i think it's out of my system now

I have no concept of the pain scale, like…I just realized that last week I said I was in especially awful hip pain and when my pt asked to rate it I said “3”. And then this week I said I felt a lot better than last week and when she asked me to rate it I said “3”. I really don’t know what the numbers are supposed to be. I know it’s supposed to be out of ten but like. I think I rate the pain by what time of the day it is. Like “i will rate the pain I’m in at a 5 at the end of the day, so compared to what my pain level will be later, what I’m feeling right now is a 3.” I also think i rate in overall pain rather than specific pain? Like, systemically I’m at a five. Some parts will be worse or better but i just rate it all at five because that’s the average

Twisted Truth or Dare

Originally posted by tomshollandss

Series: Tom Holland Imagines

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Reader, Tom and Harrison have play dirty truth or dare 

Warning: Swearing, Sexual flirtation/actions

Word Count: 2,300

A/N: Hope you enjoy this babes.. btw I posted on my Twitter that my rest days will be Monday’s & Thursday! Also 100 more followers till I reach 2,000! 

Inspired by Naughty Girl by Queen B & Tequila :,)

[Reader’s POV]

    “Tom what’s the plan for tonight?” you ask curling your hair in the master bathroom mirror. Looking to the side to see he wasn’t even on the bed anymore. Setting the curler down on the marble counter you stand up. Ruffling the curls for a lil bit to lose them up a bit.

Where is he?

    Your phone dings making you look over at it. Seeing a snapchat notification flash across the screen. Sliding the bar to the left unlocking your phone with Touch ID. The app opens up to show a notification from Tom. Clicking it to see he was recording himself in the living room downstairs. 

    Walking out of your bathroom dressed in one of Tom’s t-shirts and some nike spanx . You were planning to go out but once you got done curling your hair you decided to just spend time with Tom. He was getting ready to take off for Chaos Walking.  He had to cut his hair and you were adjusting to see his hair shorter. 

    Heading out of the room towards the stairs,feet padding against the wood flooring. Taking each step careful cause you tend to slip every so often on the stairs. It was hard being clumsy. Hearing Tom’s voice coming from the living room, followed by laughter.

    Walking down the hallway that leads to your destination. You look at the pictures of you and Tom hung on the wall. A smile coming to your face as you look at the memories. Your hand touches the picture of Tom from when he had his curls. You did miss them but it’s hair and it will grow back.

    Turning you continue to walk to the living room. Harrison’s body comes into view as he holds a bottle of your cucumber and jalepeno vodka you recently bought. Tom gets up once he sees you enter the room, a huge smile on his face. He stumbles over to you pulling you in a hug. A gasp leaves your lips as his hands grip your ass.

“Tom!” you squeak out earning a chuckle from him. Looking up to see his cheeks pink and a silly grin on his face. 

He’s tipsy and soon to be drunk if they keep it at this rate.

“Darling c’mon and drink with me and Hazeroonie” Tom’s lips press against your forehead. He fills another bringing it over to you.

“C’mon drink up, lets play a game shall we?” a grin tugging at his lips as he takes a sip from the cup. His eyes widen making you laugh at his reaction.

“Jesus Tom, what kind of stuff does she drink?” he coughs looking between you and the cup. You quickly down the cup that was handed to you. Sticking out your tongue in a playful manner.

“I like things spicy and I love alcohol, so shut your trap and drink.. If not I’ll drink it cause that stuff isn’t cheap” getting out of Tom’s arms you make your way towards the vodka bottle. Picking it up I pour more into my cup than what he gave me the last time.

“She’s introduced me to more alcohols since we started drinking and do drinking games when we watch our shows” I raise my cup in agreeance at the many memories drinking with Tom.

“I sound like an alcoholic” I laugh out feeling a buzz coming along. The alcohol making its way through my system. There was something you loved about the feeling.

“What were you thinking of playing Haz?” Tom looks in his direction tilting his head to the side like a puppy would.

