i think this is becoming a habit

Molly was a star. Vet is very surprised with her health considering her history. She thinks her leg issues are from metabolic bone disease and not a break. Her wing is stable so no reason to treat it. Her bloodwork is normal. She’s 82 grams. Muscles are good for a flightless bird. Feather condition is great. Only things I have to watch are that she doesn’t try to lay since her pelvis is misshapen and wouldn’t pass the eggs properly. And her broken wing to watch the plucking on it that it doesn’t spread or become habit. She wasn’t happy about being toweled. Loved the vet tech. The vet was nice and handled her very gently, giving her breaks.

The Liar and His Lover Episode 3

Better, much better. Today’s episode was the set up for what’s to come: love triangle, old lover’s jealousy, shady business and the blooming of true love.

First, I had a hard time connecting with Han-kyeol in this episode on an emotional level. I’m still fussy as to why he went looking for So-rim, his reasons weren’t even that clear to him and then he went all flip-flopping with me: “I fell in love with your voice”, “I don’t like women who sing.” WHAT? I’m thinking it was more an error in editing than storyline because the rest of the episode made way more sense than that scene. I will give credit to the show for making me feel his confusion by confusing me, but I hope this doesn’t become an habit. I want him in a more solid ground regarding So-rim, I loved the scenes where he was happily talking to her and even laughing (something that shocked Chan-yeong). And I like it when he goes out of his way to meet her because I can see him letting his guard down for a little while and that brings out a lot of funny moments.

I think Han-kyeol felt an immediate connection with So-rim, even if he still doesn’t realize it, due to their shared pure love of music, but also because he can be himself around her. Oh, the irony since this show is all about how his lies affect their relationship… but what did he lie about again? He didn’t tell her he is Crude Play’s famous songwriter… and what else?

Second, So-rim showed a little more backbone today and I liked it. A lot. I much prefer her as a confident young woman, working towards her dreams than the innocent and naive love sick little girl. I appreciate the show it’s taking this in-between moment of her life as part of the storyline, and I’m guessing through her relationship with Han-kyeol and her work at the label she will be leaving the little girl behind. Take for example the scene with the almost kiss, I was all for it until the show panned to her feet and I saw her pink socks decorated with little animals. CHILDREN SOCKS. In a nanosecond I was yelling, “get away from the underage girl”, which is why I give credit to the show for not letting this happen. I’m cheering for her love but I want her to be in a more even ground with Han-kyeol, who is older and clearly more experience than her in the romance department. Although his expertise is doubtful if we are to trust what his ex has to say.

Speaking of which, I don’t know how to feel about Yoo-na either. In one hand, I understand what she’s saying and she’s right: Han-kyeol neglected their relationship, and I even wonder if he ever really liked her or just admire the singer, the voice. Still, it bugs me how she keeps throwing reproaches at him when she blatantly cheated on him with their boss. It also makes me wonder what right does she have to scoff when another woman picks up Han-kyeol’s phone. Lady, make up your mind. You clearly care for your ex and -so far- you have been decent enough to not use your past relationship as a way to get a new CD produced, so I’m giving you that but you need to get this over with.

With each episode I’m loving Crude Play more and more. Their bromance is awesome and I love their charming and easy-going leader Shi-hyun. He’s stealing scenes every time he shows up, hee! And someone at the workplace feels the same way that I do.

The scene at their man-cave was really sweet, with them supporting their friend through his break up and I want to see more of this, but at the same time I’m looking forward to figure out what’s brewing with Chan-yeong. He’s key to the story, in more than one way, and today there was a hint about Han-kyeol’s inferiority complex towards him when it comes to playing the bass, and while he seems to get along with the all the members, still I felt like Chan-yeong yearns to be part of the bromance the original members of the band have and for some reason he’s being left out.

Today we also got some answers on the inner workings of Jin-hyuk, whose views about music and the industry are pretty cynical. His conversation with Yoo-na was very telling on where he’s standing and what he is willing to do in order to get a hit. I’m not letting pass Chan-yeong’s comment on how it seems Jin-hyuk wants Han-kyeol to be in a depressed state of mind because that’s when he writes his best songs. If Chan-yeong is right, and I’m inclined to believe he is, that’s really dark and I want my characters to get the hell away from this label.

