i thought it was amusing okay

Rhys looks haunted.

“Who’s going to tell them?”

He gets nothing but avoided eye contact and silent sips of coffee in return.

“I am completely serious. Someone has to say something and it really shouldn’t be me.”

He had thought that all nine of them of them taking a weekend together in the cabin would be fun–and it had been, until he’d been kept up very late by the half-muffled sounds coming from Elain and Lucien’s room. Not of sex, per say; the cabin provides what soundproofing it can, and it should be enough for all the couples to enjoy themselves without bothering each other, but Elain and Lucien had been doing something… loud. Repeatedly.

Cassian is grinning like a maniac, amused beyond all reason. “Okay, I know Rhys is uncomfortable because he’s never done anything that actually qualifies as kinky, but does anyone else think this is hilarious?”

“I object to that profiling of my sex life, Cassian.”

“You’ve never done anything weirder with Feyre than a blindfold,” Cassian says, eyebrows raised, “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, I’m just saying.”

“A blindfold is very kinky,” Rhys asserts, affronted. Mor snorts and he ignores it, focused on Cassian. “What have you two done that’s so much more exciting?”

Nesta, sitting straight as a queen, speaks before Cassian can. “If you answer that question in front of all our friends, Cas, you will never get to do any of those things ever again.”

“We’re off topic,” Feyre announces, setting down her mug of tea decisively. “The question at hand here is who is going to tell Elain and Lucien that spanking is off-limits during their time here.” Silence. She shrugs. “I think it should be Nesta.”

“I’ll do it if you want, but it won’t go well,” Nesta replies flatly. “I have a hard time not slapping the smirk off Lucien’s face on a good day.”

Cassian brandishes a spoonful of oatmeal. “Well, apparently he’s into that, so–”

“Why not Cassian?” Rhys says pointedly, “Since, as he tells us, he’s so knowledgeable about the whole area.”

“That would mortify Elain,” Feyre says, keeping them firmly on track. “It should probably be one of the girls.” Amren, in the corner, lowers her mug of blood to look less than enthused. “It should be Mor or I,” Feyre amends.

Mor gives an casual little shrug. “The noise didn’t bother me, to be honest.”

Rhys frowns in disbelief. “Surely you heard it.”

“We did.”

She does not elaborate, and Rhys suddenly finds it suspicious how quiet Azriel’s been, and how he’s not making eye contact. Cassian seems to have the same thought as he glances between the two of them.

“Mother’s tits,” Cassian says, gaping. “You guys got off on it, didn’t you?”

They don’t respond, but Mor reddens incriminatingly. Cassian’s eyes go wide and he throws his head back in a howl of laugher, over Nesta’s protestations.

Amren is surveying all of them with disdain. “I have been present for some truly insipid conversations between the lot of you but I must say, this one is exceptionally awful.”

“Now THAT’S what I mean by kinky, Rhys” Cassian proclaims, wiping tears from his eyes. “Fucking to the sounds of another couple’s pain play. Cauldron. I’m so proud.”

Rhys looks long-suffering as he turns to Feyre, takes her hand, and kisses it sweetly. “I’m so sorry, darling,” he intones dramatically. “I’ve exposed you to a nest of perverts.”

“Who’s a pervert?” Elain asks with a giggle, choosing this moment to sweep into the kitchen, bright-eyed and with a sated-looking Lucien in her wake. “Are we talking about Cassian again?”

But the whole room has gone silent. Elain falters, looking from one awkward face to the next. “What’s wrong?”

When no one answers, it’s Amren who gets up and says baldly to the two of them, “Everyone from here to Velaris could hear whatever it was you were doing last night. It made these fools uncomfortable, largely. Do with that information what you will.” In the shocked silence following, she puts her empty mug in the sink, unhurried, and heads for the door. “I’m going for a walk far away from this nonsense. If anyone needs me, you are encouraged to reconsider.”

The door slams shut behind her.

“Oh,” Elain says faintly.

“So what is your role?”

