i think these are the last of the photos i'll find

I’m sorry that I’m so embarrassed. It’s just that he was never the one who asked when we could see each other. So when I heard you ask if we could do something tonight, I didn’t know what to say, because I’m just not used to it.
I’m sorry that I’m so nervous. It’s just that he once said we’d meet up at 3pm, and when he arrived at 6pm he gave me a far-fetched apology and a quick kiss, then he moved on to another subject. So when you and I were supposed to meet up at 11 last Friday and you were already standing there at 10.55, I didn’t know how to react, because I’m just not used to it.
I’m sorry that I’m so awkward. It’s just that he only ever texted me first if he needed something, and I never got a good morning or goodnight text from him. So when I heard my phone vibrate two days ago at midnight and found a “good night sweetheart” from you, I didn’t know what to respond, because I’m just not used to it.
I’m sorry that I’m so shy. It’s just that people only take pictures of what they love, and he never once asked for a photo of me. So when you took out your camera and told me to look at you, I didn’t know how to pose, because I’m just not used to it.
I’m sorry that I’m so clumsy. It’s just that he saw me only when he wasn’t too busy. So when you said that you didn’t have much time but that you’d come and see me anyway, I couldn’t find the words to thank you, because I’m just not used to it.
I’m sorry that I’m so sensitive. It’s just that he always took hours to text me back, and sometimes he didn’t even do it. So when I sent you a message at 6.56 and you responded by 6.57, I could hardly believe it, because I’m just not used to it.
I’m sorry that I’m so terrified. It’s just that I always hoped he would do this or that, and nothing I wished for ever happened. So now that I’m too deluded to dare hope for anything, my hands start to shake and tears fill my eyes when it all happens exactly the way I want it to.
Please don’t hold it against me, and please don’t be surprised. Cause darling you treat me so fucking well, and I’m just not used to it.
—  I’m sorry that I let him steal my trust

I haven’t been as low as I have been the last few days for a long long time. You have really really hurt me. But maybe that was what you wanted I guess. Anyway, being so low and struggling to get out of bed for longer than 30 minutes has given me a lot of time to think. I know you hate paragraphs, but don’t worry, I can promise you this will be the last one you receive. The things you said to me two days ago are unforgivable. I hope that maybe one day you realise that they were just collateral damage to the anger and the upset and they are not how you truly feel, but if this day never comes then I am sorry that you ever thought so badly of me.

I am so deeply and truly sorry that I ever made you think that I didn’t love you, or that you loved me more. I am sorry that I didn’t do enough to show you how much I care about you. I thought I was doing enough, but having had time to reflect I guess that maybe that wasn’t enough, but that realisation has clearly come too late and that is my fault. You are the first person I ever loved. That is why this has been so hard for me. That is why, despite everything that has been said and done, I can still look at photos and videos of us and smile and laugh. That is why I just can’t let you go, why I am struggling so hard. I am sorry for not making the journey to see you. I thought I didn’t have the time, but that’s not an excuse. I should have found the time. You are everything to me and you were then too. I was just so flustered and had so many different new experiences going on at once that I was overwhelmed. I am sorry that I didn’t write more in your Christmas card and I am sorry that made you think that I didn’t love you.

I hope one day in the future we can see each other once again. I hope that this isn’t over. But maybe it is. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. But I need to stop trying to plan everything. As you have kept telling me to do. It’s just how I have always lived my life. But it’s hurting me more than it’s helping me.

So I just wanted to clarify for you - you are the only thing I have ever loved. From September to December I was the happiest I have ever been in my life and I will spend the rest of my life trying to find that happiness again. I loved you with everything I had, but maybe that just wasn’t enough and for that I am sorry.

But I also deserve more than what I received the other day. That was unacceptable by all standards. No matter what has happened in the past.

As soon as I send this message I am going to block your number and in a few days, when the aftermath of my message has blown over, I will unblock your number in case you ever have an inclination to contact me.

January - April S, I am sorry you are so angry. I am sorry that you felt the need to say the things you said. I hope you soon come to realise that they were unwarranted and unnecessary. And if you don’t, I hope you find someone that can make you truly happy.

September - December S, I love you so much baby. You are my forever and always. I hope we find each other again soon. I miss you with everything that I am. There is a hole in my heart where you are missing. I think about you every day x

—  Text I wrote to my ex, S, and never sent.

anonymous asked:

Hey, I have zero experience in drawing or any kind of manual art like that. But I've decided I want to try and learn even just the basics, but the resources online are sketchy and I have no knowledge to be able to decipher what's good and what's not. I really love your art, I know you probably get this a lot but where do you think I should start?

ALRIGHT alright alright I’m going to make this some sort of ”beginner artist” masterpost and include as many resources as I possibly can. I am going to assume you want to focus on the ”drawing” aspects of art since it can take many forms. Here are some pointers and resources I consider vital when learning how to draw, things I’ve learned from multiple art oriented courses. This is going to be a very quick and general thing and I’ll make some serious and properly drawn tutorials in the future (the drawings in this one are going to be embarrassing, try to only take the general idea from them) but to start off:

  • Before you jump into drawing in any particular style, learn your realism.

This is probably mistake #1 in many young art enthusiasts: they go straight into wanting to draw either anime, or a particular cartoon’s style because a stylized form of art is much more appealing to them than realistic things. Which is valid, but I’ll have you know in order to get any of those styles right, you have to learn the basics AND ONLY THEN proceed to use that knowledge to ”deform” said realism into any style you want. Be it learning from life drawing and observing, pictures online of real people or animals. When you look at a big household name in the artist world’s work, as flashy as their stuff might be, a trained eye is able to tell immediately if the person has proper anatomical knowledge or not, no matter how much they try to mask it with ”this is just my style.” Let me show you an example: 

(excuse the 5 minute sketches pls, note these are actually highly inaccurate (the knees should be placed lower on the second drawing and calves shouldn’t be as big as the thighs) but I wanted to demonstrate ”realistic proportions” in contrast to more of a stylized drawing in a really quick way, a google search for “human anatomy” will bring up much more accurate visual representations of all this so I highly recommend doing that)

But basically in order to play around with anatomy you first need to learn realistic proportions (you don’t need to absolutely master them or anything, but you need to know things like the distance between the forehead, eyes + nose and chin correlate, places where fat stores in comparison to where muscle stores, the size of the forearm until in reaches the wrist/arm are practically the same, arms + hands reach below the hipbone and halfway to the the upper thigh) and only then proceed to bend those rules to create your own stylized version of things, which means you get to play around with a lot of shapes like so: 

  • USE GUIDELINES

For the love of all that is holy make use of guidelines, whether with a light colored blue or red pencil if you’re drawing by hand or a sketch layer in Photoshop/SAI etc. They will help out so much when it comes to knowing where you should place each feature. Many people attempt to draw directly without them and while after a lot of practice it might work, to start off you really need to understand basic figure building.

(I’m literally drawing all these one drawing a minute excuse the shittiness I’m just trying to get the point across ahah gOD THESE ARE PISSPOOR)

  • Carry a little sketchbook with you if you can and draw strangers while riding the train, bus, etc. Just draw whatever you see.

It’s not only entertaining when you might be bored out of your mind but extremely productive to draw people, animals, scenery, anything you can see that you might want to sketch out for practice, you can. No better way to learn than real life. 

  • Take time to draw. And draw. And draw.

You will not learn or improve overnight, bettering yourself when it comes to art is an endless and ongoing lifelong process. But it won’t be due to osmosis, you gotta sit your ass down and draw as frequently as you can afford to (although excesses can be bad for you, learn to also take breaks and find comfortable positions because drawing CAN REALLY MESS UP YOUR BACK like badly and you don’t wanna end up hunched over because of it or with tendonitis) But believe me: practice makes perfect and if you learn to observe and understand why you’re drawing what you’re drawing, why are you placing that line where you’re placing it and start thinking in 3D, you will surely improve.

Now for the part you truly want to look out for -

RESOURCES

USEFUL BOOKS/AUTHORS

MATERIALS

BLOGS WITH AN INFINITY OF TUTORIALS

HELPFUL WEBSITES

Last but not least, some artists that inspire me beyond words and that might also inspire you.

I hope this helps!

DAY SEVEN: Hallways

WELL… i’m a little late on this one. but whatever! 

FINAL DAY! EXCEPT NOT REALLY! a story about a world where soulmates are connected through their dreams by hallways. soulmates can pass through these hallways, but to their mates, they’ll always appear invisible in this dreaming world unless they’ve met once in the waking world. max and johnny are in this one.

