i thought i had mono for an entire year

Wayne's World Sentence Starters.
  • “Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?”
  • “If it’s a severed head I’m going to be very upset.’
  • ”You know, if you’re not careful, you’re going to lose me.“
  • ”We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net!“
  • "If you were an ice cream flavor, you’d be pralines and dick.”
  • “Am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed to say, ‘It’s OK, I don’t mind, I don’t mind’? Well, I mind! I mind big time!”
  • “And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.”
  • “Sometimes I wish I could boldly go where no man has gone before… ”
  • “In French, she would be called "la renarde” and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her.“
  • ”Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?“
  • "Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.”
  • “What do you do if every time you see this one incredible person, you think you’re gonna hurl?”
  • “If you blow chunks and they come back, they’re yours. But if you spew and they bolt, then it was never meant to be.”
  • “I’d never done a crazy thing in my life before that night.”
  • “I just hoped you didn’t think it sucked.”
  • “Imagine being magically whisked away to… Delaware.”
  • “All I have to say about that is 'asphinctersayswhat’.”
  • “I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.”
  • “It will be mine. Oh yes. It will be mine.”
  • “ That’s what she said.”
  • “It’s sucking my will to live! Oh, the humanity!”
  • “They makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.”
  • “Ah yes, it’s a lot like "Star Trek: The Next Generation”. In many ways it’s superior but will never be as recognized as the original.“
  • "You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
  • “Led Zeppelin didn’t write tunes everybody liked. They left that to the Bee Gees.”
  • “I have an extensive collection of name tags and hairnets.”
  • “Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.”
  • “It certainly does suck.”
  • “Just get over it and go out with somebody else.”
  • “We fear change.”
  • “The guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn’t die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?”
  • “Hey, if you’re gonna spew, spew into this.”
  • “No, no I mean it, man. I love you.”
  • “Well, the world’s a twisted place.”
  • “I’m having a good time…NOT.”
  • “Yeah, and if a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump its ass when it hopped.”
  • “It’s like a new pair of underwear: At first, it’s constrictive, but after awhile it becomes a part of you.”
  • “You’re partied out, man. Again.”
  • “Will you still love me when I’m in my carbohydrate, sequined-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties, waking-up-in-a-pool-of-your-own-vomit, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase?”
  • “First he screws me, then he screws you. It’s Dutch door action.”
  • “Yep, this is definitely the kind of apartment I’ll have if I ever move out of my parents’ basement.”