i think it would be over sized

hockeystix  asked:

zimbits. “Less homicidal thoughts about your annoying coworker right now, please. I’m in a meeting over here.” pLEASE

Charlie asked for this about 30 years ago but I’m just getting around to it now. It’s prompt from this list. 


If he thinks I’m going to let a single tart anywhere near his ruinous Trump-sized hands he’s got another thing coming. Actually, no. He can have as many tarts as he wants. Kill ‘em with kindness, and arsenic worked into the whipped cream. I’d have to add more vanilla to balance it out but–

If Jack wasn’t in a sponsorship meeting, he would be inclined to promptly bash his head into the wood of the table. It had been like this for a few weeks ago, a voice filtering in at the most inopportune times, going on diatribes against who he was presuming was the voice’s coworker (”–even the way he counts out change is annoying. The Lord is testing me. We should’ve kept the antique register, it would have hurt more when I ‘accidentally’ shut the drawer on his fingers that he just licked to count out the bills. Yes, I would LOVE my spit covered change. THANK YOU.”)

Unfortunately, Jack thought it was unlikely that NIKE would appreciate their new brand ambassador actively giving himself a concussion, so he shot the representative across the table a smile and nodded to whatever was being said before reverting back inside his head.

As ambitious as your assassination attempt is, if you could keep it to yourself I would appreciate it.

There wasn’t even a moments pause before he got his reply.

Keep reading

Cracked this Tinder thing

Okay so I think I have actually cracked Tinder for sugar babies. My profile reads “I enjoy the company of classy older men who love to spoil me. I’m intelligent, curvy, vibrant and would love to get to know you over cocktails next to the waterfront.”

Then I match with guys with signs they’re wealthy in their profiles, then they message and always mention something about spoiling me. So I say okay let’s go out for lunch, take a walk then do a bit of shopping. And they’re so down. Then on the shopping trip you can test their generosity and get a sense for whether they’re worth seeing again.

Salts will just unmatch and disappear because they know they will have to buy you things from the start. It also sets it up so that it is clear to them I do not come for free and my tastes are expensive.

2

Sorry these are so rough- it was more of a costume design exercise then a drawing one.

A few weeks ago I did these allegiance-switched versions of Jyn and Krennic, and popped them onto my twitter feed. It’s only just occurred to me to put them up here too.

It’s was fun trying to figure out how to incorporate a cape into the Rebel Alliance aesthetic- but looking at some concept art they seem to be fans of zippers and pockets. I added that mustard lining to give it a nice flash of colour. Not very stealthy but favouring appearance over practicality seems to be Krennic’s thing anyway.

As for Jyn, I think Felicity would make an awesome SW bad guy- love the idea of tiny Jyn sizing up next to gigantic Tarkin. The haircut was fun too- with that Kristen Stewart vibe going on.

3

“Ho ho ho, bitches.” He said holding a big red sack in his hand. Even through the thick curly beard he was wearing, it was still so obviously Tony. You hid behind the drink you were about to take a sip of and burst out laughing.

“Just when you think you’ve seen it all,” Sam shook his head staring at Tony who was making his way over.

“Now, (Y/N), why don’t you come sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what you want for Christmas?” Tony winked at you and you laughed even more. The suit was ten sizes too big for him but he was still so determined to get you all to laugh.

“I’m good, thank you very much, but I’m sure Thor would love to do that!” At the mere mention of his name, Thor smiled and walked over to Tony. He shrieked a little before standing up to ensure that the god couldn’t sit on him.

don’t think about:
-where it would’ve gone if Lillian hadn’t interrupted Kara and Lena^^
-or Lena frantically calling Alex after Kara said yes to going to the gala
-or that she called to find out karas favorite food
-so she could have them at the party
-definitely don’t think about this concept:
Lena: “How could I ever repay you?”
Kara(as supergirl): “Oh, that’s not necessary!”
Kara’s-clumsy-ass: *trips and Lena catches her and kisses her*
Lena: “How’s that?”
Kara: *adorkably nervous giggling*

DONT THINK ABOUT THAT
-or how Lena is actually trying really hard to be that strong and intimidating
-she actually really soft
-don’t think about them trying to out ‘puppy-dog-eye’ each other but both caving at the same time
-don’t think about Lena moving in with Kara and making a joke about how now she doesn’t have to drop in unannounced
(feel free to add)

9

So this was I while ago, but I don’t think I posted my Scout Harding bow build in any detail, so here we go! 