Keep reading

Texting
  • James Potter to Why has prongs added evans? :
  • James: Lily you left your book at the house yesterday.
  • Peter: oooooo why was she at our house james. why.
  • James: she was studying with Remus you prick. Change the name of this group.
  • Sirius: No way you trashed our group by adding her. now you have to live with the consequences.
  • Sirius Black changed the group name to; James has a boner for Evans:
  • James Potter removed Sirius Black from the group:
  • Lily: what is going on?
  • James Potter removed Lily Evans from the group:
  • .
  • James: hey Lily you want to come over and revise?
  • Lily: you do a biology degree? I do history??
  • James: divorced. beheaded. died. divorced. beheaded. survived.
  • Lily: ...
  • James: I'm also ordering pizza for everyone.
  • Lily: I'll be there at 6.
  • .
  • Remus: Sirius you need to stop annoying Lily.
  • Sirius: what??? how dare you... Evans loves me
  • Lily: you piss me off Black
  • Sirius: betrayal...
  • Lily: i'm sorry but you took about a thousand photos on my phone of your newly done eyebrows and filled up all my storage.
  • Sirius: you should b honoured.... Remus would b
  • Remus: Sirius, I have to spend enough time with you showing me in person.. I really don't need pictures.
  • Sirius: you guys suck. I'm adding Jamie
  • Sirius Black added James Potter:
  • Sirius: you love my eyebrows don't you James?
  • James: of course Pads
  • Sirius: awwww see
  • Lily: but Sirius my phone isn't working because of your stupid eyebrows
  • James: fuck your eyebrows Sirius.
  • Sirius Black added Peter Pettigrew to the group:
  • Sirius: Pete, you like my eyebrows right
  • Peter: yeah i guess?
  • Sirius: haha! told you guys
  • Remus: ugh..
  • Lily: srsly
  • Peter: wait you've all been on a chat without me?
  • Peter: ...
  • Peter: hello?
  • .
  • James: Pete did you put my green jumper in the wash?
  • Peter: it was on the floor of the bathroom.. so yes I put it in the wash.
  • James: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. THATS THE ONE LILY WORE AND IT SMELLS LIKE HER AND NOW IT WONT SMELL LIKE HER WHEN I WEAR IT.
  • Peter: have you considered therapy?
  • .
  • Lily: hey can I come over and steal some of your food? I'm broke and hungry... plus your house is really warm for some reason?
  • Remus: Okay, but i must warn you James is doing shirtless karaoke in the sitting room with Sirius.
  • Lily: thats okay.
  • Remus: Is it now?
  • Lily: be quiet and come open your front door.
  • .
  • Lily Evans to; I guess she's here to stay then..:
  • Lily: oh my word Sirius I just looked... my eyebrows look amazing
  • Sirius: I told you. Say it. I'm a genius.
  • Remus: Oh be quiet Padfoot.
  • Sirius: Make me.
  • James: ugh guys take the sexual tension somewhere else pleaseeee
  • Sirius: gladly.
  • James: NOT INTO THE ROOM NEXT DOOR TO ME
  • Lily: hahahahah
  • James: where are you right now?
  • Lily: coffee shop on the corner. Why?
  • James: because my house is no longer safe for my precious ears. I'm running away to find you.
  • .
  • James: oh my god shes so pretty
  • Peter: i know
  • James: and her eyes
  • Peter: I am aware
  • James: ugh and her hair
  • Peter: yup....
  • James: god she is so beautiful
  • Peter: so why aren't you telling her this?
  • James: don't be an idiot Wormtail.
  • .
  • Sirius: mooonyyyyyyyyyy
  • Sirius: moony my ray of sunshine
  • Sirius: light to my darkness
  • Sirius: hope to my dismay
  • Sirius: my brightest star
  • Sirius: mooooooonnnyyyyy
  • Remus: What.
  • Sirius: I love you.
  • Remus: ...
  • Remus: What did you do.
  • Sirius: I got jam on your jumper by accident... not a big deal i think i can clean it
  • Sirius: oh shit no i've made it worse
  • Remus: Fuck you do not touch anything I swear to God Padfoot. I'm coming home right now and stabbing you.
  • Sirius: I love you
  • Sirius: Remus?
  • Sirius: crap okay I'm hiding
  • .
  • Lily: Rem you're staring at Sirius' butt
  • Remus: He has a nice butt.
  • Remus: and nice hair.
  • Remus: damn I'm so gay for him.
  • Lily: I would hope so, you've been together for like two years now?
  • Remus: He has great eyes too..
  • Lily: James has nice eyes
  • Remus: :-) what
  • Lily: What? Me? What?
  • Lily: pretend i didn't just send that
  • Lily: my point is you're staring at Sirius' butt and the lecturer has noticed and is glaring at you.
  • Remus: oh shit.
  • .
  • James Potter changed the name of the group to; Party tonight and we are all going bitches get yourselves ready:
  • Remus: That's really how you're going to announce it?
  • Sirius: gets the point across, I like it
  • James: thanks pads
  • James: I've invited Lily too.
  • Peter: oooooooo
  • James Potter added Lily Evans to the group:
  • Lily: woo hoo party!!!
  • .
  • Sirius Black changed the name of the group to; 'James got drunkkkkk af':
  • Sirius Black changed the name of the group to; 'Lily got smashed':
  • Sirius Black changed the name of the group to; 'and they totally kissed':
  • Sirius Black changed the name of the group to; 'like a proper snog alll nightttt longggggg':
  • Sirius Black changed the name of the group to; 'James wants to sleep with Evans':
  • Sirius Black changed the name of the group to; 'and now he finally knows Evans wants to bang him tooooooo':
  • Sirius Black changed the name of the group to; 'they in loveeeeeeeeee':
  • James Potter removed Sirius Black from the group:
  • Remus: He's not wrong though...
  • Lily Evans removed Remus Lupin from the group:
  • Peter: what no how did i miss this historical moment!!!!!
  • James Potter removed Peter Pettigrew from the group:
  • .
  • James: hey
  • Lily: hi
  • James: how you feeling?
  • Lily: okay i guess...
  • James: cool cool cool...
  • Lily: look about last night-
  • James: about last night
  • Lily: haha...
  • James: I'd do it again.
  • Lily: what?
  • James: I mean if you wanted to obviously! and not like drunk and sloppy like last night haha... but i would kiss you again... if you would want me to... I mean i know we're just friends and stuff but... you're really pretty is what I'm trying to say....
  • Lily: I'd like that.
  • James: what?
  • Lily: if you kissed me again.
  • .
  • James Potter added Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew to the group:
  • James: YESSSSS GUYS SHE SAID SHE WOULD TOTALLY KISS ME AGAIN IM KING OF THE WORRRLLLLDDDDDDDDDD
  • Lily: I'm still here.
  • James: :-)
  • Lily: :-)
  • This was inspired by another post like this i saw a while back, but now can't find, and from suggestion i recently got.
  • Send me in any other ideas!

Picture this, folks. New York. January. Cold like a loveless marriage, the sort that turns around and shivs you just for something to do. Snow gone brown and mushy. Grey sky, and the clouds look like tobacco smoke against it. Probably taste like it too, and piss out bourbon when they rain - the city’s got that kind of feel to it. And me, traipsing through the alley like a damn schmuck on a case that’s locked up tighter than a whorehouse to beggar. I’ve been on this thing for thirty six hours and it’s gone straight to hell with a manic grin and a trail of bodies to mark the way.

Am I being screwed over? Like a choir boy on an altar, but a case is a case. You don’t hire a guy like me if you’ve got an easy one and this is so far from an easy one I may as well get a new passport and emigrate. I’ve had two guys try to drop me and I’m getting fucking sick of being shot at, and the church that was supposed to be my next lead is a pile of smoking rubble with a corpse or two thrown in as a fun freebie to brighten my day. Nothing cheers you up like learning that your kidnapping case went murderous on you. Better than Christmas come eleven months early and leaving a pipe bomb in your stocking, and Santa being a dick who drank the last of the booze and stuck an IOU note to the empty flask.

How did I get myself here? Well. It started with this dame. Scamander, that was the name, friend of Queenie’s sister, something like that - Queenie comes over to my desk all smiles like she couldn’t stick a stiletto through your heart and twist it. Says she has a case for me, says I’ll like this one. Says I should open the window and let some sunlight in the room before I choke on the gloom, but all that would do is swap the smoke from inside for the smog from outside and it’s high quality smoke in my office. I ain’t trading that for the cheap shit they breathe in the street.

“Don’t be shy honey,” she says to the dame. “Graves don’t bite. He talks big, but he’s a real softy on the inside.”

You’re a star, Queenie. A real diamond in the shitpile of life. God only knows why I keep you around.

She ushers the dame in, and I prepare myself for the usual schtick. Been doing this job for long enough now that I know the trope: red dress, killer heels, flashier jewels than a doll their age could afford but the kind of makeup that says exactly where they got the money from. Drop a bit of leg on the desk, bat their eyes and take the sort of drag on their cigarette that a guy would usually pay to see, dump a case on me that no sane detective would ever take.

Joke’s on them; they can lean forwards all they want, but this detective is as bent as politician’s morals. Nice assets darling, but they do exactly squat for me. I take the cases. I solve the cases, because that’s what I do. And then I charge them through the fucking nose for the privilege and drop their pretty jewels off at the pawn shop on my way home. It pays the bills.

So I’m sat there, bracing myself for more of the same, and Queenie steps back as the dame comes through.

I swear my heart took one look and decided to do the fucking charleston against my ribs. One of the routines which is all kicks and flailing like an epileptic flamingo and some idiot shredding a ukulele in the background.

