i took this like two days ago

anonymous asked:

okay so im pan,but I am dating a cis male currently, we met online two years ago, and took like 10 months to date. but ignoring that shit, HONESTLY STRAIGHT COUPLES ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD?????? YOU KNEW HIM FOR TWO DAYS YOU DONT LOVE HIM. Also i just know some straight girls who feel pressured by society to find boyfriends or else they aren't "complete". but also str8 ppl r everywhere, and it doesn't take ten weeks to find another str8 person, like it sometimes does for a gay person. u feel me?

i feel u i honestly just think str8 people dont understand how relationships are supposed to work like people who are not het have to actually examine their feelings to understand it but heteros are like “here is an available opposite binary gender human, guess we should date!” and also yeah considering women are valued based off their ability to attract men and straight women have no way out of that i think part of it is coercive too

Guys a few days ago i saw these two guys that were both probably in their early twenties at the store at like nine o'clock at night and one of them was wearing these fuzzy duck sandals that quacked loudly every time he took a step and his friend was pacing away from him as fast as he could going “I don’t know you. We are not friends.” While the other laughed hysterically about his duck shoes.

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I had promised a KiriBaku kid something like months ago, and tbh most of the reason why it took me this long is because I couldn’t pick between these two so?? In the end just have them both I guess - some info about them under cut, in case you wanna know more!!

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If you ever feel bad about ur life remember the time very, very long ago (today) when I was incredibly stressed out for two weeks because the cool barista told me she hoped I “had an unfortunate day” every morning, so I thought she hated me. Two weeks is how long it took me to piece together that my last name is Baudelaire. Was I clued in when she told me to watch out for men with ankle tattoos? No. No, I was not.

Straight White Boy Problem #987

last time I smoked weed (two years ago lol) I got really existential while listening to Childish Gambino when i was at Ryan’s house and i took a couple hits and was like what the hell am I going to do with my life? Am I going to find my soulmate some day? Do my friends actually value my feelings and do they value me for who I am or are friends just using me for their own gain? Is it okay to root for the New England Patriots even though I’m not from New England? All these questions were going through my mind and I was breaking down. I didn’t know what was going on I didn’t know I had all of these pent up emotions that were being brought out. I was scared. I wanted to talk about my dilemnas with Ryan but the last time i tried that, he made fun of me I need to start letting myself feel emotions rather than smoke my troubles away. So I quit weed. Granted, I still hang out with Ryan but it’s just not the same bc I dont smoke anymore :/

so im at work and bagging for this lady and her little kid and the kids askin me about what its like being a big kid and all that so he goes “do you have a girlfriend? is she pretty?” and i live in a pretty liberal area and it was pretty quiet in the store so i just calmly responded “actually i have a boyfriend, but he’s fairly pretty” and the mom just kinda pauses on her phone and looks down at her son like please dont say anything bad please dont embarrass me but he just gets so fuckin excited and is like “you can do that ???? i didnt know boys were allowed to have boyfriends!!” and hes turns to his mom and is pulling at her phone trying to get her attention and is just really excited like “mom did you know that ? can i have a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend ??” and she just started laughing and was like “if you want sure” and they took their groceries and left and im just standing there like

DID THAT JUST HAPPEN

THAT WAS SO CUTE

A War Inside My Head

ao3 | ff.net

Thanks to @tantalum-cobalt and @chimaerakitten for looking this over. I didn’t change much but the things you pointed out, so thanks for taking the time to beta! I really appreciate it!


“What if I poke him?” someone murmurs.

“If you do that, he’s going to hit you,” someone else says.

“He wouldn’t hit me. It’s Dick.” The first voice pauses. “And besides, he’d totally poke me, too.”

“No, I’d do it to you. Or Damian, or Steph. But not Dick.”

“Yes, Todd,” a new voice chimes in, though it sounds reluctant. “Grayson would most likely dote on the sight of you drooling on your pillow.”

Someone snickers. “Oh my God. Now I can’t stop picturing it.”

“Shut it if you know what’s good for you, Damian. You, too, Tim.”

The voices are invading his dreams, Dick realizes. He can’t match voices to names or faces, but they sound familiar enough that Dick figures he’s not in any danger. And honestly, Dick’s tired enough to sleep for days.

He just wishes the voices would get the memo.