I wonder if Jin-hyuk went trough a similar experience when he was younger since he majored in piano. I’m sure he also had big dreams once and deep love for music, so why give it up and become a producer?

Another person low in my list of likable characters is Hyung-jung, who keeps on pushing to use Yoo-na’s image as a source to make money. Why doesn’t she just pimp her out and get it over with? GAH, THIS WOMAN. I also want her away from our musicians ASAP.

The only ray of light I see about So-rim signing a contract with this label is that she would have several people on her corner having her back and trying to help her navigate the music industry without having to go through the things Han-kyeol, Crude Play and Yoo-na have to deal with.

Looking forward to tomorrow’s episode to see where the story is taking us.

Originally posted by redvelvetupdates

Negative Expressions of the Signs
  • ♈ Aries: Aggressive, forceful, inconsiderate. Immature, offensive and spontaneous tantrums with no apology. Egocentric, boastful and feels entitled. The ram has an ill temper and a hard head; they believe their way is The Way.
  • ♉ Taurus: An affair with greed and sloth. Roots embedded and wrapped around the brain, suggesting unchangeable ways. Clingy of things and people, and little patience when bothered. Too proud to admit faults. The bull has their hooves dug underneath the ground, becoming immovable and unyielding for willful reasons.
  • ♊ Gemini: Contradictory, superficial, and an erratic chatterbox. The nerves are easily irritated, causing a sharp and offensive tongue and volatile emotions. Flightiness; The butterfly that flits from one thing to the next seeks connection coldly from the mind, but not warmly from the heart.
  • ♋ Cancer: Needy, teary, moody and repetitive of unhealthy habits. Cautiousness and hidden paranoia; the crab is scared and selfish, only thinking of their own safety. Conflicting emotions. "I'm so lonely" cries the crab, yet is the one who withdraws into their shell and into the internal womb, never to be seen again.
  • ♌ Leo: Emotional flares, spoiled tantrums, and dramatization of trivial events to play the role of the martyred victim. The ego is self-centered; they must be the king of their domain, to have everything their way. "Hear me roar I am the king" says the mere cub, attempting to be a lion.
  • ♍ Virgo: Magnification of the faults of others, yet doesn't see that their judgment, fault-finding and criticism towards others is merely a reflection of the flaws they see in themselves. Shrewd, easily bothered, a fickle & nervous mind, worrisome and bluntly opinionated. "Well, I think..." starts the mercurial maiden, ready to impose their unwanted opinion on another.
  • ♎ Libra: Indecisive, eager to please for personal gain, and forced pleasantness. Characteristically neutral that shows as a form of passiveness to avoid confrontation. Isn't quite sure of what they want. Superficial and dependent on the company of others to avoid loneliness. The instability of the scales reflects moodiness, irritability and inconsistency.
  • ♏ Scorpio: Actions driven by irrational and emotional impulses. Thinks highly of oneself and holds an all-or-nothing attitude. Controlling behavior, underlying paranoia, and internal anger manifesting as visible irritability and frustration. "No one understands me" says the Scorpion, who actively isolates themselves from others.
  • ♐ Sagittarius: Laziness, offensive humor and reckless behavior. Forceful of views & attacks and critically questions the views of others. Boastful, temperamental and self-centered; believes they can never be wrong. Escapism through indulgence. The Ego is inflated and judgment is poor. The centaur preaches and claims to have wisdom, yet through actions show an irresponsible fool.
  • ♑ Capricorn: Superficially concerned with status. Criticizing, selfish and cold. Takes oneself too seriously. Gloomy, worrisome, lethargic, and emit an unwelcoming presence. The saturnian seagoat sees the world as against them, as a mountain blocking their way. "I am unlucky" they sigh, when it is only their consuming pessimism and self-doubt acting as the mountain.
  • ♒ Aquarius: Detached, arrogant, unsympathetic, frigid and erratic in action. Preaches open-mindedness yet expresses opinions in a dogmatic manner. Minimizes serious situations, breaks rules that do not make sense by their flawed standards, and fights for pointless causes. "I seek belonging" says the water-bearer, who purposefully tries to not belong for the sake of individualism.
  • ♓ Pisces: Overly sensitive, teary, and a habit of lying. An open display of indulgence in one's sorrows and misfortunes that reflect a victim complex. Unreliable, lazy and avoids responsibilities through escapism. "I sacrifice so much and get nothing" weeps the fish, who must know that it is not sacrifice if there is reward.

