Don’t not do something because you think the final product won’t be any good. That you won’t be any good. Sometimes, you surprise yourself and find out that by your standards, you’re not ‘half bad’ (code word for ‘bloody amazing’). But other times, it can be a little sloppy. But think about it. what makes you think it’s a little sloppy? Oh when you compare your work to another. But when it comes to things like art and science (that are quite interlinked) and creativity in general, nothing is ever the same. Call it a fundamental law, call it the one thing that is the truth, call it human nature. So comparison isn’t very accurate. And you know what, maybe you actually haven’t been blessed with the ability to paint something that actually looks decent. Take it from me, a person who dropped visual arts as soon as I could. But that hasn’t stopped me from using brush pens and water colours in my study breaks, because who cares if I can’t even draw people properly, it’s something I kind of enjoy and find therapeutic. Look, all i’m trying to say is, if you want to do something, it doesn’t matter if you think you’re bad at it, or if your teacher thinks you’re bad at it , or if you know you’re bad at it, just do it. Stop getting so caught up in the final product. Not everything you do and create needs to be perfect. Perfection should not be the only thing that motivates you to do the things you like. After all, if humans themselves aren’t perfect, how can the things we create be perfect?
That little clip of NCT Life being filmed in Universal Studies got me worked up coz Hufflepuff Taeyong, Gryffindor Taeil and Sicheng, and Slytherin Doyoung and Yuta are such accurate sortings and I’m lowkey sad that the other members weren’t there because I would love to know which houses they’d choose/be sorted into.
feeling okay enough after a long time to touch you, but accidently turning you
on in public. Like in a restaurant or theater, he’s touching your knee, but
gets distracted and ending up at your inner thigh and you’re dying but it’s
Warnings: None!! Some kind of sexual themes, I guess, maybe??
Word Count: 1,046
A/N: Sorry that it’s kind of short, I’m still not feeling the greatest. I hope it’s okay though.
Many months and
tentative touches had brought you to today—sitting on a stool next to a
shy-smiling Credence in a speakeasy with Newt, Tina, Queenie, and Jacob. You
wished you could say that you were enjoying the company and the night itself,
but to be completely honest, you were just too preoccupied with Credence, who
was absolutely maddening tonight.
Really, it shouldn’t
have been so distracting, but after so long working on his confidence in giving
and receiving positive touches, the way he was with you tonight just struck you
deeply and affected you in more ways than you could admit in such a public
space. The change in him was just so evident to you tonight, heartwarmingly so,
from the second he smiled that small smile of his and grabbed your hand as you
left the apartment.
But that was hand
holding, which, while absolutely adorable, was not what was happening once you
had reached your destination and sat down with your friends. You were now slightly
angled into him because he had sat next to you immediately and pulled you into
his side. It had shocked you, the nonchalance of it, the ease with which he had
grabbed you and pulled you so close to him, but you weren’t about to complain.
It was Credence, after all, your
beautiful Credence. His hand had lazily begun trailing your side for most of
the night now, long, smooth strokes that had distracted you so thoroughly that
you had immediately lost track of the conversation in favor of focusing on the
tingling trail of his fingers.
That was nothing
compared to now though, you realized. Credence had gotten roped into a
conversation with Newt (you weren’t sure what about because Credence) and had not remained attentive
to the path his hand was taking. In order to lean into the conversation,
Credence had removed his hand from your side and had shifted to your knee
closest to him. It had started with slow, maddening circles traced into the
skin there but had gradually shifted…inward. You had known Credence had been
rather taken with how smooth your skin was and all the space there was to touch—and
how you had let him, had wanted him to. So you should have known a distracted
Credence with hands wandering to your knee would end up being distracting for
you. His thumb was currently pressing into your inner thigh, and you could feel
the raised skin of his scars brushing over the tops of your thighs as they
dragged further inward.
The scraping of his skin
against yours and the drag of his thumb was becoming too much, you knew it.
