled him back down for a kiss, soft, slow but it was enough.

I always have, and I always will…

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #8

My gosh, there’s just so much stuff you vetlings want to know, isn’t there? Well, knowledge is good, so here we go with yet another info dump as I try to answer a big slew of your questions in one hit.

Anonymous said: I sometimes get your patreon emails or an update on your blog while I’m studying/struggling in the wee-hours of the morning (vetmed). I’m in WA, so where-ever you are it’s also late/early. What are you doing up in the witching hours?

First of all, I am an AdultTM and as such I am permitted to set by own Bed Time. There are many reasons why you might receive notifications from me so ‘early’.

  • I have a blog post on queue every morning between 5am and 6am my time (so probably 3am and 4am your time). It goes up automatically, so I can see initial responses before I go to work.
  • I think Patreon sends its emails at the same time each day, regardless of when I post. I certainly don’t type there early in the morning.
  • Sometimes I’m on nightshift and can get kinda bored at 3am sometimes.
  • Sometimes I just can’t sleep, especially with the changing day/night cycles.

Most of the blog runs on queue, honestly. At least three posts a day do.

Keep reading

CHAOTIC NEUTRAL //

Request: Head canon where Snoke has Kylo capture the reader but oh god she is a chaotic neutral

A/N: Now that I realize it, this could’ve been a list of hc’s but I made it into a fic instead…oops. Anyway, I feel as if this could have a part two but idk…sorry for the late posting but as you know school takes up a lot of my time and I have been blessed with free time so enjoy! [REQUESTS ARE STILL CLOSED!]

Word Count: 2.7K+


The dark and the light were sides you could never confine in, let alone, support. Neither side was right, nor were they wrong, they did what they did for their own reasons. In a galaxy where majority of its population chose a side, you were part of that small number of outcasts who decided neither were fit for you. Although you believed in what the First Order demanded, but also believed in what the New Republic strived for, you also found major flaws in the two. And being caught in the middle was the reason why you were constantly on the run.

Keep reading

ok so this took approximately six hundred years to put together but i present, for your enjoyment, my star wars fic rec, including: stormpilot fic recs, hanluke fic recs, jedistormpilot fic recs and various gen fics/one shot pairings. i’ve been around fandom for a loooooong time so i’ve developed a habit of being picky with my fics so rest assured that everything included in this list comes with a big ol’ stamp of approval

this list will be added to/edited in the future as the fandom grows, so if ur fic isn’t on here don’t despair, and if any of you want to suggest fics to be added then go ahead, my ask box is always open! (UPDATED: 4TH APRIL, 2016)

stormpilot has the most fics in this rec but feel free to peruse the rest (the stormpilot recs are last, so scroll all the way dowwwwwn if u want those), and i hope u enjoy! (side note: i put stars next to the fics i REALLY love so those ones come with my super special recommendations)

[p.s there is no r*ylo in this because i do not support the ship at all lmao bye]

Keep reading

Winter Confession - Im Jaebum

A/N: Wow wow wow idk what happened, I got carried away and this ended up so much longer than intended. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it! -Admin Grace


Genre: Fluff, angst? idk somebody pls just give JB a break

Length: 2.1k

Keep reading

Constant

A/N: Hello this is my first y/n imagine, i tried to keep it as gender neutral as possible. I do plan on writing a sequel to it if it is requested. {probably will anyways} I hope you enjoy it!! {also please excuse any grammar or spelling errors}

Warnings: lots of angst, and idk what else??

Prompt: You are about to go on a mission deemed classified, but things take a strain on your relationship.

Pairing: Reader X Cassian Andor 

Fandom: Star Wars // Rogue One


Your hands ran through your hair clawing out all the knots form a restless night of tossing and turning. Your heart was beating so softly it was difficult to catch your breath. You sat up in your bed staring at the empty space beside you.

It was for the best. You told yourself. It was for the cause, it was simple. There was nothing for you to worry about. You have been on plenty of missions like this before, you were ready.

