i think i've only seen it completely all the way through about three times

Anchor

Vulnerable Shawn based off of the first line of Running Low: Weeks on end I’m on the road / Start to lose my sense of home / But not based on the song in its entirety. It’s not a breakup imagine, not in the slightest. 

Your name: submit What is this?

~~~

Your phone vibrating on the desk in front of you forces you to look up from your physics notes. Shawn’s name is on the screen, and you hesitate for a moment, but only a moment before you snatch your phone off the desk and speedily walk out of the library, leaving your friends and your books behind. Shawn knew you were studying at the library tonight because you had been texting him earlier. He usually respects your study time, and anytime he knows you’re doing something. He’ll text you randomly even if you’re busy, but he usually only calls you if something is important. You both have busy schedules and are very understanding of the fact that there are certain days you have to be content with just a few text messages throughout the entirety of the day.

“Hello?” You answer as soon as you step out into the cool nighttime air.

“Hi y/n.” Comes his reply, and you wonder if there is something wrong, although if there is, he’s not saying it right away because he lets a moment of silence hang between you after he greets you. 

So you speak, “Hey baby, what’s going on?”.

He exhales loudly on the other side of the phone, so loudly that you can hear it on your end. You can tell that he’s frustrated or exhausted or something, but you don’t know right away exactly what his emotions are at the moment. “I just miss you, I need you here with me. ” He responds. 

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anonymous asked:

I've seen a post (and a post about it) about how Iroh could be just as harsh as Mai and that zutarians are taking her words out of context. Like, Iroh telling Zuko to stop trying to find the Avatar or reminding him about his past trauma is the same as Mai making such comments. Like, I pretty much understand Iroh right there; many parents tell the true to their kids even if it is harsh. Mai on the other side not even tries to reassume Zuko; she simply doesn't care.

Oh brother. Sounds like Maiko fans really need to reach so they have to throw Iroh under the bus. Iroh bringing up Zuko’s issues has nothing in common with Mai doing it. They are like the exact opposite.

Iroh’s Love Vs. Mai’s “Love”

Iroh: Sailing into Fire Nation waters … Of all the foolish things you’ve done in your sixteen years, Prince Zuko, this is the most foolish!
Zuko: I have no choice, Uncle.
Iroh: Have you completely forgotten that the Fire Lord banished you? What if you’re caught?
Zuko: I’m chasing the Avatar! My father will understand why I am returning home!
Iroh: You give him too much credit. My brother is not the understanding type!

Here’s why Iroh brings up Zuko’s banishment. He is worried about him getting caught since he’s not supposed to be sailing in Fire Nation waters. The concern is for his safety. 

Mai: So, we’re tracking down your brother and Uncle, huh?

This is really the only time Mai ever even broaches the subject of Zuko’s banishment. She is happy even though they are hunting him as a traitor. She is more concerned with his looks than his safety.

Zuko: We’re going home! After three long years, it’s unbelievable!
Iroh: It is unbelievable. I have never known my brother to regret anything.
Zuko: Did you listen to Azula? Father’s realized how important family is to him!   He cares about me!
Iroh: I care about you! And if Ozai wants you back, well, I think it may not be for the reasons you imagine.
Zuko: You don’t know how my father feels about me. You don’t know anything!
Iroh: Zuko, I only meant that in our family, things are not always what they seem.

This is Iroh’s reaction to Zuko going home to his abuser. He doesn’t want Zuko to go home because he doesn’t trust Ozai. Zuko yells at Iroh, and Iroh still accompanies Zuko in order to protect him. He only brought it up because he knew Ozai didn’t love Zuko and he was concerned. He did it because he cares.

Mai: Aren’t you cold?
Zuko: I’ve got a lot on my mind. It’s been so long, over three years since I was home. I wonder what’s changed. I wonder how I’ve changed.
Mai: I just asked if you were cold, I didn’t ask for your whole life story. Stop worrying.

Here’s how Mai reacts to Zuko going home for the first time in 3 years to a father who she knows burned and banished him. Mai dismisses Zuko when he tries to talk about it. She just wants to kiss him.

Jee: I’m sick of taking his orders! I’m tired of chasing his Avatar! I mean, who does Zuko think he is?
