For anyone “annoyed” by my critical posts of psychiatry- I was more than annoyed when I was commited 7 times against my will. I was more than annoyed when I was forced to take drugs that I did not want, that made my symptoms worse, and which everyone told me I needed to take or I would be court ordered to do so “for my own safety”.
I am trying to raise awareness about a violation of human rights. You all jump to share and pay attention to issues like racism, trans and homophobia, sexism and bigotry, and rightly so, as those issues are important as well and deserve all the attention they get (and more), and yet you remain silent as thousands of people get forcibly detained and drugged with NO DUE PROCESS OF LAW every. single. day. Even to children, as I was a child during all my admissions.
You cry about the injustices of tainted water in Flint, the golfing of the President, and just about everything under the sun EXCEPT for this! How frustrated and annoyed do you think I AM that no one seems to give a damn about the abuse I suffered, and the abuse millions of innocent people routinely suffer? Fuck you and your blissful ignorance. There is no greater power than the words of activism, especially on social media, yet no one uses the power for this issue, an issue which KILLS people.
People kill themselves from the trauma of forcible seclusion and restraint.
People die early because no one studies the long term effects of neuroleptic drugs on the brain.
People die while IN restraints in institutions, and it gets swept under the rug, unless it happens to a black person by police while in custody.
People lose decades of memories when they are subjected to electroshock therapy (yes, this still exists.)
Where are our marches for freedom? Where are our 10 page Tumblr posts, our articles shared by Facebook celebrities, our awareness? Why does no one care that this is happening, why is no one DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
Nekophy can I plz just say Thank you for writing such sweet comments and responses to fanart others make for you, it really means more than you would think to us. Just thank you for taking time to do that and stay awesome ❤️
god grob thank YOU for appreciating themmm ;;;;;;;w;;;;;;;;;; it rly made my day everytime people told me how greateful they are over my simple gesture.. so srsly- THANK YOUU
Do you think that people who are insecure will naturally become monogamous and people who aren't will become polyamorous?
I’m not sure how to interpret this, tbh. I think “insecurity” is a vague enough concept that I don’t know what would count as a person who lacks insecurity.
Is it insecure to be worried about your partner leaving you if they literally just told you they would? Or is this just “having preferences over whether your partner dates you”? Do they need to be irrational (and how is “irrational” to be defined)? And are we only counting people with irrational fears about relationships or about anything? Is a person who feels scared when they stand on a glass roof insecure?
So I’ll instead try to define a specific value - how regularly and intensely one experiences fears about one’s relationship(s) - and call people who have more of this (holding the behaviour of their partner(s) constant) “more insecure”. This gives us “insecurity” as a personality trait. How much fear one feels can obviously go up and down depending on what one’s partner does, but people who will respond with more fear than others in identical situations can be thought of as more insecure for this purpose.
So, does being more insecure cause you to be more monogamous. It probably does for a lot of people! And, for others, the reverse might be true!
“Wait, what?” you may ask. “How can that be?” Well, I’ll give the example of my own case:
I have been a pretty insecure person (in the general, not relationship-specific sense) for a very long time, which is not too surprising given my backstory. However, until I first started dating (two years ago), I didn’t know what it would be like to be in a relationship.
I had a major advantage out the gate in understanding how to build good relationships, due to reading a lot and knowing people with good relationships that I could model. Nonetheless, I had no idea what being in a relationship felt like. Turns out it felt extremely tenuous.
I had a whole suite of insecurities; most of which were related to the newness of relationships. I felt as unlovable as back when no one would date me and was terrified that, if I let any opportunity pass me by, I’d never find a girlfriend again. I continued to have the suspicion that everyone secretly hated me that I’d held since primary school, which made it hard to trust that any given person would stick around, and made me want to distribute my risk. I was afraid that the rules around what others considered “cheating” were obscure and unknowable. And also, like, my own jealousy was a thing.
