i touched myself to this picture

i got good lighting in my room today, so i finally took a haul picture of the stationery i bought as a birthday gift to myself 😂

uniball jetstream refills, tombow dual brush pens, and pentel fude touch sign pen from jetpens; kokuyo dual soft color highlighters from amazon :)

// taken from my studygram

I loved you too much to notice. When you started coming home later I pushed it to the back of my mind. When your jaw clenched and your fingers dug into your palm I ignored it. When shot glasses replaced picture frames I kept a smile. I let myself see the you I first met. The you who had a touch so gentle it was as if there was no contact at all. The you who’s smile was so bright it almost made you forget about the world outside. You, who chased away my demons even when they towered over you. You who promised forever, who promised a future. You who laughed like a child and loved like it kept you alive. The you who loved art and would jump during horror movies. The you who swore to protect me from the monsters in the movies and the closet. But soon enough the monsters from the movies could be seen behind your eyes and while I was drunk on you, you were drunk on whiskey.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #2

Posting a picture of myself in a bathing suit is VERY hard for me. I have never been one to show off too much skin, and it’s not just because I’m a larger woman.
After this amazing #Wrestlemania weekend I had a chance to speak to a bunch of young women & men. Most, if not all of them, mentioned that my #BodyPositive mindset had helped them to be able to find confidence within themselves, which really touched me and even brought me to tears numerous times. Thankfully I have always had a family that has supported me and has always reminded me that my beauty comes from within, especially my mother. She constantly reminded me that “no matter how beautiful you are on the outside, if you’re insides are ugly, that will be what everyone sees & feels.” Don’t get me wrong, there have been many occasions where I wished I could be thinner or have a different nose or hairline to fit in, but I realized that fitting in is not always as important as it seems; I realized that I love standing out in positive ways!

I love sending a message of self-confidence and getting to share that with people. Self-confidence also goes along with being healthy! I work out all the time, I eat healthy & try (emphasis on TRY) to get as much sleep as I can. There are obviously times where I love to pig out and enjoy myself, but I always make sure to never lose my focus on being healthy, because no matter what, your health is the number one most important thing in life. We aren’t meant to look the same, but we are all meant to be healthy. We are all beautiful in different ways. Staying healthy adds to beauty. Even more importantly, it will increase your self-confidence. That’s been my experience at least 😉. #JaxJungle #NotLikeMost #PowerOfBeingYou

I imagine that when Marinette finally asks Adrien on a date it will be with full Ladybug confidence and full Marinette awkwardness. (She probably fell into that position and only narrowly avoided calling him “hot stuff”)

Thank you to everyone who came to the stream! Bonus doodles under the cut:

Keep reading

Imagination Land

I’ve been able to read minds since I was a child. It’s not really like how you see in the movies, though. It’s not like listening to the radio. It’s much more immersive. I experience everything as if I’m really there. It’s a thrilling experience when you read the right minds. The trouble is really with finding minds worth reading.

Frankly, reading adults is as fun as doing taxes. Kids’ minds, on the other hand, are amazing. They’re not bogged down with work and stress and dissatisfaction. The mind of a child is filled with imagination and adventure. That’s why I became a kindergarten teacher.

I sit at my desk and watch as my class colors. I smile as they doodle away with their crayons. I reach out and peek into their minds. In an instant, I take off with Carlos in a rocket ship, hurtling past swirling galaxies. I visit far-off planets full of blob-like aliens and two-headed martians. I smile and move on to Marcy. I can smell the candy canes and jelly beans as I’m pulled into a veritable candyland, complete with gumdrop castles and caramel waterfalls. She plays hopscotch with gingerbread men, giggling her musical little laugh.

I’m about to move on to Thomas when I feel a tug at my dress. I look down to see Sarah. She’s one of the most adorable little girls I’ve ever seen. Beautiful brown curls, big puppy dog eyes, and a gleaming smile.

“Miss Dupree, I made this for you!” she exclaims, handing me a paper. I take it from her and see myself in stick figure form. “I Luv Ms. Doopry” is scrawled across the top in multiple colors.

“I love it!” I exclaim and give her a great big hug.

Sarah’s only been with the class for a couple days and I have yet to have a peek at her hopes and dreams. I reach out and touch her mind. And I nearly vomit.

I choke as I’m hit with wave after wave of the hot, fetid stench of death. My mind’s eye is blinded by a darkness which seems almost alive, spilling into my brain, seeking to blot out everything it touches. In the void, I feel slimy coils roiling around me, wrapping around my legs, pressing against my face, a gigantic beast hungrily probing the darkness in search for food. And then a keening wail rises up, nearly bursting my eardrums. The screams of thousands of souls, crying out in sorrow. Crying out for death.

And then I’m back in the classroom. I let go of Sarah and compose myself, hoping she can’t see me shaking.

“That’s a lovely picture, Sarah,” I say, nearly whispering. “Now go along and get ready for snack time, alright?”

She nods happily and skips off. I watch her as she goes. The minds of children are the most wonderful thing in the universe. But whatever that thing in the blue dress is, it is no child.

This is OCD.
This photo was taken 5 years ago and shows, roughly, how much hand sanitiser I would go through in a month. I’d average around 20 bottles, and depending on cost, would spend about £20 a month.
There is over a litre of sanitiser in this picture. 

When my OCD was at its worst, I couldn’t touch anything. I wouldn’t open a door without covering the handle with my sleeve, I wouldn’t borrow pens off friends in school, I would’t even touch my own tv remote. I also couldn’t touch people; I didn’t touch or cuddle my own mother for well over a year. Life was lonely, and extremely difficult.

