i thought that was so funny and so telling

So what did Ron used to feed Pettigrew when he was a rat? Pellets? Lettuce? fruit & grains based diet? He was described as a fat rat. He got fat on grains, fruits and veggies?? 

I have so many questions

Please tell me he just happened to love the pellets lol

[Trans] Jelly Magazine - July 2017

☆ trans: cheneunim

Q: Out of the three, who is the most trustworthy member?
B & C: The oldest hyung, Xiumin hyung!
X: For me, also me!
B: Xiumin hyung also knows restaurants well. He orders food quickly… lastly, he knows what to order for us.

Q: Out of the three, who is the most courageous and cool member?
X: I think it’s me!
B: No! It’s me!! I look really cool when playing games.
C: Xiumin hyung is a manly person who’s strong-minded.
X: That’s correct!
B: Also, Xiumin hyung is the type who can plan on his own. He’s manly and feels like an adult. Chen can also be by himself so he’s manly and cool.

Q: Tell something you find cute about the members.
B: Xiumin hyung has a cat. He is very attached to his cat. I’m not sure if Xiumin hyung is raising the cat or the cat is raising Xiumin hyung. (laughs) When he’s taking care of the cat, he never leaves home. It’s really cute how he cares for the cat all day.
X: It’s cute when Baekhyun uses casual language with me, saying “Ya!” or taking out the title ‘형’ (hyung).
B: Of course, that’s my endearment to you.

Q: If you can explain shortly a member’s personality.
B: Baekhyun is like a 'Happy Virus’ who can make those around him happy. He’s versatile and has good sense… He’s good in everything, except sports.
B: (laughs) Still, I can snowboard and know how to play pool, too!
C: But you can’t run, right? Your running form looks weird so it’s very awkward!
B: There was this scene that I shot before, Xiumin hyung and Chen said “Haven’t you ever run in your whole life before this?”
X: Still, Baekhyun is good at gaming, singing and impersonating, so it’s really fun with him around. In EXO, his existence is important.
C: Without Baekhyun, maybe EXO would have been a boring group.
B: Yes, yes. That’s right, correct. (laughs)

Q: Who is the funniest out of the three?
X & C: Baekhyunnie!!
B: Hmm… So it’s me. (laughs)
B: Sometimes, there’re so many funny things going inside my head that I wonder to myself “Ya~ How could I have thought of such a funny idea?”. I’m surprised by my sense. It’s inborn.
X: But there’s a drawback. If he chatters too much, you have to grab him by the nape to stop him.

Q: Is there one thing you want to fix about a member?
X: Yes, I’ll tell Baekhyun.
B: I knew it’d be me…
X: I hope he gets up faster.
B: I have 15 minutes to get ready before going out. But I take 20 minutes to prepare.
X: During that 5 minutes, everyone is waiting. It’s not that he can’t wake up, he won’t wake up.
C: He’ll say “I won’t get up!”. He will stubbornly not get up. (laughs)
B: I’ll talk too! Actually these two didn’t know how to play pool. But they are getting better lately. I hope they don’t get any better.
X & C: Booo~

10

IGN: Clarke and Lexa’s kiss was obviously a very important scene for a lot of reasons. How much discussion was there going into it and how much talk about the way you wanted to play it?

Debnam-Carey: It’s funny, because it was sort of one of those things that people kept telling us… Maybe sly comments along the way or something suggested in earlier scripts, but Eliza and I never really thought it would [happen], so when we read the script, we were like, “Oh, okay. It’s really happening! Okay, cool.” I think we thought that it just happens suddenly, so soon, but I think that’s what makes it so lovely as well, is that it’s this passion and this desire and this solace that they find in each other, which is so lovely. I think it is something so different and unique for a lot of teen shows and I love that we can represent a broad variation of people on this show.

101 Writing Prompts

1. “I didn’t know you two were related.” “We didn’t either.”

2. “I’m not saying I’m gay, but I would be if they were asking.”

3. “I’ve tried my hardest to fall for you, but it’ll always be them.”

4. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before.”

5. “I didn’t even want to come to this party. You lied to me about the pinata.”

6. “Spin the bottle is such a cliché. I’m in.”

7. “I have to go in there with you? I didn’t sign up to play 7 minutes in hell .”

8. “That’s not how you pronounce my name and I’m not even sure you tried.”

9. “Are you new here?” “We’ve been in the same math class for six years.”

10. “You really shouldn’t touch that… I told you.”

11. “I recognise you. Do you have a dog.”

12. “ You’ve never seen Harry Potter?

13. “Can’t we just lay here for a minute?”

14. “We have to stop running into each other like this.”

15. “Is it weird if I say that your dad’s really hot?”

16. “I know it’s 2am but can we meet up?”

17. “I don’t know how we ended up sleeping together but I know I’m mad about it.”

18. “Whatever you do, just don’t tell anybody!”

19. “I don’t come here often, it brings back unwanted memories.”

20. “They told me I’d forget about you; that I’d move on but it’s been three years and here I am.”

21. “I’ve waited so long for this moment, but now it’s here I don’t know how to feel.”

22. “You can’t just say that and then disappear!”

23. “I always hear my neighbour playing this beautiful music, but I’ve never actually met them.”

24. “Would it be alright if I pet your dog?”

25. “I’m so sorry to bother you this late but an owl got in my house and I have no idea how to get it out.”

26. “We can’t call the police! They’ll never believe us!”

27. “Why are you buying plane tickets? Are you leaving?”

28. “I swear I’ve seen them before in a dream.”

29. “I don’t want to be your partner either but we have to get this assignment done.”

30. “I never hated you, you just make me feel things I don’t understand.”

31. “It’s your fault, and I don’t think this is something you can fix.”

32. “This isn’t easy for me either.”

33. “I would never do this to you if I didn’t have to. You know that, right?”

34. “Can you at least promise me that?” “I don’t think I can, not this time.”

35. “I’m sorry but it’s very hard to focus when you’re dressed like that.”

36. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard to you want me to hit you?”

37. “I’d be scared if I were you.”

38. “You can’t go in there alone .”

39. “This seems like a lot of effort to go to for a mediocre joke.”

40. “Delete that picture right now or Mr.Snuggles gets it!”

41. “You didn’t go through my photos did you?!”

42. “Uhhh, I went through your photos and I have some questions.”

43. “I swear to god, if you tag me in one more bad meme I’ll make you regret it.”

44. “I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more.”

45. “You have individual ringtones for everyone? What’s mine?”

46. “ Why wouldn’t you lock the door?

47. “Did you know kissing burns calories?” “I’m happy with my weight, thanks.”

48. “Your bad pickup lines aren’t cute, they’re just bad.”

49. “I’ll give you fifty bucks if I can take you to Christmas dinner and tell my family we’re together. They always ask if I’m dating and I can’t have that conversation again.”

50. “I don’t think you’re ever too old for trick-or-treating.”

51. “We’re dressing up for Halloween this year and that’s final.”

52. “I forgot what we were fighting about in the first place.” “I didn’t.”

