i think this might be one of those over-used doctor songs

13 Reasons Why: Let’s talk about Alex Standall

Do we only see what we want to see?

While we were all grieving Hannah Baker,  consumed with secretly hating everyone she blamed, we didn’t notice Alex and his kind soul. Warning spoilers below!!

Let’s be honest, the whole time we watched, we judged everyone in Hannah’s life, for not noticing the things that were changing about her, and how each of those things brought her closer to her death. Unlike Hannah’s people, we noticed the little things she’d say that—from our point of view—made it hella obvious she was suicidal.

I worried more for Tyler, the creepy photography kid. Everyone treated him like trash, constantly told to “disappear” and “go away”. Yet, in the end I found myself incredibly surprised Alex Standall tried to kill himself. After we hear the Principal tell Mr. Porter, Alex had shot himself— I found myself wondering, WTF did I miss?

The writers of 13 Reasons Why were incredibly clever in slipping his suicide in. It serves as a reminder that, it is NOT simple to determine if someone will commit suicide. More so, if they’ve never attempted to, leaving us with no reason to watch them so closely.

WTF did I miss?

If you go over 13 Reasons Why a second time— after knowing Alex shoots himself— you’ll see details you disregarded before, as anyone would. Take for example the small discussion Alex and Troy (from his band club) have. Alex is asked if hes alright by a girl in his band club. He responds Yes, and hesitantly says he’s overslept (a symptom of depression, btw). Less than a minute later he speaks about song choice with Troy:

Alex: If they want a spirit raiser how about “Gloomy Sunday”?

Troy: Are you serious? That song’s totally depressing.

Alex: Or it’s beautiful, if you have taste.

Troy: Or if you’re suicidal.

Alex then walks off. He takes a breath and runs his hands over his hair. We dismiss his reaction as one pertaining to Hannah’s own suicide, but in a second take, he might have already begun pondering his own.

Prior to this even, his clothing goes from colorful, to dark t-shirts. He repeatedly arrives late, and has been seeing a doctor regularly, as seen in episode 2 when the school office clerk makes a remark ( “another doctor’s note?”). He goes on to a physical altercation, and having bouts of anger as he rips “Suicide is not the answer” type posters from the school walls.

In episode 12, while Hannah’s reasons gather around to discuss why they must protect their secret and what their futures will lose, Alex says “I’ve got no plans, I’m good to tell the truth.”

He’s later seen at home, putting finishing touches on his newly clean and organized room.

All of his actions point to depression and suicidal ideation. Total plot twist and eye opener for those of us, *cough* me *cough* , who think they can pick up on suicidal cues.

*crosses finger for second season*

I know, the show did end rather nicely, but I’m attached to these characters now! There could be a whole separate story line for Alex Standall. We can assume he died, but what if he didn’t. I’m sure others will be affected by his act. I just want more okay?!

I wonder, what did you think of it all? Were you not surprised he shot himself? I’d love to hear about it!

anonymous asked:

soooo happy that FMM claire has a bun in the oven!!! would love to see a classic pregnancybrain moment that she gets to share with jamie. mine hit me worst at 5 or 6 weeks in!

Flood my Mornings: Eggs

Notes from Mod Bonnie:

  • This story takes place in an AU in which Jamie travels through the stones two years after Culloden and finds Claire and his child in 1950 Boston.
  • Previous installment:  The First Step (Misunderstanding over Claire’s application+ baby news)


Jamie came awake and jumped out of bed in one single second, stumbling toward the sound of her voice in the kitchen. Stumbling; not running.  He knew from her tone that there was no danger to hand: a ‘goddamnit’ of frustration only. Nonetheless, it was the middle of the night, and Claire—unpredictable and mad as she was, on the whole—didn’t usually take to screaming at random

She was standing over the stove, her hands in fists at her sides and her robe slipping off her shaking shoulders.

“Claire, love?” He put a hand on the small of her back. “Have ye burned yourself?” 

“NO, the—blasted stove is broken—" She was agitated and angry and looked as though she were going to lay a kick to the offending appliance. “I just wanted to scramble eggs but they’re not—not—cooking!

“No? What’s wrong, d'ye think?” he asked, glancing at the pan, which sure enough, held only wet, raw eggs.

“The damned—stove is broken—” she repeated, teeth gritted in frustration as she gestured wildly at the item in question. “I just don’t understand, it was working fine at dinner—but — ”

She gulped air. Then, she burst into tears. 

“Och, hey, shhhh it’s no matter, lass,” he said, half-laughing as he pulled her to him and hugged her tight. “Hey, now, it’s alright—we’ll get a repairman out, if we must—”

She sobbed into his shoulder. “I’ve been trying for ten minutes and I don’t—I don’t—I just wanted EGGS —

“Dinna fash, mo nighean donn,” He choked back a laugh and only rubbed her back, swaying her as though they were dancing cheek-to-cheek, like the song said. “Here, let me make ye something that doesna require heati ” He went mute, gobbled for a moment, then pursed his lips hard together, his wame now convulsing madly from the effort not to burst out laughing . 

“What?” she said sharply at his sudden silence. She pulled back enough to glare at him. “WHAT?” 

Without a word, but with his lips quivering, he released one hand from her waist, reached over….and turned on the Stovetop.

You willna laugh, James Fraser. 


But thank GOD his pregnant wife cackled first. 

She dropped her forehead against his shoulder, wrapped her arms around his neck, and positively SHOOK with laughter, bringing him right along with her . They slumped against each other, hooting like the wee fools they were.

“Oh Jesus H. CHRIST, what is WRONG with me??” she moaned as she stepped away from him a few minutes later, wiping away tears and still giggling.

“Dinna fash yourself,” he said, turning the Stove off again. “It’s common early in a woman’s carrying, no? To feel a bit daft from time to time?”

“Well, yes, so they say, but—”

“Jen told me once that when she was newly wi’ child (I think it was wi’ Wee Jamie, come to think ) she lost her favorite book of French folktales and was near-distraught. Then the next planting season, she was turning the soil of the kailyard and up came Contes des Fées along with the rotted cabbage roots.”

“Oh, Jenny,” Claire hooted, leaning back against the counter. “Well, that does make me feel a bit less insane. It’s just so strange—I don’t remember anything of the sort with Faith or Brianna.” 

“No, indeed?”