Your breath was hitching, and your tongue was starting to feel heavy in your
mouth. You had to rest your elbows on the table and rest your head in your
hands in order to try to calm down and even your breathing, but Credence was
honestly oblivious to your predicament because his hand was continuing its
path. His thumb was hiking slowly upward to continue tracing its pattern, and
you had to squeeze your legs tightly shut to stop him gently. At this, he
glanced to you in worry but saw the burning flush of your cheeks and the way
your chest moved with your quietly labored breath. A look he was quite familiar
with at this point. He made it look like he was going to kiss your cheek but
instead dragged his mouth by your ear to whisper, “Really?”
Your blush deepened, and
you felt like you’d be red as a tomato when you heard Credence say, “I think
Y/N and I are going to go home now. I’m getting tired.” His voice was quiet as
ever, sounding exactly as reserved as he tended to be, but you had known him
long enough and well enough to hear the slight lilt in his voice that meant he
was amused. You smiled softly as you rose with Credence, taking the hand he had
offered you as you tried to ignore the aching between your legs and the
irritation at the loss of his touch.
Once you were out the
door, Credence pulled you confidently to his side. He leaned down to your ear
to continue the conversation he had begun when he whispered in your ear at the
bar. “Did I really…affect you that much, Y/N?” The softest, most tantalizing
voice in the world. He had to know that, didn’t he?
“Y-Yes, Credence. I
guess just…your confidence. How affectionate you were. How familiar the touches
are. I—I guess it was all just…overwhelming,” you said lamely. You didn’t know
how to explain that every time he touched you was a holy experience and that to
receive such affection from him for extended periods of time was deliriously arousing.
He pulled back from you
slightly, lips tugging up in that quiet smile of his that made your heart
throb. “I don’t know if I’ll ever…be used to how much you want me near you.”
You raised your eyebrows in question, prompting him to continue. “Just…how you
see me, and continue to…see me, but you just keep loving me. And wanting me to
touch you. It’s still…surreal.” He was always trying to find the right words
with a quiet and warm contemplation, and it warmed your heart to hear the
consideration he put into what he said, especially if he was saying it to you.
“Of course, Credence.
You love me—You love me the same way I love you. I think that kind of love is
just always kind of surreal, maybe.” You went to smile brightly at him, the boy
you had grown to love so much but were silenced by the heat in his eyes,
suddenly remembering the discomfort between your legs. The passion he held
inside his quiet exterior never ceased to give you a stunned pause as you were taken
with it completely.
Credence saw you—saw through
you, really (his ability for such accurate and piercing perception was
infuriating)—and pulled you further into his side, letting his fingers trail
down your arms. “I suppose it is.” The words were spoken quietly but in a way
that sounded a whole lot like a promise.
Today we’re joined by Elliott Dunstan. Elliott is an awesome grey-ace trans writer who works in a couple different styles. He’s currently working on an online webnovel (found at Ghosts in Quicksilver), which features an ace main character. When he’s not working on his webnovel, Elliott also writes quite a lot of poetry and he has also published two zines. It’s very obvious that he’s incredibly passionate, as you’ll soon read. My thanks to him for taking the time to participate in this interview.
Please, tell us about
I’m a writer of poetry, mythic fiction and queer literature,
and I’m happiest when I find those three things intermingling with each other.
My primary project right now is Ghosts in
Quicksilver, a web-novel about a 17-year-old wannabe private investigator
who can speak to the dead. The book features characters from all over the queer
spectrum, and the main character is an ace butch lesbian.
I’m also the author of two self-published zines, Deep in the Bone and Home Is Where The Ghosts Are, available
in both print and digital formats on my Etsy store. They’re collections of
poetry and a short story each, the first centered around mythology and the
second telling the story of my semi-haunted apartment.
What inspires you?
