i think that makes it a little funnier

10

(It’s pretty long, I’m sorry.) So, @jotunvali suggested a crossover between gafou and the Little Mermaid, and of course I came up with something without actual mermaids! :D I’m truly sorry, but I think it’s funnier this way. XD (I’ll draw a mermfou sooner or later though)

Anyway, this is the first “variant”, I made another one (much shorter, with only one bonus scene after the Part of Your World animation) but my monitor is slowly dying and so I don’t know when I’m gonna finish it and post it. </3 Anyway, I hope you like it! I had so much fun making this!

4

        Mother and Father. They would have laughed. To see me all dressed up. The Bat-Man. They would’ve laughed and laughed. My father was classically dignified, my mother was classically kind. They were not people who laughed often. The world was a burden to them. A burden they bore with dignity and kindness. But once in a while. If they saw something–something particularly ridiculous…
        When I remember them, I remember them laughing. And they should laugh. Good and hard. Everyone should. It’s funny. The whole world should laugh. Do you think I don’t know? A grown man. Dressed as an animal. Sitting on a gargoyle. Waiting for crime to come. And when it comes, he’s just going to punch crime in the face. And if that grown man just punches crime hard enough, then that’ll just make everything all right. It’s funny. And what makes it funnier, what would make the whole place screaming, is that it’s not really a grown man. That’s just the mask under the mask. No. Way up there. Looking over us. Trying to save us. That’s that kid. That’s that little rich kid whose mommy and daddy got shot. And instead of mourning them properly, he got on his knees and made a vow. “I swear by the spirits of my parents to avenge their death by spending the rest of my life warring on all criminals.”
        A kid and a vow. The ears and the belt and the batarangs and the Batmobile and the gargoyle and the roof and the leather and the armor. How sad. How stupid. How immature. How hilarious. How hilarious all of it is. I want to laugh, too. Do you know how much I want to laugh?

anonymous asked:

Marry me senpai

Heh, well, I–

–oh, y’see, that’s, er–

*tidal wave strikes*

*thinks he remembers making an applicable gif before*

*searches*

*finds*

Whereas I don’t think I can accept the latest batch of figurative marriage proposals, thanks, all… you make me blush.

It’s rare praise for a geeky photographer to get, and I don’t mind bein’ eyecandy eyeScoobySnacks for the guys ‘n’ gals of the internet.

Some fans have inquired a little more seriously, and made me realize… it would be hilarious to meet a local friend (or, even funnier, future wife) due to writing a Scooby-Doo-themed humor blog.

Imagine having to explain it to people.

So, how’d you two meet?” 

Oh, y’know, the usual… I wrote jokes about ‘70s cartoons on the internet, and things just happened.”

It’d be cool to have an NC-triangle SDM meetup one day… we’d have to host it in the modern equivalent of a malt shop, though. 

It’s what Scooby would want.

There’s surely one somewhere here, Durham is the Portland of the south.

I may be an introvert, but I love meeting locals, so don’t be afraid to shoot over a message!

And as for some other ladies who’ve asked with more-romantic intentions, as much as I feel a little shy… hey, you never know.

As long as you aren’t too weirded out by a 22-year-old PR/theatre photographer who just named a camera after a Shakespearean fool… what the heck, feel free to reach out. I won’t bite!

At least, not a turkey leg with a bone. Bad for your teeth, that.

The SDM community has always been so kind and supportive over the years – even when I’m a tad shy, I’m sure you guys will continue to be <3

–Colin (art blog | instagram)

I think “I cried at the (reprise)” is the perfect summary of my life.

Just thought of the cutest little comic idea, but I still can’t draw certain poses for crap so I’m just gonna type it out:


Weiss and Yang are still hugging like three minutes later, and Raven comes out of her tent, telling them to hurry up.


YANG: Okay, I think we should go in now. My mom isn’t exactly known for her patience.


Weiss just wraps her legs around Yang’s waist, not wanting to let go.


YANG: Are you going to make me carry you inside?


WEISS: Mm-hmm.


Yang lets out a light chuckle before moving her hands to support Weiss’s weight. She carries her inside to Raven’s tent.


RAVEN: Really?


YANG: Sorry, she didn’t want to let go. You *did* try to kidnap her after all.


RAVEN: Do you really expect me to take you seriously like this?


Weiss turns her head to look at Raven, her eyes narrowing, before she unlocks her hands from Yang’s neck just long enough to flip Raven the middle finger. Yang bursts out laughing.


RAVEN: *sighs* Okay, I probably deserve that…

GOT7: their s/o hiccups when they’re full

Omg I get hiccups when I’m full but they’re super loud and disturbing and my family hates me


Mark: 

Mark would love how you got hiccups when you were done eating. He’d think they were hilariously cute and would burst out laughing every time another one shook your shoulders. He’d definitely tease you about the way you seemed to jump every time you got hiccups, but would stop if you seemed offended. 


Jaebum: 

Jaebum would also find this hilarious and a great opportunity to tease you, especially for the faces you make while hiccuping. If it went on for a long time, though, he’d start trying to help you get rid of them: he’d tell you to hold your breath and if that didn’t work, he’d try to scare you. 


Jackson:

Jackson would have the time of his life imitating how you look and sound while hiccuping every single time you did it. Be warned: it’ll be loud. I think he’d also have fun trying to get rid of your hiccups, like Jaebum, but would come up with some nonsense ‘cure’ he swears works, like doing some dance or chugging soda. 


Jinyoung: 

Jinyoung wouldn’t find it funny at first, instead wondering why you got hiccups when you were full. I think he’d definitely do some googling on the topic to make sure you weren’t sick bad idea lmfao. He’d try to get your hiccups to stop, but the longer they went on, the funnier they became in his eyes. 


Youngjae:

Youngjae would worry that something was wrong at first, but once you assured him you were okay, he’d find it really funny and cute. For some reason I see him laughing so hard at your hiccups that he gets hiccups, himself. And then the two of you are a laughing, hiccuping mess. 


BamBam: 

BamBam would find it a little too funny. He’d also love to tease you about this, probably changing your name in his phone to “Hiccups” or something. He would especially love to scare you in the name of ridding you of hiccups, but he just likes to mess around. Little shit.