“I should have thought that by my third pregnancy, I would have seen it all! Apparently not!”

He stepped into her arms and kissed her deeply. He didn’t want to voice the sad thoughts running through his mind. The still-raw grief from the loss of Faith. That at this phase of her last pregnancy, Claire had been close to starvation from months of war on the slow march toward Culloden. Much might have been missed, amid that bleak time; much had been missed, since. 

But those sorrows were of another life, and had no place in the foolish glee of this night. He said only, “No child of ours would make things easy for us, would they?”

“No indeed.” She rubbed her abdomen and made a stern face at it. “Just don’t make Mummy jump off a cliff or anything permanent, alright, little one?”  

Jamie grinned and added his hand, spanning them both. “Aye, young Fraser, be nice to your Mama, or you’ll have ME to answer to.”  They both sighed then, with twin, happy, humming sounds. 

Jamie did some quick calculation. “It’ll be August, aye?”

She smiled and nodded. “I think so—can’t say for sure precisely when we conceived, but yes, August approximately.” She suddenly groaned. “Oh, LORD, that means I’ll be carrying a 7-, 8-, and 9-month baby in SUMMER.” 

“Well, never you fear, Sassenach: I’ll be here with all the lemonade and cool cloths ye might desire.” 

“Well, that sounds much better than last time. God, this time next year, we’ll have him or her with us. Can you imagine?” She beamed. 

As did he, imagining. A new bairn. A wee brother or sister for Brianna. Getting to see Claire carry a child in peace and under the care of doctors. Getting to hold his child from the moment they would be born…. 

He kissed her temple. “Go sit yourself down, mo ghraidh, while I make ye some eggs.”

“Oh, no, I can do it!” She turned toward the Stovetop, catching up the Spatula. “Now that I know it’s just a matter of turning ON the bloody —”

He turned her firmly away and settled her into the chair. “I insist.” 

“You really don’t have to wait on me hand and foot, Jamie—I’m perfectly capable, and for all my teasing, I don’t expect royal treatment.” 

“Aye, I ken that. But it’s my joy to take care of ye, Sassenach. Always, but—particularly now that you’re carrying our child.” He took the Spatula from her hand in a manner that brokered no argument.

She sighed and then grinned up at him. “Well in that case, I’d feel much better cared for if you’d put cheese on the top.”

“Your wish is my command, your majesty.” He opened the Frigidaire, peering. “Sorry, I dinna think we have any.” 

“No, no, I know we do,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows and glancing confidently around the kitchen. “Just had it in my hand a few min—ohforfuck’ssake—

She walked with dignity to the counter, and oh-so-casually picked up the block of cheese.  

From the soap dish. 

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Having been the witness to a truly revolting Twitter exchange between people I am proud to call friends/fellow creators and a younger subset of the fandom who somehow finds us all disgusting, I would like to point out three reasons for their behavior:

1.       They have no patience/imagination. Instantaneous access to information on multiple platforms has made the majority of the populace significantly less patient overall, but the younger members of fandom especially so.  Their lack of patience and their lack of imagination leads them to write 582 word “one-shots” that end before the couple kiss and they bleat ad nauseum about their couples being endgame and canon as if that is some sort of defining status for OTPs that renders all others inferior.  It’s ridiculous, of course, because those of us who have been in fandom since the fanzine days know how many zillions of hours we spent in chat rooms poring over the latest episodes, interviews, and articles for every scrap of subtext or how many thousands of words we wrote trying to capture that heart-wrenching hurt/comfort moment when the surly, grumpy brunette realizes how in love she is with the innocent, prone-to-kidnapping blonde.  A canon f/f ship was unheard of and we didn’t care. We still don’t.  Give me a non-canon couple with chemistry, a decent, workable relationship, and longing looks and I will ship it harder than any weak tea canon wannabe equivalent.  Canon is not now and never has been a measuring stick for any f/f couple’s validity.  

2.       They see any woman over 30 in the same way they see their mothers—disrespectfully and misogynistically.  The only women over 30 these girls have exposure to on a regular basis are their mothers, aunts, grandmothers, and teachers.  They notoriously see them only in one role and cannot ascribe to them any other role, lest their tiny little minds explode. In their minds, a woman cannot simultaneously be a mother and a sexual being with a serious—let’s say—praise!kink because they absolutely do not want to think of their own mothers in that way. I was twelve once.  I remember how disrespectfully I treated my mother, too. Here’s the thing, though—I grew up. I became older than 30 and I was still sexual, still vibrant, still in possession of all my sexual cravings, and—most importantly—still 110% into fandom and its culture.  Which brings me to my third reason for their behavior…

3.       Fear.  When you are that young and that ageist and you find out that there are women—GASP—over 30 in your fandom, you start to realize that these same women who all have vivacious, energetic, active imaginations and who contribute to fandom with fic or art or gifsets, etc. could be your English teacher, or your aunt, or your mom’s best friend, or the nurse at your doctor’s office, or—GASP—your own mother.  Mrs. Aiken, droning on about proofs and vectors and graphing in your 4th period geometry class might actually be a fandom favorite on Tumblr who likes to genderbend River Song from story to story in her fic just to see how many different Doctors she can surprise.  Mrs. Bennett who lives across the street and always buys full-sized Snickers for Halloween might really be your fandom’s most prolific Coffee Shop AU writer who has a penchant for fluff and the occasional babyfic.  Or your own mother, who makes you clean your room and says you spend too much time on your phone, might have had another life as a slash writer when the Internet was still new and fandoms still talked via mailing list—except maybe she wrote Kirk/Spock slash and was way more into angst than you.  I mean, you had to get it from somewhere, right?

In conclusion, enjoy your youth while you have it, kiddos.  One day, you’ll be the “gross” one in the fandom and you’ll write one of these missives to a gaggle of snot-nosed teenagers, too.  Or maybe you won’t.  Maybe you’ll think back on your own absolutely appalling manners and your utterly vile narrow-mindedness and you’ll be too fucking embarrassed to say a word.

Obviously that’s not your problem right now—though maybe it should be.

Master Solangelo Fanfiction/One Shots Post:

Just Cute:

Today Your Barista Is…- Nico’s a barista and his coworker Percy decided to have a little fun with the menu sign outside. 

The Overdue Book- After waiting for a book for weeks, Nico decided to track down the idiot who won’t turn it in.