Anything and everything. Music is a big one – certain songs
inspire visuals which in turn become stories. I’m also inspired by the
reflection of mythology onto modern day issues and vice versa; the story of Icarus
projected onto somebody’s manic phase, the tale of the Golem in a world where
AI is becoming a certainty, or the story of the forbidden love of Eros and
Psyche recontextualized as a queer love story.
What got you
interested in your field? Have you
always wanted to be an artist?
Always, always, always. I can’t remember a time I didn’t want to be a writer; I learned to read
when I was two and how to write a few years later, and even from very early on
I was scrawling poetry in margins. Not very good
poetry, but poetry nonetheless.
As far as my genres and medium of choice, I prefer to have a
certain amount of control over my work, and the business practices of Cory
Doctorow is probably what inspired me the most directly to do a webnovel. It’s
also a testament to old Dickens novels and Stephen King’s slightly more recent The Green Mile; serial novels have
always been around in one form or another. My poetry zines are a little bit
more directly inspired by ‘zine culture’ in indie writer/musician circles.
Do you have any kind
of special or unique signature, symbol, or feature you include in your work
that you’d be willing to reveal?
I’m not really sure! I suppose there is symbolism I return
to, but in general I think my ‘trademark’ would be the clash between darkness
and humour. I have a very morbid sense of humour, so I manage to find something
funny in almost everything I write. A girl seeing the ghost of her dead sister
is scary. A girl arguing with her
dead sister and hoping nobody else catches on is hilarious. Dionysus going to
the Underworld is a myth. Dionysus catching a cab and striking up a casual
conversation with the cabbie while terrorizing them into driving to the Styx is
What advice would you
give young aspiring artists?
A couple things, I suppose. One, that the whole ‘keep
writing no matter what’ phrase is true. It really is. But having a few bad days
isn’t going to ruin everything. Two, your writing is never going to be perfect. But you have the right to talk it up
like it is, to have pride in your own work, and
to have the courage to open up to criticism and filter out the good from
the bad. There’s a lot of culture around how you’re ‘supposed’ to talk about
something you’re proud of, and I hate it. Be proud of what you’ve made, even if
you know you’ll do better next time.
Where on the spectrum
do you identify?
Oof. Uh, all over the place? Somewhere between gray-ace and
demisexual, or both at once. Or maybe completely asexual – I haven’t been able
to divide up how I feel about things accurately enough to really know. But I
know I’m definitely somewhere in there. The actual label I think is less
important than being in the right general area.
I’m also somewhere on the aromantic spectrum, although that
one’s even harder to pin down. I just know I have a very different way and
intensity of feeling those emotions, so
Have you encountered
any kind of ace prejudice or ignorance in your field? If so, how do you handle it?
I actually haven’t dealt with any direct ace prejudice in my
artistic field, but I do see it a lot on the platforms where I try to market
with social media. I generally deal with it by blocking and moving on –
sometimes it means I’m cutting myself out of a potential audience but I
consider it worth it.
Offline, it’s mostly the pressure to put romance in my books
and stories even when it doesn’t fit, or sexual commentary on my characters
when it really, really isn’t appropriate. I have no interest in explaining to
people whether my asexual character is a ‘top’ or a ‘bottom’. I count that as
ignorance because it’s the running assumption that I’m writing a YA book, it
must have something to do with sex.
Otherwise teenagers won’t pay attention. Whereas what I’ve discovered is that
teenagers and young adults are actually thirsting for a book that doesn’t treat
these topics as the be-all, end-all of human existence.
What’s the most
common misconception about asexuality that you’ve encountered?
You can’t be asexual and attractive. You can’t be asexual
and still have sex. You can’t be asexual and gay. You can’t be ace from trauma.
You can only be ace from trauma. If
you’re aromantic, you don’t have a heart. You can’t be aro and ace, that’s just boring.