53. “Fuck you.” “Not with that attitude.”

54. “90% of people admit to having at least a slight bondage kink, and 10% are lying about it.”

55. “I don’t understand why you won’t just use a map on your phone.”

56. “You know my house has a door? You don’t always have to use the window.”

57. “The truth is, my friends dared me to ask you out, but I’m really glad they did.”

58. “You know, I was joking in that birthday card when I said I’d help you hide a body.”

59. “Can we please turn off this song.” “But it’s a masterpiece .”

60. “I’ve known you for two years and I think I’ve been saying your name wrong the whole time.”

61. “Wow, you really are blind!” “Thanks for the update, can I have my glasses back now?”

62. “It might be petty but you borrowed my pencil three weeks ago and I’m gonna need it back.”

63. “I think they have a crush on you, which sucks because I’m kinda into them.”

64. “Just go and talk to them, they dont bite!” “What if biting turns me on? If they dont do it then what’s the point?”

65. “You can’t say that in front of children!”

67. “Seven years old is practically an adult.”

68. “Dude I ordered this on eBay and you have to see what they sent me.”

69. “I didn’t realise it meant so much to you.”

70. “I wish I was sorry, but I don’t regret any of it.”

71. “My friend thinks you’re cute, personally I don’t get it but this isn’t about me right now.”

72. “Not everything is about you!” “Untrue.”

73. “You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

74. “This is why I hate family dinners! It always gets awkward.”

75. “This can only end two ways and neither of them are pretty.”

76. “Not everything can be butterflies and rainbows! Things get hard sometimes, that’s just how it is!”

77. “My mom told me I shouldn’t talk to strangers, and you’re definitely strange.”

78. “I can’t believe you fell asleep when I was showing you my favourite movie of all time.”

79. “You shouldn’t be out here alone, it’s dangerous.”

80. “I could lie here with you forever. I wish I didnt have to leave.”

81. “Everything’s changing and I hate it! I liked the way things were.”

82. “You look so incredible, if that didn’t look so good on you I’d probably tear it off.”

83. “Do you think they noticed that we left?”

84. “The funny thing is, you could have fixed this and you didn’t even try.”

85. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I’m only asking because it hurt when I did and I thought I might have done it wrong.”

86. “That was super cheesy and I’m lactose intolerant.”

87. “You didn’t tell me you were gay!” “You didn’t tell me you weren’t.”

88. “Your friend told me you had a crush on me, I just wanted to let you know your friend is a snake.”

89. “Are you staring at me or are you staring past me?”

90. “If you we’re a guy/girl would you go out with me?” “I am a guy/girl.”

91. “Sounds stupid. When are we doing it?”

92. “Can we tell my parents that I’m at your house, just incase they get suspicious?”

93. “This is the part in the movie where we kiss or one of us dies. My fingers are crossed for option one.” “Speak for yourself.”

94. “I’m offended that you don’t have more faith in me but, honestly, it’s understandable given past experience.”

95. “Its just a blind date! What’s the worst that could happen?” “I could literally die.”

96. “I would light myself on fire to keep you warm and you wouldn’t even hand me a coat if I were freezing.”

97. “I trusted you, and so I guess I should have seen this coming.”

98. “I had a really weird sex dream about you and I’m not sure how I feel about it, honestly.”

99. “Okay, but this is the last time I bail you out!”

100. “All I know is that if you don’t tell me to stop I’m going to kiss you.”

101. “I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

Highlights from newsies live

- crutchie believes every thing Jack tells him!! He’s gonna ride the ponies some day!
- how les is so grown up in his mind but still looks back to his big brother for guidance
- LET THE MAN THINK so uh Jack, ya done thinking yet?
- David is so affronted by the whole thing he’s just here to sell his papes he didn’t ask to help lead a strike wtf guys
- Medda’s riffs are literally goals??
- Kara was so funny during watch what happens I could see every transition from each thought I really enjoyed it
- literally all of Santa Fe?? It’s so intense omg
- When Race sticks out his his tongue at “it’s my city, I’m the king of New york”
- Andrew Keenan Bolger made me cry during letter from the refuge ahhhh he looks so hopeful like he wants Jack to know it’s all going to be ok but he’s not sure himself but like he knows Jack can do anything
- Jack looks so small and scared while talking to Katherine right before something to believe in, my poor child!!!
- When spot puts his hands in a fist to stop the applause, he is so cocky he knows they’d do pretty much anything he’d ask and he lives for it
- hernst’s son doesn’t skip a beat just like yep that’s me
- after shaking Roosevelt’s hand Jack turns back to David like oh my god did you see that??
- When crutchie hits snyder with his crutch like yes you go crutchie!!! he deserves it what an asshole
- ROOSEVELT AND PULITZER ARE SO SALTY I LOVE IT
- Katherine smiling while kissing Jack, they’re so in love awww
-Each ensemble character had an individual personality i loved watching them all

Story time.

With the posts going around again about flirting with people at work, I’ll share one of mine. 

I honestly don’t mind people flirting with me. As long as it’s polite and respectful (preferably pun filled) I don’t care. But then some dude will make it weird by asking what time I get off work. I have never, ever, had a woman do this. It’s only men. 

So men who do this?

Do NOT ask people what time they get off work. 

When guys do that, I will have a manager walk me to my car. I will vary my route home and if I think someone is following me, I call the cops and change direction to the police station. (I’m white so I’m not afraid to do this, other people don’t have this luxury). 

“Oh don’t be so over dramatic,” I hear a guy groan as he rolls his eyes at a silly little female making up stories on the internet. 

I legit had a guy try to follow me home one time after I refused to tell him when I got off work. After forty minutes the cops intervened because I was crying to 911 that I didn’t want to be a Date Line episode. He told the cop that responded to my call he thought it would be funny to scare some manners into me. 

He told the cop that responded to my call he thought it would be funny to scare some manners into me.

The cop turns the tables and said if I called again, not only could dude be arrested for trespassing at my work, but my home as well, and I would have grounds for a stalking charge. 

Despite all that, my husband was so pissed off and worried that he would come to my work, walk me to my car, and then follow me home to make sure it didn’t happen again. He did that for weeks. To this day I still have people walk me to my truck and I will vary my route and I watch for a tail. It’s been almost a decade.

So, any time a guy asks me what time I’m off work, I wonder if he’s going to stalk me to the point of police intervention. Totally romantic.

Bump

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: overload of fluff ! Pregnancy, cravings, cute ass Steve

Word Count: 1000

Summary: Steve loves your baby bump


Steve yawned loudly as he slumped into the Avenger’s kitchen, one of his hands rubbing tiredly over his eyes while the other swung a plastic bag from its grip. It was close to one in the morning and he was exhausted, having gotten up at close to the exact time for the last four days in a row. Not that he was ever going to complain about it, you were a whole lot more uncomfortable than he was while in the last stages of your pregnancy and anything that Steve could do to help ease that discomfort he was going to do it.

