i think they had a little too much fun doing this

Ranger Mind Link Headcanons

-the rangers first found out about the mind link as a motivation tactic from alpha. (”The harder you train, the more connected you are! I mean, don’t you WANT to be able to read each others minds?” “Wait, what?!”)

  •  alpha explains the basics of the link, that they don’t exactly know the extent of the power seeing as human brains work differently, but essentially they can feel each others emotions 

-trini is the first to connect through the link (seeing as she clears her mind while doing yoga), and the other rangers get a loud and clear message of death metal

  • zack is sitting on his train car watching her, when the music suddenly gets way too loud and he screams for her to lower it
  • billy is working tinkering on some kind of gadget when the music starts blaring causing him to snap his screwdriver in half
  • jason is asleep in his bed when he shoots up in shock, punching a hole in the wall
  • and kim is in her room holding her phone trying to decide how to ask trini out for donuts in the least platonic way possible, and due to her thoughts focusing on trini she hears it the loudest of all of them
  • which is why it makes sense every ranger suddenly hears “What is wrong with her?” in a voice oddly like kims

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Unpopular Voltron opinion, with meta to back it up.

I don’t think the big Keith and Lance scene in episode 6 was meant to be seen as having gone well, or for things to be getting back on track in regards to Lance’s doubts. I’m actually pretty sure the conversation unintentionally made things with Lance even worse.

Just because Keith and Lance shared a scene alone together, without any fighting or outward disagreements, does NOT mean it went well. I know everyone who is a Klance shipper wants that to be the case, but the whole “5 feet apart” jokes and logic with their ship shouldn’t suddenly change the emotional tone that is ACTUALLY present here.

Do not get me wrong, it is clear that both of them wanted this talk to go well without any confrontation, and to talk with a level head and with honesty. They have both grown as people to realize this. It doesn’t mean there wasn’t a major miscommunication here. 

Lets go through this moment by moment, shall we?

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anonymous asked:

Can you please do BTS as dads?

(this is based on their sun signs)

Jin 

  • the fun dad
  • looks like he hasn’t aged since he was 20
  • probably the least strict
  • because sagittariuses value freedom and independence 
  • they want their children to be their own people
  • super chill
  • doesn’t believe in strict punishment
  • cooks better than their mom
  • loves adventures
  • takes his kids camping, to amusement parks, anywhere they want
  • d a d j o k e s
  • always bright and sunny and cheers them up his humor
  • or makes them cringe
  • “dad im hungry” “hi hungry im dad”
  • [windshield wiper laugh]
  • instills strong morals and values in his kids

Originally posted by yoongiski

Yoongi

  • the affectionate dad
  • pisces are very compassionate, patient, and understanding
  • so he’d be able to handle kids and their moodiness really well
  • the person they always go to for comfort and advice
  • loves spending time with his kids
  • always makes them feel loved and appreciated
  • encourages their creativity
  • shares his love of music with them
  • “kiddos u know back in the day i was kinda a big deal. they called me suga”
  • “dad we literally live right next door to the bangtan uncles”
  • makes his kids hold each other’s hands when they start arguing
  • cries on the first day of kindergarten
  • the type to take pics and make scrapbooks and record videos to keep memories
  • and cry proud-father-tears when rewatching them

Originally posted by shootingfingerhearts

Hoseok 

  • the cool dad
  • another one that’s not strict
  • encourages his kids to be unique and individual
  • wants them to have a high self esteem and not follow the crowd
  • would raise really artsy kids who have a unique fashion sense
  • lowkey would be fine with them breaking some rules
  • high fives them when they stand up to mean teachers or bullies
  • pranks his kids
  • acts more like their friend 
  • so so supportive
  • shows up to every sports game or performance and screams louder than all other parents

Originally posted by btsreactionsandgifs

Namjoon

  • the overprotective dad
  • his little ones would probably inherit his god of destruction gene
  • so you’d come home one day and he’s wrapping them in bubble wrap
  • puts all his energy into raising his kids
  • lowkey strict
  • but only because he wants to see them shine 
  • the house runs so well
  • they go to bed at exactly the same time every day
  • sets a curfew
  • has those “my child is an honor roll student” stickers on his car
  • brags to other parents about how gifted they are
  • embarrasses them in public
  • his kids look up to him a lot

Originally posted by yayaruizc

Jimin 

  • the hot dad
  • teachers flirt with him during pta meetings
  • impresses their classmates by picking them up in his nice car
  • all his daughter’s friends have a crush on him
  • his kids will be super popular 
  • always fair
  • can defuse fights between them like a pro
  • creates a calm, peaceful, and beautiful home
  • his kids are always the best dressed
  • has a really good relationship with their mom and takes her out on dates every weekend
  • a good listener
  • is like their friend and has a really tight bond with them

Originally posted by jiminboi

Taehyung 

  • the rich dad
  • his family will live in the nicest biggest house
  • works hard to make sure they’re financially secure
  • always away on some business trip
  • but comes home with so many gifts
  • puts his kids in the best private school
  • spoils them
  • but still keeps them down to earth
  • his kids have good manners from a young age
  • teaches them the importance of hard work and discipline
  • old fashioned
  • the type to say “i’m your father, listen to me” all the time
  • loves taking his family on fun extravagant vacations every summer
  • super proud of every little thing his kids accomplish
  • keeps pictures of them in his (gucci) wallet

Originally posted by jinmini

Jungkook

  • the organized dad
  • has his shit together
  • super reliable and dependable
  • keeps everything neat and tidy
  • helps the mom with cooking and chores
  • color coordinates and name tags all their toys and clothes
  • makes them cute lunch boxes with supportive messages every day
  • sings them to sleep
  • tries to be strict but fails
  • “son it’s time to study please get off the computer. wait…is that overwatch? ….okay one more round if i can join”
  • a bit of a worry wart
  • always thinking about their well being and safety
  • when they get sick he flips out
  • “y/n according to webmd they’re dying. i’ve failed as a father. this is it.”
  • “jungkook pls calm down it’s just a cold”
  • puts his little ones in sports or dancing and takes them to practice
  • supports the heck out of them

Originally posted by jiminboi

10 Baby Facts for SPN Fic Authors

[I swear this is not a rant - it ISN’T. Honest.]

It is actually kind of cool to realize that you possess specialty knowledge that may be of use to others. Stuff that you didn’t really KNOW you knew, until, of course, you are reading along in a fic and something the author describes (or the character says) brings your brain to a screeching halt. “That’s not right – it can’t possibly happen that way…” And then you go and do actual research to back up your gut knowledge. This little FAQ is the result of one such realization.

My dad fixed antique and classic cars for a living from 1964 – 1978, owning his own showroom for 3 years near the end of that time. Born in 1966, I grew up playing in old cars, hiding in floorboards and exploring them to my heart’s content. Our family car for several years was a 1966 Thunderbird, but when dad went to car shows, we rode in whatever he wanted to show off. I’ve been in rumble seats, hard top convertibles, cars with windshields that laid down flat, and cars with no roof, doors, or walls of any kind. My 1st car was a fully restored 1966 mustang. Without really realizing it, I soaked up a LOT of inherent understandings about older cars. The information below is based in that knowledge, backed up with some internet research.