Yugyeom: 

Yugyeom would laugh, but only because he thought it was adorable and omg how can you be this cute just how??? He’d also try to help you get rid of them, but wouldn’t scare you. Instead, he’d make up some competition between the two of you to see who could hold their breath the longest, hoping your hiccups would leave in the process.

things ive learned about myself since being vocal about not liking taylor swifts new single:

1. im an “annoying c**t” and a “petty little fucker”
2. im incapable of critical thinking and picking up on context clues
3. i dont understand art or symbolism
4. im not letting people have fun and enjoy themselves


like okay. i will be the first to admit that i stated some opinions like theyre facts. which is a pretty weird thing to do. my bad. that was mostly to make the posts funnier. humour isnt universal though, and isnt immune to criticism. i get it. this is me apologising for that, but actually putting the word sorry looks snappy and insincere because of the format of this post. sorry.

but fuck. i never stopped anybody from listening to it. live your life. my shitty meme posts about how taylor swift is acting like coldsteel the hedgeheg in her new video arent me telling you to stop listening to taylor swift. you can enjoy it all you want and sing* its praises

i just dont think its a good song

and that doesnt make me incapable of logical thought, or appreciating art, or a c**t, just because i dont fucking like one taylor swift song lmao what the fuck are you talking about

anyways. this is enough posts about taylor swift. im gonna be a regular blogger again now. sorry for making 200 posts about the same thing

*sing in this instance means to just kind of talk melodically, a new art medium creative genius taylor swift invented and showcased in her new single “look what you made me do”

anonymous asked:

I read ur response to that anon about Rio ur parrot and it's not that he's a chaos demon, all birds are like that!! They associate noise/uproar with happiness and fun bc that's how their socialization works!! So he's trying to play w u & have fun,& doesn't realize it is a hurtful thing he is doing!! As a fellow bird owner, a good way to get ur bird to stop doing things that hurt u (like excessive biting or screaming in ur ear) is to not respond to it which is a lot harder than it sounds (pt. 1)

Anonymous said: (pt. 2) like it takes a lot of willpower to not instinctively yell or scream aka react to what ur bird did!! But p much just disengaging with them, and putting them back on their cage or perch & leaving the immediate area when they do something bad is a great way to teach them that the certain action is not going to get favorable results of you making noise & having fun!! They repeat what they find works to make u have fun w them w/o realizing you’re not having fun!!

Anonymous said: (Pt. 3 I guess?? Just a sidenote) that’s why when I can tell my green cheek conure is getting stir crazy or is in a silly mood, I engage with her and start being loud!! That way she doesn’t start causing trouble or making a fuss!! The bird behavior thing I mentioned isn’t full-proof bc birds r chaotic deep down like u said but it works for the most part to teach them what is right and what is wrong to do to get ur attention!!

yea i know that, its just a lot easier & funnier to describe him as a chaotic screamin demon. i dont bother training him cuz i think its a fun part of his Pet Personality. like: [SCREECH] “YOURE GONNA MAKE ME DEAF, YOU ASS!” “WRAWKA WRAWKA BRAKA WRAAAAK REEEEEAAAA!!!!” “NO, FUCK YOU!its fun i like rio he’s a hell raiser

anonymous asked:

Hi Beer! I was thinking if you could give it a thought to the idea of making a design or a fanart inspired in Stiles' quote from S01E03 "No you stopped to bake it in a little werewolf oven" I love your art, your style and you are very creative, so...I leave it there :D

Say no more, anon.


Hi! Sorry for the late reply but here it is! I imagined it like those “satisfaction guaranteed” stickers on products (It was funnier in my head ;;;) I wanted to add the “little” part in the sentence but it didn’t fit the feel of the design.

Also thank you very much T v T I’m glad that you enjoy the stuff I post-–I hope this is ok haha I’ll most likely draw one more for this but we’ll see :-)) 

anonymous asked:

you said the movie was really funny and the audience laughed a lot? can you talk more about the humorous parts?

yeah hi! so there is a ton of humor sprinkled throughout. there are comedic scenes and then a lot of levity dusted over the entirety of the film, even in the most dramatic and painful scenes. like i said to the one anon who asked before, there are very few scenes where you’re only meant to be feeling one feeling (oliver looking at elio out the train window, for instance, not funny and very! fucking! upsetting!)

so much of the humor comes from the timing of the actors. timmy is REALLY funny: he uses his physicality for laughs and it works really well. armie is hysterical which is plain enough from any of his previous roles or interviews: he’s super expressive and plays exhausted/exasperated/suspicious really well. and amira and michael both have really expressive faces as well and trade a lot of little looks that are just sweet and hysterical.

i think there’s also a lot of humor in the book that gets overshadowed by all of elio’s internal bullshit, and i can’t stress how much the rest of the narrative - oliver’s emotional state, the family dynamic, and elio’s other wonderful traits - are able to shine when you’re not reading his memories but seeing them on screen. so i don’t think the film is inherently funnier than the book, but you’re able to see it from an omniscient perspective and it makes the funny parts much more visible.

idk, there are all of these little moments that now i can recall so much more easily since i’ve had some time to process the film:

when oliver and elio are hooking up for the first time, they’re in oliver’s room. earlier in the film they’ve set up that the door in that room slams because of a draft, and oliver just taps the door shut so they can have privacy and it SLAMS. elio JUMPS and collapses against the door and onto the floor in a silent scream and it’s hysterical.

that entire scene is honestly so pure and funny and erotic, it’s been described really well by other folks who have seen the film but i was watching it and my reaction was literally “i can’t wait for people to see this love scene” because it’s just so impactful and beautiful and authentic. all of the love scenes are honestly funny because they’re all exploring the silliness and levity of sex, especially for someone young. like sex in real life is awkward and it’s best when you’re with someone with whom you can laugh about the awkward moments instead of taking it so seriously, and i think having more love scenes like this in films is a super healthy precedent to set because it helps to disband this movie-driven ideal of sex as a majestic sensual serious thing.

oliver says goodbye to mr. and mrs. pearlman when he and elio board the bus for bergamo, and oliver walks to the back of the bus to wave to them as they leave. poor fucking chiara rolls up on her bike too late to say goodbye and oliver just kind of smiles and half-heartedly waves at her and it’s SO funny (this is significantly less sad because she doesn’t seem super invested in him. the way elio deals with dismissing marzia in the film is rage inducing and awful and he will definitely go to hell for treating her so badly but w/e)

there are a ton of others (the peach scene is funny until it’s heartbreaking, the night out in the alleys of bergamo is funny until it’s heartbreaking) and the entire first 20 minutes of the film are basically elio abhorring oliver which is a laugh a minute.