Only that was not the hardest part. It was telling Cassian. Looking into his eyes and telling him you had to leave without any contact throughout the whole mission. How worried he would sound in his voice as he would tell you to be careful.

This thought gnawed at you. Kept you from sleeping and focusing. You had to tell him eventually, but the time was never right. Mon-Mothma would give you a bunch of precautions and remind you the expectations. It was all the same.

Cassian has been on his own mission since you have gotten yours. Your mission was supposed to be normal, a two person job. Like any other mission you had received. Only you, the council, and your partner were supposed to know. You couldn’t tell Cassian anything but vague details.

It’s a normal mission. Just a simple mission. Cassian, I’ll be back in a month. No that could never work for Cassian. He would never hold you back on a mission. But his worry was always present. He trusted you, but he couldn’t lose you.

You two had always had each other’s back, growing stronger and connecting with each mission given. And eventually, but very slowly developing feelings for one another. You both were closed off, reserved And after a year and a few months of training and missions you both have developed an intimate relationship.

Both slowly opening up to the new relationship. Taking everything slowly. The first time you two kissed was in his quarters as you two made a set plan for the mission you two were going on.

It was a simple mission. Go onto a neutral planet make sure the imperial troops were nowhere to be found. Simple enough. “I was searching if the places best to land for Imperial troops, and I found out that there was underground tunnels still able to access. There hasn’t been any recent sightings of Imperial ships so if there is anyone there they would be in the tunnels.” You spoke surely without looking up from your notes.

Cassian looked at you focusing on your words and smiling as you finished. And once you looked up he leaned closer and put his palm on your cheek softly and brought his lips towards yours. The kiss started off gentle and awkward, Cassian didn’t know if you felt the same way. But once you kissed back he got his answer.

You pulled away before the kiss could get any deeper. Cassian looked at you worried and ashamed. His tan cheeks getting a hint of pink. You noticed his embarrassment and smiled. You then leaned in to kiss him on the forehead. Then you two went back to your mission.

No words about that moment where said until after the mission. But the feeling was felt strongly between you two. By then end of the mission the relationship soon started up. You two see each other at night and during any free time in private. You both hated PDA. Everything was great. Of course some minor fights, but when you two worked you really worked. Everything was just great.

But this time was different. This was a mission you had to withhold from Cassian knowing. “No one outside of this room can know what we are looking for. The more people know the more casualties. It is best to leave everyone in the dark about this.” Mon-Mothma spoke seriously looking directly at you and your partner in the mission Whittaker [pronounced: wit-a-ker].

Whittaker was a mousy man. Very quiet but a great U-wing fighter. He had messy brown hair and brown eyes, he was fairly young so any signs of a growing beard was nowhere to be found. You never knew much about him but the basics. He normally kept to himself, but he sure was attentive.

You were unsure to even take the mission, but it was too late, Mon-Mothma had already started to speak of the plans. “You will go to a month long journey into a planet systems we have reason to believe the Empire is occupying. However their motives are unclear there had been a few activity going around. Find any Empire ship and blow them up. It should take you at most a month, it’s a simple two person job and we have some detonators ready for you two.” Mon-Mothma said looking at you and Whittaker.

The mission was simple, but to travel a month in the same ship would be difficult to keep hidden from the Empire’s eyes and spies. “Turn off all communicating and tracking devices on your ship. We can’t have an imperial officer hacking into the system.” A general spoke, sounding doubtful of the whole mission. You began to doubt it all as well.

“The detonators are already connected to the Empire’s system. Detonators that should have gone unnoticed. You two just need to get close enough to the ship to attach it and blow it up. You two will have to get out as soon as possible. We lost many pilots for putting the device on, their lives should not be in vain.” Mon-Mothma said looking straight at you. You were a fast pilot and she knew that. “Okay meeting is dismissed, your coordinates will be supplied in the ship, you have an hour to get your things and head to ship #074. And may the force be with you.”

You and Whittaker went your separate ways for now, and you headed to your quarters. Hoping Cassian would come back when you already left. Telling him face to face was too difficult, the coward’s way out was favorable. You didn’t even know what to say to him. ‘Hey I’m going on a mission for a month and I can’t tell you where I am going and don’t try to contact me. Bye!’ That would never work.