“Oh uh. I’m trained to be a biologist, but am currently a poison merchant.”
“Ah. You humans do not manufacture any biologically, so that makes sense. Is it for defence?”
“Uhm. Not really.”
“For… pest control?”
“Haha, nah. More for <<excrement and amusement>>”
“I think there was a translator issue there. What was that?”
I take it your species doesn’t do the recreational ethanol thing, eh?”
“What?!”
Look bys, its a big thing here. Fancy meals are expected to have a poison accompaniment. We brew poisons to try winning world poison competitions. We mix poisons to try and make them taste as much as fruit as possible, or as strong as possible. There’s Expensive Poisons that have smoked ingredients to taste both toxic AND burning. A bit of an acquired taste, that one.”
“….humans are weird.”

  • Vex: Okay. One question that Grog just whispered to me.
  • Laura: *glares at Travis*
  • Vex: How much is a platinum worth?
  • Shopkeeper: How much is a platinum? A platinum is worth ten gold pieces.
  • Laura: *GLARES AT TRAVIS*
  • Tiberius: She is displeased.
  • Vex: We may have a lot more money than I thought we had, because Grog's been HIDING MONEY in the bag of holding.
  • Laura: *Glares at Travis*
  • Grog: It's really shiny.
  • Laura: *is not amused*
  • Travis: I'm in trouble, Matt. I'm in trouble. She's rEALLY mAd.
Jon & Robb x Female Reader

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Imagine falling in love with Robb and Jon but instead of having to pick between them, you get both.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

\ Request from anonymous /

Hi can I have a jon and Robb love triangle with a smut and lots of fluff pls loved your one on Robb 👍🏻😍

♡ ♡ ♡ Warning: SMUT ♡ ♡ ♡

Keep reading

So you haven’t thought about him in a week. you thought leaving would be like stumbling into a black hole but instead for the first time in 10 months you’ve finally finished cleaning your room. for the first time in 10 months you went to bed on time. for the first time in 10 months you remember how great it feels to feel okay, you went to an amusement park yesterday and right before the ride dropped you thought about leaving all thoughts of him six stories high and then you were free falling while strapped in and he was gone.

when you see him next, you brace yourself for the lump in your throat but there isn’t one. you can still breathe.

you can still breathe.

—  How did you make it through this alive I know he did everything he could to make sure you didn’t– Lily Rain
3

I was thinking about Peridot and ended up wondering about my old gemsona Peri and where she would stand in canon if we can assume the theory of each gem type having multiples that fill a specific role in society is correct.

She kinda became a brand new character? Like I started wondering if Peridots are kind of the technicians and engineers of gem society? Well that’s a grand assumption since Pearl is similarly gifted in that respect, but it was fun thinking of Peri having a really robotic personality. Mostly because I was thinking she’d be really young by gem standards, sent on a one way trip to earth to pick up Peridot’s mission and see it through. 

She hasn’t really had much time to develop her personality and I just imagine she would be pretty oblivious to emotional cues and extremely blunt. Always offending Peridot without even trying to.

Maybe I’ll get to doodle more ideas another time but it was a fun thought.

Okay but Judar was in his home village all of this time. Please take a moment to imagine:

  • Judar trying to interact with the people in his village and the villagers finding him to be amusing and/or strangely endearing in his temperamental ways.
  • Judar having to wash clothes. This is really important to me for some reason. Imagine an older lady trying to show Judar how to wash his clothes without the use of magic.
  • Judar interacting with the children in his village. He comes off as really mean at first but he’s really just a big pushover when the kids manage to get through to him after weeks of pestering.
  • Judar going through this life-changing period in his home village and trying to discover himself a bit more in peace.
  • For the first few months “That’s not how [insert everyday task] was done in the palace” is said in every other sentence. He just can’t deal.
  • He’s always wondering how Alibaba or Hakuryuu are doing and all of the villagers are just like “He’s talking about them again.”
  • Peaches. Lots of peaches as gifts from children. Peaches = tolerance friendship.
  • PLEASE IMAGINE CHILDREN BRAIDING JUDAR’S HAIR FOR HIM
  • Judar spends nearly two months learning how to make makeup from one of the older women in town and he hates it but for the sake of his eyeshadow he must do this.
  • “What do you mean I have to help bring in the harvest?”
  • While magic is amusing, it’s seen as a way for him to cheat his way out of chores like the other villagers.
  • There’s always that one old lady who is constantly mistaking him for a girl and telling him he’ll make a nice bride someday.
2

Okay so why did I post these pics?