There are details written on each picture, except for the last part of the leather wrapping. 

For that, I wrapped electrical tape sticky side up, and then wrapped the leather strips over that. Glue was only used in spots where the leather would peel up.

5

When I put on my wedding dress I knew it was the one. The gentle sparkle of the dress, the lace detail the champagne colour that perfectly complemented my olive skin.

The way it fell over my hips and followed the curves of my figure.

It was magical.

I never dreamed I would wear a dress like this, hell, I used to think that I would never find love or get married unless I lost weight.

After I chose it there were times I doubted myself, thinking I would be too self conscious to wear my dress, that it was too tight fitting. That maybe I should have tried to lose weight for my wedding.

But As you grow older and you surround yourself with the right people, you begin to realise that what you look like doesn’t really matter to those that love you.

Dan has loved me at all different sizes and on the day of the wedding when I walked into the room he turned and teared as I walked towards him, he looked at me like I was magic.

So I would like to say this one thing to brides to be everywhere, plus size or not. Do not feel you have to change yourself or your size to be happy on your wedding day, your partner loves you for who you are, not just what you look like.

You are deserving of happiness no matter what your size, and you will be the most beautiful person in the room next to your love because you will be glowing with the love you have for each other.

The happy ending is for everyone so please, please let yourself have it.

Instagram: Calliethorpe
Photography: Kirsty Mackenzie

some random hc’s bc i’m chained to this book rn:

  • ok but when soledad has the baby dante spends the night w/ ari a lot bc it’s his senior year so he needs to study/sleep/etc and the baby keeps him up
  • and SOMETIMES ari’s parents go help dante’s parents with the new baby so they have the house to themselves
  • dante doesn’t realize how large he is and how much space he takes up on the bed
  • even when later they live together ari gets like a king sized bed for them but dante still finds his way back over to ari anyway and sleeps on  top of him
  • this is kinda unrelated but lowkey what if gina and susie were secrets girlfriends am i the only one who thought that???
  • i feel like… if ari were to talk to bernardo it would be bad. like it would end bad. i feel like.. bernardo would be a homophobe? 
  • and i don’t think ari would hide dante or anything so like, maybe he’s talk to him a few times somehow until the Gay Thing comes out and his brother is gross about it 
  • and maybe that fucks up dante bc he knows how bad ari always wanted to know his brother or whatever and it leads to one of those cry-fights and he’s like “i don’t wanna get in the way of your happiness” and ari is like “you are my happiness” wow that’s corny but idc
  • basically fuck ari’s transphobe brother lmao
  • ari telling dante about aunt ophelia and franny being together and the house being theirs
  • when they start going there to visit dante starts calling it “the gay house.” ex: hey, do you wanna drive down to the gay house this weekend?”
  • ari awkwardly telling dante that he’s not gonna sell it bc they could maybe live there together someday
  • what if they go to college in tucson or something to start a new life and ari is like “well.. you know i have this house anyway and we would save money… if we just… lived there… together…”
  • dante probably asked ari to marry him like waaaay before it was legal ANYWHERE because he’s an optimist and he k n e w that someday they would be able to, and ari said yes because he believed him. bye.
  • in 2004 when gay marriage was legalized in massachusetts they flew there and got married with like only their parents and dante’s sibling who would be like 14 aka almost the sAME AGE THEY WERE WHEN THEY MET OH MY GOD
  • dante thought they weren’t going anywhere for the honeymoon but ARI SURPRISES HIM WITH TICKETS TO PARIS WHAT THE FUCK
  • dante probably name drops ari all the time “my HUSBAND and i…”
  • oh my god they adopt a baby 1000% don’t fight me on this
  • dante is the most Dad ever, he like always has the baby strapped to his chest. u know the ones.
  • fggfgfgfgfgf dante like never loses his temper except during board games. like.. it’s probably so bad. he’s one of those people who storms out during monopoly when u pass go and collect 200 dollars.
  • ari and the kid (s) just let him win usually
  • RENEWING THEIR VOWS IN EL PASO WHEN THIS AUGUST WHEN GAY MARRIAGE WAS LEGALIZED EVERYWHERE IN THE USA
  • ari is a writer and dante is an artist 
  • and they’re successful and happy and no one fucking dies why do people always wanna kill happy ending lgbt ships??
Transformers Starters - Multiverse Edition

>> “Haven’t you heard? The war is over.”