The last month had been the worst by far, it hadn’t agreed with either of you it seemed. You couldn’t get comfortable in bed, on the couch or anywhere, which ultimately meant that Steve had no rest either. On top of that your cravings had been through the roof, leaving Steve to go on midnight runs to grab the stuff you wanted.

Shaking away another yawn Steve placed the bag down onto the counter, startling a bit in surprise when he saw Sam leaning against the other bench, bottle of water in his hand and a smug smile on his face. He nodded towards the bag with raised eyebrows.
“What was it this time?”
“Salted crackers and peanut butter.”
“That’s not so bad,” Sam shrugged, taking another mouthful of his water.
“No, that’s not so bad,” Steve replied. “You should have seen what she made yesterday however.”
“Okay, what was it?” Sam chuckled.
“She made mash potato with chocolate milk.”

Sam laughed at that, the sound echoing around the quiet room while he ignored the unamused expression on Steve’s face.
“Are you serious? That’s - yeah okay, wow.”
“It isn’t funny!” Steve huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I thought she was going to cry when I told her I didn’t want any, I didn’t have any choice but to eat it and I’m telling you right now I’m lucky I didn’t throw the lot back up.”
“I’m so, so glad I missed out on that one.”

Steve was about to open his mouth and reply when he heard feet shuffling across the floor, his eyes meeting yours a second later as you walked into the room; one hand running back through your bed mussed hair while the other cradled your large baby bump. Your bottom lip quivered as you took a shaky breath, Steve in front of you in seconds, his hands rubbing circles across your shoulders.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“N - nothing,” You sniffed, leaning forward until you could press your face against Steve’s chest. “I mean - God, it’s so stupid.”
“Hey, it’s not stupid if it’s upsetting you.”
“It’s just that you weren’t - you weren’t there and baby Roger’s keeps kicking me.”

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I Can’t Let You Go Until I Win

A/N: I really liked what I came up with for Wonwoo in my Seventeen as the mafia, so I decided to turn this into a scenario.


Jeon Wonwoo x Reader

Summary: Played poker with him once. He lost. Now he wants a rematch but you keep denying his challenge.

Genre: Mafia AU, suggestive

Word count: 1,476

Originally posted by wonwoowho

“Straight flush” you said laying down your cards.

It wasn’t your first time playing, no but you must admit that you get lucky most of the time and tonight was one of these nights. You were the only woman in the room and everyone’s eyes followed you as you took all of their money. Especially the one’s sitting opposite you.

“This can’t be right. I never lose.” the man spoke.

“Well you just did.” you smirked and walked out.

“Hey!” he shouted after you but you decided not to be bothered by him and went to the counter to get the chips exchanged.

“Don’t you ignore me goddammit.” someone grabbed you by the arm.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Keep your hands to yourself.” but he didn’t let go.

“This can’t be right, you must have cheated. I demand a rematch.”

“Are you crazy? I won fair and square, I can’t say the same about you though.”

He seemed surprised by your statement.

“How did you- Never mind that, I can’t lose to you.”

“Why? Because I’m a woman?”

“What? No, you don’t-“

“Is this man bothering you, madam?” a security guard finally came to your rescue.

“No. He. Isn’t.” you said taking your arm out of his grasp. “Right?”

He just looked at you and turned to go.

“We will see each other again.”

▲▼▲▼▲

You were kind of creeped out by what he said and decided not to stay in the casino for any longer than you should. You took the money and went to your car.

“What the hell was his problem.” you thought driving away. You couldn’t sleep well that night, thinking about what happened. You were too tired to make anything for yourself for breakfast and went to the café downstairs to get your coffee.

“The usual.” you said.

“I will take the same thing as the girl.” you turned to your right and saw the man from before leaning on the counter. You were about to say something when he spoke.

“I said we will see each other again.” but you didn’t expect him to actually do it.

“How did you find me?”

“I have my ways.” he smirked. You looked around. You don’t feel safe with him.

“Are you searching for escape routes already? That’s sad, I mean no harm. I just want to talk.”

“Yeah right.” you thought.

“Let’s play.”

“What?”

“I don’t need the money, I will get them back when we have a rematch. I just have to win.”

“Is he serious?” you couldn’t help but start laughing.

“What’s so funny sweetie?” he took your hand. “I’m Wonwoo by the way.”

You looked at your hand in his and quickly pulled it out. You took your coffee and went out the door but he followed.

“Hey don’t be so mean! I just introduced myself. At least tell me your name.”

“I’m sorry I have to go.” you said almost running to your car. You had no intentions of getting friendly with the likes of him. For all you know he could be a stalker or something. You looked at him through your rear view mirror and you could swear you saw him wink at you. You had trouble concentrating in work and couldn’t wait to go home and back to bed. You were about to leave when your co-worker came in your office.

“Y/N there is someone waiting for you at the entrance, he said his name is Wonwoo. Do you know him?”

“What? No no no. This can’t be right.” you thought descending down the stairs. You waited for a while before turning the corner thinking if you should really confront him. He seemed dangerous.

“Are you hiding from me?” he smiled coming up to you.

“What are you doing here? How do you find me?”

“Let’s play.” was the only thing he could say. “Come on, it could be fun.”

“I don’t want to. If I give you the money I won, will you leave me alone?”

“I said I don’t need the money, I need a rematch.” he said looking you in the eyes. Somehow you could tell he wasn’t lying but didn’t want to admit that. You could feel this ending up badly if you said yes, so you decided to ignore him and just go.

“Aish, what’s with that girl. It’s not like I’m asking her to do the impossible.” Wonwoo thought.

“Well you will have to play with me sooner or later.” he said to himself, looking at your ID on his phone screen.

▲▼▲▼▲

Lately he’s been getting on your nerves. You’re not scared anymore, you’re annoyed. He shows up out of nowhere at the most random places and always asks for a rematch. You have no idea how he does that but he’s persistent, you will give him that. You actually found him really handsome and were interested to find more about him but avoided doing so, as practically everything about him said trouble. You sighed and got into your car. You almost spilled you coffee when you noticed him sitting in the back seat.

“Wonwoo!? What the fuck?”

“Ooh you finally called me by my name!”

“Get the hell out of my car.”

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“Come on Y/N, let’s play.”

You only thought for a second where he knew your name from as you never mentioned it to him before answering.

“Geez, can’t you get over it already? I’m not playing your stupid game.”

“I didn’t want for it to come to this.” he said and you gulped when you saw how serious and dangerous his face has become.

“We are going to my place.” he said taking his gun out and pointing it at you.  Your eyes widened at the sight of the gun. Relax. It can’t be real.

“Are you seriously threatening me right now?” you asked him, trying to hide your shaking voice. “Get out of the car.” and to your surprise he did but he quickly came up to your side and opened the door.

“I could say the same for you.”

Not wanting to risk anything you got out. He wrapped his arm around your waist.

“We’re going with my car.” he said guiding you to it. It was a very fancy black car and you started thinking that maybe he really doesn’t need your money. You kept silent the whole ride, only glancing at him every so often.

“Look. I’m not going to kill you.” he told parking the car. He seemed to be living in some sort of hotel. He took your hand and went to the elevator. You couldn’t help but be amazed by the luxury in his suite.