So on the Disney Cruise, there is a place called Animator’s Palate and they have a special show all over the restaurant where you draw someone in this template and at the end of dinner, these drawings will be shown all over, dancing around, even in some old Disney shorts and movies.

So I thought it would be quite amusing to draw aph Germany for my mom’s friend who she says can’t draw (That’s why it says “Andrea?”) and aph Russia. But why the flip flop did I pick these two? Simple! They’re my two favorite Hetalia characters.

And the result was beautiful and I WAS CRYING IT WAS SO HILARIOUS

LOOK AT GERMANY DOING A THING

RUSSIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

GERMANY IS FUCKING ICE SKATING  AND DABBING AT THE SAME TIME

Wtf is Russia doing???

THEN GERMANY WAS DANCING WITH NONE OTHER THAN DONALD DUCK

LOOK AT HIM GO HOW IS GERMANY NOT BREAKING HIS PELVIC AREA???? (also my bro on the right loling)

At the end of the show, ME AND MY BROTHER WERE D Y I N G OF LAUGHTER OF THIS SIN I COMMITTED 

based on this frickin hilarious video go watch it now (also on a03)

Derek gets a call from an unknown number at 10:27am. It happens sometimes, telemarketers, and quite often for the nannying agency that’s one digit off his mobile. Today is a new one.

“Hello, this is Derek.”

“Oh, hi. Okay. Hi, I’m Stiles,” comes a surprised voice from the other end.

“Hi Stiles.”

“So, Derek, this is going to sound strange, but I’m just about to go in for a job interview in three minutes, and I had to fill out this list of references and I was short a number so I wrote down a random one, then thought I should call it to see if it was real. And it is, it’s yours.”

“So you just wrote down a random number as a reference?” Derek asks, confused and also a little amused.

“Yes, that’s right. And look, I’m going in soon, and getting this job would be really great, and so would you mind if I keep your number on the list? They probably won’t call but I–”

“Go for it,” Derek interrupts. What’s the harm in it? He can cross off that he’s done his one nice thing for the day, and this Stiles is right, he probably won’t even get a call.

“Seriously? Ah, okay that’s amazing. Thank you.”

“What’s the job?” Derek asks, grabbing a pen and paper to write it down. He’s warming up to the idea of doing this fake reference thing. It’ll be a laugh if nothing else.

“So it’s an IT position with Saris and Fehr Legal. System maintenance, software security, a bunch of stuff really, but don’t worry about it too much, I just had you down as a personal reference?”

Stiles asks it like a question, showing some nerves, and Derek realises he’s essentially admitting he doesn’t know enough people who’d give him a positive reference.

“Oh well that’s easy enough then, I’ll just say that I’ve known you for years, talk about how you’re organized, trustworthy, etcetera,” Derek’s been a reference for some of his friends before, he knows the drill.

“Ah, yeah, sounds great. Wow. You sure about this?”

“It’s fine, Stiles. It’ll make my day more interesting at any rate.”

“Wow,” Stiles repeats, clearly surprised by Derek’s immediate cooperation. “So it’s Stiles Stilinski, not sure I gave you my last name.”

“No, you didn’t,” he says, writing down Stiles’ surname phonetically. “Mine’s Hale. Derek Hale.”

“Hale,” Stiles repeats, while Derek can hear the sound of a pen moving across paper through the phone. “Alright, I’ve got to go now but thanks so much, Derek. It means a lot.”

“You’re welcome,” Derek says, smiling at how relieved Stiles sounds. “Good luck for the interview.”

Keep reading

sit on my face ( jun drabble )

“Okay, but what if like, I suffocate you?” You asked, ass propped upwards as you lowered your head in thought, Jun’s eyeroll almost audible beneath you.

“I’d be hurt if you didn’t”

“Be serious, Jun.”

He breathed out his nose, already over your apprehension as his hands tried to bulge you forward.