Someone tuts. “Like you could take me down.”

“I will shoot you.”

“Leave him alone, Jay.”

“And what’s up with that? Since when are you on the Demon Brat’s side?”

“Since he stopped Bruce from throwing out all of my coffee.”

“What—do I even want to know?”

“I thought it might be a fruitful investment. I turned out to be correct.”

Dick forces his eyes open, and he blinks blearily up at the trio standing in the middle of the living room, just inches away from the couch Dick had collapsed on when he’d gotten back to the Manor earlier. None of them are looking at him, and while they’re all being relatively quiet, it isn’t quiet enough for Dick. He’s tired, and as much as he’d normally love for his little brothers to be in the same room and talking and not killing each other, now is kind of a bad time.

He just wants to sleep, preferably without any little brothers interrupting his first rest in over 48 hours.

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Not The Romantic Type

Prompt: After being labeled as a ‘non-romantic’ by the reader, Digger Harkness tries to prove the reader wrong by planning a cliche Valentines Day date.

Pairing: Captain Boomerang X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Some cursing, sexual suggestion, but mostly fluff galore!

Originally posted by heartofdevastation

Digger Harkness was certainly a man of many talents and you were lucky to be able to call him yours. In one afternoon he could build you a wooden table and four sturdy chairs. He could drink an entire 12 pack of beer and still speak impressively coherently. He made the best damn grilled cheese in the world and never failed to make you laugh until tears were streaming down your face.

He was everything you could ask for and more! The only quality you could say he lacked was a romantic side… Which wasn’t a bad thing? He was sweet when he wanted to be and definitely an affectionate son of a bitch. But, as Valentines day was begin to creep up on you and all the heart shaped boxes of chocolates were on sale at the store you couldn’t help but to feel, well… Like you were missing out on something?

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3

ya lit meme - 2/7 friendships
aelin galathynius, dorian havilliard and chaol westfall  throne of glass

Dorian said, “So here we are.”
“The end of the road,” Aelin said with a half smile.
“No,” Chaol said, his own smile faint, tentative. “The beginning of the next.”

Bossy (Jughead x Reader Smut)

Prompt: Shamelessly dropping this filthy smut idea for you, because I love the way you write and I just couldn’t get it to flow the way I know you can. Jughead and the reader have been together and intimate for awhile. Jughead is used to letting the reader pull things her own way. Jughead gets things going and essentially bosses the reader around. Ex. “Down on your knees.” I also feel like he could secretly get into saying things like: “such a good girl.” Seeing bad boy jughead sparked it up

Hello 💕 so i have a fic idea but it’s a little weird so it’s completely fine if you don’t want to do it. Could you write something where the reader and jughead get into a fight because the reader is jealous (you decide the reason) and because of the argument they end up having angry sex? + slightly dom jug? Like i said, totally fine if you don’t want to. I love your writing ❤

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I changed it a little bit. Hopefully you like it xxx

Warnings: Light Smut

Masterlist

Bossy (Jughead x Reader Smut)

Ginger and Tina were flirting with him again. He never flirted back but it didn’t stop you from getting jealous.

Hell half the damn school seem to flirt with him after Betty and Him figured out who killed Jason over a year ago.

You roll your eyes at the two cheerleaders trying to get your boyfriend to do their work. Idiots.

He turns and gives you the smile reserved just for you, making your heart flutter.

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My Fake boyfriend Part 9

Summary: After receiving a very rude letter of your ex on the mail saying that he is going to get married. You see yourself not knowing what to do, you can just let it go or accept the help of your hot neighbor and pretend he is your boyfriend.

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 2146

Warnings: Just fuffly and maybe some aganst

Thank you @drinkfantasy you are the best

Originally posted by whohehellisbucky

You are in shock…

All happened in slow motion, one moment you are pushing Lucas away from you and the other Bucky is holding Lucas by his shirt lifting him in the air. Bucky punches him in the face, you can feel that Bucky didn’t use half of his strength and that he even pulled his punch back a little.

Sure Lucas would wake up in pain and with a black eye tomorrow, but Bucky could have killed Lucas with just a punch, after all he is a super soldier. Bucky drops Lucas on the floor and his expression soften when he looks at you “Are you okay?” He asks gently.