>> “It seems that the coordinates were wrong–mind telling me if you’re friendly and where I am?”

>> “Have you ever really thought about what you would do when the war ends? If it ever ends…”

>> “Wait why does the energon look like that? That’s the wrong color!”

>> "I can’t believe you’d pick THAT as an alt mode. You’re going to give us away, you know.“

>> "So, what were you thinking when you got THAT paint job?”

>> "How would someone your shape and size even interface?“

>> "Is there something wrong with you? Your optics are such a weird color, I’ve never seen anything like them.”

>> “Do you really think Primus exists?”

>> “So, any conjunxes? What about a spark mate?”

>> “You’re just a dirty Deception/Autobot/Neutral, why should I help you?”

>> “Geez, with how big you are, you MUST be a combiner, right?”

>> "If you could’ve been anything other than a soldier, what would you have been?“

>> "I learned this game from the humans, want to give it a try?”

>> "Do you really think the ones that got away from it all were able to establish colonies somewhere?“

anonymous asked:

I dont understand how can you fetishy pearl so much. Im not saying that because she´s from a family friendly cartoon show, but becuase she is as flat as a skate board. Also I dont think she even has genetalia (Oh god! please dont draw that with a dumb "like this? huuurdy huurr" comment >.<)

Personally I like all chest sizes and really disagree with the idea that a girl needs huge boobs in order to be sexy. The size of the breasts shouldn’t matter, it’s who they’re attached to that matters. As for gems not having genitalia, I’ve seen this complaint before and think it’s kinda nitpick-y. I mean if you wanna get technical, then why would gems even blush if they don’t have a circulatory system? The answer is that it just looks nice, don’t over-think it.

Most of my generation doesn’t seem to grasp that the smartphone is a channel to most of humankind’s accumulated knowledge, and a connection to people and institutions all over the world. Don’t tell me that phones “keep kids from communicating.” They just help them communicate in ways with which your outdated ass is unfamiliar. If that teenager or twenty-something isn’t ::gasp:: hanging in your every word, it might be because you’re interrupting a conversation taking place across six different continents.

For many, it also serves as a money management and banking tool, an alarm clock, a daily planner, a camera, a camcorder, a navigation tool, and much, much more. I don’t call my bank to see how much money I have in checking; I check my phone. I also use my phone to keep up with breaking news, read magazine articles, make announcements, and read entire novels.

Most people my age would not think twice about someone carrying around a checkbook and wallet, along with a briefcase or satchel with an address book, appointment planner, writing utensils, and a book or two, with maybe a big clunky camera slung over their neck. But somehow combining all those things and more into a pocket sized device is… bad?

Anyone who criticizes “these kids and their phones” is simply a dinosaur who needs to either learn how to deal with change or shut the fuck up with their irrelevant opinion.

2

This is the most perfect iteration of these I’ve ever seen. I’ve never encountered a flat pair with that shape of stacked heel so I’m thinking it was tacked on by someone Who Gets It. The original pair is from very early – look at the subtly distinct last and the patch over the heel. Oh god, the chromed clasps. I would murder for a pair of these but they aren’t even my size.

TABI ANKLE BOOTS FROM MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA

3

The moment he introduced you to Clark, Bruce knew that he had made a mistake.  Your eyes had grown almost to the size of saucers, and that was a telltale sign that you were interested in him.  Bruce would know, being your older brother.  He watched irritably as you fawned over the alien.

“Time to go, Y/N.”  He finally interrupted, taking hold of your elbow to lead you away from Clark and out of the Justice League Tower.