Don’t Throw Books at the Cute Guy- After getting in trouble for throwing a book at an annoying guy in class, Nico finds himself stuttering a somewhat sincere apology.

My Neighbor is a Stripper- After several months of trading smiles with the mysterious neighbor at his apartments, Nico runs into him in a very awkward situation.

Lab Accident- After missing out on a lab in class, Will has to make it up after school with the school’s It Boy and he can’t help how clumsy he is.

Please Save Me from the Train Creep- Will asks a stranger’s help to get a creepy guy on the train to stop staring at him. 

Those Are NOT Mine- After fooling around with his secret boyfriend, an accidental memoir is left behind. 

Cafe Discount, Maybe- The cafe has a Valentine’s Day Discount for couples, so… why not pretend? 

Don’t Flirt With My Boy-FUCK- After a mutual decision to go to a party separately, Nico is trying not to make it obvious he’s jealous when someone flirts with his secret boyfriend.

Drunk Confessions- “We were drunk and confessed love to each other and on the next day everyone congratulate us about getting together and this is awkward because we don’t remember anything”

Who Are Those People- The very hot very mysterious boy living across the hall in his college dorm seems to always have someone new over, and Will is burning with curiosity to know what they do all night.

Oh No, the Landlord’s Hot- Nico makes a petition to lower the rent and is surprised when one resident challenges the sense behind it. (Spoiler alert, it’s the landlord.)

(Mortal) Camp Half-Blood- Camping is never fun, but it could be with a cute camp leader….

The Least You Could Do- After a messy break up, Nico wants to show he can move on and date someone else… even though they might not know it. 

Soccer Injuries- After getting hurt in a soccer game, Nico can’t help but get flustered by the volunteer medic helping him. 

Tacos- New to college, Nico can’t keep a proper diet. Good thing he has a friendly neighbor. 

Just A Little Lost- An art major in the science department… oops. But hey, there’s a very hot neuroscience major willing to help. 

Hello, Are You My Date?- A very attractive boy goes up to Will thinking he’s his blind date. Now Will finds himself in the best date he’s ever had… but his name is Alex now.

Who the Hell Are You?- After taking a break from work, Will returns to see someone else in his spot. Not only is his new worker arrogant and annoying, he’s also flirtatious and… confusing. 



Not Said to Me- Ways You Said “I Love You” Prompt

Just Stay Awake- It was supposed to be their anniversary, not a tragedy. 

A Promise to Myself- *Trigger warning: Cheating* Nico finds some very unnerving messages on Will’s laptop… but Will wouldn’t do that. 

White Horse- *Trigger warning: Cheating* Inspired by several Taylor Swift songs, follow the rise and fall of Nico and Will’s relationship.

The Story of Us- Closure to the story above.

Forever Yours & Forever Mine-  *Trigger warning: violence, abuse (not sexual)* Falling in love with a psychopath could be deadly. This story contains descriptive violence. Reader’s discretion is advised. THIS IS SIMPLY TO GO WITH THE HALLOWEEN THEME. 


Nightmares and Solace- Nico struggles with his trauma and can’t sleep without the help of his new friends in the Apollo cabin, and of course his very sweet boyfriend. 

Flowers and Tattoos- A tattoo artist used to prejudice catches the eye of a kind florist assistant across the street. Now every day he gets to work, there’s a new flower with a new meaning waiting for him. 

A Whisper in the Ear- The Way you said I Love You Prompt 

The “Straight” Roommate- Nico knows he’s straight. And he’s not homophobic…. So why does his roommate’s gay relationship bother him so much?

A Prank Gone Too Far- Will and Nico just wanted to prank their friends into thinking they were dating… they weren’t supposed to believe it. 

About Kit-Kat- Will’s cat keeps disappearing. To Will’s shock and excitement, his cat managed to befriend his favorite author. 

My First Kiss Went a Little Like This- Worried that Nico might not actually like him, Will asks Nico how long it’ll be before he shows a little more affection than just holding hands. 

You’re a Song- After looking on at a few or more dance rehearsals at his performing arts school, Nico finds himself entranced by one specific dancer. 

Everything’s Bigger Better in Texas- New to the state, and new to college, Nico manages to befriend a local that might turn into something more. Who could resist that Texas twang?

The New Kid- There’s a new boy in school and no one seems eager to say hi. Except for Will. 

Sick Days- Nico came down with the flu, and of course his doctor boyfriend is there to nurse him to health. 

Gravity- Based on Twilight’s “imprinting,” Nico, who takes the alpha position on accident, finds himself imprinting on a boy. 

Mix of Angst and Fluff:

I Never Meant to Fall in Love- From the first date to the possible last, Nico and Will never meant to fall in love, and now that they have, they don’t want to let it go either. 

Fireworks- After three little words make Nico panic, he immediately regrets what he did, but has no idea how to fix it. 

Just A One Night Stand- No one ever wants much to do with him. So why would Will be any different? He just didn’t expect to see him the next day….

Roommates and More- After witnessing a traumatizing death at the hospital, Will gains the courage to finally make a move on the roommate he’d been crushing on for months. 

Burn- With inspiration from Hamilton’s soundtrack, this one shot is about Nico and Will building the dream relationship only for a mistake and secret exposed to ruin it. Forgiveness is hard to reach…. Can you imagine?

Soulmate AUs:

Our Handwriting- They weren’t supposed to be the leads in the school play. They weren’t supposed to become friends. Their handwriting however says otherwise. 

The Song In My Head- Will can’t get old Disney songs out of his head, and Nico can’t stop recalling songs he’d never heard before. 


The Big Day- The day Lily is born, the day Will and Nico finally get to hold their little girl. 

A Day at Home- Nico being a stay-at-home dad. 

Just a Joke- Lily comes home crying and neither Will or Nico know why or how to fix it. 

I Saw Mommy Daddy Kissing Santa Claus- Christmas morning, Santa is the enemy for Nico and Will’s daughter. 

Flightless Bird- After losing newborns to an unknown disease, Will can’t help but wonder what he’d do if that was his baby girl with her life on the line. 


(these are literally between 1-4 paragraphs long based on requests.)

