i think this is from a few weeks ago

Hey guys! Some weeks ago, I asked you if you’d be interested in a post about Spain’s Education System, a few of you wanted me to write it, so here it is! I tried to add everything I thought would be interesting, if you think I’ve missed something or have any questions, you can ask me! Hope you enjoy this post!

If you think I missed anything or have any question, ask me, I’ll gladly answer and/or edit this post.

*Disclaimer: I am from Spain’s capital, Madrid, and go to a non-religious private but State funded school, so some of these facts may be different in some places or schools.

Keep reading

Some Wyman headcanons

- Eldest child and heir of the King of Morley.
- Went to Dunwall from Wynnedown as a “playmate” for Emily a few months after she get her throne back – is actually a political hostage, a grim reminder of the Morley Insurrection and their defeat by Gristol fifty years ago.
- Cried for weeks after leaving Morley for the first time, still resents the King for it.
- Hated Dunwall Tower at first and needed days to open to Emily, Alexi and Jameson but after becoming their friend, tearfully begged Callista not to be sent back to Wynnedown after one frog too many was found in her closet.
- Used to hate tea, finding the stuff “vile”, but kept drinking it because Emily did, has since developed a liking for it. Favorite is a blend of black tea, cinnamon, cloves and orange peel.
- Once sneaked out of Dunwall Tower at night to get a tattoo and ear piercings, decided the experience was totally worth it following the Court’s general outcry the day after.
- Is a good fencer, also excellent with a bow and an arrow.
- Draws rather well, thanks to Emily’s hours of tutoring as children.
- Is actually politically astute and savvy enough to juggle with Morley’s pro-Independence feelings and the Empire’s politics while protecting own’s political future.
- Plays the harp, does a duet with Corvo every now and then, sings like a dying donkey.
- Despite spending years in Dunwall, still finds the morleyan food vastly superior to Gristol’s, though will never admit it out loud.
- Is a good cook, enjoys making breakfast for Emily.
- Can recite the Seven Scriptures backward while burping.
- Never misses a release of the Dunwall Daily Gazette, reads them out loud to Emily and adds witty comments to make her laugh.
- Once got caught naked in Emily’s room by Emily’s father, Emily insisted that “it’s not what you’re thinking, Corvo,” actually explained that “it’s exactly what you’re thinking, Sir.”

project runway junior is so nice like all the kids are so supportive of each other and the judges are really nice despite having to give critique. Like one designer just cried a little because the judges didn’t absolutely love her outfit and they were like “no please don’t be so hard on yourself you’re such a great designer!” and the designer standing next to her hugged her to console her. like ??? the adult designers on regular project runway do NOT act like this. young people are awesome.

Quiet

Originally posted by im-thekeeper

Originally posted by relationshipaims

Prompt: Bones doesn’t know reader is mute and is constantly confused why she never talks to anyone or answers questions. Jim has to save both of them from further embarrassment. -Anon

Warnings:

Word Count: 2,490

A/n: I love mute!reader’s, I think they make the cutest love stories. And I’m actually taking my second year of ASL (American sign Language) so I have some experience with signing but describing the signs is almost impossible so if you get confused, just look it up :P Enjoy!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I dont even watch yuri on ice but I hate your fandom bruh its too fuckinn big and fuckin everywhere please just stop its just an anime jfc

Omg I was just like you albeit more than a few weeks ago (I think it was yuri on ice episode 3 airing) and yeah I was really weirded out and kinda hating the fandom from afar because WHAT EXACTLY WAS SO GOOD ABOUT ANOTHER FREAKING SPORTS ANIME

But that’s the thing though. Please watch it. Cuz the moment I decided to watch YoI all those weeks ago, THE MOMENT I saw fat Yuuri on screen, my whole opinion on the anime changed. And as each episode aired, I knew I would be iN SO DEEP.

Hate this fandom all you want, but if you declare your hate without ever once watching the anime, you’re missing out on one of the most relatable animes ever because never have I ever seen a character who has weight issues (overcame it), anxiety (fuck me up that one really hit home), a stunning character development alongside every other character developments, ONE OF THE BIGGEST PLOT TWIST EVER, the best portrayal of supportive friends and family and my favourite, the normalisation of two men being in love.

You wanna know what the real best part was? Yuri!!! On Ice didn’t force anything, actually I’m pretty sure they flew over every possible trope in anime history. To the point that it wasn’t about shipping Victor and Yuuri, it was more like… “I wouldn’t be surprised if these two got together” kind of feel. Like how you see REAL PEOPLE. The anime treated the characters in the most human way I’ve ever seen (I don’t even understand my own sentence lol)

And the characters? All of them? They’re some part of me. They all are. And I love how the anime treat ‘me’ right. They showed 'me’ and tinny parts 'me’ and I think that’s why I never hated anyone in the anime. I love Yuri!!! On Ice because I can relate to it so much.

The fandom opinions differs but for someone who has had weight issues, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, a drive to strive, a need for assurance and love (constantly), a social media addict, a cat lover, someone who is passive aggressive, sarcastic and (the list is very long), but for 'me’, Yuri!!! On Ice did a pretty good job allowing me to 'see’ myself in each of the new charas.

So don’t go telling me to stop. Because I won’t let go of the best portrayal of 'me’ and neither will I stop from ever loving Yuri!!! On Ice .

Chuck Bass Analysis

A few weeks ago, I got the chance to read an article about shame-based personalities that immediately made me think about Chuck and I decided to take the time to write an essay about it. I’ll be using lines from the article to write this dissertation, which means it’s only right to credit it. You can find it here. The blog has many fascinating psychology articles; if you’re interested in the subject you should definitely follow it.

As the article I’m referring to explains, blaming and shaming a person are two different things. While blaming someone implies recognizing a fault in the person’s behavior, shaming someone isn’t about guilt or responsibility; it doesn’t require the person to do something that the accuser interprets as a mistake. Instead, shaming means affirming there’s something wrong with the person accused; in other words, the fault doesn’t lie in the person’s actions, but rather in their personality.

Before I begin exposing my thoughts regarding how and why Chuck’s personality was built through a dysfunctional shaming process, it must be said that both the aspects I’ve mentioned – blame and shame – played a role in his life.

For most of his life, Chuck has lived with a shattering sense of guilt coming from the conviction he had killed his mother by coming to life. I tend to think Bart has never really put into words this accusation, but it is sure that, as a child and later on as a teenager, Chuck read this through the lines of his father’s detachment. Consciously and not, Chuck learnt to consider himself responsible for his mother’s death, because the explanation he gave himself helped him to give a meaning to the emotional and psychological abuse he was subjected to.  

That being said, the guilt he took is a “blameless” one; in fact, it might be more accurately described as an original sin, a visceral, ancestral fault that has nothing to do with responsibility (even if Elisabeth had actually died giving birth, the baby wouldn’t have been guilty of her destiny). 

This irrational, inconsistent and implicit accusation suggests that there’s something terribly and irremediably flawed in Chuck, it somehow hints to the fact that his role in the world is to destroy – and metaphorically, to kill (“He hated me. It makes sense if his beloved wife died giving birth to me. Sometimes I swear he thinks I killed her” Chuck, from 2X05)

It is likely that, in truth, Bart blamed Chuck for the simple fact that he was Elizabeth’s son – the woman who had cheated on him and eventually left him to raise a child he probably didn’t even want. In Bart’s mind, having her as a mother was enough to make him a worthless and inadequate person – and irreversibly. This “definitive verdict” is indeed expressed through the story he told Chuck: not only Elizabeth “died”, but she was also “killed” by her own son. It’s a vision that allowed Bart to hate them both and set Chuck for being an eternal disappointment to his eyes.

It is definitely a form of shaming.  The article mentions a few examples of shaming statements, which sound very similar to many things Bart told his son all the way through the series:

• “You were a mistake; I wish I’d never had you.” || “No matter how I’ve tried to turn you into a man, it still remains the one, big failure of my life” (6X09)

• “You’re useless; you’ll never amount to anything.” || “Nice gesture, but misguided as usual” (2X10), “I haven’t seen anything in the last year that suggests you have what it takes. If anything, you’ve been a disappointment” (3X12)

“You’ve ruined my life; you ruin everything for everyone” || “Bart thought it would be better if the family bonded without me for a while” (1X14), “Letting people down is your forte” (2X10), “Every time I think we’re making progress, you show your true colors” (2X12).

 According to the article, adults shamed in childhood have some traits that I recognized in Chuck as well. I’ll mention each of them and try to see how they showed in his behavior. 

1. They are afraid to share their true thoughts and feelings with others.

This first trait is pretty obvious in Chuck’s characterization. However, truth to be told, his difficulty in sharing his thoughts and feelings is only the tip of the iceberg.

Chuck is indeed emotionally crippled. He doesn’t simply have issues when it comes to conveying his feelings; his problems start with his inability to recognize them and then accept them. Season 1 is all about it; Chuck can’t give a name to what he feels for Blair (“I feel sick, like there’s something in my stomach…fluttering”) and when she hurts him, he can’t metabolize the pain he feels and ends up hurting her as well in a way that is absolutely childish – an act of spite.

This is obviously the outcome of an education intended to make him think of feelings as weaknesses. Chuck grew up with the idea that detachment meant strength, while displaying emotions – or even having emotions – was a synonym of vulnerability. And vulnerability was the ultimate fault, the one thing Bart could have never accepted.  

Episode 3X12 (but, in general, season 3) is pretty enlightening in this sense, because it gives us an accurate idea of how Chuck has always interpreted his father’s behavior and words – and, as we’ll find out later on, his view of Bart was sadly truthful.

The Bart Chuck sees condemns his love for Blair (“You opened your heart to Blair and that made you weak”), for it makes him immature and unsuitable for being the businessman he is expected to become. The image of Bart tells Chuck he doesn’t have “what it takes”. This conviction Chuck can’t let go of is so weighty and so deeply rooted that it will be one of the reasons that will lead him to betray Blair in order to save The Empire – “I did what I had to to win. I couldn’t let my feelings cost me all that I’ve built” (3X17).

As I said, Chuck’s perception of his father was exact. In episode 5X24 it becomes clear that he judges his son’s love for Blair and in general his feelings as a demonstration of his irresponsibility other than what keeps him from being a “great man” and from “growing up”.

It’s only logical to assume that Bart’s reiterated insistence to urge Chuck to repress his emotions and, overall, his disdain for the mere existence of those feelings and the consequential shaming, led Chuck to try to suppress them as much as he could.

The constant repression is something I’ll talk about later in the essay while analyzing other traits. Though, it is important to underline the fact that Chuck tends to keep his emotions under control through a rigid process of suppression, until he can’t contain them anymore. This implies that when he finds himself unable to shut down his feelings, they tend to blow up in a devastating way – for himself and for those close to him.

