i thought it was like a burrito

I was ringing up a white couples burrito bowls the other day at Chipotle. Their total was $17.38.

I looked at the guy, and asked, “Is this your trap queen?” with a straight face.

 He looked confused as hell, They then looked at the total.
They started dying for like 3 - 4 minutes possibly while everybody in line looked confused as fuck.

Good times.


“Yeah… I just feel like I haven’t accomplished anything that I thought I was supposed to. You know, by the time my dad was 30, he was married, had two kids, and escaped the Communist regime. My biggest decision today will be if I send back this burrito with salsa verde.”


You sat on your laptop scrolling through Tumblr when Your Skype notified you someone was calling you.

You see its your big brother Phil. You smile and answer to see Dan with him. You have the biggest crush on Dan and feel like you should make up some excuse as to why you can’t talk 

 “Y/N? Are you okay?” You hear Dan ask. 

 “Y-Yeah. Just my anxiety” you lie and bring your blanket around you and hide in a blanket burrito. 

 “I miss you” Dan said before his eyes widened. Did he mean to say that?

 “Erm…That’s my baby sister” 

 “I’m only 4 years younger” you say and sip your tea. “And Dan? I thought you hated me” You said as you sipped your tea again. 

Phil gave him a dirty look but Dan pushed him out of the way and sat in front of the camera. 

 "I do not Hate you! Now don’t kill me Phil but I don’t care anymore I’m saying this to your sister! Y/N Lester! You listen to me now! You are a beautiful young woman and I have wanted to say this for a long time and you know I’m not spontaneous at all and that I’m just rambling now but I have a point!” He said and looked at Phil. 

Phil nodded at him and smiled. What is happening?!

“Y/N I’ve been thinking about you alot and I was always a dick to you because I really really like you! I’ve asked your brother if I could actually ask you out since he’s well Phil and he’s literally so fucking protective it’s unreal but….Can you actually come to London and go on a date with me?” 

Yiu were in total shock! Did Dan Howell just ask you out?! You thought he was actually in love with your brother to be honest with Phan being all over the fucking internet 

“I was actually going to London tomorrow to see Phil and was booking a place to stay” You said remembering why you were actually on your laptop. 

“Why would you not be staying with us? We still have the spare room Y/N/N”

You didn’t want to be a  bother and knowing you you’d accidentally walk in on one of their live shows or when they’re filming a video and totally be so awkward and embarrassed. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Of course we are!!” Dan said. You nodded and smiled.

“Then mister Howell Yes I’ll come to see you and my brother. Have my coffee and Phil if you hand me Decaf I will fucking end you!” 

“Don’t swear!” he demanded. You stuck your tongue out and giggled. You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face as Phil and Dan hung up. You were going on a date with Daniel James Howell! 

You were on top of the world

Food Service AUs
  • “you order the same thing everyday and the one day you change your meal i’ve already had it wrapped and ready to go i demand justice” au
  • “it’s super busy right now and i just got in and my coworker told me that this burrito was for the cutie with the booty and - oh you meant that guy, i thought you meant this guy! oops” au
  • “yes i’d like to give my compliments to the chef this soup is divine, yes feel free to bring them out here i’d like to give it in person AND OH MY GOD IS THAT THE CHEF THEY ARE HOT I’M NOT DRESSED FOR THIS” au
  • “my parents have owned this restaurant for years and they haven’t hired anyone under the age of 35 since ever and no mom i’m not flirting with the new waiter oh my god why would i do that please date me you’re too cute for words” au
  • “i’m a pizza delivery person and i got stuck in this elevator with you trying to deliver my last pizza and i’m so hungry and we shouldn’t but i’m game if you are, god i love pepperoni pizza” au
  • “you come every saturday five minutes before we close and order a cheeseburger with curly fries, is there a reason for this, or do you just hate us?” au
  • “this is going to sound weird but that my ex thinks i have a fiance who owns this restaurant and they’re going to be here in five so please pretend to be my significant other, i’ll buy everything on the menu” au
  • “every time you come you give me a different name for your order and you always pay in cash GOD DAMMIT JUST TELL ME YOUR REAL NAME ‘DYNAMITE’” au
  • “oh no it’s the horrible lady with the glasses again i refuse to take her order - wait who’s that hottie with her? it’s alright guys, i’ll take one for the team” au
  • “you are the worst sous chef ever why do you even work here - what - what are you doing? why are you flirting with me? no i’m not doing anything saturday… what did you have in mind?” au
  • “are you going to order now or what you’ve been holding up the line for fifteen minutes and i was supposed to go on my break two minutes ago” au
  • “we’re hosting a speed date night and i’ve made eye contact with you on all of your five minutes dates and honestly, someone with a brain talk to this person b/c i might just pour water all over the next person unworthy to date you” au
  • “I’m sorry i’m making the most orgasmic sounds while i eat this pie, but it’s just so good and i promise i’ll never return if you let me taste the banana cream” au