“Fuck, why are you so sturdy?” Jun mumbled, angry as you looked down at him with amusement.

“You calling me fat?”

“Not you, maybe your ass though.”

You slapped at Jun again, his giggling making you rock above him as you laughed along. But the laughter died out quickly as Jun’s sights zeroed back in on your form straddled atop him.

You looked down at him, biting your lip as Jun grappled at your ass tighter.

“It’s okay, babygirl. My face is your own personal seat.”

You wanted to laugh as Jun grinned cheekily beneath you, but you felt too zoned out as your body began to lower itself on its own accord.

Jun’s grin disappeared rather quickly as he watched you, a wolffish look overtaking his features.

You drifted down to him, until you could feel his breath playing inside of your lips as you felt yourself stretched out above him, and Jun was beginning to strain against you helplessly.

“Y/n, please, sit on my fucking face.”

You weren’t one to deny Jun often, and so as you finally gathered the courage to lower yourself down, you were overcome with an insane amount of pleasure the second his hands gripped your ass and moved you flatly across his tongue, and you felt yourself push forward in pleasure, almost losing your balance if not for jun.

“Fuck.” He tried to mumble, under the weight of your heat on him, his eyes closed as he began to lap viciously at everything he could, lewd slurping noises erasing your thoughts as you couldn’t focus on anything else.

You looked down at him, his eyes still closed as his fingers held you tight enough to leave bruises as you whined, his large pink tongue leaving traces across your pussy that had you shaking uncontrollably.

His moans were vibrating through you, and his tongue had you quickly reaching for the headboard as you began to breathe out heavier by the second.

Jun’s tongue was playing around your clit, nipping at you and sucking on your lips as you struggled to hold yourself up, unsure if you could prop yourself up any longer.

“J-Jun, I don’t…” You tried telling him, feeling yourself grow weaker as his nose began to nudge at your clit as his tongue dipped inside of your wet entrance.

Jun’s grip only tightened, gluing you to his mouth as you yelled in surprise, your insides rumbling as Jun moaned again, his eyes still shut as he lapped at you like you were quenching his thirst, his swallows turning you on even more.

Your muscles were sore and straining as you felt your orgasm fast approach, Jun’s grip for sure leaving bruises as you began to feel him rock you against his lips and tongue, the friction and wetness bringing you closer and closer to your climax.

“Fuck, Jun I’m gonna-oh God.” You let out one drawn out moan as you started to shake against your own will, squeezing the headboard as you vibrated atop of Jun’s mouth, riding out your orgasm.

But quickly after, your oversensitivity took over.

“Jun-ah, there-” you tried, batting your hands at Jun’s that were clamped around your hips as he moaned into you, still eating you out beneath you as you shivered.

“Jun-that’s enough.” You tried, moving further away from him as he drank you in, his mouth following your pussy as you tried lifting yourself up, and you wanted to scream.

“J-Jun, no more, I’m-fuck.” Unwillingly, another orgasm hit you, one you didn’t even see coming, and you felt yourself fall against the headboard, smashing your nose against it, and you cried out in slight pain.

“Y/n? Oh fuck.” Jun removed himself finally as he looked up, watching you rub your forehead in slight annoyance and confusion, and you felt him remove himself from under you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, coming up close as you felt your butt connect with bed sheets rather than Jun’s mouth, and you looked up at him, genuine concern on his face, that turned into confusion as you began to laugh.

“Y/n, did you hit your head too hard?” He mumbled, touching your forehead as you tried to stop your giggling, watching as he looked on in confusion.

“No, but-” you started, reaching a finger out and swiping at Jun’s lips, watching as he furrowed his eyebrows. “You have uh, a little something on your face.”

With realization slowly getting him, he rolled his eyes, moving in to kiss you as you shied away from him quickly.

“Ew, gross.” You mumbled, laughing as Jun began to wipe his face.

“Delicious.” He wiggled his brows, popping a finger in his mouth as you scrunched your eyebrows up.

“Feel like going again?” He smirked at you, hands already making for your ass as you moved away from, getting up and making your way towards the bathroom as you looked back towards his slightly confused face.