Astray 2/7

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Request: badboy taehyung !!! y/n likes him makes him sure of it kinda clingy he gets sick of it tells her to piss off and angsty stuff he gets jealous when y/n starts hanging out with another guy and so confesses in a cliche badboy way

Word count: 4453

A/N: I’m really sorry I’m uploading so slowly… I’ve been a rather busy and so has been my beta.. Either way I hope you like it ^^“

Taehyung was trying his best not to fall asleep as Mr. Roux explained the impact the American Independence war had on the French economy. It wasn’t that the lesson wasn’t interesting, it was, but he had gone over that topic with ___________ already and he had a pretty bad night of sleep so staying awake was really difficult. To be completely honest, if it wasn’t because he knew she was sitting right behind him he wouldn’t have even bothered, but he didn’t want her to think he didn’t care. She had been helping him a lot so he felt it’d be unfair if he didn’t do at least the minimum effort.

He had started to take notes rather diligently since the beginning of the class, but one could easily tell by looking at his notebook that he had gradually lost interest in what was being said by his teacher. If at first it almost seemed like he was able to take note of everything the teacher had said, quickly the sentences had become shorter, and towards the end of the class, not even his doodles depicted anything concrete.

The class was about to finish when Mr. Roux called out a couple of students that wouldn’t stop talking. He asked them a few questions they obviously were unable to answer.

“I mean I don’t get it. Like… so… I mean… Like you’re saying that the Americans provoked the French Revolution?”

Not being able to hide his annoyance, Taehyung couldn’t help but make a grimace, how could anyone get to such conclusion? Even without listening to the lesson?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you think Ashi died like the other Daughters or survived?

OH MAN…I’ve had my eye on Ashi since the first episode when she showed how different she was from her other sisters. In her training when they were younger, she showed happiness at the world outside, and just seemed to be presumed the weakest out of the Daughters because of this.

I can only imagine what that kind of training can do to someone, and she must have only continued on out of fear of course. Still, I knew that they just wouldn’t show this sense of reluctance in her and not bring it again, which I’m glad they did in this episode! Especially with this scene:

All the Daughters are just so confused by this act of kindness among animals. One of them even states they don’t like it, while Ashi (I assume it’s her, it’s hard to tell when they all look the same lmao) is just more less asking questions. She’s curious and I think that’s what makes her so different from them. The rest of the Daughters either see the deer as a symbol for Aku or they hate the show of affection. She even assumes watch when they settle down for the night, which I think show’s her different from the rest too because she’d rather be alone.

Now onto the fight with Jack at the end of the episode, it was interesting to see that despite Ashi being deemed the weakest, she was the last one to go down among her sisters:

She didn’t hold out for long of course, and Jack easily defeated her.

But this part sort of threw me off. Her dialogue sounded forced, “Die you worthless scum…you won’t escape Aku’s grasp yada yada” And I thought this could be to make the situation a little funnier, but she honestly didn’t sound too into it. Like the villain in a school play just reading his lines in monotonous tone. Now to answer your question: Did she die like the rest of the Daughters?

Ehh I don’t think so. The other Daughter’s were stabbed or had an injury to the head that caused them to die right away (or the one who was just launched over the edge), but Ashi just fell like her other sister. I think either she is the only survivor or the other Daughter who also fell somehow survived too. Now they were trained for anything, so it’s likely they/she survived I don’t think they would kill her off this quickly, especially since the show had already introduced her as the deviant of the Daughters (and she’s the only one with an actual name I think lmao). It’d be bad character development to just kill her off, unless it was to fuck with Jack even more (the Daughter’s were all victims of Aku as well). 

I have a feeling the show is going to bring her back to either A: Finish off Jack, or B: Help Jack (or C and Aku comes into the picture and does something to her). Overall, I really hope Ashi survived because it’d be interesting to see where the story takes her :D

anonymous asked:

i know you ship namo (nayeon + momo?) or just like it? but i'm kind of new to twice ships and i haven't seen much of namo so i was wondering if you could like describe their dynamic or why you like it or something ? thanks

*cracks knuckles* my time has come.

(Disclaimer, this isn’t about shipping, this is just my take on their dynamic and why I like it.)

Honestly, (in the kindest possible way) Momo’s a little slow - she attests to this herself, and moreover she’s extraordinarily innocent, and this is largely what defines her relationship with Nayeon.

Firstly, Momo is Nayeon’s #1 victim. No members of twice can be easily fooled by Im Nayeon, no one except Hirai Momo. (There’s an actual 4 minute video out there somewhere of Nayeon tapping Momo whilst she’s not looking and not getting caught, and Momo is utterly clueless. And let’s not forget the ice cream incident in TEPL). Whilst any other member would have probably kicked back at Nayeon’s antics by now, Momo hasn’t. I think it might’ve been Chaeyoung who once said that Momo gets teased a lot by the Twice members, she’s slow but she has a lot of humility, she takes everything on the chin and doesn’t mind being a victim if it makes the other members happy - and no one finds teasing funnier than Nayeon.

Nayeon’s a little clueless too, (the upside-down knife incident, believing her crisp packet was broken because she was holding it the wrong way up, going months using slow 3G on her phone because she forgot to switch on her data), but she’s mature in ways Momo isn’t. She’s over a year older than any of the other members, and has said before that she sees it as her responsibility to look after the youngest members - particularly Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, and I honestly believe she puts Momo in this category too, despite Momo being the third oldest. She doesn’t baby Momo like she does the maknaes, but Nayeon definitely coddles her, and whilst she’s the first to tease Momo, she’s also the first to protect her. Ever noticed how whenever Momo has an incident, (wardrobe malfunction, accident, etc.), Nayeon is the first by her side, (I can literally name five instances off the top of my head alone). This could be a coincidence, but, think back to a few weeks ago. Whilst rehearsing for TT on a poorly designed stage, Momo almost tumbled right off the side which surely would’ve left her with a bad injury had it not been for Nayeon’s quick intervention. A few days later, Nayeon revealed that she was able to get to Momo in time because she knew that Momo was close to the edge and that Momo “takes big steps” when she walks, and ran over to Momo because she thought her shout wouldn’t be heard over the music - Nayeon knew Momo would hurt herself BEFORE the girl even moved.