cardiacfragment  asked:

five favorite vader and luke fic tropes

Oooh! :D

1. Vader showing up at inopportune times and snatching his wayward child.

2. Luke sleeping and Vader staring at him and reaching out to touch him but pulling his hand away before he does because he’s scared of waking him or doesn’t feel he’s worthy to touch him.

3. Luke holding his father’s hand. GIVE IT TO ME.

4. Luke wearing his father’s cape for whatever reason. :) Bonus points if he’s wrapped in it like a burrito.

5. Vader lives post-ROTJ, (honestly, this one should be earlier in this list but I don’t feel like shuffling them around) and Luke defends him to the Alliance and makes sure he gets proper medical care.

BONUS: because I just thought of it and it can’t NOT be on here: Vader marveling at seeing his son’s face up close for the first time.
2/26/2017 check in

Breakfast: Veggie burger (Morningstar Grillers Prime) on 2 slices of bread (Sara Lee 45 cal, wheat) with avocado and 2 slices of pepper jack cheese [673 cals]

Lunch: Amy’s cheddar cheese burrito with avocado [543 cals]

Dinner: Hummus, pretzels, cherry tomatoes. Red wine [475 cals]

I just found out I don’t have to travel Tuesday-Thursday like I thought I was going to need to, so hallelujah. I’ll be able to start getting some real work done, and I’ll have more control over my meals.

I’m at 1,691 calories for the day, and honestly, still feel hungry. My stomach isn’t growling though so it might just be dehydration. Drinking more water is going to be a priority for me this week.

anonymous asked:

ur voice is so cute it makes me wanna wrap you up like a burrito in a fuzzy blanket and give u hot chocolate

i thought this said give me a furry burrito and i was like The

anonymous asked:

Hi! I saw that you were doing the "describe yourself" thing and I thought why not... I'm French-Canadian! I'm 17 going on 18, a girl, pansexual. I'm a total introvert! Like... If I could spend all my life in a burrito of blankets I would kind of introvert. I love to read, bake, draw, anything that has to do with arts. I need to give and receive L-O-T-S of love, but I can control myself. I'm 5'1", chubby and I have a pixie cut. I like quiet dates! Stay at home, park, ice cream, dates like that!

aAaah would definitely date youuu!! you sound so cute  asdfhgajfhs!! i also need lots of love and adore art :). also chubby girls are aDorable so yES!!