Iroh: Do you really want to know?
Iroh: Try to understand. My nephew is a complicated young man. He has been through much.

Here’s how Iroh reacts to Zuko’s anger problems. He tries to get the crew to have empathy for Zuko because he has had such a hard life.

Zuko: My life hasn’t been that easy either, Mai.
Mai: Whatever. That doesn’t excuse the way you’ve been acting.

Here’s how Mai reacts to Zuko showing anger problems as a result of his hard life. She doesn’t care and doesn’t want to hear any more.

Iroh: Prince Zuko, have you forgotten what happened last time you dueled a master?
Zuko: I will never forget.

Here’s how Iroh brings up the subject of how Zuko’s Agni Kai. He is concerned that Zhao is going to burn him.

Mai: Zuko, it’s just a dumb meeting. Who cares?
Zuko: I don’t.
Mai: Well good. You shouldn’t. Why would you even want to go? Just think about how things went to the last war meeting you went to.

Here is how Mai brings up the subject of the Angi Kai. She reminds him of it to change the subject because the war meeting bores her.

Iroh: And then what!? You never think these things through! This is exactly what happened when you captured the Avatar at the North Pole! You had him, and then you had nowhere to go!
Zuko: I would have figured something out!
Iroh: No! If his friends hadn’t found you, you would have frozen to death!

When Zuko goes off to do to a prison break without telling him, Iroh confronts him angrily. He is upset because Zuko is putting himself in dangerous situations and he is fearful of losing him. The only time he yells at him is because he cares. He is trying to stop him from doing the wrong thing.

Zuko: How did you know I was here?
Mai: Because I know you so well.
Zuko: But, how-
Mai: The warden’s my uncle, you idiot. The truth is, I guess I don’t know you. All I get is a letter? You could have least looked me in the eye when you ripped out my heart.

When Zuko goes off to do to a prison break without telling her, Mai confronts him angrily. It’s not because she was worried about him. She is mad that their relationship ended. She wants to stop him from doing the right thing. Basically, Iroh loves Zuko. Mai loves being in a relationship with Zuko.

Succumb

Arc-V AU where ¾ bracelet girls said ‘fuck it’ and joined Zarc because after all the shit they’ve been through I would have quit

Idk where this came from but the idea of the girls using the dragons is really appealing to me and like for some reason I really like ‘protags give up and fall into darkness’  trope lol.

Also I incorporated the “Yuu boys are actually their dragons” theory cause I love it.


Yuzu runs as fast as her tired legs will let her. The once beautiful ocean-sided town in the Fusion dimension is now in shambles and not a single soul besides Yuzu can be found. With the town deserted the only sounds that can be heard are Yuzu’s harsh breathing, her steps against the ruined ground, and the three metal bracelets hooked onto her belt loop that cling every time she takes a step.

She’s so tired. The remaining Lancers are nowhere to be found and each day Zarc’s reign expands further and further throughout the dimension.

Maybe I should just stop fighting. Just like….

Yuzu shakes her head.

No I can’t. I have to save them. All of them.

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anonymous asked:

you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!! <3

anonymous asked:

Maybe a cute, short Drabble of merarthur being rescued from rocks by Vivi and Lewis? He doesn't know or trust these humans yet, so he's highly defensive and scared at first.

I’m basing Mer!Arthur’s design off of @ectoimp‘s and @arthur-tristan-kingsmen‘s design of him. 

The vicious wind and rain howled around the car, making it shake. Vivi was almost afraid that they’d be blown off the road, and on a mountainside road such as this, that would mean certain death.

“Wow…” Lewis couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t a little nervous himself. “I knew Florida weather could be bad but I didn’t think it would be like this.” It wasn’t raining very hard, but the wind was making the drops land hard on the windshield. Lewis could see all the trees nearly coming loose from the ground.

“Just our luck that we came here during a hellish storm, huh?” Vivi grinned a little, and Lewis had to laugh.

“Yeah, sounds about right. I wish the client would have mentioned that little tidbit.” But at least it all worked out with helping the spirit of their client’s uncle move on, and the pay was nice too. Lewis would forgive the little miscommunication this time.