“Meet me in the bathroom.” You mumbled, watching in amusement as he shot off the bed, grabbing at you and throwing you over his shoulder easily, his feet hurrying towards the room.

“Let’s just hope we don’t slip in there.”

“No promises, babe.”

Okay

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of self hatred/suicidal thoughts, handjobs, fingering

Word count: 1679 words

Description: 19 y/o Dan’s in uni and gets stressed with all the studying and everything so Phil tries to help him to relax

A/N: Basically I hate finals and i want someone like the Phil in my stories to cuddle me until I’m happy again

-

-

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Are you okay?” Phil asked, smiling in amusement at Dan’s pout.


“No, I’m not fucking okay!” Dan shrieked, and Phil’s smile vanished at the seriousness in his voice.

Phil didn’t say anything as Dan dropped all the paper he had on the table, shuffled towards him on the couch, and then curled up with his head on his lap. Phil leaned down, kissing Dan’s cheek, and holding him snug.

Keep reading

The Other - Part 3 - Smut

Author: @dumbass-stilinski
Rating: NSFW 18+
Pairing: Stuart Stilinski/Reader/Void!Stuart
Words: 3,151
AN: Okay so here is Part 3. There will be one more part. Thanks to @toppunks for reading and fixing my half asleep mistakes for me.

Prologue
Part 1
Part 2



You watched slack jawed as Void got dressed. He chuckled, amused by your speechlessness. “You honestly can’t say you didn’t see this coming.”

You hadn’t. “I don’t understand.”

“Stiles thought he had this all planned out, but he was wrong.” He pulled Stuart’s beanie over his head. “He wanted to get rid of Stuart and I was going to let him, but when I saw all those things in Stuart’s head about you, I had to see for myself what the big deal was.”

You frowned, your arms instinctively crossing over your naked chest.

He walked closer, leaning forward so he was right in front of you. “I wasn’t disappointed.”

Keep reading

It always amuses me how life works. It only allows a certain amount of people to circulate in our lives. It’s quite convenient how when one relationship ends, another would soon begin. It’s as if life is sending us a message saying, “Hey look, people come and go, but those that come, embrace them, and those that leaves, let them. It’s going to be okay. You will be okay. Cherish the lessons that each individual bring, and thank them even if it’s the painful ones.
— 

-I think that’s when I knew I was going to be okay. 

-m.t.t.

Siblings should not double date (Sirius x reader)

Request: Hi! I found your blog recently and it’s amazing! You really know how to write the characters, you know, in character c: I wanted to know if you could write an imagine, if it’s not too much trouble, where the reader is dating Sirius and one of her friends asked her to come to a double date with her and turns out her friend’s date is Regulus? And the reader tries to distract Sirius from it and it’s really cute? If you don’t want to it’s okay!


“I’m just so nervous about it, (Y/N), it would really mean a lot if you could do this for me,” Sophie grasped your hands. Wow, you really like this guy, you thought with an amused smile.

“Of course,” You agreed. “Sirius would break down doors for chances to sneak out after curfew. Not that he needs any, but still.” The two of you giggled. 

“This is going to be so great!” She beamed. “He’s going to meet us right outside the portrait tonight at 10:30 p.m.!” 

“I’ll make sure we’re not late,” you promised.

Her eyes were positively radiant. “This is going to be the best!”


“This is the worst,” Sirius grimaced.

“Sirius,” you warned. Regulus Black pushed off the banister with a grin frozen on his face, as Sophie bounced towards him. It was probably better than you couldn’t hear what either of them said. 

Keep reading


“Turbo. Earth to Fitz. Are you tuned in? You stopped right in the middle of explaining this… reactor… thing, to me.”

Fitz blinked, realizing he had just gotten lost by staring at Mack again. The taller man was standing next to him, hands rested on his hips and his eyebrows drawn together as he watched Fitz expectantly.

Looking down, Fitz prodded the device with little interest. Right. He’d been saying something about that. 

“Ehm… I lost my train of thought.”