“Welcome.” he laughed. “Have a seat.” he said pointing at the armchair near the table. He went to the other room and came back with a suitcase. He opened it and started sorting the poker chips out.

“I never said I will play with you.”

“But you’re here aren’t you?”

“You took me by force.”

“Then I will put this here.” he said setting the gun on the table. “Just in case.” he smirked.

“Ugh, fine. But only this one time and then I hope to never see you again.”

A very genuine smile spread on his face and you tried not to think how cute he looked.

“Finally.” he said.

▲▼▲▼▲

“Full house.” you laid down your cards.

“Fuck!” he shouted, shoving everything off the table. “Why does this keep happening?”

You stood up. It was kind of scary seeing him this pissed.

“Sit down.” he said calmly but you took a few steps back. He looked you in the eyes. “Sit down.  Don’t let me repeat it for the third time.”

He seemed calm but you knew he’s planning something, so you decided to just fuck it and turned around and ran to the door as fast as you can when he grabbed you by the arm and slammed you to the nearby wall. He pinned your hands above your head and leaned in closer, his face just inches away from yours. His eyes were dark and he looked incredibly sexy. You blinked a few times.

“What the hell Y/N?! Don’t let his good looks deceive you.” you thought as he lifted your chin up, so your eyes would meet his.

“What’s your secret? How come I can’t win against you?” you could feel his breath on your skin.

“I played with you as you asked. Now let me go.” you said.

“I can’t do that. I can’t let you go until I win.” he whispered into your ear. Being this close to him was bad but this made you blush like crazy.

“I have another game in mind.” he said pressing his forehead with yours and nibbling your lip. “Strip poker.” he smirked.

Pushing Buttons (Part 2)

Steve x Reader

Warnings: SMUT. Unprotected sex (wear a condom, pee after), oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, slight choking, hair pulling, dirty talk, bossy/demanding Steve, rough sex, mentions of being tied up, ass slapping. Also, swearing

WC 2794

AN: I told you there’d be a part two. I’m sorry I’m such a wordy mother fucker but it’s worth it. (so fucking worth it). Enjoy.

After Steve left, you took a long, hot shower. You needed to wash the mission off your skin and you scrubbed long and hard until you felt clean. Then, you turned the water as hot as you could stand it and just stood under the stream.

You had no idea what possessed Steve to kiss you. You were kicking yourself for not kissing him back but you had been shocked into inaction. One minute he was yelling at you, the next, his lips were against yours. You brushed a finger up against your lips trying to make sense of what had happened.

You were also stalling. You didn’t want to go down to dinner and face everyone. You were upset that you’d have to sit out the next three missions. Three! You could feel yourself getting angry again and you took a deep breath trying to calm yourself. You were also embarrassed at your behaviour. You had let your anger get the better of you. But, dammit, you still didn’t know why he was so pissed during the mission.

Eventually the water turned cold and you quickly dressed and headed down to eat. You were hoping it wouldn’t be a full house since you didn’t want to have to answer any questions but luck wasn’t on your side because almost everyone was sitting around the table eating together. As soon as you into the room, everyone stopped talking. You knew they had been talking about you and it made your skin prickle.

“Oh, come on,” you muttered under your breath, taking your seat.

“Sam told us what happened,” Wanda spoke, not unkindly.

He had the decency to look embarrassed.

“Really Wilson? You couldn’t wait for me to share?”

“I’m sorry! After I came to check on you everyone wanted to know if you were okay. It just came out.”

You didn’t respond, instead, choosing to ignore him and eat in silence.

“C’mon, Y/N. Don’t be mad.”

“I’m just impressed you got him to yell at you,” piped up Natasha from the other end of the table. “He never yells.”

“Lucky me then,” you replied, sourly.

Just then, you heard someone clear their throat behind you.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” you turned around. “Does that count as subordination, too, Sir?”

Steve rolled his eyes at you, “No. That’s just you being a brat.”

You could feel your nostrils flare. Standing up abruptly, you picked up your plate, “I’m not that hungry after all,” you said leaving the table before you could get in any more trouble.

No one followed you out. 

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sometimes I think am just living in the wrong world.sometimes I wish that I could stop the clock rewind the time.I lost my way so many times but it’s funny how now am king of the town but alone in the crowd. So stressed I got issues with trust too many years dealing with lost & Pain. But a work in progress is what I tell myself I am (lies) but you know that I know that am a just a broken man. I look in the mirror and the only reflection I see is just a shadow of the man I should be.
—  novacanebby26 

Me: *sees a picture of Ethan*

Me: 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

For You{4}[Jeff Atkins]

Request: Can i request a Jeff Atkins imagine where hes like a badboy but when Y/N is the new girl at Liberty and Clay takes her under his wing, Jeff feels the need to protect her and be good for her? And then at a party he sees Monty and Y/N flirting so he gets wasted and Y/N ends up taking him to her house and taking care of him and he drunkenly confesses his softy feelings for her?

Pairing:bad boy!Jeff Atkins x fem!reader

A/N:This kinda sucks but here it is anyway!-M

part 1     part 2     part 3     part 5

tags: im-a-fandom-slut    @gamesandremixes     @shamless-wolfies     @leviathan-cas-05   writing-in-riverdale     k-illdarlings    
vszzsv     deanilostmyshoe

Originally posted by wkom

“Jeff… "She said once more and sighed deeply. When she saw that he just wouldn’t stop,she started shaking her head and finally, his hands removed from her hair.

"Ah,don’t do this,you’ll get dizzy!”

She ignored his comment and continued walking, faster and faster every time he spoke.She felt really uncomfortable listening to him compliment her.She needed him to shut up so that she could think straight.

“Your hair is soft.I like your hair.”

“Jeff,stop it…” She said in a serious tone.He just rolled his eyes and smiled widely,like he had achieved his goal to irritate her.

Why was he like that?Bipolar disorder?No,just too much liquor.Right?

“We’re almost at my house.Where’s yours though? "She asked and suddenly, he overdramatically put his right hand on his forehead and fell on her.She used all her strength and somehow managed to lift him up.He put his arm around her shoulders and he seemed like he couldn’t walk properly.

"What?” She almost yelled but he put his index finger on her lips,hushing her.

“Oh no,i don’t feel very well…Can i stay at your place tonight?”

“Whoa wait…”She said and tried to push him away but he was too strong and didn’t seem to move an inch.She  sighed loudly and put her hands on his waist,holding him tightly.

She let him come with her without even asking for the location of his own home.He was such a fucking distraction.She was so busy thinking of what she would answer,if he asked her about what happened at the party that she didn’t even mind him basically walking her home.All the anger had strangely faded away and she even laughed a few times at his stupid,intoxicated,loud thoughts.

“Have you noticed that i eventually go along with whatever you want tonight?I’ve lowered my standards and that’s bad.”She confessed and snorted at he thought that he had such an effect on her.It was just so funny.

“So is that an okay or what?“He asked and after hesitating for a moment,she nodded.