The following is true about Baby (the character in SPN, not necessarily the actual cars that play her): 

1) Compared to most modern sedans, Baby is BIG. Like REALLY BIG. She is 17 and ¾ feet long (5.4 meters) and 7 feet 8 inches wide (2.03 meters). Allowing for door thickness on either side and the gaps between doors and bench seat, I’m betting the front seat is a little over 5 feet wide. Given basic geometry and human skeletal limitations, this means it is not possible for the passenger to have their head resting against the passenger door/window AND place their hand on the driver’s thigh. If the passenger is in this position, the driver can,  at best, entwine fingers with the passenger’s outstretched hand. That’s IT (even with Sam’s monkey arms). Sitting up straight, yes. Slumped over, no. On the plus side, this is why the guys can, in fact, get some sleep in her (and have fun in the back seat).

2) Despite how big Baby is, she is kinda short. Baby is only 54 inches high (4’6” or 138 cm). INSIDE the car, she is slightly less than 4 feet tall total. This means that the following actions WILL make you bump your head (or butt or hands or feet) on the ceiling unless you are very very slow and careful: climbing over the back seat, straddling someone’s lap, taking off your pants or t-shirt (unless nearly lying down in the seat), and lunging across the front bench seat to attack someone bodily. And you will look graceless doing it. [Ahem, trust me on these, I KNOW.] Additional negative modifiers for Sam due to height.

More below the cut.

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How I Got Straight A’s in My First Year of University

I was so proud of myself when I received firsts (that’s A’s for those not attending uni in the UK) on all of my assessments in my first year at university. Here are some tips for y’all to try at any point in university. They may be specific at times to my experience—my degree is in the social sciences and humanities, and I’m studying in the UK—but I did try to make them more generally applicable, and hopefully they should be helpful to someone out there.

Part One: Everyday Study Routine

  1. Before the start of the academic year, try to get in a little bit of preparation. See if there are any syllabi or reading lists posted online. You don’t have to pour over them, of course, but do attempt to do something, and have a basic grasp on what will be covered in your classes.
  2. Go to all your lectures and seminars. Unless you absolutely have to miss class because you are ill or have an important obligation to take care of, it’s really important to attend your lectures every day. (Note: if you are struggling with mental or chronic illness or a disability, don’t beat yourself up if you keep missing class. Please take care of yourself.) You may be tempted to just look at the PowerPoint presentation online, but it’s much more effective to be there in person. Often the lecturer may include information or extra explanations which are not included in the presentation. It will also allow you to process the information aurally as well as visually, and you will have the added benefit of taking notes too. You may also be able to ask questions.
  3. Do all the pre-reading for lectures. I know it’s tempting to put it off, but try to work it into your daily routine (because you will have reading to do every day). Inevitably, there will be times where you slip up and don’t have time to finish. If this happens, make sure you catch up on it at some point, because it’s very important to solidifying the concepts you are learning about. Also, the more you read in general, the better you will become at reading (and also writing).
  4. Take diligent notes (for both your lectures and pre-reading), and keep them organized. I prefer to handwrite in a notebook, as it helps me synthesize information rather than just typing it out verbatim—but it is totally up to you. If you do use a notebook, make a table of contents on the first page, where you write the date, topic, class, and page numbers of each set of notes you take. I think it’s a great idea to include your own thoughts and opinions in notes, or linking concepts you are learning to concepts you already know about.
  5. If you have the time, make sure to be reading books/essays/articles and engaging with ideas outside of your regular syllabus. This is one of the most important techniques (in my experience, at least) when it comes to writing essays and answering exam questions. Evidence of wider reading around a topic is a great way to boost the credibility of your argument. It also does wonders to solidify and broaden your conceptualization of certain ideas you may have covered in your classes.
  6. Where possible, try to contribute (as much as you feel comfortable) in seminars. If you are very quiet and reserved, that is totally okay too. I’m with you. But it has helped me tremendously in the past year to push myself to speak up more often in seminars. Talking in seminars allows you to clarify concepts and engage more deeply with the material being discussed (and it might impress your seminar tutor too, though this is secondary to the learning in my opinion).
  7. If you have some nerdy-ass friends, talk with them about your ideas and what you’re both learning in your courses. I can’t tell you the number of essays I’ve written which actually have blossomed out of conversations I’ve had with friends, where they’ve exposed me to topics I’d never heard of before or broadened my view of a concept. Learning from each other in a casual and fun setting is amazing!

Part Two: Assessment Time

  1. When you are given notice about big assignments coming up, such as essays or group projects, try to start working on them ASAP. Trust me, I know how hard it is. This is coming from someone who has dealt for years with chronic procrastination issues and nearly didn’t graduate from high school because of it. But you must start planning as soon as you possibly can, because the due date will come screaming up and before you know it, it’ll be the night before the deadline and you won’t have a clue what you’re writing about. Work it into your daily schedule if you have to. One great tip is to write down the deadline as being earlier (say, a week earlier) than what it actually is. This will prompt you to start earlier than you normally would have.
  2. Do a shitload of reading, widely, from multiple sources. Read everything you can on the topic you are doing your assignment on. For a basic literature review, this means looking through at least 20+ sources. That doesn’t mean carefully perusing each one front to back; it means looking through all the relevant literature to find a few great sources which will really give you a coherent argument and a big picture of the topic at hand.
  3. Keep your sources organized. I use Paperpile, which is a Chrome extension that allows you to save and organize academic sources. I make a folder for each assessment I am working on, and anything I find relevant to my topic, I save it to the folder. This will be a life saver for you when you actually go to plan your paper and also do the referencing.
  4. Content is important, but perhaps even more important is your argument and structure. This mostly applies to essays, but you can apply it to other types of assessments too. Try not to structure your argument in terms of blocks of content—e.g. Paragraph 1 is about Topic A, Paragraph 2 is about Topic B—but rather in terms of how you are laying out your argument. Make sure each part of your essay flows into the next, so that you are, for example, setting up a kind of dialogue or narrative between the different sources you’re using. Also ensure that any point you are making clearly relates back to your main thesis.
  5. If you’re a perfectionist like me: train yourself to remember that there is no such thing as perfect. Try to imagine what the perfect essay would be like. Can you imagine it? It’s probably pretty difficult, right? That’s because there is no such thing as a perfect assignment. Remind yourself of this, constantly. Tell yourself that you will be okay with just doing your very best. If you think about it logically: handing in something that is perhaps not your best ever, but handing it in on time and doing pretty well, is infinitely better than attempting to have a “perfect” essay but handing it in late and failing the assignment.

I hope this helped some of you! Best of luck and happy studying this year—go knock ‘em out! xo

During his move to Washington, DC, Stiles made a number of realizations about life, the most prominent of which was that it was amazing what kind of hobbies a guy could pick up when his days weren’t packed full of running for his life from various supernatural horrors. Like trivia nights, for example. Stiles had a regular team and the entire bar groaned when they walked in because they knew they were about to get creamed.

Or the tabletop gaming club he joined, where everyone was just as competitive as he was, and punches had been thrown on more than one occasion.

Or like, Stiles jogged now.

Through the National Mall.

Like Captain America or some shit.

And with these hobbies came a sort of routine, and though most were on hold during the summer when his trivia team and gaming rivals were back home, the running stuck. It was calming and got his mind off things, gave him a chance to think about any papers he had to write, or de-stress about his FBI internship when it got a little hectic.

It was a good routine.