Dear Diary                 Temptation / Temptation pt.2

Hot Pepper Improv    Card Games

It’s a Texas Thing       Lazer Tag

IKEA shit                    Domesticity

Gender Norms            Mistletoe

Not Again


(all of these except OatS have links to the next chapter at the end of the previous chapter)

Nemesis AU (5 parts)- Will made up a boyfriend to get his mom to stop worrying over his single state. But now she wants to meet him.

Carnival AU (4 parts)- After meeting at a carnival, Nico can’t stop thinking of the blond who’d managed to stay in touch after a chance meet. 

What Is This Feeling (5 parts)- Two classroom rivals get paired for an assignment. What else could go wrong?

Secrets of the Sea (11 parts and counting?)- A pirate AU, not sure if I will continue it.

One and the Same (24 parts and counting?)- A fantasy AU in which Nico is a vampire, Will is a werewolf, and neither know about the other. Use the list of links, I wasn’t able to connect them all, there’s too many lol. 

Your Wish Is My Command (7 chapters)- Nico discovers a genie in an old Arab artifact. The last thing he wants to do is make his third wish. 

Inverse!AU (6 parts and counting!)- Nico wakes up to see Bianca looming over him… and to a cabin full of siblings…. and to Will Solace being known as “the creepy Hades kid.” 

The Exception (4 parts)- As someone who doesn’t believe in love, Nico is challenged when he begins experiencing new emotions for a heartbroken boy. 

I Now Pronounce You Will and Nico (7 parts)- Based off I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. 

Fire Meet Gasoline (9 parts)- *Trigger Warning: cheating* After seven years, Nico and Will meet again… through their boyfriends. A little catching up never hurt anybody…. Right?

Warm Me Up (Ongoing)- Depression keeps a person from trusting and opening up. It leads to self destructive tendencies. Nico has suffered this for a long time, and no on has been able to understand or make it easier. Until the right person hears his song. Link is to the full index of the story :)

Okay so the song that David sings about rainbows in the white room to give his message to Syd triggered a lot of ideas in the old noggin and I’m never using that word again my head.

The colors in a rainbow are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. And put all those together, you get white (in the perspective of physics not art). Legion is a very colorful show and not in the way that it’s pretty (which it is but that’s not the point) but like it messes with your head throwing you and David for a loop.

I think considering the fact that Legion (AKA David Haller) is multi-powered mutant with multiple personality disorder, and each of those personalities harnesses a different power. Each of the colors might be symbolic for each personality. But for now I think it represents each facet of his mind.

Let’s start with red.

  • Red: red clearly represents the monster or the parasite that he is so afraid of that’s taking over, call it the yellow eyed devil or the angriest boy in the world, but that is clearly what red represents. The fear that extends from his childhood.
  • Orange: orange represents Syd, and just everything about her. From the start its been her. Whether it’s her coat or the ribbon in her hair. The color orange always seems to point towards her.
  • Yellow: yellow represents the hospital and the false sense of security. The lies that he’s had to live with and the false thought that nothing can hurt him there when he’s already in as much danger as possible.
  • Green: green represents freedom, peace, tranquility. So far, the only people he’s expressed love for is Amy and Syd. The first time we see adult Amy and she promises to talk to David’s doctor about getting him out, she’s wearing this lime green coat. The first time David manages to escape the hospital as Syd, her wheeley bad is also this bright green. Everytime David goes somewhere to calm down when he’s at Summerland, he goes to the lake with the little wooden port and he’s surrounded by foliage and the lake’s water has a layer of green algae.
  • Blue: blue we don’t see a lot of but I want to make a connection to Oliver Bird and his weirdo ice cube in the middle of the astral plane.
  • Indigo: indigo represents his love and his lust for Syd. When they do the mirror kiss, when she goes to talk to him in the middle of the night at Summerland, when they sleep together for the first time.
  • Violet: also hesitant to make a connection but I want to talk about Lenny in Chapter 5 and the old house. And how we finally see the true evil and madness within.
  • White: when a rainbow-colored top spins at a certain speed, the colors blend and form white. Which is what I think happens to David, when all his personalities or moods come together and stop fighting each other for one second, he relaxes and feels safe. So when Walter shoots at Syd and David, Syd screams the white room, the place where they genuinely touch each other for the first time. The safe place.
A Word To The Sherlock Fandom

Over the past two weeks I have read some truly angry pieces by a very upset Sherlock fandom. Usually, I would counter this with lots of Moffat praise and wait for the wave of anger to subside. But this time, it has become a matter of showing respect to the LGBT+ community. So for once, I am going to address the issue before I move on with my usual blogging routine. 

For Those Who Don’t Know What The Anger Is About…

In a nutshell, what it boils down to is that the episode The Final Problem gave its viewers the impression that the show might be over for good. And if that really were the case, it would mean the relationship between Sherlock and John would never have become canon. And the hints that were planted throughout the show would have been all in our heads. 

Now let me start by making my position on the matter clear: I firmly believe in a romantic relationship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. I believe in it when watching the BBC series, I believe in it when reading the original books, I believe in it even after having watched The Final Problem. I believe. 

Originally posted by violincameos

I also strongly believe that Gatiss and Moffat have actually read the books and that they cannot possibly have overlooked all the subtext that hints towards a John-Sherlock relationship. And finally, I firmly believe that the writers have every intention to include this relationship in the show, if they get the chance…

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Dr. Frederick Chilton / Secret Admirer.

Per post HERE by @xemopeachx
re: Frederick being in love with you from afar.

Originally posted by jarodleto

I also tag @mrschiltoncat in damn near anything Chilton I post because I <3 her and I think she’ll like the fluffs haha.

Was this creepy?

Frederick thought it might be, but then again, all things considered: it wasn’t really the creepiest thing that could happen in the Hospital…

Yet still, he wouldn’t put his name on it. Not on the ribbon that he had tied around the stem, not on the little post-it note he had noticed on your desk, not in an email to explain the slight oddity.

Oh no; Frederick wouldn’t reveal how he noticed the bracelet you wore every day when you handed him the abundance of files you had been diligently working on, nor would he explain how much he loved the floral scent of your perfume when it wafted his way. That would have been creepy- to relay how he thought of you every time he ever saw the common little flower that matched the charms dangling from that gold chain dangling from your wrist. No, it would be unprofessional for him to describe how he had passed the same little flower shop he walked by every day and noticed a bundle of the familiar ivory petals surrounding the bright, sunshine center. 

