i think it's because i only have shitty videos right now

On The Adventure Zone Graphic Novel, Blue Taako, and Representation

 Yesterday, we revealed some pages for our graphic novel adaptation of the first Adventure Zone arc, and received some criticism of the direction we went with for Taako’s coloring. This artwork reveal came some months after the first reveal of some of our characters, for which we also received criticism of our three leads, all of whom were white in these initial designs. Us and the graphic novel team realized that, yes, that is extremely bad, went back to the drawing board, and had several long discussions about how to best rectify this situation, resulting in the artwork revealed yesterday.

More or less all of the criticism we’ve received centers on Taako, whose skin is a pale blue color in these designs. What we’ve heard most is disappointment that Taako is not realized in these pages as a person of color — or, to be more specific, a Latinx or explicitly Mexican character. There was concern we had failed to follow through on an opportunity to get better representation for Latinx listeners, instead opting to take a safe route, and make Taako a fantasy color without any kind of real-world connection. Much of the criticism also focuses on how that color (or, to be more specific, green skin) has anti-semitic connotations.

This conversation was happening in certain corners of our fandom long before the graphic novel art reveal took place yesterday. We’ve heard criticism from some folks over our policy of not having canonical visual representations of any of our characters — a policy that has resulted in a genuinely humbling ocean of fan art, but also some instances of in-fighting between members of the community who take umbrage with one another’s disparate interpretations of these characters. Another criticism of that policy is that it inherently does not foster good representation, and in fact represents a noncommittal way of handling racial representation on this show.

Here’s the truth of the matter: I think all of this comes from this underlying friction between where The Adventure Zone and us, its creators, were when we started doing the podcast, and where we, the show, and you, the community, are at now. 

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“love" by jack zimmermann || a zimbits fic || 3.3k

“Come in.” Bitty thanks the lord for the legitimate reprieve from the essay he’s been painfully forcing himself through all afternoon.

Jack enters, looking happier than normal. Bitty sees why immediately, and the smile that came onto his face when he saw Jack slips right back into a frown. Jack’s holding another memory card.

“I’m got some new footage,” Jack says in confirmation of Bitty’s fears.

“Jack, you’ve got to stop giving me new material.”

Jack’s smile drops at Bitty’s harsh tone, and his eyebrows draw together in a way that would be adorable if not for the circumstance and the fact Bitty is the one to make them that way. “Why?”

“Coz, honey, it’s not gonna help.” Bitty’s too exhausted to bother being embarrassed that the endearment slipped out.

Jack opens his mouth lamely. He looks down at the memory card in his hand then back to Bitty with sad eyes.

“Sit down.” Bitty gestures to his bed, thankful that he made it earlier while procrastinating. He rubs his sore eyes as Jack perches on the bed, then sighs out.

“Your assessment is to create a two-minute video based on love, yes?”

Jack nods. Bitty rubs at his eyes again, thinking of how to be honest without being hurtful.

“You’re an amazing photographer, and it comes across.” Jack picks his head up, looking hopefully at Bitty. It breaks his heart to have to continue. “But there’s no story here. There’s no love. I mean, unless your story is that you really love your camera. I can’t… I’m sorry, I can’t help you make anything out of this.”

Bitty tries to make his voice gentle. Jack turns his head away from Bitty anyway, but not quick enough that Bitty can’t see the hurt.

Bitty’s happily been helping Jack with his AV assessment after Jack asked. He gets to spend time with Jack doing something that Jack loves. But now he owes it as a friend to tell Jack the truth, even if it makes them both sad.

“Sorry, Bits,” Jack mumbles, still not looking at him.

“It’s alright.” Bitty already feels a little guilty for springing it on Jack with no warning. He crosses his arms, then realises that may come across as defensive if Jack ever looks back at him, so rests them back on his knees. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, I just want you to do well.”

Jack gives a brisk nod, but still avoids looking back at Bitty.

Bitty’s not sure what else he can do for Jack, so he simply waits.

Jack clears his throat after a moment and stands up. He looks at the memory card before putting it into a pocket.

“Thanks anyway. Sorry for interrupting your essay.”

“It’s alright,” Bitty repeats, but Jack’s already out the door.

Bitty slumps into his seat and stares at his closed door. He really didn’t mean to hurt Jack, but he didn’t think what he said would be that much of a shock either. Jack’s not ignorant to emotion, no-matter what the news articles sometimes say about him.

He swings his chair back round to stare at his essay, starting up on it again as a distraction.

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Disposable pt12

Being friends with benefits with Min Yoongi can be complicated (at best) by itself. But when you accidentally tell your family (and his boss) that the two of you are dating, things get messy. It only complicates things more when you blackmail Yoongi into pretending to date you, and neither of you can quite keep your feelings separate, no matter how much you try.

Angst, fluff, slight smut at times.

Yoongi x Reader

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13


“Oh my god, it’s you two!”

Yoongi flinched. It was bad enough trying to make small talk with everyone at the table without some random person from a different table tapping him on the shoulder and talking to him too.

“What two?” He asked. He was fairly sure he had never seen the person before, but they looked far too happy to see him to be a stranger.

“You two!” The man said, and the women he was sitting with squealed.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know?” She gushed.

“Do I want to?” Yoongi couldn’t help it, he just wanted the day to be over—not because he wanted to get you alone, or because he wanted to get to know you better (he couldn’t get to know you in front of people who thought he already knew you so well) that would be ridiculous. He was just tired.

“Yoongi, who’re your friends?” Taehyung asked, drawing the rest of the table’s attention.

“Oh, we don’t know each other.” The man said quickly, and Yoongi glanced over at you. You looked just as confused as he felt, which was no help at all.

“We saw them on youtube.” The women said happily.

“You saw who?” You said, eyes wide.

“What kind of video?” Jungkook asked suspiciously.

“I’ll show you!” The women dug her phone out of her purse, pulling up something on it before passing it over to Yoongi. “It’s trending.”

There on the screen, you and Yoongi sat at the baby grand piano playing “Heart and Soul.” Both of you were laughing, nudging each other when one made a mistake. What caught Yoongi’s attention though was the way you looked at him in the glances you sent his way. He had seen them earlier, of course, but thought they were his imagination. There was a sparkle in your eyes, and something so genuine in your smile. The worst part was how he looked back at you.

The two of you looked like the perfect couple—happy, loving, and comfortable with each other. The comments were full of people saying that they wanted a relationship like that, and asking “when are they going to get married?”

Yoongi wanted to leave. He wanted to stand up and walk out of the restaurant, his job be damned. He could catch a cab back to the airport and never see you again, delete your contact from his phone and erase you from his mind.

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art theft in the phandom

This morning I woke up to several panicked messages from friends letting me know that somebody had tweeted a drawing of mine, claimed that it was their own, and that Phil had ‘liked’ this stolen artwork on twitter:

This person not only had the gall to upload it and suggest that they’d made it, but they also criticised the way I had drawn his face and then accepted compliments from other people, as seen in this screenshot:

This drawing means a lot to me. Ready Player One has been my favourite novel for four years now, and I was thrilled when Phil first mentioned it in one of his liveshows. It’s not a particularly well-known book, and it made me so happy to hear that Phil also enjoyed it.

I spent nine hours on that drawing. Nine hours hunched over that damn graphics tablet with a cramping hand and shoulders. I constantly redrew the pose even though I suck at anatomy because I wanted it to be perfect. I worked right into the early hours of the morning because I didn’t want to stop. I was so excited. I knew that Phil would enjoy this drawing.

The only other time I’ve been noticed by Dan or Phil was in 2015, when I tweeted another artwork at Phil. He ‘liked’ it and I almost had a heart attack.  It was an incredible feeling and I wanted to feel that again.
Everybody here knows how difficult it is to be noticed by Dan and Phil. Most people never get it. I was certain that this artwork would be recognised, and I was correct. It just wasn’t in the way that I wanted it to be.

The art thief deleted the tweet after being called out (they haven’t apologised or answered any of my messages yet), and I’ve posted my drawing again in an attempt to have it rightfully credited to me. Despite my best efforts, I doubt that Phil will see it again, or, if he does, I don’t know whether he’ll act. The pride and accomplishment that I felt after completing this drawing has been marred by this shitty, talentless person with low self-esteem and weak ethics. And what happened to me isn’t an isolated incident.

Take, for example, @phantheraglama and @maddox-rider’s constant struggle with people who repost their art. Or when @arctoids and @incaseyouart discovered that their work was traced and used in Dan’s The Urge video. I was there when @pinofs found themselves in a situation similar to mine, when Dan liked a tweet from someone who traced their drawing. 

It’s not limited to ‘art’ artists either. Some of my friends, @phansdick, @insanityplaysfics and @crescendohowell have their incredible phanfiction reposted constantly. @moaninghowell, @themostfuniveverhad and @moonlitdan’s edits have been stolen and posted, too. And this isn’t everyone. These are only the people I’m aware of, and the ones who are lucky enough to have had their plight seen by others. There are many, many other artists who don’t have enough followers to be noticed, or who never get the recognition they deserve because the thief has more followers than they do, and anything they say is overshadowed by that.

After scouring through copyright and code of conduct laws for various social media, I’ve learnt that unfortunately there is nothing you can really do except report the problem and hope that staff are able to delete the offending post. Since most phan artists don’t actually legally buy a copyright, we are completely reliant on the decency of others to prevent art theft from occurring. Most of the phandom is great and works to support artists, but unfortunately, the bad eclipses the good. The ‘good’ majority is irrelevant when there are ‘bad’ people out there, doing bad things.

So how do you stop this from happening? You can’t. There are, however, ways to make it harder for people to actually steal your art, a lesson I wish I had taken to heart before this happened.

1. Put your watermark in a noticeable place and make it your username, not your actual name. Write it somewhere that has a distinctive pattern or colours that are hard to replicate so that nobody can brush over it easily.

2. Specify in your caption what you’d like done with your art. Every artist is different – some are okay with people reposting their art with credit, others aren’t. Make sure you tell people what you want, as many people repost things with the good intention of getting it more recognition. 

3. If all else (including nicely messaging them) fails, report the shit out of the person.

And to anyone who has ever stolen art, know this: Your way of getting recognised by Dan and Phil is crap. Any reblog, like, note or compliment that you get is OURS. None of that goodness is directed to you. You have done nothing but shit on the hard work and achievements of other people. You’re the scum of the phandom.

I think that Vic, from @incaseyouart, phrased it really well: It takes many years to develop a fine skill such as drawing, because to learn is to develop your style by referencing other artists and material. Tracing and reposting someone’s image, and other forms of art theft, are cheap ways of reproducing art. It is plagiarism of great effort. Not only does it steal from the original artist’s feelings of accomplishment and pride over their creation, it also discourages proper skill development. Do not repost, create. Do not steal, learn.