Given the particular cluster of insecurities, polyamory was the obvious choice. Three soul-crushing anxieties pushing me one way beat the one pushing me the other. For over a year, being polyamorous was clearly the best way I could satisfice my preferences. But, over time, most of my insecurities faded, leaving behind almost nothing besides the jealousy. So now I’m way less insecure and have a way stronger natural leaning toward monogamy. Funny how that works.
(Note that I continue to date polyamorously, because the switching costs to becoming monogamous would not be worth it. This is just to say that the type of person I am is better suited to monogamy than polyamory now. My actually love life is poly.)
Why did my anti-mono insecurities go away while my anti-poly insecurity didn’t? Honestly, I really don’t know. To some extent, the jealousy did go away, as it’s now something like 30%-50% as bad as it used to be. On the other hand, everything else is less than 5% as bad as it originally was, so that’s a pretty big gap. It’s also a pretty annoying order in which to self-improve, given that my life continues to be poly. But I do have some guesses about why it happened in that particular order:
Experience: Most of my insecurities were about things that were gradually proven by my own experiences to not be that important. After a year of it happening very consistently, I stopped being completely shocked that I attracted romantic interest from other girls. I found that the people around me probably didn’t hate me, because they had too much ADHD to play a con this long. (It didn’t hurt that I could see other people having fears of being hated and notice that theirs were irrational.)
Somewhat more surprising to me was that I picked up a model of cheating. Or, more accurately, several models, such that I could predict how several different types of jealous people might feel about things. It was actually somewhat like learning to read faces, which I originally thought would be impossible. Then I started picking up the cues of a raised eyebrow here and an upraised mouth-corner there, until eventually I could do it. Similarly, navigating relationships with different types of people, and listening to the thoughts of people I wasn’t dating, helped me get a new sense, so the problem no longer seemed scary.
Meanwhile, this didn’t really happen with jealousy. The lessons experience taught were that yes, my partner sometimes starts dating someone cooler than me and then dumps me; and yes, my metamours sometimes interfere in my relationships in ways that sabotage them; and yes, my poly friends tend to (on average) have less secure primary relationships than my mono friends. None of these were universal, obviously, but common enough to sting.
I’d certainly rather I was weighing risks like these with system 2 than with system 1, but if my system 1 was exposure therapied out of most of its problems, that isn’t going to work for a problem where system 1 is sometimes correct.
Environment: A while back, a Tumblr post went around where someone talked about why the casual suicidality of Tumblr culture was unhealthy. That suicidality must always be taken Extremely Seriously because it is a Real Adult Problem that you need to Seek Help for. Almost everyone who responded said that this was actually very valuable to their mental health and that they wouldn’t be able to express their feelings in a different environment.
This is basically what I’m like with my insecurities. Being in a social environment where people were like “lol, of course we’re all afraid that everyone in the world hates us” helped me work through that.
Meanwhile, I’ve mostly been surrounded by people who think jealousy must always be taken Extremely Seriously because it is a Real Adult Problem that you need to Seek Help for, who of course make me not want to admit to such Serious Defects. Plus, of course, the people who think monogamy is evil and that violating monogamous people’s boundaries is always justified, who doubly make me never want to talk about jealousy in public.
The combined chilling effect probably leads to me working through my problems less well than if I could talk about them, which may contribute to why my fear that everyone hates me faded at a much faster rate than my jealousy has.
Self-Deception: Probably related to environment is the fact that, while I could admit most of my problems to myself, I was convinced I didn’t experience jealousy. After all: jealous people are Bad; I am not Bad; therefore, I am not jealous. This lasted me through quite intense levels of doublethink and reams of excuses that are embarrassingly invented in retrospect.
This, of course, also meant I wasn’t working on the problem directly, because I couldn’t admit to myself that I had it. Thus, I may also be behind on subduing jealousy just because I’ve been consciously working on it for a much shorter period of time.
Regression To The Mean: As far as I’m aware, most people tend not to be incredibly scrupulous and convinced that they’re inherently unlovable and universally hated. However, they do tend to experience jealousy. They do at high enough rates that the default dating system is built around an assumption of jealousy.