“How bout..we play Truth or Dare.. if you back out the dare you have to take a shot and if you don’t want to say the Truth question someone asks you.. You take a shot” He grins looking between you and Tom. Raising your cup agreeing but suddenly regretting seeing Tom and Harrison’s grins turn mischievous.



“Okay now that she’s on the same level as us, let’s begin” Harrison smiles sitting down on the carpeted floor.Tom pulls you next to him holding onto you,he’s so affectionate when he drinks. He presses a kiss against your cheek making you smile.

“Darlingg why don’t you go first” Tom says rubbing your hand with his thumb.

“Hmmm.. Truth or Dare Harrison?” you ask quirking up and eyebrow.


“…Have you ever had a sexual dream about me?” You could feel Tom’s hand gripping yours tighter. Harrison coughs from his drink, eyes widening from your question.

“You know this game is going to last a while.. do you want to take a shot or tell the truth?” the smirk on your face prominent. Harrison shifts nervously before making eye contact with you.

“I’ve had sexual dreams and thoughts about you” He says flinching because of Tom’s reaction. Tom was tense next to you making you look up at him.

“Seriously mate?” Tom lets go of you picking up his drink and a bottle of vodka.

“I’m trying to survive this game!” Harrison defends raising his hands up.

“Alright Tom, Truth or Dare?” Harrison asks looking over at his best mate.

“Since I’m not a pussy like you, Dare” Tom had confidence radiating off of him. Boi that’s about to be shut down real quick.

“Keep your hand on her inner thigh till your next turn but move it closer with each turn” Tom jokes how that wasn’t even a bad dare. It was definitely bad for you because alcohol and Tom touching you was your weak point. You bite your lip as Tom’s hand instantly places itself on your inner thigh. Sending a glare to a smirking Harrison, bastard.

   The questions get more intense when some of you dodge em by drinking. You were drunk now and now things could change here. Tom’s hand traveled closer and closer making your thoughts get dirty. Tessa laid down in the center of the circle, so innocent to what’s happening around her.

   Swearing went on when we Harrison dared me to strip in front of them on the stripper pole upstairs and do a dance on the pole.. Tom was upset cause you stripped down to your thong and bra. He shows his jealousy more when he gets intoxicated. Thankfully you did your makeup that night so you could look somewhat decent.

“Truth or Dare”

Truth” you hiccup out looking up at Harrison. Tom was currently in your clothes now and wearing your short Nike spanx. He looked so funny in them you couldn’t help but giggle when you looked over at him.

“How do you really feel about Tom’s hair?” Flinching from the look at the shot glass. You ran out of your vodka and were drinking Tom’s and the kind he has made you gag. It was too strong for you and you didn’t want a shot of it.

“I’m sorry baby, I like it and don’t like it.. I miss your curls especially grabbing onto them when you go down on me” you pout thinking of the last time he went down on you. Harrisons laughter fills the air at your confession.

“It’s just for this movie and I promise I’ll grow it back for you to grab onto it” Tom smiles pulling you over to him. You were in his shirt and sweatpants since the two of you swapped clothes. He puts you in his lap holding onto you.

“Darling, Truth or Dare?” Tom asks pressing kisses on your face making your eyes flutter open. Smiling up at him and poking his nose with your finger. Your action makes Tom laugh at your drunk behavior.

Dare Thomas” you slur with a smile on your face.

“Switch clothes with me and give me a lapdance while Harrison records” eyes widening at the dare he just told you. Harrison had to record?

“Why do I have to record?” Harrison groans falling onto his back letting out a long groan. He sounded like Tina from Bobs Burgers.

“That’s what you get for trying to get her to make out with you and the other time for daring her to strip on the stripper pole in the game room” Tom glares over at his groaning friend. He reaches over throwing a pillow hitting Harrison right in the crotch. Harrison lurches forward grabbing his crotch, face twisted in pain.

“Fuck, okay you twat I’ll do it” Harrison catches Tom’s phone that he tossed over to him. The two of you head towards the bathroom to change. Closing the door behind you and Tom. His back to you, looking down you see his ass hanging out. He probably has a better ass than you.

“Baby your ass was hanging out” you giggle poking his ass making him turn around.