The way to your quarters seemed so long, like the halls would never end. You had this empty feeling inside as you reached your door. You turned your knob and saw Cassian sitting at the edge of your bed. His head poped up smiling softly as he looked at you. And your heart dropped.

There was no turning back now. Lying to him was hard, and you knew you were going to worry him. Immediately you went you a bag and then went to your drawer taking her clothes quickly and shoving them into her bag. You tried to avoid looking into his gaze.

Cassian stood up walking behind you his hands trying to stop taking yours from packing. You gave up and turned around. His face was slightly beat up from his mission, the smell of leather and oil stuck with him. You sighed your fingers gently grazing his wounds. Cassian winced but kept his eyes on you. He looked concerned, his other hand at your waist. “What’s wrong?” Cassian asked softly, his voice low and calm.

“Are you okay?”

“Don’t change the subject. Why are you packing? You’re - You’re not leaving the rebellion are you? I haven’t heard any missions that you are involved in.” He said rushed, Cassian was worried. When he asked if you were leaving the look in his eyes was absolute pain. He couldn’t lose you. But this was something you had to do. Everything you did was for the rebellion.

“I’m leaving.” Those words struck Cassian like a meteorite crashing. Your heart sunk as you realized you hurt him. You turned away from his eyes, that was too painful to look into. Your back was turned to him as you continued to shove everything in a small bag. Tears threatened both of your eyes, you were hurting. But you kept reminding yourself, I had to. This is my duty.

His hand left your waist and he walked a few steps back. He watched you for a while grabbing your things and packing them. You did all you could not to cry, but it was a struggle. “Please, you can’t really leave. You are one of the most dedicated fighters I have ever seen..” Cassian spoke with disbelief,  he didn’t know how to take it all in. This was too much, you couldn’t leave him. You were his only constant.

“Cassian, please don’t do that. Don’t make me feel terrible about this.”

“Then don’t go!” He spoke louder than his previous quiet disbelief tone. You could feel him hurting, and it was your fault. You didn’t know how you could live with yourself after this. He trusted you, but now here you are leaving him, just like everyone else. This was just salt to the wound. No fight was ever like this, but then again you never had to keep anything from Cassian. “Just stay, please. That’s all you have to do.” His voice was getting desperate, he knew he was losing you.

You turned to him, stopping your packing, “I’ll be gone for a month. I can’t tell you where I am going, or what I’m doing. I just need you to trust me, please. Trust that I will be okay, that I will come back.” You spoke softly your eyes blinking slowly to hide any tears. You walked to him your hand reaching to him, but he stepped back. Your heart broke into a million pieces. With that you looked at him, your voice shaking as you pleaded, “Trust me.”

Cassian did as well as he could to hide any tears that would fall. But he was not strong enough to do that, a few tears slipped from his eyes and rolled gently down his cheeks. “I can’t.” Then he left. Cassian walked out the door and left you standing in an empty room. The walls felt like they were going to cave in. You sucked in deep breath sighed, letting the tears you once held back, fall down. You couldn’t go after him, you couldn’t tell him. You had your orders, and you followed them. But you had to admit, that hurt like hell.

You finally finished packing, your eyes still watery and had a red undertone. You made your way out of your quarters and to the platform ship #074. There awaited Whittaker, he had just finished putting his bags into the ship. You went up to him and he helped you with your bags. He gave you a questioning look, “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just want to get this mission over with and come home okay.” You said not in any mood to sit and talk about your feelings. You had a mission, a mission that needed to be done. That was all you could focus on. The only thing distracting you from the pain of the previous conversation.

You and Whittaker went into the ship and began to disable all communicating devices and tracking. You nearly destroyed the back-ups out of rage. Once all of that was done you and Whittaker sent off to search planet systems looking for any Imperial ships occupying any neutral planet systems. Throughout your mission it was all a dead end. No Imperial ships sighted.