It’s something that, with time, Chuck definitely learnt to handle better. It was indeed one of the crucial points of his growth; he still tends to diminish his feelings, but he manages to cope with them in a healthier way. By the end of the series, for example, he is able to accept Blair’s support and to contain the shame he feels towards his weaknesses; it doesn’t happen right away and it takes patience from her and also the special delicacy she reserves him, but eventually he lets her in fully (check this scene from episode 6X08).

However, Blair remains one of his few exceptions. He is only able to show his vulnerability to a very restricted group of people who he is able to trust. Outside his “circle of trust”, he is still an especially cold and detached person – and I assume a pretty ruthless business man too.

2. They are terrified of intimacy and put up walls in relationships. They also fear  commitment as they expect to be rejected.

You couldn’t handle feelings,” Blair tells Chuck in episode 3X12, giving us, as usual, the most precise insight on him and his difficulties dealing with emotions. Nevertheless, she comforts him, reminding him that he’s “not like that anymore” and that he’s “becoming a man in a way that his father never was”.

It is absolutely true. In spite of his fear of weaknesses, Chuck has feelings; he cares, loves and is exposed to deep emotions. He is, though, used to block them, out of shame and fear; fear of vulnerability, but also fear of the feelings themselves, of their meaning and their consequences.

The basic consequence of caring is the construction of a bond with another person, with all the risks that come with it – dependence, pain, abandon. Accepting to have feelings for someone means accepting the possibility of rejection and rejection is, to Chuck, absolutely terrifying. One of the most insightful quotes that explicates it is from episode 2X01. Trying to explain Blair why he didn’t spend the summer with her and abandoned her, he says: “I was scared you’d see…me.

Here lies the core of Chuck’s personality: the conviction that no one could love him for who he is, for he is impossible to love and also impossible to “fix”. He is irremediably broken, a destined to disappoint.

The article I’m referring to also mentions that people with shame based personalities struggle with feeling of worthlessness and often feel ugly and flawed. In Chuck’s case, this is the consequence of a growth and an existence that has always been marked by rejection. “Unfortunately, all I know if what he didn’t want,” he says, talking about his father, “which is me”.

Chuck’s deep self-esteem issues have their origin in the way he’s been shamed and neglected all the way through his childhood. As a result, he is honestly convinced of his inadequateness and of its invariability. The lack of value he sees in himself is deeply characterizing; it guides, sometimes subtly and sometimes blatantly, most of his actions and decisions. For example, he was incapable of waiting for Blair on the top of the Empire State Building because he expected her not to come, since he didn’t think he deserved her arrival. I don’t want to discuss whether his thoughts were valid or not; it’s simply not the topic of this essay. What I’m trying to point at is that it was tragically easy for Chuck to believe that she didn’t love him anymore.

Inevitably, starting from these presuppositions, commitment and especially intimacy become incredibly scary to Chuck. It’s not the dedication and the faithfulness they require that scares him; Chuck is, indeed, a profoundly devoted and loyal person (he values family, he has never cheated, he gives importance to long lasting friendships). Instead, his fright has its origin in the changeable nature of relationships: they’re hazards, they bring with them the possibility of being abandoned.

Only that, to Chuck, abandon isn’t a mere possibility, it is almost a certainness. Trusting that people he loves won’t leave him is incredibly hard to him, since abandon has been a constant in his life. He expects to be abandoned – and, according to him, rightfully so. People who leave him are justified by his worthlessness and their decision to give up on him is only logical.

This partially explains why he is so forgiving; recognizing people’s faults and responsibilities is almost superfluous to him, since, in some ways, he fundamentally thinks he deserves to be hurt. In this sense, it is important to mention how Chuck never really stopped justifying Elizabeth’s behavior; by the end of season 6, in spite of all the pain she caused him, he still hadn’t completely given up on contacting her (5X19), he still had her picture in his room and the combination to his strongbox was still her birthday’s date.

In some ways, this is also connected to the lack of love and affection that sadly marked his growth; he craves to be loved so much and, at the same time, he expects so little from those who are supposed to love him that he’s willing to take whatever he can get from them and to excuse even the most horrible betrayals (see how he allowed Jack to come back into his life). Every bit of care and respect look almost miraculous to him.

As the article explains, another fundamental trait in shame-based personalities is a debilitating false guilt. As I mentioned at the beginning of the essay, guilt plays a central role in Chuck’s life. Though he isn’t shy and definitely doesn’t pay attention to people’s judgement, he does tend to feel responsible even when he’s not. Similarly to what happens with his tendency to forgive, Chuck also expects to be accused and accepts the way people blame him, even when he has no faults.

This ingrained sense of guilt, which clearly has its roots in the childhood and the teenage years spent living with the thought of having caused his mother’s death, leads to the conviction of being unable to make the woman he loves happy. Each time he lest Blair go, he does it because he is genuinely persuaded that he’ll end up ruining their relationship and making her miserable; he keeps giving up on her to give her the chance to be with a better man, a less troubled, lighter person.

3.  They may be narcissistic and act as if they have it all together; alternatively, they may be completely selfless, almost to the point of being a doormat.

Both aspects of this trait show through Chuck’s behavior, since, as it often happens, his actions and his perception of himself tend to be extremely polarized and sometimes even contradictory – he goes to extremes.

He builds and invincible persona, “Chuck Bass”, who is powerful, indifferent, perfectly controlled; Chuck Bass is the façade he presents to the world, it’s his vanity, his mania of grandeur, it’s the self-satisfaction he feels when he’s called infamous, it’s his egocentrism and his arrogance. It shows through his eclectic style, through the self-celebratory way he conducts his business (his hotel is “The Empire” and it’s permeated with his notorious reputation), through the way he indulges the sort of legend created around his name. He enjoys his fame, his influence and he’s power hungry. Though somewhat more superficial, none of these aspects are pretended; Chuck can actually be self-centered, self-important, he can be haughty, cold and unscrupulous.

Yet, at the same time, he is incredibly fragile and he is often incapable of recognizing his value. Sometimes, actually, his selflessness is so extreme that he becomes quite literally “self – less”, meaning that he reaches such a worrying level of self-loathe that he ends up neglecting himself; his needs, his ambitions, his desires, even his entire personality (the beginning of season four is the most blatant example of this dysfunctionality, but part of this behavior is also recognizable through season five). He is haunted by the thought people would be happier if he was out of their lives.

4. They have a pervasive sense of loneliness and always feel like outsiders (even when others genuinely like and love them).

This trait is noticeable and inevitably linked with the ones previously mentioned. Reluctant to share his feelings and scared of building meaningful bonds with people, Chuck is profoundly reserved. Though he enjoys an active social life (parties, galas, ecc) and he is capable of being sociable (he is, among other things, also a hotel and clubs owner, so it is necessary), he still doesn’t let people get too close; he constantly maintains a distance between himself and the world and he often prefers spending time alone.

It must be underlined that Chuck is an especially selective person. Since trusting people comes so difficult to him, he tends to maintain a few but very solid relationships. As I’ve already mentioned, he defines a circle of trust – one that is terribly difficult to enter and, at the same time, almost impossible to exit.

Making a quick analysis of his relationships, it’s clear how discriminating and at the same time how devoted he is: Blair isn’t simply the only woman he’s ever loved, she’s also the only one he considered building a life with; Nate has been his best friend since they were five and Chuck has never showed the need to create the same kind of bond with anyone else; once he let Lily in, he never stepped back and was actively part of her family – he’s never stopped treating Serena and Eric as his siblings.

That being said, even with his most trusted people, Chuck is still hesitant when it comes to letting his guard down and allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of them. Even Blair, who is definitely the person he trusts the most, occasionally can’t reach him; she has to find a way to connect with him – sometimes she uses sex to get in touch with his blocked emotions.

As a result, Chuck has an inclination to isolate himself, since he considers his feelings incomprehensible and unacceptable; to his eyes, they’re too dark and too horrible. This idea leads him to the conviction that he shouldn’t share them and that he should deal with them alone. Aware of this belief, both Lily and Blair, actually, felt the need to remind him that they wouldn’t have left even in front of his worst moments (“The worst thing you’ve ever done, the darkest thought you’ve ever had, I will stand by you through anything” – Blair, from 2X13, “No matter how ugly and dark your feelings may be, you shouldn’t have to bear them alone. My love for you is unconditional” – Lily, from 5X10).

5. They are often defensive and find it hard to bear the slightest criticism. They feel as if they are being constantly watched and judged.

This trait mainly comes out through Chuck’s attitude towards business and work. He is extremely exigent with himself and incapable of considering failure as a sometimes inevitable part of life. He’s a perfectionist and has Stakhanovism problem. Being driven by an ambition that isn’t completely healthy, Chuck expects the best from himself and has a tendency to push himself too hard to reach his goals. The first few episodes of season 3 are a good example of this behavior. In episode 3X02 Chuck tells Serena: “My father turned his first profit by the time he was 22. I hope to do it by the time I’m 21.”

The fact that Bart is Chuck’s basis for comparison is a crucial element to analyze how this personality trait presents itself. His need to thrive and his greed for success partially have their origin in his fear to disappoint his father. Even after Bart’s “death”, Chuck kept trying to please him through his dedication to business; he was constantly trying to live up to the expectations Bart had.

Driven by his tendency to forgive and by his desperate need to justify his father’s faults, Chuck built, over the years, some sort of idealized image of Bart: the perfect business man, the person he was supposed to become but couldn’t – because of his weakness. And when, by the end of season four, this twisted view of Bart shattered, Chuck found himself having to survive a deep existential crisis. “Everything I believed about my father,” he says in episode 4X20, “everything I thought I wanted to be, what I needed to be for him, it was all based on lies.

The article also describes people with a shame based personalities as adults who tend to feel judged and controlled. It is important to say that, being a libertine, Chuck generally ignores people’s judgement when it comes to his morality, to his way of living and to his values. This careless attitude, though, has a few essential exceptions.

The first exceptions are Blair and Lily. Chuck truly values their judgements and not only when they’re positive. Since he respects them and feels supported and understood by them, he’s willing to accept even their criticisms. Their opinions and advice have a positive effect on him and they generally manage to encourage him and make him feel better about himself – or, at least, to question his actions. The key of his trust and respect for them lies in the way he knows that behind their words there are acceptance and care. Their loyalty and their affection isn’t necessarily linked with his actions – they would always forgive him and love him for who he is rather than for what he does.

