i thought this was gonna be easy

Drinking starters

as requested by @ambitionbled (it won’t let me tag you, sorry!)


  • ❝How much have you had to drink?❞
  • ❝You could have fucking alcohol poisoning!❞  
  • ❝Easy, there. Try to sit up.❞
  • ❝I think I might’ve overdone it on the alcohol…❞
  • ❝We’ve got to go get your stomach pumped.❞
  • ❝I thought you said you were clean!❞
  • ❝Yes, it is a big deal.❞
  • ❝Let me drive you home.❞
  • ❝You are NOT driving like this!❞
  • ❝You are gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.❞
  • ❝Drinking until you puke is not normal.❞


  • ❝Is this real life?❞ 
  • ❝I want to go to sleep but I can’t find any sheep.❞
  • ❝How do you show fish affection?❞
  • ❝Taco Bell is open 24 hours, right?❞
  • ❝Tequila is not my friend? YOU’RE not my friend.❞
  • ❝Drunk I am not.❞
  • -glasses on head- ❝Where did I put my glasses?❞
  • ❝How do I tell my parents I’m a mermaid?❞ 
  • ❝I’m not even tired.❞
  • ❝I should call my ex.❞
  • ❝I’m not drunk enough for this.❞
  • ❝Does playing Mario Kart drunk count as drunk driving?❞
  • -hugging the floor- ❝I’m trying to stop the floor from spinning.❞
  • ❝Can we go out for fried chicken?❞


  • ❝What’s the fucking point anymore?❞
  • ❝Screw recovery. I want a drink.❞
  • ❝I’m too sober for this shit.❞ 
  • ❝I don’t give a shit what you think.❞
  • ❝I seriously don’t feel too good.❞
  • ❝I didn’t even have that much to drink.❞
  • ❝Will you stop fucking interrogating me?❞
  • ❝I can drive. I’m fine.❞
  • ❝There’s a reason I drink so much.❞
  • ❝You’re the reason I drink so much.❞
  • ❝I’m only happy when I’m drunk.❞


  • ❝You’re cute, you know that?❞ 
  • ❝You wanna get wasted?❞
  • ❝I’m bar-hopping tonight, wanna come?❞
  • ❝What are you drinking, and why aren’t you sharing?❞
  • ❝I’m having a party for two.❞
  • ❝You’re so hot.❞
  • ❝I’m usually too chicken-shit to say this, but…I really like you.❞
  • ❝I don’t want to kiss you with your alcohol breath.❞
  • *kisses on forehead*
  • *kisses on cheek*
  • *kisses on lips*

Animals are not decor, fish are not decoration, fish are not aesthetics, they are sentient beings that need proper care. 

Jars, flower base, “fish bowls” aren’t suitable homes for our aquatic friends, I know popular knowledge tells you betta fish are cheap, easy and can live in any thing with water, but this is animal abuse. 

Nobody is born knowing and it’s ok if you thought your little friend was gonna be happy in those conditions, BUT it’s now a responsibility, ignorance is not a sin, but if you know what your pet needs and you still don’t want to take proper care of them, you shouldn’t own one. Internet is a blessing and you can easily research about proper care, here are the basics: 

  • Betta Fish need at least 2.5 gallons,but the more the better. 
  • Betta Fish need a low or non flow filter, without this there could be dangerous amount of ammonia and waste in the water. 
  • Betta Fish need a heater, they do better in 74-81 °F   
  • Betta Fish need water conditioner, anti-stress 
  • One tank = One betta. 
  • Decoration: They need hideouts and plants, they can be live plants or silk plants, plastic can hurt their fins. 
  • They need a LID, they tend to jump. 

Fish are PETS, and NEED you to be responsible, it might be just a fish for you (I hope it’s not) but for them YOU are their entire world, our pets rely 100% in us, their health is a responsibility.

SNK Characters as. . . SPONGEBOB QUOTES

Eren Jaeger

“Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy!”

Mikasa Ackerman

“Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.”

Armin Arlert

“Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.”

Jean Kirstein

“A five letter word for happiness… money.”

Marco Bodt

“Am I a pretty girl?”

Annie Leonnhardt

“Can I be excused for the rest of my life?”

Reiner Braun

“Fine, I guess you’re gonna miss the… Panty Raid.”

Bertholdt Hoover



“Take it easy it’s just a drawing.”

Krista Lenz/Historia Reiss

“Ymir, go away! Can’t you see I’m trying to forget you?”

Sasha Blouse


Connie Springer

“East? I thought you said wheast.”

Erwin Smith

“Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.”

Levi Ackerman

“Hey pal. You just blow in from stupid town?”

Hanji Zoe

“Look at all the hip, young people eating sal…ads.”

Mike Zacharias

“Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells… Smelly.”

((At work need shit to do))

JM: does JK hate him, what is fan service & other random ramblings

Disclaimer: Once again, I think we should be able to discuss these things in constructive manner, so if you have anything to ask/add/correct, please do so but in polite manner with respect towards me, other users and the boys.

This is not about ships, but about individuals. I’m not trying to prove Jikook with this. Simply throwing my thoughts out there. I don’t claim to know anyone personally and all this is based on my personal observations. I could be completely wrong or get some bits right or somewhat accurate, who knows. Let’s discuss.

Also warning, this is almost 3000 words lol.

After reading my thoughts on JK someone asked me if I could share my opinions on JM as well. This is a bit all over the place and less focused than the JK one, so bear with me.

Keep reading


random phone screencaps of Lin in Do No Harm because I love this character a lot and he deserved so much better

Boku No Hero Academia Light Novel No.2 Translations

Commence Study Groups!