He also wouldn’t tell you how it lit up his morning, much like you had a way of lighting up his dark little hospital.

Dear Lord No- he would never imagine letting you know how he had purposefully rushed the rest of the way to work, skipped getting the coffee he enjoyed every morning, just to beat you to the office.

And no way in Hell would Frederick ever tell you that he was the one who put the daisy on your desk.

Keep reading

Love Me

It’s late and I can’t sleep so…here’s something haha. I’ll probably delete it when I wake up and see the tragedy that is my writing. I have the song “Piece by Piece” by Kelly Clarkson stuck in my head so….I might base this late night drabble around it with Dr Spencer Reid thrown in there. I apologize in advance for my errors.


You never forget the sound of your heart breaking for the first time. It isn’t a crack. It’s a stifled sob late at night. It’s the sniffling cries as you lay wide awake in the middle of the night. It’s the loss of nothingness that encompasses your every fibre. White noise.

How could a man who was gifted with the life of a child just walk away? To pack up his life in a suitcase and appear as if you never existed. All you remember is being left behind, the ghost of someone who was once your all. And you were hurting…you were lost and suffocating in feelings you should’ve never experienced at such a young age. You were only a child! What kind of man can do that?

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Spencers voice startled you out of your memories. You glanced up quickly and nodded, mouth pulled taut as you gave a quick reply.

“Yeah, Spencer, I’m fine.” You say as you gather up your belongings. You look at the clock and decide to take your lunch break early, “I’m just going to get lunch.”

You walked away and shuffles towards the elevator. You didn’t notice the shocked reaction the great Doctor was in. He knew something was wrong by how you were acting but his suspicions were concrete when you called him Spencer instead of the usual “Reid” you’d come accustom to.

“Is she okay?” Derek asks cautiously.

“No…I don’t think she is.” Spencer replied as he stood to follow you, “Could you let-”

“Go. I’ll tell the others you both took lunch early.” Derek said as he clapped Spencer on his back.

You waited for the elevator to come as more memories washed over you. You traveled so far to see him and all he did was turn you away. You wanted your father and he didn’t reciprocate those feelings. You were only 6 when he left. You were 11 when he sent you away from his new life.

Your mother had found love and he was a man greater than your Dad…but you didn’t want to see it. So you rebelled and fought against the affection. He picked up piece by piece as your faith in him built. You were slowly beginning to realize a man could be kind and never leave. You pushed and pushed but he held on and when you fell…he was there to catch you. This man showed you what a father should be. What a husband should provide. What a man really is.

You stopped walking and realized you’d gone further than you were suppose to. Instead of lunch you’d managed to find yourself at the entrance of the one place you’d sworn you’d never return to. And a sob broke free. All his apologies in the phone call you’d received this morning just fell flat. He wanted back into your life.

And for the third time in your life you heard the familiar sound of your heart breaking. Then you felt it. A hand with the softest skin. Spencer. “You don’t have to tell me but I’m here Y/N.”

You rocked back and forth before Spencer pulled you in, abandoning his statistics about contact germs. That was the first time abandonment didn’t hurt you and you weren’t used to that. Forgiveness was so hard…and you couldn’t just put away all those years you cried for a man who is no longer your father. That had to be earned.

“He left when I was 6….” You choked out. Spencer held onto you tighter and dipped his head down to kiss the top of yours, “He abandoned everything. Until my mother found Michael and he taught me how a father should be. He taught me how to love and learn. Picked me up off the ground every time without a moments hesitation and then…and then…”

“Breathe Y/N. Take a deep breath and start when you’re ready.” Spencer coos softly as tears stain his shirt. You pulled back without either of you letting go and looked at the place that housed this family you had no clue about. The man who should’ve been your father…being a father to someone else. A husband to someone else. A beacon of light to them, a wet candle to me.

“I make something of myself and now he wants me back?” You say once you get the knot out of your throat, “He’s…their daughter. My…half sister. I have siblings.”

Spencer and the team knew you had issues with your birth father. But you’d never divulged them with the details and they never probed and prodded about it just as you’d wished. Now he was getting a front row seat to your ultimate downfall and and anger rose up in him.

He was the reason for all your self doubt. The reason you felt worthless and expendable to everyone around you. Because of him…you didn’t let people in easily. And it riled Spencer up to a point where he could no longer deny his feelings for you.

“I don’t want anything to do with him…but those kids…I can never be part of their lives. I’ll never see them graduate or get married. They’ll never know how I long to meet them, to guide them and to love them.” You choke out. Just as you say that the door opens and you see him and a girl no older than 15. She laughs, he smiles, she says see you later and he kisses her head.

Your eyes connect and you see the panic in his. That was all the confirmation you needed. That man is capable of being a loving father. Just not for you. You turned away as Spencer stood between you and his line of sight. The man who was once your father looked down and then towards his daughter who had found her way towards you.

“Hi! Can I help you with something?” She says politely. Her voice is soft and it makes you smile. You swipe a tear away and shake your head.

“Oh no sweetie. We’re just going for a walk and I stopped to take in the view.” You say happily. Spencer heard the crack in your voice so he slips his hand into yours.

“The view? I mean, I suppose the neighbors garden is beautiful but everything else is a little….bland.” She says.

You laugh then and smile at her, “Yeah…I guess you’re right.”

She nods and smiles back, “I better get going. Got an education to get to.”

Spencer leads you in the opposite direction. You turn your head back once more to see the man your heart had let go of so long ago….and you nod. He gives you a grateful smile. Then you come back to attention and walk side by side with Spencer.

“So…you okay?” Spencer asks once more.

“Yeah…I’m okay Spencer.” You smile and nod. Your eyes look up to his and he stops you from walking further.

“You know…I’ve net your father and he lives you. That man over there….he missed out on so much. It’s his loss not yours. Do you understand this?”

You nod timidly, “I know.”

Piece by piece your father had you back on your feet. Instead of the memory of one walking away you replaced it with one of a man walking in and seeing an abandoned mess. He never walked away, he never asked for anything, he takes care of you and he loves you. He reminded you how to love and be loved.

And beside you stood another man who had captured and nurtured your heart long before you realized. You looked at Spencer again and noticed his furrowed brow. His brain needed to know what it was you were thinking. Why you were looking at him that way.

It was love. All love.


Requested by spacedreamfighter (and no, my dear, you’re not the only one)

Classic Who, Soulmate AU.