They turned a corner and Vivi smiled as she leaned against the passenger side door. The ocean was wild with waves and even here it was really cool to watch them. She had seen the ocean only a few times in her life and it always astounded her. She had always talked to Lewis about going scuba diving at one point when they had the chance.

Not in this weather though. She was glad there weren’t any boats out there either. Nobody would be crazy enough to go out there in this weathe-

Vivi’s eyes widened and she quickly sat up in her seat. “Lewis stop the car!”

“What-?”

“Quickly!”

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Keep me where the light is

Member : Min Yoongi/Suga Aka the reason of all my struggles.  

Request : Yoongi or Taehyung Fairy au fluff 😍 when you find him lying in park or some other place and take care of him 💞 thank you. I changed it up a little hope you dnt mind 


Originally posted by jongdaeisabun

It was just another lazy day at home. Your roommate was gone for the week, having contracted a bad cold and used it as an excuse to go back home, leaving you alone in the dorm. You filled the emptiness of silence without her continuous loud laughter with an even louder music, going through the homework you’ve been piling up out of pure laziness.

There was a loud thud from the inside of the shared bedroom. You turned the music down, just to make sure it wasn’t your brain creating a sweet distraction from the constant staring at the words which at one point seemed to all blend into a huge incomprehensive mess. After listening for a few seconds, stillness settling into the small dorm, you decided that it was indeed just the trick of your own imagination.

Bending down to replay the music from your phone when the sound reiterated once more, even louder than before. You jumped to your feet grabbing the first thing that looked like a weapon, which in this case was a small scissors that honestly couldn’t even hurt a fly, but to you it seemed the deadliest among the pile of papers and pens.

You made your way to the room, as slowly and carefully as you could afford with the silence amplifying the stomps of your feet against the floor, trying to listen further for any kind of movement from inside. You turned the doorknob, storming inside the room like a soldier ready for combat. One hand covering the soft side of the scissors while the other was still on the doorknob. But, there wasn’t anything nor anyone roaming around, or what you thought to be a thief, he was there, laying still on the ground as if lifeless, if not for the light rise in his chest you would have deemed him to be dead.

The man looked human but there was a glow illuminating from his entity. Not the romantic, love at first sight glow, his body was literally beaming with a faint silver light that enveloped his body like a cocoon contrasting with the slightly darker gray in his hair that seemed to fall just perfectly over his forehead. The hand you held up in defense was brought down to your side, he didn’t look like he was any kind of dangerous for a man who appeared out of nowhere, on the contrary he seemed like he needed help.

You took a few steps until you were towering over him, intently observing his soothing breathing, the quiver in his eyes as they moved under the tightly shut eyelids, and the way his full plump lips parted as he breathed. He was sleeping, or at least that’s what it looked like.

Don’t touch him Your mind, and senses, screamed when you sunk to your knees, your fingertips hovering over the bruise on his cheek, having a better visual of the blood damped strands of hair around the bad looking cut of his forehead that you couldn’t see before. For a moment, you did nothing but stare at his porcelain perfect looking complexion that felt softer than a baby’s skin, partially in admiration and partially in envy.

“ Are you okay ?” You whispered mostly to yourself, your voice getting caught in your throat, when his eyes squeezed tighter in pain as you tried to brush away the few hairs that stuck to the wound. The glow grew stronger, blinking a few times before fading completely. His sudden movement made you freeze to the core, his hand firmly gripping your wrist, yanking your fingers away from him. It took you a moment to process, jerking your hand away and moving back, pointing the ’ weapon’ you had at him.

He opened his eyes, a mesmerizing blue to them that disappeared instantly settling to a deep brown, sitting up. “ What are you going to do with it ?” He scoffed in a hoarse deep voice, almost as captivating as his looks “ Tickle me ?”. You didn’t have time to feel offended by his words, although it was present in the back of your mind. He squirmed in his place, letting out a low grunt of discomfort as he moved to face you, crossing his legs in front of him.

“ What … Who are you ?” You tilted your head a little, only now thinking about it, your dorm was on the sixth floor. You turned glancing at the only slightly opened window, it was impossible for him to climb up, at least not without being seen. You looked back at him, meeting his steady gaze, studying you the same way you were him.