You nod and he takes your hand. You watch as Lucas gets up from the floor and all you can feel is rage because Lucas has a smirk on his fucking face. How dare him kiss you? Why did he think that he had the right to kiss you? For that moment you let the rage take over you.

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so like two months ago for my Hellish Day of Travelling an anon requested “some post-ending shakarian fluff” and because I am mORTIFYINGLY SLOW the sketch I started on that day in response…is now finally finished!! I got carried away and kept making it more complicated and it just took longer and longer… but yeah! finally done! here are the shepard-vakarians and their post-destroy adopted family. as usual, BIG BIG thanks to @masseffectgayliens for being a total babe and letting me blather at them to figure out headcanons :)

DEETS BELOW THE CUT - 

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Meet the family

Inspired by this post by @pottercrew (hope you don’t mind)


“You know it’s going to be a bit more crowded then when I met your friends right?” Draco nervously pulled on the sleeves of his cardigan. He doubted Harry had believed him when he said he lived together with all of his friends and he wouldn’t want him turning tails at the sight of so many snakes. Merlin knew how terrifying they could be.

“More crowded than at the Burrow? Did you invite half your house over for dinner or something?” Harry turned around and Draco quickly stopped fiddling, putting on the mask of calmth that his pureblood upbringing had left him.

“No. Like I said I live with them. We have dinner together every day if we want to.” Harry snickered and mumbled something that sounded like yeah sure you do. Draco’s stomach did a backflip and he almost didn’t kiss Harry back when the man stepped in closer and captured his lips.

“I’ll be fine darling don’t worry. Only two days ago I gave a speech in front of thousands of people, I’m sure I can handle a bunch of adolescents.” Draco was too stressed out to reply, though not stressed out enough not to think adolescents yeah. You keep telling yourself that.

“Are we flooing together?” Harry turned around once more to offer his hand. Draco swallowed and took it, still not making any noise except for a tiny squeak in the back of his throat. He should have been more clear about it, should have refused to take Harry with him, should have moved to China, should have…

Green flames engulfed their bodies, and soon enough all thoughts of should haves ceased to exist.


“Uhm… Hi.” Harry’s sweaty left hand stayed captured in Draco’s iron grip but his right hand was free to go up to his head and mess up his hair even more. For once Draco didn’t blame him. Had he been in Harry’s position he would have fainted.

“Potter, is it? Wonderful to finally meet you.” Mrs. Zabini walked towards them in a flowing deep blue evening robe and offered him her hand. The gesture made the newly arrived couple realise they had yet to step out of the heart. Draco had been too busy not looking at anyone, while Harry had been to busy looking at everyone.

Pansy, Blaise, Theo, Gregory, Millicent and Daphne had arranged themselves not in the most comfortable chairs of the gigantic living room but in the ones that made them look the most frightening. Draco would have laughed at how closely they resembled the front of a muggle vampire novel had he not been fully aware that any vampire with a half decent set of grey cells would run for their lives at their sight.

At that moment he thought he rather shared their sentiment, and even more so when his eyes fell on the other people in the room, who all appeared to be dressed to kill. Only when Draco realised that the person they were planning to kill was his boyfriend Harry Potter did he unfreeze and square his shoulders.

“Miss Zabini, mother, Miss Goyle, Mrs Greengrass, Mr Greengrass, Miss Parkinson, Mrs Flint, Mr Flint, I see that all of you have been able to make it to the family dinner after all.” And he nodded to each person when he named them as his eyes spoke make one wrong move that chases Harry away and there will be trouble.

Miss Zabini finally got her hand shaken as Harry came back to life again next to Draco. One glance sideways told Draco that Harry’s eyes were not the only green thing about his face anymore.

“For you my love? Anything.” Miss Zabini smiled with her eyes still fixed on Harry telling him that hurting Draco would mean a very slow and painful death where no corpse would ever be found. “And you will find Astoria, Marcus, Mr Wood and Andromeda in the kitchen. It’s been a struggle to maintain the quality of our meals since the ban on house elves brought upon us by your lovely friend Miss Granger, but we manage.”

If Harry had not yet been chilled to the bone by the eyes of Miss Zabini then her tone of voice would have done the trick. Even Draco had goosebumps now.