The nightmares don’t stop after a week, or in three weeks, or even a month. You still wake up with your heart trying to burst out of your chest, bloody and violently afraid, not all that much unlike those nasty little creatures from Alien- you strongly sympathize with Sigourney Weaver. This, unfortunately, isn’t a macabre streak of pop culture humor that you can share with anyone. The movie won’t be coming out for another, oh… eight years. So the Angels still haunt you at night. You don’t know why or how they did this to you, and you don’t particularly care. You just want them out of your nightmares. More than that, though, you want to go home.

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Enchanted Pt 2 // Moon Bin


Pt. 1

the prompt: could you pretty please write a continuation/spin off/sequel of the mermaid Moonbin AU?? If you WANT to make the sequel have a happy ending, I won’t complain~

words: 4011

category: angst + fluff

warnings: torture

author note: you guys I had this planned before I put the first part up, no lie. I’ll do Eunwoo’s spin-off story eventually, although it’ll take awhile. Also I left this ending kinda open. I might do a part 3, but I knife like how this ends.

- destinee

Originally posted by moonbinoo

the entire second part was planned bc of this gif right here i wasn’t going to have one until i saw this gif

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A/N: I wrote this for @tamsininmypants for Christmas. 

Title: Familiarity 

Fandom: Overwatch

Pairing: Mercymaker

Rating: Teen

Warnings: None, unless you count a little angst? 

Word Count: 2,167 

Summary: Mercy goes out for a walk, a tad nostalgic, when she runs into someone familiar. 

The rest is under the cut. 

The holidays were always a bittersweet time for Angela Ziegler. She remembered her family she had lost in Switzerland and the family she had gained in Overwatch. The family she had found had its ups and its downs and it certainly wasn’t perfect, but she loved them regardless. Angela was not related to them by blood and they say blood was thicker than water, but water runs deeper.

Tonight as she walked through the quiet French town by herself, her boots crunching through the freshly fallen snow, she thought about both of her families. It was just her and the night, quiet and silent with a dark grey sky promising more snow. Though it was cold, Angela had always felt rather warm and cozy on these nights. Perhaps it was her love for the snow and the cold, or really, those she surrounded herself with.

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How He Finally Gave In
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Tenth Doctor (duplicate)/Rose Tyler
Characters: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler
Additional Tags: UST, married, Torchwood - Freeform, delayed gratification, Sexual Frustration, not explicit, Crack, Fluff, Fluffy McFluff, Silly, unrealistic probably
Series: Part 8 of Timepetalsprompts

He’s teaching by day, she’s defending the Earth by night. And they are both about to burst.

Written for @timepetalsprompts prompt, “Sex Time”.

She stumbled into their flat, barely remembering to flip the deadbolt lock on the front door. The brightness of eight am light hurt her stinging, exhausted eyes, so she stumbled to the window and drew the drapes. She knew she should eat something — considering she hadn’t eaten in well over 14 hours — but right now, sleep was her number one priority. She collapsed onto the sofa, one leg and one arm hanging off.

But then her husband made an appearance.

She peeled one eye open.

His hands were pushed into the pockets of his brown pinstriped trousers. He was wearing the glasses. And his hair was perfect. In a word, he was gorgeous. And doing that thing with his eyebrow. And that half smile thing.

But she didn’t feel a single tingle. No butterflies in her belly. No prickles on her neck or flushed cheeks or building heat or— anything.

He leaned over, and kissed her jaw. “Oh, I missed you last night. Couldn’t stop thinking about you. The bed was so cold.”

“Takemetobed,” she slurred, eyes drifting shut again.

He hummed happily. “Your wish is my command.”

She smiled lazily as he pulled her off of the sofa, and led her into their bedroom. “Gonna feel so good. Close the blinds,” she ordered quietly. “Need it dark.”

“Mmmmm. You do like it dark, don’t you?” He removed his tie as he scurried to the window. “Love the dark. Dark is brilliant. Well, not brilliant. Unbrilliant.”

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Bad Bob drops his gloves and takes on the press Part 3: Jack

Hi all, it’s been a little while! I honestly wasn’t expecting this little series to get the attention it did, but hey, I’m not complaining. I just closed a play, so I have my life back until spring when the next one comes along. The life of a Musical Theater major.

If you haven’t yet, and you’re interested, here is part one and part two!

Alright, now that the parents, teams, and other loved ones have spoken out, it’s time for Jack to tell his story.

(please be mindful of the trigger warnings in the tags.)

  • It takes a little bit for him to get to that point. His dad’s interview, while incredibly cathartic, was a lot to take in.
  • Like he knew going it it wouldn’t be easy. And he handled it pretty well, considering. He needed to hear it. He needed to hear his father’s anger and know it was not directed at him.
  • (It still does drive him crazy that Bob blames himself because Jack doesn’t blame him. A few years ago that would not have been the truth, but they’ve both come a long way.)
  • But he wasn’t very prepared to hear his father talk about how he nearly died in his arms. It was something he knew, and he’d definitely thought about it, but hearing it come from his father’s mouth was….
  • (Needless to say, Bob hops on a plane as soon as the interview is over, because he fucking Knows and he isn’t in the door for three seconds before he’s holding Jack and they’re both apologizing while Bitty leaves them alone and bakes them a few pies)

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anonymous asked:

so i got my first tangle jr recently and ive been stimming with it almost nonstop and the joints in my fingers kinda started hurting is that bad?

Chronic hand pain stimmer speaking! (Six and a half years in pain next month! Great milestone, right?) While I’m not a doctor and cannot diagnose, I can talk about this aspect of stimming safety with some authority.

The short, scary answer is this: it can be bad. Conditions like carpel tunnel and RSI can be caused or aggravated (brought to flare) by repetitive movement (which is, in effect, what stimming is). Underlying conditions you might not know you have (arthritis and its variations or even, I think, something like EDS) can also be the reason you’re in pain, especially if you think the pain happened too quickly/unreasonably. Based on my own experience with repetitive hand movement, I have absolutely no doubt that constant, unvaried stimming over a long period of time - and your own body’s health and makeup is the determining factor of what is long, not our own mental timetable - can cause harm. And while I’ve had repetitive strain injuries heal normally, I’ve had some that have damaged how my nervous system treats and transmits pain in those areas. I’ve had to learn to be super careful in my stimming to keep bad flares to a minimum.