“ Who are you ? ” He asked mimicking your tone.

“ You’re the one who broke into my house, you know ” Your voice rose a little in frustration, making him flinch by how loud you were being to his sensitive, sleep ridden ears.

“ I didn’t mean to, this was as far as I could go so calm down. I’ll leave ” He stood up, his mind going white for a moment with how fast he moved, stumbling back until he landed on the edge of the bed “ Maybe not ” He breathed out rubbing his temples.

You followed his lead, getting to your feet once more, putting just enough distance between the two of you just staring at him not sure whether to offer help, whatever that would be, or to call the police on the stranger. You sighed, letting your guard down completely, how ever the hell he was able to go in or who he was didn’t really matter he was questionably a human who needed help. Blame it on your kindness, blame it on your curiosity.

You looked through your nightstand, passing him with your gaze not even once wavering away from his deep hooded eyes. You were messing things around, creating a loud disrupting noise, murmuring something to yourself quietly.

“ What do you think you’re doing ?” He hunched back when you reached for his forehead with a cotton ball.

“ You need to treat that, stay still ” You pulled him back by his shirt, kneeling down between his legs to reach his face better.

“ What’s the use in that, if it’s going to heal on its own anyways ?” He scoffs pushing your hand away. You rolled your eyes at him, shaking your head in dismay.

“ What’s the use in living if you will die anyways ?”

“ I won’t die ” He mumbled under his breath. You cleaned the blood off his scraped cheek, earning a few low grunts from him as the alcohol settled on the cut, it looked like someone punched him square in the face. He sighed when you pulled away to get a bandage, which happened to be a very pinky and girly one, courtesy of your roommate.

“ Pink ? Really ?” He whined, pouting, but not moving away this time instead leaning slightly into your touch. He seemed to be letting his guard down.

For a split second, you saw his hair lighten up into the same color of the bandage, before settling into a light red. You furrowed your eyebrows and again you found yourself silently watching him, curiosity mixed with a little of fear brewing in your mind.

“ I didn’t think I was that beautiful ” He joked seeing the way you were lost in him.

“ Who are you ?” You breathed out, tilting your head waiting for an answer he was not giving. You had to ask over and over again, while trying to fix his forehead without hurting him even more.

“ Stop that ” He said, gripping your wrist, starting to get frustrated with your repeated questioning. You shook your head, slapping his hand away from yours, “ I won’t until you tell me who you are and how you got in. So, save us both the time and just tell me ”

“ You humans call us fairies” He spoke as if he was ashamed of the word which only made you chuckle at his pouty expression, unable to make fun of him.

“ Hmm, I see” You stood back up, messing his hair on top of the gauze to cover it, looking away for a moment then back at him with a smirk “ Do I get three wishes for helping you ?”

“ I’m not joking, I am a fairy ” He insisted when you laughed louder.

“ I’m not joking either. So, Mr. Fairy, what happened to you that you ended up in my room ?” You plunged down on the other side of the bed, leaning back on your hands, your eyes still on him.

“ Yoongi, just call me Yoongi ” Having had enough of your sarcastic tone, he gave up leaning back against the mattress shutting his eyes for a second “ And it’s a long story ”

“ Well, I’m not going anywhere, you can tell me. I’ll gladly hear you out” He sat back up, squinting his eyes at you then letting a short smile twist in his expression before he hid it away.

“ Why are you doing this for me ? You don’t even know who I am ”

“ I do though. You’re a fairy named Yoongi with a shitty temper ” You smiled back when he glared, letting it linger for a moment, “ I’m also an incredibly nice person so yeah, you should be thankful you landed on me. Or else you would’ve been sitting in a police cell right now ” He finally let his gummy grin show, his eyes disappearing into the smile in the cutest way possible. If he was captivating while serious, this was almost mesmerizing, maybe he was magical after all.

“ Thank you ” He whispered, hoping you wouldn’t hear, but still saying it loud enough for you to do so.

“ But seriously, do I get three wishes ?”


Why did I even think I can write fluff xD ? Sorry anon if this wasn’t what you had in mind <3

anonymous asked:

Hey there! I've been following your blog for a while and I think we have pretty similar tastes! Do you maybe have any Clexa fic recs? I'm into AU's more than canon, and I've read pretty much all the really popular/completed ones...I'm willing to invest myself in a WIP if it's good though!