‘Retrograde’ is Latin for backward step, and I don’t think they necessarily attributed this to a negative experience, it’s just a different experience of the planet’s qualities, and we need these so we can re evaluate current circumstances.. as Albert Einstein says, ‘No problem can be solved on the same level of consciousness that created it’
Mercury rx feels like the author in my head keeps backspacing so it’s hard to figure out how to say what I was thinking before it vanished
Mars rx seems to bring old things back… old flames, old disputes, anger becomes misplaced
Venus rx also brings back old relationships, but I believe its so we can truly move on, nothing that comes back will be better
Saturn rx we can get on top of bad habits, self discipline is increased, it can also bring obstruction with work
Jupiter rx is delightful… its tremendous  for meditation, the inner world is rich and it’s like a trilogy.. we may also re consider belief systems
Pluto rx .. the headphones of the soul are turned up… now is the time to realign yourself with your destiny… you will be more satisfied.. Pluto is instructing you on what this is…I think we physically resonate with Mercury and Mars and feel them when they retrograde because we use these for daily executive functioning

Retrograde = Re
Re configure
Re evaluate
Re write
Reflect
Re consider

-C.

My tips for workout motivation!

So, you want to work out. But, oh no! You’re feeling a little unmotivated? You don’t know where to start? It isn’t always helpful to hear “just do it,” even if it’s a little bit true. There are times where we all feel unmotivated and that’s why we need to be dedicated, let out a deep sigh, and just do it.

It’s more mental than physical. Now, I know what you’re thinking. I know exactly what you’re thinking.

“–Crap.”

How do we become dedicated? It can take weeks to months for a habit to solidify so how do we break down a few of these mental barriers to even get there in the first place?

You don’t need a gym: A lot of people get stuck on “where” before “how” and there are a number of reasons why a gym membership is actually an inconvenience or out of budget for many individuals. There are also people who find the gym absolutely boring. That’s fine! Our bodies already come equipped with cardiovascular machinery and can be used as a resistance tool. Our own homes, parks, and backyards are perfect places to workout and with the addition of a few small, affordable tools you can even up to ante without ever setting foot inside a gym.

Small steps before big leaps: If you’ve never worked out before or simply need to get more active in general; then don’t worry too much with whipping your ass into a protoplasmic pile of goo quite yet. We’re all beginners at some point in time, and you need to let yourself be a beginner. The risk of injury is high for a beginner and that’s the biggest mood killer of them all. Don’t pop in a “Maximum Hardcore Power Shred 9000X²” DVD and expect to come out of that experience with a positive outlook on the days and weeks to come. You probably have some idea of where your fitness level is at, so be generous and be forgiving. For some people, fitness starts simply at taking more stairs and walking longer distances around town and that’s absolutely great.

Write out a plan for the day: At night, I often write in my phone’s little “sticky note” application what I want to do at the gym tomorrow morning and what weight, sets, and reps I may want to attempt them at. Not only will it help you zone in and focus on the task, but you’ll be thinking about your workout in advance as well. Having a plan will reduce the number of “unknown variables” so you can just get started and stop second guessing yourself, a life-saver for the anxious. 

Set out your workout clothes and supplies the night before: No matter when you’re planning to workout, just be ready well in advance. Don’t get stuck in a situation where you’re frantically trying to slap things together, getting stressed out, and only to discover your shorts are dirty and your water bottle has mysteriously been stolen by gremlins.