そろそろの勉強会: Chapter 1, Part 2 [click here for part 1] [Part 3]

(t/n: for some reason I found this quite hard to translate, but it was a quick short part before they switched back to yaomomo and gang, nonetheless enjoy the bakushima! p.s dont forget to read part 1!!! ^_^)

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1.“How did you managed to lose a thirty years old man in a supermarket?”

2.“Don’t you dare walk away from me!”

3.“You can’t live by quoting emo bands for the rest of your life”

4. “What’s up with her?”
“March 22”
“Oh God”

5. “Why would his husband kill him?”

6. “There’s no other way of making easy money. ”

“You never thought about prostitution, did you?”

7. “And she stole my last bit of–”

8. “I may be a hacker but I’m no murderer.”
“The term is hunter”
“Don’t correct me”

9. “I’m sorry but Obama’s not coming back”

10.“You don’t drown people in public pools”

11.“Can we pass today’s ‘How to be a murderer’ lesson?”

12.“He’s gonna be fine”
“You threw him in a well!”

13.“I haven’t slept in six months, do you really want to put up with me?”

14.“Go home, you’re drunk”

15.“Stop touching my hair!”
“But it’s so soft!”

16.“We’re not going to a church with you dressed like that”

17.“I never thought of reading The Bible but I might rethink this life choice. And all my other life choices. I think I’m going in existential crisis, bye”

18.“Hello, hello! Can you hear me?”
“Stop quoting Lana del Rey, for the love of God!”

19.“It’s only interesting if you’re talking about Fall Out Boy”

20.“I’m not high, I’m just really tired”
21.“Don’t broke into people’s houses!”
“How’d you got here again?”

22.“I may be dangerous but have you met my wife?”

23.“Are you silently judging me?”

“Of course not, if I judge people I’ll make sure they hear me”

24.“I’m scared of her.”
“She’s nineteen”
25.“Don’t yell at me! When people yell at me I start yelling at people and I’m not sure you want to hear a Romanian yelling at you!”

26.“You did what?”

27.“I’m not saying she’s a gold digger, I’m saying she’s a… power digger”

28.“Can you stop crying?”
“MCR broke up four years ago, what do you mean stop crying?”

29.“The bad guy’s in jail, my uncle is in the Hospital recovering and I finally got my cigarettes back”

30.“We found her playing guitar in a Devil’s Trap”

31.“I don’t react good after earthquakes and you know it!”

32.“Why do you have a photo of you in Nazi clothes?”

33.“I’m not saying you’re too old for the internet, I’m saying you’re too old to be cool on the internet.”

34.“Why is our sink made out of jelly and why is there orange juice instead of water?”

35.“You should really start packing your– Is that my laptop?”

36.“Is your brother in law seriously Satan?”

37.“Why do the Greek Gods have a restraining order against you?”

38.“What do you mean that’s not how to get tumblr popular?”

39.“Don’t listen to them, lyrics spam is always the answer.”

40.“How ‘bout you give up?”

I think it hit at the end

Sometimes I lose my appetite for days or weeks - even the foods I normally crave become as appealing as eating paper towels. It normally goes hand in hand with sensory issues with the food. These are some of the tricks I’ve learned to make sure I get enough nutrition anyway

  • The first and most important thing is you need to remember that eating anything is better than eating nothing. You may need to suspend your normal standards or rules - eating foods that are less “healthy" than normal, eating the same thing over and over gain, or just not enjoying your food as much.
  • Energy (calorie) dense foods like nuts or energy bars are really helpful, especially if the actual process of eating is unpleasant. Sometimes its really nice to be able to eat a meals worth of energy in under a minute
  • Chewing gum helps me get my appetite going - If I am trying to get myself hungry for a meal I will often start with gum 30-40 minutes before.
  • I rely a lot on eating a little of something I’m comfortable with to pique my appetite and moving to a different food group afterwards. Eating the first thing is always the hardest - I find after I start my brain realizes that food is ok and I can move onto larger portions or a different food.
  • When I eat something sweet I tend to crave more sugar later. So I use this to my advantage and have a small portion of something with some sugar in it and then wait to be hungry for more. Sometimes I will try to eat something a little more nutritious the second time, others I just have more of whatever was finally able to pique my interest
  • For the same reason consider other foods you find hard to put down. I’ve heard that things with both carbs and fat in them are the most “addictive” and I use that when I’m struggling to get enough to eat. It’s ok if this is a “junk” food - remember eating anything is better than eating nothing
  • Ginger tea or ginger chews make my stomach feel better
  • Keep track of your food. It can be really informal, like making sure you don’t skip meals, or it can be some other strategy of keeping a food journal or counting calories. You don’t need to be super precise, it just helps remind you to eat when your body isn’t sending the right signals
  • Look at “food porn.” Scrolling through a food blog you love on tumblr or watching a cooking show can be a good way to get your appetite going
  • Have a nutritional drink like an ensure can help you make sure you are getting all the nutrients you need without much thought. I find ensure is best very cold or on ice.
  • Look for foods or categories of foods that seem easier to tolerate than the others. This might be something you know is easy on your stomach, something of a certain texture, something hot/cold, or just a favorite food. 
  • If there is a food that you find less unappealing than the others, or feels “safe” to you go for it, even if you’ve eaten it many times in the last few days. I even find having eaten a food or meal in recent memory helps convince my body its not gonna be harmful
First Fight with Peter Parker (Headcanon)

i wrote this an hour ago and it fUCKING DELETED I’M SO MAD SO I HERE I AM REWRITING THIS FOR THE SECOND TIME MF! but any way, hope you all enjoy:) this is long asf whoops lol (GIF NOT MINE, CREDS TO OWNER)

a/n: my headcanons also tend to be situational?? like i mostly focus on one situation and with a lot of detail lmao. I know that’s not how it’s usually done but o well ya know!! i love u all and pls enjoy!


