i think that i m lesbian

pastimperfection  asked:

What's so wrong with using a term for LGBT people that makes them uncomfortable? Really? If a bunch of younger lesbians decided to start calling all lesbians/wlw the "dyke community," would older lesbians who hated the word be assimilationist or would they deserve a bit more nuance and a whole lot more respect?

How young are you? Have you never been to a Dyke March? Dyke has been reclaimed since before I was born. I never identified as a dyke personally but I was never offended when a non-straight person called me one.

And hey, while I’m on the subject of queer and dyke and other such words, I think it’s obtuse, willful ignorance to pretend there’s no difference between a lesbian calling me a dyke in a friendly camaraderie way, and someone screaming it at me from the passenger side of their truck. The problem isn’t the words, it’s the intent and the delivery.

How many bullied middle school guys were called “girl” before being stuffed in a locker? How many trans men have been called “girl” to dehumanize and delegitimize them? That word was used to hurt them. But the word “girl” itself is not a slur. A queer person saying queer is never ever ever ever ever gonna have oppressive power behind it and we’re not using it as a slur.

Personally the term “gay” applied to me makes me uncomfortable but I’ve got this fucking giant tuna to fry.

rockymountainvixen  asked:

I identify as a aromantic asexual; aromantic asexuality lines up perfectly with the way I've felt all my life. The trouble is, whenever I try to explain to my mom that I didn't decide to be asexual, I'm just putting into words the way I felt all my life, she says I shouldn't rule anything out because I can't know for sure I'm an aro ace because I've never dated anyone. It hurts that she thinks this way and I know she wouldn't doubt me if I told her I was lesbian. Is there a way I can reach her?

Sometimes reaching people who don´t want it to be true is hard. I´d keep mentioning it and telling her how you feel about the topic and that you´re very serious, maybe she´s just in denial and once it settles in she´ll accept it.

Maybe if you find articles about it show it to her 

- Paula

anonymous asked:

I've been reading through a bunch of your posts on gender, and gnc women's relationship to womanhood etc, and a lot of it really resonated with me. you talk a lot about butch lesbians, so I was wondering if like, bisexual (or other non lesbian) women can be butch, or if it's a lesbian specific thing? I think I'm struggling to figure out how I feel about gender (especially wrt sexuality), but I'm sure I'm bisexual. thanks so much

“Gender nonconforming” is a term I use for gnc nonlesbians but I only use “butch” to refer to lesbians and consider it a lesbian term. But I think we share a good chunk of experiences with gnc nonlesbian women, just not all of them.

anonymous asked:

My mom was in the car with me and we were talking about my old boss and how she didn't shave her armpits and I was like "she is a hippie, she's from vermont" and she was like "she's also a lesbian" and then I was gonna correct her because she's bi, but I knew she'd be like "whatever" and I was so taken aback because I'm gay and I'm pretty femme. She thinks that only butch lesbians exist which is so annoying cause she's never gonna really believe me if I present myself in such a femme way

Ughhhh sweetheart, I’m so sorry! Femmephobia and femme invisiblity is so real. I’m sooo sorry you have to put up with this in your own family. But honey, remember that you have so much chosen family out here who sees you, loves you, honors you, and recognizes and respects you exactly as you are. I’m so proud of you for being you!!! ♡♡♡

anonymous asked:

i've been struggling with my sexual/romantic identity for a few years now. everyone close to me thinks i'm a lesbian, but i don't think i am? i literally can't tell who i'm attracted to (that might be weird). I think i MIGHT be on the ace spectrum but idk for sure??? and i don't know what my romantic orientation would be. i can't see myself ever being with a man, i hate them, can't relate to them, don't trust them. i feel like the only thing i can do is date to experiment (part 1)

buddy, this hit me like a brick wall, because i know that feel, and i know it so well. while i don’t know the details of your situation in particular, and i don’t know what would work best for you, i can tell you what i think?

i think the best way to avoid using someone like that would be to fully disclose how you feel. i’ve been on both sides of that ordeal, having been the “user” and the usee. i’m not proud of having been the “user” – things are resolved now in that regard, but it was a mistake i’m not proud i made (and i cannot emphasize enough that it was a huge mistake made by a younger, stupider me), and if i could go back in time, i would’ve taken a good look at myself and how i felt and said, straightforwardly, that i wasn’t sure what i wanted, that i like this person a lot but i’ve not had much luck with relationships in the past, so i’m just going to try things out if that’s okay. that way the person knows what they’re getting into and can decide for themselves if they’re ready to be in that position, so if it doesn’t work out for you they’re not as surprised. maybe they’ll be sad, or however they’re prone to feeling, but knowing something might be coming can take the edge off a breakup, and they’ll have consented to it. being the usee does very much suck, but if i’d known i was entering an experimental relationship with someone, it wouldn’t’ve sucked as much, or i could’ve avoided it altogether if i wasn’t comfortable with it.