Try a different time of day if you’re stumbling with your current one: This one is dependant a lot on personality and the mercy of your schedule and home life. Understandably, some people have less flexibility so it’s not always possible to switch time slots around. This was personally my biggest game changer, though. I used to workout in the evening but by the end of a day my “introvert battery” was clocked and more times than not I said, “it’s blanket time.” Morning is my favorite time of day and I’m fresh when I wake up, so I started going in the morning. It sounds obvious but it honestly was the best thing I ever did.

Find an exercise that genuinely excites you: The best workout is one that is fun for you to do, not the one that burns the most calories. Don’t waste too much time on running if you’d rather have your toenails ripped out with a pair of rusty pliers. There are a million ways to get a workout, so shop around!

Switch it up and be open to trying something new: Having a game plan in place certainly is a pillar of success, but a good dose of spontaneity can give you that twinge of excitement you’re looking for and even introduce you to new workouts you never guessed you’d like. Personally, I’d love to try a Zumba class sometime!

Try a podcast or audiobook instead of music: Only continue your playthrough a little before a workout, while working out, and a little after a workout. If you’re getting somewhere juicy, guess what? Gotta workout.

Do something if you’re not up for everything: Making a good habit and becoming dedicated isn’t about having all cylinders firing at max 24/7. That is the key difference between motivation and dedication. If you don’t feel like challenging your personal records today, that’s fine. Pick a comfortable intensity, pick a nice small chunk of time. Also, going for a walk is an absolutely marvelous workout. It counts. It all counts.  Feeling like a shut in today? Keep a jump rope and a yoga mat around. Build a list of Youtube videos you could do on that rainy day. Get some bodyweight routines in or jog in place a little. If you’re sore, just stretch. Doing a little bit of anything will uphold your habit and your dedication. Some days we achieve, other days we survive. 

Sometimes rest days are announced, not planned: If you’ve been getting into the swing of things but wake up feeling sick, exhausted, or have unexplained pain take the rest if you really think you need it. You’re not “skipping the gym,” if you seriously need the rest. Try as we might to have a super tight plan, sometimes we have unexpected issues. Rest is also necessary.

@unfcking Ask and you shall receive! I hope you find something helpful here.

When I look back at images of myself from around November 2014, before the final tour, I can see how ill I was.
  
Something I’ve never talked about in public before, but which I have come to terms with since leaving the band, is that I was suffering from an eating disorder.
   
It wasn’t as though I had any concerns about my weight or anything like that, I’d just go for days – sometimes two or three days straight – without eating anything at all.
  
It got quite serious, although at the time I didn’t recognise it for what it was. I think it was about control. I didn’t feel like I had control over anything else in my life, but food was something I could control, so I did. I had lost so much weight I had become ill.
  
The workload and the pace of life on the road put together with the pressures and strains of everything going on within the band had badly affected my eating habits.
—  Excerpt from Zayn’s book.

It’s been really bothering me that, a few weeks ago I saw someone saying, “Saeyoung/707 isn’t some meme lord little shit and people need to stop portraying him as such” and I just-

I don’t know if I can properly explain this but, I think that 707 is part of who Saeyoung is for multiple reasons. Maybe it started out as a persona, but it never once crossed my mind that it isn’t part of him.

See, I understand (to an extent) what Saeyoung’s gone through in his life. But I also know that, sometimes, you want to become a certain way, do or say certain things more, and so you change your behavior. And eventually, it becomes habit. And eventually, that habit becomes who you are, or at least a part of you.

Also, some of the most depressed, anxious people are the brightest. You’ve probably heard that before, but it’s true. We try to laugh away our pain and make others laugh with us.

Saeyoung probably created 707 because it was someone he wanted to be - carefree, fun-loving, and a bit crazy.

But he still cracks jokes and is a little over enthusiastic (and close to blackmailing people for fun) at the end of the secret ending.

So no, maybe he’s not the meme-lord, but the 707 persona didn’t come out of nowhere. He pulled it out of himself and let that part sit on the surface, allowing it to grow.

He still loves memes, jokes, and pranks, but he’s not carefree. He can be very serious when he wants. And he cares deeply for all around him.