- “he’s with Liz”

- “he’s what?”

- you, ned, and peter were supposed to meet at 7 to work on a chemistry project 

- it was now 7:40

- and peter was a fucking nO SHOW

- your anger was already growing by the minute as you kept checking the clock with ned next to you

- “yeah I saw him exit the main entrance today with Liz. They were talking about Calculus?”

- your hand balled into fists as your eyes narrowed into slits

- you were pissed because it was a chemistry project, and peter was the fucking group leader, not because he had ditched his best friend and girlfriend to help Liz Allan with math

- that wasn’t it at ALL

- of course it fucking was

- “I’ll be back” you growled to ned, reaching for your phone and running out of the room into your living room

- zero missed calls

- head fucking ass

- you were going to kICK HIS ASS

- ned stayed silent in your room as he played on his phone 


- your fingers feverishly dialed peter’s number before forcefully slamming the phone against your ear

- “Hel-”


- “It’s-”

- “IT’S 7:45! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?” you screamed through the phone, your eyes narrowing into slits at him mentally through the phone

- “Well, I-uh, I-”

- is he serious?????

- “Be here in ten or we’re finished

- you were low key being a little extra but oh WELL

- he deserved it

- “Be there in ten!” he hollered semi-jokingly through the phone, attempting to brighten your mood

- you just growled before forcefully ending the call, throwing your phone onto the couch beside you

- you paced the living room floor as your arms were folded over your chest, thinking of every possible way you could interrogate his dumb ass

- if he looks good today, you’re fucking screwed

- lmao the doorbell rang five minutes later

- you stomp over and open your front door

- mother of fuck he looks good AS HELL


- ok tell your hormones to CHILL


- his bright brown eyes are filled with guilt as they look deeply into yours

- his little pink lips are turned down in a frown

- :(

- you’re still mad though

- “I’m sorry, babe” was the first thing to roll of his lips as he stared at you guiltily

- your hand is on your hip and your tongue is clicking the roof of your mouth in a sliver of patience

- but wait you were about to exPLODE


- lmao the SASS

- peter just sighed as he threw his backpack down and looked at you

- “I was just-”

- “HMMMMM????”

- “I’m so, so, so sorry I bailed on you and ned to help Liz…” he trailed off, biting his lip and looked down toward the floor

- he seemed so genuine and sweet and aw

- lol seemed

- you still narrowed your face towards his and pursed your lips tightly together

- “why’d you do it?” you question a but more sternly

- s m h

- peter looked back up and rolled his eyes at you???

- uhm sudden change of demeanor??

- “I didn’t think you’d be so fucking uptight about it!” he hollered, arms flying out by his sides to exaggerate his point


- you couldn’t believe your ears wOW

- “I’m sorry, what?” you spat, inching closer to him, your nose inches from his

- your glares were both darker than usual 

- suddenly you could cut the tension with a kNIFE

- “You’re acting like I did some horrific thing, Y/N!” he countered, eyes latching onto yours and daring himself not to break your gaze

- headass was about to get it!

- you squinted at him and scooted even closer, your lips ghosting over the other/s the tension building by the second

- “because peter, I’m your girlfriend. I have a right to know why you stood me up to go hang out with the most gorgeous girl in our fucking school goddammit!”

- oh no

- you hit homeboy right where his heart is

- he felt another sudden wave of guilt engulf him as you looked wearily into his eyes, your eyes never slacking but he could see your lips start to quiver at your anger

- now he feLT AWFUL

- he WAS a headass

- you stepped away, regret and exhaustion washing over your figure

- you threw your hands up, as if you were surrendering and rolled your eyes at Peter’s sudden guilt-stricken look once again

- good, you made him upset

- “you know what, it’s fine. I’m gonna go work on the project with ned and I’ll see you later”

- “Y/N don’t-”

- “no, peter! you had your chance and you ruined it!”

- you began to walk away, turning around to head back to your room and work on the project with the ned

- you then felt the familiar feeling of peter’s touch envelope your wrist as your body was suddenly jolted back towards the opposite direction

- “I’m sorry, beautiful. I’m sorry” peter hands cradled your cheeks as his forehead pressed against yours 

- yOUR HEART WAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- you sighed feeling his breath hit against your lips lightly as the energy and anger began to slowly fade

- “peter, just forget-”

- peter leaned forward and pressed his needy lips against yours, cutting you off

- the urge flooded through you as his thumb rubbed your cheek softly as he began to kiss you again, your thoughts completely vanishing


- he still a headass tho

- you pulled away and brought your hand up to play with his curls, his pink lips spreading into a smile

- “are you still gonna kick my ass?”

- you chuckled, smirking, “depends. Do you knew much of a headass you can be sometimes?”

- “indeed I do” he smiled, and leaned in for another kiss to seal the night:)))

- awWWwWW

- first fights were never easy

- but as long as peter knew you were always right, it would all end okay;)

TAG LIST:  @kaylaleslie1120 @alexelaineburke @5-seconds-of-sarcasmm@isnow-0r-never@samsfabuloushair @lunastarwatcher @2hip2bsquare@pixiedust-and-weasleys @jun-gle-cruise@i-survived-my-trip-to-nyc@rnayparker @lesilcar @tiny-friggin-human@psychael@newwholockian @over-et @captain-blossom @neewtmas @spider-quackson@maggie-starz @imsecretlyromanburki @curly-haired-crisp @happylittle-accidents @gaiasambuci @myfriendmagislit @celestiallstars @marvelsheroes @spookytom @homecomjng (if you are not tagged and would like to be comment below or ask to be added!!)

