lance crying: “i was up until 4am playing mario kart” shiro: “yes i can tell :)”
lance on his first week: “hey keith!” keith: “eat dirt and perish”
lance on his eleventh week: “hey keith!” keith: “heyyy is that a new shirt? wow you look good in it. can i get you anything?”
shiro: “keith get me my coffee” keith: “get it yourself”
allura: “hunk, you seem very reliable. can you tell me a little bit about everyone in the office?” hunk: “considering i’ve been through everyone’s phones i can tell you more than a little bit. did you know shiro has been on the run from the government for 6 years?”
pidge: “shiro, you know i love you like the brother i never had” shiro: “awww- wait a minute, you have a brother”
pidge: “ok feelings over now shut up and lift me into the vent”
lance: “hunk look at my new crocs! do you like them?” hunk: “wow is that vintage? so cute!”
hunk to shiro 12.5 seconds later: “we need to have an intervention for lance”
allura: “how old are you?” pidge: “7″
allura: “7 what? 17? 27? 7 small horses?” pidge: “yes”
keith watching lance photocopy papers: “god he’s so cute” hunk scribbling something in a notebook labelled ‘blackmail’: “huh. interesting”
coran: “hello everyone! i’m allura’s assistant and business partner!” lance: “that’s a funny accent. are you from france?”
coran: “no i’m from new zealand!!” lance: “oh ok. south france”
coran: “no-” lance: “sheep france”
hunk: “i bought 12 donuts for the office kitchen this morning and by lunchtime they were all gone. do you know anything about that?”
keith with crumbs on his shirt and cinnamon stains on his mouth: “…no”
allura: “coran i really don’t trust any of these idiots. for example, look at that” -pidge fingerpainting by smearing mayonnaise onto a glass window-
allura: “i mean- who even is that” coran: “that’s their IT manager she’s brilliant”
allura: “for god’s sake”
allura takes two steps into the office and keith’s desk collapses on top of him
shiro: “why” pidge: “ok so maybe i took out all the screws earlier-”
What do you think of JARVIS? Can he get inside your arm? Has he ever done so? Are you ever concerned about him taking over the world?
i like jarvis. hes everything nickel science fiction novels promised back when i was a kid.
jarvis–and anyone else for that matter–cant get inside my arm because my arm has no ability to transmit or receive data, except for an internal data port under the armor plates which has to be accessed with a unique cable. so if you can get at it and you have the necessary equipment you can mess with my arm, but it’s impossible to hack while im out doing stuff.
not that tony or i told anyone that for the first few months. i managed to knock steves glass out of his hands four times, throw things at clint six times, and smack sam upside the head twice before they realized that my arm was not being remotely controlled by ‘the evil Dr Dextrous.’
im not concerned about jarvis taking over the world because probably hed be a lot better at keeping things running smoothly that current management. jarvis has managed to keep tony stark mostly alive without actually having hands for like. several decades now. which probably qualifies him for sainthood, or at least a really nice retirement package. i figure after all that chaos managing a few billion non-geniuses without access to flying tanks is basically a cakewalk.
but since jarvis has more sense than–well. basically any avenger–he knows that taking over the world would be way more stress than its worth.
jarvis is smart like that.
After the conversation we shared I muted the conversation, there was nothing I wanted to hear anymore and nothing I wanted to do but sleep. I was curious of what they had to say, if anything at all but at the same time I didn’t want to know because they probably don’t think it’s a big deal they’ve missed my birthday three years in a row. I sat at my dining room table, staring at the candlelit cake in front of me. It was their favourite, strawberry flavour and just looking at it reminded me of them and how they won’t be here again to share this too large cake for one with me.
For so long I believed that we were best friends, that we were inseparable and nothing or no one could come between the friendship we shared because we had been through so much with one another. But I was wrong. They let her get between us. I don’t want to be a selfish brat that I’m seeming to be, but they just forgot me so easily after spending a week with her, wouldn’t that hurt you? They used to be the first people to say happy birthday to me, even if they were away they’d never forget to FaceTime me at 12am - but this year, even though we were supposed to celebrate, they didn’t call at 12, they didn’t send me a text. Because they forgot, and they left me waiting for them like a fool standing outside the restaurant in the winter cold holding my own birthday cake. They promised. They promised that they were going to celebrate with me this year for sure, they even made sure they had no schedule clashes today so that we could celebrate, but just like that they forgot and I was replaced with someone new, someone better.
People looked at me funny, people who walked into the restaurant, had their meal and came back out to see me still standing there alone - they all looked at me with pity in their eyes. ‘That girl must’ve got stood up’ must be what they were all thinking. Yeah I was stood up by my seven best friends. The entire week they’ve been hanging out, the entire week they’ve dismissed me. ‘If it was important we would have remembered’ ‘Clearly wasn’t all that important’, that hurt to say the least, it only told me how much I didn’t mean to them, making it clear to me that they don’t need me in their lives anymore because they have someone new, someone that let’s them have the personal space that they needed and I understood now. I was only ever thinking of myself and what I wanted. Maybe they didn’t forget, maybe this was their way to tell me that our friendship is over.
I blew out the candle without making a wish, wishes don’t come true. I’ve wished for the same thing the last two years and each following year I end up getting disappointed. I crawled into bed and went to sleep, eyes slightly wet from crying. But a few hours later, I heard my phone ring; I picked up without even checking the caller ID.