Bart, however, represents a negative exception. His judgement, whether actual or simply imagined by Chuck, influences Chuck’s behavior through fear of rejection

In some ways, for a long time, Chuck lived with the perpetual feeling of being tested by this unreachable man he had to satisfy (“It’s like he’s setting me up to fail from beyond the grave” Chuck, 2X15). In other words, Chuck turned his successes into a mean to finally conquer his father’s love and acceptance and his failures into confirmations that he didn’t deserve his father’s approval and affection. In both cases, affection – or lack of it – is linked to an action; Chuck’s personality, indeed, remains intolerable for Bart.  

6.  They tend to block their feeling through compulsive behaviors

I will start by stating, just to be clear, that Chuck isn’t an addict. As I said, everything in Chuck’s life is subjected to a rigid repression; and it definitely includes his use of drugs and his drinking. Under normal circumstances, even though he is a drinker and an occasional drug user, Chuck keeps his vices controlled.

That being said, it is true that, during moments of profound crisis, we saw him losing control and showing compulsive behaviors intended to keep him from feeling a pain he couldn’t handle. It especially happens when Chuck has to deal with loss – since he can’t elaborate it, he suppresses his emotions however he can (abusing alcohol and drugs, meaningless sex, ecc). At the beginning of season five, the repressed pain of losing Blair causes him to detach from his emotions in such a deep way that he becomes unable to feel anything – even physically. 

It also must be mentioned that, for a long time, Chuck has had almost no respect for his life. Though the only time he was actually suicidal was after Bart’s “death” (2X14), he still showed till season five a dangerous carelessness with his health and with the value of his existence. He was often reckless and irresponsible; to use his own words from 3X22, he “didn’t care if he lived or died”.

His attitude towards sex, though, is probably the clearest example of a compulsive behavior implemented to suffocate feelings.

There’s no shame in sex and it’s not my intention to judge anyone’s sex life as right or wrong. Chuck was a precocious boy; he had his first sexual experience at the age of eleven, he is a very sexual, passionate person and eroticism certainly has an important role in his life. He enjoys sex and he’s completely open-minded about any kind of practices in this area.

However, it’s undeniable that he also uses sex to kill the pain. Generally, to Chuck, sex and intimacy don’t coincide. He doesn’t establish a connection with his sexual partners; he never sees them again after (in 2X21, he mentions he only has sex with people once) and sometimes entertains himself with escorts – the less emotionally demanding way to have sex ends up being paying for it. While sex (even random one) is usually an engaging experience, to Chuck sometimes it is a mere mechanical act that has the only purpose to numb sufferance and anxiety.

Blair, of course, is an exception. She was the first person with whom he managed to build a true connection, to the point that sex became fundamental in their relationship. With her, he reaches a complete emotional involvement; he concedes himself to her fully, he’s generous, trusting and attentive. It is interesting to notice, as I’ve already mentioned, that when Chuck is emotionally blocked, Blair consciously uses sex to reach out to him, for she knows that a physical connection with her will also lead to an emotive one (for example, she seduces him to bring him to say “I love you” in 2X25 and in 3X14 she has sex with him before he manages to talk to her about his mother).

7. They find it hard to establish and enforce healthy boundaries with others.

Considering everything I’ve explained, it is understandable why building healthy relationships for Chuck is hard – and why he had to work so hard on himself in order to handle them better. I think it’s safe to admit, at least from my point of view, that his relationships will never be completely “healthy” (although this is a pretty relative concept), for the simple fact that he is, logically, a profoundly and somewhat irreparably damaged person.

That being said, over time and thanks to a long and hard journey, Chuck learnt to cope with his daemons and to make his relationships work in a less dysfunctional way; he learnt that he doesn’t own the ones who he loves, that trust is fundamental for a bond to be unbreakable, that relationships work through compensation and ability to compromise and, eventually, that allowing the people he chose to spend his life with to see his weakest, most vulnerable sides doesn’t mean failing; it means accepting their love and their support and allowing them to make him stronger.

Above all, trusting people represented the biggest problem to Chuck and his inability to do so was often the main reason behind the crisis of his relationships.

Having been tested his whole life by his father (it is my opinion, for example that Bart left him the responsibility of Bass Industries when he faked his death with the intention to see if he was capable), Chuck used to assume that testing his loved ones’ loyalty was the only way he had to be sure of their affection. It’s a behavior that often puts him in a lose/lose situation. What happens in 3X17 is probably the most exhaustive example.

Betrayed by his mother, Chuck tests Blair’s love and devotion in a way that sets him up for losing her: if Blair accepts to have sex with Jack, she gives him a proof of her love, but she betrays his trust; if she doesn’t accept, then her love isn’t what he expected it to be. Either ways, he’ll be destroyed.

His difficulty to trust people is also what brings him to be so jealous and to expect from others the same exclusivity he gives to relationships. In his friendship with Nate, for example, he doesn’t tolerate other people’s intrusions; Nate’s need to have a wider circle of friendships almost feels like a betrayal to Chuck, since his fear of abandon leads him to think those who love him will find someone better than him and realize he’s worthless.

His insecurity tends to make him suspicious and his inability to communicate his feelings and his needs leads him to manipulate people around him to keep them from leaving him.

In conclusion, I think Chuck shows all the traits of a shame based personality. Personality is, according to my view, an only marginally changeable element; consequentially, it is my opinion that the dysfunctionalities coming from the structure of personality Chuck presents still belong to his life and inevitably play a role in it. However, a journey of growth and evolution taught him to live with it in a healthier way, one that allowed such a damaged and emotionally deficient person to build a happy life for himself and for his family.

Happy Friday the 13th!!

I don’t post (or take) too many selfies. But today felt a little different. I felt confident in my own skin and ready to hit the gym.

I got my hair did (I take speech lessons from missy Elliot) a few weeks ago, and bought a few new things for the gym. My new Capri leggings are very cute and flattering. And my new bra from Victoria secret is amazing! If you’ve got a C cup or bigger I’d recommend one of their bras.

I see my belly showing through and some days I feel like it’s gigantic. We all have our insecurities but I think it’s important to remember just this - you are not alone. We all are fighting our own insecurities.

Whelp - have a fabulous Friday everyone! Can’t wait to fill you in on Sunday where I’m sitting at for my fitness goals. Don’t be a stranger - I welcome new friends! Always down for a good conversation. :)

Stronghold- Loki x Reader(f) x Steve   Ch.3

A/N: this chapter includes the teaser from a few weeks ago. I hope you guys enjoy this because the next chapter is going to be super angsty. 

A huge thank you to @hymnofthevalkyries for being my beta on this fic! You’re the greatest Momma V!

WARNINGS:

-Over all: emotional and mental abuse, violence, anxiety and nightmares. There will be fluff eventually, I promise :)

-For this chapter: fear of rejection, I don’t think there are any other things I need to warn you about but let me know of you see one .

Originally posted by rogerses

  Thor held her hand tightly as they traveled to midguard. She was thankful for his grasp, having only traveled through the bifrost once before, when she was brought to the palace. She hated the journey then and she hated it now, it made her head spin and stomach churn. However, she refused to get sick when they finally landed in a large feild somewhere in midguard. 

Keep reading

2

Guys. That’s my crabby face today on the right. And the biggest reason I should not be crabby on the left. I’m wearing shorts in January. Thank you, Texas winter.

Here are other reasons I should not be crabby today:
1. I have a very promising job lead. One interview yesterday, and another one in the works.
2. I had a GREAT check in with Sab today. One of those where she sends me a photo from 8 weeks ago and I’m like - gah, I’ve made so much progress!
3. I bought edible glitter for the new cupcake recipe I’m making up tomorrow. I can’t wait to see what my taste testers think.
4. I’ve been running and I mostly feel good.
5. I’m going to Toronto next week for a few days, then meeting my parents, Tiff and Scott in Florida. Thanks to my current sabbatical from work for giving me time to see my long distance boyfriend and my friends/family all in one week and in two different places.
6. Yes, I did mention long distance relationship. More on that some time, maybe. He’s great, though.
7. Tacos. Because, always tacos.

Good things, y'all.

3

      I just watched Jurassic Park again last night and it had me in the mood to write a Jurassic Park / World imagine.  Thanks for the request!  I hope you enjoy it!  I think I may have gotten a few of the details wrong since I saw the movie a few weeks ago so I’m sorry, but I hope it still made sense.

     The truck fell across the rocky terrain, your dad and Claire struggling to keep the vehicle one step ahead of the chasing Raptors.  You were wedged between Gray and Zach, helpless to do anything but watch the group of Raptors attack the back door, trying to open it.

     “Are you ok?”  Zach asked, looking away from the raptors and towards you instead.  You hadn’t even noticed the tears streaming down your face until he reached over and rubbed his thumb under your eye.

     “Yeah.  I just never thought that I’d see the day that they turned on us.”  You murmured, jumping when the door to the truck flew open, banging loudly against the side of the truck.  The moment between Zach and you dissipated into fear as the raptors accessibility to the truck became easier.  You found yourself screaming along with Gray as the door continued to fly around and bang open and shut as your dad pressed harder on the accelerator.

     “What do we do?!”  Gray shouted, fear laced in his voice as one of the raptors managed to jump onto the back of the truck, screeching at the three of you.  You felt panic squeezing at your chest as you struggled to figure out what to do.  Zach was steps ahead of you, reaching around to unlock a large cylinder container and rolling it around to be at your feet.

     “Push.”  He shouted.  Without hesitation the three of you kicked the cylinder across the floor and watching as it connects with the Raptor and sending it tumbling back out of the truck.

     “Shut the door!”  You shouted, struggling to unclip your seatbelt and racing towards the door on unsteady feet.  Zach hurried behind you with Gray, grabbing the door handle when it swung closed once and locking it into place.  After making sure it was successfully closed you all slunk back to your seats, sighing deeply.

     “Good job.”  Zach smiled at you, clicking his seat belt back on as you mimicked his actions.

     “I only shut the door.  You’re the one who actually did something really helpful.”  You pointed out, sagging back against the wall of the truck.

     “We were both helpful.”  He countered.  The group of you fell into silence as the truck continued down the road, this time no raptors chasing after it thankfully.

     “Do you think that they’ll be ok?”  You asked suddenly, looking over at a confused Zach.  “The Raptors.  With the I-Rex running around there’s no telling what other dinosaurs are going to get out.  What if they get hurt?”  You clarified.

     “They’re some of the smartest dinosaurs they are.  I think they’ll be fine.”  Gray piped up, earning an eye roll from his older brother.

     “Thanks Gray.”  You smiled, ruffling the smaller boys hair and laughing lightly.  Zach leaned back against the truck wall as well and fiddled with the zipper on his sweatshirt, glancing over at you.