of course, what you define as the best case scenario depends on you and your feelings, but it could be you’re demiromantic, like me. it takes a while for me to hit my stride in romantic relationships. the one i’m in now had a kind of regrettably rocky start, but now i wouldn’t hesitate to refer to my girlfriend as my soulmate, and the love of my life. publicly declare it, in fact, which is sort of what i’m doing now :p all that aside though, really the only way you’ll be able to discover more about that side of yourself is by experimenting. i don’t think you should be afraid to go out there and try things to see what works, but i stand by that you should make sure everyone you try things with knows what it is you’re doing. it’s unethical in any field of science to experiment and study with/on people who don’t know what they’re in for (unless that’s a part of the experiment in which case it gets complicated). you may end up deciding you’re not down for relationships at all, which is fine. you may end up with someone who you create a real, lasting romantic relationship with – just also keep in mind that good relationships are more than just feelings. you have to work, communicate clearly, solve problems, and know yourself and your partner in order to really make it work.

i’m only recently 19, but even i can say for sure that at 21, you’re still pretty young! i don’t think you need to be stressing about not having been in a relationship before. there’s nothing to be ashamed of for moving at your own pace, according to your own comfort. no one knows you, or what you feel ready for, like you do. trust your gut, and don’t measure yourself against other people your age for what they’ve done that you haven’t, because you’re an entirely different person from them, with different experiences and different levels of comfort.

so to sum it up, i don’t think it’s weird, i don’t think you’re weird. go ahead and experiment with relationships, just always be sure to clearly communicate your feelings and intentions with the people you choose to experiment with. trust me – don’t make the mistake of not doing that.

hope everything goes well, and i hope i could help somewhat!!

anonymous asked:

ugh internalised homophobia/biphobia is a bitch. i'm twenty years old and i'm only now slowly realising i like girls. i always considered myself 100% straight, but now it's all kind of rushing to the surface. i remember in the 3rd grade i had a crush on my schoolmate and i remember thinking oh god i hope im not a lesbian. i literally suppressed my memories, and yet i was never homophobic (towards other people) so it was much harder for me to see i'm actually queer.

This is actually pretty common. I personally think it’s because straight people are always talking about gay people like there’s no possibility someone gay is in the room, so even though you aren’t homophobic, the idea of being gay can feel strange. Good luck with figuring yourself out 🌹

anonymous asked:

ok but has anyone come up with trans dee headcanons??? Like it would honestly makes sense like thats why their mom was so horrible to her and praised Dennis so much for being a 'real man' and why she had such a hard time with beauty pageants bc of bigotry. (also the gang constantly makes fun of her hands and feet for being big)

trans dee is an interesting thing because i actually have seen a fair number of people talk about that headcanon before! i agree with you on pretty much everything you’ve said here, and while i don’t see trans dee as “canon” the way i see, say, lesbian dee and trans charlie as “canon,” i am really fond of trans dee.

but like….. nobody writes dee fics? like ever? and i’ll admit right now that i’m also guilty of this myself thus far but there just AREN’T a great many dee-centric fics period, much less any that deal with dee being trans. i think i’ve seen….. one? trans dee fic? and it was really really good don’t get me wrong!! but it’s still just one

god knows i have a long-ass list of things i need to do and things that i want to write in the near future but i really really do want to write some sort of trans dee fic at some point, just because it seems like nobody else is going to

anonymous asked:

I have just started dating a lesbian girl, when do you think it's a good time to tell her i'm ace?

I´d first mention asexuality to her to see her reaction to it, if the reaction is positive I´d tell her soon since you just started dating so she doesn´t think you´re gonna do the do if you don´t want that 

- Paula

anonymous asked:

Do people really think bi girls are that bad? Because I'm bi and have never had a girlfriend so it makes me nervous that one day I'll meet a girl and she won't date me just because I'm bi

In essence, no, good or reasonable people don’t think bi girls are bad at all. Why would they be? They’re just another human being therefore there’s no reason to dislike them. Unfortunately, lots of preconceived ideas and stigma come with certain groups of people. For example people also stereotype that gay boys are always very effeminate and sometimes annoying, lesbians are usually overweight with short hair and are more butch than femme and bisexuals are more likely to cheat because they can “choose from either sex”. All preconceptions are total bullshit. Yes I’m sure some people do fit these stereotypes but being bi doesn’t mean you’re more likely to do/be anything than straight/gay/lesbian/trans/a/non binary/queer people. 

