i thought you were chinese

Practice

Requested by @captaindanindlovu​. I hope you like it!

Summary: Jared Padalecki x reader. Gen gives Jared and the reader permission to do what they’d like.

Warning: Smut, dry humping

Word Count: 2500

A/N: I’m still new to this RPF thing, so I hope y’all enjoy this! XOXO


Sex scenes aren’t the most comfortable scenes to shoot.

Sex scenes are even more uncomfortable when you’re shooting in front of the guy’s wife, who just happens to be visiting and has been given permission to be on the closed set.

Sex scenes are even more uncomfortable when you’re trying to get over the attraction you’ve developed to said married guy.

And sex scenes are incredibly uncomfortable when the married guy who you’re simulating sex with gets an erection. In front of the visiting wife.

Keep reading

one time i was asked by someone if i were a half-asian, and i replied that i was 100% chinese. and they’re like “oh i thought you were half because you hang out with white people.” like… okay 1. i have asian friends too lol 2. i didn’t know that just because i’m asian i’m supposed to only hang out with asians. that doesn’t make me any less asian to hang out with some white people lmao. i wasn’t super offended but i don’t get why is there a stereotype that all asians hang out in groups and only talk to each other??

Mind the Neighbors

Happy (early) birthday, @flawlessbanshee! I know your 25th year will be as incredible as you are ❤️ 

Modern AU, 2k, fake dating, fluff: Bellamy’s new neighbor seems rather irritated with him, until it turns out she might need his help.

For the third time that week Bellamy had come home to a passive aggressive note from his downstairs neighbor. In the six years Bellamy had lived in that apartment, he had never had half as much trouble with one of the other tenants. But since his new neighbor had moved in that summer, she had found nothing but problems with him. The only things he knew about her was that her name was Clarke, she was a doctor, and by all signs she didn’t much care for him.

It was always the noise. She worked early shifts at the hospital, and when he got home late from parent teacher conferences or the occasional date apparently his normal tread would wake Clarke from the deepest of sleep. She had appeared at his door one night, clad in pajama pants and an oversized sweatshirt, hair mussed from sleep, and (almost politely) asked him to be a little quieter when he came home late. He had apologized, refrained from suggesting such a light sleeper should wear earplugs, and casually noticed that his new neighbor was pretty cute.

Since they worked such opposite schedules, the next time Bellamy saw Clarke was when he was taking out the trash late one night a few months later. He’d accidentally dropped a bag on the first floor landing. Clarke had opened the door to her apartment, wearing her scrubs and only half awake, and told him dryly he was lucky she was already up for work. He laughed and apologized again, but she brushed past him before he had a chance to reply.

The notes were new. The first one, which he found taped to his door on Monday night, read: “You either have a leak in your kitchen or you’ve left the faucet running for two days straight. For the love of god, please turn off the damn faucet or get it fixed. Mind the neighbors.” He’d rolled his eyes, but she was right…there was a leak. At least she’d caught it before the water bill did. The next note, on Thursday, simply read: “Please consider investing in house slippers.” He’d chuckled and made sure to take his shoes off as soon as he got home in future.

The third note came on Friday. He found it when he’d gotten home from work around six o’clock. He was starving, and just wanted to make some pasta and turn the history channel and put off grading papers until tomorrow. Instead, he saw Clarke’s tell-tale light blue stationary attached to his door. He sighed preemptively, and pulled the note down. It read: “If you don’t have plans next Friday, text me. I could use a hand with something.” Clarke had written her phone number at the bottom of the note. Bewildered and curious, Bellamy dropped his books on the coffee table and made his way downstairs. He had seen Clarke’s car, and heard music playing on his way past her door, so he knew she was home and awake.

She answered quickly at the knock, wearing leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, but frowned when she saw it was him. “I thought you were the Chinese food. Didn’t I ask you to text me?”

Bellamy smirked at her terse manner. “Sorry, I just knew you were home. What did you need a hand with?”

Clarke sighed and opened the door fully. “Come in, you’re letting all the heat out.”