-mod nova

Werewolf!Jimin as a Father

(also fun fact, when I was writing this, I didn’t realize I wasn’t in my drafts and actually posted it as I was writing it bc I thought it was a draft so for everyone that read this before, I didn’t mean to post it yet sorry for any confusion!!) And now it is time for our squishy sweetheart, the actual angel, Park Jimin aka chim aka speaking of squishy can we talk about how fucking precious Park Jimin is like ??? how the hell is someone so cute so sweet I just wanna protect him and make sure he feels loved and warm and happy and just wrap him up into a blanket burrito, put on a show he likes, get him some snacks make sure he feels super happy and just protect him bc he’s so p r eciOUS

  • Original werewolf!Jimin here (part two here)
  • On the topic of pregnancy, all of the father related posts are here
  • I see chim having his bby before marriage
  • He definitely wouldn’t mind if kids came after marriage though
  • He just loves his bundle of joy, no matter when she arrives
  • If the bby comes before marriage, he’ll definitely want her to be the flower girl without a doubt
  • Bc to see his princess stumbling alongside with Jin, halfheartedly and confusedly tossing flower petals out of the basket Jin holds out to her would be adorable
  • Lil tiny Park cheeks just picture that for a second okay LIL TINY ITTY BITTY CHUBBY CHEEKS
  • But also her just being more interested in the petals themselves rather than worrying about tossing them around but then she sees Jimin and just runs for him bc “daddy!!!”
  • He’d be so smiley and just :D bc even though she’s technically not supposed to do that, it’s so fucking cute ??
  • Jin holds her while the actual ceremony takes place but she’s so excited and has no idea why she just knows everyone else is really happy
  • Freaks out when she sees Jimin start to cry (happy tears) at the reception and is just wiping his tears off as fast as she can
  • He has to explain that to her that yes dad’s fine they’re all happy tears tell me that shit doesn’t sound cute as fuck
  • But rewinding to before the lil nugget is born
  • Jimin would be such a good boyfriend tbh
  • Cuddles 25/8
  • “Hey chim what do you wanna do today??”
  • “Cuddle”
  • “What should we do for your birthday?? Do you wanna go that cute lil restaurant we saw??”
  • “Cuddle”
  • “Wanna watch a movie??”
  • “Is that your lowkey way of asking for cuddles bc yes always”
  • His favorite time to cuddle is the early morning bc sleepy cuddles !!!!
  • Lil sleepy chim just snuggling into the blankets and wrapping you up in them to share the warmth
  • You’re never cold when chim’s around
  • Bc he’s a werewolf, he’s forever warm to the touch so whenever you’re cold, you can just snuggle into him, which he’s 100% okay with no complaints whatsoever he’ll even let you share his jacket with him
  • Tries to make breakfast for you but ends up just pouring you a bowl of cereal or calling Jin over
  • Tae basically lives with you tbh
  • Of course chim’s close with everyone in the pack but tae’s his bro they’re buds they stick together
  • You’re super close to Tae as well bc it’s kind of like a package deal
  • It’s that way with all of the pack but especially with tae
  • You date one of them, you get 6 new brothers welcome to the family
  • Your couch is renamed tae’s bed
  • It isn’t rare to come home to see Tae playing some video game or watching a show, with Jimin but also sometimes it’s just him
  • Slips in his grocery list with yours bc “you guys need to have the good snacks if I’m gonna be living with you”
  • “No one invited you to live with us??”
  • “Make sure you get two of everything”
  • You don’t mind though bc while the boys do treat your home like a second house, they all respect your space too
  • They understand that sometimes you just wanna chill with chim and have a movie night or a game night or just have some sweet pillow talk that usually involves a really giggly chim
  • Bc tired!chim = giggly!chim
  • Like hysterical, tears running down his cheeks, silent laughter
  • You and chim are both v v open with each other about everything
  • He knows you wouldn’t mind a child, you know he wouldn’t mind one so when you find out you’re gonna be have a lil bby Park, you just get really excited
  • You know that smile that chim gets where his eyes do the eye smile thing and it’s so cute and the cheeks do their thing and it’s all adorableness
  • That’s the smile he gets when you tell him
  • Tae’s the first person he tells bc he walks in shortly after you tell chim with a popsicle and is just like any reason he looks like he just won the lottery??
  • Yoongi’s the second bc yoonmin trash
  • Jimin would be s o protective the entire pregnancy
  • From the day he finds out until like you’re all healed up, he’s super !!!
  • Touches the bby bump every chance he gets
  • You two could just be chilling on the couch, doing your own things and he’ll have his hand resting on the bump
  • Not really doing anything just keeping his hand there to just be like hey I’m here
  • Giggles for two weeks after feeling the bby kicks and brags about it to everyone
  • The boys that do have kids kinda just smile bc they remember feeling that way but he definitely gets a weird look from Yoongi bc the fuck you already told me she kicked, she’s been kicking for like a month chill
  • Buys literally all of the things
  • He doesn’t really realize how quickly bbys grow out of things and is getting 50 of everything and you have to tell him by the time you get to like 40th onesie, she’ll be too big for it
  • He takes every decision super seriously, whether he needs to or not
  • Things like the name and whether or not you should move into a bigger house or just live in the one you have now, those get passes bc those are big parts of it
  • “Jimin it’s been an hour just pick a damn shirt”
  • “But this one says daddy’s princess and this one says daddy’s angel SHE’S BOTH OF THOSE THINGS”
  • “Oh my god”