“Take a seat, sweetie,” Queenie says, and I can see on her face that she knows exactly what her new case is doing to me. If I wasn’t so close to cardiac arrest I’d say something about that, but I focus on remembering to breathe instead. “You want anything? Coffee, tea, can I get you a slice of something nice?”

“Whiskey,” I croak out, and Queenie ignores me.

“Oh,” the dame says, and fuck if his voice isn’t liquid honey and ice cream in summer. Fuck. “No, I’m good. I wouldn’t want to be a bother.” He ducks his head and looks up through a curly ginger fringe. Pain starts shooting down my left arm as my heart gives out.

“Don’t be silly,” Queenie scolds. “I’ll get you a tea, you just wait right there.” 

He smiles, all bashful and shy, and I start praying because I’ve lived through a lot in the comedic shitshow that’s my life but this? This is what’s going to kill me.

“So Mr Scamander,” I say in a strangled attempt at a drawl. “I hear you have a case for me?”

He nods, quick and jittery like, and reaches into his pocket for a photo. When he unfolds it it shows some miserable fuck with a haircut not even a mother could love and I swear, this better not be his boyfriend. My life is trouble enough without the inevitable fallout when I steal the guy’s dame from under his nose. Because I will. I’ll feel bad about it, sure, but morals are a luxury I’m miles too broke to afford and opportunities like this don’t come often enough to pass them by.

“This is Credence. He’s my…” He pauses. It’s a long pause, one that drags on too long as he searches for the words, and I can tell you this because I wasn’t breathing during it and my chest was on fucking fire by the time he picked up again. “He’s family. And he’s missing, and I wanted - I was hoping - you think you can find him, Mr Graves?”

And see, you don’t come to a dive like this with a basic missing person’s case like that. My brain’s as pickled as my liver from all the spirits I’ve soaked it in, but I ain’t blind enough not to spot that there’s something more going on here. I shoulda chucked the dame out the window and told him to keep the change for trying to pull a fast one on me, or at the very least grilled him like a flambe steak until he spilled the beans.

He leans forward and bites his lip, big eyes all wide and bad news writ over him like a twenty foot billboard and fuck me sideways with a jazz band.

My will’s in my left shoe and Queenie, the traitor, is inheriting the business and every dime of the debt that comes with it. 

I was wondering when I would end up writing fanfiction for Pokemon and apparently it wasn’t until Team Skull showed up.

I was thinking about how there are three pillows on Guzma’s bed. Maybe he just likes pillows but I also immediately thought about how he could go to sleep on the bed with Golisopod and Ariados, if they want to, and each would get a pillow.

So this is around 1500 words of silliness (and one, more serious spot) where Golisopod is taking up most of the bed and Guzma is trying to get it to move over.  There is some swearing and implied violence, because I do believe Team Skull would be swearing if it weren’t for the fact the game was rated E.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

gallavich prompt: can you do something where one of them has an accident and forgets who the other is? :)

// ok I’ve given this my best shot…it’s a total standalone, full on oneshot, completely unrelated to my gallavich queer club universe (but trust me there is lots more of that coming!) enjoy //

‘Im sorry Mr Gallagher but he has amnesia.’

Ian sighed. 'But he’s going to remember? It’ll come back?’

'We can’t know anything for certain. I don’t want to promise something that may not happen. You’re free to visit him now, though. He’s awake.’

So Ian walked slowly down the corridor, breathing in the harsh chemical smell of the hospital. He just wanted to get to the room and see Mickey, yet he walked slower than ever. He knew that every step he took was a step closer to discovering something terrible.

'Can I come in?’, he called, knocking on the door. The man in the bed frowned at him, confused.

'I think you have the wrong room, man,’ he said, shrugging blankly.

Ian’s heart almost stopped. 'Mickey. It’s me. It’s Ian’, he whispered, shocked.

Mickey’s eyes widened. 'How the fuck do you know my name?’, he said, his tone suspicious and body inching away from Ian in caution, who had now entered the room.

Ian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 'I know your name, Mickey Milkovich, because I have loved you for just shy of eight years.’

'I’m not a fucking fag,’ Mickey spat aggressively, but his eyes were fearful.

'You’ve got to be kidding me,’ Ian muttered incredulously. Mickey had reverted back to how he was before coming out. Before even knowing Ian. He walked up close to Mickey and got up close, the words falling slowly but piercingly out of his mouth. 'I don’t know what year you think you’re in, but back in 2014, you came out. You practically screamed it. Your dad beat the shit out of us, but we won. We went home and showered together and we didn’t fuck that night. We kissed with our broken faces and just lay side by side all night. Toe to toe, head to head. I held you. I kissed away your tears. And then, Mickey, then you rested your ear over my chest and you fell asleep listening to my heartbeat.’ Mickey was staring at him, paralysed. Ian wondered if he’d gone too far, but he didn’t stop. 'I know your name, Mickey Milkovich, because I can’t count the number of times I’ve fucking screamed out your name each time you coaxed my body into an orgasm…which you reciprocated nicely, might I add. Usually I top. But liking what you like don’t make you a bitch, isn’t that right?’

'I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but you need to shut your fucking mouth,’ Mickey practically whimpered. Then Ian calmed down a little. He realised that this wasn’t Mickey’s fault. So he spoke softly and less aggressively.

'I know your name, Mickey Milkovich, because six months ago, we got married. In the park here in Chicago. Our sisters were bridesmaids. Your brothers didn’t show up. But mine became yours. Lip was my best man. Kev was yours. And Yev was ring bearer. Your son - our son.’ Mickey was speechless. 'He’s almost five. And these are the rings he carried down the aisle to us,’ Ian said, holding up his hand to show the thick, plain silver band snug on his fourth finger. Then he tentatively reached out to run his thumb over Mickey’s identical ring. Mickey instinctively snatched his hand away like Ian’s touch burned him. 'In your vows, you told me that you loved me beyond any and all things. And you told me again later, when it was just us, because I still couldn’t believe it. It felt like a dream. Because I love you too, Mickey. So, so much,’ Ian told him, tears in his eyes, desperate. He clasped Mickey’s hand now and held on, his husband’s hand, the hand he knew better than his own, as he cried silently.

Mickey stared at their hands, fingering the ring on his finger, frowning. 'I don’t know where to even begin…they told me I had some amnesia but…how could I forget so much? There’s just, years and years missing. Years with you, apparently. You don’t seem like the sort of guy I could forget’, he whispered.

Ian raised his eyebrows. 'Was that - are you flirting?’ he almost laughed.

Mickey looked away awkwardly. 'Look, I know I’m gay. I’ve always known. I never kiss guys. Don’t want them to get attached…well. I don’t want to get attached to them, honestly.’

'You kiss me plenty. All of that playing-it-straight crap went to shit after a couple years with me.’

'Am I really married? To you?’ Ian reached for his wallet.

'I’ll bring more pictures from home, tomorrow - but I always have this one with me. This is us. Last May.’ Ian showed him the little rectangular picture.

'We look good,’ Mickey remarked, but the two men in tuxes with matching grins looked like strangers to him. There was a pause. 'Do I really have a kid?’

'Yes. He’s here,’ Ian said, flipping the pockets of the wallet over and revealing a photo from a year or so ago, of Yev sat on the couch at Ian and Mickey’s place. 'Yevgeny. We all call him Yev.’

'What kind of a -’

'Russian.’

'Why?’ Ian considered how to answer. 'Who’s his mother?’

Ian sighed. 'It’s a long story. I’ll tell you another day.’ Mickey didn’t persist.

'How did we meet?’

Ian smiled. 'It was 2011. We were still living out our teenage years, though yours were nearly over. You thought I’d - hurt your sister and you just burst into the shop where I used to work, screaming out my name. Wouldn’t be the last time you did that…anyway. We didn’t really meet until I came to your place one morning. We started out fighting, pretty hard, but then you pinned me down and - I just remember our eyes locked and we just stared at each other, and we just knew. And then we were just doing it. Fucking in your twin bed. I was fifteen. Shit.’ He sighed. 'We kept hooking up in secret. Always rushing through the sex. Terrified of getting discovered. That was more you than me, but still. We didn’t even kiss for, like, two years. Not that I didn’t try. But we used to flirt shamelessly. That was more me than you. You were nothing like anyone I’d ever known. I didn’t think you could exist. But you did. Eventually you seemed to just accept that you wanted me and you weren’t going to deny yourself pleasure anymore. It was literally destroying you, Mick.’

-

Ian had gone to get them both coffee. On the walk back, he reflected. It was still unbelievable. And unfair. But when hadn’t things been with them? He didn’t know how he could tell Mickey everything. Svetlana. Terry. His bipolar. The accident. How could everything about them have been wiped clean out of his head?

As he returned, he was broken out of these thoughts by Mickey’s voice ringing down the corridor. He was…singing? Ian listened.

'And I don’t want the world to see me, cos I don’t think that they’d understand’, Mickey sang, scratchy but pure.

Ian stood in the doorway, frozen. Mickey noticed. 'Are you ok?’, he asked.

'Mick…why were you singing that song?’, he asked in a choked whisper.

Mickey shrugged. 'I don’t actually know. I seem to remember it from somewhere. And it’s - it’s nice. I guess,’ he said, puzzled. 'Why?’