Furthermore, whilst she occasionally likes to faux-rebel under the influence of the likes of Jeongyeon, Momo’s naturally obedient, and I think Nayeon especially appreciates this within a group who love to ignore the authority of and mock their ‘eldest unnie’. Momo values Nayeon’s opinion higher than most, (remember when Nayeon off-handedly once said Momo would suit short hair and now Momo won’t stop talking about it), to the point where fans have taken to calling Momo “whipped” by Nayeon.

I like to compare Nayeon to Tinkerbell - she needs applause to live. In the nicest way, she’s a narcissist, she needs compliments and affirmations to survive. And what does Momo do best? (“I like you both ways” “You’re so pretty I didn’t even see the flowers”). Momo doesn’t compliment people selfishly - she doesn’t do it to receive compliments in turn, or to gain favour, it’s genuine, she probably doesn’t even really think before she says them, and that’s probably what makes her ‘flirting’ even more effective. And Nayeon adores it.

Their 'game’ is actually one of the similarities between them, next to Sana, NaMo are probably the second and third best flirts in Twice, (snake line ftw), and neither are strangers to skinship or affection. Whilst their attentions aren’t most frequently turned to each other, (like Sana to Dahyun), when they are, Nayeon and Momo have some of the best (gayest) moments in Twice history. (Remember in TEPL when Momo was giving Nayeon a massage and then just started backhugging her instead and they lay there cuddling? Iconic.) They also play really well together, I think parts of their personalities, particularly their senses of humour, are actually quite similar, (I’d vote them both Most Likely To adopt and raise a family of plushies). They both have fake maknae tendencies in different but equal rights.

Ultimately whilst they can both be slow and flirty, Nayeon’s mature and protective where Momo’s innocent and trusting, their similarities and differences compliment each other equally. That’s why I like them.


Also, one time they just skipped out on filming Twice TV3 to go on a beach date together. Just saying.

RFA: MC Is Upset At Work

I hope these are okay! I didn’t want to do these too similarly so… -Admin Phae

Yoosung:
- As soon as he sees the message he freaks a little
- You’re sad!! Help!!
- He decides to visit you as a surprise on your lunch
- He knows that you always eat at a local café so he finds you almost immediately
- It’s obvious that you’re sad so he tries his best to help
- As soon as you see him you seem less upset
- It boosts his self-esteem a little actually
- He asks what’s wrong so you explain about the Dumb Woman who held up the line and then you got blamed for it
- You clearly don’t want to talk about it that much so he tells you about his own day
- Honestly he gets so into it he ends up rambling
- It’s super adorable
- So it cheers you up pretty quickly
- When he realises what he’s doing he shuts up
- You have to assure him that it wasn’t a bother
- It’s hard to convince him that you aren’t more upset bc his day wasn’t bad
- But it’s getting to the end of your break so you can’t do much about it
- The rest of your shift goes smoothly and when you get back you make sure to try and cheer him up
- You order food and have a nice night together playing games and chatting
- He still feels guilty though
- So you cuddle!
- You both quickly forget about how bad you originally felt
- Bonus:
- He falls asleep on you and clings on for dear life
- He mumbles how much he loves you in his sleep
- Everything is good

Zen:
- You KNOW this boy gets over there asap
- As soon as he sees you he gives you the fake flower he bought on the way
- He was in a rush and the store he went into didn’t have any real ones (or he was considerate of your allergies, you decide)
- Still a very sweet gesture
- He asks you what’s wrong and you explain the whole situation
- Your boss had yelled at you for something you didn’t do
- He almost goes on a rant about just how unfair that was
- But doesn’t because talking about it right now will only make it worse
- That’s a subject for later
- So he decides on talking to you about helping him out with practising for his new role
- Because you’re so wonderful
- And helpful
- So it can only do good for him!!
- It’s quite funny when he tries to ass-kiss
- But at the same time it helps to lift your spirits
- When he runs out of compliments he reverts to talking about plans for the rest of the day
- It’s almost painful how obvious it is that he’s trying to avoid the subject of work
- But you play along
- By this point you feel much better about the whole ordeal
- But he probably still wouldn’t want to talk about it so you leave it
- He leaves and the rest of the day is somewhat bearable
- Then when you get back you’re PAMPERED™
- Honestly you’re treated like royalty by him
- Even more than usual
- You could get used this

Jaehee:
- She comes over whilst she’s on her own break
- Of course she was expecting you to be upset
- But she wasn’t expecting you to cry
- She hugs you and tries to comfort you the best she can
- When you explain it’s because of stress she gets it
- It’s easier to comfort someone who’s in a situation that you can relate to
- And stress is something that she knows all about
- She’s researched all about it because of herself so she knows all of the tips and tricks
- She tells you some of these techniques
- You tried breathing, only focusing on her
- It did help a little
- Then she took out her phone and showed you some videos
- They were of Elizabeth 3rd
- It confused you a little as to why she’d have them
- But they were mainly of her doing stupid things
- Running into mirrors
- Falling off of chairs
- Normal cat thingshe hands you
- But they were even funnier because they were of Jumin’s cat
- This epitome of elegance was being a normal cat
- You can’t help but laugh and Jaehee seems pleased with herself
- She explained that laughing releases endorphins that relieve stress a little
- You feel a lot better and when you see her later work she still tries to make you feel better
- Stress relieving drinks
- Lighthearted TV programmes
- It’s perfect