“Well they were being treated horribly so Hermione had every reason to install that ban.” Draco nearly broke Harry’s hand as he thought Merlin’s balls Harry what part of “no politics talk” did you not understand? But he managed to defuse the situation as he glared at Miss Zabini and told her that they would have a peek in the kitchen then, if she wouldn’t mind.

Draco would never find out if she did as he had already dragged Harry off into the general direction of the kitchen before Miss Zabini could open her mouth. He pushed one of the many doors coming out onto the hallway open and pulled Harry into a bathroom, where the man spontaneously collapsed on the floor.

He refused to move until Draco had supplied him with a gallon of water and a tight hug.

“That was positively terrifying.” Harry muttered into Draco’s now ruined hair.

“I did warn you.” Draco replied, torn between being touched by how protective his housemates were and tearing all of them to shreds because Harry was actually shaking from the released tension. He decided to make up his mind later and hug Harry a bit more first.

“Not enough.” Harry shot back, but he did put his arms around Draco and buried his face further into his pale hair. Draco didn’t really know how to respond to that. It might be odd for a man who had spent the last couple years of his life being sorry to still be shit at apologising, but he was. Harry usually accepted a kiss too though, so eventually he tried that.

Only to find out Harry was silently crying on his shoulder.

“Harry, Harry what’s wrong?” Draco tried to lift his boyfriends head and read his face but the man refused to look up, burying his face even further. He now pressed so hard into Draco’s shoulder he was sure it would bruise.

“Harry it’s okay, we can go home. Your home I mean, or I can stay and you can go. I can even call the Weasel if you want me to.” Draco knew he was babbling in a panic but he didn’t care, he just wanted Harry to stop crying. He really should have moved to China or become a hermit in Nepal or anything that wasn’t bringing Harry Potter home to face his overprotective family without enough warning.

“Please stop crying.” Draco begged.

He got a badly aimed finger nearly in his eye before it landed on his mouth and shut him up. If that hadn’t puzzled him enough then the trail of kisses Harry started making down his neck would have.

“What are..?” He asked muffled before getting Harry’s entire hand over his face.

“I’m happy.” Harry’s eyes were bloodshot when he faced his boyfriend but his dazzling smile got all of Draco’s utterly confused attention. “I never thought I would have a family to introduce anyone to, and I never thought I’d be introduced to a family myself either.”

Draco didn’t think he had ever teared up so fast, or shared such a wet kiss with anyone. Cho Chang would be proud.

“Fuck you Harry.” He sniffed as they broke apart, wiping his eyes. “Crying ruins my aesthetic.”

Harry just grinned and kissed him again, this time trailing down his path on the other side of his face until he’d reached the left shoulder. Then he muttered “Sorry not sorry,” and playfully bit Draco’s collarbone that vibrated from a deep rumbling laugh.

“Do you really live with all of them?” Harry asked after Draco fell silent.

“I do. Most of us lost pretty much everything to war repayments, as we should have, we were in no way deserving of that money, and one by one that meant giving up on our mansions and villas. Eventually we all ended up here.” He patted the bathroom floor, grateful for that and the mansion it was in.

“Miss Zabini is a wonderful woman once you get to know her. She created a place where all of us could catch our breath and relax, where processing the war was the only thing we had to do. No stares to be ignored, no vengeful curses to dive away from, no landlords who refuse to rent to slytherins.” Draco nearly started crying again as he felt Harry’s arms tighten around him. They stayed silent for a while then, both lost in thought.

“How big is this place?” Harry broke away from their tight embrace a little to take in the diameters of the bathroom. It wasn’t really big, though the white tiles made it look like it was.

“Not big enough for this many people. It’s crowded and we need to share our bathrooms which is hell when you live together with Pansy.” Draco sighed and pressed his back against the cold wall, a tired smile on his face. “It’s better than the manor or Hogwarts has ever been though. No bad memories except for the one time Daphne tried to make a stove. Ulgh.”

He shivered and pulled a disgusted face that was meant to make Harry laugh. His heart swelled up when it did. Soon after his suspicion towards his often misbehaving boyfriend swelled too as his smile turned into a mischievous grin.

“Now I do have one other question.” Draco raised one perfectly trimmed eyebrow and backed away just a little, not looking forward to spending the upcoming dinner with pink hair. “Do I need to ask for permission from all of them when I want to marry you, or just your mother?”