“Bootylicious” He laughs striking a pose, he is such a goof.

   The two of you swapped clothes,now looking normal. He backs you up against the door making your breath hitch in your throat. Feeling his lips kiss your neck made you moan lightly. Tom’s lips travel up right below your ear. You could feel your heartbeat pounding harder.

“Put on a good show for me love” He whispers near your ear before exiting the bathroom. Standing in the bathroom flustered and drunk, not a fun mix.

   Composing yourself of your nerves that boiled up inside you. Pushing them away you look at your blurred self in the mirror. Fixing your hair a bit and making sure your makeup looked decent. Sighing in content you exit the bathroom. 

    Walking through the hall and seeing Tom sitting in the middle of the couch. The couch had enough space for Harrison to walk behind it if he wanted a different shot. Tom was chatting with Harrison that was adjusting the lights in the room. You guessed correctly cause he adjusted the lights behind the couch as well.

“Seriously you’re fixing the lights?” you laugh walking over to the JBL speaker Tom has. Turning on your bluetooth to sync up to it. Once it beeps you start scrolling through your songs.

“If I’m recording I’m doing it my way” Harrison defends with a chuckle. You could feel Tom’s stare burning into you.

“Plus this will give me something to watch when I’m away Angel” Tom’s nickname for you making a smile appear on your lips. He had many names for you but Darling and Angel were your favorites.

   Rolling your eyes at his comment. You knew he had to get off to something while he was away. You rather it be you than some other girl. Focusing back on your task of finding a song you head to your recently played songs. Your eyes landing on one of your favorites. 

    Bringing the speaker where Harrison was standing with Tom’s phone. Setting the speaker down and walking over to Tom holding your phone. Harrison gives you a thumbs up to start the music.The song starts playing loudly on the speaker.Tossing your phone to the side so it lands on the couch.

“Come to Daddy Angel” Tom grins patting his lap. Your cheeks tint a shade of pink from what he just said.

   Walking over to him hands lifting your shirt off letting it fall to the floor behind you. Swaying your hips as you slowly slide your shorts off. Tom’s eyes watching every movement that your body is making. His tongue flicks out and his lips press in a firm line, eyes slowly going down your body and back up. Sitting on his lap straddling him you start grinding against him slowly.

   Your fingers sliding down his chest ,feeling his abs through the shirt. A moan comes from Tom as your hips add more pressure to his growing erection. Biting your lip from the feeling of him underneath you. His head tilts back when he sees you biting your lip,he loved that.

   Tom’s hands grabbed onto your ass when you start kissing his neck. You could feel yourself getting damp from how aroused you were. His hand comes down slapping your ass hard. A moan escapes your lips from the contact. Tom groans as you go back to kissing and sucking on his neck.

“H-Harrison, you can end it ma- oh god yeah end the vi-video and maybe stay downstairs?” He lifts you up off the couch carrying you towards the stairs. He hisses when you bite the skin right at the base of his neck. Hearing the recording end and Harrison groan.

“You did that dare so you could get your dick wet didn’t you” Harrison’s tone full of annoyance. Tom stops looking over at Harrison. You press kisses to Tom’s jaw as he held you up. 

“Dude I’ve been gone for almost a month.. Of c-oh christ we’re going now” Tom not being able talk casually anymore. You tug what hair you could whining from the lack of affection he was giving you. 

    He sets you down so the two of you could go up the stairs. The two of you make your way upstairs towards the bedroom. Harrison picked up his backpack that was by the stairs.Tugging Tom along as he stumble a bit, a cheeky grin on his face.

“Tom please..” you beg when Tom turns around to look at Harrison about to leave. Kneeling on the stairs you bend down trying to get his attention. Giggling as you wiggle your ass his way looking back at him. Harrison’s eyes widen turning away from looking at you causing Tom to jump in shock. 

“Angel stop that! Not while he’s around!” Tom slaps your ass making you laugh and Tom smirk.