Basically, there’s too many to count. Asexuality is
critically, functionally misunderstood in both mainstream straight communities
and queer/LGBT+ circles. I think if I had to pick one, though, it’s the idea
that asexuality is just ‘straight lite’ or ‘gay lite’. Being on the ace
spectrum doesn’t make my attraction to men or women any less potent – it’s just
a different way of feeling and expressing that attraction. And the ‘gay lite’
in particular upsets me because, if two guys are walking down the street
holding hands, no homophobe is going to stop and ask if they’re having sex.
What advice would you
give to any asexual individuals out there who might be struggling with their
That it’s okay to identify as ace and/or aro. Whether it ends
up being temporary, whether it’s a reaction to trauma, whether it’s something
you’ve known for years, whether it poked up its head yesterday – it’s okay to
identify this way. A lot of people are going to try tell you that it’s not, or
that it’s a phase (and what’s so wrong with phases?) and honestly? Ignore them.
Your identity is yours to negotiate, nobody else’s.
Finally, where can
people find out more about your work?
One of the most important things about writing “prophecies” is cliches. Prophecies have been so overdone with certain cliches that people are beginning to tire of the very idea of a prophecy- that doesn’t mean that prophecies are Now Very Bad. It just means that writers have to get even more creative when writing a prophecy.
First, some things to avoid when writing prophecies:
*** disclaimer: as with everything in writing, prophecy techniques are a gray area. Yeah, maybe you can pull it off if you are original enough. But generally, these are just some things that have been used tiresomely before.
1. The Perfect Poem:This means those prophecies you see sometimes that are super dramatic and usually rhyming. I don’t know where it came from, but there seems to be this idea that if something rhymes, it is all of a sudden a Very Important Thing. Additionally- the case of the magical prophecy that always rhymes. You’ve probably seen this before- an ancient prophecy is written on an Egyptian tomb or something, and then the explorer translates is aloud and it flawlessly rhymes in perfect English. If you want to do that, there had better be a reason, because rhymes don’t translate between languages since you are, you know, using different words. Also related: cryptic prophecies. The ones that are jumbled and poetic and it’s hard to tell what it’s saying exactly. These are bad when done just for the poetry and good when done with multiple interpretations in mind. I’ll get back to that.
2. The Delivery: Often when prophecies are delivered, they are delivered in the most dramatic way possible. Again, if done right, this can create a very intense and intriguing scene. But for the most part, people have gotten used to dramatic lighting and strange smelling mist and the seer going into a trance or something. If your prophecy is going to be delivered via Magical Ritual, make it an original magic ritual. Also, making a ritual scene runs the risk of misrepresenting and generally insulting cultures in which certain divination is sacred.
3. The Chosen One: Possibly one of the most popular tropes of all time, The Chosen One is the one the prophecies spoke of long ago, the chosen hero sent to save us all, and totally super done. Chosen Ones can be intriguing characters, but honestly? If you can do something different, do. Don’t jump to Chosen Ones. Really, really put work into avoiding your Chosen Ones. They cause trouble. As a somewhat off topic note, I personally love stories where the hero wasn’t chosen, where is was just coincidence or bad luck or good luck or whatever. The hero isn’t the person who was destined, they were just the one who happened to step up to the plate and swing, prophecy or no. It kind of shows how anyone can be a hero, but a hero isn’t just anyone.
What You Should Do:
Do the opposite of what you don’t do. Yay, I’m so helpful. As a general rule, try to be original. Easier said than done, I know, but give creativity your best shot. As for random tips…
1. Clarity: If your prophecy is going to be poetically unclear, use that to your advantage. Make each line have a double meaning or different possible interpretations that could potentially be true. Surprise your readers and your characters and even yourself- it doesn’t always mean what you think it means. Explore the possibilities.
2. Keep Track of Fate: If your prophecy mentions multiple people or events, make sure to follow through with your story. Don’t forget any details, it has to add up or it will all make no sense. Unless, of course, the point it that the prophecy was wrong.