Bellamy stepped inside and followed her into the kitchen. Her apartment was messier than he would have expected. Not untidy, exactly, but there were a few piles of clean laundry on the couch and the sink was full of coffee mugs.

“So…what did you need a hand with next Friday?” Bellamy asked, leaning over the laminate top of the island as she took a seat on the counter next to the sink. “Leaky faucet?”

Clarke laughed at his bad joke, and Bellamy grinned back.

“No,” she replied, looking a little sheepish, “I actually need a date.”

Bellamy didn’t bother trying to hide the surprise on his face. “A date? That’s what you need a hand with?”

“Alright, so I didn’t make the best choice of words. It’s been a long week. Anyway, are you free?”

“Yeah, sure…what’s it for? And why I am on your list of potential dates?”

Clarke sighed and launched into her story. “Every year the hospital where I work throws a big holiday gala. It’s black tie: catered, open bar, full band. I kind of told my coworkers I was dating someone and now they expect me to show up with you.”

“With me?” Bellamy asked. “You told them you were dating a person you’ve talked to a grand total of twice?”

“Four times if you count the notes,” Clarke replied. “Yeah, you were the first person that popped into my head for some reason.”

Bellamy ran a hand through his hair, utterly confused. “I didn’t even know you knew my name.”

“It’s on your mailbox. Not a name you’re likely to forget even if you only see it once.”

Bellamy laughed. “Alright, that checks out.”

“So you’re in?” Clarke asked, looking excited. It was cute.

“Sure,” Bellamy agreed, smiling at her. “I don’t have plans, and it sounds like a fun party.”

Clarke sighed, clearly relieved. “It should be, now that I can deflect people…do you have a tux?”

“Not exactly…”

“I’ll cover a rental, no worries,” Clarke cut in quickly. “Just save the receipt for me.”

“Ok, that seems fair.” Bellamy bit his lip, looking around her apartment. “So, what’s our story?”

“Pardon?”

“Our relationship story. For starters, how long have you been telling your coworkers we’ve been dating?”

“Oh, that…about two months. Not to get too personal, but I had this kind of awful breakup last year, and the rebound wasn’t great either.”

“Sorry to hear that,” he replied genuinely.

“It’s fine, I’ve moved on. They just don’t believe that I have.” Clarke rolled her eyes. “So now I’m going to show them I’m with someone else, and then we’ll ‘break up,’” Clarke did air quotes, “and they’ll let me alone for a while.”

Bellamy raised his eyebrows. “Your friends sound like a handful.”

“They are, but honestly they mean well. You’re right, we’ll need to exchange all our personal details in case you get questions.”

Before Bellamy could reply, the doorbell rang

“Food’s here!” Clarke jumped down from her perch on the counter and headed for the door. “Why don’t you stay for dinner? We can talk and get our story straight. I always order way too much, save me from the leftovers.”

Bellamy grinned. “Sounds great.”

On Friday night, Clarke took Bellamy’s breath away twice in the space of a minute. The first time was when she opened the door to meet him. She wearing an incredibly flattering red dress, her hair was swept up and off to the side, and she was already smiling—that was new. Second, when she leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.

“Sorry, just thought we should get into character,” she said lightly when he froze up.

“No, that’s good, that’s fine,” Bellamy murmured.
Clarke’s eyes glinted mischievously as she gestured to her dress. “You like?”

“You look amazing.” Absolutely no point in lying, he supposed.

Clarke’s laugh wrinkled her nose. “Benefits of you only seeing me scrubs or pajamas before, I guess. Come in, I’m just getting my shoes. Tux looks good, by the way,” Clarke called as she walked into her bedroom. “You have your receipt?”

“Yeah, uhhh….it’s ok, though.” Bellamy replied, meeting Clarke’s eye as she reemerged with a pair of strappy pumps. “It wasn’t a problem, I don’t need you to reimburse me.”