     “When we get out of here…. Do you want to go on a date?  Little brother free?”  He asked, taking you by slight surprise.  You hesitated before nodding slowly.

      “Yeah.  I’d like that.”

Stars/Berena fanfic

So after this weeks episode, I laid awake in my bed staring through the curtains at the stars. I think it’s been fairly obvious that the entire Berena fandom has been shook by happened just a few days ago. I myself took a little break from writing but when I was watching the night sky, I couldn’t stop thinking about Bernie. Being strong for someone else when you’re also in pain is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to endure and I really felt for Bernie in this instance. So I wrote this. 

Stars 

After leaving Serena to her phone call with Edward, Bernie takes a moment to gather her strength and reconnect with those she couldn’t imagine being without. Her kids. 

Keep reading

Not Everything Stays In Vegas

This one-shot idea had been running around in my head for a while, but I think it maybe should have stayed there. I hope you enjoy it.


I look out the window of the airplane as be touch ground in Vegas. It was a Christmas gift from both of our parents. I just turned twenty-one a few weeks ago, and Maya manage to convinced both of our parents that this was something we needed.

As soon as we are off the plain, she pulls me to the baggage claim area to get our suitcases, and then we rush outside to get a taxi.

While we are outside waiting, I pull out my phone and log into my college portal but before the page can load my phone is snatched out of my hand.

“No school. We are Christmas break and in Vegas!”

“I just want to see if I passed my finals.”

Maya rolls her eyes and shakes her head, “No. I know you did great, and if you check and your grade is even half a point off where you want it, you will beat yourself up for it. So, no.”

I groan, “Fine. I won’t check.”

“You can check in four days when we are back in New York. For now, we are going to get crazy. Who knows, you might meet someone and get married.”

“HA HA, very funny.”

“Oh right, you’re in love with your tutor.”

“Whatever,” I laugh.

A taxi becomes available and we hurry to it. The drive is about fifteen minutes, and once we pull up front of the hotel both of our eyes widen. We’ve seen pictures of it, but to be here in front of the Bellagio it’s more beautiful in person.

Maya is the one who checks us in, I’m too memorized by the beauty.

“C’mon our room in on the fifth floor.” We excitedly rush our way to the elevator with our suitcases. Maya and I are bouncy on our toes as we move up.

When we get into the room, I am in awe. It’s beautiful. An orange and white pattern wallpaper. A single queen bed in the middle of the room with a white comforter with blue and orange throw pillows on the bed. Brown bedside tables on each side of the bed with a larger one by the door with a TV mounted on the wall above it.

Maya and I are instantly drawn to the baby blue sofa bench by the window. We drop our stuff on the floor and move to take a seat. The sun is just setting, and we watch as the lights slowly start to turn on around the city. It’s marvelous.

Maya starts to stand, “Okay get ready, we’re going out.”

“Out? But we just got here. Shouldn’t we rest?”

Maya throws her head back laughing, “We only have three nights here. We are going out.”

It’s ten o’clock when we are both finally ready. Maya has on a warm fitting red dress that goes to about her mid-thigh with black pumps. She has a smoking eye with a dramatic red lip color. Me, on the other hand, has on a little black dress that flares out with nude heels. My make-up is nothing like Maya’s, just a little eye-liner with a little mascara and a tint of red for my lips. The only thing that is similar on the both of us, is our hairstyle. We both have our hair cascading down our back in waves.

We get to the club, and I feel on edge. There is so many people. I never go out, only occasionally when Maya drags me out with her.

“Let’s get you a drink, so you can loosen up,” Maya grabs my hand and pulls me to the bar. She orders two gimlets. It takes a couple of minutes for the bartender to make our drinks and places them in front of us. I take little sips, but Maya downs its. She really is here to party. I guess I’ll be babysitting her tonight.

The night goes on and Maya continues to order a variety of drinks for the both of us. I cut myself off after four, but Maya keeps going. I drink enough, to relax a bit but I can still keep an eye on Maya. Throughout the night we move between the dance floor and the bar. We ignore the few guys that try to hit on us.

When midnight rolls around, I’m exhausted. I was tired when we first got to the hotel, but she insisted on coming out. I have to beg Maya to leave, and after ten minutes of doing so she reluctantly comes with me. We wait outside for the uber that I called.

When the driver finally gets here, we climb in. I open my mouth to tell him to take us to our hotel but Maya speaks first.

“Yeah, is there a tattoo parlor anywhere near here?” her words slur.

“Maya, no!” I say sternly.

She laughs, “We always talked about getting matching tattoos when you turned eighteen, and we never did. You’re my sister, and I want to share this with you,” it’s hard to understand her mumbled words.

I sigh in frustration, “Fine. The tattoo parlor it is,” I don’t know why I gave in to easily. It might have been the few drinks that are in my system.

The drive to the tattoo place was a fairly fast drive. I can feel the nervousness bubble in my stomach as we get out of the car and walk inside. I never liked needles; I nearly fainted the first time I had to get my blood drawn, and here I am getting a tattoo meaning a needle will be stabbing my skin. The thought makes me cringe.

I take a seat in of the chairs they have and wait as Maya goes to talk to someone. The longer I sit the more anxious I grow; this is a bad idea. I slowly rise from the chair and walk over the counter where Maya and a man are talking. He walks away just as I take my place next to Maya.

“Peaches this is a bad idea can we go, please!” I beg, and she shakes her head.

She snickers, “I already paid for our tattoos.”

I roll my eyes, “I’m not going to be able to get out of this am I?” again she shakes her head. “Can I at least know what is going to be on my body forever?” She holds out her phone and shows me a sun and a moon intertwined.

“It’s what we always talked about.”

I let out a deep breath, “I’m going to get it tiny and right here,” I touch my collar bone and Maya laughs. “What’s funny?”

“Pick a different stop honey. It’s going to hurt, you’re all bone there.”

I shake my head with the stubbornness I’ve been known for, “No, that’s where I want it.”

Maya throws her hand up in surrender, “Fine, but here,” she reaches into her purse and pulls out a black bedazzled flask, “take a swig of this. You’re going to need it.”

I take it from her hand and twist the cap off. I place it too my lips and take a big gulp. I instantly start coughing as the vodka slides down my throat. I feel the burning sensation, and Maya starts laughing at the face I make. She takes the flakes from me and take two drinks like it’s water.

We stand there by the counter waiting a few minutes, before they call Maya and I to two separate stations.

“Wait you are aren’t going to be with me?” I ask nervously which causing my voice to crack.

“You’ll be fine, and look,” she gestures to the two-tattoo artist setting up right across from each other, “we’ll be able to see each other. It’ll be fine.”

She starts to walk to her station, and I hesitantly walk to mine. I can hear my heart pounding in my chest as I take a seat in the tattoo chair. I shift around trying to get comfortable, mostly trying to shake my nervous off. I’m freaking out right now.

The guy laughs, “First tattoo?”

“Ye-yeah. Is it noticeable?”

He nods, “Just a little. I’m John,” he holds out his hand and I take it, “I’m Riley.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” he spins in his chair to grab something behind him and turns back around. He shows me the stencil of the tattoo, “Is this okay? Your friend over there said you wouldn’t want to go bigger than dollar size coin.”

“It’s perfect.”

He asks where I want it and I touch my collar bone. He tries to convince me into moving to a different area because it’s my first tattoo, and suggest placing it somewhere that I have more meat. I don’t move it; I want it where I want. I’m sure I’ll regret it as soon as he starts tattooing.

I pull the strap down of my black dress down my arm, so he can place the stencil to my skin. After he has everything all set up, he slips on a pair of black gloves over his hands. I watch him as he puts the needle into his tattoo gun, and I start to fidget with my hands; I can feel the sweat in my palms.

He tests the tattoo gun and the sound startles me. I take a few deep breaths to try to relax myself. What did I get myself into?

“Maya?” I call out. “Are you sure you can’t come here and hold my hand?” This make my both of our tattoo artists and Maya laugh.

“I can’t. Elizabeth here is just about to get started,” her words are even more slurred than before. “It’ll be fine, don’t be a baby.” I hear a tattoo gun turn on, and I look over at Maya just as the needle touches her sick.

She flitches slightly, but other than that she isn’t fazed by the fact that a needle is piercing her skin. She’s getting her tattoo on the back of her neck.

John starts his gun, and I close my eyes. “Okay I’m going to get started now. Are you ready?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay try really hard not to move.”

I open my eyes slightly, and I see him inching closer and closer to my skin. I snap my eyes close and grip onto the armrest. I feel the needle hit my skin and my grip tightens. The noise stops and I open my eyes. John pulls back slightly, “Are you okay?” I nod. “Want me to keep going?” I nod again.

The noise resumes and my eyes shut. I have to breath my way through the whole thing. After about ten minutes, I ask him if he can stop and sit up.

“I’m sorry,” I say in a hush tone.

John laughs, “Don’t be. Trust me, I’ve seen worse.”

I take one deep breath and let it out, “Okay I’m ready.” I hear the bell from the front door ring. I look and see a familiar green eyed man walk in with a friend. My heart starts racing, and I thought I was nervous before.

“Someone will be right with you,” John yells out. I lean back and the sound of the buzzing coming from the tattoo gun is drowned out by the sound of my pounding heart.

Lucas POV

As soon as my buddy Zay and I walk into the tattoo parlor a man shouts out to us. Why I let Zay drag me here at one in the morning is beyond me. I hear laughter coming from one of the tattoo stations, and I see a blonde getting a tattoo. I guess some people thinks it tickles.

“Oww!” I hear someone else yell who is hidden by a wall divider.

“Are you okay, honey?” the blonde yells out still with her face down. When she doesn’t get a response, she signals for her tattoo artists to stop and looks up. She looks around the room, her eyes are low, and I’m assuming she’s had a few drinks.

She looks around the room, and points to me. “You with the blue button up, can you go hold her hand? I would, but I’m kind of in the middle of something,” her words all run together. It’s almost hard to understand her.

“No pea, OWW!” the mysterious girl shouts.

“C’mon man, go help a distress lady out,” Zay teases me and shoves me in the direction of the girl.

I slowly walk in her direction, and my eyes widen as soon as I see her. Her eyes are shut tight, and I can tell she is in a lot of pain. Her tattoo artist nods his head in the direction of the chair next her. I slowly maneuver my way around everything.

I know this girl. She’s the same girl that I had tutored in human bio our freshmen year at Cornell. She seemed to excel at any other subject besides sciences because sophomore year I tutored her in chemistry. After she was done with sciences, I try to come up with any excuse to talk to her. I always wanted to ask her out, but I never thought someone as amazing as her would go for someone like me.