3. How Much Do They Know?: This one confuses me in a lot of stories. How much do your people know about this prophecy? If the prophecy is ancient or widespread, then there might have been plenty of opportunity to study it. Who knows, maybe they figured out a few lines in the time they’ve had to read it over and over before it became true.
4. Being Cryptic: This is just a quick tip on how you can make your prophecies make less sense- maybe, originally, they made perfect sense. Language and culture is constantly evolving. Maybe the prophecy made perfect sense way back when it was spoken, but now it has been so long that nobody really remembers “brillig” or “slithy toves” even are.
5. Research: I kind of touched on this in point two of the don’ts, but I think it deserves its own spot here. If your method of prophecy is based off of something real, some real oracle or ritual, know your stuff and portray it accurately, or don’t do it at all. This goes from the Ancient Greeks to modern kitchen witchcraft and beyond.
Remember, this story is yours. Make your prophecy your own, too. There can be a million prophecies in the world, but this one is yours, so show how special is in the way only you can.
(1/2) Hi there, I was wondering (although if you don't answer I totally understand), do you bind your breasts at all? I'm writing a fanfic that's set in America during the 1890s, and my OC (Dolores) is non-binary, and I had planned on them binding their breasts, but I'm unsure of how to go about it. Bras were around back then but like... They're really weird?
“(2/2) A corset is out of the question too, especially for a cowboy. But I’ve read that binding with any types of bandages is dangerous for the body. Do you have any opinions on the matter, or maybe any ideas?”
I wear a binder sometimes, but not always. It depends on a lot of factors that are neither here nor there. But anyhow…
I don’t remember the exact history of them, or know how or how well they functioned, but I think nuns were required to wear some kind of linen chest binders at one point? That might have been later on, though.
Unfortunately, I think bandages would be your most historically accurate bet. Like, the vintage #aesthetic of binding with bandages is part of the reason people still make that dumb mistake in the first place.
YES, BINDING WITH ACE BANDAGES IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, but perhaps you could have them use cloth or something that wouldn’t get tighter throughout the day with movement. It would still be potentially dangerous, but so is injecting people with mercury and performing amputations just, like, at some dude’s house. If you’re writing anything set even fifty years ago, safety and accuracy probably aren’t going to intersect a whole lot, and to get sad for a moment, less-than-stellar binding was probably not the most dangerous part of not conforming to the gender binary in the 1890s.
Maybe include a disclaimer about the dangers of ye olde binding practices in your author’s notes.
You could also just make Dolores small-chested enough that they can get away with a tight undershirt and loose tops, if you really want to avoid including them doing something dangerous altogether.
Dylan caught the eye of the new girl who moved in next to him.
Dylan looked over out the window, hearing the moving vans outside. He squinted, looking at the girl standing on the sidewalk, probably the daughter of the couple that was moving in. She stood there, arms crossed with sunglasses and a scarf over her mouth hiding her facial expression, although her body language definitely came off as angry.
For a moment she looked up, locking eye contact with Dylan. He swallowed, to panicked to duck down and hide himself, but she pulled her sunglasses down, looking at him clearer. Then she pulled her hand, waving at him and turned around to look back at the moving vans.
Dylan was oddly enamored by this girl he had never met, he wanted to get to know her better. He was going to be her neighbor now, so he felt as though it might happen naturally, but he made a pact within himself to do something, to go ask her to get dinner or something. Distracted, he didn’t notice her walk into her new house, and when he looked out, he was disappointed to see she was gone.