Clarke sat down on the couch and began to put her shoes on, the slit on the side of her dress falling away to reveal almost the entire length of her leg. “You sure? It’s no problem, you are doing me a favor after all…”

“I’m sure,” Bellamy replied, trying his best not to stare. “It would make me feel less like a gigolo.”

Clarke snorted and glanced up at him, eyes twinkling.

“Besides,” Bellamy continued, “I’m getting dinner and drinks out of this, so it’s a fair enough trade.”

“I’ll say so,” Clarke grinned up at him. “Not to mention I’m a damn delight.”

He chuckled, and offered his arm to escort her out to the waiting car.

The gala was being held at the Arkadia, an upscale hotel and the nicest venue in town. The decorations were spectacular, and Bellamy was again reminded of the relative poverty of his chosen profession.

Clarke seemed far more comfortable on his arm than he had expected, so Bellamy didn’t have to try very hard to appear like a convincing boyfriend. He had privately felt a little like James Bond since putting the rental tux on, and Clarke certainly could pass for a Bond girl with that dress and those shoes and that everything else…

“You want a drink?”

Her question startled him back to reality. “Please.”

She grinned and took his hand, leading him towards the bar.

“Gin and tonic and a tequila on the rocks, please,” Bellamy ordered, remembering Clarke’s preferred inaugural drink.

“Thanks,” she smiled up at him, then turned to face the room. “Ok, so I see Monty and Miller over there, you’ll like them both.” She glanced back at him. “You ready for this?”

Bellamy took a sip of his cocktail and nodded. “Bring it on.”

Clarke slipped her hand into his again (he was already sort of used to that feeling), and they made their way across the room.

“Griffin!” a voice behind them called, and Bellamy turned to see a petite dark haired woman waving at them.

“Who’s this, Raven?” he whispered to Clarke under his breath.

“Nice,” she replied appreciatively in a low voice and called back, “Hey, Reyes.”

“So this is the mysterious boyfriend,” Raven said with a smirk, giving Bellamy a once over. “I don’t know why you were hiding him, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of here.”

Bellamy smirked and glanced at Clarke, playing the part. “Yeah, babe, you embarrassed of me, or something?”

“Oh please,” Clarke elbowed him playfully. “Like any of us have a lot of time for socializing anyway.”

“Well, we were all starting to doubt that you existed, is all,” Raven replied. “Happy to be proven wrong!”

“Starting to doubt who existed?” a man had just appeared at Raven’s elbow. He glanced over at Bellamy. “Oh, holy shit, is this the infamous Bellamy? You’re real, huh?”

“Yes, Murphy, he exists,” replied Clarke shortly.

Murphy raised an eyebrow as he handed a drink to Raven. “Well, I guess I’m going to be losing some money on that betting pool.”

Bellamy laughed and placed a hand on Clarke’s waist. “Sorry to disappoint, man.”

“You’ve done anything but that,” Raven chimed in, giving Clarke a look that said nicely done.

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Well, now that you’ve both been proven wrong, excuse us, we have to make our rounds.”

Bellamy continued to enjoy himself more as the night wore on. Clarke’s easy manner with him helped. She was quite physically comfortable around him, or she acted like it. She was constantly running and hand over his back, pressing up against him, or playing with his hair. She wasn’t even tipsy, just—very convincingly playing his girlfriend. If he wasn’t careful, he’d believe it too.

Clarke’s coworkers were all very friendly, if a little too invested in their “relationship.” The rehearsed “how did you meet” story went over with a smash every time. Even Dr. Jaha, Clarke’s boss, complimented them on being a lovely couple. The dinner was great, the speeches bearable, and the booze continued to flow freely throughout. By the time the gala was wrapping up, Bellamy hated that he would have to go back to being just Clarke’s upstairs neighbor.

“You ready to get out of here?” Clarke asked, fighting back a yawn, as guests started to filter out of the ballroom.

Bellamy knew he wasn’t ready for the night to end quite yet, but they had made their agreement, and he was going to stick to it. He nodded.

The car ride back was pretty quiet, and though he had an urge to wrap an arm round her, he resisted. They were in private now, and that wasn’t part of the deal. He walked her to her door of course, arm in arm, but it was cold so that just made sense.