Jumin:
- You ever seen Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse??
- Y’know how Ken has those Barbie senses??
- Well Jumin has them too
- He was thinking ‘I wonder how MC is. I hope she doesn’t feel bad. Maybe I should call her.’ Just as he got your message
- He half wants to hire a helicopter or something to get there quicker
- He doesn’t dw but like
- Honestly he doesn’t even realise it’s your break
- He would’ve gone in there if it wasn’t
- He’s not in the best of moods because work upset you
- But he decides that being angry won’t solve anything and is just concerned about you
- You quickly explain everything to him and can tell that you’re holding back tears
- So he takes you home
- Why?
- Because he can
- Honey, you don’t have to do this
- He still does it
- You get back to his and he makes sure you feel overly looked after
- The entire thing is just Elizabeth 3rd who?
- You’re the main priority
- He makes sure you get everything you want
- You’re waited on hand and foot
- It’s honestly kinda excessive
- But he won’t take it no matter how much you insist you’re fine
- ‘I don’t want to think you have to work that job. I have plenty of connections….’
- He went on rambling about better jobs he could get you
- There were obviously good intentions but it wasn’t quite what you needed
- ‘I just want the best for you’
- As extra as he is he clearly cares
- You finally manage to insist that you’re okay and he settles for just cuddling with you
- If it were up to him you probably wouldn’t have to work at all…
- But this is okay for now

707:
- He will turn up even if he ends up with Vanderwood clinging to him whilst kicking and screaming
- There’s no way in hell he’s leaving you alone with that message
- He turns up and is immediately cracking jokes about how that customer was a little ott
- ‘He’d probably get along well with Vanderwood with that attitude’
- He should probably stop with the insults
- He’s convinced that he got bugged by them
- Either way he doesn’t stop until he finally sees you smile
- He ends up making an elaborate impression of him
- He gestures wildly with his hands and changes his voice to sound ‘posh’
- Which is very obviously fake
- But that makes it all the more amusing
- He won’t stop until you’re crying again
- From laughter!
- He’s happy that you’re smiling again and stays with you until your break is almost over
- He frequently checks on you for the rest of the day
- Even if it’s just a short ‘Hope you’re okay!’
- He makes sure you’ll absolutely not feel the need to be sad again today
- When you arrive back at his you’re immediately tackled to the ground
- And you can’t move because SOMEONE is hugging you too tightly
- I appreciate you and everything and this is a nice hug but-
’No. I’m not letting go.’
- You just laid like that for a few minutes
- Anyone would think that he was the upset one
- When you started to go numb was when you proposed you get out of that position
- The entire night he refuses to stop asking if you’re okay
- He’s had enough of not being honest with your emotions
- Luckily you really are okay
- Especially with him by your side

[V and Unknown under the cut]

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4

alright this got a little out of hand

under the cut is the background to this au. because fuck, it works almost too well. also, because everyone makes fun of the fact that marinette and adrien look exactly the same as their alter egos, viktor’s hair magically grows and yuri removes his glasses. you can say that the miraculous temporarily fixes his eyesight if you want, but i honestly think it’s 100x funnier if he just can’t see a fucking thing

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The more I think about it, the funnier it gets… I mean, all the time I spent exposing Hey Violet just to have them drag themselves worse than I ever could. Writing piss poor songs like Make Up, Fuqboi, Guys My Age, Brand New Moves, and Pure only proved how right I am about them. I called them out for writing horrible problematic lyrics before any of those songs existed and as if they were TRYING to prove me right, they went into the studio and wrote those horrible songs… WILLINGY!! I mean, they do it to themselves. I just thought they’d wait a little longer to show their true colors… but nope. Not only did Rena drop the bass and called it, “trying something new,” but they radically changed their sound and look. Need I mention Rena’s lame Billboard interview? Where again, through no help from me or other exposing blogs, she exposed herself again. And if you’re wondering, “how did she expose herself?” I suggest you do a quick Google search and read that interview again. It’s just funny how transparent they are and yet they have fans. It’s just so funny how quickly the stuff we said they’d be, say or do came true.

The Joker x Reader  “Spice it up”

You like to keep things sexy and interesting for Mister J. He loves to be spoiled and thinks he’s entitled to it. Is he?…

J is not a morning person. He hates it when you schedule early business meetings. He hates that you have so much energy from the second you wake up. He hates it that he wants to stay upset with you for the rest of the day and he can’t. He hates everything. A real ray of sunshine…

You hear his steps dragging on the marble floor. You are cooking breakfast wearing nothing but your pink t-shirt and black boy shorts. You turn around and there he is in all his morning glory, fresh out of the shower: one eye closed, the other half open, just enough to see where he’s going, black sweatpants really low on his hips, he didn’t even bother to pull them up (which you don’t mind), messy green hair and pouty lips. If you actually look in the dictionary to see the definition of “shitty morning”, you will find his picture there.

“Morning, Puddin,” you smile, turning back to your skillet, waiting for it to get hot so you can start cooking the eggs and bacon.

You hear a mumble that kind of sounded like a greeting.

“I’m making your favorite,” you giggle, turning around just to see him seated on his chair, arms crossed on his chest, eyes closed now. You pour some coffee in a mug and take it to him.

“Here, baby, coffee.”

“I don’t want that. I want a mocca,”  he replies with raspy, low voice, without even looking at you, kind of dozing off.

You take deep breath, keeping your cool. Thanks for telling me in advance.

You start making his mocca and in the meantime get on with the cooking too. Mister J really needs to wake up so you just insert your iphone in the speaker system and say:

“Play Zara Larson: Bad boys.” The song starts. “Lauder. Lauder,” you command.

The surround sound really kicks in and the base makes everything shake a little bit. He grunts, unhappy, until he opens his eyes and notices you shake your hips in front of the stove in your tiny little boy shorts.

“Hmmm,” he stretches a bit, finally standing up straight in his chair. He knew you would do this and was waiting for it. You always put up little shows for him when he has to wake up early. You start dancing more, shaking your booty to the rhythm and sing a bit, facing him.

“I said there’s something ‘bout the bad boys
That makes the good girls
Fall in Love”

He snickers: “Since when you’re a good girl, Princess?” Oh, wow, is that a…smile?! The end of the world is coming, brace yourselves.

You just move your lips to soundlessly utter: “RUUUDE.”

Taking a quick glance to make sure nothing is burning; you drop to the ground and seductively crawl to his chair, still maintaining the rhythm of the song. You get on your knees between his legs and plant a kiss on his abdomen, right on his smiley tattoo and also steal a quick kiss when he looks down to see what you’re doing. J tries to grab you but you back out very fast, sliding your tush on the marble.