Hey so I’m gonna talk about my OCs for a hot minute:

Shambles and Mr. Ukes met on the Subway platform at 2 am. They were the only ones there. Shambles thought Mr. Uke’s camouflage parka was dumb. Mr. Uke liked the old school rap Shamble was playing off his phone.

They met again at an underground show because they were the only sober ones there. Shambles was flirting hard and Uke was oblivious. They went to the Taco Bell and sat eating burritos in the parking lot. Shambles spent the next few days stalking Ukes on facebook while Shambles’ ex Miss Honeypot tells him he’s obvious and a loser.

The third time was an accident where Shambles was walking by a coffee shop and spotted Ukes performing at the open mic night and so Shambles went in and watched. He was actually impressed by the energy and sincerity in his performance. He makes sure to meet up with him afterwards and give him his number. They text a lot. One night Ukes is having a major depressive meltdown and Shambles goes to Ukes’ apartment and stays up with him showing him shitty anime. Ukes kisses him before he falls asleep. The next morning they eat Lucky Charms and discuss What They Are and stuff. They make it official after that.

I just had the thought of Tony in a Captain America snuggie — one that he got custom made (of course). Just sitting down and relaxing in it, watching Saturday morning cartoons with a huge bowl of ceral in his lap as part of his normal, super secret Saturday morning routine. 

And then Steve coming home from his run an hour early, swinging open the door and Tony just leaping off the couch to try and hide himself, but tripping over the snuggie and just lying there bunched up like an accidental burrito, unable to get up when Steve just sands in the doorway and stares at him confused wondering how odd that sight is – yet how adorable. 

Such a roller coaster episode.

I have no idea how the Stans’ reunion will go but I’m 80% sure there wont be hugs (possibly punching? lol).

I’m also p sure I never want Mabel to cry again (wraps lil cinnamon roll in blanket burrito)

Have to say, I’m loving the Bill possessing Dipper ideas, but I also like the idea that Dipper’s still in control, and Bill’s just at the edge of his mind whispering paranoid thoughts to rile him up.

anonymous asked:

you probably get asked this a sHIT TON but do you think you'll continue with the "Like A Fire" story bc i am just in ♡♡♡♡ with that one and is craving for a continuation

I do get that question a lot.  I do not mind getting it. Makes me really happy Like a Fire has a lot of fans. When I was writing it I never thought it’d become this huge thing it ended up turning into. It has gotten even outside the ontae fandom and even a few fans from outside the Shawol fandom too. (Which totally took me by surprise)

It’s cute when people message me and want to talk about the fic and without even mentioning the title of the story they have loving nicknames for them which they got from the fic and I know exactly which story they are talking about.., it’s like these particular fictional ontae characters have their own fandom themselves lol:   Burrito Tae and Fireman Jinki. XD I love this story and I’m so happy others love it as much as me. XD kekekeke Thank you everyone who likes this fic, for real it means a lot to me… *hugs*

But now to answer the question…

Short answer: I’m actually not sure, but I think about it often.