“So, thanks for tonight…” Clarke said when they reached her apartment. She had unlocked her door but had yet to step inside. She was still lingering in the hallway for some reason. He hair had started to fall down from its styling, and her lipstick had faded, but she still looked stunningly beautiful. It wasn’t making walking away any easier for him.

“Yeah, I guess it’s time for us to break up,” Bellamy replied, regretting the words before they left his lips.

Clarke bit her lower lip, still hesitating in the doorway, a curious expression on her face.

“Or—“ Bellamy continued hurriedly, “What if we didn’t?”

“Didn’t what?” Clarke asked, taking a step towards him. “Didn’t break up?”

Bellamy bowed his head, flushing slightly, but didn’t waver. “Yeah, I just mean…I had a lot of fun tonight. You can go back to leaving passive aggressive notes on my door, but maybe we can hang out again sometimes—“

Clarke grinned widely. “How about we just do that now?” and she kissed him. It was a good kiss, long and deep, her hands tangled in his hair and his arms wrapping round her waist. He pulled back after a moment, completely dazed but smiling ear to ear.

“You want to come in?” she asked in a husky voice, kicking the door open behind her.

Bellamy smirked. No more hesitation. He lifted her up in a single motion and her legs wrapped around him.

“Bedroom’s that way,” Clarke murmured, not bothering to stop kissing him, just vaguely gesturing with one arm behind her, throwing his bow tie aside as she did so. 

“Make sure we keep it down,” Bellamy whispered teasingly as he laid her on the bed, “We’ve got to mind the neighbors.”

Clarke grinned and pulled him towards her by his collar. “No promises.”

Polyglot [Seventeen Fluff]

A/N: @netflixingcastiel Sorry for taking so long omg. I tried to be a hero and search up about different languages and then I realised that there’s no point because you guys wouldn’t be able to read some (sobs why am I so dumb). I also had requests previously so I’m so so sorry again!! This is very different from what I usually write hahah…Here it is and I hope you like it :-) 

Word Count: 900+ (it’s a shorter one :-))


“________,” your friend nudged you and you frowned.

“What?”

“Teach me some Korean and Chinese, like the basics.”

At that moment, the lights dimmed and you sat up straighter, craning your neck to see whether the boys were coming on stage.

“Hey, don’t you dare ignore me,” she snapped and you rolled your eyes, turning to face her.

“Lisa, the concert’s about to start! You should have learned some basics at home if you wanted to impress Mingyu and Jun later on at the album signing,” you sneered and she glared at you.

“You’re just being sel-”

“Shut up! It’s starting, don’t you see them?”

A beam of light cut through the darkness and shone directly at a platform on the stage and you knew that the boys would be emerging from there. Fumbling around for your lightstick, you let out a sigh when you saw Lisa sticking her tongue out at you while she held onto your lightstick tightly.

“You’re going to teach me a few phrases,” she smiled and you reached out to grab it but she pulled it back faster, raising her eyebrows as she did.

“Fine.”


Your throat hurt whenever you tried to speak.

“I think…I screamed too much,” you whispered and Lisa nodded, choking out a ‘me too’. You told yourself to shut up and save whatever voice you had left for the album signing which was the thing that really mattered - a time where you could meet the members face to face.

As you stood in line, waiting for your turn, you closed your eyes and tried to remember everything you had planned to say. That they look amazing, and that I love them, and that-

“So, tell me how to say I love you in Chinese,” Lisa nudged you and your thoughts were interrupted.

“Wo, ai, ni,” you said slowly, putting emphasis on all three words and she repeated after you, sounding funny but still understandable.

“Okay. Now, how do you said ‘you look handsome’.”

“Ni, hen, shuai,” you sighed and she nodded, mouthing the words to herself.

“Now can you keep quiet?”

Your heart was beating rapidly and you could feel your mouth becoming dry as you got closer and closer to the stage. I practiced for this. I’ve been waiting for this. The excitement was building up and escalating but would always drop because of demands that would shoot out from Lisa’s mouth.