“Awwwww, sooo slow,” you giggle when the Joker growls at you, upset he couldn’t reach you in time.

“Com’ere doll!”

“Hold on, my eggs are burning,” you laugh, going back to the stove, but still shaking your hips because you know this wakes him up. He can never figure out how you take your lingerie off unnoticed. This must be a really special talent you have. He didn’t see your arms awkwardly move or anything, but suddenly you turn around and your cute lacy bra lands in his lap. He carefully watched and you still managed to surprise him.

“Want some toast with that, Puddin?” you wink, satisfied at your little trick. It’s not really a trick, it just takes practice.

“Yes, I do,” he fully grins now, wide awake. “Pumpkin, you really know how to work your magic,” he purrs, playing with your bra. “Daddy likes it.”

“Happy to oblige, Puddin. You can call me… Hoe-dini.

He bursts out laughing. “HA,HA,HA,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha! That’s a good one, doll!

His crazy laugh makes you laugh too. Yes, he might be the Clown but you think you’re funnier. You never told him that, of course.

“Food is done” you announce, turning off the music and bringing the plates to the table.

He always eats on the chair and you always eat sitting on the table to his left, holding your plate. “Why?” you would ask. Because The Joker likes to place his phone in your lap and watch the news, this way he gets a good… view of everything he wants to see. The things you do for this man! You didn’t eat breakfast normally at the table since like…forever. If you try to sit by him like a normal person, he would create such a fuss. The bright side is that from time to time he would unconsciously caress your legs while concentrating on his phone or lean his face on your thighs while chewing on his toast and you kind of found that adorable. Yeap, you’re crazy too. Self-diagnosis, not that you’re a doctor or anything.

**************

J loves to see you dress up in fancy business suits for the morning meetings - the ones with a short skirt and a jacket. It makes you look so smart and sophisticated. He has a thing for that. In the same time, he knows how much it turns you on when he wears a tux so that’s what he is going to wear today: one of his fancy tuxes. You wouldn’t catch Frost without a suit even dead, so all three of you look very sharp heading towards the secret location for the gathering. All the other partners have been aware of what you guys expect for a very long time and since you set up the pace, they all show up in business attire too. Here you all are, the worse of the worst: a bunch of criminals planning murders, heists, kidnappings, blackmails and God knows what else looking like you are attending some big, legit corporation business meeting. Batsy would lock you all up at Arkham and throw away the key.

You always sit by J, of course, behind the Mahoney desk you two stole from the Bank of Gotham. It’s your personal favorite for many reasons. Without anyone noticing, you like to take his hand under the desk and slowly brush it up your inner thighs, then trap it in between. The Joker stays like that for a bit, but then he feels the urge to caress your skin with his thumb and that makes you squeal. Ticklish.

You start coughing a bit so it won’t look suspicious and then here comes the question:

“So what do you think, J?” someone asks.

Both of you look puzzled, completely unaware of what it was talked a minute before but you know you are the one that has to take the heat. You release your trap so Mister J can pull his hand out from between your legs. Tonight you will probably pay for distracting him.

**************

They began looking through building plans and when the Joker gets to his little pile of papers, you see his mouth going: ”Oh!” You smirk: he found it.

The Joker is intrigued: here is your skimpy little g-string right there between the sheets. He put it on you himself back at the house and you didn’t leave his sight since. You sure have an interesting talent.

“My little naughty Hoedini,” he thinks, pleased to find the present, glancing at you with a wild grin on his face. You just chew on your cheek, pretending not to notice, going over your own documentation. He then nonchalantly takes your gift and stuffs it in his tuxedo’s pocket, leaving a bit of it hang on the outside, just like it was a handkerchief.

**************

You were right: as soon as you got back home, you had to pay for distracting him at the meeting.

The Joker is already loading all the guns and his eyes follow your movements around the living room: you can barely walk, trying to put together the grenades and smoke bombs. Ah, the gratification he feels building inside his chest knowing he’s the reason for your…misfortune. Jerk!

“Why so quiet, Kitten?” he lifts his invisible eyebrows, delighted to mock you.

“Shut up, J” you mumble, trying to walk straight with your noodle legs.

“Wanna dance for me again?” he giggles.

“Leave me alone,” you pout, annoyed.

“Wanna stay home tonight and…recover?” The tone in his voice, wow, what a nerve.

“Noap, I’m going.”

“Are you mad at me?”  Arrogant! Not that he cares.

You don’t bother answering; you just take your duffle bag full of explosives and head out to go wait in the car. You hear him shout:

“You know I don’t like to be ignored! Want me to punish you again?”

“Go ahead, I’m gonna be numb for a month anyway!!” you shout back, irritated.

How it antagonizes you to hear him laugh so full of himself.

*******************
He heard the bone crack when you fell. One of the guards on the floor had the audacity to grab your leg and trip you when you passed by. You screamed in pain and the Joker lost it: he shot the man right way, plus three more around him because why not. Robbing the largest bank in Gotham should have ended without crazy events. Well, too late now.

********************

You broke your left arm in two places. J never saw you cry until that night. You really must have been in terrible pain and he felt something weird weighting on his heart. It made him miserable seeing you like that. How weird…He tried to brush away the feeling but he found it impossible.

For the past week you were mostly in bed, cast on your arm, bad mood, pain killers and all the fun stuff.

********************

The Joker gave you a piggy back ride downstairs and now you are in the kitchen, sitting in his chair while he fumbles around with things all over the counter, total chaos.

“What are you doing, Puddin?” you ask, grouchy.

“Cooking for you, Princess.”

Oh, crap, no! He’s a terrible cook. Why must you be punished again, didn’t you go through enough already?!

“So…what are you cooking?” you swallow the lump in your throat, willing to break another bone than eat what he’s making.

“Not sure,” he grumbles. That’s reassuring.

He notices the distressed look on your face and mistakes it for physical pain. He comes over to give you a kiss and then he lingers close to you lips, whispering:

“Pick your song, Pumpkin.”

You look in his blue eyes, confused.

“What?”

“Pick.Your.Song.” he emphasizes each word, winking.”And don’t tell anybody, ever! I mean it!” Is he really going to?…

“Play Madonna- Girl gone wild,” you say, opening your mouth in anticipation. The song starts on the speakers. OMFG, no way!