(*) Hi, I'm back with more question if wouldn't mind. Its another long ask and again you dont have to answer. So First, I always wondered how artists- especially singer like/do/choose music genre, was it influenced by their voice? Like zayn for example, he said 1d music didn't go along with his musical taste. Was it because he knows RnB suits his vocal and he could sing it better? Which comes first, do you think?? Also, maybe the same could applied to songwriting. For their solo stuff (**)
(**) I’d think there will be some
limitation in term of the ability to sing it, where before they have
3 other guys with all type of voice and range. Second, about music
industry. I don’t have a good grasp of music history, I’d love to
hear your thoughts on how nowadays we see that music wasn’t the only
thing that artists have to do/promote, its this elaborate strategy to
make them seemed open to public and closer to the fans. Was it always
like that/since when? Would it happen in the 60-70’s
(***) if it weren’t for the lack of
media outlets then. Or maybe just less documentation on it.
Information access is so available, worldwide and free though not
necessarily accurate. It’ll be easy to lose focus, to care more about
the echoes and not the sound. Because why not? Its there. Last, would
you mind maybe recommend other blogs that talk about 1D music or just
music in general. I dont have musical background so its always
interesting to read and compare from different perception/mindset
(****) Music is what interest me the
most about 1D, and I hope they create more music in any kind (solo or
otherwise). I think we became fans for various reasons, not one more
valid than others, and its important to remember that. I’m trying not
to lose focus. Thankyou for your time, friend. Also, IS there anyway
to send long post without breaking it to parts?? tumblr is a new
thing for me :)
I will hope to answer you as completely as possible. I’m sorry that it’s been so busy for me and I can’t promise you’ll see this. These are all y own opinions, based on a little bit of research. Please feel free to comment.
The music genre question is a good one. I think there are a few major reasons artists gravitate to certain genres. Some are personality-based, and others are pragmatic.
1. Popularity. Obviously, most musicians want as many people to like their music as possible, for creative as well as financial reasons. This is why Taylor Swift crossed over from country to pop, and why Beyoncé crossed over to pop, and why The Weeknd morphed from a dark R&B artist to pop. Pop is where the huge listenership, and the $$, is. It doesn’t matter how many Grammys The Weeknd has won, he doesn’t have nearly the fanbase that One Direction has. I’m sorry if this sounds so simplistic. The reason that so many pop and rock artists want to try EDM right now, and vice versa, is because everyone wants to expand their fanbase– and music distribution has completely changed since streaming became popularized. Traditional radio stations are still influential, but no longer control popularity. The instant availability of music on the internet, through streaming platforms, iTunes, Youtube, etc., means that artists like Chance the Rapper and Stormzy can build their own audience without label help. This is very relevant to established artists like One Direction, who are no longer dependent on a big label for promotion. Promotion can be faster, cleaner, more efficient.
I feel as though some of the early stuff isn’t - that - accurate because it actually can help to think positively about some mental issues such as depression, anxiety or lack of self-confidence, but no amount of that will stop someone from being autistic. Perhaps we need to worry less - but in that case, our issues need to be taken seriously and not dismissed.
The early stuff doesn’t particularly apply to me, but that later stuff about “not thinking about other people” is spot on.
I’ve been told this kind of stuff a lot in my life, and maybe there’s a certain truth to it in my particular case given my background and tendencies towards laziness, procrastination and a degree of idealism and perfectionism which can come off as entitled, but I can’t help but think that the fact that people with conditions such as autism and aspergers get told they aren’t thinking about other people all the time is telling.
I don't know if you do Halemore but if you do, number 11 with them? If you don't ship them, either Derek Hale or Jackson Whittemore with 11. Thanks!!!💚💚
I don’t write ships, but I will write this for Derek!!!
#11. “Will you just shut up for a minute and let me think?!”
“What about this one?” Derek asked, staring at the box intently. “It says it has early detection technology, so it’s probably more accurate, right?” I sighed, scanning the shelves as I bit my lip, brows drawn together. “Oh, or maybe this one.” I pinched the bridge of my nose as Derek picked up yet another brand. “Babe, this kind says it-”
“Oh, my God,” I snapped, not able to take it anymore. “Will you just shut up for a minute and let me think?!” The words were much harsher than I had intended but I was so on edge right now that I just couldn’t take it anymore.