“Okay let’s do Korean now shall we?”

This cycle of silent squealing followed by frustrated repetitions of the same phrase repeated over and over again until you found yourself making eye contact with Soonyoung.

Omg.

It felt as if everything you had been seeing on screen was a beautiful lie - because what you saw up close in real life was unexplainable and too perfect to be true. His face was flawless, believe it or not. You swore that you could see no pores and a thought flashed into your mind that it was makeup but even with makeup, blemishes would always show but not for him.

He broke out into a wide smile and your back straightened immediately, making sure that you didn’t look sluggish or anything close to the mess that you were inside.

Say something.

“H-hi,” you said in Korean and you wanted to punch yourself for starting with something so lame. You placed the album on the table and he slid it towards him, flipping over the cover to the blank page swiftly after he’s already done it close to a million times.

“What’s your name?” he said in English and you wanted to scream and how adorable he sounded.

“I can speak Korean,” you said slowly and his eyes widened, seemingly impressed. And from the moment on, you started speaking fluently like you always did, gaining confidence as you went from a member to the next.

Passing by Dokyeom, Chan, Mingyu and Wonwoo, you soon reached Jun and you started worrying again.

“Hii!” the boy chirped brightly in English and you swore that their English was the most perfect sound in the entire universe. He reached out for the album and you took a deep breath, telling him your Chinese name.

“You have a Chinese name?” He asked instinctively in Chinese and you replied, telling him that you could speak the language too. You spoke to him for a longer time than the rest and you were so glad that you had an interest in learning Chinese in school.

“Wow, you can speak three languages!” Jisoo chuckled in his perfect English and your face turned bright red.

“I bet she can speak more. You can right?” Seungkwan joked like he always did but the smile was wiped off his face when he saw you nodding slowly.

“wHaT?! SIX? HoW?” Jisoo’s jaw dropped and Seungkwan simply stared. You winced, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Japanese, German and French? That is insane,” Vernon shook his head and Jisoo closed his mouth.  

“I have a love for language,” you said softly and they all nodded as if you were at an interview and you found their reaction to be the cutest thing ever.

“Jisoo speaks well too! But I guess we’ve found someone better,” Seungkwan laughed and you smiled, feeling a small surge of pride.

You had to move on faster than you wished to which was saddening but you tresured every moment you had with them.

The meet and greet ended in a flash and you found yourself waving goodbye to the thirteen boys that you were so blessed to have gotten close to.

“You were the star fan,” Lisa teased and you shook your head, grinning brightly with the memory of them still fresh in your mind.

“Languages are beautiful because they bring people together,” you sighed and she nodded, clenching her hands into fists.

“And that’s why I’m going to master five more languages by the end of the year,” Lisa nodded and you scoffed, patting her on the back.

“It’ll be worth it.” You started.

She nodded once again.

“But good luck.”

[151128 Suwon Fansign] Fanaccount

To B.A.P, what are Chinese fans?
YG: I want to see them again

A female girl group that you like the most lately?
① Twice
② Red Velvet
③ EXID
④ _____
YG: * smiles but doesn’t answer the question*

Please draw what your heart thinks Chinese Babyz are like~
YG: (see picture)

Fan: Since I’m working hard to learn Korean, please teach me a Korean phrase you like
YG: “Self-esteem” - something like your own values. [T/N: Yonggku also further explained the phrase using synonyms related to self-esteem]

Fan: Please give me a wink!
YG: *Winks a little whilst being embarrassed*

Keep reading

That's it I'm dead.

Maybe the correct term or state is “heightened fangirling.”
Maybe a more correct term or state is “dissolving into a puddle of my own feels.”
And maybe the most correct term or state is “dead.”
Okay. I’m done. Gone. Dead. The Lizzie Bennet Diaires just killed me.
Just boiled me alive in beauty. Happy thoughts and words and actions and I am dead.

Maybe “I thought you were Chinese” can be their “always”
??????????????????????????????????????????????