Hi! First, thanks for sticking with me! I have read a bunch of Clexa fanfiction at this point, so I’ll try to do my best to give you a few recommendations. I will admit, many of my favorite fanfictions are works in progress, but that’s okay! There’s so many amazing fanfictions, and they’re being updated constantly. Hopefully you’ll find something new to enjoy. 



Authors


These are a couple authors that I follow religiously. I enjoy their writing style regardless of what they choose to write about, and recommend any Clexa fictions that they have written. I’ll try to include as many tumblr blogs as possible, otherwise, most, if not all, can be found on Archive of Our Own.


C_AND_B *

Chrmdpoet or @chrmdpoet

Clarkesquad or @clarkesquad

Coeurdastronaute @coeurdastronaute **

EffortlesslyOpulant or @effortlessly-opulent

Kendrene

LordVoldyFarts or @aliciaclvrk

talentedgemx or @talentedgemx

thrace AO3

transientpermanence or @theahhamoment​ ***

Thebaddestwolf AO3 or @hedaswolf

Wariangle AO3 or @wariangle


Amazing, fluffy one-shots and prompts written in second person. Check it out, even if you’re wary of 2nd POV. They’re all so good.


**

Very prolific author with an entire arsenal of amazing AUs (of all kinds) and Canon fanfictions. All fanfictions are posted on their tumblr blog and can keep you occupied for hours. If you haven’t seen their blog, I highly recommend that you check it out.


*** 

Check out their Miscellaneous collection. Full of Canon/AU drabbles and well over 130K worth of content.



AU


Between the Stacks by C_AND_B (COMPLETE)

“Your story, like all greats stories, begins in the library.

Your crush, like all great crushes, begins with her and her friends shouting (or rather, attempting to shout) penis in the library when you’re just trying to study for your exam.”

Lexa just wants to study but Clarke, well, Clarke can be very distracting.

Really cute College AU one-shot where a studious Lexa meets Clarke by yelling in the library. Honestly, everything written by this author is lighthearted and fun, though this may be my favorite. It is in 2nd POV (like all their other works), but it’s very well done.



Break Your Plans by pizzaoctavia or @debnamridley (WIP)

Clexa college!AU: in which Clarke grows tired of hearing Octavia and Lincoln’s escapades in the next room, so Lincoln offers her his apartment for study. He fails to mention his heavily tattooed hockey player roommate in the process.

A College AU with HockeyPlayer!Lexa and Artist!Clarke. It’s soft and hard, sweet and bitter, and enjoyable all around. Also one of the more popular fanfictions on AO3 (for good reason).



Can’t Bear is Without You by @fuscience (COMPLETE)

Clarke works at the mall and has an unlikely savior in the form of it’s mascot - Happy the Bear.

Or

Lexa doesn’t hate her job, but she certainly doesn’t like it. At least, not until the girl from the food court starts giving her free food and drinks.

Cute and lighthearted one-shot featuring protective BearMascot!Lexa and Worker!Clarke. It’s entertaining and definitely worth a read if you haven’t checked it out before.



Eighty Days by @theahhamoment​ (WIP)

It takes two months, two weeks, and five days. Not that she’s counting, of course.

Coffee Shop AU but with lots of soul. It can get pretty heavy and introspective at times, but that’s its charm. There are currently three chapters (out of a planned total of five), and they’re definitely worth the wait.



Fearless by @aliciaclvrk (WIP)

Clarke needs someone to help with gas money. Lexa needs a ride home. They both need a way to escape. Clearly, a road trip across the country is the only solution.

Roadtrip AU by the talented aliciaclvrk (lordvoldyfarts on AO3). It’s one of my favorites and captures the raw essence of wanderlust perfectly. There’s something surprisingly soothing about taking a mental roadtrip with Lexa and Clarke as they escape their problems, give into their inhibitions, and inevitably fall in love. Highly recommended. (And recently updated!)