I hope that we can start up a discussion about art theft again. I really don’t want anyone else to go through this stressful and disheartening experience.


Update: The person has apologised and seems to regret what they’ve done. Phil also liked my post on Twitter again! Thanks to everyone who helped, and Phil for seeing the issue and fixing it :) Even though this was a win for me, unfortunately art theft is still a huge issue. Let’s not forget that.

anonymous asked:

Hey! Your blog is so great! I love to read it very much. Can I request: MC's new boss is sexualy harassing her. She can't leave her job, because it's very important to her, but don't know what to do and is afraid to ask help of RFA + V + Saeran?

Hope you like it! ^^

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONINGS OF ABUSE AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT

RFA + V and Saeran react to MC being sexualy harassed by her boss

Zen

  • You came back from work feeling like shit, even if he was tired himself, he always knew when something was off with you.
  • “How was work, babe?” “Meh, just normal… I’m going to sleep now, ok?” hmmm, not even a smile? Yes, something was definitely wrong
  • He would let you take your time,  so he went to shower, ate something and only then he went to the bedroom
  • Only to find you sobbing from crying, he ran to you. “Babe, what’s wrong?” “Zen, you’re so right… all men are wolves, all men… are…” “Hey, hey… why are you saying that now, MC?”
  • You told him about the new boss, the way he trapped you at your desk when nobody was looking… the way he looked at you, you never felt so ashamed of your own body like you were then… “You’re right, Zen, you’re right! I’m too nice to men, right? I’m the problem, they think I’m sending theses… signs and…”
  • “MC, what are you saying? This isn’t your fault at all! Don’t this to yourself… I… I don’t really think you’re too nice to everybody, you’re just… you, and if people take it on the wrong way, they’re the problem. Your boss is a fucking problem! So where do I find him to fix this problem?”
  • “Oh… oh no, Zen, please. Let’s calm down, I… he’s my superior and I don’t want to lose my job, I like my job, Zen!” “MC, I’m sorry, but I won’t let this happen. What if he does again? With you or with some of your colleagues?” he was right, today was you, who could it be tomorrow? “Okay… what do you suggest?” “I have something in mind, but you’ll have to be brave for this!”
  • Your boyfriend, having women like the biggest part of his fanbase, announced a campain on his Tripter account, asking his fans to write on a paper all the abusive and objectifying things they heard from bosses or male co-workers and post a photo, the hashtag made a huge success and he posted on his own account a photo  of you holding your own paper with what you heard.
  • His fans, being the stalkers they are, soon find out where you worked, they gave bad reviews to the company all over social media and threat boycotting the company, they would take the bad reviews once the guy was fired. And that was exactly what happened.
  • You had no idea his fans could be so supportive to you, and you made sure to thank all of them through a video he also posted. “Zen is an awesome person who wants to make all the women in his life acknowledge their own strength.  Thank you all so much!”

Yoosung

  • He was aware of this new boss being a douch, you would always trash talk the guy when you’d come home.
  • But it was mainly things related to work. But then he heard this: “And you should hear what he talked about my skirt, Yoosung! Really…” “What did he say about your skirt, MC?”
  • “Hum? Oh, something like ‘you keep coming dressed like that and I won’t take responsibility on what I’m going to do with you, foxy’ ugh… such a douch, right?”
  • Douch wasn’t really the word he was thinking, and your bluntness about that was… pretty concerning. “MC, we had a seminar at college about sexual harassment last month, you do realize that what he did to you is a crime, right?”
  • You sighed deeply. “Yes, I’m aware of it. But what can I do? He’s my boss! You know what happens with girls that make a report? They lose their job, some bosses are bad enough to make sure they never find a job on similar companies… it’s fucked up as it is, there’s nothing I can do except trying to be away, and I swear I’m trying, okay? Don’t worry!”
  • But he did worry. How could he not? You wouldn’t be able to keep the guy away forever and… oh, he didn’t even dare to imagine that, just thinking about it made his blood boil.
  • Hell hath no fury like a Yoosung protecting MC! He had to make sure you wouldn’t suffer any retaliation, so he send anonymous reports to the HR’s company telling he knew there was a potential rapist working there, and if they didn’t something about it, he would go to the press.
  • When they apparently didn’t take it seriously, he sent what he knew to some shitty tabloid, who actually accused the guy directly of being a rapist. It didn’t have any credibility, but having the company’s name associated to such a low publication like that… there is such a thing like bad publicity, indeed!
  • The guy was fired after all, Yoosung never told you that he was the responsible for it, and you never told him you knew he did that. It wasn’t really necessary keep talking about this when you’re too busy being happy.

Jaehee

  • She’s a woman too, she knows how to recognize the signs of a girl uncomfortable over something like this
  • The shame after being cat called on the street, the concerning about wearing some clothes thinking how they can be used as an excuse if something happens to you, the embarrassment, the guilty… even if it’s not your fault?
  • Jumin Han had a lot of problems about boundaries when she used to work for him, but he was always respectful and intimidating enough not to let anybody even try something with her, who knew one day she would feel bad that you hadn’t the same luck as her?
  • But you have someone even better! An amazing girlfriend who happens to be a black belt in judo and can teach you some personal defense techniques!
  • And if it wasn’t enough, maybe you should consider changing jobs? “But, Jaehee… what if I’m not good at anything else? At least I’m kinda successful there, I don’t know if I’m good enough to… start all over again…”
  • “And do you think I was 100% sure about leaving C & R and starting my own business? Of course I wasn’t, MC! But I had to take the risk…”
  • “I don’t know if I’m brave as you are, Jaehee…” “Well, a very wise woman told me once that it’s not about money, you have to pursue happiness.” “She sounds kinda naïve…” she giggled “You said that, MC!” “Oh, right… yeah, I’m pretty naïve, maybe that’s why this guy keeps coming to me…”
  • “Stop right there! It’s nothing about you, MC! This man is a jerk! And the way I see it, you are unhappy there, so get out! You’re smart, you’re talented, you will find something that suits you pretty soon.”
  • And a few weeks later, you were starting as a barista at her cafe. And you didn’t have a boss, you had a partner, how cool is that?
  • But you couldn’t stop worrying about other girls that worked there, so you made a formal complaint, endorsed by other women who worked there, most of them secretaries Jaehee kept contact with, she knew this could be useful eventually.

Jumin

  • You didn’t tell him, you were scared because you knew what kind of things he could do.
  • He would, idk, buy the company and make you president of it and the guy your secretary. Yes, this was exactly what he would do! And it would be so weird and senseless…
  • But you couldn’t control the gossip on his own company, he overheard some employees talking about that guy who used to work at C & R and got promoted at the company you were working.
  • He remembered the guy, he had to come to press telling C &R wouldn’t condone with women being disrespected and the guy was withdrawn for undetermined time, Jumin didn’t even know he quit during this time and was  already working somewhere.
  • He didn’t think nothing like this would ever happen to you, but he was curious and casually asked about it. “W-why do you ask?” your voice broke as soon as you opened your mouth.
  • “Nothing in particular… I was just curious, do you know him?” “Yeah, we’re at the same department.” “He is your co-worker, then?” “More like my boss…” Hmmm…
  • “MC, is there something I should know?” “N-no?” “MC…” how did he do that? He was collected and calm, his voice was monotone, he wasn’t doing anything rather than saying your name, yet you felt like he could see right through you…
  • “Jumin, I… I don’t want to talk about it…” you didn’t need to “As you wish, MC.”
  • The next day, you went to work and just saw the guy’s room empty. “Have you heard? He got fired and left the country. They say they found some things about him on his previous job at C & R…” one of your colleagues said, you definitely didn’t want to know what those things were.
  • Jumin made the HR department strict their criteria on hiring, he could never let a guy like this enter at his company again and treat the female employees like that. Oh, he did the same with the new company he bought, the one you worked (but no, he didn’t made you the president, much to your relief)

Saeyoung

  • You’ve been acting weird ever since you came back from work, you were quiet and he could swear he heard you crying in the shower, this was bad…
  • What could it be that bad that you wouldn’t even talk to him? He needed to know, he needed to help you!
  • He knew violating your privacy once more was wrong, but seeing you like this was breaking his heart, so he hacked your phone.
  • And what he found made him almost punch one of his precious computers, those gross texts from that guy along with a dick pic… that was awful!
  • And when he remembered this guy was the one you’ve been talking about, that weird dude who just got promoted. Saeyoung lost it!
  • “Don’t be mad at me, please, but I hacked into your phone and I saw the texts. Why didn’t you tell me?” “I… was afraid and ashamed, how would you react if I told you my boss sent me a photo of his dick?” “I would be pissed at him, not at you!” he hugged you and comforted you “I’ll make him pay!”
  • “No, Saeyoung, NO! I don’t want to lose my job!” “Hey, he won’t know it was you, don’t worry… we have to do something, MC, today it’s just a dick pic, tomorrow he can be much more direct, you know what I mean?” both of you were sick just to think about this…
  • So Saeyoung just sent the conversation to a person in a higher position than the guy, along with a threat: “If you don’t do something about this, I swear I’ll let everybody know about those contracts” and he sent a copy of what else he found.
  • Next day, the guy was fired, and you got his job. Saeyoung swore he had nothing to do with that and he had proof! He showed you the emails your superiors exchanged talking about how you should have been the one promoted at the first place.

Saeran

  • He knew something was off. You were acting as gloomy and distant a… well, himself.
  • He couldn’t ask you, he was afraid he might be invading your personal space or something like this.
  • But this was torturing him, you were coming from work sadder and sadder everyday.
  • So ironically, he invaded your personal space and followed you to work.
  • Only to find your boss touching your hair, his eyes rovering through your body, and what’s more agonizing: your uncomfortable expression.
  • He didn’t even think, he just caught himself over the guy punching him. “Saeran, stop it! Please!” you cried.
  • “Don’t you see she does not like it? Or you actually enjoy she’s not liking it, you fucking creep!?”
  • “Saeran…” your voice took him aback, he promised he would never let you see this side of him again, but just remembering your uncomfortable face made him see red… he tried to calm down.
  • “I’ll tell you what, asshole. If you don’t quit right now, I’ll make sure to erase this company from internet. I want to see what kind of business survives these days if they can’t be found on Google. Don’t think I won’t wreck this just like I did o your gross face!”
  • “Saeran, don’t do that…” “You are smart and competent enough to find another job wherever you please, MC. But I won’t let this guy stay in the same place with you, so It’s his choice…”
  • “Fuck this! You’re not even that hot, and your boyfriend is a freak! I’m out of this!” “Wise choice, and you’re half right on there, buddy. She is that hot, she is the hottest, actually, and yes, I’m a freak! A freak who will fucking whoop your ass if you don’t get the fuck out of here right now!” the dude went away, letting a trail of blood from his face.
  • “I’m sorry if I scared you now, it’s just… I can’t stay still letting someone treat you like this. I hope you don’t lose your job because of me…” “I’ll be fine as long as I have you” and you hugged him, he was so relieved you could not see him blushing right now.