Lol sorry for this I had time to  kill

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so it’s been an hour and all the post offices are still closed so i still cannot return this.

i ordered a macbook two days ago, and what i got instead was

a large block of clay, rammed inside the laptop box like it was a coconut

this is my first time buying clay. please don’t judge because i do not really know what to expect with clay other than the fact that it should not be coming inside a laptop box

to be continued tomorrow

the theory of three ❖ kyungsoo

@akutagawahakuryuunosuke requested: Yay the request is open can i request a scenario for Kyungsoo? what if they were a couple who having a fight after she cant handle the silent treatment, shes walk away from their place while shes on the elevator, Kyungsoo is just came inside trying to catching her up now both of them must sharing the elevator with awkward tension between them till the elevator is suddenly stuck… after that is up to you, thank you^^ hehehe you guys can add some smut lolol, hope my plot doesnt confuse you^^ thx


(gif not mine, cr to the owner)

3307 words | smut, semi-public smut, angst (っ*´∀`*)っ, fluff at the end | velvet

✎ Everything is going bad in your relationship with Kyungsoo, even things as stupid as a dinner can make you argue, so you have to understand what’s better for not only you, but him too.


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KIND OF AN EMERGENCY - PLEASE HELP!

Hi. Look, I don’t really like to share bits about my personal life and I especially don’t like asking for help - I usually do emergency commissions to take myself out of a rough spot, but… I really need the help this time.

I’m black, LGBT, and an animation student, and this summer my mental health really took a negative turn messed me up. My only means of earning rent is doing commissions, but I’m having trouble doing those quickly enough. There’s only two weeks until rent is due.

I’m sick. I’m having both issues with my reproductive tract (requiring lots of visits to the doctor - it costs $7 a trip in bus fare.) and a couple days ago acquired a case of strep that hurts so bad that I shake and sweat even from trying to drink water. I need meds for this, and it’s going to cost me money upfront before I can get part of the fee waived via my insurance.

Here’s my bank statement. My chequing account is overdrafted $124.50. I’m reaching my overdraft limit. My credit card is maxed out at $1000. And in total, the amount of short-term debt I’m in is $1600. I’m almost out of funds to get to the doctor’s, and I’m staying with my abusive mother and constantly have to lend her small bits of cash for bus tickets and the like too.

I do have $290 CAD in my paypal, but spending that on getting myself out of overdraft and paying for my meds would essentially negate all the progress I’ve made on making my rent. ($465) - And it’s due in 2 weeks.

I can take care of rent alright, I think. I can do the commissions. But I really need to have funds available in the meantime to get the healthcare I need.

If I could just get like $200 CAD, I think I’d be good for now. I could make the minimum payment for my credit card so I don’t incur more debt, un-overdraft myself and have money left over for bus tickets/soft foods i can eat/money in case of emergency while I finish up earning my rent money.

If you can donate… my paypal is steamycafe.art@gmail.com. If not, signal boosting always helps.

Thank you very much, and I’m sorry to clog up people’s dashes like this.


I’VE REACHED MY $200 CAD GOAL, AND THEN SOME. Any additional money will just go to paying rent/paying down my debt… BUT I’M VERY FIRMLY OUT OF HOT WATER - so thank you!

Overwatch fic: The catdads and that time they met up with McCree after the Fall.

Remember when I said I was writing this, a year and a day ago?  No warnings.  The cut is just for length.
***
Jesse’s clients showed him the documentation on his targets before he took the job, and it’s pretty clear he’s after a real pair of desperadoes.  These two have left a trail of bodies, theft, and occasional devastation in their wake from one hemisphere to the other, and he reckons it’s about time someone put a stop to it.

When they nail him in an ambush, he realizes that someone’ll have to be someone else.

His arms get pinned from behind by a grip that feels like a bear’s, claws and all.  The other one drops down in front of him from an awning three stories up and then uncoils from his crouch like he’s made of shock absorbers.  “Jesse McCree,” that one says in a low growl of a voice.  Grand, being recognized always goes so well for him. “You look like a werewolf, kid.”

The man holding him laughs.  It sounds beyond rough, almost inhuman, and kinda smug.  Jesse knows it well.  He’s heard that insult more than a few times, too.

“Well, damn,” he says faintly as the shock sets in.  

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