i throw my bollocks at you

Kylo struggling to compose an ode to his love

… … …


… … …

Shall I compare thee to a Death Star?

Thou art more unpredictable and more destructive…

… … … Nope … … …

You know I throw tantrums,

None of this is new,

But there’s no one I’d rather stick my weiner in than you…

… … … Dammit … … …

My Dear, I watch you toil,

 My Love, I watch you labour,

You make me wanna play, all night, with my lightsaber…

… … … Bollocks … … …


fun things overheard in my aeneid class today

“forgetting how far we can throw jupiter for a second….”

“it’s all bollocks forget everything i said everything i’ve taught you the last seven weeks is all wrong”

“do you really want your condom company named after like the trojan horse? that’s a pretty big failure to keep something from getting in”

“it’s just jupiter playing fast and loose with the truth so that a female deity doesn’t yell at him”

“jupiter told venus everything would be fine and we’ve literally just had eleven books of it not being fine”

“what would be more scary a giant horse filled with soldiers or a giant soldier filled with horses”

“reverse trojan horse” “is that a sex position?”

“here’s this sex crazed goat god”

“this isn’t the first time we’ve seen aeneas ripping a tree to pieces and being sad”

“we’re all gonna die again. great.”

“but they werent like “mooooo sacrifice me”

“actually if it’s ok with you aeneas i’d quite like not to die’

“he’s just this new guy who’s angry about things”

“i’ve lost all will to live and i just want to go home with my doggy”

Not Again - Isaiah

Originally posted by bonniebirdsgifcentre

From this prompt list:

16)  “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”

Part One | Part Two | Part Three


“You need to leave,” I say throwing Isaiah’s clothes at him.

He just laughs and carries on eating the breakfast that the maid had brought up for me.

“You need to go now!” I say again, trying to rip the covers back from him.

“Why?” he mumbles through a mouthful of toast.

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That Night

A/N: So I intended to write something trio focused and @lydias-martin mentioned a particular missing scene involving the Trio. Well, trio turned into the two couples and here we are. Rated T for harsh language. Ace safe.

“Ron, you have to tell her.”

Ron picked up a butterbeer and took a long drink, not looking at Harry.

“And quit stalling it. Hermione needs to know and not from me.”

Ron finally looked at Harry pulling a face. “You wouldn’t.”

“If you don’t pull a finger out, I’ll have to, only to save your arse from Hermione’s beastly temper.”

“She’ll think I’m a twat over it. How can she know how buggered my head is over that rubbish? Fuck, it’s been years and I can’t let it go.” Ron sighed. “I know if I tell her, she’ll toss me over the side. Who’d want to be with a fuck-up like I am?”

“No she won’t. But she needs to know. And I think what you’ve done since them makes up for it so many times.”

Ron sat quietly for moments, looking like he was having a heated row inside his head with himself.  Harry gave him the time he needed, just like Ron did for him countless times over the years. But where he needed time to be moody and mean and grey, Hermione rubbed off on Ron enough that he could make the hard decisions and stick with it, given enough time and quiet.

Finally Ron looked up and was slightly pale. “Will you be there? I don’t think I can tell her everything.”

“Sure. I’m not leaving you alone to tell her everything. I promised I’d be there.”

Ron pulled his coin bag out of his pocket and laid down the two galleons for Hannah.  “I reckon now is as good of a time as any.”

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arrenemris  asked:

oh and 73! honestly it gives some Kol vibes lmao

73: “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

I feel like my writing is getting worse…fuck xD Probably because it’s 5 am! But hey there’s Kol yay! On FF 

Also, If you want me to do one!

Surprise, Surprise!

Caroline stepped out of the hot shower, covering herself with her cute pink towel she exited the bathroom. “AHHHHHHH! KOL! What the hell?”

“What is it darling?” Kol asked stretching his arms.

“Uhm…is there a - good - reason you’re naked in my bed?!” Caroline insisted.

“There is a reason, whether it’s good or not…is unclear…”

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  • Me when writing: This is the best thing ever, oh my gosh that line, it's brilliant, it will go down in history as one of the best lines ever written! I am a writing goddess, no-one can stop me!
  • Me when editing: Crap. Crap. Shit. Bollocks. Fuck - oh Jesus Christ, what the hell was I thinking? It must've been midnight when I wrote this. Oh jeez. Throw me off the planet, into the sun, I am the worst writer ever.

i will never stop making art no matter how sad i am or what a bollocks life i am having because making art is the only thing that ever keeps me alive. No matter what life and the universe throw into me, I’ll fucking grab it and make it work . Because i am a fighting and a  survivor , I don’t give up. I preach for the lights, the love and kindness. Without art my life is just living. Without love I won’t ever be here. So thank you and fuck all these shitty feelings because i am gonna turn all these shite into lights.