Meekly, Derek put the box back on the shelf. He moved slowly, afraid that I’d bite him or something, and pulled me into his chest. His large hands smoothed up and down my back, his chin resting on the top of my head as I melted into him.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I didn’t mean to be so…”
“It’s okay,” he chuckled. “This is overwhelming, for both of us. And I can’t even imagine how you feel.”
“Derek, you know that I’m not…upset about this, right?” I asked, pulling back to look up at him with concern. “I mean, if I am- we- are pregnant…I’m gonna be excited. Scared, but excited.”
“I know, sweetheart,” he said softly, offering a gentle grin. “I will be, too. We’ll figure it all out. Together. But first,” he turned back to the intimidating wall of pregnancy tests. “We need to figure out what brand to buy.”
“Step one,” I breathed, placing a hand on my tummy. Derek looked down at me with adoration before placing a lingering kiss to my forehead.
Real quick though, and I’m not gonna go all in on this for many reasons: there’s a reason toxic masculinity is being blamed instead of us talking about it as ‘oppression’. I am only stating this objectively, obviously once this issue is seen for what it is we can learn to adjust and understand the arguments more clearly.
Issues of sexism against women obviously put men as the oppressor bc that’s the reality of it. Women did not and do not create sexist, Patriarchal ideals; men do, and women indoctrinated into them perpetuate them. So issues of sexism against women are, yes, spoken of as oppression coming from men.
Issues of sexism against men- i.e. the suffering, violence, and harmful mentalities and emotional complexes that develop as a result of men being forced to fit into a certain mold/expectation are discussed in terms of Toxic Masculinity bc it’s men that are oppressing men. There is no external oppressor- again, our society is Patriarchal, and so to are all the toxic issues that cause such suffering to men. I keep seeing people talking about how talking about Toxic Masculinity ‘places the blame on men’ but like…
Men did it. It is men’s fault. Literally who else? Everything our society unfairly and strictly expects men to be and the extent to which this is enforced from from the philosophies and mindsets of men in power. Our lifestyles, in regards to how we are socialized,start out with us being told what makes a man a man, for boys to be it and for girls to want it.
The issue here is that the language makes the victims invisible, but acting as if someone other than ‘men’ created Toxic Masculinity/male oppression is….literally absurd idk what you want.
You do have an oppressor. It’s Toxically Masculine men. Now, if one wants to argue that the things being ascribed to Masculinity aren’t Masculine by measure of gender not being a thing, I’ll somewhat agree with you, but that’s never the argument I see being made- only that it’s not right to make men feel bad by saying “Toxic Masculinity” when like…stop defending Toxic Masculinity? Masculinity isn’t the problem. Toxic Masculinity is. Like, would it be better, maybe, if we just started saying Patriarchy? That’d be more accurate, except that word has become both so overused and so fucking mocked that it’s kind of hard to rest discourse on it.
So honestly stop thinking (or saying, if you do this) that Masculinity in and of itself is the problem, but also stop thinking that the term ‘Toxic Masculinity’ is a bad word. It is literally Masculinity perverted, suppressed, hyper-controlled, writ-large etc that embodies and creates the rigid and unattainable standards men are told to live by. And honestly while I understand, it’s just frustrating to see that any insult to the term ‘Masculinity’ is met so bitterly that we can’t even call its Toxic form what it is. It’s not saying Masculinity is Toxic, it’s talking about the Toxic form of Masculinity.
Focus on the adjective.