“Hang on!”  You called, pulling away from Bruce and running back to Clark.”  Here’s my number.  Maybe we can get coffee or something.”  You offered, smiling before walking back to Bruce with a wide smile.  “I think I’ll be coming to visit here more often.”  Bruce just huffed in response, glaring back at Clark before showing you the way out of the tower.

plant protection charm!

i’ve been researching how to magically protect and help my plants grow, and this is what i’ve found works for me. 

i found three healthy acorns from the tree in my yard (i have a relationship with that tree so i think it’ll work better, but any willing tree should work) ask the tree for its protection and thank it once you’ve found the fallen acorns. take a needle and some thread (i used a pale, earthy green thread) and string it through the acorns. tie the thread tightly so that it makes a small circle, maybe the size of a tiny bracelet. hang the acorns somewhere in your house, i hang it over my sprouting plants but i’m sure above your alter or near your door would work too. 

the oak is considered the king of the plant kingdom, from what i’ve read, and is known for its strength and care of the forest. i’m sure if its willing, it will protect your plants too! seems to work for me 

gabsarc  asked:

hi butterflyy, do you think that if the Lannisters had joined the targaryens at the beginning of the rebellion who'd have been enough to change the outcome of it? thanks!

Um… probably. Army sizes and all. Stuff like that. (I’m no good with strategery, try @racefortheironthrone or @warsofasoiaf there.) Not to mention Tywin Lannister being a far more skilled administrator than the losers Aerys was appointing as his Hands in the original history.

But the real question is, why would Tywin want to? That’s the whole point – for nearly 20 years, Aerys piled insult over insult on Tywin, undermining his decisions and making him look incompetent in front of the lords of the realm, insulting/assaulting his wife, rejecting him as a “servant” when he requested a betrothal of Cersei and Rhaegar, and the straw that broke the camel’s back, stealing his heir Jaime and making him a Kingsguard. It would take a lot to bring Tywin back to the Targaryen fold, and the fact that Aerys was delusional enough to believe that the Lannister army at the gates of King’s Landing was there to help him without any overtures from his side at all… well, Aerys evidently was delusional enough, and that was that.

It would have to be a radically different history for the Lannisters to be on the royalist side during the Rebellion. Either Aerys would have to be dead (in which case so many things are different I can’t even factor the possibilities), or Aerys would have needed a serious personality transplant to be sane enough to actually realize how much he needed Tywin and what he’d need to do to get him back. Which not only would require releasing Jaime from his vows, but also probably a promise of Viserys for Cersei, at the very least, just as a start on making up for all those years of abuse. Though that wouldn’t make Cersei the future queen, which is what Tywin really wanted, unless he and Aerys somehow turn on Rhaegar and, idk, offer his head to the rebels as a peace offer (which still probably wouldn’t work enough, because it’s Aerys that perverted justice and the feudal bond with his executions of Rickard and Brandon Stark et al)… nevertheless, if that happens, again, infinite possibilities.

Or maybe it would have to be a history where Tywin never left Aerys at all. Again, Aerys needs a personality transplant here, and/or Jaime never becomes Kingsguard. (Maybe Jaime follows his head and not his other head heart for once.) But either way, it’s a very different course of events with Tywin running damage control in King’s Landing, hopefully preventing the executions and mockeries of trials, certainly keeping Aerys from demanding Robert and Ned’s heads, and in general doing all he can to keep the whole thing with Rhaegar running off with Lyanna from blowing up. And if that’s so, then the Rebellion never has a reason to get going in the first place. A far nicer history, hopefully… a very very improbable one, but still, nice.

I think we need to talk about Mikey’s anger. 

In “Journey to the Center of Mikey’s Mind”, when his brothers are trying to find Mikey’s inner self they’re confronted by 4 aspects of his personality. Anger, Gluttony, Annoying, and Weird. 

Out of all of his personality traits: Anger is the biggest. While his other personality traits are regular sized with the exception of his annoying side which happens to be quite smaller than his brothers probably expected. 

But Anger is huge, his anger towers over all the other personality traits and you would think that he would act much more like Raph with his temper and angry outbursts. 

Look at Leo, Raph, and Donnie’s reaction to confronting Mikey’s anger: 

They’re shocked. And while it’s hard to see their exact facial expressions, you can definitely see that Donnie & Leo’s eyes are widened with shock and awe at Mikey’s inner rage. It’s like they never knew Mikey held this much anger within him and that’s what this post is all about: Mikey’s Anger

We all know Mikey to be a laid-back guy with a big heart, he doesn’t like conflict and he would rather have confrontations sorted out with a hug rather than a fist. But he’s willing to fight when push comes to shove and he’ll do anything to protect his family from harm. 