I think this generation are much more open minded and liberal when it comes to stereotyping - especially those within the community so hopefully you won’t have much trouble. If you do have trouble with one girl, then she’s not right for you and you should move on to someone else who loves you for you. I have many friends who identify as lesbian who have had relationships with bisexual girls, as have I. It’s all good :)

So I was #reflecting on stuff in the shower and I’ve kind of realized I have no desire to pursue a genuinely fulfilling romantic relationship with a man. Like men have abused me and used me all my life, my partner is agender and I have not met any man that I would want to be with consciously that isn’t purely sexual. 

Ik I talk a lot about being bi and bi/lesbian solidarity and I still advocate for that but! I think I’m gonna change my desc to Lesbian and see how that fits me for a couple weeks. 

Falsettos (Act 2)
  • Falsettoland: The Gay Agenda (Destruction of the Nuclear Family)
  • About Time: Maturity? In MY Marvin? It's More Likely Than You'd Think
  • Year Of The Child: The Lesbians Are In This Song
  • Miracle Of Judaism: Did I Mention That I'm Not Gay?
  • The Baseball Game: Supportive Father Fucks Shit Up At Son's Performance
  • A Day In Falsettoland: The Other Gay Agenda (The Straights Aren't Happy But The Gays Sure Are)
  • Everyone Hates His Parents: That's In The Torah!
  • What More Can I Say?: The Real Miracle Of Judaism Is That Marvin Isn't A Dick Anymore
  • Something Bad Is Happening: Did You Forget That This Story Takes Place In The 80s? Here's Your Reminder
  • More Racquetball: None Of Us Asked For This
  • Holding To The Ground: I Don't Want To Care But We Don't Always Get What We Want
  • Days Like This: Everything Will Be Alright
  • Canceling The Bar Mitzvah: Absolutely Nothing Will Be Alright
  • Unlikely Lovers: Acceptance, Denial, and Then More Acceptance (Marvin's The Little Spoon)
  • Another Miracle Of Judaism: Hello God? It's me Jason. What The Fuck
  • Something Bad Is Happening (Reprise): *Softly But With A Lot Of Feeling* Fuck
  • You Gotta Die Sometime: Dying's Never Been So Sensual
  • Jason's Bar Mitzvah: This Boy Has So Many Parents (Let's Fix That)
  • What Would I Do: They're Old, They're Horny, And One Of Them Is Dead: A Ballad
  • Falsettoland (Reprise): Unnecessary™ (Whizzer Wins At Chess)

anonymous asked:

What do you think about a lesbian wanting to convert (to conservative Judaism)? I'm asking because that's my case, and my community is very close-minded so I try to have only male friends so they can think I'm interested in them, but I'm dying inside. I much rather to be a Jew and give up any future relationship I could have with a woman than being a gentile and yet not being accepted by G-d. Do you think I should still convert? Do you think Jews will accept me some day?

A Conservative synagogue that does not accept lesbian members is very much an anomaly in this day and age; the American branch of the movement unanimously approved same-sex marriage in 2012 (and had previously spoken against discrimination, welcomed LGBT members, and approved LGBT rabbis, although not as enthusiastically as the 2012 decision, but hey, times changed). Reform and Reconstructionist synagogues also welcome LGBT people, while the Orthodox response(s) are more complicated.

So yes, I wholeheartedly think you should pursue conversion if you feel that’s right for you, and that you will be able to find acceptance in the Jewish community. Looking back at your message, I’m not sure if you mean your local Jewish community is close-minded or your local gentile community. If it’s the latter, I would encourage you to poke around your synagogue before writing it off; I understand not wanting to out yourself to a rabbi right away, but you can check Keshet’s synagogue guide, look for inclusive language on the website, or possibly see if there are any posters or flyers at the synagogue that indicate it’s a welcoming community.