This means that, of my listed insecurities, the ones that were obstructions to monogamy were uncommon. Thus, just due to the random ways people change, there’d probably be a higher chance of them going away than of jealousy going away. One might expect jealousy to be more firmly fixed in place just because it’s very common. (This is also my handwaviest and least endorsed guess.)
In the end, it was probably several of these, plus maybe other things I haven’t yet thought of. Whatever the case, I can at least say that I’m better off now than where I started. On basically every metric, I’m a more self-assured and less insecure person.
While I’d rather have vanquished my insecurities in a different order, I am still immensely grateful that they’re going away at all. If I had but gained some more trust, but had still been just as jealous, Dayenu.
Honestly, I’m just shocked anyone put up with my insanely insecure ass long enough for this much improvement to take place. The fact that anyone could stand me this long, when I can’t stand myself, is the best evidence I have that I might actually be pretty or something.
(Though I still have the insecurity that I’m bad for the people around me, even if not the one that everyone else realises this and hates me. This is part of why I’m way more reluctant to date new people, now that I no longer have the automatic urge to accept every opportunity I get. However, if you want to try anyway, I’d be immensely flattered.)
Anyway, sorry to give you a long story about my personal life. The point was that insecurities can pull you in any of several directions, so you can’t be sure that one set of people is more or less insecure than another without finding out why they’re doing what they’re doing.
I like how, after meeting Mika, Shinoa really took in consideration/believed in his words of “humans experimenting on Yuu”, of course, after seeing what Yuu transform into, there couldn’t be any doubts, but it could’ve been like “Well, he’s with the vampires, maybe he have other version of the story” but no, Mika’s words encourages her to dig further and keep investigating (more like those words haunted her, lmao).
The sad part is that it still makes her feel guilty, even if she was deceived and didn’t know what would happen to Yuu, I’m sure she feels guilty about being “part of the plan”. You just have to see her expressions to know…
(BTW I’m still salty because Shinoa trusts Guren, like why? … Why my girl? Why you trust the man that deceived you…? The man that never told you about demon-mahiru…)
are herizen and her people just going to let this thing die down and then move on as if it never happened?
i understand that she’s more than likely being told what to do by her management/PR team/whatever, but with such a severe accusation under her belt, you’d think they would do damage control immediately.
i’m fairly certain that the entire thing is true, and i wish someone would say something about it. literally, anyone.
and, honestly, i’m going to be so fucking angry if her irresponsible ass is the reason that this show isn’t renewed. it sucks that the fuck ups of one person can literally jeopardize a bunch of other young actors of color who have worked their asses off to get to where they are. the get down was already semi struggling for a bigger audience, and this has just made it worse.
it's none of my onion because i don't date guys but the aphrodite myth revision is pretty boring to me because it's yet again a gorgeous woman and an ugly dude. Kind of completely tired of women being judged on their looks nonstop but also being told not to be the shallow ones and accept ugly dudes. Ask yourself if you'd support the myth where the goddess of love was unattractive, that's more interesting to me.
Heck yeah I’d support that myth! That would be gorgeous. There are so many ways to slice this kind of a story, because the specifics matter far less than what you get out of it.
To me—and you might consider this splitting hairs, but it’s what comes to mind—the story isn’t about having to “accept ugly dudes,” because Hephaestus isn’t ugly at all. He’s a creative person, he’s someone with a unique mind, he’s someone with a history. He’s Hellenistic where a god like Apollo might be considered classical; he’s bent where others are attractively curved, but maybe that makes him more interesting. I’m not being abstract, I’m being very literal, when I say that the realest kind of beauty is just an expression of the soul in the features of the face. We admire catalogue models, well-made bodies, but we fall in love with human beings. Because even if we happen to fall in love with a model it’s the whole person that we fall in love with, not just a high-end set of limbs but the soul that strings them together.