Besides the exception of Leo and Master Splinter, Mikey’s able to keep his anger under control better than Donnie & Raph combined (at least in the 2012 version. Donnie in the 2003 series was the biggest pacifist). He’s able to take a breath and calm down before jumping to conclusions. 

So imagine their surprise when they confront his anger head on inside of Mikey’s mind. How this towering giant is looking down on them and their sudden realization that their baby brother has been able to keep control of this monster of emotion. 

And the realization that Mikey has more pent up anger than he leads on

Mikey keeps his anger under control by moving forward and staying kind & positive in the situations around him. But that doesn’t mean that his anger is gone because it’s a constant part of who he is. 

Can you imagine if Mikey lets this anger loose on a enemy or even worse: on one of his brothers? I think he has enough anger inside him to kill someone. 

This was a great insight of Mikey’s mind and how it works, but I just hope that they don’t throw this entire episode away in favor of more slap stick situations. I want Leo, Raph, and Donnie to treat Mikey a little different after saving his inner self. 

(PS: Please Don’t Remove Anything From This Post. Thanks

anonymous asked:

Damian (who’s 13) and ? An arabic child is the 4 best fighter of batfamily.go over it.

Anon, I think you’re genuinely misunderstanding me here. And if you think I’m trying to be dismissive of the importance of Damian in terms of respectful representation, I apologize. That would be a mistake on my part and I’ll do better to parse my meaning in the future. 

I don’t agree entirely with King’s listing – does any fan? We all have our opinions – and my only (stated) issue was that I thought Kate and Damian should have been switched as they are now, not in the idea that Damian could not improve and get better with age. 

That is why I’m confused – Damian is still Top 5 in my personal listing. I was only ever talking publicly about switching him and Kate. I don’t understand entirely why that became a lightning rod for controversy outside of I probably made some mistakes in speaking before and not clarifying my opinion or my respect for Damian and representation. 

I still don’t know who brought Tim into this or why, that seems to be part of a fandom conversation at large and not to do with my posts or stated opinions which is why this morning’s inbox full of these messages were amusing to me at first. 

Also being lost in the conversation is how important Kate is. An adult woman, an open lesbian, and a known Jewish superhero. These are all things that are important in these days, too, and are getting overlooked a lot in fandom. And is at least part of why I love Kate so much on top of her being a fantastic character. There should be celebration that both her and Damian as well as POC family members like Cassandra and Dick dominate the Top 5 regardless of where you personally place them within that Top 5. I never meant to express anything but happiness at that fact. 

So hopefully that satisfies everything. I doubt it will. I’d almost bet money it won’t. But hopefully we can at least let the attempt at fandom humor on my part die down. 

So, last night I got drunk with some friends and was about to “self-sabatoge” something good that could be coming my way with a random hook up that I knew I would have regretted later….

I’m glad I didn’t. 

This guy is such a gentleman to me. I think I am just so insecure and have to relearn dating all over again. I went over to this guys place last night because I missed him and just needed to reassure myself that he was still into me. Even though we have a date today after I get off work. Drunk Kim is too bitter and jaded to think that someone could be genuinely interested in her, and really they just want to have sex. So, last night was sort of a “test” for me if I wanted to continue meeting him. I went over to his place after I was drinking. Insecure self was worried he would try and use that to his advantage and sleep with me. Instead, we had a wonderful “high school” like innocent make out session for a good 30 minutes before I jumped into an uber to go home. He did not once try to take my clothes off. He did not once put his hands in places that he shouldn’t have. He always stopped if I was thinking/feeling it was getting too intense. He’s this very gentle delicate flower to me, and I am so scared of not knowing what to do with it. Daily thoughts go through my mind like, “just go meet some other dude before you get hurt”. I have such a fucked up concept of men because of all the past failed “almost relationships” through my own insecurities and just how men have treated me in the past. 

I just need to remind myself and stay positive that one day I will meet someone who will take all these insecurities away. I just have to make sure not to self-sabatoge before the good can happen.