V

  • He overheard a conversation between you and probably one of your co-workers.
  • “Yes, he tried to make a move on me again! Yeah, I keep telling him I have a boyfriend, but he doesn’t care, he said he’s the boss and I got to do what he says! I… I don’t know, but I’m pretty scared right now…”
  • He’s so mad, but in front of you he just smiles bluntly. So you two keep at that, both of you know something is really wrong, and just keep smiling trying not to worry each other.
  • But he won’t stay still knowing something bad can happen to you anytime. However, he’s really smooth.
  • So when he stopped by your work to bring you lunch, everybody liked him, even your boss, who invited him to a drink at his office.
  • “You’re the only man in your department, I suppose…” “Yeah, but it’s not as great as it looks, most of these girls are ugly, and the only decent one is pretty dumb, but hey, these are the best type, right?”
  • “I wouldn’t know, I can’t really see.” “Oh, sorry, dude. But yeah, there’s a girl here who’s very hot, but she plays hard to get, you know? It’s only a matter of time, wait and see.”
  • “I already told you I can’t really see.” His voice was low. “But there’s something here you don’t really need eyes to see. That very hot girl is not into you and she has a boyfriend, and you are a sexist jerk who’ll step away from her and from any other girl who works here if you know what’s best for you.”
  • “Or what?” V moved fast, placing his cane against the guy’s balls “Or else I’ll destroy these, since they are the only thing that you can count on to feel superior. Don’t test me.” And he got out of the office, letting the guy squirm in pain.
  • You never knew what made the guy finally back away, but deep inside you knew it had something to do with that day. He never denied or confirmed either.
GOT7 As Boyfriends

So I just randomly started thinking about what the guys would be like as boyfriends and specifically Jinyoung for some reason and I’m kind of feeling shitty right now so I’m gonna share what I think he’d be like as a boyfriend. He’d be the kind of boyfriend that never forgets an important date. That doesn’t mean that you’re forgetful or anything he’s just more on top of it than you are. Your mom’s birthday? He’s already got a gift picked out and you two are going over to your parents for her party. He knows down to the exact minute when you guys started dating. He even had that etched into a necklace charm he gave you. All of the guys are boyfriend goals but jinyoung would go above and beyond that. You had a long day at work? Dinners on the table when you get home. Your private life would be completely different from your public life though. He’s not big on PDA but he’d lavish you with kisses and hugs when you two are alone. He’d catch you by surprise though and hug you from behind andtrail kisses against the nape of your neck and then flit away like nothing happened. At the end of the day though he wouldn’t go to bed until he was sure you were going to bed too because sleep is important. He’s the kind of sleeper that would have to constantly be touching you while sleeping. Doesn’t matter of its just his arm slung over your body or one of his legs in touching you’re when it comes to sleep he’s all about constant contact. 

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okay, hi. it’s me—the annoyance in this fandom. and i’d like to talk about something, so bear with me.

there’s a problem in this fandom that doesn’t need to be discussed. why not? it’s not up for discussion, basically. it’s up to you all to sit back and learn that this shit you all are pulling needs to be stopped. period.

i’m breaking it up to a couple of core parts so you all know what i’m talking about.

first of all, let’s talk about the islamophobia and racism in this fandom.

here’s the deal: shut up and listen. is that too hard? then just shut up and close your browser. delete your blog. take a walk. go on with your shitty life.

i don’t know why this needs to be explained—seriously. i don’t understand it. it’s not physics or the study of runes. it’s the basic thing called logic thinking and common decency at the least.

you’re all doing something incredibly harmful and it’s not okay. when you started calling a brown character a rat i—i thought it was a joke. and when it was pointed out it’s racist, by people of colour in this fandom, you kept doing it. why? do you take enjoyment in calling brown people rats? do you think you can get away with it? guess you can, but you can stop doing it to people of colour. it’s disgusting.

next. the idea of this season is: please don’t let me be misunderstood. the reverse of this? please don’t let me be understood. just so we’re clear. there’s no reverse. the song was in reverse, the message was clear. so you can shut up about that.

so when the fight broke up, and sana was hiding in the bathroom stall, what did we hear? the two white random, irrelevant white girls talking about how they thought (assumed, didn’t know but talked anyway) it was about homosexuality, and how muslims are homophobic. was it there for the lols? no. it was there for us. to know. that it wasn’t about that.

my point: shut the fuck up about it. it’s tiresome, getting old, it’s toxic. if you keep talking about this, you’re spreading harmful messages to others. what messages? that muslims are homophobic. which they can be, i’m not saying some aren’t. i’m saying that that’s not the point of this season and that non-muslims are equally likely to be homophobic. don’t believe me? wow, i guess it’s something that has been fed to you by media representation and… dare i say it? people talking shit of shit they don’t know on social platforms. precisely what you’re doing right now.

second thing we need to talk about: the series. yes! let’s talk about what content we have right now and why us people of colour and why muslims are upset, shall we? (note: we have all the right to be upset.)

let’s first get this out of the way: we know it’s written this way to prove some point later on in the season. probably something along the lines of muslim and brown boys not all being homophobic and shit. you know. that thing you keep shutting your eyes from. we understand that, we know that.

we’re just. not. happy. about how it’s written. it’s kind of doing a lot of damage right now. look at some of the messages some people (people of colour, muslims, muslim people of colour) receive. and what we should be getting is much more healthy scenes between muslims, muslims and people of non-faith, people of colour and white people, to weigh up to the damage its doing. we don’t get that much of that. and it’s frustrating, because we understand why (sana’s lonely) but there are so many ways to portray loneliness than completely erase healthy interactions between people on the fucking screen.

don’t bring up the hei briskeby videos, because they don’t count. i’m talking about the real episodes here. the real clips. the clips that the casual viewer will watch.

so yes. the series itself is… partially at fault here. the writing, i would say. especially filming only the people of colour in a fight and—wow. that chokehold they had on the only black guy? yikes.

what’s worse is that they surely know—or at least have a slight idea—of what outbreak their clips will give. and they keep doing it. keep feeding this shit to us, and leave us to either deal with it, or completely shut down our inboxes. which results into people thinking we’re selfish, because we don’t answer their wish to learn more about culture and islam and the experiences people of colour have.

third thing we need to talk about: vilde and noora. yup. i’m putting them on the agenda.

i, as a lesbian of colour, wholeheartedly believe that vilde’s character is poorly written this season. she’s obviously not too different from earlier seasons, but she’s definitely had more emphasis on her ignorance, and how that ignorance is dealt with is—less acceptable. i do believe, on top of that, that she will be “redeemed” (i’m just not sure i’ll buy into it) and that she will learn, apologise and maybe grow the last episode or something, since we won’t be getting any more.

but what bugs me the most about the way they’re writing her this season is that, she’s coded as possibly lesbian (or bi, if you prefer, but i’m gonna talk about her being lesbian, and you can make your own post about her being bisexual). and she’s literally the only character fully coded this way. if you’re interested in why, just… google it. believe it or not, we aren’t google. but the key point is that she is doing a lot of what us lesbians perceive as compulsory heterosexuality. and they completely villainised a potential lesbian this season which is just falling into the same shit people have done over and over again. lesbians are bad, lesbians are racist, lesbians are this and fucking that and that pisses me off. if, by the off chance, she eventually is canonically declared as lesbian, i’m not sure i will rejoice or throw my phone through my computer screen. they ruined her character to me, they ruined a (coded) lesbian to me, a lesbian, simply because they wanted to put her to be the ignorant girl who keeps shitting all over sana.

and noora. man. i’m not too mad about noora as a character herself. she’s flawed, she has her good moments and shit. but she takes up so much of her own storyline from sana’s. it’s a mess. she’s talking about herself, her problems with dickhelm, and sure, that’s what friends do—talk about what bothers you. but we’re so frustrated that she’s once again on the screen, talking about the same old thing, and rip the minutes that could’ve been spent on sana from our hands.

don’t get me wrong. we all know that sana is a listener. but there’s a line. and they jump over it, time and time again.

and then there’s the misogyny in this fandom that needs to be addressed. and this is a harder one, because it’s hard to spot.

during the course of season three—up to this day, i see this shit—people keep shitting on sonja and emma for no other reason than them being girls who got hurt in the process. sonja? remember her? she got cheated on. and while even kept saying he felt controlled by her you somehow got the idea that she’s toxic. she isn’t. a toxic relationship would not end with isak thanking sonja for the help she’s given. she knows even and—well, at the most, she might have been a bit controlling because she doesn’t understand that even is his own person with or without his bipolar disorder.

and emma? she outed isak, which is fucked up and there’s no excuse. but stop thinking she’s the absolute villain to isak’s life because she’s a girl, who got hurt, in the process. accept that, move on, because isak sure did.

you thought i’d end there? really? nope. ain’t gonna happen. i’m gonna bring up vilde specifically again.

you think she’s just a dumb ignorant islamophobe? partially true. she’s islamophobic and is not a good friend to sana. she’s ignorant, yes. but you’re reducing her character to something she isn’t. you’re reducing her to the blonde dumb girl, which is just as shitty as people defending her islamophobic behaviour. her islamophobia does not correlate to her dealing with whatever she’s dealing with (compulsory heterosexuality, if you will), but if you reduce her to a two-dimensional character it’s quite misogynistic itself. if you’re woman and doing that—check yourself in the mirror.

same goes for noora, basically, but i don’t think anyone is genuinely despising her for anything else than the shitty line here and there and the serious screentime she’s clocking.

we also had a run in with the lovely subjects of biphobia and ableism too. you all can’t stop anywhere, can you?

since we aren’t discussing, let me just point out these things:

bisexuality does not equate to cheater. a cheater can be of any sexuality. the stereotype is that bisexual people are cheaters is harmful and it ends here. whether a bisexual person/character has cheated can be discussed without bringing in their bisexuality to the conversation.