So every Saturday morning, Stiles got up a little earlier so he could get in his longer route, and left his dorm for his jog through the National Mall. On Saturdays, he took the path that went through the war memorials, down into West Potomac Park, and over to the Jefferson Memorial. It was his favorite place to take a breather because that early in the morning, there were rarely any tourists, and other joggers left him alone. It was nice and private, with a great view of the city across the water.

Stiles leaned back against the front steps and glanced around him casually, making sure there was no one too close before pulling out his little burner flip phone.

He had an old school drug dealer flip phone. His dad would be so proud.

There was only one number the phone ever called, so there was no need to save it under a name.

He waited for a few minutes, biding his time until the clock hit 7:15am, and then he called that number.

On the third ring, Derek picked up.

“Morning, sunshine!” Stiles greeted, already wide awake from his jog. Derek grunted back. He must’ve had a late night at the bar. “Any leads?”

Derek yawned loudly. “Still no werewolves with triskele tattoos, still wanted for murder.”

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My Dearest Harry,

 

Happy Birthday!!!! I’ve set an alarm for 8:30, and if you haven’t fire-called me by then I’m side alonging Rose over to scold you. Today took some serious planning, dear, and that boyfriend of yours will never forgive me if you show up late. Wear that green top- it brings out your eyes!

 

With love,

 

Hermione Granger-Weasley

 

 

Potter-

 

If you are late this afternoon I will fillet you alive.

 

Birthday Wishes.

 

-Draco (I love you. Wear the green top.)

 

 

Harry,

 

Happy 37th, Mate!!! Do us all a favor and get your old arse out of bed before 2, would you? ‘Mione and Draco have been working together, and you know how they get going. She’s in a right fuss, that one. I had to talk her out of sending you a howler this morning, and that was only by… Distracting her, so to speak. As I’m human and understand human emotions, needs, etc., (unlike our crazy robotic lovers), I’ve sent over a coffee and some chocolate frogs to make the ungodly time a little more bearable.

 

Cheers!

 

Ron

 

P.S. Hermione told me to tell you to wear the green top? I don’t give a flying fuck what you wear as long as you and Malfoy manage to keep the clothes firmly on this time.

 

 

Harry,

 

I had to hold mum down, she wanted to bring you breakfast in bed this morning. As much as she loves you, I’m not sure how she would have felt if she walked in on you having a lovely birthday shag with Malfoy against the coffee table. You’re welcome. See you tonight. And, for Merlin’s sake, try to be on time. In the green shirt, or Malfoy will send you straight back. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

-Ginny P.s. Luna sends her regards and also asked me to tell you that green wards off the hucklefins.

 

 

Harry,

 

I had the strangest dream last night, Harry. I was being chased by a group of wrackspurts, all of them demanding I return their ‘treasure’. I was quite confused by their insistence that I had taken this ‘treasure’ (you know how I feel about stealing, it affects my aura), and I kept spraying lilac essence to ward them off, but to no avail. I asked Ginny if she thought it meant something, but she thinks I may have just had too much to drink last night. What do you think?

 

Oh yes dear, I almost forgot! Happy Birthday! I do hope you know to be on time, but I’ll try to distract him if you run late. I read last night about some very new potions research that could keep him talking for at least an hour.

 

Love you, dear.

 

Luna (Wear green.)

 

 

The boy who continues to live,

 

I’d say congratulations, but you’ve been complimented so many times for merely staying alive that it feels tacky at this point. Draco’s got himself all in knots over tonight’s events, and as much fun as it’s been watching him all flustered, I know that if you manage to screw this up I’ll be the one supplying his alcohol, so I feel I must warn you; If you wish to continue to be the boy who lived, show up on time, and properly dressed, if you can manage. Although, come to think of it, “The boy who fucked up one too many goddamn times” has a ring to it.

 

-Pansy Parkinson

 

 

Harry,

 

You have always been a son to me, dear. I know it goes without saying, but if I learned anything from the war, it’s that telling people what they mean to you is a privilege, and something we should do as often as we can. So, and I don’t mean to be sappy love, I know you have big plans for tonight, but I simply have to tell you how proud I am of the man you have become. Happy Birthday, dear. (I’ve sent over some breakfast, though Ginny suggested maybe I shouldn’t have. Terribly sorry if I’ve interrupted anything. Draco’s favorites are in there too, just in case.)

 

-Molly

 

 

Harry!

 

Happy Birthday, you geezer. The Amazon is great, as promised, if a little hot for my taste. I’m sorry to be missing your evening tonight- there truly isn’t anything for it. They want me back at the University this Thursday, and I’ve got very little besides a sunburn to show for my time out here. Personally, I think they’ve been a little outrageous with the timing; researching Amazonian werewolf roots and ancient cures isn’t exactly a picnic, you know.

 

Enough complaining. How’ve you been? How’s Draco? Have you finally bucked up and popped the question? I assume not; someone would have owled, I’m sure. You really ought to do it soon, Harry. If you don’t, he will, and you know how terribly dramatic he is. Just think on it. Send my love to Grandma, would you? I miss her terribly. Oh, and you can have some too, of course.

 

-Teddy Lupin

 

 

Uncle Harry,

 

I know you aren’t awake yet. You are never awake before noon. Which is why, in approximately 28 minutes, if you don’t firecall mum (which you won’t) to tell her you’re getting ready, (which you aren’t), I’m coming over there myself to talk some sense into you.

 

You do realize how important today is? Happy Birthday. I’ll see you in precisely 27 minutes.

 

-Rose Granger-Weasley Future Minister for Magic

 

 

Uncle Harry,

 

Please be awake when Rose gets to your place, she’s in a scary mood this morning. Happy Birthday, and best of luck, because Mum isn’t much better by the looks of it.

 

-Hugo

 

 

Harry

 

Happy Birthday. I know you are prone to sleeping in, but Draco has been particularly high-strung about this evening and I would really encourage your punctuality this once. I will, unfortunately, be quite busy this evening, but I look forward to seeing you soon. Tea at the manor Wednesday, perhaps? Talk to Draco and get back to me. Oh, and you do look so ever lovely in green. Regards,

 

Narcissa Malfoy
—  Birthday Letters

Because I still haven’t got over how shitty Amanda’s “friends” were treating her so:

Emma R’s the one that’s been coercing everyone else to avoid and exclude Amanda because she knew that Noah actually used to have a crush on Amanda, and Emma R felt threatened, so she’d told Noah that Amanda thought he was a creep and instead convinced him to go out with her instead.

So after Amanda has that big argument with Emma R-

(”Well if you think I’m so terrible then just stop being my friend!”

“okay!”)

-she just completely stops talking to them, and Emma R. starts feeling kinda guilty, because this is her best friend after all, and they’ve known each other since they were 7, and she kinda misses her.

So one day, she’s sitting at their usual lunch table with the rest of their friends, and she’s waiting for Amanda to come in so she can apologize.

But then.

The cafeteria door opens, and in walks the school badboy, Lucien Bloodmarch, and the rest of his clique.

And he’s got an arm around Amanda’s shoulder, and she’s laughing at something he must’ve said, and she’s joking around with the others in the group, and they’re all looking at her as if she were the sun, and she fits in so well with them, like a missing piece of their puzzle.

And Emma R feels an unexpected spike of jealousy. Because that’s her best friend.

She’s so caught up in her own thoughts that she almost doesn’t hear Noah’s snide comment to Amanda as she and Lucien walk by with the rest of her group.