As though it was yesterday, I remember a particular CBT session where my therapist told me she wanted me to stop using this stuff. This was one of the final stages to my treatment; most of my other compulsions were pretty well managed at the time, but my fear of germs was always the most prominent aspect of my OCD. My Mam was set next to me, and she was told not to buy any more and to take every last bottle that I had. Never before in my life had I been more petrified. I had such a heavy reliance on sanitising gel that I couldn’t picture my life without it. 

It was hard. I struggled. I cried. My Mam cried.
However, as I sit here today I’m proud to say that I haven’t touched a bottle of hand sanitiser in around four years.

To everyone out there struggling with OCD at the minute; things get better. I don’t believe I’ll ever fully recover, but I can manage myself much more easily. Yes, I still have my bad days where I wash my hands constantly, or I count, or I worry, or I tap things repeatedly until it ‘feels right’, but for the most part, I am free of the fear and the pain and the guilt that come with OCD. 

Don’t let anyone tell you that OCD isn’t a ‘real illness’, don’t let anyone abuse you by taking advantage of your obsessions/compulsions, and don’t for a second believe that things can’t improve. They can, and they will.

If I can go from using a litre of hand sanitiser every month to dropping an oreo on the kitchen floor but eating it anyway, then so can you.

Stay strong, and stay safe.

BEHAVE

SUMMARY - With Steve on a mission and Bucky in a meeting , you decide to have a little fun sexting. Things get dirty when Bucky comes back from the meeting . 

WARNINGS- daddy kink .SMUT , NSFW GIF , oral (MR , FR), phone sex 

WORDS - 3k+

A/N - This was completely Taw @supersoldierslover idea . Thank you so much . You know I love you .And I am so fucking happy that you liked it . If any warnings should be added pls send me an ask . I do not want to make anyone uncomfortable.


[ insert Steve and Bucky image , since my stupid wifi wasn’t uploading a pic]

Walking around the tower , eating biscuits , listening to music , talking to few of the agents , you spend the last hour waiting for Bucky to come back from the meeting .

2 WEEKS . Two weeks since Bucky and Steve were sent on different missions . Two weeks since you had seen either of them . Two weeks since you had touched yourself . Two weeks since you were properly fucked . Two weeks filled with burning desire to be filled , and to orgasm . But you still remember the last words uttered by your boyfriends before leaving for their mission .

“No touching . Okay baby doll . Behave and you will be rewarded .”

There was no way they’d know if you did pleasure yourself , but you wanted to behave . You knew if you refrained until the time they came , you’d cum harder than ever .

But now Bucky was back home in the tower , but you couldn’t do anything . The meeting was sure to last another hour . So you decided to have a little fun of yours .

You went back to the room , put on your sexy matching lingerie that you knew both of them liked .

It was pink in colour . They liked it because you looks sexy and innocent at the same time.

You stood in front of the mirror admiring the way it looked .Picking up the phone in your left hand , your right hand under your panties , you clicked a picture and send it to the group chat that you guys created for the three of you . A little teasing wouldn’t hurt .

Keep reading

ease

length: 1.6k

genre(s): angst+fluff

triggers/warnings: mentions of blood and very minor character injury

simon shows up to the flat with a black eye and a cut lip, refusing to talk about what happened, so a worried penelope asks baz to come over (or the one where simon’s insecure, and baz is terrible at comforting his dragon boyfriend)

a/n: @cherryonsimon is the greatest beta and y’all should go tell her nice things :D

for day three of @snowbaz-feda!!



Penelope

The door to the flat swings open and Simon barrels his way inside. I gasp when I see him: his shirt is torn with flecks of red (Is that blood?) splattered around the neckline; his hair looks dirty and matted, like he’s been rolling around on the ground; and there’s a definite limp in his step. After slamming the door shut, he winces and grabs his wrist, and that’s when I notice his eye.

“Fuck a nine-toed troll, Simon! What happened to you?”

He won’t look at me and the expression on his face is one I haven’t seen in a long time. It frightens me a bit, but it’s still just as important to me that Simon knows I’m not afraid of him, so I take a step forward. He recoils and pushes past me towards his room, slamming the door once inside, making me flinch.

The sound reverberates through the living room before plunging the flat into absolute silence. It’s horrible.

After taking a moment to collect myself, I walk towards his room, hesitating a beat before knocking. “Simon?” No answer. I try again, knocking louder this time, but he still won’t answer. I try turning the knob, but it’s locked. Chewing on my lip, I consider spelling it open, but that would be breaking unspoken roommate rules, so I do the only thing I can think of right now.

I ring Baz.

* * *
Baz

I’m sitting in an evening lecture when my mobile starts to vibrate. It’s on the desk and the noise makes a few of my fellow students turn around and stare. I sneer at them (old habits), and look to see who’s calling.

It’s Bunce.

It’s not that we aren’t close enough to call each other, it’s just that we never do. The fact that she has, and especially during a time she knows I’m at school, makes my blood run cold. I’m so distracted with worry that I forget to move the desk over, and when I go to stand it pins me to the chair. Cursing loudly–and drawing even more curious eyes–I slam the damned piece of wood out of the way, and stalk out of the hall.

I manage to answer on the last ring.

“Baz?” Bunce’s voice sounds strange through the speaker, like she’s trying not to cry, “can you come over? Something’s happened with Simon.”

I drop the phone and it shatters on the pavement.

* * *
Penelope

For the second time tonight, the door to the flat swings open. Only this time it’s Baz who practically falls through, righting himself at the last minute. He looks like he ran the entire distance between school and the flat. The screen of the mobile he’s clutching is shattered, something I don’t remember seeing before. Is that my fault?

“B–” I don’t even get a chance to say his full name when he marches towards me, our difference in height making itself known as he towers over me. (In reality it’s only several inches.) (It feels like miles.)

“Where is he?”

I point to Simon’s room and Baz nods. I wish I could tell him what happened, but I don’t exactly know myself. I just know I can’t fix this alone.