I watch as her grip tightens around the armrest. “Are you okay?” her eyes shoot open and look at me. Her brown eyes have always captured me. She smiles slightly, “Hey, Riley.”

“Hi,” she says softly and I smile.

“Hi,” I shake my head, “You doing okay?”

“Yeah I’m, OH MY GOD!” she squeezes her eyes shut. I naturally reach for her hand. She opens her eyes slightly as I interlock our fingers. She smiles at me, and I wonder if she can hear my heart racing because it is echoing in my ear. I can’t seem to pull my gaze from her. She is stunning.

When the tattoo artist starts to shade her hold on my hand tightens, and I don’t mind it one bit. Ten minutes go by when I hear someone clear their throat. I look up and see the blonde standing there.

She takes a few takes and stumbles a little bit. I quickly stand up, and help in the chair I was sitting in. Her blue eyes study my face and she starts to smile.

“You look really familiar,” I can smell the alcohol on her breath.

“Maya,” Riley’s voice raises slightly.

“I’m almost done here,” the man tattooing Riley chimes in. She looks at him and nods.

Her friend snatches her small purse out of her lap, and pulls out her phone. I slowly start to walk away back to Zay who is smiling at me.

“It’s Riley!” I whisper yell.

“Riley?” Zay say louder than I wanted him to. I shush him, and he laughs. “You’ve been obsessing over her since you started tutored her your freshmen year.”

I turn around and see Maya stumbling towards us. She’s snaps her fingers and laughs, “You’re Lucas Friar.”

I laugh, “I am.”

“Oh my god! Riles has been in love with the second she saw you! In your tutor sessions, she use to sneak pictures of you.”

Zay burst into laughter, “He did the same thing! I still listen to him gush over her!” I smack his arm with the back of my hand, and he rubs it. “Not nice!”

A few minutes later, Riley emerges from behind the wall divider and stands next to her friend Maya.

“So, your friend here tells us you love my boy Lucas,” he places his hand on my shoulder. I watch as a tint of red washes over her face.

She laughs nervously, and I think it is adorable. “Maya here is drunk I think it’s best if I get her back to the hotel.”

“Do you guys need a ride?” I ask a little too eagerly.

She shakes her head, “No I have an uber on its way. C’mon peaches.” I watch as she drapes her friend’s arm around my neck. I quickly move to open the door. “Thank you,” she smiles at me and my heart fastens.

“We are staying at the Bellagio. Come and surprise the girl of your dreams here,” Maya laughs and Riley shakes her head.

“Don’t listen to her. She speaks a lot of non-sense when she has too much to drink. You two have a goodnight.”

“Yeah, you, too.”

I watch as they disappear into a car, and it drives away.

“Man, you got it bad,” Zay pats my back.

“I really do, but she’s incredible,” I say still staring out the window smiling like a fool.

Third Person POV

The next day, Riley had hoped that Lucas would do what Maya said and surprise her at the hotel, but he never shows. And she now thinks that his friend was just joking around. Hoping they think the same with everything Maya said.  

However, Lucas shows up the next day at the hotel and goes to the front counter and asks if a Riley Matthews is staying here, but they answer no. He didn’t know that it was under Maya’s name. And now he thinks it was all a joke. He knew there was no way Riley would have feelings for him.

Even though they both think it was a joke, they spend the rest of their time trying to find each other instead of trying to enjoy Las Vegas. When Riley goes out with Maya during the day site seeing, she is lost in a Lucas filled daze; and when Lucas goes out with Zay, all his thoughts are of the beautiful brunette. Even during the night life, Riley’s eyes wondered about the club trying to find that man that holds her heart. Lucas does the same. Neither one of them knew that they were both in almost all the same places at the same time, just slightly missing each other.

It’s the morning that Riley and Maya go home, and it’s safe to say that both girls are exhausted.

“I shouldn’t have drunk so much last night,” Maya says as both girls walk to the front desk to check out. “It’s going to be a long flight.”

Riley laughs, “I told you to take it easy. Wait here, I’ll go check us out.” Riley walks over to the front desk and a brunette with hazel eyes greets her. It takes five minutes for him to get everything sorted out, and the girls checked out. Once everything is all set, the girls find their way into a taxi and to the airport.

All the way through security, Maya looks sick.

“Are you okay?” Riley asks concern.

She nods, “I think so.” Maya leans her head on Riley’s shoulder, “I’m sorry that I forced you into getting a tattoo.”

Riley sighs with a little laugh, “You didn’t force me, gave me a little nudge.”

“Well, then I’m sorry I told Lucas that you love him.”

“That I haven’t forgiven you just yet.” Riley takes a deep, “Maya he never came to the hotel. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little hurt.”

“Well it’s his lost. C’mon let’s go home.”

Once Maya and Riley take their seats, Maya grows nauseous. She tries to hold it all together. When the flight starts to take over, Maya waits until it’s safe to unbuckle her seat belt and dashes to the back of the plane to the bathroom. Riley almost feels bad, but she did warn her that they had an early flight.

Riley looks out the window, and the sound of rustling next to her grabs her attention. Riley laughs, “Do you feel better,” she says as she turns towards her, but instead she is faced with a pair of green eyes staring at her.

“Hi,” Lucas smiles.

“Hi,” Riley blushes.

“Is this awkward for you? Your friend said that this should make up for her big mouth.” Riley chuckles. “She’s sitting with my friend back there,” he gestures towards the end of the plane. “They can both be hung over together,” laughter pours out of both of their mouths.

Silence fills the air between the two of them as brown orbs meet green ones. “You never came to the hotel,” Riley says. She tries to stop herself, but she keeps going, “I mean I wasn’t sure if you were going to show up, but I was hopeful. I have these really intense feelings for you. I spent the rest of this trip hoping I would run into you, but I didn’t, well not until now. What Maya said in the tattoo parlor was true,” Riley instantly slaps her hand over her mouth and Lucas laughs. His laugh makes Riley melt. “I’ve said too much.”

Lucas shakes his hand laughing, “No,” a slight pause. “You ramble when you’re nervous. It’s cute, but Riley I feel the same way. It’s this instant connection I felt with you as soon as I seen you. I know it sounds like a line out of a movie, but I’ve had feelings for you from that very moment. I’ve wanted to ask you out from the very first day, but I always got tongue tied. I mean look at you. You’re smart, beautiful, funny, and kind.” A smile consumes Riley’s whole face. “When get back to New York, will you go out on a date with me?” Lucas asks nervously.

“I would love to,” joy washes over both of their faces. Riley rest her arm on the armrest, and Lucas does the same.

Their fingers brush, and every time Lucas feels like his fingers getting to close his moves his hand slightly. Riley giggles at his nervousness. “Lucas, do you want to hold my hand?” Riley teases.

“I would like to very much,” Lucas opens his hand and Riley places hers in his. This is what they both have dreamt of for the past four years, and they have their meddling best friends to thank for it.

I got asked a few weeks ago by pictosays if I had any tips for upcoming film students, now I’m nowhere near an expert but this is what I have come up with from personal experience.

Learn from the ground up 
You are in school for a reason, don’t walk in thinking you know everything because you made a film for A Level Film Studies, everyone did and people will get annoyed with you rather quickly.

Take risks
University is the time to take risks in your work, you have a safety net, use it to your advantage.

Get experience
Talk to 2nd/3rd years to get roles on set, they need some extra hands on set and you need to know how a set works in the ‘real world’.  Also use your summer/weekends wisely, get an internship or some runner jobs at a production company. Hands on experience is invaluable and a foot in the door never hurt.

Be nice to your peers
In film school more so than others you have to work in teams, it’s part of the industry and it’s a part of everyday life. Don’t make enemies you will regret. 

Theory is important
It’s one thing being able to make a film look nice but if the shot has no real relevance/meaning then it’s pretty useless. 

Use Lynda.com
I use this website all the time, it has detailed tutorials on all industry standard software. There is a subscription fee but most (mine anyway?) universities offer a subscription as part of the degree. (Also Avid is the industry standard for editing Feature/Hollywood films at least get your head around the workflow) 

Be prepared to self-teach
This is true of all subjects but in film somethings you just have to figure out yourself, you have to figure out your own workflow. So instead of complaining about it just get stuck in - you never know it could be fun. 

Don’t get cocky about your specialism 
You want to be a director? Awesome, go for it but have a backup. Director isn’t the only job available and it also isn’t ‘the most important’. Film sets are nothing without all the other departments, learning how they work will do you no harm.

Watch films!
Expected really but at times you get caught up in production, make time to go to the cinema or to re-watch your favourite film, remind yourself why you do what you do. Also expand your genres, watch the classics and go to experimental film festivals because inspiration can come from the strangest places.

That’s everything I have for now, it’s also good to remember my BA is more fine art film than feature/hollywood but the principles the same - play around, find your niche and work hard.

If you have any questions just drop me a message :)

*Jordan Parrish*  Sheriff's Daughter

girl X Jordan Parrish

Plot: Mia is saved from being erased from everyone’s lives by the hellhound

Word count: 1,452

A/N: I wasn’t really in the mood of writing, but I bring you a Parrish Imagine.


Every time I walked into the police station, I felt something was different. It started a few weeks ago, but I thought nothing of it. I just kept pushing the feeling away until Lydia Martin came to me with the name, Stiles. 

I’ve only know that name as grandpa’s, but other than that. I’ve never heard it, well as least I don’t think I have. 

“Stilinski!”

I turned my head and Smiled instantly when I saw Jordan. Our relation is a little complicated, We’re together, But we’re not publicly together. He’s scared for my dad’s reaction when we tell him. He all ways tries to keep it professional when he’s around. He fail miserably.  

“Parrish, up to no good, I see.” I comment as we meet in the center of the station. At this moment all I could think about was how good he looked in his uniform. The fabric was tighter against his skin, Showing off his whole figure. 

Who tolled you?” he teased with a playful smile, God that smile is my weakness. I giggled slightly and my smile grew on its own. “Think you’re so funny, don’t you?” My voice was smooth as I saw him struggle under my dull blue eyes. 

“Well you do, Don’t you?” He smirked knowing I laughed at anything he said. 

“Stop!” I seethed through a laugh as I hit his chest playfully, “Anyways hows work?” I asked curiously as I changed the subject. “Actually I was just going through some old file, Before you disturbed me.” He pointed towards me. 

I shrugged, “Well I guess my dad could use my company anyway.” I teased as I started walking away. “No, I was joking.” He chuckled as he grabbed my hand and pulled me back. “I know, Jordan.” I giggled joining into his laugh.

“But did you find the file from when I got arrested?” I asked. His expression changed from a beautiful smile to shocked. It’s cute how he looked like a deer in headlights. 