“Never would’ve thought badboys were your type, Amanda.”

And the group of 5 just stops short.

Amanda is confused and has no idea what Noah is talking about.

Lucien understands, but doesn’t bother to correct the guy despite how horrendously wrong he is.

(Ever since their fathers had started dating, he and Amanda had started spending more time together, and they ended up bonding over their shared rebellious streaks, problems with authority, and utter adoration of their dads.

She’s like the cool older sister he’d never wanted. He couldn’t see her in a romantic light if he wanted to.

And not to mention he’s gay.)

Lucien just smirks down at Noah.

“What, like it’s any of your business who she dates?”

Noah bristles at that, and looks like he’s about to start a fight right then and there.

But Emma R stops the fight before it can happen by getting up and asking Amanda if they can talk.

Amanda looks skeptical for a moment, before telling he others to go ahead.

Lucien, who’s having so much fun riling up Noah, smirks and says, “Sure thing, Panda,” before ruffling her hair and walking off with the others.

“Hey! You know dad’s the only one who can call me that!” she yells good-naturedly.

“You keep telling yourself that, Panda,” Ernest chimes in with a snicker as they walk away.

Amanda rolls her eyes and turns back to Emma R, her smile immediately slipping off her face to be replaced with an aloof expression.

“Well?” she asks, arms crossed, eyebrow raised.

Emma R is a little stunned, a little out of her depth. She’s not used to Amanda having inside jokes without her.

Emma R swallows her pride, apologizes to Amanda, asks if they can be friends again.

Amanda thinks it over for a long moment. She’s so tempted to say yes, to leave it all in the past and have her best friend back again.

But her father’s words echo in her mind, and she steels her heart.

“No,” she says.

Emma R looks taken aback.

“I don’t want to surround myself with people who would alienate me for absolutely no reason at all, people who would avoid me and talk behind my back. Real friends don’t do that. I deserve better.”

And with that, she turns around and stomps off after the rest of her new friends.

Emma R watches in astonishment.

Ernest gives Amanda a quick, one-armed hug as she rejoins the group.

Lucien says something too quiet for them to hear from so far away, before slinging an arm around Amanda’s neck and turning to smirk smugly at Emma R.

All I’ve got II pt. 1

Jungkook x reader

genre: tattooed!jungkook, badboy!jungkook, angst, contents of smut, violent actions, slight fluff

word count: 12.1k


Jeon Jungkook was a tall guy, handsome with all those ethereal artwork tattooed on his arms..and your best friend. He was by your side whereas you faced a painful heartbreak, caressing your hurt soul for as long as you needed him. But how much can a friendship withstand if one of the two develops feelings?

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Skyline {V}

Originally posted by hardyness

Warnings: none

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Word count: 3k

A/N: So I originally intended for this to be the last part of Skyline, but because things needed to be explained so much, the story is getting a bit longer than I anticipated.  For that reason, there will be a Skyline pt. 6!!  I almost wish there wasn’t, because I love the evenness and finality of five parts, but what can you do.  Special thanks to Zoe and Jen for helping me brainstorm ideas, and for giving me feedback!!  Also, just a reminder, I do not have a tags list!!  I really hope you guys enjoy pt. 5!!!

{part I} {part II} {part III} {part IV}

You really had no idea how Spider-Man did it.  How could he walk around in his civilian life, bursting at the seams with the secret of his powers, and not tell anybody?  How could he stay up half the night roaming the streets of Queens and keeping them safe?  How did he balance his hero responsibilities with those of a typical teenager?  You were sure that, if the radioactive spider had bitten you, you would not have been able to handle it like Spider-Man did.

You felt the change immediately when you woke up the morning after your night with Spider-Man. After crossing all those lines that the two of you had so carefully left uncrossed for months, you had stayed up almost all night, just talking (and also kissing a little bit?  But really, could anyone blame you?  He was a super hero).  Once Spider-Man had left around four am, you had had less than two hours of sleep once your alarm rang at six.  And by the time you made it to school, you had felt like death warmed over. That day had been a groggy fog of trying to stay awake and coherent until school was over, and you were tucked away in your cozy bed.

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What I Read This Week

(7/8/17)

(Sorry for the late posting!) I read some amazing fics this week, and I can’t wait to share them with you!

Open At The Touch by kiaronna, Teen, 6.5k
Maybe Nishigori got ahold of a lock of Viktor’s hair, and some Polyjuice potion. Maybe it’s all an elaborate prank. With this as his only reasonable explanation, he steps forward, snags Viktor by his robes and tugs him in. There has to be an explanation, mystical and magical or medical, for the best Seeker in the Quidditch world showing up at his door; something besides his portrait, which won’t stop talking to Yuuri anyway.

I LOOOOOOOVED this HP AU! So cute and funny, and also angsty??? One of my favourite HP AUs yet!

The Roommate Trap by impolitecanadian, Mature, 2k (WIP)
Victor doesn’t believe in marriage. So when Chris, his best friend and roommate of 6 years, tells him he’s going to have to move out so he can get married, Victor is reasonably upset. Good thing Victor’s upstairs neighbour is looking for a roommate and maybe a little (okay, a lot) more.

I saw this recommended to me on fan rec friday’s and I thought I would give it a shot! Already entertaining so far, I can’t wait to see what happens next! I also love how it’s set in Canada, that’s pretty cool haha!

28 Tuxes by vodkawrites, Teen, 32k
While planning his 28th wedding, Yuuri begins to wonder if he can ever find love for himself.

I. AM. SOBBING. I LOVED THIS FIC SO MUCH!! The ending had me shook, laughing, crying, screaming!! I loved it!

What Now? by shereadsthestars, Mature, 15k (WIP)
Viktor Nikiforov, Niki to his closest friends- well, closest friend, singular, prefers to keep his nose clean.He’s not the type to hold a strong presence in the room, or even dominate the conversation. He’s quiet, and mindful. And would really just like to finish out the rest of his college career in peace. So it’s no question that his unwavering, slightly over-the-top infatuation with one Yuuri Katsuki is a bit of a problem.

So you all know I’m the biggest fan of college/university AUs, so I had to read this when I saw it on FRF! I love how it’s a reverse AU, I am so obsessed with shy/studious Victor!! (The long hair is also a big bonus haha) Thumbs up!

Much To Do About Everything by DiAnna44, Teen, 5.4k (WIP)
Victor and Yuuri don’t like each other. Which is, of course, perfectly acceptable. Except they never shut up about it, and Phichit and Chris, who are both tired of hearing about it and tasked with the duty of being the wonderful best friends that they are, decide to finally do something about it. Starfleet Academy/Star Trek AU.

GIVE ME ALL THE STAR TREK AUs!!! I love this fic already, the rivals aspect is giving me LIFE! I cannot wait to see where the story goes!

Jackpot by Ashida, Explicit, 5.6k
”Did you think you could get away with it again, Yuuri? Or are you getting greedy?“ Victor drawled low, taunting, trying to bring that person he knew out so they could keep playing.There was no point in Katsuki Yuuri denying it though, they’d played this game for years now. "Maybe I just wanted your attention?” Yuuri looked up and smirked something mischievous, something sinister. That guise melted into the wicked thing that Yuuri was, and Victor knew he was the one who’d been caught.