I work at a retail store and a guy came in with his son looking to buy a product that we were out of. I checked our stock, told him we were out of it and offered to order it for him.
customer: no, that won’t work, I need it today. He said this very aggressively and his son was visually uncomfortable. me: I completely understand, would you like me to check another store for you? Two of our other locations are within 20 minutes of us, so this shouldn’t be a big deal. He says yes and I told him that both nearby locations have the product in stock and I offer to call over and have them hold it for him.
He was looking at his phone, so I assume he’s checking maps to see which location is closer/more convenient for him.
Again I offer to call another location and ask which he would prefer.
uh hello? His son and I make eye contact, both growing more uncomfortable by his silence. After about 3 or 4 minutes, the guy looks at the sign hanging over our information desk that says customer service.
He then begins to scream at me. Literally screaming.
you call this customer service?! I’ve been standing here waiting for you to call and you haven’t done anything! His son and I both are dumbfounded. He storms off and slams the door. His son muttered an apology and followed him out the door.
How do you think mccoy would react when you prank him like telling him and acting like youre gonna faint
Honestly nonie, I think he would not be happy.
Short story time. I had to take a friend to the ER back when we were young, many moons ago, and she was answering some questions from the nurses and she made a joke about something they asked (I think about being allergic to shellfish?) and she immediately got shut down and was told that the ER is no place to joke around. Those nurses did not approve in the slightest and were nothaving it, not one bit.
Sure Leonard can take a joke and can appreciate a good prank like anyone else, but not when it comes to your health.
Leonard cares deeply for you and everyone else on the ship. I think it would honestly upset him that you would do something like that more than anything, not so much angry, just very disappointed(which is so much worse). When it comes to you or anyone else, pranking Leonard with what could be a serious medical condition or emergency, is only going to end badly for you.
Things to look forward to are extra vaccinations(not in the neck or arm) or more thorough physicals(not performed by Leonard), having everything you love to eat taken away and replaced by what you hate in your replicator, and just pray that you aren’t in medical, he’d have you eyeballs deep in menial tasks all day long, or give you crappy shifts for a few days till the message sank in.
Honestly nonie, it wouldn’t even be worth it. Better stick with replacing his bourbon with iced tea, or hiding all of his underwear. More innocent and less likely to incur his full wrath, because you can more easily blame these pranks on Jim.
but the fact that he is using all these humans as tools to protect only the Chiss makes him a xenophobic bastard who only cares about his own race and ready to sacrifices all the tohers to do that. He sounds more evil now than before, where he wanted to protect all the people of the Empire.
My apologies for not seeing this sooner. I had to sleep.
I do believe your language is rather extreme, especially if you haven’t read the Thrawn novel and are only taking my rather humble word for it. Calling him a “xenophobic bastard” when he’s dealing with the Emperor, who would roast his people on a spit if he told him too much about them, who he is aware is using him, who he does not fully trust, is a bit far. And even so, if you haven’t read the Thrawn novel yourself, you’re only basing that opinion off of the words of one person on the internet.
Allow me to respond, in that case, with a more nuanced depiction of the man himself. I would hate to be responsible for giving you a disparaging view of him.
The truth is, I have not given a full image of Thrawn in canon just from this snippet. It is true the Chiss are his priority, but while in the Empire, he puts the lives of the Imperial people above his own. Several times, he tries to share the glory of his victories with his crew, specifically Eli Vanto. He is loyal to the Empire while he is there, and his view is currently that of a man who believes the Empire is strong enough to protect the entire Galaxy, and currently wishes to work together rather than abandon the people here.
Even moreso to that end, Thrawn is aware of the oppression the people of the Empire suffer, he is aware of Palpatine’s evil, and he seeks to gain a high enough rank in the Empire that he can one day help select Palaptine’s replacement. He clearly cares for the suffering of those he sees, even if he does not express it in a normal fashion.
I’m sorry if I myself caused you to have such a strong response by seeming to disparage TTT Thrawn in turn. I wasn’t, and he still has many wonderful, noble qualities, I just can’t help but notice patterns in the writing that completely change the way the original books are read.