“I guess you won’t tell me where you live so i can take you there.And i guess i can’t leave you alone either.“

“You guess right babygirl…”He whispered in her ear and smirked.Y/N felt shivers running down her spine.What was wrong with her?She was supposed to slap him for everything he told and did to her those past couple of days and then walk away.But that wasn’t one of her options and she couldn’t tell why.

After a couple minutes of dead silence,they finally arrived at Y/N’s.

“Can you stand?”She asked and giving her an adorab-stupid smile,he removed his arm from her and indeed stood on his own two feet like there wasn’t anything wrong with him physically.

“Yes, as you can see!”He said and she shook her head.He was playing with her.Of course,she knew that he was pretending but the worst part was that he was having the time of his life.He was enjoying it so much.

She took the keys out of the pocket of her dress and unlocked the door.Thank goodness her parents were gone for the weekend.

“Oh my!This place is so cool!”Jeff exclaimed as he walked in.He literally jumped on the couch then lay there,his hands resting on his forehead.

“Yeah,sure,right…”She seemed to be thinking of something else so she wasn’t paying much attention to him.More than to what was gonna happen from that point and on.

“Y/N i need to tell you something…”He almost shouted when he saw the girl getting upstairs.She stopped moving and turned to him,giving him a questionable look.

“I’m just gonna bring you a blan-”

“It can wait.”He retorted and she frowned.What was so important?Probably on of his stupid comments again,she thought and rolled her eyes.

He sounded serious and honest though.Like something serious had happened.Y/N slowly walked towards him and getting up,he made space for her to sit beside him.

“What is it this time?”She asked,not looking at him.She felt exausted all of a sudden.She didn’t wanna think anymore.It was tiring.

“You’re probably gonna laugh at me but honestly,at this point i don’t care…”He said and put his hands on her thigh.Okay,what was happening?One moment he was all acting strange,the other all serious.Weirdly, sober serious.

The place his hand touched started burning.Damn you Jeff Atkins.Damn you…

“Doubt it,only if it’s some kind of anecdote…”She turned her gaze at him and took a moment to acknowledge his beautiful features;Fuck,he was handsome.

“Hey,listen…”He almost whispered as he removed some hair from her face,putting them behind her ear.

Oh,o-okay…”She breathed.

“You know i like you right?You don’t think i punched Motty because i hate you?I know i said some hurtful things to you and i wish i could take them back.But every time i saw you in the hall with Jensen,i couldn’t help but feel jealous that he was hanging out with you instead of me.And earlier,i felt the need to protect you from that asshole because i know he isn’t the guy you all think he is.”

As he talked,she felt more and more confused.He felt jealous?He wanted to protect her?Where did all these feelings come from?Hell,did he just say he liked her?No,she must have misheard.

“I didn’t mean to say those things to you.I-i just expressed my interest in you in the worst fucking way possible.I don’t hate you Y/N.I like you,so much.I want to get to know you better.I am so attracted to you and believe me, i am hardly holding back so as to not kiss you right now…”

His face was inches away from hers,their foreheads were touching.Y/N could smell his intoxicating breath,a mix of alcohol and ment.Her breath hitched in her throat.That was so wrong.He was just drunk,he didn’t know what he was saying,right?

“Jeff,you need to rest..”Was all that she could say as she gently put her hands on his chest, pushing him back;he was way too close.He bit the inside of his cheek,then ran a hand through his hair.

“So that’s all you have to say after all this?That i need to rest?Y/N,don’t you see it?I am so in love with you,yet you don’t even say anything about it!”

Y/N angrily stood up and started pacing back and forth.

“What do you want me to say?That i like you back?Is that what you wanna hear?Even if i did i would never admit it because boys like you use girls for their own benefit!I am not willing to be one of those girls Jeff,okay?All i want is for this  misunderstanding to end at this very moment.I forgive you for what you did but please,don’t make this more complicated than it already is.Just,leave it.I’m sure that tomorrow,everything you did and what we said tonight will just be a blur to you.So let’s just end this here,please…“

She finished her small speech and with tears in her eyes, she didn’t even notice Jeff getting up and heading towards her.

“I don’t do these things Y/N,you have it all wrong-”

He tried to touch her hand but she took a step back,shaking her head.

“It doesn’t matter, Jeff.You are drunk and you can’t control the words coming out of your mouth.I’m sure you don’t even mean everything you’ve told me tonight.So just lay on the couch,i’ll bring you a pillow and a blanket and then you can sleep.And when you wake up in the morning,please go before i come down.Don’t want you shouting at me for ‘seducing’ you to come to my home.”

She wiped away some tears covering her face and biting her lip,she turned around and hesitantly climbing the stairs,she slowly disappeared from his sight.

He decided to let her go.He thought she needed time to maybe think.Besides,she’d come down anyway.While sitting down in silence,his head spinning, he managed to come to a single conclusion;he wasn’t gonna give up so easily.

It’s Hopeless - Sebastian Stan Imagine

warnings: angst, fluff, Chris!Best Friend,  

request: The reader is best friends with Chris, but in love with Sebastian. She goes to Chris for advice on how to let Seb know how she feels. - @ theimpossibleg1rl

words: 1700+

masterlist 

“What the fuck are you doin’ here!” You ran towards your best friend at full speed, knowing he can take your impact easily.

“Chris! I missed you!” Your voice was muffled by the neck of his Cap suit.

Chris kissed your hair, holding it flat with his large palm. His arm was wrapped around your waist, keeping you lifted off the ground, and stuck in his arms.  

“I missed you too, Honeypot.”  

You had flown down to surprise Chris while he shot Civil War in Atlanta. He’d been moaning for months about how he was so bored and homesick that you decided to shut him up. For a little bit, at least.

Setting you back on Earth, he bared a grin when whilst holding you away from his body. He was looking for any change to your appearance since he’d last saw you, which was five months ago. A lot can happen in five months, and Chris was always so diligent in knowing every detail of your face and appearance. He could spot your hair cut an inch shorter, or you wore a new outfit. It was nice to have a best friend who took notice in the effort you put into looking presentable.

“Well, what are you fuckin’ doin’ here? When’d you get in?” Chris slung one arm over your shoulder and guided you towards the crafts table, where a selection of decorous food was lying.

“Lisa ringed me the other week beggin’ me to take spring vacation to come visit you! I guess I was the only one fit to shut up your whining and begging.” Chris chuckled and nodded in acknowledgment. He knew he had been on the, rather, complaining side in his tone for the last few months. He just missed his family so much. He missed seeing Miles, Lucy, and Noah. He missed not being able to go to his parent’s house on Thursdays for spaghetti dinner.

“Like always, she was right. You are the only human being beside her that could make me feel like I’m home with just your presence.”

You felt so much love for your best friend, and now you felt even more. He was so sweet and benevolent in nature. He’d been that way since the day you met him, 26 years ago. He was just a scrawny 9 years old, terrified to go down the slide on the playground. You were an adventurous 8-year-old and told Chris he could hold your hand while going down the slide together. He agreed and ever since then you two have held each other’s hands through the worst of times and the best of times.