“I hate the both of you! I’m leaving!! LAST TIME I SUGGEST A DRINKING GAME!” Harrison shouts before slamming the door behind him. Leaving the house where the two of you had a lot of catching up to do.

anonymous asked:

I would //love// to hear any of your trans Robin headcanons! (or if you've already shared them, point me to the post?)

i think i might have shared some before but i cant remember so ill say em all anyway. they might be under my headcanons tag, but idk. in the future ill tag em trans!robin for accessibility 

- Dick was out before being orphaned ((did i pharse it like that just so i could say “Dick was out" you ask? the answer: yes. okay now its out of my system))

- He knew at a young age, and his parents loved and supported him ((i cant write supportive families but i love to hc them))

- His name and gender are legally changed, but he doesn’t know if he wants surgery

- He’s been on Lupron (puberty blocker)

- He identifies as a boy, but he doesn’t care about being masculine. He loves sparkly stuff and painting his nails

- Alfred also loves his trans grandson

- When Bruce finds out Dick is trans (after like a week of the kid living in the mansion alone) he is extremely supportive

- Bruce realizes that Dick’s school doesn’t have an LGBT group, so he gives them money to start one

- For some meetings Dr. Harleen Quinzel, a psychologist from a local clinic, teaches them important stuff about gender and sexuality, but most of the time they just hang out and talk

- Dick is the unofficial leader of the group. They all love him, and think his dad is awesome for giving them a place to be themselves

- Some kids cautiously approach Dick in the hallways. They say that they want to join the club, but they’re closeted and don’t know what to tell their parents. Dick thinks about it, and tells them to call it the Batman Club. 

- Now all the kids call it the Batman Club (and sometimes they do actually talk about batman)

- Because of this, it becomes a running joke in the club that “the B in LGBT stands for Batman”

and thats the story of how Bruce Wayne accidentally started the Batman Club

How I Got into Backyard Farming


Backyard Farming sounds crazy, so let’s try it  

What is it?

There is a movement where regular people are turning their backyards into micro farms and doing things like:

  • Growing all the salad ingredients they need for a year (minus the Russian dressing)
  • Growing 100 pounds of potatoes on a tiny patio
  • Raising a couple of chickens for meat and/or eggs
  • Raising Talapia fish to eat
  • Raising rabbits or quail for meat
  • Converting lawns into mini farms producing staple crops like corn and wheat
  • Using things like fences, walls, posts and garages to trellis things like grapes, squash, beans, and melons
  • Growing 100 pounds of garlic and selling it for $10 a pound at farmers markets
  • Raising bees and selling honey for $7 a pound at farmers markets
  • Making your own Beer, Wine, Meade, Cider or Brandy

Why this could be Awesome:

The goal here is that you do these things on your property without anyone really noticing or caring.  The goal is not to start up some “you might be a redneck if” style crazy farm on the lawn and instantly tank the neighborhood housing prices in the process.  With this project the goal is to be clandestine, or at least unnoticeable.  Do it right and neighbors will compliment how well your property looks as you bring them goodies from the garden all year long.  Other reasons this scheme could be awesome:

  • Lower your grocery bills
  • Be totally organic and chemical free
  • Potentially earn income
  • Less lawn mowing / Less using anything that runs on gas
  • Could be Fun

My Situation:

I live in a typical Cape Cod house on a quiet street in a medium sized city in Ohio.  I have neighbors very close on both sides and in the back.  In total I have about 0.3 acres of “land” which consists of a small front yard and a descent sized backyard enclosed in a chain link fence.  I have a tiny 1-car garage, a small patio, and normal guy yard tools.

Research Phase:

I went to the library and to the internet and looked up the following topics:

  • Small space / patio / container gardening
  • Permaculture / food forests / Organic Gardening
  • Homesteading /  Survivalist / Prepper (I’m not a prepper)
  • Aquaponics

Take a look at some YouTube videos on people who have backyard food forests.  Also Jeff Lawton’s videos on this topic are amazing.  I also recommend the book Gaia’s Garden and the website Permies.com

Let’s Do This:

And so when Spring rolled around I began…  The plan was to start small and incorporate little things at a time into my landscape, wait until I was used to them and make sure no one freaked out, and then slowly expand. 