It’s much like the KOTOR game, where Revan had clearly NOT gone off to the Unknown Regions to find the Sith, but had explored the depths of space for pieces of the Star Map with the full intention of conquering the Galaxy on his own without any suggestion from any Sith Lords. And yet, with the addition of Legends material like SWTOR, we have to change our understanding of the situation because the continuity has been changed retroactively.
The post I made was more about how Zahn’s evolution of his depiction of Thrawn necessarily changes the way we have to read him in TTT and how retroactive continuity changes that, vs Canon, where this is likely never going to be necessary. I’m not trying to say which Thrawn is “worse” and which is “better”, they’re both Thrawn, and I’m very sorry if I gave you that impression.
What do you think would happen if, hypothetically, Roman and Anxiety started dating? Do you think they'd stop fighting, or just get worse? Would it have any effect on Thomas? -anongram (who is total prinxiety trash and not really sorry about it)
“Considering what Anxiety recently told me, I suppose I should be thinking about this…
I believe that they are different, and yet similar enough that they would be able to have a fairly balanced relationship. They would absolutely not stop fighting, after all, even in healthy relationships there are disagreements.
As for the effect on Thomas? Anxiety and Roman already work together more than they realise. I don’t believe that there will be a profound impact on Thomas.”
“Josephine: this man is simply magic. the amount of joy and laughter he gives to everyone around him cannot be told or described in a social media post. no one encourages women to be strong, powerful, and independent more than him! he has become one of my favorite people and one of the most important people in my life and I think the world would be a better place if everyone was just a little bit more like him. happy birthday @edrazek. thank you for being you and thank you for changing my life. ❤️❤️❤️”
Blackpink Reaction: their s/o is sick and they take care of them
Jennie Jennie would be really worried about you. She probably knew you were
sick before you wanted to admit it, which made her worry even more. Once you
told her, she took that as a sign to go all out and have you in bed all day,
letting her cook for you and bring you everything you need. If you told her how
much you appreciated it, she’d just do a cute pose and brush it off as ‘I know,
I know’, but she’d be really happy you let her take care of you.
Lisa Unless you were feeling really bad, Lisa would probably tease you a bit
for getting sick. She would take care of you nonetheless, not letting you do
anything at all. She would have you sit down on the couch, bundled up in
blankets while she made sure you had everything you needed. If you told her how
much you loved her for this, she’d smile widely and blush a bit, telling you it
was no big deal.
Jisoo Jisoo’s number one task would be to make you feel good again. That meant
not just taking care of you, but cranking the normal amount of jokes and puns
up to maximum. She’d try to make you laugh no matter how bad you felt, but
would probably just end up laughing at her own jokes (which would make you
laugh in the end). She’d get you everything you asked for and check up on you a
lot to make sure you were okay.
Rosé Rosé wouldn’t know exactly what to do when you were sick. She’d ask you
what you would like whenever she could, food wise, temperature wise, mood wise.
After cooking for you she’d probably lay next to you, this time not listening
to you if you’d tell her to go away because you didn’t want her to get sick
too. All she’d want was for you to be comfortable and healthy again.
“Patrick come over here and sit with me a while” Brice suggested patting the floor beside him.
Patrick stared at the spot on the floor before lowering himself down. “Tell me again why we can’t sit on the couch or something?” he complained as he leaned into Brice.
Putting his arms around the other man Brice chuckled “this is more….romantic.”
Leaning back Patrick chuckled “keep dreaming lover boy.”
“What’s that supposed to mean” Brice objected “all we need is a roaring fire and…”
“And a fireplace” Patrick shook his head “maybe someday but on my salary we’ll have to keep on dreaming.”
“I don’t mind” Brice sighed “have you told you mother yet about your transfer?”