Baz

The smell of blood hit me as soon as I entered the flat and it only gets stronger the closer I get to the bedroom.

Snow’s door is locked, so I cast when one door closes. It works, and the one in front of me opens wide. I can’t see anything at first; Snow’s drawn the curtains shut and even turned out the light in the en suite, drowning the room in darkness. I use my mobile to guide me towards his bed and the red lump that I assume is my boyfriend.

“Snow?” I ask, biting my lip. Perhaps I should use his first name, given the situation, but I try and reserve that for when I really need it, like when we’re being soft. Or when I want him to know I’m afraid. “Snow?” I try again and the lump doesn’t move, but it does yelp when I poke it with the tip of my wand.

“Go away,” I hear him mumble, but I know he doesn’t mean it. (The door spell wouldn’t have worked if he hadn’t wanted to let me in.)

I square my shoulders. “No.” I need Snow to tell me what happened and I’ll stand here all night if I have to. This must occur to him, because he lifts his head.  

My breath catches when I see his black eye and bloody lip. I reach out to touch them, pulling my hand back at the last minute.

“What happened to you?”

He shrugs and I want to strangle him.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” I snap.

“I got in a fight on my way home.”

“No shit.”

“There were 3 or 4 guys; I don’t remember. They wanted my wallet, but I’d forgotten it at work and they weren’t very happy about that.”

I try to stop myself from picturing the scene in my head. Snow on the ground, surrounded by these men, being hurt by these men. Snow. Defenseless. I can’t process it.

Although he hasn’t held that title in a long time, Snow will always be the chosen one to me; seeing him so broken and defeated over something like this is overwhelming. He’s supposed to be strong, he’s supposed to be brave, he’s supposed to save the world. He’s supposed to be able to save himself.

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen Simon beaten and bloody, but it’s the worst time. It’s not that his injuries are severe (they really aren’t), it’s just that…

This wasn’t supposed to happen any more. We were supposed to disguise as regular Normals and live our happily ever after; nothing bad was supposed to touch us again.

Then he goes and gets himself mugged. It’s so horribly mundane, so insignificant next to every creature and task he’s taken on, yet this is the thing that breaks him. I’m furious on his behalf. I want to hurt the people who hurt him.

I swallow. “What happened next?”

“I tried–I tried to call–my sword…but–”

“It didn’t come.” I don’t even bother phrasing it as a question. I can’t believe this, “you were going to try fighting off a bunch of thugs with a sword? Are you daft?”

He looks miserable. “I was distracted by that long enough to give them a chance to jump me, and, well…” he rolls his hurt wrist and I catch it between my fingers, pulling my wand from my pocket with my other hand. He grits his teeth as I cast get well soon, listening for the crack that signifies it worked. I bring his now healed wrist to my lips and kiss it, feeling his pulse thumping under my lips.

Snow clenches his hand into a fist and I drop his arm, looking up at his face and hating what I see there. The healing spell had taken care of his eye and lip, but that lip is quivering now, and fat tears are beginning to rolls down his cheeks. He squeezes his eyes shut and starts gulping air, his arms wrapped around his knees and head bowed.

I want to reach out and touch him; make this better, make this go away, make him stop. I want to make him stop. He’s almost sobbing now and I don’t know what to do. I have to stop this.

“Shut up, Simon! Just shut up!”

His head snaps up and he looks at me as if I’ve slapped him. I almost feel like I have.

“What the fuck, Baz?” his breath catches on my name and I feel my heart sink just that much more.

I didn’t mean it. I want to apologize, but the words won’t come; they’re stuck in my throat and I clench my fists as I try to force them out. He’s still staring at me, his face etched in an angry frown, and I give up on speaking.

He watches me warily as I sit down on the bed and I flinch. The scent of blood is stronger now, and I can feel my fangs threatening to pop. I curse the fact that I haven’t fed recently and try to will them to stay put. The last thing I need to do is make the situation worse.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper and he blinks at me. “I’m sorry,” I repeat and his face crumples as he falls forward. I let him bury his face into my chest, let him clutch at my shirt, let his tears soak the fabric. I let him cry until he can’t anymore. His breathing is even and quiet now; and I’m relieved.

Simon

Baz pulls me close, pressing a kiss against my temple: once, twice, three times. I can tell he thinks I’m asleep, because he’s murmuring things he’d never let me hear otherwise. He’s calling me Simon and telling me he loves me and how scared he was and how brave and stupid I am.

He starts scratching lightly at the spot between my wings, the one he knows I love, and I’m melting into the mattress.

He somehow manages to press himself even closer, his breathing tickling my ear as he whispers, “you’re so bloody stupid, you know that? I don’t need a Chosen One; I don’t need a fairy tale; I certainly don’t need some self-sacrificing superhuman with a hero complex. I just want you, Simon Snow.” He stops to kiss my shoulder.

“I just want you.” It’s a reassurance and a promise. And I believe it.

I want you too, I think back at him, I want you too.

touch is such a primal part of Jamie’s nature. to be deprived of touch for so long scarred him deeply. reduced his humanity. yet another aspect that Claire ultimately restored to him.

At night, you would hear the sounds of desperation, stifled sobs or stealthy rustlings. Some men would, in the end, reach out to another—sometimes to be rebuffed with shouts and blows. Sometimes not.  

      I wasn’t sure what he was trying to tell me, nor what it had to do with Thomas Christie. Or, perhaps, Lord John Grey.  

      “Did any of them ever … touch you?” I asked tentatively.  

      “No. None of them would ever think to touch me,” he said very softly. “I was their chief. They loved me—but they wouldna think, ever, to touch me.”  

      He took a deep, ragged breath.  

      “And did you want them to?” I whispered. I could feel my own pulse begin to throb in my fingertips, against his skin.  