and mental illness… it seems it’s harder for you to grasp this part. so let me put it this way: think of the most embarrassing shit you’ve done. called your teacher mum and everyone laughed? peed yourself in public? pretended to talk on the phone and your phone ended up ringing? whatever. the most embarrassing shit you’ve done. think of that. feel what you felt at that point. oh my god, what did people think of you?

do you want your crush or your partner of a few months know… that? say it involved a second person. say you… shat yourself on your best friend’s expensive, newly bought couch, felt so embarrassed you left the house and deleted all your social media and never answered their calls.

say your partner brings them up.

would you… tell them that?

i don’t mean to trivialise mental illness here (i’m struggling with my own). it’s much more complex (guilt, self-blaming, embarrassment, sadness) than what i’m saying here. i’m just breaking it down to a point where hopefully even the most abled person can understand.

you’re expecting someone who deals with this every day to just tell their partner. it’s not that easy. it’s a lot of compartmentalising that needs to be done, so you can tell that story without breaking down completely. what happened to even broke him enough to switch to a new school. that’s not something you just tell someone, regardless if you’re together with them, without having thought it through for weeks—even months—and analysed each possible turnout and reaction. that’s not something you tell someone unless you really, really, really need to.

that’s not to say that it’s… bad. that even and sana weren’t honest with isak from the start. but it’s what it is. even isn’t perfect. sana isn’t perfect. isak isn’t perfect. none of these characters are completely perfect. why not? because they’re supposed to be realistic, human and resound to us. we’re supposed to be able to relate to them, in a way.

lastly, but most importantly: stop thinking you’re so bloody entitled to send shitty asks to people, especially the muslims, people of colour and disabled people of this fandom.

now that i’ve said my piece, kindly don’t find your way into my inbox and think it’s time to discuss. as i said, it’s not up for discussion.

don’t understand what i’m talking about? congratulations, you just won the prize: read this post again until you get it.

peace the fuck out.

re·al·i·za·tion

noun

The moment of sudden clarity when feelings are finally recognized, or are made aware for the first time.

Originally posted by bangtannoonas


It hit you one Friday night when you received and drunkenly read a text message while leaving the bar at the wee hours of the morning. It was Valentine’s Day, more affectionately known as Single Awareness Day, and your friends had dragged you to go out with them because sitting alone in your apartment doing nothing just seemed “too pathetic.” You, on the other hand, didn’t mind the idea of treating yourself to some wine and Netflix at home, but they obviously thought otherwise. 

“Even Yoongi’s going out tonight,” One of your friend’s stressed, hoping that bringing up your older brother would help convince you in some way, “He and Jimin and the others are single but you don’t see them staying at home tonight doing nothing.”

That did the trick.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Are you alright? Lately it's seems like you're under a lot of pressure and stress, and I just hope there's some good in your life and that you're okay and taking care of yourself

It’s been pretty rough, that’s true. Right now I am leading a really unhealthy, stressful life. I don’t sleep enough, I don’t eat enough (I don’t even have real comfort food anymore. And that’s super shitty) and I don’t relax enough. But I think it’s getting better now. I try to take some time just for myself and do stuff I really enjoy. Without pressure and stress. It’s hard, because for some reason I end up stressing about everything, but then I remind myself that I don’t have to be stressed when I’m playing video games and that it’s okay if some things don’t work out for the first few times. 

I need to learn how to enjoy things like drawing again. I see myself only drawing for the sake of others lately and it frustrates me. I just hope after this semester it gets better. After that I can choose my major and then I go to illustration and I can finally do what I want. Bye bye product design!

So I’m making this post to talk about the good things that BigHit does in this time of lines and screen time feud. BigHit entertainment is one of the best and least restrictive companies I have come to know. Since BTS are their only artists, the amount of freedom and close knit management they get is amazing.

There is no dungeon that the boys can disappear into, and there is constantly new content for the fans. Sure there are some things that happen that we nor the boys like, but then they are dealt with. Yoongi complained about his scalp, and BigHit relented, allowing him to stay dark for the past couple of comebacks.

They also allow the boys to use expensive equipment write and produce their own music to release as non monetized mixtapes or song covers. They even fully funded the MVs given to both Yoongi and Nams for their mixtapes, and that is something they didn’t have to do.

The boys are given the best produced music videos, and are allowed to create cinematic masterpieces with a deepened meaning. They not censored in the types of lyrics that they write, despite how controversial in Korean culture.

Now this may seem trivial to you. All these small things are nothing compared to the injustice that the members face. How dare they give Jungkook all the lines and leave everyone else out in the cold! 2Seok was basically missing this entire comeback!

Ok I hear you, but at the same time, consider the fact that this is the first (and probably the last) time Hoseok gets few *cough cough none cough cough* individual lines in a song. Spring Day was a more vocal based song, so they decided that he should use his vocal talent to back Jungkook rather than add another rap verse. It makes sense to me, and it gives him the opportunity to show his vocal talent on stage if he and Jungkook harmonize live as well.

And then there is Jin. It seems that he always gets the short end of the stick. The amount of individual screen time he got was unfair yes, completely. He is officially a (debatably the) visual of the group, and if anything that should be the place he pops up the most. But at the same time, Not Today was more a dance video, and he and Nams are well, not the best dancers, so they wouldn’t put them in the middle on all the dance shots.

Also look at the I Need U and Run comebacks, the entire story in the music videos clearly revolved around him and his character, something that the fans were quick to point out and appreciate. For those comebacks, he was in the center.

This is still not a justification, but simply a reason for why they might have chosen to edit the video like they did.

Next moving on to his line distribution. He notoriously along with V get the short end of the stick when it comes to lines. And I think it is simply because of the way the industry works.

You know how sometimes Jimin and Jungkook switch lines because Jimin is better at the high notes in the studio, but Jungkook hits them better live? The same thing goes for most line distributions. What voice works the best for the feeling they want to produce? Who can hold the notes the best on stage? Like I said before, Jin is not the best dancer, and their dances are HARD, so most of his time probably goes towards practicing the choreography rather than nailing his vocal stability on stage.

He objectively doesn’t have the best or most stable voice in the group, as often times on live stages he is out of breath by the time his lines do come up, and that is completely understandable. It’s the reason why so many (even the more experienced) artists lip sync to certain performances.

Dancing while singing is hard, and maybe it’s just not for Jin. Maybe, just maybe, he decided himself that his voice was better suited for slower songs with less choreo so that he can really focus on nailing his vocal performance. I mean in the solo he got to produce himself he chose a more soft ballad song rather than a more hard hitting one like Jimin’s because that just suits his voice better, and he knows it.

That’s why he got a lot more lines in “Butterfly” a slower ballad with less complex dancing and softer vocals, right where Jin thrives, but not really the typical image BTS produces musically.

Once again this isn’t a justification, and more a reason why he might get fewer lines. It is true that the line distributions are unfair and I agree with that, but it’s also a question of the industry standards, and the fact that sometimes it might be the best solution to a shitty problem.

I know I’m probably going to get some flack for this one, but it’s just something that needed to be said. Us fans really need to step back and appreciate not only the boys, but the company that helped make them.

Pain (Simon Request)