Patrick stiffened in his boyfriends arms “not yet”. He’d been putting it off for weeks now dreading the moment of truth. His mother would be so disappointed. Ever since he joined the academy he had heard nothing but how he was going to be just like his Grandfather, a police chief. How could he tell her that wasn’t his dream? That he wanted to do something else. Something a little less dangerous but no less important.
“She’ll understand” Brice told him “just start off by saying I have something to tell you.”
“It’s not that easy” he grunted “you know how long it took her to accept our relationship. This is going to be ten times worse.”
“Just tell her Pat” Brice said firmly “she’ll either accept it or she won’t. Whatever it’s your decision unless you don’t want to go into forensics…”
“It’s not that” Patrick assured him “I’ve wanted to make the switch for a while now. I just don’t want to disappoint…”
“Just tell her” Brice repeated “you’ll still have me regardless.”
“Brice” Patrick said looking up “I have something to tell you.”
Or more accurately, a poem about The Love Of My Life.
I believe it was this past weekend when I told you that I loved Sundays
And I do love Sundays, but that’s not the point
I told you I love Sundays because they remind me of home
That the whole concept and feeling of Sundays feels like what home would feel like
But have I told you that when I’m with you I get that same feeling?
Have I told you that you make me feel like I’m at home?
Have I told you that you make me feel like it’s Sunday?
You make me feel so safe and so secure
You make me feel like tomorrow’s Monday and life’s coming at me so fast
You make me feel like morning cartoons and full bowls of cereal
You make me feel like maybe everything will be okay
When I am with you time is an afterthought, something I don’t even believe in
When I am with you I feel like maybe father time speeds up the clocks
I feel like maybe he can’t stand to see us so in love and so happy together
Because he himself cannot be in love with the one he truly wants
How can you possibly love a concept?
My favorite part about this poem is that it’s hypocritical in itself
How can I love Sunday if time doesn’t exist? If it’s a concept?
But then I have to ask myself
How can I know I love you?
Isn’t love a concept along with time?
I know I love you because when I see you smile or laugh or chuckle
I feel like Sunday.
-At the start of my shift, we had a team huddle to discuss store business matters. The first matter, and most important, was us all sampling the new Unicorn Frappuccino. A quality meeting, if I have ever been to one.
-An elderly woman remarked to me that it smelled like something was burning and asked if someone had burned popcorn. As a result, she spent the remainder of the transaction cackling to herself. If she thought that her joke was a funny one, I believe I may have finally found a good audience for my comedy.
-A Chubby Puppy wind-up toy was left at my register. I have named her Juniper and I love her, inability to walk in anything but a circle and all.
-In regards to the card reader before him, an older gentleman noted, “This seems like a pretty nice keyboard. I think I can solve it.” He inspires a great deal of faith in me. I think he can solve it, too.
-An older woman asked me if anything that she had purchased was on Cartwheel. I told her that I did not know off the top of my head, at which point she responded by glaring at me threateningly and telling me that I looked smart, so I had better be sure and I had better be right. Luckily, I know very few things in life, so it is more than likely that Cartwheel offers fall into this category.
-A couple bantered over how much they had each spent. The woman, having bought the most, said, “It makes sense, you are cheaper than me.” After a moment, the man replied, “I’m trying to think of something to say, but you drove and you’re paying.” Not since Machiavelli has one held all of the cards so masterfully.
-A sweet grandfatherly man, sporting a pinstripe shirt that seemed to have been with him as long as his timeless smile, came through holding a purple and yellow rubber ball. He asked me if I thought it would be good for four square before pausing for a moment and asking me if I knew what four square is. Overjoyed when I said yes, he told me of his plans to teach the neighborhood kids and help them be more active. He then said that he was going to go let his friends know that the ball would work. I later saw him with a pair of women, each as happy and smiling as himself. This man knows all that one needs in life, and I hope to one day learn from him.
-A young girl noted Juniper by my register and asked if she could pet her. I naturally said yes, as long as she was careful. Gently cupping the pup in her hands, she complimented me on how soft my plastic friend was.