*fans self* Oh my lord this is SUCH a good one-shot! Gambler extraordinaire!Yuuri??? Married to a rich casino owner Victor??? This. Is. Everything.

the rough with the smooth by sixpences, Explicit, 5.9k
Yuuri grows a beard. Victor loses his mind. So does the internet.

So this is the second beard fic I’ve read and I am obsessed!!!!!!!!! Seriously obsessed. I didn’t know I needed Yuuri with facial hair until now. How did I live my life before this?

You were too much (then all at once you were just enough) by BoredMoose, Teen, 8.3k
You Barged Into My Dorm Room At 4 AM Drunk Off Your Ass And Begged Me To Sleep On The Floor Because You Couldn’t Remember Where Is Your Room!AU 

This was such a fun and entertaining fic! Light and easy read, you have to check this out!

Falling For Your Charms by Reiya, Teen, 12k (WIP)
Professor Katsuki’s crush on Professor Nikiforov is supposed to be a great secret. So naturally, the whole school knows.

I was really feeling the Harry Potter AUs this week, apparently, and I’m so glad I was! This is SUCH an amazing fic by one of my favourite authors, and made me fall in love with this AU all over again. Must read!

‘cause i know you’re worth it by missmichellebelle, Gen, 2.3k
Victor has imagined this moment a million times. He never imagined it being so very spectacularly terrifying.

The sequel/part 2 of the post-it note office AU that everyone fell in love with! This was so cute and a lil angsty! It wrapped up very nice and sweet, though. Love!

(˃̶͈̀_˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾( ノ_ಠ)₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎

Here’s to another week of great fic reading! Be sure to give the authors some love!

3

Dating Harry Hook would include…

  • Salty kisses
  • Harry teaching you how to fight
  • Stealing his hook when the two of you get into arguments
    “Y/n, love, don’t do something you’ll regret. Give me the hook back and we can forget this whole thing ever happen.” 
  • Being close friends with his younger and older sister
  • Harry being possessive over you
  • When you first met Uma she would be highly skeptical over you 
  • But after seeing how happy Harry when around you, she started to take a liking towards you
  • Gil would become a sort of brother figure to you after some time 
  • An extremely airhead type of a brother but still a brother nonetheless
  • Flirtatious comments left and right which consist of,
  • “Hey darling, want to compare tan lines?”
    and…
    “I don’t know if you’ve ever been fishing, but I think we should hook up.”
  • Which would earn a slap
  • He would probably steal you gifts 
  • “Harry… where did you get this necklace? There’s blood all over the chain.”
    “Yeah about that-”
  • Getting a tad bit jealous when you see Harry flirting with other girls. You knew it was just his nature and he meant no harm but it still got under your skin.
    “Aw darling, is someone turning into a green monster? You know those girls don’t mean a thing to me. You’re the only one I care about.”
  • He would love interrupting you with kisses
  • A lot of teasing and playful banter
  • Harry becoming extremely jealous over you close friendship with Jay and Carlos
  • Just as you become a bit envious over his tight knit bond to Uma
  • Adventuring around the Isle together
  • Helping Harry do his eyeliner on mornings when he’s too tired and him doing yours
  • He’d be a touchy boyfriend and constantly have his arm around your shoulder
  • PDA all the time
  • He’s not a huge fan of saying ‘I love you’ and extremely mushy stuff but he shows his affection for you in other ways
  • Like holding your hand and helping you onto the ship
  • And defending your honor by punching out some bloke who made a rude comment about you 
  • Accidently scratching you with his hook which he spends weeks apologizing for, hardly daring to touch you in fear of it happening again
    “Harry, accidents happen! It’s okay, you can hardly even see the mark.”
    “I don’t care if you can’t see it, love. I hurt you and I promised to never do that.”
  • Finally getting him to cave in after putting on a show of fake tears which he catches onto moments after pulling you into his chest
    “You tricked me? I’m actually impressed, sweetheart.” 
  • You two would be a very fun loving and humorous couple that knows how to have a good time
  • Having to pull Harry back down when he gets a little out of hand
    “Harry chill, I think they get the message.” 
  • Harry begging you to let him try to braid your hair 
  • And he surprisingly does a nice job
  • “Yeah, my mom wasn’t around much so I had to learn myself. My sisters had the best hair stylist the Isle has ever seen!”
  • Stealing his hat on multiple occasions 
  • His large ego would be the root of most of your fights
  • But he would make it up to you by forcing you to cuddle with him at night as a form of apology 
  • Most of all, Harry putting your safety and security above everyone else’s including his own

- Daizy xx

Our Little Secret - Part Eleven

Summary: Dean and you try something new on the way to your next hunt

Series Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Square Filled: free space for @spnkinkbingo

Kink(s): Sexting

Word Count: 3400

Warnings: Smut, sexting, language, flashback in italics, texting is in bold and italics

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I’m really loving these character and this series. Thank you for your wonderful responses. A special thank you to the people who looked this over for me.

***THE TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES IS CLOSED**

It’s been three weeks, three freaking weeks since Dean has touched you and you are dying.

The first two weeks had been because you were healing up. He was pretty sure you had cracked ribs and your shoulder had been really sore, so he wasn’t going to chance hurting you, even the couple of times you had insisted.

Then you had gotten the bright idea to tell him either he could have fun with you, or you would take care of it yourself. Dean promptly made sure the two of you shared a room with Sam at the next motel, a smug smile on his face, daring you to go right ahead. If you weren’t so nervous about being caught, you would have called his bluff.

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{internet friend!tom headcanons}

for my girls over at spiderjizz, especially ruby who came up with this and let me steal the idea for this, larb you rubs!
tags: @grant-valdes-holland @sunrisehunny @spideyboys @lil-spidey @peterletmebeanavengerparker @captainswriting @quacksoff @spideryr00s @spideyyss @tomhollandisthicc @underoosie @marvelsdaughter @ladysnowren @spideyyparker @rooyeun @focused-on-holland @toms-spidey