Mister J starts flirtatiously moving his hips to the beat, and you suddenly feel revived. He takes of his shirt and tosses it at your head. You start laughing, completely surprised by his performance. You remove the shirt, keeping it in your lap and continue to watch how he dances for you, trying to imitate what you usually do for him. It’s hilarious but in the same time he’s not too bad at all.

He’s coming towards you, crawling at your feet and he grins at you as he gets on his knees to kiss you. You let out a soft moan as you touch his lips, trying to put your arms around his neck so you can pull him closer. He backs out fast before you can hold on to him.

“You’re sooooo slow, baby doll.”

Jerk, he’s paying you back.

He grinds against you, takes off his pants, and…what’s this hanging from the side of his boxers?!

“Holy shit, Pumpkin, how did you do this?” he stops dancing, pulling out your bikini.

Hoedini strikes again.

*******************

Food is ready. You brace for the worst, trying to lift yourself on the table to your usual spot. It’s kind of hard without a hand. You feel his arms around your waist, not helping you up but placing you down on the chair.

“Here, doll, you sit.”         That’s a first.

J is the one to get on the table and sit to your left, carefully taking your casted arm and placing it on his lap so you can relax it and eat with the other hand. You feel tears forming at the corners of your eyes and you try to keep them in.

Needless to say this is the best food you ever had, even if his cooking is as terrible as expected. He showed you he cared and that’s all you wanted.

Also read - MASTERLIST :

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

Punchline.

It never fails to make me happy, that my husband thinks I am funny. Not just “ha ha you’re adorable”, but in the way where I can render him gasping for breath with tears streaming down his face Funny. And he tells people too, at every given opportunity. He’s proud of me, immensely so, and it makes my little heart sing because I was always told this would never happen.

My mother always told me that boys don’t like funny girls. They especially don’t like girls that are funnier than them. Boys don’t like a lot of things, according to my mother. They don’t like sluts but they also don’t like prudes, and they don’t marry bimbos, but they also don’t want someone too clever either. Because you’re life is supposed to be a supporting act. You can be funny, but you are part of a duo. You are the cheap laugh to his comedic genius, the assistant fluttering the feathers to distract everyone from his slight of hand.

And it makes me sad because my father—a profoundly funny man—agrees with her. Oh women can be funny of course, but not because they are quick or witty, but because they are laughable. The fact that I work hard at my craft is irrelevant, explained away by an anomaly of chance and luck, and as he so often says with an buff of his nails on his imaginary lapels, genetics—empirical proof that some men will try to take credit for whatever you do, even if their last worthy contribution was sometime post utero, but mostly prior.

A sentiment many men in my life feel the need to reiterate as they comment on my facebook with things like “wow you sure are something” or “where did you get that line from” as though it could never have come from my own pretty little head.

Which is hurtful, to say the least. Insulting as middle ground and at worst a broken record stuck on repeat for the last thirty years of my life.

So the next time you think about sending me a message that says “wow you’re really funny for a woman” I would like you to reconsider your outlook on life, and whether or not it might be better improved by first removing your head from your arse.

Voltron and Atlantis au (Spoilers to the movie btw)

I’ve heard some stuff about this and some fan art but I wanted to contribute lol (Also, you should probably see the movie in order for what I say to make sense because I ramble a lot.) This is not a fanfic thing, I just go into major detail on how I imagine it. It is basically a shitty summary of the movie but with different characters lmao. I think it is kinda interesting though.

(Keith is a lot more bad ass than Milo, I mean Milo is like a clumsy little dude. Keith has the same personality as well, Keith.)

(Lance is a lot more carefree and funnier than Kida. Like He is really chill unless something bad happens.)

Baby Lance (Kida) is a prince that is running with his parents, when his father gets chosen blah blah blah. The beginning part where it shows Atlantis and what happens to the people there.

First things first. Same as the movie, it is set in 1914. Keith (Milo) works at a museum, in the weird boiler room that Milo spends his time in. Keith wants to find Atlantis. His father (Kinda like Milo’s grandpa) told him all about Atlantis, and when his father died he felt like he needed to you know, follow in his dads footsteps and shit like that.

Nobody believes Keith and thinks that he is an idiot for even thinking that Atlantis is real, and that only makes him want to search more. When he goes to his apartment and goes to find his cat, Red, he sees a woman sitting in his living room, which in the movie she is Helga, but in this au she is Haggar or Nyma (Couldn’t really decide :/)

Nyma or Haggar takes Keith to Mr. Whitmyers mansion, where he is told to find Atlantis and that stuff. Mr. Whitmyer is oF COURSE- Coran

Keith and Coran talk about the plan and stuff like that. Then next thing you know Keith is on the ship thing. There he meets the commander, which in the movie is Rourke, but in this case he will be Zarkon. 

Then he meets Mole, which is none other than my boy Hunk . And then there is Dr. Sweet, which is Shiro because they are both strong and very dad like :)). Audrey will be Pidge. I mean the personality is sort of similar? Smol girls that are good at fighting and being cool I guess. Jebidah… I thought maybe he could be Coran, but I dunno. Whatever you think Coran would work the best with. Also, that old lady that talks into the speaker thing on the ship, I think her name is Mrs. Packard, yeah that is gonna be Prince Lotor. Don’t ask why. I just think that I would be the happiest this way.

Okay, and I know these two personalities are not the same at all… but I thought it would be really funny if Allura was the dynamite guy. I think his name is Vincenzo. I thought it was hilarious. 

And those are the characters, which I hope I am not forgetting any.

They do some boring shit- until Keith goes out of his tent one night to play around with his knife and look around the cave. He then notices that little bugs are setting things on fire, he wakes every one up, they escape with the camp in flames. When they are trying to escape, they fall off of a bridge thing. Keith gets injured, and that’s when Lance comes into the story.

Keith is bleeding, and while everyone is looking for him, Lance approaches him. He grabs his crystal and heels him. Keith sees Lance only for a moment before the others find him and Lance leaves. 

Keith and the rest follow Lance, only to find Atlantis. Lance approaches Keith, and you see, Lance thinks that Keith doesn’t know how to speak Altanian, so this is how their first convo goes.

If I were a stop light, I’d turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.” Lance says with a smirk.