I’m a mixed black african girl who grew up and lived most of her life in Cameroon, in Central Africa. My dad is half-white (french) and half-black (cameroonian), and my mom is 100% cameroonian. There’s little to no black african characters in popular fiction, which has always bothered me, and it would be so nice to read about someone like me for once.
Culture and food
Cameroon is a country created during colonization, with borders defined by europeans. Because of that, Cameroon is actually made of 200 ethnic groups, each of them having their own language and culture. So the culture and daily habits vary a lot depending on which region of Cameroon you are in. In the big cities, though, everyone is mingled no matter where they’re from. However, so many different ethnic groups cohabiting together often causes tension. There are also a lot of stereotypes about every ethnic group.
I grew up in the central and coastal areas of the country, and I’m Bassa. The Bassa are one of the main ethnic groups in Cameroon. If your parents are from two different ethnic groups, it is decided that you officially belong to your father’s ethnic group. My mother is Bakoko but my father is Bassa, so I’m the latter. When I meet another Cameroonian, two of the first questions we usually ask each other are : What are you (meaning, what’s your ethnic group) ? and Where is you village ?
Villages are very important in the Cameroonian culture. Your village is where your father’s ancestors were born. Even if you’re not born there, you usually have grandparents or great-uncles or family friends living there, and if you have enough money to do so you must regularly visit your village. And usually, when people earn enough money, they send money to their village so that people living there can have a better life, build more houses and schools etc.
Cameroonian food is very diverse, and varies depending on the region. The national dish is Ndolé, a dish made with ndolé leaves, stewed nuts, and meat (fish, beef or shrimps). Other common foods are bobolo and miondo (food made out of fermented manioc), soya (spicy grilled meat on skewers), and plantain. My dad is half-french though, so at home we eat almost as much french food as cameroonian food (crème brûlée, shepherd’s pie, beef bourguignon, A LOT of bread and cheese).
There are hundreds of different languages, but the official languages are French and English. Cameroon was colonized by France and England so Northern Cameroon mainly speaks english and central/southern Cameroon mainly speaks french. Most people also speak their ethnic group’s language. I don’t know how to speak Bassa, though, because neither do my parents. When me and my siblings were kids, our dad asked our baby-sitter to teach us, but she could only do so much and I only remember a few words.
Like most countries, there is a lot of colorism in Cameroon based on European beauty standards. When you’re a woman, the lighter you are, the prettier and more desirable you are considered. Dark skinned women are often mocked and considered not as pretty. A lot of people, mainly women but also men, use dangerous products to lighten their skin. Internalized racism and white beauty standards are very insidious, and a lot of people want to look like white people, including me when I was younger. As a kid I remember wishing i was a pretty blonde-haired blue-eyed white girl like the heroines of the books i was reading. Growing up I stopped wishing that, but I relaxed and straightened my hair a lot, wanting to have long straight hair without realizing that it was still an attempt to look like the ideal version of a white girl. I’m sure that if I had more black female characters to relate to when I was growing up, I wouldn’t have spend so many years hating myself without even realizing I was doing it.
Also, Cameroonians usually consider thick, curvy women to be the ideal beauty standard. But being thin is still an ideal broadcast by the media (especially that american and european media are heavily broadcast and consumed in Cameroon) so most women still diet a lot and go to the gym to lose weight.
Women wear a lot of skirts and dresses, be it casual or for work. Most cameroonian schools have uniforms and mandatory hairstyles (either cornrows or short shaved hair).
Elderly people often wear more traditional clothes and outfits. The most prominent traditional item of clothing is the Kaba. The Kaba is a long dress made of wax fabric and other materials and is owned by pretty much every woman. The dress looks different depending on the situation : the Kaba you wear when you stay at home is usually very long and very loose, the Kaba you wear during official/formal events is more tight-fitting and stylized, etc.