“It can’t be! No way!” Booming from across the lot, you saw Mackie waving his hands frantically at you while jogging over. There had been a companion with him, a brunette you had only heard about before. The brunette didn’t join Mackie when he ran over to you, though. He just set foot in a slow pace walk, almost looking uneager to meet the mysterious best friend of Chris’.

Anthony pulled you into a big hug when he finally reached you and Chris, both pigging out at the table of goodies. “Big Mack! How goes it?”

He shrugged nonchalantly, “Not too bad. Livin’ good down in A.T.L., aren’t we Evans?”

“You are, Mr. Life of The Party.” Anthony gawked at Chris and slapped his shoulder. “Don’t try and pretend that you ain’t out at the clubs, talkin’ to the ladies, now. We don’t wanna be tellin’ lies to our friends now do we?” You giggled at shook your head, turning back towards the donuts.

You held a chocolate glazed one to your mouth when you heard an unfamiliar voice from behind.

“I wouldn’t if I were you. Those have been baking in the sun for a good fifteen hours.”

Sebastian had his blue eyes cast towards you, with a warm smile upon his lips. Chuckling nervously, you agreed and laid the donut back on the tray.

“Thank you. Wouldn’t have wanted to catch food poisoning my first day here.” Sebastian just broadened his grin that, swear to god, was twinkling in the sunlight. He stuck out his hand and you met him halfway.

“Sebastian.”

“Y/N. Chris’ best friend.”

Ever since that moment, you had been hooked to Sebastian Stan. Hopelessly, carelessly devoted to a man who didn’t even know you felt so much towards.

Keep reading

Avengers Chatroom: Pizza

Requested by Anon

Pairings: Peter Parker x f!Reader

Scenario: The team really wants to know who Peter’s girlfriend is. Especially Tony.

A/N:  моему маленькому ангелу - my little angel. Thank you to the Anon who let me know about the correct translation <3


Tony has created a chatroom.

Tony has invited Nat, Steve, Clint.

Tony: I have some news about Peter.

Clint: What did he do?

Steve: Leave the kid alone.

Nat: You are like an aunt who is always gossiping.

Tony: Do you want to know or not?!

Steve: It’s none of your or ours business if he did anything. He’s a good kid so I doubt it’s something bad.

Clint: Yup.

Tony: HE HAS HICKEYS

Tony: ON HIS NECK

Tony: PETER

Nat: He is a teenage boy. He must have a girlfriend. This is not surprising.

Tony: I didn’t raise him like this!

Clint: You didn’t raise him at all.

Tony: Don’t any of you want to know who this girlfriend is?

Steve:

Steve: Kinda.

Nat: Steve!

Steve: What? He never introduced us to her! We are his second family. We should know.

Nat: True… Okay, who is it?

Tony: I don’t know.

Steve: Well find out.

Tony: You find out!

Nat has added Peter.

Nat: So, you have a girlfriend?

Peter: No I don’t.

Tony: Then who gave you the hickeys?!

Peter: What? I don’t have that.

Clint: Tony maybe you imagined it.

Tony: I AM NOT BLIND. I KNOW WHAT I SAW!

Tony has added Y/N, Bucky, Sam, Bruce, Thor.

Tony: Who knows who Peter’s girlfriend?

Tony: Whoever she is, she gave him hickeys!

Y/N: That is none of your business!

Steve: That’s what I said.

Y/N: and stop mentioning the hickeys!

Peter: This is so awkward.

Bruce: Stop harassing him Tony.

Thor: What are hickeys? Is it some type of animal?

Y/N: … Yes.

Bruce: Don’t mislead Thor. We don’t need a repeat of last time.

Y/N: BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY!

Bruce: HE THOUGHT PHIL WAS A GHOST!

Thor: I almost threw Mjolnir at him …

Y/N: whoops.

Tony: BACK TO THE TOPIC!

Peter: I don’t have a girlfriend!

Bucky: He must be telling the truth. Are we really going to believe Tony? Of all people?

Tony: Hurtful.

Peter: Can we change the subject?

Sam: I kind of want to know as well now. Who’s the lucky lady?

Peter: I am not dating anyone.

Steve: I will find out.

Y/N: Leave him alone.

Tony: Confess!

Nat: We just want to meet her.

Steve: Maybe his aunt knows.

Tony: If you don’t tell me, I will ask your aunt.

Y/N: WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY CHILL?!

Peter: Please don’t!

Bucky: Ask his aunt.

Peter: She doesn’t know!

Thor: Perhaps she ought to.

Tony: Maybe I’ll visit her right now.

Peter: I’ll do anything! Don’t tell her!

Sam: Why not?

Peter: She should find out from me, not any of you!

Nat: So you are dating someone.

Tony: I’m only 5 minutes away.

Tony: Do you think she’ll be surprised?

Y/N: It’s me! I’m his girlfriend!

Y/N: Don’t tell his aunt!

Clint: MY SWEET Y/N?!

Tony: YOU HAVE TAINTED MY PETER!

Y/N: Okay I’m sweet or sinful, which is it?!

Peter: … Both, babe.

Sam: Okay. Ew. Ew. Ew. I don’t need to know that.

Bucky: I would never have guessed.

Nat: Awww my two babies are dating <3

Thor: This is most adorable!

Sam: Didn’t know you had a thing for spiders.

Y/N: Oh shush.

Bruce: I assume you both have been given the birds and the bees talk?

Bruce: I will recite it just in case.

Y/N: Please don’t!

Peter: I didn’t know my cheeks could get as red as my suit…

Steve: I need pictures of the two of you!

Y/N: For what?

Steve: To frame! You’re growing up so fast!

Clint: I don’t accept this! Don’t condone this!

Tony: NEITHER DO I!

Steve: And why not?

Peter: This is why we were anxious to tell any of you.

Clint: YOU KEEP YOUR SPIDER SON AWAY FROM MY INNOCENT Y/N.

Tony: YOU KEEP HER AWAY FROM MY SPIDER SON!

Peter: Mr. Stark… I don’t mean to insult you but…I’m not your son. I should be able to date Y/N without your permission.

Tony: After all I’ve done for you… You come into MY HOUSE

Y/N: Chat*

Tony: AND DO THIS TO ME?

Y/N: What do you think I’ll do to Peter?! Kill him?!

Tony: Well no. You two actually make a very good couple.

Y/N: Then why all the fuss?!

Tony: I don’t want you and him to date because Nat is your mentor. You know her famous Thighs Of Death move and what if YOU INJURE HIM DURING SEXY TIMES… IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

Nat: You have already embarrassed them enough. Do you really think I’m going to let you tell моему маленькому ангелу that and live?

Tony: … I’m sorry.

Tony: Y/N, tell your mama bear to stand down!

Tony: Please!

Tony has left the chat.

Nat has left the chat.

Peter: Do you think we should go help him?

Y/N: He’ll be fine.

Steve: Well… That was certainly quite the experience.