(This was so difficult to write correctly! Sorry if it’s not very good😟)
“For fucks sake!” Simon yells, loud enough for you to hear from the kitchen.
You look down at the saucepan you were currently cooking some pasta in and sigh.
“Is he still getting this stressed?” Josh questions, surprised at your boyfriends actions.
This was never like Simon. He was always the carefree, happy, jokey one of the group. He was happy with you and nothing changed that. That just seemed to be slightly brushed aside recently as ‘YouTube stress’ built up more and more. Whether it was comments being pointless, tweets giving him hate or rude comments about you- it all built up. To this.
“Its getting worse” You sigh, “He hasn’t been sleeping enough and everything seems to make things worse”
“Have you tried talking to him?” Josh asks, clearly concerned that it would get to the point where Simon said something or did something that he didn’t mean… To you.
“Of course I have” You nod, plating up the pasta and sauce onto five different plates, “It makes no difference or it seems to make things worse. He feels guilty that they’re saying things about me”
“There’s always a spare bedroom okay (y/n)?” He puts a hand on your shoulder, “If you ever feel unsafe or like something’s going to happen just go there okay?”
“It won’t get to that” You state though you’re unsure whether you even believe your own words.
You hand over a plate to him and he takes two up the spiral stairs to give one to JJ and one to Vik whilst you take two for you and your boyfriend.
With each step you took, you became more and more nervous to reach the closed door of your shared bedroom. When Simon got angry, he became furious. And you weren’t ready to see him now.
“I made us some dinner” You begin, carrying the plate over to his desk.
His hands grip the table to turn them the same shade as the GTA car on his editing screen from his last video.
You cautiously place the plate and fork onto the desk and step back.
“So, do you want to talk about it?” You ask quietly, hoping to take some advice from Josh as you perch onto the side of the bed.
He stays silent. The veins prominent in his neck and the muscles of his arms shadowing in their tense state.
“It might help. Getting it out. It sounds stupid I know but-” you start before your words are cut off by his loud bellow.
“I don’t need a fucking counselling session!” He shouts, his hands releasing the desk for a split second to throw the ceramic plate across the room until it smashed into the wall opposite him. Flying past you.
You knew he had no intention of hitting you. It was an infuriated instinct. It just happened to fly in your direction.
“Okay. So no talking” You nod, putting your food on the bedside counter and walking over to the mess that now pooled on his light carpet, “You know we have a punching bag right upstairs. Maybe you could take your anger out on that”
You carefully try collecting together the pieces of smashed plate without cutting yourself.
Simon drags a hand through his hair and a loud sigh pulls through his lips. He was guilty. He just wouldn’t stay anything yet.
Though as you turn to check his state, the sharp ceramic cuts through your hand to leave a deep line across your palm.
“Shit” You mutter, holding it up to stop any blood hitting the carpet.
“are you hurt?” He asks, the worry lacing each letter.
“Just a scratch” You wince, hurrying to the bathroom and wrapping it in one of the spare face towels you had in the room.
“(Y/n) I-” He starts.
“Don’t start to apologise” You comment instantly, “You’re still too stressed to mean it and I think you need to seriously consider what’s going on with you before we start to go through this whole ‘I’m sorry’ business okay?”
Simon stares, dumbfounded, as the light material around your palm becomes more and more scarlet.
“So take some time to think” You nod, walking over to the nightstand to grab your phone, “And you can clean up your own mess” You state, walking out of the door without saying anything else.
You instantly head to Josh’s room, knowing there would always be someone to help you there.
“Hey Josh?” You begin, opening the door to his room, “Where do we keep the bandages?”
~~~Time Skip~~~
You spent last night in the spare bedroom. It was uncomfortable and it wasn’t warm like your normal bedroom. You didn’t have two long arms around your waist or a warm breath on your neck. You had a mattress that was too soft and sheets that enclosed you too much. And the bandage round your hand felt horrible.
Your phone was buzzing with notifications from Twitter suggesting someone had tagged you in something.
Simon.
There were two tweets.
One read- ‘Time for me to take a break. Want some quality time with @(y/n) without YouTube stress x See you soon’
And the second said- ‘me and @(y/n) will be spending two weeks in the Maldives and we can’t wait 😘 #love’
A lump was forming in your throat. Because you knew that Simon wouldn’t have slept last night either. He would’ve spent the entire night worrying that he truly had ruined things. And this was his was of proving that he still needed you. He always would.
You climb out of the sheets and head down the corridor to the room Simon would still be in. And you’re instantly welcomed by him jumping out of his chair to see you.
“(Y/n)” He starts, “How’s your hand?”
“Josh just said I have to keep it wrapped up for a few days” You nod, “How are you?”
“I’m tired (y/n)” He sighs, “And not just because I’ve not been sleeping. I’m tired of waking up and being scared to see what new shit is on my timeline about you. I’m tired of getting stressed that an edit isnt right or that the video isn’t good enough. I’m tired of taking things out on you. And last night, it just opened my eyes to all of that you know?”
You look down to the wall and carpet, he had cleaned them as much as he possibly could clearly. With only the wall showing a slight red stain now.
“So I decided I’m sick of it. I’m changing how I have been” He nods confidently, “We’re going away for two weeks and we can forget all about YouTube and stress and shitty tweets and pathetic comments because its only us two okay?”
“Looks like you did do some serious thinking” You chuckle.
“So what do you say babygirl?” He asks, walking over and taking your good hand in his, “I don’t want to take things out on you. I don’t want to have another night like last night”
“Okay” You smile simply.
“Okay?” He raises his brows, clearly thinking you’d be harder to convince.
“When do we leave?” You grin and he wraps his arms strongly around you.
The volume he now speaks in seems to be a volume he doesn’t even want you to hear as he buries his head in your neck, “I’m so sorry beautiful”

Kiribaku Week Day 5: Firsts

aight, so. this is like a day late haha. i’ve been agonizing over this fic since day two but writers block and insecurities are Nasty. but i finally finished! better late than never? *nervous chuckle*

First time holding hands

Bakugou Katsuki is a petty asshole, put mildly and kindly.

Not that Kirishima thinks Bakugou honestly cares in the slightest about what his friends and classmates and the general public think of him, or say to/yell loudly and repeatedly at him, so long as it doesn’t imply any sort of comparison where he’s at the tipping side.

His conviction, his total and utter self-belief and self-reliance—it’s something Kirishima actually admires a great deal if he turns the other cheek on all the aggressive huffing and puffing. Which coincidentally Kirishima does a lot, these days, quickly and with a blush, donning the heavy air of somebody caught red handed.

Analogically, though, Bakugou Katsuki is a flammable, foul-mouthed gas contained within a frail and easily offended material reinforced with a fragile ego and fists made for pounding, and everything else around him is the flame. He’s a fuse on the verge of bursting at any given time and burning everything with him.

Logic (Kaminari, Jirou) would say ursuing him with his heart on his sleeve is stupid, heinously self-sabotaging, and wrong, just wrong, are you crazy? But enthusiasm (Sero, Ashido) responds with a green light, a thumbs up, and tips on the art of wooing.

Kirishima, with the easy grin of somebody basically unbreakable in the face of explosions, compromises by promising to call if things go awry.

Keep reading

3

Ok guys strap yourselves in because I’m about to take you on the wild ride of the night of May 10, 2017. So I went through a lot mentally to get these tickets but I got them. Then the night before something happened with my friend and I’s ride. I cried my eyes out that night thinking we weren’t gonna be able to go but then we found a new ride so my hope was back. I really wanted to get to the barricade. I’ve been having a pretty shitty year and this was the only thing keeping me happy. So the next morning, our ride was two hours late. I’m sitting there thinking we’re gonna be at the back of the queue but when we got there we had pretty decent spots. We made some friends and had a good time. Then there was the problem of people cutting which pissed me off. It was getting ridiculously out of hand. I decided to abandon all concert etiquette and bulldoze my way to the front because my god I deserved it. By the time we got there I was stuck behind 3 tall girls. For those of you who don’t know, I’m 5'0. Yeah I was pissed and the barricade was right there. Concert started and I had the time of my life. However the girls around me were sort of bitches and I thought a fight was gonna go down. Eventually my friend (god bless her) managed to shove me to the front and I was right by the barricade. I swear van and I made eye contact for a split second before he closed his eyes. It happened. Singing along with my favorite band at the top of my lungs was such an amazing experience and I’ve been lucky enough to experience it twice. Their stage presence is the best I’ve ever seen and out of all the concerts I’ve been to, I enjoy theirs the most. It’s weird because I feel so at home and a sense a of belonging at their concerts. I could go on and on about the show but I’m just gonna say it was absolutely amazing. Now our oh so precious ride got into some trouble and my friends mom had to come get us. She’s pretty strict so I was concerned we weren’t going to get to meet the band because she would want to leave. Thankfully at the end, she was still 70 miles away. My friend and I waited by the gates, through hunger, cold weather, and rain. I see people standing up and of course we follow them. Now we’re standing around like dumbasses just talking until my friend says “oh my god bob and bondy are standing right there.” They were talking to the crowd about something (we were in the back). We could not believe our eyes. I got around to bob and my god he’s an actual angel. He’s so sweet. He turned towards me and I asked him for two things. I asked if he could take our selfie because I was shaking too much and then if he could sign my shirt. I’m still shaking while writing this. He was so gentle and sweet and took the picture. I expected him to move on because there were so many girls but he asked me about my shirt and signed it. God his arms were around my waist for so long fucjfigja I’m dead. I love him so much like you don’t understand. I love him I love him I love him I love him. My friend also loves bob a lot but she was like cowering behind me. I asked him if he could take a picture with my friend and she was like “no no no no”. I had to ask him again and he said “of course!” He was so gentle and sweet and took his time with us even though there was this crowd of people. I felt so calm around him. I told him he was great today and he said “thank you so much. Hope you enjoyed the show.” Then we went around to bondy and I was waiting for a while. He knew I was there and kept looking at me but the other girls kept going up to him. I’m so passive omg lol. Anyways he turned towards me and I told him how they’ve helped me out in so many weird ways. And he was like “oh well I’m glad we did something” and kind of laughed and said he’s glad. Then we got a picture and god his hand was on me for so long. I didn’t have a sharpie on me (I asked a girl for bobs but she left). Bondy was like now we just need to find a pen and I was like um I don’t have one but I mean that’s okay if no one has one. I mean I was fine. I was dumb and didn’t bring one but No he turned around and started asking for a sharpie and oh my god I think I died a little on the inside. This girl handed me one and he signed my shirt. I shook his hand said thanks and I hope they have a good rest of the tour. I was a mess. He looked at me right in the eyes and said thank you. He’s so intense and smooth and cool ahhh. After that he had to leave but bob stayed for so long. Eventually everyone started calling him but he took his time and still took pictures with people. I have a video of me yelling “bob you’re an angel!” and he looked so confused. It was hilarious. So yeah that fucking happened.

AU where Bitty is in the NHL

this could go one of two ways.
1. bitty went to samwell with Jack, they still got together, Bitty gets scouted and recruited to: not the Falconers.<
-imagine jack and bits playing against each other