Dating and Relationships
I’ve never dated anyone, but when I was in high school none of my friends ever told their parents they were seeing someone. Having your parents know about and meet the person you’re dating after only a few weeks or months is something that just doesn’t happen (unless someone gets pregnant). It’s when things get serious that you introduce them to your family. Also, a lot of parents would prefer their children to marry someone from the same ethnic group.
Homosexuality is still illegal there, and you can go to jail for being gay.
My parents are still happily married, and I have 3 siblings. My parents are both close to their siblings, and I’m close to mine. Me and my siblings grew up with our cousins, we were always at each other’s houses. I pretty much consider most of my cousins as extra siblings. We have a very big extended family and every day I discover new distant cousins, aunts, great-uncles etc. My dad being half-french, when I was growing up we sometimes went to France during summer to visit his relatives living there.
In Cameroon, most people who have enough money to do so send their children to study abroad once they’ve graduated high school. I’m currently living in France for my studies, and most of my high school friends are also going to college in France, England, Canada, Brussels, South Africa etc.
Despite being only ¼ white, I’m very light-skinned. My siblings being much darker skinned, when I was a kid I thought I was adopted (i’m not, it’s just genetics). Cameroon being a black country, when someone is visibly mixed and light-skinned as i am, most people just label them “white”. A lot of people would refer to me as “the white” and it always really hurt me. My family wouldn’t understand why i was so angry and hurt, they’d say “they don’t mean anything by it, it’s just that you’re light” but the fact is it made me feel like i don’t belong. I’m cameroonian, i’ve lived in Cameroon almost my entire life, i’m black, and still some people see me as “other”, they see me as white. And so for a long time, I didn’t dare to call myself black, I’d say “I’m biracial” or “I’m mixed” instead because I somehow felt like a fraud. But I’m black and not white-passing at all, and I still experience racism abroad (but I’m aware I have a lot more privilege than dark skinned people).
So I’m currently living in France. On one hand, sometimes white people are racist toward me, or just totally obnoxious and ignorant, trying to touch my natural hair and thinking that people in Cameroon don’t have computers or whatever. On the other hand, when I randomly meet other cameroonians and we start talking, they always assume that because i’m mixed i’ve lived my entire life in France and i don’t know anything about Cameroon. And there’s nothing wrong with being a child of immigrants and not knowing the country your parents or grandparents came from, but i know that if i wasn’t visibly mixed they wouldn’t question the fact that i know Cameroon and lived there my entire life.
Because of how the media depict African countries, a lot of people think that everyone in Africa is extremely poor and starving, that we don’t have electricity and internet and that everyone lives in huts. Which is so false. We have rich people and poor people, we have huge modern cities and regular cities and small villages with huts, almost everyone has access to a tv and internet, etc.
Things I’d like to see less of
Cameroon and other african countries being depicted as poor unfortunate countries where everyone is starving and illiterate and waiting for the generous white people to save us. What we need is for people to see us as the humans we are, and to allow us to grow in peace.
Things I’d like to see more of
Black african characters being written as the complex human beings we are. Shy black african characters. Nerdy and hella smart black african characters. Mixed black african characters who struggle with their identity. LGBTQ black african characters.
Tropes/Stereotypes I’m tired of seeing.
The “savage”, “uncivilized” african. African characters who are aggressive, dumb and shout all the time. The poor africans in need of saving by white people.
Request : please do a jeff atkins imagine but please dont let him die there iM BEGGIN U
This imagine doesn’t mention his death or the party or anything! Just a regular ‘dating Jeff Atkins’ imagine. Lol
Requests are closed. xx
Warnings : not really smut but… stripping ?…. cheeky!Jeff
Pairings : Jeff x Fem.Reader
Walking into the library, my eyes scanned over everyone’s faces until I saw my boyfriend sitting with Clay. He looked irritated and pinched the bridge of his nose. Taking a seat at the table, Jeff’s eyes lit up.
“Hey babe.” He smiled.
I grinned, “How’s he doing, Clay?”
“Depends. Did Abraham Jefferson write the Declaration of Independence?” Clay responded smartly.