Don’t panic, though. Please, don’t.

First, if your pain isn’t severe, give yourself a week of gentle hand stimming or non-hand-stimming to give your hands a rest. If you see a change in your pain - that it lessens/ebbs or stops by the end of that time - you’re very likely to be okay. (Then just look at the info below.) If you feel it hasn’t lessened enough or not at all after that time, or your pain is so severe you cannot function normally, go see your GP/family doctor. I know that doctors are often incredibly stressful, especially for neurodiverse folk, and most of us can’t easily have a conversation explaining that we hurt ourselves from stimming too much, so I do advocate, for non-severe pain, resting first.

(By ‘severe’ I don’t mean some arbitrary number scale. Those scales are absurd. I mean: how much is the pain stopping you from doing your daily activities? Are you constantly aware of the pain? Is the pain making you struggle to think? Cry? Feel depressed and frustrated? Struggle to hold a book, pick up a cup, eat? If the pain is more than uncomfortable, doesn’t respond to over-the-counter pain meds and you answer “yes” to any of those questions, see a GP as soon as you can. Do this, because you do not need to be in severe pain.)

Secondly, I’m going to talk on how to stim to avoid pain. I know what it’s like when you get the fabulous toy and it feels so good and this form of stimming is perfection and you just want to stim with it forever. I know. But it’s actually pretty dangerous. The human body wasn’t designed to do the same small repetitive movements over and over in a - comparatively - short space of time, and it will, over time, make us regret doing so. Temporary pain becomes permanent. I don’t wish that on anyone.

Safe stimming includes:

- Alternating your toys on a frequent basis. I wouldn’t use the same hand toy for more than an hour. If you’re using that toy intensively or quickly, I wouldn’t use it for more than half an hour or even less. I have many stim toys I cannot use for more than a few minutes. (Doesn’t mean I don’t love them, though.) Even if all your toys are hand toys, they’ll use different muscle groups, different tendons. Think on how you use your Tangle and then how you might use a stress ball or slime. You’re holding them differently, pulling them differently. Your body needs that change, and pain is often a sign of that need.

(This applies for chewables as well. Alternate chewing sites - back teeth a while, front teeth a while. If you need multiple chewables to accomplish this, do so.)

- Cultivating a large selection of stim toys. This means you have plenty of options for alternating. (Yes, I’m giving you permission to have or make lots of stim toys.) I don’t mean fifteen different Tangles, as much as I, personally, want to have fifteen different Tangles. I mean different types of toys. Is there kinetic sand in your hoard? Play-Doh? Chewables? Beaded fidgets? Bean bags? Soft toys/plushies? Stress balls? Puzzles? Visual stim toys? Texture toys? Noise-making stim toys? Does your collection include different textures and materials? Does it encompass, as much as possible, all the different ways you can stim?

(This whole blog is about doing just this; here’s the DIY tag if you want or need to make your own toys.)

- Ensuring you own gentler stim toys for alternating. I’d love to use my Tangle Fuzzy non-stop. But they’re less great for my hands. I know my problems are issues of grip and tension, so when my hands are bad or to rest them, I seek out stim toys that don’t involve gripping. I run my fingers over a Disney Tsum Tsum plush for the texture. I wriggle my fingers through kinetic sand or stretch fluffy slime. I also make sure my squishable toys are pretty soft (no firm stress balls) and search out fidgets that can be pushed and moved without gripping them. Use and love your less-gentle toys, but swap them with gentler ones.

- Paying attention to your body. What hurts when you stim? Where? Are there toys you have that cause you less pain? Is there a specific action with a stim toy that causes pain? Are you always doing the same motions over and over? This sort of awareness is really hard for autistic folk - I struggle with it. It’s worthwhile trying, though, to build some awareness of what your pain means.

- Giving yourself stim breaks. This can mean not stimming for a little while. It can mean putting down your hand toys in favour of chewellery or bouncing up and down to the same song five times in a row. It can mean switching to visual stims or non-toy stimming (if it uses different body parts). I have to alternate my hand stimming - which is my favourite way to stim - with non-hand stims if I wish to continue hand stimming. Just like an office worker should do from a computer screen, take regular, short breaks from stimming with your hands (or chewing).

I know it’s awful to not be able to do That Perfect Stim, and I know how hard it is to be aware of these safety concerns when you’ve fallen into the zone of stimminess. If you need to, set alarms or reminders on your phone. Ask someone to remind you to switch stim toys. But please, please do try. Chances are high that with a little rest and care, you’ll be fine, but the pain you’re describing is a message from your body and you need to listen to it.

Not listening to it means you end up with chronic pain like me, and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Learning to Speak - by tinsnip - Star Trek: DS9 [AO3]
Julian Bashir has been on Cardassia for six months. He thinks he's adapted pretty well. But when it's time to learn the language, he realizes he's nowhere near as clever as he thought.
By Organization for Transformative Works

“Learning to Speak” is a story I’ve held off on sharing because I like to spread out my very, very FAVORITE stories a bit and this is one of them. This one is SO good, it’s like one of those bottles of liquor you save for a special occasion. That said, I’ve read it over and over. Bravo, @tinsnip.

Now as for WHY I like it so much, let’s see. There are loads of fics set in post-Canon Cardassia and tinsnip has more of them than I think anyone ele, but this one gets me because while it is similar in its set up to many, the details are different. Yes, Bashir comes to Cardassia and gets to work as a doctor. Yes, he gets involved with Garak and they move in together. And yes, he has to learn to assimilate to Cardassian society, including the language. But what this story does is present a scenario where none of these elements – the work, the relationship, and most especially the culture and language bit – go smoothly. Bashir thinks, idealistically, that the little problems he encounters will work themselves out, and focuses on his work at a children’s center and bright spots in his life with Garak. Meanwhile Garak is extremely worried about the whole situation, which he expects to fly apart. In other words, there are Problems – yes, capital P. This story is about those Problems coming to a head and how the couple deal with them. And I just love everything about it. 


As they neared the market, Julian heard the calling of the vendors and the chatter of shoppers. It was probably going to be busy today; it was still before lunch, and the sun wasn’t yet beating down with its full force. Everyone who wanted to shop at the market would do it now, before it got too hot to breathe.