-but jack never checks him, not even if theyre fighting, not even if he’s losing (bitty cant check him bc hes smol but whatever)
-they keep hockey and their relationship separate, and also secret, but think about the playful competition
-jack takes hockey super seriously ofc but bitty helps him realize that hockey is meant to be fun too gd jack u robot
-both of them work at not passing the puck to each other bc they arent on the same team
-but, about that secret relationship
-bitty isnt super closeted. he has a vlog, he has twitter, the only ppl that dont know he’s gay are his parents but lmao they def know bitty is terrible at hiding it, but thats another story
-so, the press, uh, addresses bittys sexuality by putting together a montage of the vlog and links to the vlog and if they werent basically outing him the video would be cute as shit bc its bitty
-but, really, bitty never wanted to be closeted, and he never really hid it anyway. he talks to his parents, he talks to jack, and heres the plan.
-bitty comes out, but he’s so southern about it. like the press says something to him and bitty’s just “oh, y'all didnt know that?”
-so, bittys the first gay NHL player
-but lets talk about jack
-lets say, falconers v bittys team (whatever team he’s on is in new england. wherever bits and jack live is between their home stadiums) and maybe theres a falconer thats kinda a dick and a homophobe. jack isnt out, and its never come up before, but this guy (lets call him Dick) is a DICK. and he says something to bitty, maybe after checking him really hard, and jack just loses it.
-maybe jack is close by and he heard what dick said, and hes livid okay. this guy was sort of his friend, his teammate, and then theres bitty who’s crumpled on the ice and jack and bits make eye contact and bitty looks so shaken and broken and jack. just. loses. it.
-jack fights his own teammate on the ice. he gets dick’s helmet off and his own gloves off and doesnt stop until he can barely recognize the other guys face, because of all the blood, this dick who he thought was his friend, and someone is pulling him away, maybe half the falconers are pulling him away
-maybe its tater thats pulling jack away, jack whos still struggling to get back out there not to keep wailing on dick but to see if bitty is okay because he’s honestly over the anger (okay, maybe not 100% but hes more concerned with bits atm)
-but tater drags him to the showers and forces him under cold water like they do in all the sports movies when shit gets real and athletes be crazy
-fun fact: tater is like jacks bff second to shitty. but he doesnt know about jack and bits.
-and jack is so quiet that tater barely hears him when he asks what the hell happened out there. jacks tells tater that Dick just assaulted jacks boyfriend.
-and tater says. “alright. we kill him. but not on ice, too many camera”
-and jack laughs. tater laughs. jack is still shaking and ofc hes cold but hes calm now.
-hes calm when georgia comes around and his managers come around and he says hes doing press. and they are like “no. not happening” until jack singles out george and is like “i have something to say.” (george knows abt jack and bits so she thinks hes going to come out, but hes not) so he and george have a quiet convo about what he wants to say and george approves it and the managers/coaches are like wtf why are u letting this happen.
-jack does press. his knuckles are shredded and hes got paper towels wrapped around them and theres a bit of blood still but hes smiling.
-jack says ‘bittle is my friend. even if he werent i would not tolerate homophobia on my team’ (jack could be cap or not but anyway)
-press wants to know why its such a strong reaction, dicks face is wrecked, yadda yadda.
-‘bittle is my best friend’ jack says. cue chuckles from the press. somewhere in harvard shitty clutches his chest and screams 'ET TU, JACK?’ (he gets looks but when does he not)
-bitty is being checked out by the docs (hes all good) and is asked what he thinks about jacks reaction. bits is like 'it was stupid of him but nonetheless, i will make him a pie’
-jack gets a fine and a suspension (and a pie) dick gets a bigger fine and a longer suspension and has to make an official apology and go to sensitivity training.
-bitty scolds jack for being wreckless, he could have gotten hurt, maybe outed. and jack is like “i dont care what happens to me i care about you” and they make sweet sweet love and maybe, jack is thinking about coming out
-followers of bittys vlog (which he still does!!) make gifs of dick getting beat up, photoshop pies splattering on his head.
-and then, well, suddenly people are more interested in the bittle/zimmerman 'friendship’
-bittys vlog gets hits. not the new videos when hes in the nhl. the old ones. the samwell ones. especially the outtakes bits posted where a certain canadian pops up here and there
-articles about the two year period where jack and bits were on the same line at samwell. next game bitty is in he gets put on press. 'so, jacks your best friend’ 'id say so’ 'and youre gay’ 'yes’ 'is jack?’ and bits is so clever, and this is the chirp that goes down in hockey legend “jack is hockeysexual”
-(somewhere in the world, the smh crew are d y i n g of laughter. jack gets a million chick emojis in texts.)
-ofc the press are kind of dumb. 'hockeysexual?’ 'yeah,’ says bits 'he likes hockey.’ (later on jack is going to make a show of writing hockey on a post it and sticking it to bitty right after they have sex. bitty snaps a photo and saves it to post on insta later on…. much later)
-in the meantime jack and george are talking about uh, things, and she says that now might be a good time with all the positive media attention (theres negative media too about how jack shouldnt kick the shit out of his own team but mostly the press is ecstatic about fighting homophobia and the 'incredible bromance between players on different teams’ 'bromeo and dudeliet’–ransom and holster INSIST on being called bromeo and dudeliet)
-but jack isnt ready. no, hes ready to come out. he just has to do something first.
-before jack plays again, he proposes. (dont ask me how bc im a SAP and if i get started on a proposal story i wont stop.) but anyway bits says yes. and then a little bit later jack says hes going to come out but he wont tell bitty how, he just tells him to be ready for it.
-and uh, bitty has an away game while jack has a home game. and jack does press. and bittys on the team bus on the way to the stadium when suddenly his team starts whispering and glancing at him until finally theyre at the stadium and off the bus and his team dog piles him and congratulates him and bittys like ??? and suddenly theres a phone in front of him with a video
-and its jack doing press.
-the press (as they have been doing) try and get jack to address the rumors that he and bits are more than bffs, to which jack says
-'im not going to tell yall that hes my boyfriend’ (those in the know notice the yall. it becomes half the smh’s text tones for jack)
-the press murmurs dissapointedly but jack smiles and says 'because he’s my fiance’
-and bitty calls jack immediately and scolds him a bit, and tells him he loves him but 'dangit jack im about to play’ and jack is just like 'sorry not sorry’
-and bittys team wins. do a lot of the stadium know hes engaged to jack? yes. is there a little hate speech thrown at him? yes, like usual. one drunk guy gets his attention and says something like 'im not a gay but zimmy has an ass you can bounce a quarter off congrats dude!’ (bitty will always be suspicious that it was actually shitty in disguise)
-and bits. he does press. one guess as to what the press asks him about. 'no we havent set a date. no, our relationship has never affected the game–okay maybe the once but thats dicks fault. we ve been together since i was 20. no, the only time i try to win games for jack is when im playing against jack" cue chuckles.
-shitty and tater fight for best-manship. lardo is uncontested for bittys best man. there are a lot of smh hockey players in the wedding party.
-there is a lot of talk about how ppl think jack or bitty are going to be compromised by each other, that they shouldnt get to play for the sake of the sport. its a cheap way to disguise homophobia, and jack calls them out on it. bitty is just… 'bless their heearts’ and pulls a knife
-jack is suddenly appearing on bittys vlog more.
-also people are kind of irked that they didnt realize jack and bits live in the smae house. because at some point pre-coming out there have been 'welcome to the team’ fluff pieces where rookies show people around their houses and talj about what they like. first jack had one and then bitty. in the same house. these fuckers. YALL ARE NOT SUBTLE. (this is also how bitty vlog gets popular while hes a nhl star. bc he talks about his vlog. a lot.)
-cut to married zimbits. jack and bits drive to a game together, where theyre going to play each other, and the press paps them sharing a goodbye kiss before going to separate locker rooms.
-theres talk of maybe it would be best if jack or bitty get traded so theyre on the same team? which, that doesnt seem too bad to bits and jack. but. they have contracts. and they kind of like playing against each other. and it takes more than one player for a team yadda yadda jack and bits arent winning/losing alone
-years down the road bitty is a free agent (or whatever i dont really know that much about sports okay) and theyre both falconers players. bc bittys other option was to move to frickin canada (or vegas lmao could u imagine. with parson. poor jack) and also bc jack and bitty play so well together.
-lets end this story with the managers of the falconers face palming SO HARD bc bits makes jack a better player, jack makes bits a better player. the falcs had a chance to get bitty and they didnt bc idk, they had jack from samwell or maybe they compared him to jack tok much or maybe they couldnt compete with whatever bittys team offered to pay. and now they see what they could have had for years now and oh my god. side note- bittys got a stanley cup, jacks got a stanely cup, and now that theyre on the same team theyre gonna get another stanley cup.
-fear the stanely cup winning gay hockey power couple

but yeah. bitty in the nhl.

12

aaaww heck yeah time for mod velvet to S H I NE BITCHESS - mod kimchi :’)))

lmao sorry i have totally strayed from the prompt and wrote a really angsty short fic lmao it gets fluffy in the end

p.s. sorry this took ages i didn’t see it in drafts until today rekt also this is so scrappy im sorry times three lmao  - Mod Velvet


Remember Me In A Year

Seventeen: Minghao
Type: Fluff / Time Skip Scenario Fanfic
Ship: Minghao x Reader /  Jun x Reader
Word Count: 1833

ft. seventeen members, sehun, minhyuk, shownu, jungkook, bambam, yugyeom, lalisa, jisoo, tzuyu, nayeon, seungjun

Mod Velvet

Keep reading

Seventeen Reaction To S/O Doing M/V With Another Idol Group [Vocal Unit]

Excluding Jeonghan b/c I got lazy and was just go do a half ass job might do him later who knows

A/n: none of these gifs are mine

LETS GET ITTTTTTTT!

Woozi: Our smol lil bean small but feisty firstly he would support you in everything that you do he wants you to be succesful as possible but that doesn’t mean he likes the idea of you starring in a video including other males. He refused to go to the recording because he knew if he had to sit and watch other males touch on you he was going to lose his mind. He tried not to show that it was bothering him but when you talked so excitedly about the group and how great it was to work with him he couldn’t help the pout that would rest upon his face and he would pout even more when you mentioned how cute he looked. When the m/v first came out he thought hey this isn’t to bad but then it got to the interesting part you and the lead shared a peck on the lips which you hadn’t told him before hand because you know that he was absolutely going to disapprove. He looked calm on the outside but you could tell on the inside he was fuming. He was able to contain his anger until the next scence came you and the two leads laid in bed you shirt happened to be missing and not to mention one of the boys next to you. Jihoon looked at you and you could see the displeasure in his eyes and he got up storming out the studio making sure to slam the door.

“Come on Jihoon it’s not that bad”

“Oh so if I go lay in a bed with a girl practically naked you’d be okay with that”

“Hey as long as your being professional. This is what I do it’s my job.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it”

“Stop being a pouty little baby at the end on the day your the one I come home to”

He couldn’t be more happy for you and your accomplishments. His jealousy is nothing compared to how estatic he is that you get to live your dream and do what you love everyday.

Originally posted by joshwooa