Cruel Brothers // Kim Yugyeom

Originally posted by datyugyummy

Pairing: Yugyeom x Reader (feat. Jaebum and Jackson)

Genre: Fluff, comedy, a little angst, some mentions of smut

Summary/Request: Jackson and Jaebum have always acted as if they were your big, overprotective brothers. So when they both walk in on you and Yugyeom in a very intimate position, things get a little tense!

*gif by datyugyummy*

Keep reading

Your favorite authors are being threatened...

…and no one wants to take it seriously. (by me, a RQ blog)

Earlier this morning, various threats to beloved NYT bestselling authors like Victoria Aveyard, Leigh Bardugo, and Cassandra Clare came into the light on Twitter.

It started with NYT bestselling author of the Red Queen series, Victoria Aveyard ( @vaveyard ) retweeting this photo of a threat she had received in hopes of getting Twitter to do something about the threat (this is not the first time she has been threatened/harassed on the website)

*the second photo is not Aveyard, she was not physically hurt

Aveyard’s response: “Well at least now we all know what to do. Torn bc they clearly want the attention but I also want this recorded and seen. Blegh. No apologies necessary, guys. The fault is not with us. Twitter needs to do better to protect users from serial harassers. This bleeds into the issues with stan twitter. We get threats like this, be they real or “jokes.” We can’t differentiate. We don’t know you. You can’t support women defending against their harassers while also perpetuating a culture of harassment for your own entertainment. We see you making snide jokes about our weight and our worth and our humanity so you can giggle with each other. It’s not great but okay. But a direct threat? Come on. You can’t do that & cry abuse when the person you are threatening to harm responds. Twitter isn’t a vacuum.“

Twitter took awhile to suspend the account, and at first notified Aveyard that “there was no violation of Twitter’s Rules regarding abusive behavior” which led to many fans reporting the account even more and tweeting at Twitter directly to provide better care against threats. 

Aveyard’s final response to fans: “Again, account finally suspended. But the person is just going to make another. Thanks for all the reporting, people. It means a lot.”

Aveyard later was defending fellow author Leigh Bardugo ( @lbardugo ),  NYT bestselling author of Six of Crows, Crooked Kingdom, and the Grisha trilogy, after ‘fans’ claimed Bardugo would “come after [them] with her cane”

Aveyard’s response: “Not interested in calling out people but definitely want to highlight how ugly this behavior is. What is the goal here? Where is your shame? …can we just acknowledge there is something incredibly broken if anyone thinks this is acceptable?”

Bardugo herself responded to the multiples claims on herself and other fellow authors about the ridiculousness of the level of harassment and how it indeed must be taken seriously, as well as why the authors are rightfully concerned.

Bardugo’s response: “This is some spectacular gaslighting. Let me explain the difference since you guys are creating false equivalences… and I do this knowing that there’s no way to “win.” You guys have decided that somehow, by calling out a vile threat, we’re the bullies. What were the consequences to the OP? She told an author “big b*tch, I’m coming for you” then threatened to corner her at Bookcon & beat her. A whole lot of people had to say, “Even if you’re joking, this isn’t okay.” Aside from just being cruel and ott… We have no way of knowing if it’s a credible threat, if the person is unwell and actually dangerous, or just a kid who thinks it’s funny. We have no way of recognizing that person or persons at a huge conference event with fairly lax security. I take no joy in making a kid feel bad, but that kid came with a lot nasty vitriol and you guys thought it was HILARIOUS. Zero empathy. If you think me walking around Bookcon with my cane is A THREAT and not, y'know, a way for me not to tip over… I’m not sure there’s anything more to say. I told Cassie I had her back and made a LoTR reference. Pretending you think it was a threat… God this is tiresome. If you don’t like me, if you think I might wield my mighty cane against you, I’m super easy to avoid. For one thing, I can’t run very fast #criplife. For another, you know what I look like and where I’m gonna be. I don’t have that advantage. And honestly, I shouldn’t have to spell this out. I want to be excited about Bookcon, about meeting readers… Not somehow having to explain how I have the right to defend myself or my friends if I’m VIOLENTLY ATTACKED… I’m sorry for the negativity. I know it’s a tiny fraction of the community who think this stuff is okay.“  

Cassandra Clare ( @cassandraclare ), NYT bestselling author of the Mortal Instruments was threatened by more than 3 accounts with tweets suggesting she would be cornered and beaten up at future book signings (referenced by Bardugo above).

Clare’s response: “A few people have asked me if I’m looking for tweets about this whole BEA/threats situation. I’m not, but of course my friends/agent/publisher are. This is a really serious situation. No one I work with think specific threats to beat the fuck out of him in a place I WILL be, is funny or a joke. I don’t go looking - seeing negativity online is nothing I enjoy. But I do get sent links because no one is invisible on the internet. I think there’s an idea that threats, etc are not threats if the intention was that they not be seen. And the argument that threats are "fan language” - no one has a lock on specific kinds of violent threats. Whatever the source we have to take them all equally seriously… I hope it doesn’t take authors getting hurt physically (more than they already have) for this kind of thing to stop being ‘funny.’“

An exchange between Bardugo, Clare, and a few random ‘fans’ pointed out some were annoyed at the authors for coming to social media about the threats

After all three bouts occurred, Aveyard retweeted the following message from  Brittany Cavallaro, NYT bestselling author of A Study in Charlotte and The Last of August.