      “I hungered for it,” he said so softly I could barely hear him, close as I was. “More than food. More than sleep—though I wished most desperately for sleep, and not only for the sake of tiredness. For when I slept, sometimes I saw ye.  

      “But it wasna the longing for a woman—though Christ knows, that was bad enough. It was only—I wanted the touch of a hand. Only that.”

      His skin had ached with need, ’til he felt it must grow transparent, and the raw soreness of his heart be seen in his chest.  

      He made a small rueful sound, not quite a laugh.  

      “Ye ken those pictures of the Sacred Heart—the same as we saw in Paris?”  

      I knew them—Renaissance paintings, and the vividness of stained glass glowing in the aisles of Notre Dame. The Man of Sorrows, his heart exposed and pierced, radiant with love.  

    “I remembered that. And I thought to myself that whoever saw that vision of Our Lord was likely a verra lonely man himself, to have understood so well.”  

      I lifted my hand and laid it on the small hollow in the center of his chest, very lightly. The sheet was thrown back, and his skin was cool.  

      He closed his eyes, sighing, and clasped my hand, hard.  

      “The thought of that would come to me sometimes, and I would think I kent what Jesus must feel like there—so wanting, and no one to touch Him.”

– A Breath of Snow and Ashes

4

Not only have I gained weight, I’ve gained 40+ pounds. I’m touching 260. This is the heaviest I’ve ever been. I haven’t been able to take a picture without having real negative shit to think or say about myself. Which is why I haven’t posted anything in a longgggg time. I haven’t been happy with my body in months since I started noticing the change in my body. Most of the girls on here have followed me because of my confidence that I show off in my posts. And I feel so bad because I’m telling them to love the body God gave them and I can’t even look at a full length mirror.. But you know what? I’m still fly as fuck. Even if I’m 10lbs lighter or 50lbs heavier I’m still sexy. Still kind and attractive and smart and important and genuine and a big motherfucking deal. So here I am, half clothed and loving myself.

Happy Big Girl Appreciation Day! Cuz we slay. ❤️

Maybe in Your Dreams

A fic for @snowbaz-feda
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1622
Summary: At night, Simon dreams about kissing Baz and all the things he loves about him. By daylight, he forgets about all that in the same way he doesn’t allow himself to think. By daylight, he hates Baz and worries that he’s plotting. He’s lucky he doesn’t remember the dreams because it would never go well if he did. Or would it?


Baz hair looks soft. It always does. And I always want to touch it. Now he looks at me, softly. A gaze I’ve never seen from him. Not directed at me, anyway. Then, suddenly, his lips curl into a smile and I’m gone. If only he’d smile like that all the time, if only I could always wash the frown off his face. If only I could make him stop hurting. I know that he is, beneath the surface. I know that, really, Baz Pitch is just like me. It hurts me to know that.

It breaks my heart and his hair looks soft and I want to touch it. That, too, breaks my heart. There’s a reason for that, but I don’t think of it now. All I think about is his jawline. It looks so sharp as though he could cut himself on it. His face is made of edges, but it goes soft when I touch his cheek. His hair frames his face gently, his nose is slightly crooked but it makes the whole picture only more interesting. There’s a storm going on inside his eyes.

I think what I always think when I look at him. Why does he have to be so bloody perfect? Everything about him is.
And then he makes a mistake. Because he whispers: ‘Simon,’ and he should never call me that. Not in that perfect voice of his. Because it’s hard enough to pretend when he hates me, it’s even harder when he doesn’t.

All the rules I’ve set up for myself. I’d break them. Any time. If he just called me by my name.
I bury my hands in his hair and pull him a little closer. He cocks an eyebrow at me and for a second I think we’re fighting but then he urges forward and our lips meet.
Don’t even get me started on his lips. The things he could do with them… But it’s not even about the kissing. It’s being connected to him, being together with him and feeling free. If only I had this kind of freedom.

The alarm clock rings and Simon grunts. It’s the start of another day. He wants to stay in the dream for a few more seconds, but Baz has already left for breakfast. And he needs to watch Baz at all times, because he cares about him… So much…
That thought jerks Simon awake properly. His eyes snap open and he shakes his head, confused. Need to watch Baz… Because he’s plotting. Always is.
He surges and leaps out of the bed. Another day begins. He sighs and goes for the bathroom, thinking about the dream. It was a good dream, he knows that much. But no matter how hard he tries to remember, he can’t imagine what the dream was about.

In the breakfast hall, Simon watches Baz out of the corner of his eye. He’s sneering about something. Simon doesn’t think about the way his hair falls into place. He doesn’t think about how beautiful Baz’ lips would looks smiling. No, he thinks, certainly, Baz doesn’t have any feelings at all. Nothing can hurt him. Nothing can hurt Baz.

As he goes about his day, he thinks about Baz, because he just can’t help it. In the way you’d imagine him thinking about his enemy. Concerned. Fearful. Not in the way he thinks about him every night. In his dreams.


After school, Baz is waiting for him in their room. Simon is suspicious, but he doesn’t say anything. Baz looks strangely thoughtful and Simon wonders why he just looks into space, as though he was trying to solve a riddle. Simon thinks it would be best to just ignore him, but as he sits on his bed, trying to do homework, he feels Baz’ gaze linger on him. Something is wrong. He can tell. There is tension in the air and he doesn’t know where it came from. Suddenly Baz jumps up and Simon is too startled to move. Baz tackles him onto the bed, pinning his hands beside his head.
Calm down, Simon wants to say but all he manages to breathe out is 'Anathema.’
'You need to answer me a question,’ Baz hisses and his voice sounds broken. Simon is panicking a little bit. Not because he’s afraid, but because this situation is strange. Baz doesn’t sound like usual, when he wants to start a fight. No, he sounds emotional, like this is important to him. What could that be?
Simon is too surprised to resist. He doesn’t even defend himself. He just lays still and waits for the question.
'What did you dream about last night?’
'I don’t dream.’
'Everybody dreams.’
'Well, I don’t.’
'I know you do. I hear you talk in your sleep.’
'Then, apparently, I forget about the dreams in the morning.’
'That must mean they aren’t that important.’
No, Simon thinks, but doesn’t bother to correct him. That’s not what it means at all.