  • okay so to start you had no idea it was tom to begin with
    • his username was “marvels-biggest-fanboyxx”
    • and he obviously didn’t go by tom but by his middle name stanley instead
    • there was never really a tip-off that it was tom
  • you just knew whoever was behind this screen made some badass edits
    • seriously they were some of the best gif edits you had seen
  • you also knew he posted some photos and videos of tom that no one had really seen before
    • “where’d you get that picture of tom? i’ve never seen it before?”
    • “oh i got it from a friend.”
    • “i’ve never seen that video before, where’d you find it?”
    • “i had to search through a lot of youtube videos”
  • anyways, you messaged whoever this stanley was because he seemed cool and you were really just looking for friends
  • you would have been building this friendship for months
    • he had basically become your best friend on this website
    • you send “stanley” pictures of tom all. the. time.
    • “snslsnsos did you see tom’s hair in his latest ig story like stab me in the fAcE”
    • “ahahahahah yeah same”
    • “tom had such a nice ass i wonder what it feels like”
    • and tom is laughing at this, thinking “real nice. it feels real nice.”
    • but you just get “i bet it feels really nice” in response
  • aside from him being your best friend, you don’t know much about him personally
  • and you totally respect his privacy about that
  • and one day “stanley” finally asks if you wanted to skype
  • and you of course jump at the opportunity because you had become so close to each other
    • you told him practically everything
    • he told you everything he could without giving away the fact that he was actually tom
  • you swap skype users and very soon after you call him
  • and you’re sitting there waiting for it to connect and wondering why the hell you’re so nervous about this
    • he’s one of your best friends for crying out loud
  • anyways it connects and you don’t see his face instead you see Tessa
  • at first you’re thinking “stanley what the hell”
  • and then it clicks like “wait a minute, i know that dog” and your eyes widen and the only thought in your brain is “no way, this must be a joke”
  • tom them pops onto the screen, holding tessa all “hello darling!”
    • mainly because he knows how much you love it when he says that
    • and you definitely ranted to him about how badly you wanted him to call you that
  • you just kind of sit there somewhat in shock going on and on about how “this is a joke. this is seriously a joke. there is no way i am on a skype call with tom holland”
  • and tom just laughs and says “it’s not a joke, darling, it’s actually me”
  • and you’re feeling so flustered and slightly embarrassed because you had basically talked about him all the time to him
  • lots and lots of blushing from you
    • tom finds it completely adorable
  • after your first initial call you guys become skype buddies
    • you’d try to call nearly everyday when you could
    • it took you ages for you to stop blushing at the SIGHT of him
  • it took a while for you to be calm around him and not blush every time he looked at you
    • tom found this absolutely adorable
  • you soon realize you don’t really have much to talk about
  • mainly because all you did was talk about him with him
  • so you talk about spider-man and all the other avengers because he’s such a marvel nerd
  • you take quizzes online to see who’s better and smarter with their avengers trivia
    • there’s lots of teasing afterwards from the winning party
  • after a while, tom gives you his phone number which is a huge step for him
  • just so he can call you and have late night calls over the phone
    • you always want to talk but you don’t want your phone bill to be absolutely insane
    • “tom i really wanna talk but my phONE BILL”
    • “pfft i’ll pay for it now please just stay on the phone with me, i wanna talk to you”
  • you guys fall asleep on the phone quite frequently because neither of you want to hang up
  • okay and hear me on this
  • tom would definitely be the type to surprise you by paying a visit to your hometown
  • and not telling you a single thing about it
  • he just sits and waits for you to figure it out
  • you’d be sitting at home in your pajamas having only woken up a few hours ago
  • and tom would skype you while he’s walking around your city/town
  • and you’re just casually talking until “hey wait a second I KNOW THAT THE CAFE”
  • he just laughs at you and probably winks
  • you’re in a slight bit of denial and don’t think twice about it before running out on the streets in your pajamas
    • which typically consist of spandex shorts and a hoodie most nights
    • it didn’t matter if it was two miles away you ran the whole entire way there
  • and your first real life meeting you run into him, knocking him backwards because you had been running so fast
  • you just stand there in front of him in your pajamas, red in the face and out of breath with your hands on your knees
    • “i just ran…two miles…to see if you…were actually here”
    • he laughs because there’s his adorable girl in front of him in her pjs who ran into town just to see him
    • he feel pretty flattered
  • it’s a little awkward though
    • he goes for a hug and you go for a handshake
    • you both kind of awkwardly laugh and switch the roles
    • more awkward laughing ensues because we’re good friends but we’ve never actually met in person before oH nO
    • but he just pulls you into a tight hug and your cheeks flush and you realize that he smells really good
  • tom offers to talk you out to breakfast in your pajamas
    • it’s pretty adorable to say the least
    • he definitely makes a comment about them
    • “by the way i love the outfit darling”
    • you just sit there pretty mortified
    • “alaodjsosnSHUT UP TOM”
  • and after he takes you to breakfast he begs you to show him around
    • “please y/n i really wanna see where you grew up”
    • “tom”
    • “please please please”
    • “tom i’m iN mY pAJAMaS”
    • “i don’t care, cmon please”
    • “!!!no i’m at least going back home to get actual pants”
  • and toms pretty confused and he’s like “what am i supposed to do then?”
  • “you come with me doofus”
  • he’s pretty shook because he actually gets to see where you live
    • even if it is for two seconds while you change
  • you get to your house and go to change completely forgetting about the old baby, school, and family photos hanging on the walls
  • he’s completely enthralled by them all
    • “aw y/n look at you! you’re so cute and tiny”
    • “jsksl thOMAS NO STOP”
  • you’re completely mortified because all of  those are the worst photos of your entire existence
  • and when you actually change you have to physically drag him out of the house
    • “aw but i wanted to see more pictures”
    • “you can see more later”
    • that’s a lie you don’t ever want him seeing old pictures of you again
  • the whole time you’re showing him around he never stops smiling
  • because you’re actually glowing when you explain things and tell him your different childhood stories
  • and then you suddenly remember that time you talked about how nice his ass is
    • you just stop in the middle of the sidewalk and tom’s looking at you so confused
    • “oH mY GOD IM SORRY ABOUT THAT ASS COMMENT I MADE BEFORE”
    • he just sits there and laughs at you
    • “it’s okay love i promise”
    • you’re still mortified by it
  • so!! much!! blushing!!
    • not just from you but from him too
  • overall you spend the entire day together creating so many new memories and inside jokes
    • you take lots of silly pictures together
    • and of each other
  • you’re pretty bummed when he has to leave to go back home
    • “do you have to leave?”
    • “unfortunately love”
    • “i’ll miss you this was fun, next time warn me though”
    • and he laughs and nods and promises he will
  • “i’m serious though i’m really going to miss you”
  • “i know darling i’ll miss you too”
  • and wow i need tom as my internet friend right now
Have fun being stranded in the Philippines.

Please be patient, the buildup to this is intense and long but the resulting revenge has probably put me on the Devil’s shortlist. (tl:dr at the end)

About 3 months before I finally quit, I was getting really pissed. Management was never in the office, the Owner couldn’t make up his mind about anything, and so many people were quitting that I ended up being the only Programmer/Developer in an office of about 50 people… for a company that received 95% of its business from online sales. People started taking credit for my work and I decided to quit. Looked around for jobs, found one pretty quickly, and put in my two weeks notice with a nice little note that simply said something to the effect of “I hereby resign, effective blah blah blah”.

Lo and behold the man who had in the last few days become my manager (we’ll call him Frank) instead of idk maybe promoting the only programmer in the company to the head of the development department, begged me to stay, promised me a raise, and told me about their new project and how he wanted me to be involved.

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Friday Night || Tom Holland

Relationship: Tom Holland x reader

Summary: Meeting eyes with a boy in a club can only lead to trouble.

Warnings: S M U T (18+)

Word Count: 1730 words (it’s so short I’m sorry)

A/N: is it hot in here? its hot in here


Keep reading

Car Sex (Peter Parker x Reader)

Request: HEY COULD YOU DO LIKE A REALLY FLUFFY PETER PARKER IMAGINE WHERE, THEIR IN A CAR MAKING OUT AND STUFF, AND PETER TRIES TO BE SMOOTH, BUT HITS HIS HEAD AND IS REALLY CLUMSY TRYING TO TAKE THINGS FURTHER. BASED OFF THIS PROMPT LIST I SAW “CAR SEX LOOKS WAY EASIER IN THE MOVIES” IF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE LOLOLOL

Warnings: Mention of sex, sexual themes, swear words

Word Count: 845

A/N: I legit forgot I took this request sorry for the delay!!

Originally posted by darlingriezmann

Peter was woken up from his thoughts, hearing someone knocking on his car’s window. He turned his head and saw Y/N, freezing from the cold outside. He quickly unlocked the doors and let her in.