3

My Hyrule Historia is only ¾ the size of the new Art & Artifacts! I didn’t think it would be so thick even though I knew it had over 400 pages of art instead of the 240 or so of the Historia.

I like the color scheme they got going as well, they even match with the LoZ mangas I recently bought.

anonymous asked:

Aobajousai second and third years +Kuroo when their girlfriend tearfully admits she’s afraid to take her bra off around them because she wears a padded bra and so her boobs aren’t as big as they think it is? D:

(This is p cute! Because it was requested gender-specific, I used female pronouns here.)

Oikawa: In an attempt to lighten the mood, Oikawa would give an overblown reaction of shock. It would not go over very well. He would explain to her that all he wanted was to see her smile, and she should because he didn’t care about her breast size. He could understand why she would be sensitive about it, but to him it just wasn’t a big deal. He’d give her a playful kiss on the nose, and an equally lighthearted squeeze of the boob, telling her she had nothing to be worried about.

Iwaizumi: This poor baby would have no idea how to react. Iwaizumi would be confused as to why his girlfriend was so upset, because he honestly though all bras were padded. After receiving a rather awkward explanation of what a push-up bra was, he’d ask again why she thought it was a big deal. With a straight face, Iwaizumi would let her know he still loved and was attracted to her, and that she should learn to appreciate her body just as much as he did. (”Besides,” he might add, “I’m a thigh man.”)

Matsukawa: “It’s cool, __, mine are small too,“ Matsukawa would joke dryly, trying to lighten the tense mood between them. When his girlfriend’s welling tears started to spill out, he realized he’d screwed up big time. He would pull her into his chest, ruffling her hair as he hugged her. He really didn’t care about her size; in all honesty, he sort of preferred smaller breasts. Matsukawa held her for a little while, until he felt her stop crying, then tried again, “The best gifts come in small packages, right? I like you the way you are.”

Hanamaki: It had always worried Hanamaki’s girlfriend that he could be so hard to read, but never more than in this situation. He would regard her silently for a minute or two, a quizzical look on his face, his eyes all over her body. “So you wear push-up bras, huh?” he’d finally say, more of a statement than a question. “And your boobs aren’t as big as they look.” She would nod shyly at his recap. Hanamaki would finally crack a smirk, joking, “Wanna show me what they really look like?” and earning himself a flick in the forehead. 

Yahaba: As his girlfriend makes her confession, Yahaba can’t help but let out a tiny giggle before leaning in to press a kiss to her nose. Honestly, he was a little happy that she decided to tell him this; it showed that she trusts him, and that she wants to be truthful in their relationship. Sure, he likes big breasts as much as any man, but he likes her much more than any individual feature she might have. He strokes her hair and lets her know she’s still beautiful to him until she calms, then jokingly suggests they go bra shopping, this time finding something with a little less padding. 

Kyoutani: With a grumble, Kyoutani would ask his s/o why she was even telling him this. Why did her bra matter at all to him? He wasn’t the one wearing it. When he realized she was tearing up, it would fluster him a little. Dealing with crying people was far from his strong suit. He would stiffly pat her head, unable to find the right words to tell her that he still found her good-looking. As she looked up at him for a more readable reaction, he turned his head to hide a light blush, and grunted, “’s still fine with me.”

Watari: Watari doesn’t necessarily understand why she’s been so embarrassed all this time, but he does his best to be gracious about the situation. As she’s speaking, tears welling in her eyes, he gives her a gentle, understanding smile and nod. When she finishes, he puts a hand on her shoulder, and even though he’s blushing over it himself, lets her know that he’s not concerned about her breast size. He likes her for who she is, and if she’s a little smaller up top than he originally believed, it won’t bother him at all. As he tells her so, he pulls her into a comforting hug, and plants a chaste kiss on top of her head. 

Kuroo: Kuroo has always operated under the philosophy that all boobs are good boobs. He’s never been picky about size, color, stretch marks, or anything else. His partner’s revelation wouldn’t particularly shock him, but he would be a little miffed that she thought he would be less attracted to her because her breasts weren’t quite as big with her bra off. He would kindly laugh it off, though, for her sake, letting her know with a coy smirk that if she wanted, he could show her exactly how great he thought her boobs were.

~Liz