Joshua:Joshua our gentleman the minute you told him about your new opportunity he would be smiling from ear to ear congratulating you and telling you how you deserved it. He would attend every rehearsal, dance practice, and shoot. If he got the chance he would even help out. Of course there’s always the itty bitty feeling of jealousy because who wants anyone feeling up on their girl. In between shots he would shower you with compliments on how well you looked and bring you food. He was there through every step. Now comes the bed seen through the entire shooting he would have his face scrunched up in this almost disgusted look he would try to smile through it because he wanted to be supportive but you could feel his discomfort with the situation. You had talked about it before hand and he had voiced his opinion about how the idea wasn’t his favorite but this is what you do and he never doubted your love or trust so he told the himself he would just have to suck it up. The minute the bed sceen was over be rushed to your side and covered you with a robe he may have agreed with this idea but the thought of other people seeing what was for his eyes only did not settle with him. The day of the m/v release he was telling everybody and anybody to watch and stream it.

“ okay babe I think they get it you don’t have to keep telling them”

“You worked hard and it needs to be recognized.”

“I appreciate the free promotion and all but your starting to annoy the staff.”

“It’s just that I’m proud of you and that’s the last time you ever do a bed scence with anybody else it’s me.” *wiggles eyebrows*

“You disgust me Joshua Hong.

Later that night y'all has some bomb ass sex jkjk he wasn’t going let his feelings get in the way of your goals in life and no matter his opinion on your work he was there to cheer you on.

Originally posted by fy-verkwan

Seungkwan:The very extra Seungkwan before your company even started promoting your new project he’d be hyping you hope. He seemed to be more excited then you. He was giving out ideas for the m/v left and right there was no stopping him. The one idea he obviously didn’t agree with was the bed scence the second you told him a scowl made its way upon his face. Seungkwan had not problem voice his problem with the idea. Lots of eye rolls came your way. When he first met the other boys you could see that he wasn’t all to happy becoming buddy buddy with the guys that would be sharing a bed with his shirtless girlfriend.(Petty ass but that ain’t none if my business) He helped you as much as possible. Told you how to make your voice stronger and carry out your notes effortlessly. All in all he was very supportive but he always made time to mention how unhappy he was with having someguys arm wrapped around you. When the shooting started you could practically hear his sighs from across the room. He wasn’t completely focused on the actual scence he didn’t wanna get himself worked up over something that would only last five minutes you both were confident in your relationship so there’s no reason for him to feel uneasy about the situation.

“Stop glaring at them will you.”

“ Not glaring at them just but look at those smug looks bet they’re happy to be feeling all up on you.”

“Nobody was feeling all up on anybody. Chill babe.”

“Bet they’re gonna go and brag to their friends.”

“Look drama queen it’s just a m/v nothing more nothing less. If it makes you feel better you can feel all up on me later.”

“Mhmm you’re very tempting.”

You could see even when he looked rather displeased that he enjoyed watching you achieve your goals and that he was happy to be apart of that journey.

Originally posted by pabospoiler

DK:A literal ball of sunshine like he wouldn’t even be jealous this isn’t the first time you’ve done a shoot like this so he’s not even worrying about you not keeping it professional not that you would ever cross that line. He couldn’t be there all the time due to his hectic schedule but when he could he be there showering you with compliments, hugs and kisses. He got along with the guys great greeting them with a polite bow and a huge smile. Every opportunity he got he would brag to everybody literally nobody was off limits. He’d the first to stream and download the song. Total fanboy when the actual m/v was released.

“Look at my girlfriend isn’t she beautiful.”

“Did you see that. DID YOU SEE THAT!”

Did you see that move she just did.“

"Her singing is so good!”

Literally abusing the person next to him he’s so excited. You wouldn’t be able to watch it together but the minute the video ended. He was on the phone with you practically screaming your ear off about how good you guys did and he was just super impressed by you. A very proud boyfriend.

🦄A/N: Excuse my mistakes ( I don’t proof read just skim and see if I can spot a mistake😂😭)also excuse this shitty writing If you couldn’t tell the bed scene is the one from the 365 Fresh M/V by Triple H

Ryden Theory

Ryden.  Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie.  The two men who have royally fucked up my life.  I wanted to “decode”  their relationship.  Song lyrics, interview, lore.  Everything.  If anyone has read M Theory about Sherlock, that is the feel I’m going for.  I’m going to do this chronologically, but first a quick overview of Ryden and a little background.   Even If you don’t believe they were in love, the loss of friendship is just as sad.

DISCLAIMER

A lot of this is speculation.  I love Brendon, Ryan, Jon, Spencer, Dallon and Sarah.  

Overview

So, Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie are both known because of the band Panic!  At the Disco.  A band that has had no fewer than nine members.  The originals, Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross, Spencer Smith, and Brent Wilson.  Ryan and Spencer had been friends since they were five and had begun the band playing Blink-182 covers.  Many splits over twelve years, leaving lead singer, Brendon Urie, the only original member left.  

2005

Panic!  Was originally Ryan and Spencer Smith (original drummer’s)  band, joined by Brent Wilson (original bassist)  who was the one to bring in Brendon.  The thing is, Brendon was originally the backup guitarist with Ryan as lead vocals.  After hearing Brendon sing they made him lead singer and Ryan the lead guitarist.  Ryan was reluctant to let Brendon take over, these were HIS songs about HIS struggles.  Both Ryan and Brendon have talked about how hard it was for them to communicate on how to sing the songs.  You might know the next bit,  they sent some demos (Camisado, Time to Dance, Nails for Breakfast and Tacks for Snacks)  to Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy bassist)  who flew to LA and watched them practice.  He ended up signing them to his label, decaydance.  Ryan wrote all of the songs from A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out, the album including hit, I Write Sins Not Tragedies.  Chances are, this is the first P!atd song you ever heard.  Ryan and Brendon were beginning to warm up to each other.

2006

Panic!  Really hit it big in 2006.  They sold 10, 000 albums in the first week.  Later on that year they won ‘MTV video of the Year’ for I Write Sins.  They began to tour. This is around the time they started the ‘stage-gay’.  You may have seen the ‘Perfect Passionate Kiss’ video  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK25McZVK0c) .  Later this year the first split occurred, bassist Brent Wilson was kicked out of the band.  It was revealed that he didn’t record any bass on the album.  Instead, Brendon had filled in and recorded all of the bass.  The Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour replaced Brent with Jon Walker.  The Circus tour’s most notable event was

Myrtle Beach.

Myrtle Beach

Panic! Had a dancer named Dream, who every night would go on stage and say that Brendon was a virgin.  In an interview, Dream said this was a lie.  Greta Salpeter from Hush Sound, who was touring with Panic!  Said that they went skinny dipping at Myrtle Beach around midnight.    This is normal.  Friends skinny dip together all the time.  What makes it part of Ryden Lore is good ol’ Ryro’s livejournal post later that night.

6-25-06 01:21:28 PDT - (No Subject)

The moon bred new Atlantic life tonight. the salt burned you right out of my eyes. and secrets we’re not proud of were taken with the tide. We were all newborns with blurred vision and no sense of direction.

Today I saw cancer, cigarettes and shortness of breath. this is why I walk to the ocean. swim with jellyfish. I may never get this chance again. this is why if you want to kiss you should kiss. If you want to cry you should cry, and if you want to live you should live. You don’t have to love me. You already did. At least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia. it’s for lovers (orjustfriends) This is why I do it.

THIS IS AFTER BEING NAKED WITH BRENDON.  UNDER THE MOONLIGHT.  JUST SAYING.

Also, I’m going to mention a few lyrics here.  I will go deeper into lyrics later on.

Northern Downpour

Hey moon, please forget to fall down.

I’m just going to say, it’s probable that Ryan and Brendon fucked that night.  I think this lyric is about not wanting that night to end.  Hey moon, don’t you go down.  Don’t go down because that means this night is over.  A night which was probably one of the best of their lives.

2007

2007 was pretty uneventful.  They started to work on Pretty. Odd, around the same time Ryan’s dad passed away.  They worked through it though.  The band.

2008

They released the first single Nine in the Afternoon, early in 2008.  What stands out about this song is really the video.  Despite having great lyrics, if you’re looking at this through the Ryden Conspiracy Theorist Lens™ like I am, the video really stands out.  The end especially shows how comfortable they were around each other.  It’s just really cute.  I don’t want to talk about Northern Downpour yet because it’s 1 AM and I don’t want to cry right now.  So we’re going to talk about  When The Day Met The Night.  This is the Sun and Moon theory.  Ryan is the sun, Brendon is the moon.  Some believe it’s the other way around.  Please check http://analyzingpanic.tumblr.com/post/65592663208/i-think-its-the-other-way-around-ryans-the-sun for why I think this.  I think that the song is a story.  A story about how they fell in love.

 When the moon (Brendon) found the sun (Ryan)  he looked like he was barely hanging on.  I think this is saying that  before Brendon, Ryan was close to giving up.  

  Her (Brendon) eyes saved his (Ryan) life.  Brendon’s love saved Ryan.  Like it or not, Brendon’s voice is what gave Panic! That little boost that it desperately needed to make it big.  Many other songs reference this particular piece of lore.  Anyway, I guess I have to do it now.  Northern Downpour.  THE Ryden song.  First, we have to talk about Ryan’s 21st birthday.  Pete threw Ryan a party in New York, which is on the EAST coast.  Ryan was the only one drinking age, so the rest flew to RAINY NORTHERN SEATTLE.  Around midnight Ryan left his party and his girlfriend, Keltie Colleen, and flew to Seattle without warning.  Maybe you’ve already figured it out.

 I missed your skin when you were east.  Ryan was on the east coast away from Brendon.  This ties in with- You clicked your heels and wished for me.  Ryan wished he was with Brendon.  

 I know the world’s a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home.  THIS LINE.  Ryan told Brendon to pay special attention to this line.  Also, this is the line when Brendon would start crying while performing it after the 2009 split.  The meaning though.  I think it’s about how yes, the world sucks, and hurts.  But if you ignore that, let the pain melt away, it’s home.  

You may be wondering how we know about Seattle.  The thing is, there’s photos of them there.  Eating at the Market.  Ryan in the same clothes as the night before.  Seattle itself is very important.  Ryan has said it’s his favourite place to perform.  Ry was driving to Seattle when he got the call that his father died.  Of course there’s also the “Maybe one day we’ll settle in Seattle” line.  Also Bren breaking down while performing   Casual Affair in Seattle.

Okay. I’m done with 2008.  Bring on 2009.

2009

If I didn’t want to talk about Northern Downpour, I definitely don’t want to talk about 2009.  But I gotta.  Fuck 2009.  2009 is the year of the split.  The cited reason of the split is ‘Musical Differences’  I think that this is partially true.  Ryan and Jon had begun to write music on their own.  They had also started to make fun of Brendon’s attempts at writing music.  The tension was building.  They did try to work things out by going to a cabin to write their next album,  Crickets and Clover.  Never heard of it?  That’s okay.  It was never released.  Now.  Now we talk about Cape Town.

Cape Town

This was it.  The End.  I can’t really talk about Cape Town.  No one knows what happened.

The Young Veins

Ryan and Jon left.  They formed their own semi-successful band.  There’s a few song we need to talk about.  Lie to the Truth is all about how Ryan tried to love Keltie, but couldn’t.  About how he wanted needed their relationship to stay private.  But I really need to talk about Cape Town. Yes, they wrote a song about.  BUT IT’S RYAN ROSS SO NO ONE FUCKING KNOWS WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT.  POETIC LITTLE SHIT. Specifically, the contrast between it and The Calendar.  I think that The Calendar is very important so I’ll talk about it separately later.

Cape Town vs.  The Calendar

The Calendar

And I meant everything that I said that night.   Brendon did mean everything he said.  Presumably they had a fight.