That being said, remember that Toxic Masculinity creates male victims. Relies on male victims. Feeds off of male victims. I used to see more people talking about this but I think people are forgetting that even though Patriarchy is the system we live in, Patriarchy also only rewards masculinity of a certain type, in certain conditions, and punishes all else, thereby forcing men into a certain niche or telling them they should do anything to attain it. Just because men are ‘on top’ doesn’t mean there’s no downside.
yeah i kinda avoid writing about Mitch's ED outright because i find it hard to. I've never had one or known someone who went through one and research helps but it's still kind of hard to write something i've never dealt with, and i never want to write his ED in a way that would upset people who've had or have one. It's not okay that I gloss over his ED but i've been trying to find a way to write it accurately without making it seem like he beat it in 2 minutes you know? i want to be better at it
yeah it’sss a process, it’d help to i think like, do research on it maybe??? or talk to someone that had/has an ED but ONLY if they’re comfortable with doing so, just to give their insight and stuff, but yeah i can understand why ppl would be wary of it
I’m thinking that I was a lonely, hopeless person, and I might have fallen in love with the first thing that showed me a hint of kindness and safety. And I’m thinking maybe he knew that—maybe not actively, but maybe he wanted to be that person for someone. And maybe that worked for who I was before. Maybe it doesn’t work for who—what I am now.
Hey I'm sorry if I'm being rude or offensive, but I was confused by your latest post. I understand someone equating autism to cancer is AWFUL, but why did it bother you to have autism equated to Down's Syndrome? I think I see them both fairly similarly, as a mental difference that will change someone's life in varying ways, but not something that you "suffer" from or makes a person at all lesser. If I'm missing something obvious or being inconsiderate, would you help me understand?
Down’s syndrome people tend to have lower than average I.Q.’s
There are no famous down’s syndrome scientists, or generals and only a handful of famous artists
Autistic people tend to have higher than average I.Q’s
Almost every famous artist, general and artist is autistic
Einstein, Nikola Tesla, Mulan, Saladin, Kind Richard the linonheart, Madame Curie, Emily Dickinson were all autistic and are not really like down’s syndrome people.
It’s true many Down’s syndrome people are very kind, caring and and are usually more attentive to caring for others and being empathetic than autistic people, and maybe all people in general.
Autistic people are seen as having a lower I.Q. when in truth they tend to have higher I.Q.’s to to equate autism to down’s syndrome really bothers me that it perpetuates that stereo type.
Down’s syndrome people i think in many ways are better than all people autistic or allistic all the ones I’ve meet were the most kind and fun people to be around, but need to be supervised usually 24/7 most autistic people do not need constant supervision.
so to compare the two, ya not accurate, not cool, harmful…i could go on and on.
Can inattentive ADHD seem like combined due to lack of sleep? I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD as a teenager and clearly not hyperactive. Now with almost 30, I get the restlessness, too. But also, I always kind of bounce my leg, play with pencils and such, I have been doing that forever, it's just very subtle. Maybe I wasn't diagnosed accurate because my hyperactivity isn't noticeable or it's because I don't sleep enough, I can't tell. What do you think?
It’s normal to fidget a bit regardless, and it’s also normal for someone with Inattentive ADHD to display some Hyperactive/Impulsive symptoms, and vice versa.
To have Combined ADHD, you would need to display at least five (or six) of the criteria listed for Inattentive type AND at least five (or six) of the criteria listed for Hyperactive/Impulsive type. If the only symptom you have is fidgeting, then you don’t have Combined type.
The circumstances around jho were very different though and a lot of people have left the fandom since then. Maybe my perspective isn't entirely accurate but I doubt they can expect the same kind of fandom engagement tbh especially since he brought the kid back. Ever since those pap pics my dash is a wasteland most days and I follow over 200 blogs. But I think the single will still do well it's just that the longer the stunts drag on the more passive people will become.
I agree, things are not improving, fandom wise. If anything, it’s the opposite. I am waiting to see what happens around the debut, how much the excitment and activity jumps up in the days right before and after it and I think we’ll get a good idea from that. It all depends on how many shitty stuff they keep throwing at us, obviosuly. I’m pretty distarcted lately, so I’m not having a proper, substantial idea of fandom’s numbers. Are people really living more and more? Is it general or just larries, louies, harries etc?