Cavallaro’s response: "Ultimately, what’s gained by threatening authors online and at events, at assuming that a small window into their lives via Twitter…or that you ‘know them’ because of their books and so have the right to harass them or push into their personal lives…the end result is that you’ll lose that access. Authors will not do events. Will leave social media. Will take themselves away… Because right now, I’m definitely not writing. I’m reporting trolls and wondering how it came to this, why some readers think it’s okay.”

Queen Aveyard gave some notable responses to a few rude tweets about the whole fiasco:

As for Twitter and neutral fans who do not see these as actual threats, please realize that these beautiful authors are real people. Words hurt, sure, but seeing things like this can be terrifying, whether they’re real or not, it means someone at least thought about it, and you never know what can break someone. Not to mention that responses like this are caused by such silly things as who an author writes as a canon ship? That is utterly ridiculous and unacceptable. 

 Authors are now wanting to leave social media and seriously reduce the amount of response time to fans because of bad apples like these. Do not be one of these fake fans. The books that they write belong to them. They come from their imagination and expertise. It is their job and passion to give us these stories. We need to find stories we like to love and be okay with stories that don’t go the way we planned because they are not our stories. Threatening an author is never an okay route to go to get what you want. Turn those angry fingers to watt pad and write your own stories instead of pushing authors away from the internet. 

you know, it’s easy to tell others to leave people who hurt them. it’s easy to look at it panned out and pretty from an outsider’s perspective and realize how much pain somebody can bring for someone else. but it’s so much harder to tell when you’re actually the person in that snow globe for everyone to see, you’re saying, no, but they’re not always like that, no, but we have better memories than this, no, but i think they mean it when they say they’re not gonna do it again this time. and you never would’ve thought you’d be in this position, conflicted and frustrated and muffled behind glass. you never would’ve thought you’d be so blind and so refusing and so wrong even when everyone else can see it.

"Mrs.no ones ever made me cum."

Originally posted by metal-armed-jesus

Sum: you are working in the tower as the housekeeper and are good friends with Natasha and Wanda and talk about your last few sexual encounters when your crush Bucky walks in and hears one of your biggest secrets.  

Warning: smut, fluff, vulgar language

   You walked in the tower with your favorite cup of coffee in hand. lets just say after the night you have had you really needed that cup of coffee. last night you had gone on the absolute worst date of your entire life. Your body was screaming in pain. It was like your whole body was sore. 

   I walked into the tower and wet for the elevator. “Welcome yo work Y/N! you have been successfully clocked in.” F.R.I.D.A.Y said through the elevator speakers. “thanks.” I said back to It as the elevator finally reached my floor. the doors opened and I headed towards my office. when I walked in the closed the door and walked right to my desk to sit down. “owe…” I huffed in pain. I groaned and put my head down on the desk. “I really want to just go home and go the fuck to sleep today is not the day.” I said aloud as I sat up, groaned in pain again, and unlocked my desktop. being the head of housekeeping all I really have to do is make the room list for the housekeepers and check and make sure all of the rooms have been cleaned correctly. it was the easiest high paid job ever. but still, I did not want to fucking be here. I quickly checked the computer for dirty rooms added them to lists for each house keeper we had that day and printed the lists out. I folded them in half and slid them on to each housekeepers clipboards. I wrote the names on each board and leaned back and sighed. “shit that took a lot out of me.” I said and stood up. I gulped the last few sips of my coffee down and walked outside of my office to post the housekeeping boards up. 

   when I finished posting the boards I was about to just go in my office and just nap on the couch in there but Wanda met me in the hall. “Good morning!” she said smiling at me. her face fell when she looked up at me. “What happened last night?” she asked. I through my head back and sighed loudly. “oh my god. come up to our floor, ill grab Natasha and you can make yourself a cup of coffee in the kitchen.” she said I nodded and followed her up. 

   I ended up on the couch on the avengers floor in there living area. “alright totally spill.” Nat said satcastically ,sitting on her knees on top of  pillow in front of me. I sighed and put my head in my hands. “it was with the guy Bryan.” I said Wanda nodded. “ is that the guy that works at the gas station. or the guy that you met at the mall?” Nat asked. “The one from the mall.” I said she nodded 

   I had been dating a few different guys lately. My crush on the winter soldier was too depressing and I was sick of being alone. I really wanted to put myself out there. I had a really bad break up with my ex of 2 years Zach and I needed to be with other people. The guy Bryan was the 5th guy I have tried dating since Zach. Zach and I met in high school and dated off and on and then started officially dating through college. We lost our virginity’s to each other. through the course of our whole relationship the sex… it just never got any better. Well at least for me it didn’t. I had him cuming every night. but for me. I guess he just wasn’t working for me. at one point in the relationship I thought it was me. I thought maybe my body just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t finish. I just over all couldn’t cum. that was until I finally ‘found myself’. find myself, as in I used my own hand. if I could get myself there and he couldn’t after 4 years of being involved with each other…. it wasn’t the only reason we broke up but it was one of the main ones.