Things I have Accomplished:

I’m on year three now and I think things are going relatively well.  Here’s a summary of things I have been able to do.   Note: Each topic below will have its own full post soon.

  • Toxin Free:  Gave up insecticide, commercial fertilizer and other toxins totally.
  • Compost: Created a composting system that produces about 1 pickup truck load of compost per year.
  • Waste Reduction: Generate zero yard waste.  Generate 1-2 bags of garbage per week, which is a reduction from 5 bags.  This reduction is due to composting, canning, burning paper with wood fires and using ashes in garden, reduction of processed foods purchased, etc.
  • Rainwater harvesting:  Made and Installed 2 Rain Barrels (55 gallons each), with a system to auto water the front yard with the flip of a switch using garden hose and gravity
  • Lawn Reduction:  More than half of my front yard is garden (but doesn’t look out of the ordinary at all).  Converted 1/3rd of my backyard to garden
  • Hugelkultur:  Installed about 56 feet of Hugelkultur mounds
  • Heavy Mulching: Threw down 2 dump truck loads of mulch, 3 pickup load of hay (about 40 bales) and 1 pickup load manure. 
  • Sheet Mulching: Experimented with Sheet mulching using cardboard and other materials to convert lawn to garden without digging.
  • Less Weeds: Cut weeding time down by using mulching techniques as well as chop & drop methods.  (you still get weeds, but less, and easier to pull)
  • No Dig / No till: Gave up Tilling totally.  There are many good reasons to do this. 
  • Less Mowing:  Mow only about 4-6 times a year (due to letting certain “weeds” grow into the lawn such as clover which doesn’t grow very tall).  Also, I mow the front lawn every other time with a gas free reel push mower, which saves gas and is very quiet (and a good workout).
  • Less Watering:  Cut watering in half (because of the rain barrels, a well-placed swale to slow down run-off and Hugelkultur mounds which soak up water like crazy)
  • Perennial Food:  Planted long-term plants such as 2 apple trees, 1 cherry tree, 2 blueberry bushes, 2 raspberry and 2 blackberry bushes, 10 square feet of strawberries, 2 grapevines, 8 asparagus plants.
  • Quasi Perennial Food:  Tomato patch comes back 80% every year from self seeding.  Also get a lot of self seeded greens and squash, by not picking everything.
  • Seed Starting:  Beginning to perfect a seed starting regimen that is actually starting to pay off.  Seed starting takes practice!
  • Big Crops:  Set to plant about 50 garlic plants this year.  Set to plant about 30 potato plants this year (these two plants both can be mixed into the front yard landscape).  Planted about 60 mustard green plants (also a beautiful plant)
  • Medicine:  Growing comfrey to be used for medicinal purposes as well as green manure / mulch.
  • Cool mini-Projects:  Things I have made from my backyard include Grape Juice, Vinegar, Tomato juice, Dijon Mustard, Tomato sauce, Roasted Dandelion Root coffee, Echinacea tincture, garlic braids, burn medicine, flower arrangements, and lots of delicious meals.

Things I want to Try:

There are so many things in backyard farming/ urban permaculture I still want to try. Here is my to-do list:

  • Plant way more fruit trees.  The ultimate goal of the permaculture “food forest” is basically to have tons of food growing everywhere on your property that requires little to no maintenance.  The hardest part should be picking all of the bounty.  Of course a key to this end state is to have lots of mature fruit trees that produce large quantities of high calorie foods year after year.  And even in cold Ohio, we can grow so many different kinds of fruit like cherry, apple, peach, plum, apricot and lots of berry and nut trees
  • Plant a successful cash crop.  I want to sell something at the farmers market!  I think garlic will be my first attempt because it is 100% maintenance free and 99% guaranteed to come up beautiful.  It also sells for a lot of money.  So far I have been eating mine, but each year I plant more and more.  One other nice thing is that you can space them really close together and plant them almost anywhere on the property, including right out in the front yard.  I tried to sell my mustard greens but nobody wanted them :(
  • Get bees.  Although probably not for everyone, I want bees.  There is some cost and some work involved, but you get honey, wax and increased pollination, and that is more than enough for me to want to try it.
  • Meat?  I’m not allowed to have chickens or any animal like that in my city.  Rabbits could work since they are silent and you could raise them somewhere covert and no one would know you had them.  But I don’t think I could kill and clean rabbits I raised.  I looked into pheasant and quail but same thing there.
  • Eggs? I’m not yet to the point where I’m going to defy my local laws and get a couple of chickens for egg productions, but If you are, there is a whole community on the net of covert chicken raisers.  The more hip urban cities such as St. Louis have legalized it, so do some research and go for it.  Don’t get any roosters unless you want to anger everyone within a 5 mile radius.
  • More Mulch!  Once you get into this hobby you quickly find that your soil sucks.  If you have a typical American house your soil is terrible because for the last 50 years your property has consisted of 90% grass which some guy mowed short twice a week and probably dumped mass quantities of weed and feed and other chemicals onto it.  All of the clippings were bagged and sent to the landfill and heavy rains continuously washed away any soil that happened to build up.  The fix is to throw down tons and tons of organic material like leaves, cut up weeds, hay, mulch, coffee grounds, manure, compost, etc.  But if you are a regular person with an office job you probably don’t have access to as much of this organic mulch as you need.  I’m always on the lookout on Craigslist for free manure and mulch, but it can be hard to come by.  You can grow your own, but this takes time.
  • Flowers  I got so caught up with food that I realized I didn’t plant many beautiful flowers that can serve multiple purposes.  I want them for cut flower arrangements as well as for medicinal purposes and sheer beauty.  Next year there will be flowers!
  • Edible Seeds:  I also want to get some edible seeds such as sunflower and pumpkin, yum!  Per square foot, sunflowers are one of the most productive foods you can grow, calorie wise.


“When your internet runs out so you play games and then make cool fan art for it” Bastion and Transistor are both incredible games. I wish i played these a bit more earlier but what the heck.

I’d give Bastion a 9/10 for its awesome combat system, art style and story. I’d give Transistor a 9/10 as well for its incredible Art style, Visual looks, unique combat system and story.

You should probs check them out if you haven’t. I highly recommend it.

I think I might start doing more “concept art” paintings now. It’s really fun.

so its like 1:30am but i keep thinking about summer work when im done with school and i just… really dont want to get a real ass job, thats my worst case scenario at this point given my record of experience and known options

so my question for all of you is, would you commission me for artwork? just in the hypothetical. please let me know!


shadowhunter chronicles dream cast: the blackthorns

teresa palmer as helen
jake abel as mark
cody christian as julian
charlie rowe as tiberius
ella purnell as livia
mackenzie foy as drusilla
max charles as octavian

okay so this is an appreciation post (rant lmao) for you gotta die sometime. THIS is my favorite song. i especially love the orchestrations in this song, they are so haunting and get the mood across well. like, when i even JUST hear this song come on, i get chills. also, flash back to the original version of this song, because the piano matched with stephen’s voice literally gets me so SHOOK. i literally get such a weird feeling listening to this. the song is actually a little terrifying. its really eerie too. especially when you think about being in whizzer’s situation. I JUST LOVE THIS SONG OKAY

My name

I think I’ve decided my preferred name to be Chris/Christoph.

It is super close to my name that was given to me at birth. I’ve been lingering on the name for a long time now. 

Yesterday I went to pick up my T and unfortunately my birth name is whats in the system. When I told the pharmacist my name she thought I said “Christoph” and it really sucked to have to “correct” that cuz it outed me :C

But it made me want to confirm that name as my preferred name ahhhhhhh.

I go by “Chris” at school and with friends, but its harder with family because my mom has been known as “Chris” her entire life so most of my family has expressed that its hard for them to call me that. Christoph sounds so much llike my birth name, it wont be hard for me to hear what I want to hear if my family screws up and its just easier to take the “masculine version” of the name that was given to me.