Julian listened as they approached, hearing the babble of the market with newly appreciative ears. His translator had always switched it over to Fed Standard for him, and so he’d never really understood how different Kardasi could sound. A crowd of people speaking Fed Standard sounded loud and rounded, lots of big vowels; by comparison, the crowd of Cardassians was quieter, more sibilant. Their gestures, however, did a lot more of the talking. There was a tumult of kotok temell in the crowd, merchants signalling honesty/pleasure/helpful, shoppers answering with disbelief/delight as the case might be. Julian hadn’t really noticed it before. I never had to.

He looked at Garak. ”We need specific thing?

Garak’s mouth pursed a little, affectionately, in appreciation of Julian’s effort. "Yaq, S'h'iosr'ha. Nuka s'hren'rat. Sepnu preb'I, thuza.” No, Doctor. Let’s just walk. Stay with me, please. Julian nodded, and noted to himself that perhaps this damnable twisty language was starting to feel a bit more accessible. I hope.

The pathways between tables and stalls were too narrow to navigate side by side; reluctantly, Julian loosened his grip on Garak’s arm, and they walked single-file past tables laden with fresh produce from tiny gardens, with little flowers in soil-filled paper bags, with weavings, with jewellery, with miniature paintings (done on individual leaves, incredible!), with a thousand varied little outpourings of creativity. Julian was still delighted by the fact that Cardassia, so severe on the surface, teemed just underneath with stories and songs and drawings and gardens. How funny that the need to create seemed to be so ubiquitous among the Cardassian people. Well, much as it is with Humans, I suppose. Why am I still so surprised when they’re so much like me?

“Ah!” Garak had stopped a few feet behind him, and was looking with evident pleasure at a table laden with purple, bulbous… fruit? Probably fruit. Garak nodded at the elderly lady who held court over the table, his posture offering admiration. She nodded back with a touch of smugness, acknowledgement. Julian caught the exchange, and was just a little smug himself. I can do this - it’s easier every minute - why was I so upset?

“S'h'iosr'ha!” Garak beckoned him over, and glanced sideways at him. “RakiTh pertek ga'I! Thuza, ka emp vereti'U, he’ yus'vi'U betraruxt be'les.” Oh, dear. Um, something about this food being… special? And thuza was please, and he was to do something to three of something, and then… Oh. Pick out three and pay for them. God, it sounded so simple. Where had his smug gone?

He pressed his lips together, and raised his brows at Garak. You are being cruel. Garak returned the look with cool eyes and a twitch of his eye ridges, it’s good for you.

“Uh, please forgive my-Kardasi-diminished.” The first phrase Garak had taught him; certainly one of the most useful. Oh, and the posture that went with it, supplication, light and quick. He was rewarded by a surprised head tilt from the matron, and caught the glance she flicked Garak’s way. I wonder what she makes of me? Favoured pet? Dancing bear? Keep dancing, Julian!

Despite his slow, stuttering Kardasi, he managed to enlist the woman’s aid in selecting three fruits that she promised would be “cidUm'net!”, very tasty! He pressed his thumb against her merchant’s PADD, sealing the deal, and thanked her politely as she bagged the fruit for them. She smiled fondly at him and flicked her fingers against his hand once, not hard enough to hurt. Like a grandmother to a grandchild, marvelous.

But it wasn’t so terrible, really, and he had just done something he had never imagined doing without his translator. His spine straightened; beside him, he heard Garak emit a little “hmph” of amusement. Laugh if you like. I did it! He swung his bag of possibly-fruit beside him as they walked away, and probably looked silly, and didn’t much care. Cardassia, I will beat you yet.

P.S. I must also mention the language, meaning the Kardasi. There is an extensive vocabulary employed here, to the point there’s an appendix at the end. It adds a great deal to the story.


Title: Learning to Speak
Author: tinsnip
Year Posted: 2013
Approx. Word Count: 20,000
Chapters: 6 (plus appendix) 
GB - Slash or Platonic: Slash
My Rating (1-5): 5
Keywords: Post-Canon Cardassia, Established Relationship, Angst, Drama, Cross-Cultural Differences, Xenophobia

Man Jam. (Harrison Osterfield.)

Requested – Yes. Hope you like this anon.

Prompt – You love Twenty One Pilots and Panic! At The Disco and Harrison thinks you’re quite odd for liking them, but you catch him listening to them one day.

Warning – I’m not a huge fan of Panic! At The Disco so bare with me because I only know the basic songs! 

Words – 977. It’s pretty short.


Music is a sense of relief for people because that is their only way of escaping. The melody is a cure that not even a doctor can prescribe to a patient. People love the idea of lyrics inspiring them to become better versions of them. Music brings people back to the finer things in life and what it feels like to be free. It’s a person’s own personal form of clarity on reality.

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Till Sunbeams Find You [Stephen Strange x Reader]

Author’s Note: This took me a really long time to write. I got really distracted lol. Anyway, I watched Doctor Strange yesterday and I loved it. I would’ve written for it when I got home last night but I was out super late and got too tired and then I was in the library all day today doing homework (*cries*). Nonetheless, I hope ya like this. ^^

Word Count: 1,521

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36 Part 3 (Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader)

A/N: Well here it is! This part was a lot longer than I was expecting it to be but I’m super excited for everyone to read it :) If you have any feedback or more requests, please let me know! :) I will try to get through more writing but with school picking up I make no promises, except to do my best :)

Part 1  Part 2 


After you had left, Lin looked at the time to see that it was barely 6:30am. Not knowing what else to do, he hopped in the shower to try and clear his foggy mind. A few hours ago he was certain that he had ruined everything. He had wanted to call you immediately and apologize, knowing that it would be more effective than running out after you and trying to find you by sheer will. It was then that he had noticed that you had left your phone behind, and there was no way to contact you. Lin panicked, and he prayed with everything he had that you wouldn’t get hurt. Well, more hurt than what he had already caused.

He mentally kicked himself for not realizing sooner what he was doing. Of course this musical was incredibly important to him, and Alex and Tommy were getting on his case now more than ever to finish writing, but he had let you slip through his fingers as a result. He had neglected you, and you had blamed yourself. He couldn’t help but remember your last words to him before you left.

“Well then please forgive me for wanting to be enough for my husband.”

In his eyes, you were more than enough. God you were everything. But his ignorance had made you believe that you weren’t as incredible as he knew you were.

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