  we had been sitting in the living are for about an hour now talking about my other few encounters when some of the other avengers came in the room. “okay so tell us about the date.” Wanda said I looked down and I could feel my cheeks heating up. Nat laughed “was it really that bad?” she asked as Steve and Bucky sat on the couch across from us. “Yess just awful. its like I’m cursed. I mean I asked the universe for a tall, built, man and it gave me one. just…not one that could do anything.” I said crossing my legs “ so you guys had sex?” Nat asked from the corner of my eyes I saw both Buck and Cap’s eyes shoot over to us. I rolled my eyes they were totally listening in. I nodded in response to Nat. “ And he was no good?” Wanda asked. I nodded again. “oh my god absolutely awful!” I said. they laughed “What happened on the date?” Wanda asked. I sighed and blushed again “well I kind of lied about the date part. I kinda just called him for sex.” Nat’s jaw dropped “oh my god Really? “ she asked I nodded “I cant believe Y/N Y/L/N actually called a guy for sex.” I rolled my eyes and sighed “I was horny and it wasn’t like anyone here was gonna whip it out for me.” I said argued “ what did you guys do?” Wanda asked Nat nodded “yea what made it bad?” she asked I sighed and closed my eyes for a second. “Well I had asked to Netflix and Chill so we went back to his apartment. we put on Archer and we were sitting there. he creeped his hand up my leg so I just went ahead and started kissing him. everything was going good till we got our clothes off.” I said squeezing my eyes shut trying really hard not to remember that night. they laughed “What did he have a small dick or something?” Wanda asked I shook my head at her. 

   “No he just…it was like he had never heard of foreplay. like he immediately started trying to fuck me. I was just there like… are you serious. like we got our clothes off he got me on my back and he went ahead and lifted my legs up. at first I thought he was gonna eat me out first so I was chill but then I felt him rub up against me and then I was like Oh okay. then, if you can believe it, he looked annoyed when it wasn’t easy for him to slide in.” I said taking a sip of my coffee. “Like he was pissed you weren’t wet?” Nat asked I nodded. “ I was like, are you kidding? how are you going to be pissed at me for you not being able to turn me on. it was like Zach all over again just black.” I said they gasped. “He was a black guy?” they asked “yea you should have seen him. I would show you a picture but I already deleted all of them. and his number. I am never seeing that guy again.” I said there eyes widened. “What happened after he looked pissed?” they asked I sighed “he pushed me back up and licked me. just one swipe up my labia. its like he didn’t even know what a clit is. you should have seen the size of his tongue too. I mean he had a big dick and a tongue that looked like it didn’t need any help at all getting to the center of a tootsie pop.” they laughed “but no joke, one swipe up and we were fucking. just in and out in and out. he wasn’t even hitting anything. at one point I was finally on top. so I had all the control and I mean at least I would be able to get myself off somewhat but he fucking flipped us back over.” I said and closed my eyes. my body shocked a little at the memory and pain engulfed my body for a minute when I flinched to the shock. “and then it happened.” I said holding my fist up to my face. “What?” they asked in anticipation “ I don’t know it was on purpose, or an accident but he slipped….in the wrong hole” I said in a whisper. “WHAT NOOO!” Nat screamed laughing. I laid my head back against the couch and closed my eyes for a minute. “what happened?” Wanda asked still slightly giggling. “ I fucking screamed and pushed away from the guy. he fucking looked at me and was like ‘you need a break?’” I said mimicking his deep voice. “do I need a break? do I need a break? literally. like he didn’t hear me just fucking scream in pain. I wanted to fucking punch the guy.” I said looking at them “Why didn’t you? you clearly didn’t consent to being…anally penetrated.” Nat said seriously. Wanda giggled I nodded “yea I know. I just told him that I should leave and put my clothes on and practically ran out of his apartment building. he texted me and asked me if I did anything wrong. I just told him to forget I was even there and to fucking delete my number. he asked why and if he did something wrong. I texted him again and told him to just fucking forget it. he hasn’t replied. and my whole body is in pain. seriously its like he broke something inside me or something. it hurts to walk.” I told them Nat looked down at my feet “that’s why your not wearing heels today?” she asked I nodded and said “Ding ding ding!” 

   “I am so sorry.” Wanda said patting my leg from where she sat beside me. “Sorry for what?” I asked. she brushed her hair behind her shoulder and spoke again. “Well all your bad experiences. I mean what you have slept with how many men now? and you still cant find one that can get you there.” she said I sighed and nodded “Wait what do you mean?” Nat asked I looked down at her and rested my arms on my legs “No one has ever been able to make me cum Nat, you know this.” I said as something fell on the floor making a loud crashing sound. I turned around to see Bucky in the kitchen cleaning up a broken glass plate. I rolled my eyes. “Right right. I thought that guy from the gas station?” she asked I shook my head “No…no he was bad too just not as bad as the fucking dude who shoved it up my fucking ass. like my whole body is on fire. it hurts just to sit here and talk with you guys. like I really don’t want to finish my shift.” I said she laughed a little. “So what are you going to do then?” Nat asked I looked around “Well I mean I’m right back to square one. I just gotta find another guy. shit or a girl cuz I mean at this point if no man can make me cum maybe I should try and fuck a girl. I mean at least they know what a fucking clitoris is.” I said covering my face with my hand. I stood up “I’m gonna go and check rooms super fast so I can sit the fuck back down.” I said straightening out my clothes and walking towards the elevator. “By babe!” they said as I walked out. I waved. 

    I had gone back to my office to print out my list of rooms to check. I jumped from floor to floor checking rooms when I stumbled upon Bucky’s room. I knocked before swiping my key card and walked in. “Bucky?” I asked and walked through his room. I checked his kitchen first. I made sure he had kitchen towels and walked through to his living room and dining room. I walked over to his bedroom door and opened it to see Bucky In just a towel.my mouth dropped open and I turned around. I couldn’t help thinking about the water droplets that were running down his toned chest. “I am so Sorry!” I said he laughed “don’t be. I knew you were coming.” he said I jumped a little when I felt his hand touch my arm. he knew I was coming… what “what?” I asked he turned me around, shut his door bedroom door and pushed me up against it, his body was upagainst my back and my front was against his door. The house list and pen fell to the floor completely forgotten. My mind ran a mile a min. what was going on? what was he doing? is this some kind of joke? “so your making fun of me because no one has ever made me cum aren’t you?” I asked I felt him freeze. “no of course not.” he said turning my body around to face him. his front pressed to mine. A familiar warm sensation formed in between my legs. even if this was a joke I could cross Bucky pressing me up against a wall off my bucket list.