Bucky: I’m going to go see Tony get his ass kicked. Happy days :)

Bucky has left the chat.

Sam has left the chat.

Clint: Listen here, Peter. If you hurt my little Y/N, I will shoot you. I never miss. EVER.

Clint has left the chat.

Y/N: … I guess that’s his way of giving us his blessings.

Peter: I’m very scared right now.

Thor: You would be scared only if you meant to hurt Lady Y/N…

Peter: That’s not what I mean!

Thor: I will be watching you. Closely. At all times. Wherever you may be, I will be there. Watching.

Thor has left the chat.

Y/N: … That’s not creepy at all.

Peter: Study date tonight? I’ll bring pizza and all your favorite snacks.

Y/N: Yes. Did I ever tell you that I love you? Because I do. Very much.

Peter: Are you only saying that because I’m bringing food?

Y/N: Partially.

Peter: Well I love you too.

Bruce: Maybe I can tutor you two…

Y/N: Date. Study DATE.

Bruce: Just want to make sure that studying is the only thing happening.

Peter: … So two pizzas it is then.

Bruce: Good :)

Bruce has left the chat.

Steve: What are you going to study?

Y/N: History.

Steve: Make it three pizzas.

Steve has left the chat.

Peter: Will we ever be alone after this?

Y/N: We just have to be extra sneaky.

Vision has joined the chat.

Vision: I have been informed of an impromptu study session with pizza. Make it four, please.

Peter: BUT YOU DON’T NEED TO EAT!

Vision: Five actually. Wanda will be joining.

Peter: Who eats an entire pizza?!

Vision: Six now. Pietro will be in attendance.

Y/N: I’m moving to Wakanda.

Peter: Right behind you.

Y/N has left the chat.

Peter has left the chat.

Vision: So no pizza?

Vision has left the chat.

Okay so i have a really funny story that I just remembered now,,,,

I was showing my boyfriend who isnt very into voltron some voltron crack. And almost every single one of the scenes was the ICONIC “we had a bonding moment, i cradled you in my arms”

And my boyfriend knows i really ship klance and so after a few videos (NOTE HES NOT INTO SHIPPING OR LIKE VOLTRON AT ALL)

he says ,,, “wow that would be so funny if the whole bonding moment scene was real and not just a voice overed thing to make it more shippy and funny”

AND I LOOKED AT HIM FOR A FEW SECONDS AND I WAS LIKE “NO THATS THE REAL AUDIO”

AND HE JUST SAYS “Really?? I thought it was something this person made to make it more gay???? What”

AND THEN CUT TO ME LAUGHING AND DYING AND TELLING THEM ABOUT MUCH KLANCE WILL BE CANON

anonymous asked:

LEELA PLS ANALYZE THE NEW DAPCRAFTS VID I CANT STOP SCREAMING

it was,,,,,, so fucking good. i just need to rant for a bit about so many aspects of this video because like not only was it genuinely so funny and original and creative, it was just SO WELL MADE. there were so many small details about it that i couldn’t even believe.  they put so much actual effort into it and they’re also both so naturally funny when it comes to this kind of humor. ahhhh there were so many good things to talk about that i hardly know where to begin or like how to even organize my thoughts so just like,,, be ready bc this is about to be the most incoherent ramble 

first of all. dnp work so well together. i mean. we know this, we see it all the time. but there’s a lot of humor in the crafts videos that is just completely improvised within the larger pre-planned structure/concept. and they bounce off each other SO well in this setting (maybe even better than they do in many of their normal collabs, at least from a comedic standpoint.) i think a lot of this has to do w the fact that the satirical cheeriness of the “characters” that they play, that is over-emphasized to the point of being creepy, just lends itself really well to so many amazing one-liners. but also they just have such good chemistry that is so readily apparent in this context,,, it makes me emotional. they consistently set each other up for jokes, if one person improvises a certain action or behavior the other goes along with it or reacts to it immediately and that’s a mark of rly well-practiced entertainers but also two people who know each other really well and i love watching it play out.

i also do have to acknowledge that they are both fundamentally quite talented. all three of the craft videos are examples of really genuinely witty humor and they showcase that side of dnp so well. both of them also have such a good sense of comedic timing and even an intuition for physical comedy and they’re also rly creative with how they edit these videos and the union of all of those elements is what makes these videos so good in my opinion. while i believe dan’s explanation that the first crafts video was filmed quite spontaneously without much of a plan (and that’s why it’s super short and not as funny as the latter two imo), i do think they put a lot of thought and effort into this one which is quite clear through many of the details they worked into the video both during the filming itself and then afterwards in the editing. first of all the overall concept of them being taken by satan as a culmination of the extremely subtle creepy undertones from the first one is just so smart bc no one would expect them to take it that far and the total hyperbolic unlikeliness of it is what makes it so damn funny. i think most ppl were expecting when dan said he’s keeping his stamp a secret that it would just be some sort of satanic symbol like what happened in the glitter faces vid but like,,, no one thought it’d escalate to where it did. it was so unexpected and over the top but somehow still not overdone or so forced as to dilute the comedy. it synthesized humor with genuinely unsettling creepiness and that is such a difficult balance to achieve. 

you can tell they put a lot of thought into it on so many levels. for instance they worked in all these rly subtle allusions to satan himself before the weird ritual scene happens, like dan saying “this one’s long with a big head like him” (ty for describing satans cock to us dan jfc) and phil saying “i’ve selected as many knives as friends i have, which is two.” then even during the ritual scene they work in things like the cow noise since a common satanic symbol is a horned deity (baphomet lol). and in their new channel description they use the case file name 19-1-20-1-14 which decodes to the word “satan” if you use a basic letter-number cipher (in which each number stands for the letter that is that position in the alphabet. ’s’ is the 19th letter, ‘a’ is the first, and so on.) and there are so many other little editing quirks that give this video that unsettling undertone, as well as editing quirks that add to the comedy of it and it’s all just so well done. for example the voice editing on certain words like “sharp” and “go away.” the audio overlays of heavy breathing at various points and random cuts to black screens. the use of creepy music at strategic places throughout. at 4:36 they recorded themselves saying protip backwards just to reverse it and they even spell out the “protip” text backwards, seemingly both as a way to shit on the whole ‘protip’ trope from the last vid and also to make fun of the way that satanists/conspiracy theorists think there are hidden messages in popular songs and shit that u can only hear if u play the audio backwards. ugh i hate them and their many layers of references. phil also references this again during the ritual part, when dan lights the match (he just goes “portip” “portip” as though he’s trying to say it backwards lol.) and then they fuck around w the word protip throughout the video almost like they’re making fun of it. there’s also definitely a subtle pitch manipulation of their voices as the video progresses. by the end they sound like they’ve sucked on a little bit of helium but it happens gradually enough that you’re just a little bit put off and you can’t really place why. then there’s the little comedic touches like the siren sound when “carefully” flashes across the screen. the fact that the legal disclaimer for adult supervision is cut off at the sides. the zoom in on the fleck of green paint that lands on dan when phil’s pouring it into the plate. ugh like damn i just want to make the point that they clearly put work into this and on face value it seems like a shoddy home video w a weird satanic ending but there’s a reason this works so well and feels so creepy and simultaneously laugh out loud funny and it’s bc they’re genuinely talented and we don’t always get to see that creative talent at work in their standard formulas for videos on their regular channels so i’m just so grateful that they made something like this where it seems like they allow themselves to exercise more of that creative energy. it begs a lot of questions about why they don’t do shit like this more,,,  and i think there are a number of reasons they feel safe and happy making what they generally make now but i’m jst so happy that at least in these videos they’ve branched out and done something so creative and good.