I Think I’ve Met You Before by kittymannequin (WIP)

You remember some things, but most of all, you remember her. Sometimes you wish you couldn’t, but the colour of her eyes is burned so much into your brain that if you try to blink it away, it makes you dizzy. So you let the thoughts of her consume you, until there’s nothing but blinding light in your mind and then it’s all over, for a little while. And then you hear a familiar voice.

One of many Elyza Lex AUs, but with a Soulmate AU overlay. It’s a personal favorite, and a guilty pleasure. Written in 2nd POV.



Lover in Low Light by @chrmdpoet (WIP)

Five years after their relationship’s end, college sweethearts Lexa and Clarke find themselves in the same city again. Now, they are different people with different lovers and different lives, but neither ever fully let the other go. Will what they once had still be all they are looking for, or is it finally time to truly let go and move on?

Please don’t let the WIP deter you. This is an amazing piece of fanfiction written by the lovely chrmdpoet. There’s so much raw emotion in this piece that will have you crying and rooting for the golden couple through their highs and lows. Highly recommended.



Love Is Blindness (I Don’t Want to See) by @effortlessly-opulent (WIP)

Powerful business executives by day, cutthroat kingpins by night, Lexa Woods and the Blake siblings have been rivals since they inherited their parents’ respective companies. When Clarke Griffin, fostered by the Blakes, has a chance encounter with Lexa, she’s sent to work for her and spy on her. Lexa Woods is no fool. And Clarke shouldn’t be falling in love with the enemy.

This is a 100K+ Gang AU updated Wednesdays/Sundays. It is one of my favorites, has amazing parallels to the show, and a great dynamic between our two female leads. It also isn’t lacking in our lovable grounders and delinquents. I am addicted to this story, and will happily encourage other people to try it out.



Women More Than Warriors by @steklir (WIP)

The first time Clarke sees her, she’s sitting on a throne, presiding over her dominion with a piercing stare and a crown of braids in her hair. Her warriors are spread at her feet, a multitude of them, all long-haired and wild and clad in identical brown regalia. There’s something of the sacred about her, like the crimson cloak draped across her shoulders and her divinity are one and the same.

An intricate BritishBoardingSchool!AU that incorporates many elements from canon into a practical modern setting. Very interesting read (understatement) and highly recommended. 



Origamis by DJayJay (WIP)

Clarke waits for someone to be able to take care of her boy’s injured wrist when Lexa steps in the hospital, bloody and selfless. Things definitly works out better than expected for a night at the hospital.

Or,

Clarke is a single mom and Lexa can make a rocket ship out of a piece of paper.

A College / Single Mom / Hospital Visit AU that will leave your teeth rotting from extreme fluff. It’s lighthearted, sweet, funny, and all kinds of adorable. Features Toddler!Aden, Mom!Clarke, and Biker!Lexa. (There might even be some Ranya). It’s currently at 26K words with three out of the four planned chapters uploaded. Basically, it’s almost done, so feel free to pick it up whenever.



Our Hearts (Have Minds of their Own) by @effortlessly-opulent (WIP)

Clarke is NOT going back to another family reunion without a fake girlfriend to shut everyone up. Lexa, her neighbor and friend, needs powerful clients like the Griffins for her up and coming business.

How inconvenient that they accidentally fall head-over-heels for each other in the process.

Another piece by effortlessly-opulent. This is a Fake Dating AU with a hint of Ranya. There aren’t too many chapters at the moment, but it’s already off to a great start. It’s updated every Wednesday. 



The Three Truths by @theahhamoment​ (COMPLETE)

It was always easy, until it wasn’t.

An emotional 68K+ Fake Dating AU, where Lexa agrees to pose as Clarke’s girlfriend while attending a family reunion / memorial. Like other works by transientpermanence, this deals with a bit of angst, and gets pretty serious at some points. Regardless, it is full of charming characters, and will make you laugh, cry, and grin like an idiot. Definitely one of my favorites.



Snow and Seances by @hedaswolf​ (COMPLETE)

“So,” Clarke says, clasping her hands together. “Guess we’re gonna be here for a while. What do you want to do?”

Lexa shrugs and smiles weakly, hoping the terror she’s feeling doesn’t show on her face. Because what she wants to do is run.