   He held his hand up to cup my face and he looked me in the eye. “I would never make fun of you…I..I’m sorry the girls put me up to this. Wanda thought you were into me. I’m sorry I thought…” he stammered and backed away from me. “Wanda and Natasha? what?” I asked as he backed up to sit on his bed. “they told me you liked me too. I believed them, they told me to just wait for you to check my room and take you. I feel so stupid.” he said my eyes went wide and my jar dropped to the floor.  “they told you about my Crush?” I said closing my eyes and turning around so I didn’t have to face him. my face was hot from embarrassment. I cant believe they told him. why would they tell him if they knew he didn’t like me too. Wait! What? I turned around to look at him. he was standing now right in front of me only inches away from my face. “you do like me!” he stated grabbing my hip. “I have wanted you since that first day I walked in on you cleaning Starks office.” he said closing the space between us. 

  when his lips touched mine everything had fallen into place. I had no idea he had liked me. “if I knew you were into me I would have never let you give yourself to all of those men.” he said against my lips as my hands rubbed against his bare chest. “if I knew you liked me I probably would have cum along time ago.” I said pushing him back down on the bed. he smirked at me. “oh, I’m gonna make you cum!” he said confidentially flipping us over. I giggled as his towel fell from his waist. “you like what you see?” he asked throwing the towel off the bed. I nodded and laughed “I have always liked.” I responded grabbing on to his metal arm. he smiled at me as his hands made there way up my shirt. I shivered and lifted my hands so he could lift the shirt over my head. he cupped my lace covered boobs and kissed me hard. “you have no idea how long I have wanted this… wanted you.” he sad against my lips. “this needs to go.” he said pulling my pencil skirt down my legs. “oh my god I cant believe this is happening. I mean I’m still clocked in Bucky. what if Mr.Stark…” he cut me off with a laugh. “its always good to have fun on the job.” he said kissing up my leg. I held my breath. this is usually the part when they kiss me and try to shove it in. I flinched when his fingers found there way in my undies. he stopped his movements. “Don’t you Dare Stop!” I said he laughed and pulled them down my legs. he brought his hand back up to me and softly pinched my clit. I jumped as heat shot straight to core. oh my god is he actually gonna touch me? he pulled up and crawled back up my body and kissed me then lined himself up at my entrance. I sighed and closed my eyes. disappointed yet again. 

   “I’m just fucking with you!” he laughed going back down on me. “thank god. I was getting ready to think the winter soldier had no game at all.” I said he laughed “Listen Doll, I’ve got game!” he said I gave him a look “oh ya? what are you gonna do with those metal fingers of yours then? if our winter soldier has got so much game.” I teased. seconds later I swallowed my words as his fingers were in me already curling and pumping in and out. I let out a high pitched moan. I looked down at him. He was smiling up at me mischievously. “After this, there won’t be a doubt in your mind.” He said licking his lips and kissing in between my thighs. His fingers danced in me. My down thrashed around and wetness pooled out of me and all over his hand. “Damn doll. You weren’t wet for him but you’re sure as hell wet for me. You want me to make you cum with my metal fingers, baby? Make you cum like no man has ever done before?” He said while kissing up my body his hand still at work. I moaned in response as sloshy wet sounds got louder and louder. He kissed and sucked at my breasts leaving large purple hickeys every place his mouth touched. I was a moaning mess when he made his way up my neck. His thumb tapped my clit. I whined “if you don’t answer me i won’t let you cum.” He whispered slowing his movements. I whined again and spoke “p-please make me cum bucky. Please!” I begged. He chuckled in my ear and came up to kiss my lips before leaving me and kissing down my chest again. A serious of sounds left my mouth as i grabbed a hold on his hair with shaky hands. I fisted my hand in his hair. Knoting it with my fingers and tried to push his head where i wanted it. “Do you want my tongue?” He asked. I nodded my head fiercely. “Hhummm?” He asked i closed my eyes as a broken moan left my lips. His cold metal fingers curling and hitting my spot over and over. “YES please….BUCKY!” I screamed as his mouth replaced his thumb on my clit. “Ooohh myy godd” i moaned as he sucked on my clit hard. I threw my head back and my legs began to shake. Buckys free hand snaked up my body to grip my breast and pinch my nipple. I guess that did it. My eyes rolled back, my back arched, and i screamed loudly as i came hard. My body shook fiercely as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of me riding me through my high. When my breath finally slowed and my vision was returning i looked down at him as his tongue lapped up and down my slit cleaning me up. My mouth hung open as he climbed back up my body and spread my legs. “What? Did you think we were finished?” He said kissing me. I moaned again as he stretched one of my legs up and over his shoulder. He pressed the other down on my bed. He’s lucky I’m flexible. He rubbed my sensitive clit a few more times before looking into my eyes. “Im gonna take you to dinner tonight.” He said i looked at him surprised. He caress my cheek and looked me in the eye as he slowly pushed into me. I gasped and lifted my hand up to keep a tight hold on his neck. “D-dinner?” I asked wondering how he went from hott to sweet in seconds. I moaned as his slid all the way in and stayed there for a moment before moving. “Dinner date. Be my girl? This is probably the worst time to say this, but Doll I love you. I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend.” He said starting a slow pace in and out of me. My eyes widened as i realized this really wasn’t just a quick fuck. He was making love to me and confessing his love for me all at the same time. I couldn’t even think. I wanted to say i loved him back but i ended up saying. “"You have been in love with me this whole time? While i have been trying to get over you by being with others?” I closed my eyes. That fact just made me want to cry. He looked at we with worry all over his face. “I feel like i’ve cheated on you.” I said he shook his head and brought his hand up to cup my face. “If you will be mine, ill forget about those other men.” He said softly. “Of course ill be yours. I never loved any of those guys any way. Not like how i love you!” He smiled wide. We stayed in that same still position looking into each others eyes till i finally spoke again. “great time to tell me you love me. While your buried balls deep in my pussy.” I joked he smiled and kissed me. “Shut up mrs.no one has ever made me cum.” He said. I rolled my eyes “no someone’s made me cum before.” I said he gave me a questioning look. “In fact I’m trying to cum again by him right now but hes too busy confessing his love for me.” I said it was his turn to roll his eyes. “Shut up and ride me.” He said flipping us over. “Yes sir!” I said straddling his waist and resting my hands on his chest before sinking down on him. “oooohhh…my god!” I moaned “god you have to have the biggest dick I have ever…” I started but let out a shriek as he thrust up hard. “Damn Right!” he said gripping my hips tightly and helping me slam down on him. I moaned again and leaned down to kiss him. my breast pressed against his chest while my lower body did all the work. “sit up a little bit.” I said and he sat up and wrapped is arms around me completely. holding me to his chest as I bounced down on him.” God Y/N you feel so good.” Bucky moaned as I held onto Bucky’s shoulder blades. my clit rubbed against Bucky’s lower stomach as his thick cock stretched me out. “Fuck baby I cant last much longer.” he said biting down on my shoulder. “just a few more seconds!” I said grinding down on him as hard and as fast as I could. My legs started to shake again. I sighed in relief and moaned “Yes Yes Yes!” I cant believe this is really happening. I’m fucking Bucky and hes actually making me cum. “C-can I cum in you” Bucky asked. I laughed as I came. “you made me Cum Bucky, Twice. you can cum wherever you want!” I said my body shaking hard against him. Bucky moaned loudly as his Hott Cum shot in me. it sent another wave of pleasure through me and I moaned again. “Fuck!” I said grinding on him a few more times before pushing him back down to lay on top of him. 