Ian stepped inside the room slowly. 'That was the song we danced to at our wedding. It’s our song, it’s our fucking song’, he said, then sang the next line, voice shaking, 'when everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.’

They didn’t say anything. They just stared at each other, both searching for things that the other didn’t know how to give.

Mickey slowly slipped off the ring and held it. 'So I can remember our wedding song but not the wedding’, he murmured bitterly.

Ian noticed Mickey’s eyes fill with tears. He knew him well enough to know that any second he would begin crying. He walked over and held Mickey, not caring if the gesture was too sudden - if his husband was crying, he was going to comfort him. Sure enough, Mickey gave a loud sob, then tears fell down his face as he began to cry. Ian absentmindedly stroked his neck, planted little kisses in his hair; it was second nature. 'Sorry,’ he said after a moment, worrying Mickey would react adversely to the affection.

Mickey shook his head. 'It’s fine. It’s - nice. That’s not it.’

'Then what?’

'It’s just…I want to remember it, all of it. Not only for my sake but for yours too, this isn’t fair to either of us’, Mickey sobbed.

Ian nodded. 'I know. I know’, he said, feeling tears sting his own eyes. After everything they’d been out through, this just felt like the sickest, most fucked up twist of fate.

Mickey slowly turned and looked at Ian. He had somehow ended up curled against Ian’s chest, a familiar position. They were so close; Ian could feel his breath on his neck and it took all the strength he had not to kiss Mickey. It was too soon, it was too soon, he kept telling himself.

But then Mickey reached up, slowly, tracing the outline of Ian’s face. Tentative at first, then coming to cradle Ian’s face in his palm. Mickey’s eyes fell to his lips.

'Oh fuck,’ Ian murmured, and gave in. He kissed him hard, and then Mickey returned the kiss, deepened it. Ian’s hands ran through Mickey’s hair and they really tasted each other. Ian couldn’t get enough of him, no matter how familiar he was. That was the beauty of it.

'Your kiss. I’ve had it before’, Mickey said breathlessly.

Ian smiled. 'My lips are clearly a pretty unforgettable experience’, he smiled through his tears. Mickey laughed.

-

Mickey had fallen asleep in his arms and Ian had stayed, holding him. It reminded him of old times, before the accident. They lay together on the bed, Ian breathing in the same old smell. The blood and the hospital couldn’t erase it; it was, unmistakably, home.

'Ian? Are you awake?’, he whispered.

Ian looked down at his husband. 'Yeah. I’m here.’

'I just want to say. I’m - I’m sorry. You don’t deserve this. I can’t imagine how hard it must be’, he said.

'It’s not your fault’, Ian began, but Mickey cut across -

'regardless. I’m sorry. And when the doctor sees me tomorrow, I’m going to find out how I can beat this thing - if I can. If I can’t, well…’, he trailed off, unsure what would happen.

'Then we’ll work through it. I vowed to take you in sickness and in health’, Ian reminded him. 'God knows you’ve done that for me. Look, I love you, Mickey. I will always love you. And I know you’ve forgotten how to love me, but I’ll remind you. I want you to remember, to feel it all again’, he whispered, kissing his neck.

Mickey smiled. 'Thank you, firecrotch,’ he muttered as his eyes closed, drifting back into sleep.

Ian’s heart jolted and he closed his eyes, grinning, as more tears came. 'You’re on your way back, aren’t you,’ he whispered, kissing Mickey’s forehead gently. He didn’t think his old nickname had ever made him cry before.

But that was their relationship. Expect the unexpected. Always.


// the end! PLEASE keep sending me prompts, I gotta write every day this month! //

not sure I would ever actually write a fic of it but I kind of want to think about a jayroy soulmate au for young justice (because i’m always a slut for soulmate aus and jayroy would be like. Ultimate Angst)

  • so I mean first of all you have to talk about what kind of soulmate au it is
  • tbh I always go for “first words” soulmate aus
    • but where’s the fun in restricting it to only words though? so what if Bona Fide Humans From Earth have first words but martians have an immediate semi-permanent totally low-effort telepathic connection or something
      •  (like. something even more so than their usual telepathic powers. something about that person just feels Right.)
    • kryptonians on the other hand have idk pictograms or something. imagine if they had timers lmao would clark’s be fucked up from relativity or whatever until he arrives on earth
      • kal-el’s parents: what the literal fuck is going on with our kid’s timer what the fuck what the
    • clark either has to fake a soulmark (definitely has to hide his timer, possibly under a watch bc clark thinks he’s funny like that) or just pretends that his is hidden under his clothes all the time. lois has words – probably in english instead of kryptonian tbh
      • the real problem is whether she meets superman or clark kent first. whose words does she have on her
      • pffft imagine if it’s clark’s words on her. lois is always assumed to be in a relationship with superman but her words aren’t from her, they’re from her fcuking ridiculous fellow reporter clark kent
      • finally lois finds out the truth and just takes a deep breath and clark kind of sheepishly shows her his timer and is like “uh sorry I don’t have a matching soulmark because kryptonians have timers instead of words but I promise you it timed out when I first met you”
    • ANYWAY
    • conner and m’gann would have soulmarks in this au too is what I’m saying. soulmarks in their various forms are a universal constant, not just a human thing
    • trying to match up with the various people/aliens in the universe is fucking difficult though because sometimes it’s like “oh cool” and then sometimes it’s like “why the fuck are my lips purple with you kissed me for the first time couldn’t you just leave words written on me??”
      • alien s/o: do…you want me to write words on you? I can do that. and personally I think it’s weird that you don’t leave color sO….
  • right but anyway onto the jayroy

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey do u know any good, long fics that are angsty? Like maybe breakups and they meet again or hate to love something like that. I feel like I've read all the usual recommended ones.

so it’s gonna be a mix between my Angsty fic rec, and the “long fics” one, okay ?

- Photograph by @tvshows-addict and @anhcor(…) An epic love story in which Harry is too in love for his own good, Louis is in denial of his sexuality, and they write songs instead of actually talking to each other. (185k,  canon but not really

- Nobody shines the way you do : Louis pretends to be Harry’s boyfriend to help him win back his douchebag ex-boyfriend, but things don’t go according to plan. (115k, TW about cheating)

- We The Fireworks , by @happilylarreh : It’s the morning after the night before and Louis doesn’t know how on earth he made it home in one piece but he reckons it maybe has something to do with the curly-haired stranger, standing half-naked in his kitchen. The problem is that this mysterious stranger, who has a huge secret and an even huger heart, doesn’t seem to plan on leaving Louis’ life anytime soon and doesn’t seem to be able to get it into his stupidly adorable, curly head that Louis is absolutely, utterly, completely, one hundred percent beyond help. Out of reach. Lost in the night. Or The AU where Louis needs saving and Harry wants to save him but doesn’t want to admit that maybe he needs saving a little bit too.  (103k, TW though, check the tags)

- Hiding Place, by @alivingfire : Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual. From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. Meanwhile, Harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. All he has to do now is convince Louis to give them a chance. Or, the canon compliant Harry and Louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide. (365k, Canon)

- Flour and Chocolate , by @and-they-call-me-prideful: it was nice, for a bakery he supposed. Then he approached the display cabinet. And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN. What. The. Fuck? Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.  OR Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street. (145k)

- Love Is A Rebellious Bird , by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews : AU in which the boys still make music.  Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who “has made Mozart cool again” according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best.  Zayn and Liam are around too.Don’t hum Bolero. (134k, a big classique!)

- burn to ash , by @bethaboolou: Harry is sitting there, so fucking casual, and Louis realizes in a split second he was not ready. When Harry walked out in Detroit and never looked back, he was a boy verging on a man, still only twenty years old, but there’s a man in his place now. Hard and resolute, yes, but still, for the first time in a long time, Louis can kind of see the old Harry in him. The soft, directness of his gaze, the hesitant smile he gives to Lou, the way he wrings his ridiculously large hands in his lap.He’s a little bit the eager sixteen year old puppy dog again, his innocence and sweetness resurrected miraculously, and Louis freezes in place. He was prepared to face the asshole Harry. He was prepared to meet a whole new Harry. Louis is not prepared to meet one of the old incarnations of Harry, and it absolutely tears him up.Or the fic where Harry spirals out of control, the band breaks up, and then he shows back up, five years later. (116k, future fic)

- Nameless Night , by green_feelings (aka @sadamenoito​ ) : For their 18th birthday, every person receives a letter that reads a simple date. That is the date you’ll meet your soulmate. Harry and Louis have different beliefs, live in different worlds and have different dreams, hopes and fears. Yet, they’re not so different from each other when it comes to love. When their paths cross, there is no doubt they belong together. Except for that one, essential difference: they didn’t receive the same date. Or, a fic about differences that make no difference at all: Harry and Louis are soulmates. In every way possible. Featuring Niall as a role model, and Liam and Zayn as a different kind of role models. (155k)

UPDATE (last update on April 4th 2017)