“There is no way the sheriff’s daughter got arrested.” Jordan stated as he crossed his arms over his chest, challenging me. 

“I’m guessing that’s a no than, but, yeah I was a rebel a while back.” I said nodding my head. “I mean you could as my dad.” I said. 

“I’ll take your word for it, but do carry on.” He nodded encouraging for me to continue. “You know what is actually isn’t that important.” I smirked, I’ll tell him one of these years. 

“Parrish!” A silky male voice called, I turned around after seeing Jordan looking over my shoulder. Coming towards us was Scott’s little pack, I knew them through Scott. I just can’t remember how I knew him, Weird

“We were interrupting something, weren’t we?” Mason ask squinting his eyes at the both of us. 

“No.” Jordan said,

“Yes.” I said.

We said the two words in sync, Jordan glanced at me with furrowed eyebrows. “M’ Kay.” Corey said awkwardly sensing some little tension. “I was just leaving, Bye guys. Jordan.” I said Jordan’s name flatly.

“Mia.” Jordan responded. 


I woke up to a an ice cold breeze blowing over my skin. My eyes shot open from the sudden shot of cold. I shuffled into the warm body next to me, cuddling into his sides. We’re wrapped in silky smooth red blankets, almost naked from earlier in the night.

Loud thunder lightened up the dark room for a split second. The first that came to mind was the wild hunt. I shivered and tried to get rid of the paranoid feeling deep inside. I rested my head higher on Jordan’s chest closing my eyes, trying to go back to sleep. 

It wasn’t easy sneaking around with Jordan with my parents living in the same town. My dad is his boss and he was starting to build a relationship with my mom. Stiles-wait whose Stiles? 

That name keeps popping up like a sixth sense. 

The sound of boots clunking on wood got louder. I was almost a sleep when I heard the sound, my eyes snapped back open. I thought I was just being paranoid, but it feels as if somebody else was in Jordan’s house with us

The right thing to do was to shake Jordan awake, instead I crawled out of bed. I cringed when my feet gingerly touched the floor. I ignored it and carried on walking out of the room in only my royal blue lingerie 

The right thing to was to shake Jordan wake, but instead I got out of bed. I cringed when my feet touched the cold floor, Ignored it and began walking out only wearing my blue lingerie.

I saw it.

The wild hunt.

A cowboy hat and boots, long hair and a trench coat going to his calve. No face, just a mask. A whip and gun held in his holster. My breathe got caught in my throat as I slowly made my way backwards. I was terrified feeling it run in my bones. To shocked to say anything or too even yell for Jordan.  

He moved with a fast pace towards me as I made my way backwards. deeper into the hallway. brown and dead leave blew everywhere from the powerful wind. Lighting flashed through the house, I jumped. 

I back up to the closet door at the end of the hallway. I had nowhere to go, I couldn’t do anything to stop him. I’ll be gone, no one would remember me. 

JORDAN!” The yell came out as a straggled cry, I felt so weak. I was weak and I hated it with everything inside me. I felt to heat before I saw it. 

he’s naked when he came into view, Jordan’s whole body is on fire as his eyes glowed a bright orange. He wasnt Jordan anymore, he’s the hellhound, my hellhound. He looked at me against the closet fear running in my blue eyes. Breathing heavily, probably hearing my pounding heart. 

He growled as I felt it vibrate through my body, he was looking right at the ghost rider. Making him stop and turn his attention towards him. The hellhound roared this time, shaking the ground under my feet. He took fast steps to the ghost rider, walking with stronger power.

“Jordan!” I screamed, scared for his well being. Blood rushed through my veins and all I could do was stand here. The hellhound ignored my cry this time and continued with him. 

The ghost rider disappeared with green and blue dust, taking the wind, leaves, and lighting with him. I took a deep breath and sighing in relief, I was still here and Jordan was still alive.

What if he wasn’t? I don’t want to think about it, it already hurt as if someone drew a knife through my heart. 


I watched Jordan as His back became fire-less and ashy. His shoulders moved up and down from breathing heavily. He stayed there for a few seconds before he turned around to look at me with his now brown eyes. Fear hosting behind his eyes, I didn’t think when I ran to him.

He caught me holding me tight against his extremely hot body. I didn’t care all I cared was  Jordan was here with me and know. My breathing started to slow while I wanted this moment to last forever.

I didn’t know how long we stayed there in each other arms. Could have been seconds, minutes, or even hours before Jordan spoke up. “Are you okay?” He whispered pulling me away.

“When I’m with you I couldn’t be better.” I lightly smiled trying to change to scene of mood. Jordan didn’t smile only scowled at me, “How are you so calm, I could of lost you.” He raised his voice at me.

“Jordan I-” I said a little taken back, but he cut me off.

“If you didn’t call for him, you’d be gone, our memories would be gone. I wouldn’t  remember you at all.” Jordan burst out. 

I sighed, “What would be so back about being gone?” I asked, Knowing I had feeling for him, why would me care if I was gone anyways.

“Well, because I love you and I think I might just lose myself without you.” He said rubbing the back on his neck. I smiled, “I think we should tell them now.” I stated. 

“Why?” He asked clueless-ly. 

“Because I didn’t call for the hellhoud, I called for you, Jordan.” I smiled up at him. 

“What?” He asked happily before pulling me closer and connecting our lips. I loved being so close to him, it felt like nothing was better than this. There was nothing better than this. 

We pulled apart slowly as his hands still held onto my waist, “Besides I love you too, Jordan Parrish.”

6

Some breakfast (upper row & middle row) and two easy spaghetti lunches - everything homemade! 💕

As I said a few weeks ago, I moved to holland in August and I am going to be honest: I have definitely gained some weight although the Dutch biking lifestyle has me moving around.

Right now I eat for health and not for weight loss, ergo I am not aiming for a proper deficit. I plan on joining a gym and a yoga studio in February when I come back from my Thailand/Myanmar - Trip! :) Also, although I eat mainly plant based aside from breakfast where eggs and milk are sometimes involved so I think about trying out the vegan way for a while next year to see how I feel about it.

Anything you’d like to know? :)

Goddamnit … no ship has caused me this much stress before. 

I really wanted Oswald to be the one to tell him. Are we getting a love confession from him at all at this point? I was hoping for a kiss but now I’m worried nothing but pain is going to happen sob. Not even a love confession.

But what if Ed seduces Oswald and kisses him to check if what Barbara is saying is true? And when Oswald returns the kiss he finally knows for sure. But that’s just wishful thinking. 

Also remember those pictures a few weeks ago with Oswald’s father (it looked like it was Clayface because of the eyes)? What if Ed is going to be the one responsible for that? Giving Oswald his father back and then killing him to show how much it hurts. 

I think he might go try stabbing him in the next ep but then change his mind at the last minute. Try to make him suffer as much as he had suffered instead. He might even leave his position as his right hand - without him Oswald will be weak. Handling being both major and the king of the underworld .. while also being completely heartbroken … oh wow this is not going to end well.

And we know that they are going to come ta an agreement but I have a feeling that is going to be a lot less satisfying than what we’re hoping for. The agreement might as well be a super cold one like - you hurt me and I hurt you. Let’s call it even and never speak to each other again. Fuck.

I don't trust mirrors.

lovely-lividity submitted:

This is one of the creepiest things to ever happen to me and i figured i’d share. 

A few weeks ago, i was spending the night at my friends house. It was late and we were both dozing off. I decided to get up to go use the bathroom before i fell fully asleep, and the way her basement is set up, that there’s a wall separating the living room from hallway. So i start walking and immediately notice something. The bathroom door is wide open. 

Keep reading

Princess

Originally posted by sparklemichele

Pairing: Eric x reader
Prompt: Eric and you have never really got along, so what happens when a mistake leads to you being stranded with him and the rest of your group far from home.
Fandom: Divergent series
Word count: 5124
Warning: Strong language that’s about it

A/N: I got a lot of good feed back from my last fic so I’m excited to present you guys this one. I think the description is a little sketchy but oh well. I wrote it surprisingly fast so chances are it won’t be that surprising if you spot a few grammar errors here or there. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy pretty please let me know what you think. -Lola

part 2

You where fully convinced that this was your personal hell. This had to be some kind of cruel punishment.

A week ago max announced that he had a mission of sorts that he needed a group of dauntless to check out clear on the other side of the city. It sounded easy enough, take a train trip, check it out, chase off any functionless if any, take some pictures and notes, bring it back to max.

If anything you where slightly looking forward to the trip mainly because Four managed to find a way to pull a few strings so that your group would consist of himself, You, Tris, Christina, Will, Zeke, and Uriah. There where a few other groups going but upon reaching the site everyone was to split up into there respective teams.

It was the day before the trip that Max announced that a dauntless leader would be required to supervise you all. You had prayed that it would be Jessica or maybe even Paul, just someone who wouldn’t make the whole experience miserable. Scratch that, there was really only one leader that truly crept under you skin. So you hoped and prayed that Max would tell this particular leader to just sit this one out.

Of course in the long run you should have realized that luck was never really on your side. The next morning you woke up at the crack of dawn and made your way down to the railways to meet up with everyone else.

Sure enough there standing off to the side of the crowd, having what appeared to be quite a heated discussion with Max was Eric himself.

You pushed your way through the thong of people and eventually spotted Four standing with the rest of your group waiting for train.

“What the fuck is Coulter doing here?” You demanded as you approached the group.

“Good morning to you too..” Four mumbled as you came closer.

“Is he coming with us?”

“Oh that’s right you didn’t hear the fabulous news last night, after you left the office. Eric’s the one in charge of us today.” Four looked and sounded less than delighted with the news.

“That’s just fucking great..” You grumbled shaking your head.

“Glad to hear your about as excited as i am about this whole thing, princess.” You heard a smug voice quip behind you. Groaning you turned around and glared at Eric.

“Don’t call me that and Is there seriously no one else who can do it?” You snapped back. You hated all the little pet names Eric called you by in order to get under your skin. ‘Princess’ had to be your least favorite of them all mainly because Eric has openly admitted that he only calls you that because he thinks your a primadonna.

Eric rolled his eyes at you, “Trust me when i said i tried getting out of this. It’s supposed to be my day off, But instead I get to spend it with you asshats while you play around in the dirt.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes at Eric’s bitching, You could hear the sound of the train as it approached and you turned your back to Eric to see if your team was ready.

“Quite the little team you got there Four..” Eric said tauntingly, Four who promptly decided that it was to early in the morning to deal with the other mans bullshit simply flicked him off before turning to help pull Tris off the ground where she had been sitting.

Everyone around you prepared to get on the train and before you knew it you spotted it round a corner and start heading your way.