“Peter, what the hell, I’ve knocked for like a million times, did you want me to freeze to death or something?” Y/N wasn’t mad at all but was really shocked by the cold weather. Peter mumbled: “Shit…Y/N, I’m so sorry babe, are you okay?”

He took Y/N’s hands in his to warm her up. Y/N could see how concerned he was, therefore, she smiled to show him she was fine. However, Y/N was also thinking about turning this horrendous event into something both beneficial to her and Peter: “Wanna warm me up?” she asked with an innocent smug on her face.

Peter didn’t really get what was going on until Y/N started to get closer to him inch by inch until their noses were brushing each other. Peter whispered: “Oh… I see,” and closed his eyes. He placed one hand on Y/N’s face and the other on her waist, slowly but passionately kissing her. This was the first time they were making out in a car, meaning both of them were more than thrilled by the situation and neither of them had any experience at all. Y/N tried to get closer to him because the position they were in was no longer comfortable. She held his shoulder with one of her hands and tried to get onto his lap while still kissing him. However, it was impossible for Y/N to fit between the steering wheel and Peter, therefore she gave up. Peter noticed Y/N’s failed attempt and he felt the urge to make fun of her in the middle of their hot and passionate making out session. “Next time I could try to get on your lap what do you say?” he smiled into the kiss earning a groan from Y/N: “Next time shut up when we are both turned on what do you say?”

Peter took his hands off Y/N to adjust his seat so that Y/N could sit on his lap. Y/N started to kiss down his neck, leaving little bruises for the next day which would probably not be covered by Peter as he sucks at covering hickeys. Peter was trying too hard not to moan at Y/N’s sudden licks and bites on his neck but he gave up when he couldn’t concentrate on finding the device which adjusts the seat: “Babe…If-if you keep on doing that I won’t be able to have you on my lap…” Y/N didn’t seem to care but she let out a quiet huff on Peter’s neck, sending shivers down his spine. “That didn’t really help at all,” he mumbled.

When Peter finally managed to make space for Y/N, she quickly hopped on his lap, surprising both of them because no one was hurt at all. “Now the fun begins,” Y/N giggled, crushing her lips onto Peter’s once again. They both moaned loudly, the make-out session was getting rougher each second until Peter decided to start kissing down from Y/N’s neck to her breasts. Y/N was thrilled by the sudden action but when she threw her head to the back abruptly, she hit her head: “Ow!!”

For a second Peter wasn’t bothered by Y/N’s loud gasp, thinking she was making it out of pleasure. “Peter?!” Y/N shouted and he looked up at her.  “Oh my god, what happened?!” It was obvious that Peter was struggling to hold his laughs back. “What do you think?”

“I turned you on so much that it gave you a headache?” Peter looked up at Y/N innocently, failing miserably to hide his smirk. “Stop the witty banter Parker!” Y/N wasn’t actually mad but her headache was making her cranky. “I’m sorry babe, let me see…” Peter tilted his head up and Y/N moved her head down for Peter to see the bruise. It didn’t matter because it was already dark outside, therefore, Peter couldn’t see anything. He gently kissed her forehead and whispered: “Is it healed?” Y/N smiled weakly, staring into his eyes: “It did,” and slowly started to kiss him again. In between the kisses, Y/N whispered: “Peter it’s getting cold in here could you turn the A/C on?” Peter turned the car on and they went back to where they left for the fourth time.

The things were getting rougher again. Y/N started to grind on Peter, making him moan. Peter roamed his hands under her shirt while sucking on her neck. Y/N couldn’t bear the teasing anymore, she moaned: “Just take it off, Peter.”

“As you wish.” Peter tried to take her shirt off smoothly and surprisingly, succeeded. But he wasn’t that lucky when it came to her bra. “I swear to god it is impossible to unclasp-“ Peter was cut off with the sudden noise of his car horn.

They both screamed and Y/N started to laugh. However, Peter was unamused. “For god’s sake, car sex looks way easier in the movies!”

Female Chinese Adoptee in the US

Hi, I’m a female Chinese adoptee who spent more time with a foster mother than in the orphanage. I was adopted before I was half a year old by a white American single mother, and later raised by two white American parents once she married. I have a younger sister who is also adopted from China, but we aren’t blood related at all (yes people do ask me if we are). I grew up in a largely white portion of the south and went to religious schools with largely white populations (My mom did not adopt me from some misguided Christian white supremacist stance of saving me). I’m currently getting a degree in theater and film, so well thought out representation and minority stories are very important to me. Every adoption story is different, and as far as I can find, you only have the one POC profile on Chinese adoption and I wanted to give my point of view for variation.

I want to preface this by saying that my adoption has had a big impact on my life, but it is not my identity, and the impact it’s had isn’t something that I was consciously thinking about as it happened. It’s mainly as I’ve gotten older and looked back that I’ve realized how it has impacted certain aspects of my life. Growing up, my adoption isn’t something that was always on my mind, and it’s only through trying to better understand myself and who I identify as that I’ve come to analyze it more. Also sorry this is super long, I just wanted to be thorough.

Beauty Standards

Again, not something I consciously thought about when I was younger. Contrary to the popular stereotypes and fixations about Asian eyes, the shape of my eyes wasn’t something I thought about. What I was self-conscious about when I was a kid was how “flat” my face was, especially my nose. I felt like I didn’t have any definition, and because I didn’t grow up seeing many other Asian people or POC for that matter, I didn’t understand that different races had different facial structures. I just internally accepted that the caucasian facial structure was how people were supposed to look. I’ve since accepted the way I look, and while I don’t think I’m the hottest chick out there, I like the way I look.

Culture

When I was young, my mother enrolled me in Mandarin Classes and Chinese Culture classes/camps designed for Chinese adoptees to help me connect to my native culture and to surround me with other people like me. At one point I was even enrolled in a Chinese Fan Dance class if I remember correctly. I’m sure I had fun with some of them, just as I’m sure my attention span was short when I was a kid and that I got bored quickly. I didn’t have a problem with them at the time, but looking back I do remember feeling mildly annoyed with going to the events specifically for adopted kids because if felt like people just assumed we’d be friends because off of us shared the adoptee experience. I get that same feeling of annoyance when people to this day tell me “Oh, so and so is adopted from China too! You’d like her,” because I personally resent the idea that people assume my adoption is my identity and that alone is enough for me to connect with someone.

Identify Issues

I have always identified as a Chinese-American. My parents were always very honest with me about my adoption for as long as I can remember, so I was always somewhat aware that I was different. That being said, growing up surrounded by white people meant that the people I identified with where white, and there was a time in middle school where a teacher mentioned something about me being different in regards to my race (we were talking about casting for the school play). For a good 5 minutes I was confused about what she meant until I remembered that I was Chinese and not white like everyone else. That’s a moment that’s stuck with me throughout my life and I’ve always been a little ashamed of forgetting myself.

Recently I was asked if I identify as an immigrant, and I didn’t know how to answer. Technically I am one. At one point I had a green card and my mother had to fill out paperwork to make me a US citizen, so I don’t feel like I wasn’t an immigrant, but I also don’t identify with the typical image of immigrants. My story of finding my place in America isn’t the typical story of POC immigrants so I don’t necessarily feel solidarity with them. 