I will come back to life, but only for you.  THIS CHANGES THE LAST LINE.  Yes, Brendon meant what he said, he was mad. But he was still in love.  He can forgive him.  Only him.

Cape Town

Woke me in the morning, asked me if I meant it.  I’m assuming Ryan said some pretty shitty things to Brendon.  But he didn’t mean them.

I loved, I left you, in Cape Town.  Ryan did love Brendon, but they couldn’t stay together.

Vices & Virtues

I love this album.  So much.  I cried the first time I listened to it.  I swear this entire album is about Ryan Ross.  Every song has meaning so this’ll take a while.

The Ballad of the Mona Lisa

Say what you mean.  Ryan stop being so cryptic and just TELL BRENDON WHAT YOU MEAN.

Let the sun rain down on me.  Sun and Moon theory.

Give me a sign, I want to believe.  Brendon wants Ryan to show him he’s still in love with him, Brendon wants them to be together.

You’re guaranteed to run this town.  Good job, Ry!  You finally have control over you music.  Even later into 2009 Ryan and Brendon still struggled with how Brendon was singing Ryan’s lyrics.  This is Bren being petty.

I’d pay to see you frown.  Brendon wants Ryan to fail so he’ll finally realize that he needs Brendon.  

Pleased to please ya.  Brendon felt like Ryan thought that it was a privilege for Brendon to sleep with him.

Hurricane

You’re behind my eyelids when I’m all alone.   Brendon misses Ryan.  A lot.

I led the revolution, in my bedroom.  This is talking about the fact Ryden was a LGBTQ+  relationship.

They don’t look like me.  Brendon’s a cocky lil shit.  Brendon knows that Ryan isn’t going to be with anyone more attractive than him.

They don’t sound like me.  No matter how hard Ryan and Jon try, none of those songs they write can sound like his.  They don’t have the vocal ability.

This one hurts too.  Memories

With an unrequited love.  Brendon felt that Ryan never really loved him back

She was the youngest of the family, and the last to be let go.  Brendon was the youngest of a large mormon family.

Then they decided that they would try to make it on their own.  The original four all risked everything for this chance that they would make it in the music world.

Oh memories, where’d you go?   You were all I’d ever known.  I actually think this is about Ryan and Spencer’s friendship.  One of the unanswered questions of the split is, why did Spencer side with Brendon even though Ryan had been his best friends since they were five?

How I miss yesterday.  Brendon and Spencer both just really want it to be 2009 again.

When July became December.  An overarching theme of this album is summer ending.  This is often related to the split.

But they couldn’t quite remember what inspired them to go.  After the underwhelming debut of The Young Veins, Ryan and Jon would have to watch Panic!  Make a comeback, without them.

They were fighting for their love, it was growing tired.  Brendon and Ryan tried to make it work.

When the money lost momentum.  Ryan and Jon were probably rolling in Panic!  Royalties after they left, but although they still gain a little money from their Panic! Days, it’s definitely slowed down.

They were young and independent, and they thought they had it planned. Should have known right from the start, you can’t predict the end.  At the beginning they were young, and desperate for separation from their parents.  They thought everything would be perfect.  You can’t predict how things will end.

Don’t let it fade away.  I think that this is a message to us, the fans.  Don’t let these first two albums be forgotten.

Trade Mistakes

I think this song is about Brendon’s mistakes as a lover and friend.   About how it bothers him that Ryan can seemingly just keep going without him.  Brendon knows he fucked up by letting Ryan leave, he wants to trade those mistakes for peace of mind

Ready to Go (Get Me Out Of My Mind)

You’ve got these little things, that you’ve been running from.  Ryan had a troubled childhood that still haunts him, it’s why he can’t stay with someone from his past.  These tiny things following him everywhere.

I’m ready to live.  Fuck Ryan Ross.  Brendon is learning how to be in Panic! Without Ryan.   Learning to live without Ryan.

Get me out of my mind.  Brendon wants to think about anything but Ryan.

Always  this song fucks me up too

When the world gets too heavy, put it on my back.  I think this is about how Ryan wrote songs about his struggles, then Brendon had to sing it.  Brendon would have to carry part of the burden.

You’re taking me apart.  Brendon is slowly being pulled apart, Ryan left him.  His band is split in two.

It was always you, falling for me.   Brendon now sees that Ryan did love him.  

I’m the light blinking at the end of the road, blink back to let me know.  Despite everything, Brendon is still waiting for Ryan.  He’s begging Ryan for a sign that there’s something worth waiting for.

I’m a fly that’s trapped, in a web, but I’m thinking that, my spider’s dead.  Brendon is still very in love with Ryan, but he’s beginning to believe that there’s no hope for them.

Lonely, lonely little life, I could kid myself, thinking that I’m fine.  Brendon feels alone without Ryan.  Yes, he has Spencer, but it’s not the same.  Even though he knows that Spencer can’t replace Ryan in anyway, he can make himself believe that.

The Calendar

If you don’t let it out, you’re gonna let it eat you away.  Ryan and Brendon were keeping their love a secret and it was slowly destroying them.

Pray I could replace her, forget the way her tears taste.  Brendon tried to replace Ryan and Jon with Dallon, but it wasn’t the same.

Put another X on the calendar, summer’s on its death bed.  Summer was when their love both blossomed and and died.

There’s simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends. Brendon had said in interviews that he’d hoped that they’d be together forever.  I bet if you’d told 17 year old Panic! That it would end with them all hating each other, not talking.  Toxic relationships.  They would have hesitated before signing to decaydance.

And I meant everything I said that night, I’ll come back to life, but only for you.  This is hinting at the resurgence of Panic!  Literally 90% of the songs on V&V were about Ryan.  Panic! Came back, but for Ryan.

Don’t want to call it a second chance, but when I came back, it was more of a relapse. Whenever Brendon gave Ryan a second chance it felt like he was doing drugs again, like he was high.  Like he had broken a promise to himself.

Sarah Smiles

THIS SONG IS ABOUT SARAH.  I CAN MAKE AN ARGUMENT FOR MOST OF THESE SONGS.  BUT. THIS. IS. ABOUT. SARAH.

Nearly Witches.

This song is special because it’s technically the last song written by Ryan Ross for Panic!  He didn’t write all of it though.  We need to start with the french.

Dès le premier jour, ton parfum enivra mon amour, et dans ces instants, j'aimerais être comme toi par moments, mais depuis ce jour, je n'ai qu'un seul et unique regret

From day one, my love your perfume intoxicated, and in these moments

I want to be like you at times, but since that day, I only have a single regret.  Most of this comes in again later.

Here I am, composing a burlesque.  What’s really important about this line is how Brendon performs it.  This is the last line Ryan ever wrote.  Brendon will often perform it mockingly, many people have interpreted it as Brendon being petty af and making fun of Ryan.

I only shoot up with your perfume.  Only Ryan can get him the high he craves.

I’ve got just one regret to live through, that one regret is you.  Brendon regrets Ryan, regrets their love.

I’ve got just one regret to live through, and I regret ever letting you go.  This changes the meaning of the original line.  Now, it’s about Brendon regretting letting what he and Ryan had die.  He thinks he should’ve held onto it as long as possible.

Mona Lisa, pleased to please ya.  This makes me think that the Mona Lisa is Ryan.  Even though Brendon regrets leaving Ryan, he knows he was never as much to Ryan as Ryan was to him.

The album as a whole

Brendon is a salty bitch.  

Not much happened between this and Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die.  Brendon cried while performing Northern Downpour.  Idk not much.   Oh yeah, Brendon and Sarah got married.

Too Rare to Live, Too Rare to Die

I think this album is a lot of Brendon accepting his sexuality, Ryan+Jon being gone, and the future.  A fair amount of this album was written by Dallon.  

This is Gospel

This song is about Spencer and his struggle with addiction.

Miss Jackson

When I saw Panic! In concert, Brendon said this was about a girl in Vegas.  I think that there’s some parts that apply to Ryan though.  I think when Brendon sings about no one knowing who was there, he’s talking about how they’d had to keep their love a secret.

Girl That You Love

This song was dedicated to Ryan Ross in the album notebook.

Drop every pretense.  Pretense literally means an attempt to make something that is not the case to appear true.  So basically Brendon is saying, ‘hey Ry, yeah remember how we pretended we weren’t in love.  Yeah stop that’

Nicotine

The song’s about how Brendon felt addicted to Ryan’s love, always saying that it would be the last time.  

Girls/Girls/Boys

I actually think this isn’t about Ryan, but instead Brendon realizing that it’s okay for him to have these feelings for another man.  

Casual Affair

This song is talking about how they’d both just said, ‘Oh it’s okay, we’re young, fooling around.’  If you want to cry watch this video of Brendon singing Casual Affair and breaking down.  In Seattle.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhXDQBZNdIE

End of All Things

I am always yours.  Yes, Brendon’s married and loves Sarah.  But this song is about the end of an era.  Ryan will  always have a hold over Brendon, but this song is Brendon trying to move on.

We are young again.  Brendon wants to go back to the beginning.  When they were young and happy and carefree.

In these coming years, many things will change, but the way I feel, will remain the same.  Brendon wants Ryan to know things will change, he’s married now. But a part of him will always care about Ryan, no matter what.

After Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die Spencer left.  He left to go get help for is drug abuse.  Brendon began to work on Death of a Bachelor.  Ryan….  Ryan kept being emo™.

Death of a Bachelor

Doab is about Brendon falling in love with Sarah, getting married, AGAIN trying to move on.

Hallelujah

My life started the day I got caught, under the covers.  Brendon didn’t know what life was truly like before Ryan.

Who was I trying to be?  Why were they trying to hide it?  Everyone guessed anyway.

Then the time for being sad is over, and you miss them like you miss no other, but being blue is better than being over it.   Brendon knows he should be over Ryan by now, but he still misses him.  And to Brendon, being sad about the split is better than forgetting about the love he shared with Ryan.

Death of a Bachelor

Do I look lonely?  Hey Ryan.   Ryan look. I’m married and still in the band.  I’m still friends with Spencer.  I’m not lonely.

And when you think of me, am I the best you ever had?  Does Ryan still miss Brendon like Brendon misses him.  Is Brendon still the best relationship he ever had?

Share one more drink with me, smile even though you’re sad.  Brendon is married.  Ryan can never be that person for him anymore, but Ryan has to pretend that he’s happy for Brendon.

Golden Days

Fuck this song.  If I went through every song that could possibly reference Ryden/Original band it would take pages.  So here’s some highlights.

We’ll stay drunk, we’ll stay tan, let the love remain.   The summer before the split, where they toured around the world.  That is summer that Brendon is talking about.  The summer when the band got along, where they ALL loved each other.

Golden days.  Brendon thinks these are the best days of his life.  He knows that when he’s older he’ll look back on his life and remember the summer spent with his three best friends is the of his life.

Time can never break your heart, but it can take the pain away.  Brendon knows that eventually thinking about the split will hurt less.

House of Memories

This song is a problem.  I hate it.  So much.  HOUSE OF PROBLEMS.  It has the same problem as the last one.  Highlights;

Memories turn into daydreams.  Brendon longs for days of Pretty. Odd   And the memories have slowly morphed into daydreams about what could’ve been.

Promise me a place, in your house of memories.  Ryan promise me that you won’t forget what we had.

I THINK OF YOU FROM TIME TO TIME, MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD, YOU WERE JUST TOO KIND, AND I WAS TOO YOUNG TO KNOW.  Brendon knew he’d miss Ryan, but thought it would be rarer.  Now looking back, Brendon realizes that what they had was worth keeping.

These thoughts of past lovers, they’ll always haunt me.   This is a message  to Sarah saying I love you, but I can’t let go of him.

Bonus Lines

Memories tend to just pop up. Brendon doesn’t want to miss the old Panic!  But he can’t help is.  -Don’t Threaten Me With  Good Time