You glanced over and noticed Eric waiting in your periphery. You could tell that he was in the perfect position to take off and be the first one on the train. That was the one thing about Eric, he always had to be first. So you decided to do the one thing that you knew would piss him off and took off a few moments before you needed too so you could get a head start in front of him.
It took Eric a few seconds to figure out what you where doing but once he did you could hear his footsteps fall in line next to yours as he tried to race you. You saw the train rush ahead of you and surged ahead of him just in time to latch onto the door handle and pull yourself up and on to the train. Eric entered a few seconds after you and you could see the nasty glare he sent your way earning a chuckle from you.

Zeke and Uriah had been right on your tails apparently and entered the train not long after you, soon followed by Tris and Four, Then Will and Christina. The rest of the people on the mission trickled in and after a few minutes Eric did a head count to make sure no one had been left behind.

You grew irritated upon realizing that it was a two and a half hour ride before you got to the right jump off point. You and Eric argued the whole time about any and everything.

“We need to jump off here Eric.” You snapped.

“No we don’t ___…” He said not even looking at you.

“Whatever..” You growled rolling your eyes at him. You turned to walk away but he quickly grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to him.

“Hey watch the attitude princess..” He whispered fiercely into ear, squeezing your arm tightly.

“Kiss my ass eric.” You spat at him.

“Sure thing bend over.” You yanked your arm from his grasp and glared at him before making your way to sit near your friends.

“What was that all about?” Uriah asked as you sat down.

“Oh you know Eric being an asshole as usual..” You muttered, picking at your nails.

A few minutes passed before Eric announced that everyone would have to jump off in a few minutes and do a long trek to the site because you had missed the stop you where supposed to jump off at. Everyone groaned upon hearing about having to walk almost a whole extra half a mile. But Eric made it quite clear, after a particularly snippy comment from Christina that the next person to bitch about he would personally ‘Escort’ off the train. No one liked the sound of that and pretty much everyone grew silent.

Everyone stood as it came time to exit. Zeke and Uriah pushed there way through the crowed and made sure that they where the first the jump off, They where followed by the rest of the people leaping wildly of the platform.
Before you knew there was only a small group of people left. The made your way to the exit but not before glancing over at Eric who was watching you coldly.

“I told you so, by the way..” was all you had to say, referencing the argument you two had previously, before jumping off the train and landing fairly gracefully.

The rest of the people made it off the train with ease, with Eric being the last person to jump off. Everyone recollected and you guys made the hike to the spot you where originally supposed to be at.

Eric was surprisingly quiet the whole time. Even despite how nice it was, it put you on edge mainly because he was pissed at you for the comment you made on the train. Whatever, you honestly didn’t have the time to worry about whether you hurt his feelings or not. But god knows he was probably plotting something.

The work was tedious. The land Max had sent you all to investigate had once been amity farm land, but a few years back all the amity in the area had upped and relocated after realizing that soil was better on the other side of the city. The area had been abandoned ever since. Jeanine was interested in trying to turn the lot into another research center of sorts but it was agreed, much to Jeanine’s displeasure, that it would be best if a group of trained dauntless soldiers checked it out instead of some erudite scientists.

It was a fairly large piece of land, thus explaining the need for all the groups. Your team was to take the section of land furthest away from the rail tracks. The other teams spread out throughout the land and Eric made himself useful by doing pretty much nothing other than barking orders and pissing people off.

You group worked all the way until just before sundown. Everyone was tried, hungry and a little pissed off. It was only as our group emerged from the little forest that separated the land you investigated from the rest of the area did you notice that there was no one around. Immediate panic set in and your team rushed in the direction of the train.

You where one of the fastest sprinters so you pulled ahead and raced around a bend and spotted the train in the distance. Your feet pounded into the dirt as you spotted Eric in the back of the group.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” You yelled into the wind catching his attention.Eric turned to the side and notice you behind him.

“Why aren’t you on the train?” He snapped back.

“I don’t know why did you leave my team behind.” Confusion crossed his features and he turned around to notice the rest of your friends struggling to close the large gap that separated you from then.

“Shit.” Was all he could say as he realized what happened, Eric then made the jump up on to the train.
“Get on the train.” Was all he said as he looked down at you, he reached a hand out for you to grab but you sneered in his direction.

“No, Eric.”  Your legs started to burn and your lungs where on fire.

“What do you mean no?” He snapped back. You tried to keep up with the train but your body was starting to fail you.
“I’m.. I’m not leaving… my group behind.” You yelled back breathlessly.

Eric was seething at this point and before you could react he reached down, leaning out of the train, and pulled you up by the back of your shirt. You hadn’t completely realized what was happening until you felt yourself being thrown on the floor of the train.
Everyone looked on in shock as you just laid there for a second.

“Your ass is in so much trouble when we get back!” He yelled in your direction. You pushed yourself up from the ground and brushed past him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He growled down at you.

“I’m not leaving my group behind asshole.” You snapped back.

“Yeah you are ___, get over it.” You moved away from him and reached out gripping your arm tightly.

“Get off me Eric.” You struggled against him for a few seconds and his grip tightened.

Panic started to set in as you realized that you had maybe a 30 second window to safely get off the train and join your group. So in a moment of frustration, anger, and just maybe a little fear you turned around and felt your fist connect to some part of Eric’s face.

His grip loosened as he realized that you had just hit him but as you yanked away he grabbed you one more time just as you where about to jump off. You lost your footing as you pulled against him and the floor disappeared from beneath you. 

Your body connected with the ground hard and it took you a few seconds to come to terms with what just happened. You heard a groan next to you and glanced over and noticed Eric lying next to you face down. You had just fallen off a train and somehow with your luck managed to pull Eric off with you.

“You’re so dead…” Was all he muttered as he started to push himself up. You just sat on the ground and watched as he tried to chase after the train but it was no use it was long gone. He realized that and let out long stream of curse words.

You heard foot steps approaching you. The rest of your team ran up to meet you guys. Tris and Christina immediately busied themselves with making sure you where okay and pulling you off the ground. They helped dust some of the dirt off you not that it was any use, you where covered in the stuff, so was Eric.

He turned around and glared as you stood up. You couldn’t help but feel a little pride as you noticed the angry looking red mark just below his eye from your first, That was so going to burse.

“What the fuck was that?!” He shouted once you where fully standing.

“I told you i wasn’t leaving my friends behind, Eric.” you growled back.

“You could have gotten us killed!”

“It’s not my fault you wouldn’t let go!”

“You are in so much trouble when we get back.” You rolled your eye’s at his threat and turned to everyone else. After checking to make sure everyone was ok you all stood there awkwardly for a few minutes.

“Well what now?” Will asked as he looked around.

“Wait for another train?” Suggested Uriah, Zeke nodding next to him.

Eric shook his head as he watched everyone with disinterest. “That was the last train today.”

“Are you serious?” You growled as you looked off into the distance where the train had disappeared.

“Oh don’t you fucking dare. Maybe if you had followed my orders, we..” He made a motion between you and him. “Wouldn’t be stranded out here!”

“Well maybe if you had done your job instead of sleeping all day none of us would be stranded out here!” After giving out the orders upon reaching the site, Eric proceeded to make himself comfortable under one of the massive trees and took a nap.

Although you do have to admit that he had been quite the sight lounging under the tree. He had his arms crossed over his chest, extenuating the muscles in his biceps and forearms. He leaned his back against the tree and stretched his long legs out, crossing them at the ankle. There was no denying that Eric was.. attractive to say the least. It was a shame his shitty personality ruined it.
You tried to shove any thought of Eric in a romantic or sexual since out of your head, slightly disgusted with yourself for being attracted to him.

“Well how long of a walk would it be..?” Uriah tried again.

“… It was a two hour train ride to get out here, dumbass.” Eric said looking at Uriah like he was a complete idiot.

“Leave him alone Eric, at least he is actually trying to help.” You snapped at him.

“Yeah cause that was a really helpful suggestion.” He snapped back,.

“Shut the fuck up Eric!” You growled.

“Watch your mouth, ___!” He snapped back.

“Or what?” You challenged smugly, he opened his mouth to respond but Four beat him to it.

“Both of you need to shut up, enough is enough. The train isn’t going to show up again till sunrise and Eric is right that’s too long a walk. It’s going to get freezing out as soon as the suns completely go down. We need to find shelter.” Everyone hushed to hear Four speak and we all agreed with what he was saying.

All day while working it had chilly out but by sundown it was going to be down in the 40′s. Right now the sun was going to start setting within the hour to and it got darker every minute and the air was beginning to feel bitter cold.

“I saw a cabin or something while we where working.” Tris piped up.

“Well then what are we waiting for people.” Zeke said loudly.

You guys made your way back to the work site a few minutes later and Tris lead the way to the cabin. The group did there best to keep you and Eric separated because god knows it was impossible for you two to get along.

Upon reaching the cabin, everyone realized that it was surprisingly large, for an old amity house. There where three regular sized bedrooms and one large master bedroom. Eric make it clear pretty that the master bedroom was his.

It wasn’t much of a surprise when Christina and Will claimed a bedroom for themselves giggling the whole time. Uriah and Zeke joked about being room mates again. You knew Four and Tris where just now getting to the point in there relationship where they would sleep in the same bed together. You could tell both of them where uncomfortable with the situation as they claimed a bedroom for themselves earning a snicker from Eric.

Almost all at once everyone glanced at you waiting, and it took you a second to realize what the issue was. There where no bedrooms left for you to take, The only place left for you to sleep was in the master bedroom, with Eric, or one the couch.
You glanced over at him and he had a cat caught the canary grin on his face.

“Why do i have to sleep on the couch?” You exclaimed.

“No one said you had to sleep there, princess.” Eric snickered again from the wall he leaned against.

“I guess I’m taking the couch.” You growled irritated, over your dead body where you going to share a bed with Eric.

“____ it’s going to get cold tonight and it didn’t look like there was a lot of extra blankets.” Four said calmly trying to reason with you.

“Well then I guess my ass will freeze to death because i am not sharing a bed with him.” You said irritated with what Four was insinuating.

“Fine by me.” Eric commented as he pushed himself off the wall and started to make his way up the stairs up to that master bedroom. He hovered at the top of the stairs for a second, looking down.

“But i will save you a spot, sweet heart, for when you change your mind..” He called down before.

“Trust me when I say, I wont!” You called out to him as he laughed and disappeared around a corner.

“Asshole..” you muttered under your breath glaring at the spot he once stood.