Within Asian Americans’, there’s been a stereotype about them being too Asian, but not Asian enough which is something I’ve also struggled with on both sides. In high school when I mispronounced pho, I was accused of being a “bad Asian” by a white friend, but when I was talking diversity politics with a teacher, my point of view was dismissed because she knew I was adopted so I was “basically white anyway.” While I do try to defer to the point of view of Asian immigrants and descendants of immigrants when it comes to certain topics and experiences, I also think it’s important for people to understand that when I interact with the majority of people, I am treated as an Asian woman. I live life as an Asian woman, not a white woman. Alternatively, because I grew up in such a white area, I admit that I grew up with a lot of internalized racism and have found myself judging mixed race Asians for the same thing from time to time though I am actively trying to unlearn that habit.

Honestly, as I get older and try to understand who I am more, the more confused I get over my identity. It’s still something I’m working to understand.

Language

Outside of the Mandarin classes I went to briefly as a kid, I also took 3 semesters of Mandarin in college to fulfill my language requirement. I did actively choose to take Mandarin because I thought it was important for me to learn, not because of my culture, but because as an aspiring Chinese American actress, many breakdowns for roles require a knowledge of fluent Mandarin. I am not fluent. I fulfilled my requirement and haven’t pursued it any further as of yet. I might try again in the future.

Daily Struggles

Since turning roughly 18, whenever I go places with my parents, we’re typically asked if we want to split the check, but if my younger sister is with us, no one asks. I don’t know if it qualifies as a struggle, but it’s something I’ve noticed that biological parents and children don’t go through as much. I’ve also come to explain that I’m adopted when I’m talking about my childhood or my past. I do it partially to give context to whatever story I’m about to tell or for whatever I’m explaining. Ex: I’ve had to explain my background during a workshop when I wrote a paper on representation in media for Asian Americans because the people reading the paper didn’t know I was Asian American simply from the context of the personal experiences I presented in the paper and were guessing my race off of my white sounding name. I’ve also had to explain my background when another Asian American commented repeatedly that I “sound so white.” I’m also very open about the fact that I’m adopted if people ask because it’s not something I’m ashamed of, and I want to normalize the idea of adoption.

When I was only a couple years old there was a girl who made fun of me for being adopted. It’s one of my mom’s favorite stories, because rather than letting the girl get to me, I said something snarky in return, but I’m assuming that’s why I try to normalize the idea of adoption, because being adopted doesn’t make me any less of a person than someone who is still with their biological parents.

I also witnessed a lot of the Asian eye jokes, but curiously enough they were never directed at me. I guess that says something about the kind of environment I lived in, because when I said something to a boy drawing an “Asian smiley face” he looked stunned and was surprised that I was Asian. I guess this instance doesn’t have as much to do with adoption but is more of a comment on the stereotype about how Asians are supposed to look distorting the fact that we actually look like regular human beings and not caricatures.

Dating and Relationships and Home/Family Life/Friendships

I’m putting these two in the same category because my abandonment issues have had a similar impact on them. As a kid, I always hated leaving when we were visiting my out of state grandmother or whenever my mom would go on a work trip. I would cry and fuss, and even as an adult, I hate saying goodbye for a long period of time. Intellectually, I know I’ll see these people again, but emotionally I worry about what if? I also get really scared and start tearing up if my parents are late coming to pick me up from the airport when I come to visit. I worry about being left alone. And I want to emphasize that this isn’t a conscious, “Oh, I’m adopted, I’m worried I’m going to be abandoned again” type thing. So much of these feelings are internalized and subconscious. It’s just that fear of never seeing someone you care about again, and even though I’m a logical person who knows that they’re just late, I can’t override that fear.

I have never had a romantic relationship and I have a few close friends, but I’m not the life of the party. I’ve always been careful about forming connections with people and have even actively resisted it when I was younger and was going to camps or doing something where I’d only see these people for a small amount of time. I had the mentality of “It’s not worth it because I’ll never see them again,” and that’s another thing I’m trying to overcome, because I still don’t like making connections if I know they’re not going to last. For similar reasons, I’m also very bad at vocalizing my affections and feelings towards people. I’ve never liked letting people close, and there was a time when I was a teen where I even distanced myself from my family, and that’s a bridge I’m still trying to repair to this day.

My family has always been understanding of the fact that I’m dealing with a lot when it comes to understanding my adoption and my identity, but there are also some things that they don’t understand and it can be hard to talk to them about things like my cultural identity and growing up around tons of micro-aggressions that they’ve never had to deal with. 

Misconceptions

The idea of who my real parents are. The idea of one set of parents being more valid than the other just seems fucked up to me, especially when it’s been posed to me as “So if they tell you to do something, do you ever just say, ‘No, you’re not my real parents, you can’t tell me what to do.’” My adopted parents are still my parents. I also think of my biological parents as my parents. I have never hated or resented my biological parents for giving me up nor have I ever used my adoptee status as an excuse to act out towards my adopted parents. While I do know about the One Child Policy, I don’t know the specific circumstances surrounding why I was given up for adoption. I don’t see the point in being angry about it without knowing the whole story, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may never know the whole story.

I also don’t feel particularly grateful towards my adopted parents or like I owe them anything for adopting me. Don’t get me wrong, I still love them, but I’m not actively trying to repay them for adopting me. I don’t owe them my life, they’re just my family.

Self-Esteem

I had a lot of self-esteem issues growing up, and they still persist today. They aren’t something I linked back to my abandonment issues until I sat down and talked to a therapist. I’ve always been a perfectionist to the point where I was never happy with anything I did, unless it was perfect. I literally never felt good enough. Part of the reason I distanced myself from my family is because I didn’t want to be a bother. Intellectually I knew I wasn’t going to be abandoned again, but I still felt like I had to be as good as I could possibly be to make sure. This is another one of those things that was never consciously thought about, it’s just how things were. I didn’t feel like I or whatever issues I was having was worth the trouble of bothering people, especially my parents, so I just didn’t, and had a habit of keeping a lot of things bottled up inside without telling anyone*. It’s another thing I’m also currently working to better my perception of myself.

*Just because I was trying to be a good kid and didn’t vocalize affection much does not act as an excuse for writing a submissive, emotionally stunted stereotype of a Chinese Adoptee. I am also snarky and sarcastic and opinionated and outgoing with my friends.

Things I’d like to see less of

Stop using adoptees in the abortion argument in general, especially if you don’t understand the adoption process or the issues adoptees face. Stop asking me to choose who my real parents are. It also bothers me the way people romanticize adoption, even if it’s people in various fandoms goofing around. People who adopt are not saints. Fandoms who make light of adoption and squee about wanting to adopt a character or wanting one character to adopt another makes light of a whole situation. Adoption is a great thing. It’s great for kids without families to get a family, but it’s also a painful thing for the kid, because a kid needing to be adopted means that they’ve also lost a family at a young age. Please be sensitive of that. Don’t romanticize adoption. People trying to empathize with those internalized feelings of abandonment and mistrust when they don’t have the same or similar experiences. Other people are allowed to feel those things, but please understand that the degree of what we feel is immense. From a personal perspective, when people try to do that, it feels like they’re making light of what I feel.

Things I’d like to see more of

Just normalizing the idea of adoption and understanding the good and the bad. Adoption stories in media that don’t hinge on the angsty, rebellious adoptee being angry at their adoptive parents. Stories that give adoptees identities outside of their being adopted. Understand that all adoptees are not the same. We all have different experiences based on race, religion, the region we’ve been adopted into, the kind of parents we have. There are so many variables that make up who we are.