The past month was unbearable for Cassian. He couldn’t sleep, or eat. He was a mess, he only focused on missions where one wrong move can be deadly. He was beyond hurt. K-2, his droid and best friend saw this drastic change in Cassian and did everything to help his friend. But it just wasn’t enough. Cassian needed you. His missions were the only thing that kept him sane, whenever someone would ask how he was, he wouldn’t answer. He couldn’t find the words to say, so he said nothing.

The month dragged on and he saw that empty space where ship #074 rested. He knew you were on it. But each time he went to the Contact Center they always told him ‘the pilots must have disconnected the lines.’ All hope seemed to be lost.

Cassian could not sleep, images from the last time he had ever talked to you haunted him. He trusted you, what he said was purely from rage. But those words he could never take back. Each day was the same; wake up, try to eat, go to the Contact Center, hope, lose hope, and find whatever mission he could occupy himself with. Everyday he would just be waiting that ship #074 to come back home.

After a month and a week his hope was getting smaller and smaller. Thoughts of you dead were now surfacing into his subconscious. But he continued his day like any other. K-2 kept bugging him to eat, he only took a few bites and left to the contact room.

Once he got there he saw people running into the room. He quickly made his way in looking at a saw a lieutenant trying to make a clear connection from the static. Cassian made his was from a few people standing quietly. The static continued, then a voice spoke through.

“Ship #074 to Contact Center do you read me? Mission was an ambush. Captain Whittaker was a traitor. I’m in need of medical attention..”

“This is Contact Center, please state your name and location”, the lieutenant spoke calmly as he tried to trace the missing ship. Cassian heard your voice and he smiled as warm tears rolled down his cheek. He never thought he would hear your voice again. “Ship #074 please state your current coordinates.” The lieutenant said to you once more. All of the sudden static began to cover your voice.

“33 nor-…planet..c…they are close…im trying to..escape…dead..”

“Ship #074 can you please repeat that, over.”

There was silence, Cassian’s heart was racing. “Whittaker is dead, I can’t shake the Imperial troops.” You said quickly as you broke the silence. Cassian was terrified, his hands were shaking and his mouth was dry. His eyes looked around the room for a moment and saw that everyone in it was immensely focused on your static voice. “My coordinates are,” static came back once more, “help.”

That was it. All communication was lost, there was no more signal. Just the silence in the room. But no one felt the lost connection harder than Cassian.

[you don’t know me, you don’t wear my chains]

idk what this is, other than that it wanted to be written, and i was having a lot of young!emma and killian feelings. so, cursed lieutenant duckling AU. probably a one-shot, but who knows. angst warning.

Boston is not the best place to be living out of a car in winter. It’s an even worse place to be living out of a car in winter with a six-month-old baby, as there’s nowhere to stash Henry’s Goodwill car seat but the front, while Emma and Killian curl up together in the back, cramped and restless, woken to tend to him or by the hum of passing traffic, or to ensure the windshield hasn’t iced up, because while they’ve managed to avoid one of those infamous blizzards that shuts down the entire Northeast for a week, the temperature has rarely struggled above freezing since November. They don’t like to drive around much because they don’t have gas money, and that, combined with the legendary difficulty of finding a parking spot, means they mostly stay put. But they can’t remain in one place as obvious vagrants forever, even in the seedier sections of the city, and with both of them used to a life on the move, this feels different. Stranger. Oppressive. As much as they want a home, they don’t want it like this.

Still, it could be worse. At least they’re here. At least they’re together. Killian is out pounding the pavement all day looking for work, and after Emma suggested that he cut his shaggy hippie ponytail and fringe – or rather she cut it, chopping methodically away with a pair of blunt scissors while he was as uptight as a princess about the whole thing – he’s managed to keep them in enough money to feed Henry, if not always themselves, and book into a hotel room if the cold ever gets really bad. She loves those nights, those sweet rare nights where they’re warm and comfortable, can take a hot shower and stretch out in a real bed rather than the tiny, cement-hard black leather boot of the Bug, where she knows they can sleep without the fear of an officer knocking on the window, or Henry abruptly turning into an infant icicle, or any of those. She’s tried to persuade Killian that they should do this more often, they should sneak in between housekeepings or break into a low-rent motel where they’d probably just be glad there was anyone staying there at all, but he remains stubborn. He doesn’t want to steal things. He wants to do this the right way. And he doesn’t want to take any risks of what happened in Portland happening again.