What she wants is to be anywhere other than snowed in at a romantic cabin with her probably straight crush.

Another one by the talented hedaswolf (because I can). I’m weak for anything that even has a pinch of Soulmate AU, and this is all the adorbs (It’s actually a SnowCabin / Snowed-In AU). Highly recommended. In fact, just read all of their stuff. P:



The Only One that Makes You Come (Running) by acid_glue234 (WIP)

Lexa stares at Clarke and Clarke stares right back with this look, and somehow they end up in Raven’s room on top of Raven’s bed.

or

the clexa AU where Clarke asks for more than she bargained for and Lexa doesn’t disappoint

Friends with Benefits AU. It’s another WIP (I’m plagued by them), but if you’re curious, you should still check it out. Warning: There is some angst, but that’s usually what happens when these two saps can’t fathom the other actually liking them.



When Love Becomes Reason by @clarkesquad (WIP)

The one where it’s not a love story, it’s a story of a girl who needs a plus one for her brother’s wedding (and a girl who needs to be at that wedding).

Spoilers: It’s a love story. It’s always a love story.

Another Fake Dating AU by the lovely clarkesquad. I will be honest, it has been a while since I read this gem, but it is good. Updates are infrequent, though that shouldn’t stop you from checking it out. If it isn’t your cup of tea, I still recommend checking out her other works.



Write Your Name (Across my Heart) by @hedaswolf​ (WIP*)

“Don’t worry, Princess,“ Raven says. “She hasn’t taken her break, yet.”

Clarke works in the cafe of her local bookstore and she’s kinda crushing on one of the girls who works on the floor. The only trouble is she doesn’t know her name.

Originally a two-shot and by popular demand, expanded to a WIP. Adorable Bookshop/Coffeeshop AU that I can’t gush about enough. Both girls are such saps, and you’ll be grinning like an idiot. Highly recommended. 



Canon AU

These are divergent (but still exists) in The 100 universe. I know you prefer AU, but I’ll list them here in case you’re curious.



High as a Kite by @fuscience (COMPLETE)

Lexa gets injured and doesn’t react very well to the medication. Raven stands as witness to it all and Clarke just gets to deal with it.

Lexa is lucky Clarke loves her. Truly.

A HeavilyMedicated!Lexa canon AU, but with substance. It’s told from the POV of Raven, and although the prompt is humorous, it does maintain a semblance of seriousness that is The 100 ‘verse. Lexa isn’t completely dopey, and Raven, with legitimate reason, is short of being fully sympathetic.



I Can Feel You by Tangledinprose (COMPLETE)

She’s shaky and weary and happy. And in pain from how much she feels. From how much she can feel. She closes her eyes again, focuses on the buzz against her ear.

‘Klark. Klark. Klark.’

She chokes, fear and want and impossible pressed against her lips. Tears escapes her eyes and she gasps.

“Lexa?”

That one-shot where Clarke is chosen to be the new Heda and is inherently connected to Lexa. You’ll feel for them both, and hopefully, obtain some closure. This actually makes Lexa’s death (a little) easier to swallow. 



Lightning Only Strikes Once by fiona_249 (WIP)

Consumed by grief, Clarke climbs Lexa’s tower, not really thinking through what she plans to do. But any plans get taken away when she’s struck by lightning, mysteriously transporting her back to before any of it happens.

Back in her cell on the Ark, Clarke remembers exactly what went wrong - and mysteriously, so does Lexa among her people on the ground. Between the two of them, can they get back to each other? Can they find a way to save both of their people and themselves? Or is the hatred surrounding them too strong?

This is my go-to fix it fic for the 307 debacle. It is a well written, Time Travel AU that respects the characters and the pure relationship between Clarke and Lexa. Also, people are alive! Updates come rather frequently, and though the chapters are relatively short, it is already 50K+ in length. Bonus: The Chapter titles are gold. 



this heart, fossilized and silent (once was tender and once was violent) by @chrmdpoet (COMPLETE)

Clarke is only three days into being a runaway when she realizes that she did not fully think this through. When she walked away from Camp Jaha, she took only herself, a handgun with limited ammunition, and the gnawing guilt inside her. Three days without food, water, fresh clothing, or bedding of any kind, however, and she is painfully aware of how foolish that decision had been.