I also tried to stay closest to my birth name as I know it would be hard on my mom because she named me. I honestly don’t hate my name, I just hate that it outs me. I personally believe names shouldn’t be heavily gendered ugh

anonymous asked:

Imagine GoshiTsukki! Imagine it more! Yes! Good! Such perfect boys! Now imagine GoshiYama! Pure! Sweet! Adorable! Now... imagine GoshiTsukkiYama! Never stop thinking about these gay boys! Beautiful! Nothing better! 100/10! (i cant think of headcanons right now because it's really late and im tired but i needed to get this out of my system because Goshiki is a Good Boy™ and he deserves Tsukki's and Yamaguchi's love more than anyone else) -unnamed anon <3

Goshiki is so pure and wonderful and TsukkiYama is my absolute OTP though it’s not a rare pair so if you add anyone with these two my immediate response will be a giant thumbs up. This would be so adorable. Tsukki and Yamaguchi are already so close and it makes Goshiki super nervous cause he’s like “What if they get bored of me.. what if i’m not good enough for them?” but the two Karasuno boys make sure to show him how much they love him and Goshiki has never been happier. 


RK went on a visit tonight and although the county hasn’t called me back about moving her, they apparently told RK’s mom. RK’s mom asked RK in the middle of the visit tonight how RK felt about moving and RK had no idea what her mom was talking about.

I’m beyond livid! Seriously. Why do these people even work in the field if they can’t do their jobs?! Why are they telling the crazy mom this information knowing that she’ll tell RK before they discuss it in a thoughtful, meaningful way with RK?

Y'all, I’m beyond exhausted. I don’t have the emotional stamina for this. Tonight I had to sit down this tween who I do care deeply about and field questions like:
When am I leaving?
Where am I going?
Can I ever go back home?
Are you keeping Baby?
Are you adopting him and not me?
I don’t know the answers to any of these questions right now. I think her face looking scared/panicked/sad will be burned into my face forever. I do know this was the most unthoughtful approach I’ve seen in foster care for awhile and it makes me so glad that we are getting out. I just can’t take this any more. I don’t know if I’m too old or too emotional or too what at this point, but I just want out.

I think @jawlipops talon tracer honestly changed my life?? how is it that I’ve only just discovered talon AU!!!?? 👌👌💯

based on jawlipops design with slight changes, but I will make my own in future. just desperately needed to draw this and get it out of my system

agents-of-flarrowholockstuck-13  asked:

Hey Dave, I was just wondering how you stay so upbeat all the time. Don't you ever have a bad day at work, or a day your kids just annoy the crud out of you? Thanks for being so welcoming, and for never snapping.

I really appreciate this question, and yes I definitely do experience hard days.

I’ve mentioned a couple times in the past that I live with mild clinical depression. Thanks to medication and a loving support system (particularly my wife) I’m able to manage my symptoms pretty effectively most days.

But periodically I’ll experience days (or sometimes weeks) when those symptoms become harder to manage. I experience periods of very low motivation to do anything, I question my value, and I feel a lot of guilt from not living up to my full potential (as a father, husband, friend, employee, scoutmaster, etc.)

Fortunately I’ve learned some coping skills over the years to help me ride out those rough periods until they pass.

For example, one of those coping skills is learning to focus my energy on “riding out the storm” rather than wasting energy on trying to fix myself when my depression is on the rise. I’ve learned to recognize I’m still the same person, but my brain chemistry is out of balance. Based on past experiences and patterns, I have faith that balance will come back in its own time, so I focus on the essentials until then.

Another coping skill I’ve started to figure out is letting my support system know what’s going on. I let my wife know when I think I’m starting to have a hard time. I’ll tell my kids I have less energy than usual, so maybe we watch a show together instead of playing outside. I’ll even reach out here on Tumblr sometimes just to say, “I’m struggling with my emotions right now, and I would love it if you could spare a positive word or a corny joke.” (And I’m always grateful at the response I get when I’ve done that.)

At the same time, while I try to not hide the symptoms of my depression, the reality is that I only share a very small fraction of my life on my blog. And what I do post is usually the highlights because that’s what I enjoy posting. That’s what gets the endorphins pumping.