  “God Doll, you are…fucking. God love you!” he said sliding out of me. I rolled over next to him. I rested my hand on his sweaty chest and looked up at him. “ I love you too.” I said resting my head on a pillow and closing my eyes. “SHIT!” I said shooting up and scrambeling around the room to find my clothes. “What..What?” he asked. “I’m still on the clock!” I shrieked pulling my skirt on. “Going comando?” he asked smirking at me. I smiled and threw my thong at him. “keep em!” I said finding my shirt and bra and putting them on. I grabbed my shoes and ran towards the door. “Ill Pick you up at 8!” Bucky yelled as I ran out the door.

Here I thought ok firewood must be an easy quick thing to make but nope

9 hours to cut wood

120 pieces of wood when there’s clearly 7 pieces pictured?

This is clearly the laziest ripoff scheme. I am basically paying this alpaca man 2,010 bells and extra wood he’s not gonna use to rip me off

You would think for 9 hours and 120 pieces of wood I would get at least a fourth of a cord

but no it’s like the saddest excuse of a wood pile I’ve ever seen

anonymous asked:

i love how you draw the squip.. he looks so much like keanu reeves.. :3

Thank you!
This is actually a good chance for something I wanted to tell.
In the first studies of the SQUIP I did, I tried to draw Keanu Reeves but I HATED IT

I don’t like this at all and had a really hard time just to draw him twice, how could I use him in an entire animatic???

So I thought screw it, I’m gonna make my version so it will be easy to draw.
And I doodled this

But a young face doesn’t really match with the SQUIP voice so I used some of the features of one of my old ocs, this guy below (his name is Eugene, just to put it out there)

I rarely draw older guys with beards so what you see in the SQUIP I took it mostly from him.
And so I tried and ended up with this

BUT because I can’t draw on pc the same way as on paper, the final face is the one you see in the video “the SQUIP enters” kinda mixes both my oc and the last drawing

Now I draw him with his front hair down because the hair “antennae” is Jeremy’s thing.

So yeah, when someone says he looks like Keanu I’m always surprised.

Rotten Judgement - part 3

AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Hercules!AU After selling your soul to save your lover’s life, you become one of the Lord of the Underworld’s slave. Bucky is obsessed with one thing: collecting hearts. But why?

Word Count:1,564

Warnings: Language, Angst, Slaves, Shape-shifting, Mythology, Jealousy…

A/N: Thank you for the lovely comments and replies ♥ I hope you guys like this chapter.

Rotten Judgement - Masterpage

A couple of weeks after the incident in the alley, you stood in line at Starbucks. While you waited, you glanced around the coffee shop. It was a typical busy day and the place was packed. You pulled out your phone and scrolled through your news feed to pass the time. Your eyes widened when you saw the headline.

“Notorious criminal dubbed ‘Crossbones’ found dead in cell.”

When the barista called your name, you snapped back to attention. You took your coffee and found a table near the front door. You set your cup and purse down on the table and read the article. The last sentence sent a chill down your spine.

Keep reading


N a d a l i n d  -  Adalind Schade x Nick Burkhardt 

Grimm 6 x 04

I am so happy to be back here with you. - Adalind  

Yeah. Me too. - Nick