Unwanted (Part 2)

Summary: The reader is kidnapped by Hydra and finds out that she is Tony Stark’s daughter. She is taken under the wing of the Avengers with Bucky and Steve acting as her protectors. The reader discovers the truth about her family while trying to grieve over the death of her mother, who died during the events in Sokovia. Will she be able to forgive the people responsible for her mother’s death? Will she survive the danger that has fallowed her all her life?

Bucky X Reader X Steve

Words: 1559

Part 1

Originally posted by moan-s

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learning to bend

A retelling of how Sirius brought James and Lily together in 6th year. Tropes: meddling friends & a bet.

word count: 4,283 // ao3
rated T for swearing and mild adult themes

Written for @jilyfest

I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that the credit for James and Lily finally getting their heads out of their arses and falling in love belongs to me. When I give the best man’s speech someday, it will really just be an ode to my own genius because without me, those two never would have gotten together. No doubt Peter will try to claim some of the credit for himself, but as you’ll see, it was entirely my doing.

People always think I’m just the good-looking one, the dark, brooding one. Remus is supposed to be the brains of the operation, James the muscle, and Peter the comic relief. Or so they say, because they’re all wrong.

Honestly, I’m all four.

So there’s a couple of things you ought to know about Prongs. The first is he can’t turn down a challenge. There is literally nothing too stupid or too dangerous where he’s concerned. Tell him he can’t do something – or Merlin forbid use the word “dare” anywhere within hearing distance – and he’ll tear his body to pieces to prove himself. It’s just how he’s wired.

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anonymous asked:

do you ever get in a rut where you feel like everything you're drawing is just shit and you're drawing the same thing over and over? i am in that right now. how do you get out?

Yes! Particularly recently, I just want to throw everything I’ve made into the sea because it’s bollocks. Unfortunately I think it’s a normal experience for anyone doing something creative. In terms of dealing: Time and distance are your friends - it will pass, and often it’s just a case of roughing it out and being dissatisfied with work until something shifts. Other times I do have to take myself away and do something completely different so I’m not just smacking my head against a brick wall trying to draw. I find that having a bit of space/thinking about other things resets my brain and I can come back to art feeling less self-critical and more enthusiastic.

Sorry that’s quite vague! Good luck and Be kind to you, you can’t hate yourself into working well xo

anonymous asked:

You're such a hypocrite! It's okay to say that Bucky's been mistreated because you want to bang him, but you don't like Loki so he's just the bad guy?

Oh Daddy wouldn’t make me king, because I’m younger than Thor, which would technically make me second in line anyway. Time to throw a murderous tantrum, it’s fine though, I’m adopted and suddenly have decided that Daddy Odin never loved me. Never mind that Thor and my friends and the rest of my family totally did! Right, I’m going to try and take over the Earth because I want to be the leader, I want to own something! Bollocks, that didn’t work either. Right, well, time to kill Daddy Odin and take his place.


“I’m a soldier in WW2, risking my life for my country. Shit, that’s my best friend, even though he could pick me up with one hand now, I still have to protect him and be by his side! Oh no, I’ve fallen to my death, but wait, all these experiments have meant I’ve survived and wait, what are you doing?!

I’m a killer. I’m just a killer. That’s what I have to do. I’m the asset, the Winter Soldier. Who’s Bucky? Your face, those eyes, you know me, how do you know me? Am I something else? Was I something before this? Was I Bucky? You’ve risked your life to save me. Nobody does that, nobody saves the asset. Who the hell am I?

Yes. I can completely see why I’m in the wrong here.

And I never said I didn’t like Loki, I like Loki, it just drives me mad how people blame everyone else for his actions all the time. I don’t know if we’re watching different movies or what, because going specifically by MCU canon, I don’t get this whole ‘Odin is emotionally abusive to Loki’ thing at all. 

And yes, Bucky would get it, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything. 

my friend said to me ‘it’s really easy to enjoy doctor who if you just ignore all the plot holes and don’t think about it.’

and i don’t know man…

because that shouldn’t be the fucking mindset fans are in.

it’s a fucking insult and i’m fucking sorry the fact that fans aren’t throwing shit at the walls by half of the bollocks plot holes created actually upsets me because they it’s like they don’t repsect themselves enough to go;

'hold up a minute moff, how the fuck did they get out of the doctors timestream alive? seriously? how are they alive? the doctor himself told clara she would be dead the MOMENT she stepped into that no exceptions at all…ever…none… maybe she’s an echo of herself…but still the doctor would be dead…instantly….so…if they’re alive does that mean richard e. grant is also alive (so like the whispermen are alive right?????) or does it only apply to what you want it to apply to? what are the rules? should we just ignore this? how come she got out with the doctor no explanations and got a job as a fucking teacher when she should be like a billion times dead?’

idk that’s a pretty big insult to me that there’s now been TWO episodes and no fan has actually stopped and found way to ask him this literally the majority are numbed by it all now they’ll just ignore stuff like this.