Keep reading

To the people complaining about how hard it is to have one bias in BTS.
  • Me: *wakes up*
  • Me: how's jimin doing is he eating well is he okay is he tired is he happy with himself is he working too hard is he exercising his voice is he making sure he's not straining his vocal cords is he caring about himself as much as everyone else is he accepting help is he taking the advice from the right people has he identified the difference between hard work and being too hard on himself does he know his limits and that it's okay to have limits does he know he's never slacked off does he know his expectations are what make him feel like he fails but it's not a product of reality does he know how strong of a person and a presence he is does he know when to let go of things is he sleEPING
  • Me: how's tae doing is he playing games is he encouraging everyone to have fun is he communicating has he seen any kids lately any animals is he feeling accepted and appreciated is he living in the moment is he being a honest compassionate genius is he getting his space and serious time does he know it's okay if he can't make people understand and it's not a defect of his skills it's not his fault that he's not being heard does he know that some things are out of his control and it's okay does he know that sometimes people don't see the relevance in what he's saying and that's okay and is he making sure his hyungs are alIVE
  • Me: how's jin doing what has he cooked lately is he playing pokemon is he on the wii is his fliphone okay how are his hats and circular glasses is he feeding everyone has he told himself he's handsome a minimum of ten times today has he checked up on everyone's psychological health and stability does he know that i love how comfortable he is in his skin is he living contently has he caught up with his family does he know how much he is appreciated and how much of a lasting effect he has on everyone around him does he know how attentive and perceptive he is does he know how much i love that he continues being himself and how stable and hard-working and reasonable and positive and brave and professional he is and so much perseverance he deserves the spotlight but doesn't always take it just like when he wrote the lyrics for propose guys and didn't even give himself a big part he works so hard on dancing and doesn't feel the need to be validated by others words because he feels appreciated where he needs to be does he know how special he is does he know how much we love his go-getter attitude and that no one has forgotten how amazing of an actor he is how he enjoys life how he's mature and knows what to keep private does he know how cute he looks with glasses on and how anyone who can't see his charm is blind and how he has so many cool interests and how he knows everyone's potential and has standards for them has he given everyone equAL HUGS TODAY
  • Me: how's namjoon doing is he thinking deeply what books has he read lately does he know that no amount of thinking things through can prevent slip ups and that's okay does he know how sincere h is does he know how much of an individual he is and how much i love that is he contemplating life is he making good songs is he encouraging everyone is he telling everyone they're wrong when they snub themselves is he putting his arms around everyone and making contact in that way he does which shows his love in the little things is his phone out of memory did he remember his earphones is hE BUYING THE CLOTHES HE WANTS
  • Me: how's yoongi is he sleeping well how's his neck pillow doing has he remembered to eat does he feel like he's good enough does he give himself enough credit is he getting his introvert time is he content is he identifying his emotions healthily is he being attentive of the members is he putting logic to their insecurities in order to relieve them is he being strict is he keeping bts in a row is he subtly but consistently showing them love in all those little ways is he expressing his deeply felt emotions is hE SELF ANALYZING
  • Me: how's jungkook is he making faces is he dancing is he working hard is he being overly competitive is his head in the clouds is he being hard on himself does he know how perfect he is does he know that he's as productive as 1000000 american teenagers is he being comfortable with himself with his true self does he know it's okay to show his emotions he doesn't have to be cool don't feel too pressured is he accepting things is he speaking up is he sTILL RUSHING TO GROW UP
  • Me: how's hoseok is he being positive is he acknowledging his negative emotions is he living in the moment is he freestyling does he know he's an adequate rapper does he know we care about his mixtape has he been getting love is he screaming enough is he releasing his stress by releasing all of his emotions no seriously are his stress levels okay is he sick is he being too self sacrificing iS HE IGNORING HOW HE FEELS THINKING IT WILL JUST
  • Me: *takes first breath of the day*
  • Me: oh god i feel so bad for writing more on jin i love them all so much it's just i feel like so fed up with how no one appreciates him
  • Me: and oh god i feel like i didn't do too well on some of the other members but
  • Me: i love them so much i just
  • Me: i have to give them equal gifsets equal photo sets it's too much it's too much why can't i just have one bias then it's easy
  • Me: *comes home*
  • Me: i feel like i've been posting a lot of taehyung, jimin, yoongi, and namjoon lately
  • Me: and why do i keep forgetting someone when i do the tags???? what's wrong with me????
  • Me: i feel so guilty i'll post a lot of jin and hoseok and jungkook!!! i love them too idk
  • Me: i posted a lot of them and now it feels uneven??? i need to do equal pictures
  • Me: *gets ready for bed*
  • Me: i'm going to post some maknae like awwww- wait i like this picture but that would mean jimin gets three pictures and tae and jungkook get two each unacceptable i'll have to find two more pictures of-
  • Me: well now i need to post some hyung line they're great too
  • Me: *falling asleep*
  • Me: i feel like i haven't given enough attention to namjoon today and why aren't there more awesome pictures of jin like wtf that's not right-
  • Me: *dreaming*
  • Namjoon: i posted a kimdaily today and you didn't notice tf is wrong with you
  • Me: i'M SLEEPING
  • Namjoon: you didn't even reply in your sorry mangled KOREAN
  • Me:
  • Namjoon:
  • Hoseok: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
  • Me: wait you actually read those-
  • Namjoon: i was guessing that's what you do?
  • BTS:
  • Me: that's not gonna work again
  • Jungkook: why don't you notice me more i was creeping around hoseok in the last bangtan bomb OvO
  • Me: wHY YOU GOTTA BE SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE HUH
  • Jungkook: I WAS JUST STARTING TO OPEN UP TO YOU
  • Jimin: HOW COULD YOU
  • Jin: do you find tae suga jimin and namjoon more handsome than me? admit it the reason why you don't reblog me as much is because it takes you loner to find a "handsome" picture of me
  • Me: NO I JUST DON'T ALWAYS THINK YOU'RE AS PHOTOGENIC?
  • Jin: what
  • Jungkook: pardon
  • Me: I LIKE YOUR AIRPORT FASHION BETTER AND WHEN YOU'RE BEING NATURAL I JUST
  • Jimin: omg! why would you make them feel left out like that i thought you loved all of us i'm crying omg leave me alone
  • Me: don't cry you'll get dehydrated i know how you are about drinking wa-
  • Jimin:
  • Me:
  • BTS:
  • Me: YOU'RE JUST SO hiGH MAINTENANCE WHY DO YOU TAKE SO MUCH TIME FOR WORRYING HUH
  • Jimin: I'VE MAD THE FANS SAD IT'S ALL MY FAULT I'LL TRY HARDER
  • Me: FU-
  • Tae: wow you obviously find me the most handsome??? wtf
  • Me: THAT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE YOU THE MOST
  • Tae:
  • Tae: you obviously find me the most funny??? wtf
  • Me: funny?
  • Tae:
  • Tae: excuse me
  • Me: anyway YES I FIND SOME OF YOU MORE CONSISTENTLY ATTRACTIVE BUT
  • Yoongi: i think you mean me, tae
  • Jimin: OMG STOP *sob* FIHTHTIGNG *sob* I HAVE TO PROTECT *breath* EVERYONE THIS IS MY FAULT
  • Tae: LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO JIMIN
  • Jimin: juNGKOOK
  • Yoongi: wow if you can't love us all then jeez just pick a bias
  • Me: would you juST-
  • Hoseok: YOU ALMOST FORGOT TO ADD ME INTO THIS!!!!!!!
  • Me:
  • Me:
  • Me: stop screaming
  • Hoseok: DON'T PRETEND. YOU JUST NOW ADDED ME TO TOP!!!
  • BTS:
  • Tae: HYUNG THERE YOU ARE
  • Hoseok: i feel faint
  • Tae: *crouches down*
  • Hoseok: *sits on Tae*
  • Me:
  • Hoseok: YOU LIKE ME BETTER IN SCENARIOS DON'T YOU!!!! YOU READ FANFICS AND THAT'S THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT ME TO BE!!!!!! I DON'T SAY JAGIYA THAT MUCH!!!!!
  • Me: *pretends to throw something*
  • Hoseok: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
  • Hoseok: KJADFKADadGKADJGAD?!?!?!?!!?!
  • Tae: look a dog
  • Jin: OH NO TH BEE BEE QUEUE PIJA IS BURNING?!?!?!!
  • Namjoon: *trips and crushes Jin's DS*
  • Jungkook: inFIRES MAN
  • Namjoon: IT'S inSPirES!!!!!!!!
  • Jungkook: pardon
  • Yoongi: YOU FORGOT TO ADD MY PILLOW INTO YOUR DREAM WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
  • Namjoon: mY PHONE IS NOT CHARGED
  • Jungkook: O_O
  • Me: JUNGKOOK GET AWAY FROM ME STOP CREEPING
  • Yoongi: *yanks on maknae line's leashes except jimins*
  • Jimin: *starts recording with the V app*
  • Jimin: SEND HEARTUS TO MEND MY HEARTU?!?!?!! IN DIALECT WE SAY THIS LIKE
  • Hoseok: haerTEU OH MY HAEURTO
  • Yoongi: SHIT FUCK SHIT SHIT FUCK DAMN
  • Jungkook: O_O
  • BTS: i thought you loved all of us
  • Jungkook: O_O
  • BTS: i thoUGHT YOU LOVED ALL OF US
  • Jungkook: O_O
  • BTS: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ALL OF US
  • Me: I NED U BTS WAE HONJA SARANHAGO-
  • BTS: *leaves*
  • Me: DON'T DO THIS I NEED U/PROLOGUE SHIT ON ME DON'T
  • Jungkook: O_O
  • Me: *wakes up crying in the middle of the night*
  • Phone: *OH MAN HOLY SHIT notification sound goes off*
  • Me:
  • Me: better check that
I'll Be Good

“Love,” Calum says before looking up at me instead of the white duvet. “I will let you go.”