Emma supposes grudgingly that he has a point. Even clear across the country, she’d be foolish to think they had an entirely fresh start. Of the two of them, Killian is the cautious, traditional, straight-laced one, the one who vociferously objected when she wanted to just steal food when they were hungry, who fretted that she was running too many risks by keeping the Bug, who still has this confounded old-fashioned belief that the world is a just and upright place filled with essentially good people that they should be loathe to take advantage of – much as she loves him, Emma doesn’t understand half of how he thinks sometimes. But if it’s ever a question of applying the five-finger discount or making her go hungry, Killian always chooses the former. Even insists that he do the stealing so she won’t get caught, which they furtherly disagree about; of the two of them, Emma is the one who knows how to do this. Killian is as conspicuous as a four-piece mariachi band when he’s trying to shoplift, sweating and nervous and stammering and loitering casually by the shelf with the food he definitely, no sir, is not going to try to stuff under his jacket the instant the bored cashier turns their back or goes for a smoke break. Nope. Nothing to see here, everyone. Move along.

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Cute Thing He Does for Valentine's Day - The Vamps

Brad: 

He’d probably put a lot of thought into this day since he wanted it to be special and take this as an opportunity to show just how much he loves you. I feel like he’d write a song, spending the entire week(s) before Valentine’s Day to create his masterpiece. He would skillfully form a melody and sentimental lyrics about his love for you, but it would be a really fun and upbeat song, nothing slow (I think he’d have a lot of fun with this because he would make sassy and funny comments in the lyrics about moments you had together or funny/stupid things you do that he finds adorable). On Valentine’s Day morning, he would come to your house accompanied with flowers and your favourite chocolate/candies. When he’d hand them to you, you’d be really happy and give him a quick hug and kiss, and go to set the stuff inside. When you come back, he’d still be standing there and you’d ask him why he isn’t coming inside and he’d grab your hand and tell you to come out on your front lawn or driveway and then he’d get his guitar out from his car and literally just start playing the song for you. IT’D BE ADORABLE AND I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN BYE

James: 

I think James would want to surprise you with something later on in the day. He’d play it kind of cool throughout the morning and then BAM. He’d probably get your friends or parents to take you out for the morning to keep you busy and distracted, while he went into your house (with permission obviously like he isn’t going to break in lol) and set up a trail of rose petals, battery candles and roses, starting from the front door and ending in your room. This of course would lead to him, and many other cute little gifts placed on your bed like chocolates, a stuffed animal or maybe even jewellery depending on how long you’ve been dating. It’ll be cute no matter what he gets you though trust me. When you get home, you’d be really confused to see the trail and yet, you’d still obviously figure out that he set this entire thing up for you and you would turn to your parents who’d just smirk and walk into the ktichen, leaving you to follow the trail up to your room, gathering roses as you went. Then of course, you would slowly go into your room, seeing it filled with more candles, rose petals and gifts with James standing in front of the bed smiling nervously at you. OH GOD YOU’D PROBABLY GET REALLY HAPPY AND GO TO HUG HIM AND THEN FREAKING KISS BC HE’S THE BEST BF. 

Connor: Connor would plan SUCH a cute picnic for you two. It would probably be at a local park or even his backyard for more privacy. It would be really simple though with either take-out inside (idk about you but I would totally be down for a guy giving me take-out at a picnic on vday don’t judge ppl) the basket or something homemade and easy. You’d spend most of the time laughing and telling stories about how you met and all the crazy things you guys do and then he’d probably reach into the basket (it’s a big basket) and pull out a bouquet of flowers for you and a really thoughtful card/letter that explains why he fell for you and how you make him so much happier. You’d end the night with dancing because he made a playlist of cute slow songs on his phone beforehand. During the dance, you’d whisper a thank you and an ‘I love you’ to him, literally smiling so much because he’s adorable. BUT THEN HE’D WHISPER SOMETHING SO EFFING CUTE INTO YOUR EAR LIKE: “I’m so lucky to have you” OR “You deserve all of this, and the world. I love you”. BYE FRIENDS

