I think you find heaven in me too often
where hell resides.
You’re finding beauty in my pain,
but when the tears fall
you can’t even look me in the face.
I think I thought it would be different this time.
Maybe the fire would be tamed,
maybe things wouldn’t live in this dark place
but I’ve fallen flat in a disgrace.
If this is a race
I’ve fallen behind.
If you search for salvation in me,
if I pray to you,
we’ll both fall to our knees.
Tempting God, a repeat of history.
I think maybe we better shut the lights off
and look away.
If your hands find me in the dark,
I’ll shy away.
If my fingers brush your skin,
you’ll scream in pain.
In these circles of hell,
things remain this way.
Until one of us changes,
until one of us breaks.
But we’ll continue to play this game anyway.