Everyone, except Eric, donated a blanket or pillow to your makeshift bed for the night. Tris tried to convince you to put you differences aside and share with Eric just this one time but you made it quite clear that that so wasn’t going to happen
.
You tried your best to get warm sleeping on the couch but it was pointless. It was freezing and you where miserable. You tossed and turned for about an hour before realizing that there was no way in hell you where going to fall asleep. You had stupidly stripped down to your tank top and boyshort underwear in order to get comfortable, you where now realizing how terrible an idea that had been.

You finally came to terms with the fact that the only way you where going to get sleep was if you swallowed you pride and went upstairs. After contemplating it for a few minutes you finally collected the two blankets that you where trying to get warm with and grabbed the clothes you had taken off.

Every step you took up the stairs felt like you where walking closer to your death. You had tried to wrap the thin blankets around yourself but the air still nipped your skin.

It wasn’t hard to find the bedroom Eric was in. You stood outside of the door contemplating going back down stairs but the chattering of your teeth convinced you other wise. You entered the large bedroom and looked around impressed, the king sized bed was off to the side near a large window.

Eric laid in the middle of the bed on his stomach, stretched out. The heavy blanket he was using had slipped down to about the middle of his back and you took a second to appreciate the muscles and contours of his back.

You took a few tentative steps towards the bed and scowled as you noticed that he was taking up all the space in the bed.

“Eric..” You whispered and he didn’t stir at all.

“Eric come on.” You tried again but still nothing. You reached down and snatched the pillow he had been laying on from underneath his head. Now that woke him up. He glared up at you still groggy and half asleep.

“What the fuck do you want?” He growled his voice sounding thick with sleep you shiver after hearing it but figured you could blame it on the cold.

“scooch over, I’m cold.“ You tried not to whine but you where desperate at this point. Eric was now more awake and he started smirking as he realized what you wanted. He did as you asked and moved over a little bit. You lifted the blanket and caught a glance of his body underneath the covers. You immediately dropped the comforter and looked away.

“I am not getting in the bed till you put some boxers on Eric.” You said slowly Eric, of course thought this was hilarious and looked up at you smugly.

“That’s not really my problem.” He said before putting his head down as if he was going to fall back asleep.

“Eric seriously.” You snapped.

“If your so cold then just get in the bed ____.” Was all he replied not even glancing up.

You where growing irritated and honestly half tempted to just get in the bed. Finally after a few moments of you contemplating what to do, Eric pushed himself up and got out of the bed.

You couldn’t help but sneak a glance at his ass before looking away with a slight blush on your face.

Eric turned around and looked at you waiting for a reaction. He had absolutely no shame as he stood there completely naked in front of you. You glanced over and looked him in the eye, fighting every temptation to look at the rest of his body. Even in the dim light only provided by the large windows in the room, you could see mischief in his eye and an over all smug look wiped across his face.

You finally had to break eye contact and look away because you where more than sure he saw the faint blush across your cheeks.

“Your such a princess, you know that?” He said as he look around the room for his clothes.

“Why, because i asked you to but some underwear on?” You bristled back.

While he slipped his black boxer briefs back on, you climbed under the covers enjoying the warmth of the bed. you couldn’t help but sneak one more glance at Eric while he had his back turned. Only this time before you could look away Eric turned around and caught you in the act. You where absolutely mortified as a smirk grew across his face.

“Like what you see?” He said tauntingly and you rolled your eyes at him.

“You wish, Coulter.”

He climbed in on the other side of the bed and laid about an arms length away as you laid with your back to him. Your teeth wouldn’t stop chattering, you where still freezing under all the covers.

“Can you not?” Eric snapped from next to you.

“Excuse me Eric for still being cold!” You growled back. You heard Eric shifting next to you and a few seconds later you felt him press against your body and wrap an arm around you.

“What are you doing?” You whispered-yelled as you tried to shift away.

“___ Shut up and just go to sleep.” He said sounding annoyed.

“I’m not cuddling with you Eric, so get off.” You said not quite sure how to react.

“Get over yourself, Your cold and the whole teeth chattering thing is annoying as fuck. So get warm and go the hell to sleep.” He growled in your ear. He was surprisingly warm as much as you didn’t want to admit it.

“Fuck you, Eric.” You retorted.

He snorted behind you, “Maybe another time princess.”

“You’re disgusting.” You groaned in response and that earned a snicker from him.

“You offered.” Was all he said, snickering.

Eventually you stopped shivering and your teeth stopped chattering. You where actually comfortable which was surprising to say the least. A few more minutes passed and you where convinced that Eric had fallen asleep.

“Are you warm?” You heard him whisper softly, A part of wanted to just pretend to be asleep but you knew Eric knew better.

“Yes..” You whispered back. He mumbled something you didn’t quite catch and you expected him to untangle himself from you and move away and you pretended that the thought of that didn’t make you feel slightly disappointed. But instead he stayed pressed against you. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep after that.


“You so owe me 20 when we get back, Uriah.” Snickering filled the room and that combined with the slight chill in the air stirred you from your sleep.

“Guys leave them alone.” You heard a voice you think belonged to Tris call out.

“Oh hell no, i want a picture of this.” Snickered someone who you knew with out a doubt was Zeke. More laughing filled the room and you heard the snap of a camera go off. That’s when you felt someone laying next to you stir awake.

You opened your eyes slightly and caught sight of all your friends pilled in the room you where sleeping in laughing.

The person next to you, better yet behind you was obviously awake now. You where confused at first until you heard Eric start talking behind you. The events of last night played back in your head and you felt beyond embarrassed.

“Get the fuck out!” You heard Eric yell soon followed by the sound of him throwing something, hopefully a pillow, in the direction of your friends. More laughing filled the room as everyone filed out and the sound of the camera go of again a few more times.
After everyone had exited you just kind of laid there for a second before bursting out with laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Eric gripped but you could hear the amusement in voice. You where most defiantly going to have to do some explaining.

“Nothing…What did you throw?” You asked still snickering.

“A pillow.”

“Did you hit anyone?”

“I don’t know i didn’t look.” For some reason his response earned more laughter from you and he also started chuckling.

It was only then did you notice that it was no longer just one on his arms wrapped around your waist but he also had a leg thrown over you and entangled with your own limbs. The other arm that wasn’t wrapped around you, was underneath you head like a pillow.

You where comfortable and didn’t feel like moving but you shifted in your spot and turned to face him. You where surprisingly close to him but for some reason the close proximity didn’t bother you. He had his eyes closed but you knew better than to think he had fallen back asleep.He had to adjust his position slightly when you moved but he didn’t bother moving over any so you where still pressed against him.

“What happened to the no cuddling thing?” You said smugly.

“I got comfortable.” Was all he had to say. You rolled your eyes at him ever though he couldn’t see you.

He opened his eyes and looked at you with a piercing gaze. You had a staring contest with him for a few minutes before turning away to get out of the bed. He stopped you before you could slip out and, moving surprisingly fast, he shifted and threw a leg over you, moving so that he was straddling you.

He placed his hands on either side of your head and looked down at you
.
“What are you doing?” You said feeling breathless. He bent down so that his nose was practically touching yours.

“I don’t know just go with it.” Was all he said. Before you could respond he pressed his lips to yours.

The kiss started out surprisingly sweet at first but after a little bit you both got more aggressive and It grew more passionate. He placed both hands on your waits and you began clawing your nails down his back earning a moan from him. Before it could get any more heated you heard the door to the bedroom open.

“Guys we are leaving soon, so get- oh my god.” You peaked over Eric’s shoulder to see Four standing in the door way looking anywhere but at the two of you. A blush began to take over your cheeks and given your position there was no denying what the two of you where doing.

“Just-… Were leaving in ten minutes.”  Was all he said before exiting the room.

It was Eric’s turn to laugh now. He buried his face into the side of your neck and kept laughing.

“It’s not funny!” You shouted still embarrassed.

“Yes it is..” Eric commented still chuckling.

“You know.. There’s a lot we can do in ten minutes..” He said after composing himself and moving back to kiss you.

“Oh yeah..?”

“Mmmhhhm” He kissed your collarbone waiting for a response.

“Well i guess your just going to have to show me..” You whispered back, smirking up at him.

“With pleasure.” Was all he said before returning to your lips.


An hour later everyone had made it safely onto the train and you stood by a window watching the sun rise. You felt some one walk up behind you and you didn’t have turn to know it was Eric. You felt him lean in and his lips just barely brushed the shell of your ear.

“Don’t you think for a second that your still not in a shit ton of trouble when we get back princess.” He whispered huskily.

You turned around and smirked looking up at him slightly.

“Oh i was counting on it..” You whispered biting your lip before brushing past him.

Princess… you where starting to think that you just might be able to get used to that nickname.

More you didn’t want to know.

I was tagged by a few people (@mistavybe and @harlot-k) to answer questions, but I think I answered these a few weeks ago, and I’m hesitant to bore more than I already do. Of course, I don’t recall what I wrote the first time so perhaps it will come out differently. I’ll take a cue from @delgrosso and just make some of the questions up, if that’s OK with everyone.

Nickname when someone is upset with me: INSERT FULL NAME HERE.
Pizza toppings: This question is causing me anxiety like it always does. I don’t know, just order me a fucking vegetarian (no onions, yes jalapenos) and let me steal some of the meat product you ordered for yours.
The last time I discussed my star sign: Saturday at 4:30pm.
Weight: Well, that’s fucking rude. Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m a cool 125 according to the scale I stood on three days ago.
Space/Time right then: Pink.
Last thing I fucked up: I left someone I voicemail and it went as well as one might expect when you yell “fuck” four times in 10 seconds.
Favorite writers: The Rays and Kurt, with a side of Murakami.
Last person watched: My kid.
Last dog watched: My dog.
What are you wearing now: My regret at not taking migraine meds this morning and instead thinking I could wing it. Spoiler alert: I DID NOT WING IT.
When did you create yourself: In progress.
Do you have any other selves: The nice version of me is pretty nice.
Do you get your period regularly: Yes, because at present I get to make decisions about my reproductive health.
Why did you choose to exist: Are we not men? We are Devo!
Bender: I need one.
Vonnegut book: Cat’s Cradle.
Second to last text sent: Apologies, I’m actually pretty educated.
Long legs or short legs: I have a love/hate relationships with spiders.
Favorite thing I’m looking at right now: My dog. Half these questions could have that answer, perhaps.
Average of hours of being awake: I’m so good between 1-3pm.
How many existential crises do you sleep with: Is it Thursday? Five.
Dream Job: Professional dreamer. I go into your dreams and help you get from Point A to Cheetos or whatever is happening in your Dali-party of a nightscape.
Following: You know who you are because I haunt your blog from time to time. Apologies, always.

I tag those who enjoy a good tall tale (yes, that means you).