Even when I do write about hard or disappointing days, it’s usually because I think there’s some kind of humor or insight to extract from it to merit a post.

I guess my point (if I have a point is this. I try to be genuinely uplifting and friendly on my blog. And if people consider my content to be a source of positive energy, then I’m REALLY happy about that. But I also worry sometimes that somebody might look at what I post and get the erroneous idea that I my life is a constant series of emotional highs, and if their life isn’t then there’s something wrong with them. There’s not.

Life is a series of emotional highs and lows with a lot of rather mundane parts in between, and that’s perfectly normal. Even healthy, I’d say.

Or as Jenkin Lloyd Jones once eloquently said…

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just like people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.

Life is just like an old time rail journey…delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

I know I literally never post about Murdoch Mysteries anymore, but I needed to get a quick rant out of my system. For YEARS now I have been so sick of the fans that live in Ontario, especially Toronto or other areas Murdoch Mysteries films at, that constantly act and think that they’re better than the rest of the fans. Why? Because you’re always watching them film when they come for a visit to your town? Because you’ve met Yannick 50 times and got a picture every instance? Because one of them follows back you on Twitter? No. Sit down. Just because you happen to live close to where it all happens doesn’t make you any more wise or a bigger fan than anyone else or all knowing. Sorry!

Part 19 of EtherealOlicitySeries


“If you’re not leaving, then I’m not leaving.”

O jaana
Khoya khoya rehta hai
Dil tadap ye kehta hai
Tu hai mere jeene ki wajah
O jaana

(O beloved,
My heart stays lost
It is tormented and saying that
You are the reason I live
O beloved)


What made you love Olicity?

@olicityloyalty : Pfff, what made me fall in love with Olicity… How much time do you have? I can go on and on for hours about these two. It was just right from the start. I, as many others including Stephen Amell and every executive/writer, was completely taken with Felicity Smoak the minute she appeared on screen. There was just something about her. One of the reasons I fell in love with her is because of Oliver’s reaction to her. I had a difficult time getting into Arrow during the first season, and it got instantly better when Felicity Smoak arrived. And I think that’s what makes the love story between Oliver and Felicity so amazing. It’s unexpected, surprising and life-changing. So, I think I started shipping them from the minute they met. I fell in love with them during 1x14, when Felicity didn’t back down from Oliver after he went all growly on her. I knew this ship completely owned my ass during 2x06, when Felicity told Oliver she thought he deserves better. And they became my OTP in 2x23, after the first “I love you” ruse, that wasn’t really a ruse. And now I can’t get enough. I think their relationship, even with its flaws, is one if not the best and healthiest relationship on TV right now. They bring out the best in eachother. They make eachother happy. They are there for eachother. They provide a support system for eachother. They’re attached to eachother. They’re eachother’s peace and hope. They found themselves in eachother. They love eachother through thick and thin, through death and destruction, and that love is persistent, not fleeting. I question anyone who looks at Olicity and sees anything but a beautiful relationship. *
  • Cecil: Listeners, before we start the show today, let's have our mandatory minute of silence in honor of Earth's governing body, the Sentient Cloud. Starting now. Good, right. All hail the sentient cloud. Begin broadcast.
  • Cecil: I've just been notified that one of our listeners may have angered the Sentient Cloud by not observing the minute's silence. Now, as you all know, the cloud has banned all camera technology--hates getting its picture taken. So this'll have to be on the honor system: Will whoever made noise please go outside so they can be consumed by the Cloud?
  • Cecil: Just a heads-up that the Cloud's still waiting, listeners. I don't think that thing's gonna go away, so somebody might wanna get out there.
  • Cecil: No! No! It came in under the door! It's leeching off all my skin! Aghhhhh- [click] Excerpt there from one of our safety videos. Grisly stuff, very informative. Somebody doesn't get out there soon we're gonna have to do a lottery, because believe me, if we keep that cloud waiting much longer he's coming in under the doors, and he will leech off all of our skin