Originally posted by teasecalum

Words: 3000+

Request: No

Rating: R

(Or the one were Calum already broke Y/N. But now, she finally leaves.)

Author Note: I got the idea from one of my favourite music groups Years & Years. (Song xx) I suggest you listen to the song before you read because then you would get the gist of it! (Or do whatever, I don’t control you!)


I should’ve known that he was lying the first time I found out, I just decided not to. I mean, how stupid can I be. I’ve always said that if a guy ever cheated on me I wouldn’t give him a second chance, but here I am and allowing a guy to break my heart again and again, and I just let him.

The first time I’ve heard about Calum cheating was when he was on his second world tour. Calum always told me not to listen to the tabloids and just listen to him, but it was quite hard to not listen to the tabloids when the pictures just seem so real.

“Cal?” I ask, my voice wavering as I look threw the magazine that has Calum kissing a girl in a nearly dark lit night club, except of the glowing neon lights that brighten somewhat of the picture, but it is enough for me to see this girl kissing Calum. “Hey love, what’s up?” Calum ask, his voice nonchalant like nothing happen, like he didn’t do anything. “So, I’m like in the grocery store right? And I see this picture of you and, and it says that your cheating on me,” I choke out, as I try my hardest not to cry my eyes out in the grocery store probably lurking around with paparazzi, like how it was outside.

“Love, you know I wouldn’t ever cheat on you,” Calum breaths into the phone. “But Calum they seem so real. Like you’re in a nightclub in one of photos and then there is one were your pulling a girl into the bathroom? Calum, if you’re doing it just tell me. It would hurt way less than me finding out.” I breathe, as I feel a tear run down my cheek and I quickly move my hand to wipe it off my cheeks.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N its Photoshop, you know this. And you also know that I would not do this to you. Love remember what I said when we first got together, you have to believe me, not the magazines, not the news, you have to believe me.” Calum speaks his voice stern and caring all in one. I take a huge breath before nodding my head and placing the magazine back onto the rack and tugging my way along the bread aisle. “I guess it was stupid for me to believe them, yeah?” I laugh as I hear Calum’s laugh also. “Y/N it’s not stupid. I mean it’s your first time being with person that’s like really famous, so I can’t blame you for getting this scared. I love you, just remember that,” Calum tells me. I speak back the words that Calum said to me before canceling the call and stuffing my phone into my purse.

The second time I’ve heard, well more like witness, Calum cheating before my eyes was when Calum came back home from his second tour.

“Love can you get my phone from the night stand please!” Calum calls as I see him walking to the fridge to get another beer while the soccer game is on commercial. “Yeah sure,” I breathe out as I finish the last article of clothing to get folded. I put the basket back onto the ground before dusting my hands and making my way upstairs and into Calum’s and I’s  room to get his phone on the nightstand.

As I grasp the phone in my small dainty hands, I feel Calum’s phone vibrate in my hand, as I stare down at it I see the text message run across the screen. ‘When are you coming back on tour? I miss you sooooooo much :( ‘I feel my breath hitch as I continue to re-read the message over and over again. I finally look at the contact name and it says Sandy. So I guess Sandy is the one that is seeing Calum while he has a few days off from tour.

“Love, what are you? What are you doing,” Calum ask as he makes his way over to me and takes the phone out of my hand. “Who’s Sandy, Calum?” I ask, as I place my hands on my hips and stare at Calum as he looks at the message before looking at me. “She’s just a fan that I met on tour,” Calum breaths out before placing his hands on his hips also.

“Oh is she now? Is this ‘fan’ of yours the one that you have been cheating with me on? Is this ‘fan’ of yours the person that you see when you have your days off tour instead of seeing me?” I state as I feel the tears in the back of my eyes. “Y/N do you hear yourself right now? You sound crazy! You know that I would never do that to you!” Calum exclaims before taking my hands in his.

“Do I? Do I actually know that you wouldn’t have done that,” I state before letting go of Calum’s hands and walking back into our room and begin packing my stuff. “Baby, where are you going?” Calum ask as he stands near the door way and looks at me packing my stuff. “I’m going to stay at Jessica’s house tonight? Clear my head, and maybe think.” I say my voice hollow and stern.

“What are you going to think about there? Can’t you think about it here?”Calum breaths, out while running his hand threw his chestnut hair. “I’m going to think about if I should stay with you or if I should go.”

There were many more but these memories were probably the ones that hit me more than any of the other ones because they were basically just repeated. The text messages, the tabloids and its pictures, and then the phone calls, and then the constant lying it’s just too much for me.

“Love, why are their suitcases by the door?” I hear Calum yell from downstairs before I hear his feet shuffling up the stairs and his footsteps padding along the hallway until they reach the front of our bedroom.  

“Whose stuff is in suitcase downstairs? Is your mom coming to stay a few days?” Calum asks as he places his case down in front of the closet doors. “It’s mine,” I speak while staring at Calum. Calum knots his eyes in confusion before speaking again.

“Where are you going? It looks like all your stuff is packed,” Calum breaths out. I nod my head while standing and making my way over to him. “All my stuff is packed Calum. I’m going to leave. Like for good. I can’t keep doing this anymore,” I say as I wave my hand between the both of us.

“All the stuff that you did to me, it ripped me apart. All the lying that you did to me, all the constant text messages, and arguing, it ripped me apart! God it did, and you still told me to listen to you and never the tabloids but god Calum you just ruined me, you know? You just lied to me every time I asked if you ever cheated on me. And the worst part is, is that I let you! I let you lie to me and hurt me; you broke my heart so much that I don’t think I even have a heart anymore. There just scattered around every room in this house that you lied to me in. I’m sorry Calum, but I’m done, I can’t do this anymore. This pain is just too much.  I played too many games with you,” I state.

“Love, I’m so sorry, but I can fix this. I swear I can fix this. I’ll stop everything just for you! You’ve been there for me at all my toughest moments but now it’s my turn for me to be there for you and all your toughest moments.” Calum breaths out before I see tears run down his cheeks. “I’m sorry Calum but you’re too late,” I breathe out.

“Love, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’ll make it better, I’ll be better. I’ll do what you like if you stay the night! Just don’t leave me, you’re all I have, and I know that I treated you like shit, like utter shit, but I’ll be good, just for you. I love you so much, love , just give me one more chance,” Calum cries out, and it breaks my heart to see him like this.

“I give you too many chances, Calum.” I breathe out, and my stern face and steady voice manages to disappear and I feel my cheeks begin to burn under my skin and tears begin to fall down my burning cheeks. I don’t even get to wipe my burning and tear soaked cheeks before I feel Calum hands wiping my tears away and pressing his lips against mine.

Here I am, crawling under his skin and trying to breathe as he continues to drag me back down with him, but he isn’t dragging me back down. I’m sinking. I’m pressing myself into him and holding his neck with all the passion that I crave for him. I’m pressing my lips against his like this will be the last time we will ever meet again, like the many times I have done when he is about to fly off to another city. “You hurt me Calum. You hurt me so fucking much,” I breathe against his lips as he continues to wipe the tears down my blazing cheeks before pressing his lips against mine. He has, Calum has hurt me so much and I just can’t seem to let him go because I’m just so in love with him and when you’re just in love with someone for so long, you just accept what they do and you don’t push them away, because for me I surely can’t.

“I know love, I hurt you so fucking much and I’m sorry about that, just don’t leave me, please,” Calum voice cracks as he speaks to me. I love him. I love him so much, and I have always seen a future with him. “I don’t want to leave you Calum, but I have to. I can’t keep on getting hurt by you.” I say to him while brushing the tears that run down his now blazing cheeks.  

“I just can’t let you go, fuck,” Calum huffs out before gasping me by my neck gently and pressing his lips against mine. His lips stay on mine until his tongue swipes my bottom lip and I grant his invitation before his tongue is dancing on mine. Swirling, and twirling around on my tongue. Calum removes his hands from my neck and grasp my hips into his hand and he picks me up like I weigh nothing.

From there he carries me to the bed and gently places me down on the bed before gently placing a kiss on my forehead and from their he cascades his lips down my lips to my neck and then my collarbones. I moan as his lips meet mine again before his sinful fingers begin to tug up blouse and throw it over my head. “You’re so beautiful. You have such a beautiful body. Beautiful face, beautiful personality, beautiful hair, beautiful lips. You’re just so beautiful,” Calum whispers to himself but loud enough for me to hear and my stomachs flutter but my heart also broke, because how many girls has he said that to.