on that note. i just need to ramble about phil. i don’t think anyone can dispute that phil really carries these videos and partly that’s because he’s been in the role of the “teacher” in all three videos so he inevitably comes across as more dominant and sets the tone for the humor, but also like,,, he just works so well in this style and comes up with such spontaneous and WITTY little remarks that inevitably become the standout lines from each vid (in this one, for example, “potato is in my top ten favorite fruit,” “sometimes it’s nice to look up at the stars and remember that they’re all already dead,” “if you make a mistake while cutting just think about it for the rest of the day,” etc. and one of my fav from the past, “if you’re left handed ask a friend” (d: why am i left handed) “everybody makes mistakes!”) he also seems to improvise a lot of the physical comedy in the videos (in this one, the way he just stared at the paint as he squeezed it out for way too long, the way he threw around the cutting boards and plates, the way he did the chopping; and in past ones, slamming his hands on the paper and on dan’s hands when mixing the glitters, clacking the scissors super loudly in the first one, etc.) i just love these videos so much bc they’re some of the only ones that we have these days where phil is really doing most of the comedic legwork and dan definitely helps and bounces off of him but mostly lets phil take charge and i live for it. and while there’s obvi no way to tell who rly did the editing for the video (and i’m sure it was a mix of both of them) there’s no denying that the editing style and general creepiness (especially of the ritual sacrifice scene lol) bear a lot of similarities to the feeling/vibe/editing quirks in a lot of phil’s old school videos (i’m thinking like tape 6 and the basket which, if any of you reading these have not watched, please just open a tab right now and do that before you finish reading this lol.) the choppy way the different clips are spliced together in the whole ritual scene (where one second dan is stamping phil, then lighting a match and chanting, then phil’s chanting, then he’s slumped over and then there are two videos overlaid on top of each other when dan is actually stamping phil’s back and then the sudden cut to black) it’s all so reminiscent of those older videos and it does make me feel like phil had a larger creative hand in thinking about how this video should be put together and that just makes me so happy to think about. i’ve always wondered what phil does w his self-professed obsession with horror and his interest in violence and psychological thrillers and whatnot, as well as his former academic/critical study of filmmaking. it makes sense that he doesn’t feel comfortable exploring those interests by making things himself in this genre in a real way and especially not on youtube because his self-described objective through this platform is to provide his audience with light and uplifting entertainment. more pragmatically, he’s trying to make a living from this job and hold somewhat broad-based appeal through the videos he makes and it makes sense that lighter content that doesn’t require too much intellectual rigor would fare better and hold more consistent audience engagement. and more personally, making things on the level of tape 6, even years later w more familiarity with editing and whatnot and perhaps more skill in writing scripts/characters/plots, still would involve a certain degree of personal emotional vulnerability that the current amazingphil format doesn’t demand. in short, venturing into these territories creatively would be a risk on a lot of levels. it would invite more formal critique of his work. it would invite more people trying to read into who he is and his psyche (which are things that i feel like he’s actually terrified of and that’s part of why he’s built such a protective barrier against it). it would be a risk and it makes sense that he doesn’t want to take it, at least not right now. but it’s just lovely to see that he still has the capacity to make things in the vein of those older videos and to make them WITH DAN and mix them with comedy which i need to reiterate is such a hARD THING TO DO!!!! and  idk it just rly makes me so happy to watch and to think about. 

i love phil so much, and none of this is meant to dilute dan’s role since i’m sure he did inform some of the decisions here, but i just think that dan as phil’s biggest fan (since 2007 y’all) would feel many of these same things about phil’s older content and support phil’s desire to engage that darker creative energy/talent he has hiding under all of those layers of syrupy happiness and amiability. i love that this is sort of an update to that vintage dark!phil content bc it’s the same dark undertones, same editing quirks, etc. but now it’s mixed with rly cheeky humor and maybe that’s dan’s influence or maybe it’s still phil, but a phil that has shared his life w someone w this particular irreverent and sarcastic sense of humor for so many years and this video shows the confluence of those two things in such a lovely and original way and just,,,, ugh. this video was so much and i loved it SO much. truly so, so good i was not prepared to feel so many deep-seated Emotions over some god damn satanic propaganda i need help. 

(danandphilcrafts - potato prints)

deaddjbutterflies  asked:

What gave you the idea for Bette Noir? I mean, something gave you inspiration right?

I was thinking on a way to defeat determination, funny enough, Toby made it so Determination is ACTUALLY the strongest trait since it all depends on your force of will more than, moral principles and stuff like that.

You really can’t break someone’s Determination by beating them up, physical pain would never work, so then I thought on emotional pain, but this was also a tricky point… loosing a friend? tell a lie? what would be the breaking point for determination? Only 1 of those don’t sound like it’d be enough, so then it clicked: Fear

Did you know that fear is the origin of all bad things?
failure, frustration, doubt, betrayal… and of course…
defeat

one time i was at a cafe with a guy friend and i had gotten pretty close with him so i was telling him about how i hadn’t pooped the day before and he was like “wtf girls can poop” and i said “yeah we have buttholes” and he said “i thought you had buttholes for anal” and i went “who tf would do anal” and he looked at me, grabbed both my hands and whispered “the team i play for would”

and that ladies and gentlemen is how my best friend came out to me and i’ve never been so amazed

braveten  asked:

5 headcanons about Victor annoying Yuuri (or Yuuri annoying Victor)

(these are 100% inspired by chrissy teigen’s tweets, and also by our chats when we were talking about her lmao)

1. victor has taken to doing this thing where he sends yuuri nudes and then says, “sorry wrong person.” it’s funny, it’s really funny, it’s comedy gold—until it isn’t. until at one point yuuri texts back, “no worries, happens to me all the time :p” and then victor realizes. he realizes that he’s never, not once, gotten a nude from katsuki yuuri. “wait what?” he types back, fingers flying over the touch screen. “yuuri? yuuri. who’ve you been sending yours to??” but no response comes, and victor is frantically shoving the groceries into the recyclable bag. he ignores the looks he gets from the cashier and surrounding customers. then he’s stumbling out of the store, pulling his phone out again and hitting call.

“what does that mean?” he asks, no preamble. // “hmm?” yuuri’s voice is nonchalant on the other line, innocent. // “yuuri,” victor whines. // but yuuri only yawns: “sorry, which one are you? i have so many contacts saved under the name ‘boyfriend’ so you’re going to have to identify yourself.” 

victor never tries to be funny again. 


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