'I think, maybe I dream about Agatha.’
'Didn’t you break up?’
'That doesn’t mean that I stopped loving her, does it?’
Baz stays really quiet for a second, he looks down and lets go of Simon’s wrists, taking a step back. For some reason, Simon’s heart clenches.
'Yeah’ Baz says and swallows repeatedly. 'I guess.’
Baz seems weirdly restraint and Simon doesn’t know what’s happening. He doesn’t know what he did wrong, only that he did, and that he wants to stop it.
'Why do you care about my dreams?’ he asks and for some reason, he thinks he knows. But it doesn’t make any sense. Nothing makes sense.
'You said something. In your dream. Something really… weird.’
'What do you mean?’
'Something you would remember if you woke up. Because it would freak you out. But I guess there is a logical explanation to all of this.’
'Baz. What did I say?’
'It doesn’t matter now. I was wrong.’
'Baz.’
'That’s what you said.’
'What?’
'You said 'Baz.’ And then…’
'Then what, Baz? Please.’
'I love you.’
Simon freezes and his mouth goes dry and his heart beat speeds up and then – then he realizes that that is what he said in his dream. Not only that, he remembers it. Suddenly he remembers every thought he ever repressed and every dream he ever imagined for the cruelty of reality.

'Fuck,’ he whispers.

'It’s like you said. You probably dreamed about Agatha. And I was there, trying to snatch her away from you. And that’s why you said my name, before confessing your love to her. That’s what must have happened.’
'Probably? Why do you say probably? What else should I have dreamed?’
’S-sorry, I-’
'No, I asked you a question.’
'I thought that – for some reason – you dreamed… about… me.’
'And that made you angry,’ Simon whispers, eyes wide. 'Didn’t it?’
'Fuck off.’
'Do you know about dreams, Baz? In your dreams, you can’t lie to yourself. In reality, you can.’
'Bullshit. I lie to myself in dreams all the time. And for fuck’s sake, I couldn’t lie to myself when I’m awake if I wanted to. And believe me, I want to.’
'I remember it now. I remember it all. I dream because dreams don’t hurt you. Reality does.’
'What are you on about?’
Simon stands up, stepping closer to Baz, to face him.
'I thought you were plotting. I worried about it all the time. I was stupid.’
'So I keep telling you.’
'Don’t be mean, Baz, please. I’m trying to be honest with you.’
'Honest about what? It’s no secret that you think I’m a lying, mischievous-’
He doesn’t say it, he doesn’t think it, he just does it.
The world is ending. Or maybe it isn’t. He wouldn’t know if it was. He doesn’t know anything. Only that, when he lays his hand on Baz’ cheek, his face doesn’t go soft. It just freezes. And he doesn’t talk any more. He leans closer and then he feels his lips – damn. Damn those lips, this is so much better than dreaming. He buries his hands in Baz’ hair, like he always dreamed of doing. Carefully, he strokes the soft skin beneath Baz’ ear. But Baz doesn’t go soft. He doesn’t do anything. This is not a dream.

When Simon pulls away from him, Baz stares at him in shock.
'What,’ he mutters. 'What was that.’
He looks so confused that, for a moment, Simon pities him.
He smiles ever so sadly. 'This is why it hurts. This is why I’d rather dream. Because in my dreams, you’d kiss me back.’
And Simon will go away, before Baz realizes what happened and punches him. He wishes he had never remembered his dreams. There really was a reason why he didn’t allow himself to think. But now it’s too late. He’ll never be able to forget about kissing Baz.

Looking at Baz hurts, staying here hurts, but he knows that leaving will hurt even more. Still, he turns away.
No need to make it worse than it already is.
Except. There’s a hand. On his arm. A hand that stops him.

'You fool,’ Baz says and Simon would be hurting if he hadn’t said it so softly.
'What do you think I dream about, huh?’

'I don’t know, killing me, maybe?’
'You absolute idiot.’
And then Baz kisses him again.
'This is what I dream about.’
'Then how do we know we’re not dreaming right now?’
'We can’t.’
'So?’
'So, I don’t care.’
'Me neither.’
They kiss again. And when they wake up in the morning, curled up in each others arms, it will still feel like a dream. But it won’t be.

Nia Jax
[April 6th, 2017]

Posting a picture of myself in a bathing suit is VERY hard for me. I have never been one to show off too much skin, and it’s not just because I’m a larger woman. After this amazing #Wrestlemania weekend I had a chance to speak to a bunch of young women & men. Most, if not all of them, mentioned that my #BodyPositive mindset had helped them to be able to find confidence within themselves, which really touched me and even brought me to tears numerous times. Thankfully I have always had a family that has supported me and has always reminded me that my beauty comes from within, especially my mother. She constantly reminded me that “no matter how beautiful you are on the outside, if you’re insides are ugly, that will be what everyone sees & feels.” Don’t get me wrong, there have been many occasions where I wished I could be thinner or have a different nose or hairline to fit in, but I realized that fitting in is not always as important as it seems; I realized that I love standing out in positive ways!