Destiel making up for saveyoursin for being the first to read and comment on my speech :)

Dean looked at the bright yellow flowers in front of him, battling a headache from annoyance and the mixed fragrances.

“Can I help you?” A perky voice asked. A pretty blond was suddenly standing in front of him, smiling. Dean scratched at the back of his neck.

“Uh, yeah. Me and boyfriend got into a fight. I’m trying to find a way to apologize.”

“Oh.” Her smile dimmed a little and her posture changed so that her breasts were no longer in his face. “Do you know what kind of flowers he likes?”

“They’re yellow,” Dean said. “He likes to plant them because they attract bees.”

The girl smiled and led him across the room to whole other display. She plucked a single flower from the bunches there and held it out.

“Are these what you’re talking about?”

“Yeah. He loves those.” She helped Dean pick some out, then went to ring him up.

“They’re buttercups, by the way,” She said, when she handed him his receipt. “Just for future reference.” Dean nodded.

“Thanks.”

Dean spent the drive across town to Castiel’s apartment, trying to think of what to say. He sucked with words and expressing his emotions.

He still had nothing when he knocked on the door. Cas opened it, then frowned when he saw Dean.

“I thought you were my Chinese food.”

“Sorry to disappoint. Can I come in?”

Cas opened the door and Dean walked in. He held the flowers out to him, meekly.

“I got you these. I know you like them a lot.” Cas smiled a little as he took him.

“Thank you.”

“I’m really sorry. I was a huge dick and I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“You accused me of being with someone else,” Cas said, his anger rising again. “In front of my whole office. You stormed in and called me a liar, when I told you, multiple times, that I was going to dinner with a client.”

“I know. I’m so sorry, Cas. It’s just…when I see you with out with other guys like that, I just feel like I’m not good enough. You deserve the world and I can’t even give you a house.”

“I have loved you since I was ten years old,” Cas said. “I fell in love with that rough boy from down the street. We grew up together, Dean. I’ve known what you could and couldn’t give me since day one. I don’t want those things. I want you.”

“I want you, too.” Cas sighed. Dean opened his mouth to apologize again, but Cas put his arms around his neck.

“I love you,” He said. “Just as much today as I did eighteen years ago. I would never risk losing this.”

“Me, either. I’m sorry.”

“Me, too.” Cas kissed him, soft and slow.

“I’m glad you’re here, anyway,” He said, rubbing the tips of their noses together.

“Why’s that?” Dean asked, a slow smile inching onto his face.

“Because I was expecting your apology and ordered your favorite.” Dean laughed and kissed him again.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[TRANS] Cnetz reactions to Wu Yifan’s Chinese Valentine’s Day weibo update

Trans: epikey@tumblr | Source: Wu Yifan weibo | Requested post | (t/n - The vegetable he’s holding is a Shanghai Bok Choy, not a Chinese cabbage. In Chinese, “Chinese cabbage” literally translates to “white vegetable”.)

Wu Yifan [+27741] You think you’re a handsome guy just because you’re holding a Chinese cabbage [doge doge doge bye]

Wu Yifan [+27514] To express the fact that I haven’t updated weibo in quite a while, (I) decided to comment a few more times [thinking happy]

Wu Yifan [+27558] Spending this year with green vegetables, spending next year with Chinese cabbage, I’ll have vegetables every year [hehe]

1. [+3334] Those who like my post today are all that stalk of Chinese cabbage [shy shy shy]

2. [+2500] Told you to not publicise it! Being stubborn again! Yes you’re right, my name is Chinese cabbage :)

3. [+2286] I thought you were taken away by the demons {pick nose pick nose pick nose] (t/n - One of the most iconic lines from Journey to the West is the pig monk or the grizzly monk telling Sun Wukong/Monkey King “Big brother, our master was taken by the demons!”)