Tristan: 

Ok, Tristan would make this Valentine’s day thing super fun and adventurous for you. He’d most likely plan something like a scavenger hunt, which would eventually lead to a certain location where he’d be. So you’d wake up to find a cute note posted on your beside table, and get really excited as you’d read the words, knowing exactly where to go next. You’d spend the entire day running around reading note after note, and eventually get to the last clue, which is accompanied by a letter. The letter would obviously describe his feelings for you and how he’s really grateful he has you as his girlfriend. THEN you’d you go to where that last clue hinted and immediately see him standing there in the distance of a field, in front of a table with flowers in his fist, smile on his face and a huge stuffed animal sitting in one of the chairs. He’d have the biggest grin on his face once he’d notice you jogging towards him and you’d jump into his arms and hug him. OH GOD JUST IMAGINE TRIS DOING THIS 

A/N: I’M BACK LOVELY PEOPLE. This preference is honestly a mess lol so i’m sorry but at least I actually posted this one, right? My other ones, which are neater and better written are coming hopefully tomorrow or monday! Don’t mind the caps lock lol i’m just really excited and filled with so many emotions right now because I got into one of my university choices.

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you all had a great day and feel loved today! Even if you don’t have a valentine, don’t worry because there is some guy out there who will soon be maybe in the next few years to come! Plus, we can all be valentines bc who needs boys (if i have any male followers which i doubt i do… sorry bros). OK IM RAMBLING BYE xx

I Miss You | (Luke one shot)

a/n: i read this quote and was inspired: “He’ll grab your waist and whisper in your ear but six months later you’ll find yourself drunk texting him that you miss him and he won’t respond.” [x]
masterlist

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

Luke had typed the words so many times he could almost do it without looking, close his eyes and let his fingers wander across the screen and almost guarantee that’s what’d come up. He did that – closed his eyes, and exhaled long and deep, his hands toying with the phone in his hands. It felt like a bomb between his fingers, waiting for a sign of life; waiting for it to detonate, your name buzzing against his skin. It didn’t go off, though. It never did.

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AN: Hi! Sorry about not posting this yesterday, I had a crazy day and pretty much all I could do was answer asks between things, sorry! Anyway, thank you to quicksilverdlife and anon for sending in these prompts! *I do not own the gif, found on google. Please ignore any spelling errors! Xoxoxoxoxoxo :3

Pairing: Pietro (AoU) X Reader

Prompt(s):

1.) Can you spa one shot where the reader and Pietro get engaged and so they plan the wedding! A month before the wedding she finds out that Pietro slept with Natasha twice. They get in a big fight and so Wanda comforts her. Pietro gives a shitty apology which makes everything worse. (Idk how) a very fluffy ending would be nice like as fluffy as you can make it. And the longer the better!!!!!😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️ thanks!

2.) Can you do a one shot where Pietro has been dating the reader for 7 months so he proposes to her and so she says yes! As they are planning the wedding the reader learns that he slept with another girl when he was drunk and he did it again but completely sober! She learns this and they get in a heated argument so they end their relationship and the two of you are miserable and you can’t get over each other. Wanda notices this and tries to get you back together! And make it as fluffy as possible!

((Wow, these requests were almost identical XD))

Warnings: Swears, cheating , mentions of sex~~~ Also, this story contains a reestablished relationship post-cheating, so if that will upset anyone please do not read.

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“Mistakes”

Seven months, seven. They had been so blissful, so right that it wasn’t surprising when you found yourself standing in front of a knelt Pietro with a ring in his fingers. You had been so happy that it was hard for you just to whisper the word ’yes’. Everything felt so good, nothing could go wrong.

Months passed, people came in and out of your lives, and Pietro made a mistake that ruined you. Just a month before you two would have been bound together by marriage, and it all fell apart in the worst of ways.

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