I love sending a message of self-confidence and getting to share that with people. Self-confidence also goes along with being healthy! I work out all the time, I eat healthy & try (emphasis on TRY) to get as much sleep as I can. There are obviously times where I love to pig out and enjoy myself, but I always make sure to never lose my focus on being healthy, because no matter what, your health is the number one most important thing in life. We aren’t meant to look the same, but we are all meant to be healthy. We are all beautiful in different ways. Staying healthy adds to beauty. Even more importantly, it will increase your self-confidence. That’s been my experience at least 😉. #JaxJungle #NotLikeMost #PowerOfBeingYou

Stranger Things: The Byers and The Tramp

Jonathan Byers Imagine

Prompt: Imagine being popular and being Jonathan’s girlfriend

Warnings Adult Language Does not follow the plot of “Stranger Things”

Point of view: The Reader’s POV

I slammed my locker shut as I listened to Nancy rambled on about Steve.

“Nancy why don’t you just fuck him already” I smirked as I watched her blush madly, her tuck a piece of hair behind her before rolling her eyes.

“(Y/N) seriously” she groaned as she shoved my shoulder lightly “a relationship isn’t all about sex. It’s about the small things he does for you to tell you he loves you”

“Yeah like fucking you senselessly” I giggled as I pushed her slightly, she groaned softly before pushing me back

“So you and Jonathan must have sex a lot?” Nancy questioned as we moved down the hall, I shook my head softly

“No actually, he hasn’t laid a finger on me, a quick kiss is all I get” I commented as it was my turn to blush, of course I’ve had sex but it was quick lasted no more than 2 minutes. The douche always hypes himself up saying “he’s the biggest I’ve ever seen”, then it feels like nothing.

“Maybe he’s waiting for the perfect moment” Nancy giggled as she turned in front of me

“Maybe he’s a virgin” I stated rolling my eyes at her comment, she sighed softly before smiling brightly as her eyes were fixed behind me.

“Here comes the virgin Romeo now” Nancy giggled as I peered over shoulder noticing that Jonathan was moving down the hall. “Go Sluttie Juliet!”

“Nancy!” I gasped as I shoved her harshly, a laugh escaping her lips as she pushed me towards him.

He fiddled with his camera as he smiled at me

“Hey baby” I smiled as I tried kissing him but he moved his head down instead.

“Hey (N/N)” he shyly stated, I giggled softly before grabbing his face forcing him to look at me, I placed a soft kiss on his lips. His face redden as he watched me for a second “Um- I-I- we’ll see the thing is– my– mom wants to meet you”

“She does?” I questioned as he scratched the back of his neck, he nodded slowly

“But I understand if-”

“I’d love to meet her Johnny boy, and that adorable little brother of yours” I smiled

“Really? You wanna meet them?” He questioned as his face contorted in surprise

“Your my boyfriend, of course I wanna meet them” I smiled as I wrapped my hands around his neck, as I pressed my head against his, so he would look me in the eye.

“G-great. Um dinner is tonight at 7” he smiled, I bit my lips softly before nodding in agreement as I pulled back. He placed a quick kiss on my cheek for rushing off.

                       ***

I had to admit I was nervous, I really did like Jonathan he was different than the other boyfriends I had. He was sweet, caring, and took my feelings into consideration.

I didn’t want to screw up meeting his mom and brother.

What if she hates me?

What if she thinks in a slut?

I groaned softly as I banged my head against the steering wheel. I pushed myself out of the car as I slowly walked up the steps to the house. A loud bark pierce the air causing me to squeal lightly. I rung the door bell a couple of times as the more barks filled the air.

A group of boys answered the door, the all watched me for a moment

“She is real” a dark skinned boy stated as he touched my stomach pulling back quickly.

“She’s very pretty” the other said but this one was missing his two front teeth, but that didn’t stop him from looking adorable.

“I’ve seen pictures of her before Johnny has them in his room” another stated, they watched me slowly, I offered a small smile in which they all returned.

“Who was at the door?” I heard Jonathan scream as he appeared at the front door. “Guys let her in”

The parted slowly as I stepped in, I giggled left my lips.

“Hey baby” I smiled as I started I kiss him but was cut off by gasping.

“She called him “baby” meaning that they are dating” the toothless boy commented as he walked in between us. I glanced at Johnny as a blush fell on his face

I bent down as I watched the boy, I kissed his cheek before offering my hand.

“I’m (Y/N)” I smiled, he grabbed his cheek before looking at the other boys. He backed away slowly as he gave me a toothless smile. “I think I broke him”

“She’s pretty and funny too” the dark skinned boy commented as he examined for further

“Who was at the door?” A female calls, I stood up quickly spinning around as I saw his mother. “Oh wow!”

She smiles brightly as she looked at me

“You are absolutely beautiful” she commented as she gave me a quick hug “I see you meet the boys”

“Yes, they are very observant” I smiled, she nodded quickly as she looked back at the boys.

“Well come on boys” she clapped as she ushered them into the room. “Clean up this game you have going on”

“I’m Dustin!” The toothless boy called out as he gave me a smile, I smiled back at him.

“She is right you look beautiful” I heard Johnny say, I turned around facing him.

“Thanks, you don’t look half bad yourself” I giggle as I wrapped arms around him.

“We have an audience” he spoke as he flicked his head towards the opening, I peered over my shoulder seeing the boys watching us.

“She just can’t be real” Will commented “I mean, my brother dating her”

“Come on Johnny boy, I’m starving and I think your brother and his friends have a whole bunch of questions for me” I giggled

                        ***

“How did you meet my brother?” Will questioned

“In Photography class” I smiled as I remembered the memory so fondly. “He was nerdy boy who always had a camera”

Johnny laughed softly before pushing my shoulder lightly as he blushed softly

“Let me get this straight” Lucas stated “You’re dating Byers”

I laughed loudly as I studied his expression, As I nodded slowly to his statement.

                           •••

After endless questions about me and adorable baby pictures of Jonathan, dinner was finally over.

I peeled off my jacket as I threw on a chair in his room. I peered over my shoulder as I still heard him talking to his mom downstairs. I grabbed the photos that laid on top of his radio.