4. [+1913] Benefits of those who sleep late [doge]

5. [+1755] Yesterday all kinds of couples on the streets didn’t torment me, but you really did torment me the entire day, waited by my phone waiting for you to update, didn’t manage to do anything, what’s more scary is that, I’m doing all these willingly. [cry]

6. [+1758] This is obviously called a green vegetable, Lao Wu, with shades on your vision isn’t good anymore, good night [haha]

7. [+1551] It’s a Shanghai Bok Choy. [laugh cry laugh cry laugh cry]

8. [+1257] Ge is this really a good thing for you to do, in the dead of the night [bye] Shouldn’t you be going to sleep [angry angry angry]

9. [+1174] Chinese Valentine’s Day is already over [angry]

10. [+1315] Shit, this is the benefit for sleeping late! Lao Wu’s wives like my post like my post like my post! [doge doge]

11. [+1031] Sing with me: Single dog, single dog, single all the day. See AV, hit the plane, theyre doing all the day. Hey! Single dog, single dog, why not be a gay? No more wait, no more afraid, make him be a gay! (t/n - Italics are in English. “Hit the plane” means to jerk off.)

12. [+968] To say that, if I want to use my life to protect another life, then the meaning of my existence is on that living being, if he disappears then my life will become worthless too, then maybe this person is you. Wu Yifan, if you’re tired then let go, no matter how far the road is I’ll accompany you <3

13. [+913] My name is Chinese cabbage

14. [+357] When are you going to publicly announce your dog’s name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woof woof woof!!!!!!!!!!!!

15. [+82] Sing with me, ready, begin: Ah~ ah~ Qixi~ You’re one less Xi than Brazil~~ Ah~ ah~ Qixi~ You’re two Xis more than Wu Xi~~ Ah~ ah~ Qixi~ You’re three Xis more than Sixi~~ Ah~ ah~ Qixi~ You’re four Xis more than Shanxi~~ Ah~ ah~ Qixi~ You’re five Xis more than daughter-in-law~~ Ah~ ah~ Qixi~ You’re six Xis less than ambiguity~~ There will be the day, you will have a full and formal banquet all over the land~~ (t/n - Qixi is Chinese Valentine’s day. Qi means seven. Brazil in Chinese is Ba Xi. Ba means eight. Wu Xi is a place. Wu means five. Shanxi is a place. Shan sounds like san and san means three. Daughter-in-law in Chinese is Erxi. Er means two. Ambiguity is in Chinese is Yi Xi. Yi means one. Full and formal banquet in Chinese is Manhanquanxi.)

16. [+83] Wu Yifan, this thing called Weibo, if you want to post then post, if you’re too busy and have no time then don’t post, it’s all alright. You must continue to work hard, take the time at night to rest well so that you can give your all in work tomorrow, love you, good night.

*In Chinese, “you are my vegetable” means “you are my style/type”.

Ikot a.k.a Frequently Asked Questions

Tita: [to Mom] Does she understand Tagalog?
You: Yes.  
Tita: [to You] That’s good, iha.  
Mom: But she can’t speak it.
Tita: Sayang.
Mom: I know. Talaga.
Teacher: Have you been to the Philippines?
You: Yes.
Teacher: More than once?
You: Yes. 

Stranger: So are you full Canto?
You: What?
Stranger: Are you Canto? Or half?
You: Oh! No. I’m Filipino.
Stranger: Damn! I thought you were Chinese.
You: Was it the last name?
Stranger: Yeah, because usually –
You: Filipinos are Asians with Hispanic last names?
Stranger: Exactly! So you’re different then.
You: Well my Lolo is half Chinese and my middle name is Santos.
Stranger: Oh! So you’re not different. Well there you go.

You: Mom? You’re Filipino, but I’m Filipino-American.
Mom: Yes.
You: Because you grew up in the Philippines, but I grew up here.
Mom: Correct.
You: When [insert celebrity crush here] and I have kids, will you teach them Tagalog? I’ll drop them off here in the summer.
Mom: Why don’t you teach it to them?
You: Because I can’t speak it.
Mom: Then I guess you have to learn.

It’s my first time submitting, but I thought I’d share some of work since I am a writer ^_^