Divided We Fall

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Request: I was thinking maybe the reader is Tony’s daughter and her and Bucky have a thing going and then Civil War takes place and the reader is laying there after getting the living Christ beaten out of her by Steve and she watches as Tony gets double teamed by Cap and Bucky and she uses all of her strength to get up and intervene and persuade Bucky to stop

A/N: YES, TWO IMAGINES IN A DAY. Do not expect this to become a habit… So I decided to write part one about how Bucky and the reader (along with the others) feel about this situation and how it affects them. I also tried to bring up some emotions. I just wanted some kind of a backstory and not jump right into the part about Tony and the reader fighting Steve and Bucky. Now, I haven’t even started to write the second part so if you want to know when it’s posted, tell me so I can add you to the tag list for this imagine! (It might take a lot of time) Hopefully you’ll like this one… It does get sad, though. I may have gone a little too dramatic but… oh well

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Words: 4,174

Warning(s): ANGST, mentions of sex, some making out


Keep reading

‘Retrograde’ is Latin for backward step, and I don’t think they necessarily attributed this to a negative experience, it’s just a different experience of the planet’s qualities, and we need these so we can re evaluate current circumstances.. as Albert Einstein says, ‘No problem can be solved on the same level of consciousness that created it’
Mercury rx feels like the author in my head keeps backspacing so it’s hard to figure out how to say what I was thinking before it vanished
Mars rx seems to bring old things back… old flames, old disputes, anger becomes misplaced
Venus rx also brings back old relationships, but I believe its so we can truly move on, nothing that comes back will be better
Saturn rx we can get on top of bad habits, self discipline is increased, it can also bring obstruction with work
Jupiter rx is delightful… its tremendous  for meditation, the inner world is rich and it’s like a trilogy.. we may also re consider belief systems
Pluto rx .. the headphones of the soul are turned up… now is the time to realign yourself with your destiny… you will be more satisfied.. Pluto is instructing you on what this is…I think we physically resonate with Mercury and Mars and feel them when they retrograde because we use these for daily executive functioning

Retrograde = Re
Re configure
Re evaluate
Re write
Reflect
Re consider

-C.

Our story 
has no ending 
we’ll always
have chapters 
spanning over
the course of our life time
I don’t know
how to stop loving you
I still think about you
in passing
it’s become a habit
I wonder if you’re happy
I wonder if I did the right thing
when I let you go
—  you’re the open window, I never had the heart to close // A.H. 

A transformation of consciousness will definitely change your life. But I mean transformation of consciousness, I do not mean changing your mood for a while. We all feel good for a time and then come back to our “natural” state. 
By transformation I mean thinking differently, positively about yourself so often that it becomes a habit. And until the habit grows stable. At this point it will expel from your mind all the rival states such as poverty thinking. This new state really will create a new world. It spells out a transformation, but if you only do it a little bit and return to your former state, then you’ll notice things changed for a while but nothing radical took place. If you have changed inwardly, truly, then you will see change in your outer world. 

Keep in mind the most wonderful tool alive is to sit alone at home and construct a sentence that implies you’ve fulfilled your desire. Repeating it to yourself, seeing yourself with it, you shall draw to yourself every person and situation on Earth to fulfill it. 

*This was my summary of Three Propositions by Neville Goddard*

I know it’s been a long time that I wrote something and I have become this person who doesn’t think at all. I am emotionally drained right now. Numb is a feeling and I don’t even feel that. I have crossed the stage of depression without succumbing to it and now there is only empty stares in the mirror. I thought I had realised that I should love myself and not care about other’s recognition of my habits but I am wrong. My thoughts are constantly revolving around the fact that no one is actually around and everybody I had is now a distant blur.

I have lost my best friend during a period of struggle and I know I have hurt him very much. I know there is no going back but a lot of people have made it such a way that I was the reason that everything went downhill from the first and the worst part is that he feels the same. That is something I never expected he would believe. But I guess if a person is hurt too much, they don’t clearly see.

There is a lot of fault in my actions and I can never undo them but all my thoughts were all over the place. Even though there was a huge scatter of elements, there was no malicious intent or any intent to hurt anybody. The devil had other plans and here I am with nothing but several series I have already watched and a room empty like my thoughts.