Long answer:   I have thought about it… I do know what I want OnTae and even JongKey’s future to be. I even had 2 titles I’ve been thinking about calling it. Either “After the Fire” or more likely “The Fire Still Burns” …. So I could do it but I don’t think it would be as great of a story as the first. But one part of me feels: I’m afraid it would let people down because the first one was so good and my most popular story. IF I did write The Fire still Burns it’d be really short with not a of lot of chapters and suspense compared to Like a Fire and it probably wouldn’t have all the cool “fire” imagery symbolic/metaphors. Which I think would make the story bland. I might be able to fit it in :/ but I’m not confident I could and it needs to be there to tie it all together I think.  And if I mess up that theme in a sequel then the series would lose its “fire” literally. Basically I’d hate to ruin Like a Fire by making a sequel and also have the sequel be a huge flop especially on a story so many people really love.  But the other part of me feels like telling you what Fireman Jinki is up too with his young Burrito Tae and what ever happen to their bff’s  Kibum and the puppy man. Because I plan on making a really funny as hell JongKey scene.

Summary:  *heavy sigh* hmmmm, what to do, what to do…. I don’t know. I want to but what if it sucks? :/

BUT If I ever write it… at  least you know what the title will be. So, who knows, maybe one day you’ll be scrolling down my mater list and get a little surprise and see the title.

Petition for Puzzlerritos to be a thing

#puzzlerritos2K16 lolol (for those who don’t know - Puzzle + Burritos = Puzzlerritos)

Okay but seriously. I have been on this kick for some time now. Yuugi and Atem snuggled in sleeping bags like a couple of adorable nerds. Gave Atem reddish highlights, I think this is something I’m going to stick with. Yuugi and his starry pjs. And now Atem with millennium puzzle pjs~ I thought it was cute anyway XD Kinda messed up on Yuugi’s hair this time around, I’m only NOW just seeing it. Well, that’s okay. It happens lol


Nurse Yoongi

Imagine a pocket-sized curling up in a ball in agony. Maybe you shouldn’t have eaten all of the mochi that was left on the table and one the boy’s leftover candy, but you’d thought it would be ok because if you ate them at different times (not even five minutes apart) everything would fine. You realize now how wrong you were.

Yoongi, who walks over to see what you’re up to, makes the mistake of poking you in the stomach to get your attention. Immediately he regrets it as he sees your face scrunch up in pain and you groan about your stomach hurting. With a hint shakiness in his voice, Yoongi asks you what’s wrong. You slowly open your eyes and tell him that you ate too many sweets. Yoongi sighs, realizing you didn’t learn from the maknae’s mistake, relaxes his shoulders and walks out of the room.

Coming back into the room, Yoongi asks if it’s okay to move you. You nod your head, unable to speak. Carefully he picks you up and wraps you up in one of his t-shirts like a butterfly in a cocoon. Feeling a little bit better, you smile weakly as you thank Yoongi for taking care of you.

the first time I watched ‘Brother Up’, I thought it was selfish of Grizz to be hurt the second Panda got any attention, like even before the hierachy of the bearstack changed just when Charlie and Ice were congratulating Panda, Grizz made a face

but on rewatching after ‘Hibernation’, where Grizz pulls a similar face when he feels left out when they’re learning about their species, I interpreted it differently. The main thing we know about Grizz is how much he wants to be friends with everyone, and has a massive fear of abandonment as we learned in ‘Burrito’. when he’s getting attention through being loud and being the top of the stack, it’s not because he wants to be number one most important, it’s because he sees that as the very least he can do to not get left behind. he thinks of himself as last despite his position of leadership, and assumes that everyone else does too; if he assumes (and fears) that if he weren’t the oldest, and so not in charge, he would have no worth at all

idk maybe I’m reading too much into this because Grizz is such a relatable character to me