“Thank you?” Keith blushes. Lance turns red too, because he did not except that to happen.

They eventually find out that Lance can also speak other languages, but they all settle on English.

Lance walks all of them through Atlantis, chatting away with Keith the whole time. They then meet Lance’s father, who is of course the King in the move. I forgot his name. Oops.

The King tells them to leave, but Zarkon and Lance somehow convinces the King to let them stay a night. 

Of course Lance and Keith then get closer, Keith finds out that Lance is like 8,000 to 9,000 years old and then responds with the fact that Lance is “Lookin’ good’ for his age.

Then the iconic swimming scene where Kida takes her skirt thing off (Lance does the same thing but more in a suggestive way because he is trying seduce Keith lmao)

And when they figure out some shit they go back above the water to Zarkon and the rest of the team waiting. They force Keith to tell them what they learned or else they would shoot Lance.

Then sneaky ol’ Zarkon and the gang go and attack the King, which pisses Shiro off because he didn’t want to hurt anyone. So Shiro decides to help heal the King instead of following Zarkon.

They go to the King, and they try to find what the heart of Atlantis is. Which was that cool rock circle thing. Zarkon, Haggar/Nyma, Lance, and Keith all go down to the heart of Atlantis. Lance has a mini little meltdown thing, and when Keith tries to help him Zarkon starts to get impatient, and commands Lance to do his magic shit thing. When Keith tries to go after him, Zarkon says “Hold on, lover boy” (One of my favorite scenes in the goddamn movie idk why).

Lance then rises into the air and does that super epic thing that Kida did in the movie, and he goes back to the ground, and scares the living shit out of all of them. Zarkon and the rest of them then lock Lance in a metal box.

As they are leaving, Keith tries to negotiate. But… Zarkon punches him. 

“I hope that you will now have enough money to open that second garage with your brother Pidge.” Keith says, defeated. He turns to Allura. “And maybe now you can open that flower shop. I am sure your family will be proud.” Allura and Pidge both look down shamefully. 

Pidge feels guilty, and goes to Keith. Allura does the same. Then Lotor gets out of the truck with a cigarette and goes “We are all gonna die”. Hunk goes with them too. 

Zarkon and Haggar/Nyma laugh because they think that they are all idoits for not going with them to get the money. Boy they were wrong. Zarkon leaves, with Lance imprisoned with them. Keith tries to run for them but is pushed down by Allura, who tells  him to wait. When Keith looks up he sees that the bridge is exploding. “Okay you can go now.” Allura informs him.

Keith goes to the King. Shiro tells him there is nothing else he can really do. When Keith talks to the King, he gets that super cool crystal that he saw Lance had. Sadly the King dies in that scene tho.

Shiro is able to convince Keith to keep going, and he does. He tells the gaurds in Atlantis how to fly those car things with their crystals, and the rest of the team learn as well. They fly after Zarkon. 

Zarkon is trying to escape, even trying to get rid of Haggar/Nyma because he wants everything to himself. They then get into a fight, which causes Haggar/Nyma to fall off of the air balloon. 

They try to get Lance and kill Zarkon, but they start to run out of time. The fights are just really messy and as much off a bad ass he is, Zarkon is stronger. Keith then loses his shit and stabs Zarkon with a crystal, causing him to turn to this stone like thing and crumble. Haggar/Nyma shoots the balloon from balloon, causing it to plummet to the ground. The team tries to get Lance, but the volcano that they happen to be fighting in was about to arrupt. Luckily they are able to get out of there and back to Atlantis, but lava is flowing towards it, causing panic.

Lance is let out of the metal box, and still in his magic daze, he floats the freakn’ sky and does some cool magic shit again. He makes these stone guard things and everything is super cool. They make a force field that protects Atlantis from the lava. Lance goes back to the ground, as him normal self, where Keith catches him. 

“Keith?” Lance hugs him.

When it’s time for the team to say goodbye, they take pictures for a memory. Keith stays in Atlantis with Lance, meanwhile everyone else goes back to America.

When Coran asks them what happend, they say that everyone besides them died.

Coran opened a letter from Keith, that talked about how he now has proof. In the letter is a crystal. Which is all that Coran needs.

THE END 

anonymous asked:

Okay I had this random thought while reading the tickling ask. What about one for each Miya twin, but their s/o tickles the wrong twin?

I love this. And I have to say it makes it a little bit funnier when you think about how they probably dyed their hair so that they could avoid that very scenario from taking place. These poor babies!

Hope you enjoy, Anon!


Miya Atsumu

  • I feel that this is already a relatively bad situation regarding this boy - because he’d probably reply with some kind of irritated comment - but imagine how much worse it would be if he’s practicing his serves! I mean, he already gets super annoyed when he messes up due to a fan cheering.
    • He’d be all in the zone and ready when he gets this really unexpected tickle under his arms. He’d surely make this strange ‘GUAH’ sound before spinning around ready to shout at whoever it was that screwed him all up.
  • OH! And then he sees them and he’d instantly confused, brows pulling together. He wouldn’t let up on the look either even when their face starts to heat up and they start sputtering apologies as they’re looking around for the twin they were originally targeting. In the middle of it all he’d just be like “WTH MAN!”
  • Man, and Osamu is just on the other side of the court staring at the interaction with that deadpan look of his. After everything is finished and they’ve already established that they got the wrong sibling Osamu would raise his hand and be all “I’m over here…” “WE KNOW.”

Miya Osamu

  • OMg, think about this boy just on the sidelines of practice, right? Taking a water break and watching the others practice blocks and stuff. And he’s mid drink and the only way that anyone knows that something even happened is due to the water that had now found itself all over the floor of the court.
  • I don’t even think he’d turn to face them right away. He probably figured it out by their laughter and knows that he’s definitely not who they think he is and just waits for them to come around to get a better look at his face.
    • Then again, they probably don’t even get a chance to do that because Atsumu is already teasing them for mixing them up. He’s got this obnoxious smile on his face which slowly starts to disappear when Osamu comments that they probably like him more than their actual boyfriend.
  • It definitely ends with Atsumu getting all protective with his them held close to his chest and arguing uselessly with his twin. I mean, they all know that it’s not true and that it was merely a mix up, but the event is definitely more drawn out than it should’ve been.