A moan falls from my lips when I feel Calum’s burning lips press down my stomach before his long slender fingers begin to undo the belt, buttons, and zipper on my jeans before tugging them off with my panties. Calum leaned back down, opening me up and licking gently. “Fuck,” Calum whispered leaning further in and licking more, everywhere except my clit, where Calum knew I needed him the most.

“Calum, fuck,” I moaned brokenly. “Don’t fucking stop. Feels so good,” I whined as I buried my head into the bed and my hands into his now messy hair. I felt Calum’s hands move away from holding my thighs to running his hands down the curve of my body. Calum flicked my clit with the tip of his tongue, and I know that he felt me tense up a little.

“You’re so sensitive here, huh?” Calum asked, while he looks up from me in between his thighs and I just moan from the sight. And Calum does it again and again until he was licking my clit faster and faster, feeling my muscles tense up beneath him.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” I moan as my thighs begin to quiver against Calum’s face and my hips stuttering. “Don’t stop, don’t stop. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m gonna come, baby.” I moan out, and I feel one of Calum’s arms let go of my stuttering hips and interlock his fingers with mine. “Calum, fuck,” I moan as my hips were bucking up to meet Calum’s tongue, and my words becoming a babbling mess. “Shit, fuck.” I whimpered, my hips moving faster until I came, crying out Calum’s name.

Calum worked me through my orgasm before rising up and licking his lips and pressing them against mine. I pull away from Calum’s lips, before getting on my knees and quickly peeling his t-shirt over his head, after Calum peels off his shirt he begins to tug of his pants and boxers off before pressing his lips against mine once again. And I know that I am not thinking, I know that I am not thinking clearly because the only person that I am thinking about right now is Calum. Calum is the only thing that I  am focusing on right now. I am only focusing on how Calum is staring at me as he presses his thick, heavy, member inside of me.

I moaned out at the feeling, only knowing that this will be the last time before I will ever be intimate with someone again. Calum begin thrusting, just gentle little bumps of his hips but every two or three strokes he’d circle his hips which would make me cry out. I widened my thighs as Calum’s muscles relaxed some more while also burying himself deeper in me.

“Fuck, Calum!” I gasped, wild with passion. “Fuck! Let me… love… you…” Calum panted out desperately while his eyes met mine. “Calum,” I whimper when Calum thrust into me. Calum grabbed my hips as he sank the farthest he could go. “Yes, fuck, right there” I groaned, flicking my hips to met with Calum’s thrusts.

Our sex was always like this, always intense, and mind-blowing but fuck! This was something else. Maybe it’s because I’m leaving, and never coming back, that Calum is putting all of his love and passion into me. And I wish that it didn’t have to be this way, but I’m tired and this love and passion that Calum is giving me right now, is only fueling me to stay with him, and I don’t want that.

“I love you,” Calum whispers, his voice ruined as tears begin to build up in his eyes before he presses a kiss to my lips and then begins to pick up his paste. It’s starting to get faster, and it’s starting to burn more, the feeling inside me is beginning to burn more, and the tears beginning to run down my cheeks. I gently reach up and grasp Calum’s neck in my hands and press his lips against mine. And they burn, his lips burn against mine, like they always have, like his lips are poison and he is trying to poison me and beat me and break me down, and the sad truth is, that they did.

“I’m gonna come, Calum,” I moan out and open my eyes and look into Calum’s eyes. And their red and Calum just presses his lips to mine before sucking a bruise onto my neck. “Let go love, let go,” Calum breaths before taking his hand and reaching down and rubbing my clit. All I see before I come is those brown eyes. Those brown eyes that use to stare at me constantly with love and happiness, and those brown eyes that use to make me cry with joy and love, but now those brown eyes are making me cry with sadness and worry.

“Fuck, Y/N please, just stay with me, I’ll be good. And I know I made it worse but love, I swear, I’ll be good, I’ll be better. Just give me another chance,” Calum cries out while hugging me tight to his body. And just like Calum, I break down and cry, this isn’t easy, leaving someone that you love, leaving someone that you told everything too, and leaving someone that you spent so much time with isn’t easy, but I have to go. I have to leave. This is for me.

“I’m sorry Calum but I have to go. I have to leave, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry but I have to go,” I cry out before tugging out of Calum’s strong grip. I grasp the blanket that I have spent so many memories in, and wrap it around my body before picking up all my clothing and tugging them on my body.

“Love, I’ll change. I promise I will change, just don’t leave me,” Calum whispers as he sees me by the door to our bed room. “I thought you love me?” Calum ask, while he moved more of the blanket onto his lap.

“Believe me Calum, I love you, but I can’t, I can’t stay in this relationship that just keeps beating me up. I love you, Calum, and just maybe we could be together again but I don’t know.” I say my voice stern like when he first saw me today.

“Love,” Calum says before looking up at me instead of the white duvet. “I will let you go.”

american beauty / american psycho lyrics meme.
  • ❝I just follow your scent.❞
  • ❝All of your flaws are aligned with this mood of mine.❞
  • ❝I didn't come for a fight but I will fight til the end.❞
  • ❝I'm gonna get you to burst just like you were a bubble.❞
  • ❝And I love the way you hurt me.❞
  • ❝I breathe you in, but honey I don't know what you're doing to me.❞
  • ❝But I'm no good, good at lip service except when they're yours, mi amore.❞
  • ❝I think I fell in love again.❞
  • ❝Maybe I just took too much cough medicine.❞
  • ❝I'm the best worst thing that hasn't happened to you yet.❞
  • ❝You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out.❞
  • ❝And you can kill me, kill me or let God sort ‘em out.❞
  • ❝I wish I dreamt in the shape of your mouth, but it's your thread count I really care about -- stay up 'til the lights go out.❞
  • ❝And as we're drifting off to sleep all those dirty thoughts of me.❞
  • ❝They were never yours to keep.❞
  • ❝We’re the things that love destroys.❞
  • ❝But you will remember me, remember me for centuries.❞
  • ❝And just one mistake is all it will take.❞
  • ❝-- no, it's nothing wrong with me.❞
  • ❝The kids are all wrong, the story's all off.❞
  • ❝The darkness that you felt I never meant for you to fix yourself.❞
  • ❝Come on, come on and let me in.❞
  • ❝And I can't stop 'til the whole world knows my name.❞
  • ❝You look so pretty, but you're gone so soon.❞
  • ❝We've been here forever.❞
  • ❝We'll go down in history.❞
  • ❝-- bad trip, I couldn’t get off.❞
  • ❝Maybe I bit off more than I could chew.❞
  • ❝I always fall from your window to the pitch black streets.❞
  • ❝And in the end I’d do it all again.❞
  • ❝I think you’re my best friend.❞
  • ❝I’m not passive, but aggressive.❞
  • ❝And it’s our time now if you want it to be.❞
  • ❝I can move mountains, I can work a miracle.❞
  • ❝She wants to dance like Uma Thurman.❞
  • ❝Bury me till I confess.❞
  • ❝And I can’t get you out of my head.❞
  • ❝And I slept in last night’s clothes and tomorrow’s dreams.❞
  • ❝They’re not quite what they seem.❞
  • ❝I got those jet pack blues.❞
  • ❝I’m the last one that you’ll ever remember.❞
  • ❝And I’m trying to find my peace of mind.❞
  • ❝The ringing in my ears gets violent.❞
  • ❝Did you ever love her? Do you know?❞
  • ❝-- or did you never want to be alone?❞
  • ❝Don’t you remember how we used to split a drink?❞
  • ❝I will always land on you like a sucker punch.❞
  • ❝I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare.❞
  • ❝If you knew, knew what the bluebirds sang at you, you would never sing along.❞
  • ❝Now I’m just numb.❞
  • ❝Don't mind me, I’m just a son of a gun.❞
  • ❝I’m just a problem that doesn’t want to be solved.❞
  • ❝I’m still afraid the battle’s gonna swallow me whole.❞
  • ❝I feel like a photo that’s been over-exposed.❞
  • ❝-- I don’t feel a thing for you.❞
  • ❝You and I were fire.❞
  • ❝It was the fourth of July.❞
  • ❝I'll be as honest as you let me.❞
  • ❝I miss your early morning company.❞
  • ❝You are my favorite 'what if'.❞
  • ❝Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean any of it.❞
  • ❝But I guess you'll never know where the bridges I have burned never led back home.❞
  • ❝Had my doubts, but I let them out.❞
  • ❝And all my thoughts of you they could heat or cool the room.❞
  • ❝And no, don't tell me you're crying.❞
  • ❝Oh, honey, you don't have to lie.❞
  • ❝I just got too lonely.❞
  • ❝I wish I'd known how much you loved me.❞
  • ❝I wish I cared enough to know.❞
  • ❝I'm sorry every song's about you.❞
  • ❝-- do you remember when we drove through the night and we danced to Rancid?❞
  • ❝You were the song stuck in my head.❞
  • ❝And I can’t, I can’t remember -- just how to forget.❞
  • ❝You asked me how I’m doing like you know -- you know how much better off I am.❞
  • ❝Every song I've ever loved played again and again and again.❞
  • ❝They say we are what we are, but we don't have to be.❞
  • ❝I'm bad behavior but I do it in the best way.❞
  • ❝I'll be the guard dog of all your fever dreams.❞
  • ❝I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass.❞
  • ❝I try to picture me without you but I can't.❞
  • ❝'Cause we could be immortals.❞
  • ❝Sometimes the only pay off for having any faith, is when it's tested again and again everyday.❞
  • ❝I'm still comparing your past to my future.❞
  • ❝It might be your wound but they're my sutures.❞
  • ❝Live with me forever now, pull the blackout curtains down, just not for long.❞
  • ❝There's a room in a hotel in New York City.❞
  • ❝I don't want to remember it all, the promises I made if you just... hold on.❞
  • ❝I just need enough of you to dull the pain.❞
  • ❝I need a new partner in crime.❞
  • ❝I wanna throw my hands in the air and scream.❞
  • ❝And I can just die laughing on your spiral of shame.❞
  • ❝Hit it, never quit it, I have been through the wreck.❞
  • ❝We're stripped down to the skeletons again.❞
  • ❝We're saints just swimming in our sins again.❞
2