I never feared being vulnerable but now I am scared to even tell my best friends that. Yes, there are a lot of people who stayed with me through the storm and genuinely wants to be with me. I am trying to concentrate on that but it is being a tiring process.

I am not vocal about my problems in social media. This is the first time and probably the last. I make sure that most of my posts are about other’s feelings than mine.

I apologise here for not posting like I used to because right now I have literally nothing to post. That’s the salt in the wound. All the insults, words, threats, pain, hurt, losses are weighing me down and I am wallowing in self hatred.

I will see you guys once I am okay to get back up because I can and I will.

New year is yet to come and I hope mine comes too because hope is all I have.

—  The paradoxical woman
It’s a tough thing to let go of all your control habits, especially when it comes to love. Love will drive you like you’re in a car doing 90 on the biggest interstate and before you know it, you’re doing 360’s across all lanes. I’ve loved a lot, but never like her. And in the midst of the 360 turns all I could think was “is this ever going to end?” You become overwhelmed and a million thoughts race through your head.. “How did this happen? When will it stop? Will I make it out alive? I hope she knows I never stopped loving her.” And as your thoughts start to race you’re smacked with the impact of the 90 mph vehicle hitting the rail guard like it was your hearts way of screaming to hold your shit together. You’ve been through a lot worse, and though you rest yourself easy, you can’t seem to grasp how at ease you feel with the pain of being broken-hearted. But that’s just it, life may never make sense, but you’ll always find you’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re much stronger than the impact of any heavy weighted vehicle merging itself into a solid mark of steel. You’re stronger than your hearts break, or the unrequited love that’s being carried so heavily on your chest. You’re stronger than it all. And although you love her, and continuously will, you learn to love from a distance. You learn to love in a way that keeps you from spinning but instead drives you straight ahead.
—  I haven’t stopped loving you, I’m just being careful not to crash.

Fortuna Major by @olivieblake.


“Do you think this was fate?” she asked. “Can we really keep belittling the whole soulmate prediction now that all of this has happened?”

“We can do whatever we want, Granger,” Draco said lazily, tracing patterns on her shoulder. “For as long as you want to.”

She closed her eyes, smiling against his skin.


【this au has ruined me; i’m helpless! im actually feeling silly because, yet again, this hasn’t ended up being what i had intended. this doesn’t even look that good. and impatiently saving it before it reaches perfection, is becoming a habit.

but. i love you, dear author. ❤】

Newt Scamander is asexual

•It’s both that he didn’t know what sex is. he’s aware of sexual attraction because he works with animals and knows all there mating habits and he knows how it works between humans. but has no interest himself .

•I thinks that’s why he takes refuge around animals . Because there there not interested in him like that and he can just be himself. And he’s comfterble there.

•But with the humans. sexual things are everywhere posters and fashion and he always has to consider how he’s actions so he’s not leading people on. Not that he finds lots people who like him at all let alone like that. He jest becomes really aware that it could happen.

• he would be really oblivious so people would flirt with him and it would go right over his head.

•if he dose realise someone’s coming on to him he gets all flustered coz he didn’t know how to act or were to put his hands. Or how to get out of doing ‘that without hurting there feelings . Become he didn’t want to upset them.

•Not that he’s agains dating. Boy or girl he didn’t mind. He’s not very good with people and dating but if people are willing to try with him he’ll give it a good go.

•Like at the end of fantastic beasts when he offers to come back to give Tina his book himself . he’s not doing it with the idea of dating. He’s just so happy he’s met someone who is interested in him and doesn’t shoot him down at every turn . he’s grown to quite like her.

•He’d love to share his world with someone who wants him there and loves him . he’s happy with just kisses and cuddles. Like cute couple things .

•And wen partners he’d had in the past have brought up sex he always feels inadequate like there asking more of him then he can give. And the relationships dies soon after. Because newt becomes so self conscious and he shuts off completely.

•Sometimes he dose get lonely but his animals are always happy to curl up with him and listen to him babble on about different things