They were of me, dozens. Pictures that I didn’t know he took. Pictures of me smiling, pictures of me making faces, pictures of me sleeping in class, pictures of me in his room.

How did I not see him taking all these pictures of me.

“You weren’t suppose to see that” I heard his voice behind me, I blushed softly before placing them back down.

“But I did” I spoke softly wondering how many more he has taken “w-when did you take all those”

“I-I- whenever, moments with you were just to precious to just keep as memories, I needed prove a reminder to know that you are real. That someone like you is dating me" he spoke, I smiled softly. “Are you mad?”

I spun around quickly as I watched him for a moment.

“How can I be when you say stuff like that?” I spoke “That was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever said to me”

He blushed softly as he looked down. I walked over to him, he looked up at me for a moment, without any thought or second of regret. I crash my lips to his, my hands running through his hair.

This moment I knew that I was in love with him. He was a shy, socially awkward boy but he was perfect for me.

“I love you” I whispered against his lips, the words so foreign to me as I spoke them

“I love you too” he smiled as he picked me up, tossing me on the bed. I giggled softly as I pulled him down with me. “I’ve always loved you”

Little Prince

Originally posted by sugagifs


Member: Min Yoongi (BTS)

Genre: Fluff/smut

Warnings: Smut, mommy kink, pegging, sub Yoongi

Word count: 1.3k


Yoongi’s excitement could barely be held to himself when he realized how soon his mommy would be home. He had been a good boy all day. He was all dressed up in his navy and white striped oversized sweater, and his navy lacy panties just like his mommy liked. He had colored her a pretty picture of her favorite flowers in all of her favorite colors. He played with his stuffies, and talked about how he was going to rule the world with his music and his stuffies combined, and for the most important part, he didn’t touch himself all day, he knew that if he did his mommy would find out and he would be punished for it. He didn’t want to be punished like he was yesterday, seeing as his ass still hurt a bit from it being spanked as many times as it had.

 When Y/N arrived at home she found Yoongi lounging on the couch with his favorite paci in his mouth and his favorite mint green alpaca stuffie in his arms while he watched Sailor Moon. He hadn’t heard her come in until she sat down next to him. He quickly took his paci out of his mouth and hugged her.

 “Mommy!!” He cried out.

“How’s my little prince today, were you a good boy?” She asked.

 Yoongi nodded quickly. “I was a very good boy today, I colored a picture for you, played with my stuffies, and didn’t touch myself.”

 “You were a very good boy today then, so you know what that means?” She asked.

Yoongi shook his head. Before he knew it, he was being snuggled into and his face was getting smothered in kisses. He let out giggles and had his signature gummy smile on his face. He was very happy that he could make her happy with his actions.

 “Do I get a reward mommy?” He asked through his giggles.

 “You want a reward huh?” She replied back.

 “Yooni wants a reward for being a good boy!” He said excitedly.

 “I suppose you could have a reward. What kind of reward do you think you want?” She asked as she wrapped her arms around his narrow waist.

 It wasn’t long before Yoongi said what he wanted. “I want mommy to kiss me all over, and mark me, and make me feel good.”

 “I think I can manage that baby boy.” She said with a light smile.

 Y/N lead Yoongi down the hall and to their shared bedroom, where Yoongi quickly hopped on the bed and laid down waiting for Y/N to come take care of his needs. She started at his neck, kissing lightly before she started sucking dark red marks into the boy’s pale skin, and soothing it away with licks to his neck. She had only just started and Yoongi had started quietly whining over her actions.

 She took off the boy’s shirt to continue her trail of kisses down Yoongi’s torso. She made it down to the small divot in Yoongi’s chest before she kissed her way over to his left nipple and started sucking on it while playing with his right nipple. He had sensitive nipples, she knew what she was doing to him because of her actions. His little cock twitched to life, becoming harder as she continued to suck and play with his nipples. Y/N had decided that she had tortured the boy’s nipples long enough when he wouldn’t stay still enough for her to continue her actions, so she continued her way down his stomach peppering kisses just above his waistband of his panties, which could be classified as ruined because of the precum that had seeped through the thin material. She smiled up at him before sliding the panties down his legs. She sucked marks into the sensitive skin of his inner thighs while fondling his balls to make him squirm in his spot.

“Mommy.” Yoongi whined out.

 “What is it baby boy?” She asked, stopping all her actions.

“I need y-you.” He cried.

 “Where do you need me?” She replied.

 He rolled over onto his stomach and spread his ass cheeks apart, showing her his hole. She got the hint and went to get the bottle of Yoongi’s favorite strawberry flavored lube and the strap-on that would be used on him after he got stretched out.

 Y/N opened the bottle of the strawberry flavored lube and dispensed some onto her fingers and some on his hole. She rubbed a lubed finger over the sensitive ring of muscles before sliding her index finger in and pumping him slowly. He let out a small moan when the friction came in. Y/N slid her finger out and Yoongi whimpered at the loss of contact, only to whine out again when she slipped two fingers into his tight hole. She scissored him open a bit before fucking her fingers into his hole, making him a moaning mess.

She added one more finger to stretch him out before taking all her fingers out and stripping herself down before putting the strap-on on and lathering lube onto the silicone cock. She started by pressing the tip to his puckering hole before sliding into his hole completely and giving him a bit of time to adjust to the size. She started fucking into his hole at a good pace, he was whining and moaning at a pitch that was two octaves higher than his normal speaking voice. She knew she hit the right spot when his back arched up off the bed and his moan came out a bit higher pitched. Y/N made sure to keep hitting that spot to assure that his orgasm would be coming quickly. His pants became quicker, his moans louder, he was getting close, but he didn’t have permission to cum yet, he had to hold out until Y/N said he could cum.

 “Does baby need to cum?” She asked before grabbing onto Yoongi’s precum leaking cock.

 “B-baby needs to cum.” He hiccupped out.