@adhd-is

Hey! I’ve never posted proper photos of myself on here before, but now I’m like, #yolo, even if just for today, so here we #golo

ADHD is…

Not being diagnosed in childhood, because you did “too well” in school

Spending your teens feeling stupid as all hell, because you struggle to meet deadlines and can’t quite understand concepts in subjects that don’t 100% capture your interest (math, u lil bitch, i am lookin @ u)

Having your executive dysfunction chalked up to “laziness” because if you’re smart, you “can’t” have ADHD, so you’re obviously just unmotivated and lazy. Except if you were unmotivated and lazy, you wouldn’t have high achievement, so like, check mate, bud?

Being told that ADHD isn’t a reason for your behavior, it’s an “excuse”, and that you should just “do better” despite your brain literally not being able to

Not being told you have it until you’re 18 and struggling to function like an adult

Having trouble driving because you can’t focus, having trouble sleeping because you can’t stay still, having trouble with chores because you never remember anything

Hyperfocusing on something so hard that suddenly it’s 6 AM and you’ve ruined your sleep schedule all over again

Suffering from loads of mental health issues, overcoming literally all of them, and having your executive dysfunction still blamed on them because people just??? really love????? to use mental illness and their ableism as a scapegoat?????? instead of trying to help, and recognizing that adhd is a permanent part of you?????????? like “are you sure you’re not just depressed” yes. thank you for your opinion even though i never asked for it, but I am actually very sure, good day to you too sweetie :) :)) :)))

Not being able to make yourself shut up when you’re speaking about something you’re passionate about. Having that problem in college lectures, and hearing a few people snicker each time you talk because you’re /that girl/ who /talks too much/ and has /too many opinions/ like gawd sorry for taking up space ffs

BUT ALSO, ADHD IS…

Finally having an explanation for some of your less-loved quirks, and knowing that you’re not just lazy or stupid

Finding a whole bunch of people who get it

Being able to do amazing things when you hyper focus, getting more done than most people because you actually can’t get distracted for once

Finding outlets for your energy very early on in life, and finding them to be your favorite things in the whole world (acting, dance, music)

Being able to multitask like a pro (and also having to multitask, because when you have the tv/radio/whatever on in the background, it’s a distraction you can control, which helps a lot)

Knowing a whole ton of totally random trivia about so many different things, and a bunch of information on a few select topics, to the point that people think you’re a student in those things (example - I’ve been very physically sick this year, I like to read medical journals, and when I went in to get a CT scan a few months ago, the tech asked me if I was a medical student because of how much I know about it all)

Having a huge amount of energy when you’re doing things you like, and feeling it exponentially grow, feeling like you can take on the world

Understanding that nothing’s wrong with you. You work differently than most people, and it makes life hard, but that’s because of the world, not because of you. It’s just how we are.

anonymous asked:

Can u please do headcanons of the rfa(that includes V)+Saeran of finding out MC is a wizard (like the Harry Potter ones)? I really hope you've seen the HP movies and/or read the books for reference. Also I might need new people to fangirl with o__o

Haha, of course I’ve read the books and seen the movies, I haven’t seen the new movie yet though cause I’m broke ha


Jumin

- he doesn’t believe you at first

- “is this another one of your jokes?”

- well he believes you when you transform Elizabeth 3rd into a cup

- hafta assert your dominance as the woman in his life

- obviously you turn her back and, after the panic of watching his cat turn into a glass cup, he’s pretty amazed

- wonders if there’s any research his company can do on magic

- asks you a lot of questions whenever he thinks of them


Zen

- “me too~ a wizard of love!”

- no Zen, seriously, like I have a wand and can shoot fire out of it

- he’s really confused, wizards are actually real? But also so awed

- thinks it’s so cool and obviously you, of all people, would be a wizard

- starts calling his beast his wand

- loves watching you create sparks or little flowers


Yoosung

- mind = blown

- he is just in complete shock

- he’s always dreamed of being a wizard but thought they could only exist in LOLOL

- low-key jealous but high-key proud as hell

- starts learning card tricks and other things and is always super excited to show you

- sometimes asks if you can summon good grades for him


Jaehee

- very skeptical

- she doesn’t necessarily think you’re lying, but, a wizard? Those can’t exist

- so pull out your wand, point it at some flowers the two of you recently planted, “herbivicus!”

- she almost falls over when a daffodil promptly sprouts out of the dirt and blooms

- she asks so many questions, she is so fascinated

- wants to know everything

- eventually you start having her write down her questions throughout the day and you’ll go through and answer them during the evening


Seven

- he’s always had his suspicions that wizards existed

- just never found proof

- well now you’re living proof and he is so hyped

- on one hand, he was right, on the other, his partner is a freaking wizard how cool is that

- it’s a win-win for him

- the amount of jokes he makes about how you cast a spell to steal his heart is insane

- insists that you dress up as a wizard for halloween every year


Unknown

- thinks it’s some elaborate prank you and Seven planned out

- refuses to accept it even after you summon the remote to where you are on the couch

- believes you’re just really good with invisible strings and mirrors

- you eventually stop trying to convince him but continue using magic casually so he grows used to it

- does believe you after some time, but never openly admits it

- he’s so stubborn


V

- he’s had his share of secret societies so isn’t completely surprised

- well he’s obviously surprised when he first finds out but it makes sense to him so his shock doesn’t last long

- he’s also not surprised that you, specifically, are a wizard

- you’re perfect in every so the possession of magical powers? Duh

- he never asks, because he’d never try to extort your powers in any way, but you help with the lighting and stuff when he takes pictures

- at one point he took a series of pictures of you in your wizard clothes in a forest and they’re one of his favorite photo sets of you

Lazy Sundays

[A/N: if anyone saw last night, I think this will be the last installment of Professor Sam. Unless I somehow find the drive to want to actually write more this will be the end. I’m sorry if you really like this series. I think I’ll write more ABOs but right now I don’t know. I do have more ideas for Prof Sam and with this basically everything is left up in the air. Sorry I suck.]

Summary: You have just moved to start university and when moving into your apartment your hot neighbour helped, and he told you he was going to your university too. The only thing he didn’t mention was he was your Latin Professor.

Warnings: small smut, fluff, my shit writing

thanks to all the people who helped me with this series - sorry it’s a shit way to abandon it. @bkwrm523 thank you for reading over this for me. I’m sorry.

Originally posted by exbloodjunkie


The next morning your body felt like it was on fire, especially your ass. As you slowly moved to get up the arm around your body tightened its grip and you were pressed against a warm body. Looking up into the man’s eyes Sam chuckled down to you rubbing your tender ass hard making you whimper. As one of his hands snaked to gently rub your clit you yelped in shock,  Usually it wouldn’t be enough to get much of a reaction from you, but since he had been edging you since the start of Hannah’s wedding, your clit was swollen and sensitive. From Sam’s shit-eating smirk you could tell he knew exactly what he was doing and as he stopped just before you could come you knew you were in for a very long day.

Keep reading

Signs as Quotes from the Mindy Project
  • Aries: "I want to tell you something but my New Year's resolution was to stop calling people dicks at work."
  • Taurus: "My apartment is the only place that I feel safe right now. I have food. I have alcohol. I have 600 channels. And none of them want to hurt me."
  • Gemini: "Your secret is safe with me. Largely because I don't care, and I'll probably forget."
  • Cancer: "And when your love story ends, all you can do is cry, listen to sad music, and drink wine you bought from a gas station."
  • Leo: "My phone! That has like 8 years of photos in it. All my selfies!"
  • Virgo: "But I'll tell you something that always lasts forever. Herpes."
  • Libra: "I'm not good at saying no, okay? One time I left a flea market with a samurai sword."
  • Scorpio: "My body is very attracted to your body, but when you speak, my brain gets angry."
  • Sagittarius: "I hate it when people say girl crush. No ones going to think you're a lesbian if you just say crush."
  • Capricorn: "I'm sorry. I'm just texting so that we don't have have to make conversation."
  • Aquarius: "We're here to talk chemistry and biology and your-ologly."
  • Pisces: "People seem to have these amazing sex lives and I'm just trying to find a life partner to go apple picking with."