If it’s the former you mean, then I’m very sorry that’s your main connection to Judaism, because like I said, it’s not standard. But most likely you would be able at some point to move to a different community that is more welcoming, because they definitely exist. To be fair, I live in a fairly liberal area already, but my rabbi performed his first lesbian commitment ceremony in 1994. So trust me, there are Conservative Jews who would be happy to have you.

edit: also, like, I’m gay. in case that wasn’t clear. and yeah, my rabbi was totes cool with it.

anonymous asked:

Hi, so I've been thinking I'm a lesbian for a little while but I just realized I'm actually bi. Should I unfollow?

no it’s ok for you to still follow if you want to; i imagine a lot of the content is still relevant to you as a wlw. the only people i ask not to follow are p*rn blogs, terfs, bigots in general, and people who are both cis and straight :)

So i’m writing a werewolf story. it’s about a werewolf lady who realizes she’s a lesbian and dates her best friend. there’s no alpha beta omega stuff, no mate stuff, no packs, only Cool werewolves.

But! I want to fool the heterosexuals to think this IS that kind of thing. Here is the description:

“Mateless in a world where werewolves are seen as myths, Lilliana Blackmoore finds herself lost and floundering. Everything seems wrong until a man named David appears in her life…”

Does that seem ok enough for the straights to want to read it? i would like opinions, and if you’re straight your opinion would be good too

the thing is, David will give her guidence and company because he’s a werewolf too!! it’ll play out heterosexually, but then BAM it’s gay and good. thanks

anonymous asked:

Being Bi can also be difficult to accept in the real world too. Like I remember catching feels for a girl and then immediately say "Im not a lesbian because I like guys so I'm sure I'm just confused or something." Like I didn't ever really think that it was okay to like guys and girls. And I grew up in a religious house so it was v taboo. But like I can relate so much to Kellin in the way that he's figuring stuff out. I love this story! Your excellent and the story is excellent! Seriously ilysm!

You’re exactly right. And thank you so much :)

anonymous asked:

if the movie doesn't explicitly state that shes lgbt then yes it fucking does avoid it. stop pretending like that one second nothing is progress. don't praise it for something it didn't do. they could have had her SAY she's gay. they made a conscious choice not to. it's not wrong to actually say you're gay, we all know this, so why does the movie get a pass?

Okay, this is a good point, and I understand that frustration. Personally, the way I viewed the scene said it pretty plainly, as she elaborated on why she feels uncomfortable in her family. It all read queer to me and I think it was intended that way. But if others feel queer-baited by it, I don’t blame them at all. 

It can always be better. But when it comes to representation I try to see the bright spot wherever I can. Of course, I’m ace, not lesbian, so my reaction to it is going to be different and it’s up to actual wlw to decide whether or not it was good representation. 

anonymous asked:

Can you recommend LGBT TV serials (a one off episode is okay too~) or movies? As long as it's good representation. Language doesn't matter.

TV Shows: I’m watching The L Word now, it’s cute but I’m only in season one and I’m not loving the representation. It seems really biphobic and transphobic to me. I’m a lesbian so if I think it’s not good representation for bisexuals and trans then it isn’t. But most people love this show so maybe it gets better. Supergirl and Wynonna Earp both have canon lesbian couples. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The 100 have gay characters but they both killed one of them so I don’t know. But listen, Clexa is an incredible couple so it’s worth watching even though you will be in tremendous pain. And Buffy is a classic. The Fosters is another one.

Movies: My girls favorite movie is Fried Green Tomatoes but I haven’t seen it yet. Carol, Brokeback Mountain, and The Kids Are Alright are a few more movies.

Here’s a link with a bunch more: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_LGBT_characters_in_film

- Nicole

radinquisitive  asked:

what does the lesbian flag look like? i think i've only seen the pink one and one with purple and a triangle?

this is the one i mean! 

i think it looks a little bit clunky though so i personally prefer this one designed by a radfem on here (i think it was @bugblr a while ago? correct me if i’m wrong):

anonymous asked:

You are the most attractive man I have ever seen, I would fuck the fuck outta you and I am a lesbian 😍

Haha so is my girlfriend 😂 idk how I have a such a very odd track record of dating girls who identify as lesbians, but it is sort of a running joke amongst some of my friends… I don’t present very masculine maybe ?? I think I’m slightly more genderfluid than most men, which might possibly be slightly more common amongst bi men than straight ones… Idek

I think one of the biggest jokes in today’s society is the concept of “straight passing”. Like… I don’t want to look like a heterosexual, and I don’t want people to assume that I am one?? I am gay and I like girls and I’m not remotely ashamed of that?? Why is that such a hard concept for The Straights™ to grasp??