Mack sighed loudly, shrugging his shoulders. “Okay. You were just going over the chemical properties that make–”

“No, no, no,” Fitz suddenly cut him off, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. “I can demonstrate…”

Mack brought up his hands and took a quick step back; his expression was a mixture of amused and confused. “Woah there, you just told me that the energy is powerful. I may not be a super genius, but I can keep up fine without you showing me something like that.”

Biting his lip, Fitz rocked from his heels to his toes, wringing his hands. “No. That’s not what–okay. You,” he reached up to put either hand on Mack’s shoulders, patting them, “Wait here. And I,” he looked over with a small, sly grin as he headed to the door, “Will be right back.”

He took off, then, running out the doorway and making his way down the hall to the janitor’s closet. Scanning the mess, Fitz soon found what he was looking for, hoisting it up and briskly walking back to where Mack was waiting.

“…I take it back. Turbo, that’s a stool. Are you okay?”

“Better than ever,” Fitz replied almost breathlessly, finding it hard to maintain even automatic functions right now with this idea. He swallowed and stared Mack straight in the face as he set the stool down in front of the taller agent. “Okay. Just. You need, to, to… not move.”

He carefully stood up on the wooden stool, finding that with the six inches of height it provided, that still left two more. 

There was a long couple of seconds where Fitz was just staring at Mack, who stared–albeit confused–back.

“Fitz–”

Mack was cut off when the younger engineer, still standing on his tiptoes even on the stool, grabbed him and pulled him closer, their lips connecting with a hard bump.

Neither pulled away. Fitz breathed loudly through his nose as he tried his best to make the kiss last, while Mack quickly reciprocated, bringing a hand up to brush over Fitz’s short hair.

Then Mack moved his hand away to wrap both of his arms around Fitz, easily picking him up and holding him close against his chest as they kissed; Fitz wrapped his legs around his partner’s lower torso, leaning into him and clutching on his shirt almost for dear life, their lips never breaking apart–

–“Oi! Today’s been a pretty lazy day so I thought I’d freshen it up with a coupla–”

Hunter’s eyes met Fitz’s over Mack’s shoulder for a split second before Mack pulled away to turn and look.

“Nope. Don’t even bother. I’m leaving! I’m gone. Good on you, mates!" 

Neither Fitz nor Mack moved, still holding onto each other and looking over to where Hunter had left. 

From down the hall, they heard a shout.

"AY DIRECTOR! YA OWE ME A TWENTY!”

Einstürzende Neubauten songs summed up by Louise Belcher

Originally posted by tinarannosaurus


Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds songs summed up by Gene Belcher

Originally posted by abductingmysoul


Rowland S. Howard songs summed up by Tina Belcher

Originally posted by tina-belch

Fun thing I did to amuse myself.  Earlier while listening to Six Strings That Drew Blood I thought about Tina Belcher’s quote, “Oh it’s okay.  I guess I wasn’t meant to have a good life” and originally wanted to use that, but I think the one I ended up using is more accurate.  Then I needed the other Belcher children to represent the two other bands.  Louise’s personality can work for either Nick Cave or Neubauten but her use of the fake nails had me decide to use her for Neubauten.  Gene’s quote is perfect for many of Nick Cave’s songs.

This is only for fun and should in no way be taken too seriously to be nit-picked.

After Tord leaves the house
  • Matt: Edd, we brought someone to cheer you up.
  • Tom: His name is Todd, and he's eager to be our new best friend.
  • Todd: Hello there, chum! I understand you miss your buddy. Have a pudding pop!
  • Edd: No, thanks, I don't--
  • Todd: Who wants to go to an amusement park?
  • Edd: ...Well, I guess that sounds okay.
  • Todd: Have a good time!
  • Todd: Hey, I heard your friend Tord is back.
  • Edd: What?! Really?
  • Todd: No. I just thought you would enjoy that for a moment.

okay but imagine Link and Ghirahim finally chilled the heck out after awhile, so they’re just hanging out and Link being the sleepy baby he is puts his head on Ghirahim’s lap and half dozes and Ghirahim just like idly pets Link’s face and then gets bored but Link isn’t being entertaining so he starts like pulling his ears and pinching his cheeks and squishing his nose and is amused because Link grumbles but is too sleepy to roll away. what is dignity anymore they don’t even care