 “You can cum when you need to baby boy.” She said while stroking his shaft.

She continued fucking into his hole and stroking his cock, two thrusts and his cock erupted, shooting out semen onto his stomach and chest. His breath was heavy, the rise and fall of his chest was rapid. Y/N took the strap-on off quickly and laid down next to him to run her fingers through his hair and gently stroke his cheek while the boy calmed down from his orgasm.

 “Mommy, what about you?” He asked.

 “What do you mean?” She replied.

 “Don’t you want to cum?” He answered.

 “I can take care of it myself it’s okay.” She said, patting his head lightly.

 “I want to make you cum mommy.” He said.

 “You’re going to be a big boy and make mommy cum?” She asked in surprise.

 He nodded and quickly jumped to the end of the bed where he wrapped his arms around her legs and pulled her towards the edge. He slowly started licking between her folds and dipping his tongue slightly into her slit before licking back up to her clit.

“You’re so wet mommy.” He said before going back down to start sucking on her clit.

“All for you baby boy.” She said with a slight moan.

His tongue ministrations got quicker and more precise as he went on. Y/N had a fistful of Yoongi’s black locks in her hand because of how good he was making her feel. Her orgasm was fast approaching, it wouldn’t be too long before she came on Yoongi’s tongue.

Her orgasm was powerful when it came, she gripped onto Yoongi’s hair tighter and arched her back until her high came back down. When Yoongi looked back up at her she could see her juices all over Yoongi’s chin. He laid down next to her and snuggled into her side.

“Baby, we need to get you cleaned up.” She said as she put her hand on his head.

“Clean me later, I’m too tired to get cleaned up.” He said with a small yawn.

“I suppose that’s okay.” She said with a sigh.

Yoongi smiled. “I love you mommy.”

“I love you too, little prince.”


Morning of Goodbyes

Josh Dun X Reader. Josh is leaving for tour today so you have a very bittersweet lazy morning. Word Count: 665

Please feel free to send in any Josh or Tyler requests! (Sorry if this is rubbish) 

You felt a strong arm drape across your waist and a light sigh escape Josh’s lips. Your eyes squinted at the clock on the nightstand.

10:00 AM.

Geez. You guys slept in later than normal. Last night you had stayed up until two o'clock, fearing the fact that the sooner you went to bed, the sooner tomorrow would come. You two had rolled back and forth in a restless pile of blankets, talking about how you would get through your days without each other. Josh was promising to call everyday and calculated at what time he would have to talk to you with the time zone change. You listened to his voice as if it was the last time you would ever hear it and fell asleep tracing the tattoos on his arm.  Josh was leaving for another leg of the ERS world tour this afternoon. You rolled over to face Josh and buried your face in his neck. “Jish. Have you finished packing?” Packing. Oh gosh. He really was leaving. You hated that word. Whenever Josh’s familiar suitcase was laying out on your bedroom floor, you took it as a sign of the heartbreaking goodbye that was to come. It seemed like he was always getting up and leaving. “No.” he whispered. “I haven’t figured out how to fit you in that suitcase yet.” You giggled as Josh took your hands in his and kissed your knuckles. This boy. What in the world are you going to do for the next month? 

“Please come Y/N…” Josh mumbled to himself, even though he already knew that was impossible. He already knew you would kiss his cheek and whisper “I can’t Joshua” into his ear. He knew because you did this every time. You two would see each other for a week or so and Josh would beg you to come on tour with him, even though he was sure you would deny his request. So you were once again lying in bed, trying to assure Josh that if you had it your way, you would be with him every second, but you had to stay in Los Angeles for your job.

“You could quit your job.”

“No Joshua… I have to support myself I-”

“Jenna doesn’t work Y/N. She comes on the road with Tyler.”

“They are married Josh… I can’t take your money. It’s different.”

No matter how much Josh tried to convince you that you could quit your job and he could support the both of you (because Lord knows he honestly could afford to) you hated when people said you were “with Josh Dun for the fame and money.” The gold digger rumors were something you really did care to avoid. Besides, Josh works so hard for what he earns, it’s not fair to touch his bank account any time soon.

Josh placed another soft kiss on your temple. “You could. I wouldn’t mind. One day we will be married anyway.” You could feel the heat creeping up your face and your blush becoming more noticeable by the second. “I’ve never pictured myself in a wedding dress, Josh.”

He looked into your eyes and smiled that oh-so-heart-melting smile of his. “One day you will be in one. And I’ll cry. I’ll cry because: a. You will look so fricking gorgeous, and b. Because having something you can’t bear to lose is scary, and after that moment I know we will never say goodbye again.” You didn’t even realize a tear was running down your cheek until Josh wiped it away with his thumb. “Don’t be sad, Y/N. When you cry, I cry, and that makes leaving so much harder.” You shook your head rapidly and laughed at his small mistake in judgement. “No, no Josh. Of course I’m sad about you leaving, but that’s not why I’m crying.”

“Why then?”

“Because you truly believe there is going to be a day where we will never say goodbye again… I’d love that.”

Meeting

AJ Styles/OC- Reader breaks a rule while waiting for AJ to come home from his meeting, but breaking the rules will lead to punishment.

Warnings: DADDY KINK(to the max), spanking, overstimulation, light choking i think thats it.

So quick note, this is my first time writing and I would love to hear some feedback as well if I should write something else. I don’t know if people want to be tagged in this but let me know if you want to be in the future. So yeah be nice please!

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Things I Have Been Reading... (March)

March has been absolutely EPIC for amazing fics!  I am thinking I’m gonna have to go back to posting twice a month because this list is becoming a monster BUT I still think you should go read all the stuff.  This month I have limited myself to only 10 recs for each of my fandoms but there were so many more I could have added.  So here you go, this is my much debated and agonized over list of recommendations for March 2017.

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