This is the Canon AU, and what I usually read to push away the awfulness of the current season. No clexa masterpost fic rec is complete without this in its list. Definitely my favorite Season 3 AU period. Also the author of Lover in Low Light.



The Other Shore by precooked (COMPLETE)

Death is not the end.

-

Lexa dies. Clarke dies, too, and she wakes up.

A closure fix-it fic for the 307 debacle ending in another ‘verse. It left me feeling at peace, and I would recommend others to read this as well. (Think Lost).



The White Queen Running by KL_Morgan (WIP)

Clarke wakes up wearing the tattoos of the Ice Nation.

A canon divergence heavily colored by parallel words, soulmates, and IceQueen!Clarke. Interesting is an understatement. Very well written and personally recommended.



Gosh. This is a long list. It took much longer that I thought it would, but I wanted to be thorough. This is by no means complete, but suffice to say, there are many talented fanfiction authors in this fandom (shoutout to all that I tagged here). P: I hope this helps you out! (I might shamelessly use this for myself as a reference. Who knows, there may be updates.)

anonymous asked:

(1/3) Ok, so I've been in this fandom for a while now and I know what Destiel and Wincest and Sabriel and Sastiel all mean. I also know what J2 tinhat is, but I honest to God can not figure out what the hell a Cockles supporter means so I wrote down a list of things I think it might be if you could clarify it would great. 1) A person like a J2 tinhat who thinks that Misha and Jensen are actually together in real life either bearding wise or polyamourous wise

(2/3) 2) A person who wishes that Jensen and Misha were together polyamorously or behind others people back 3) Someone who thinks they would be cute together if there wasn’t wives/children involved (AU) 4) Someone who thinks that Misha and Jensen are secretly in love (like actually in love) with each other and won’t act on it

(3/3) 5) Someone who admires their overall friendship in general (complete platonic). I can never actually tell with y'all cause you throw around the terms “husbands” and “boyfriends” and so many sexual connotations that I can’t tell what you actually think about their relationship. Me personally I think they are just friends, but I’m still confused what a Cockles person in general means using the options I gave you or combine them, or make your own, just make your own. Thanks!


So as you probably know, I ship Cockles and Destiel. Initially, I was just a Destiel shipper as I felt uncomfortable shipping real people. But then I started seeing the convention videos and realised that Destiel might have actually originated from Cockles, meaning the chemistry between Jensen and Misha is so palpable it is very hard to ignore it. So let me help you answer your first question. A Cockles shipper is a person who recognizes that there is undeniable chemistry between Jensen and Misha. And just like there is a range of J2 shippers, from tinhat to bromance, we come in various shapes and sizes too. 

And shipping Cockles is so easy too. There is just abundance of evidence. From the constant looks that they give each other to the way they find comfort  with one another. Jensen’s whole body language changes when Misha enters a room. Jensen’s face lights up and he laughs too loud and too long. And Misha so openly flirts with Jensen. We can see how they care about each other. In JIB Con when Jensen was having a hard time, Misha came onstage to support him. And Jensen takes interest in the charity work that Misha does as evidenced by the many campaigns they have done together. So we don’t just base it on innuendoes and jokes on stage. Just like a normal romantic relationship, we can see it evolve through time. Starting from their first con together [x]. I don’t want to go into specifics because if I start down that rabbit hole I may never leave. 

As for me, I personally believe that Cockles has true potential to be a thing in real life or it already is. I can say with confidence that most of us DO NOT hate Vicki or Danneel. In fact they are both amazing women. And anyone who has heard Misha talk about Vicki will tell you how much he loves his wife. Same goes for Jensen. I personally believe that they are in a polyamorous relationship or that a polyamorous relationship is not too far-fetched a scenario to imagine. 

Vicki has actually written a book on threesomes and it is not just on having a one night stand either. It is on how to be in a long-term three person relationship.  In her book, she has stated that they have been in a polyamorous relationship with another woman for quite a period of time and have strongly alluded to the fact that they have had threesomes with another guy. So obviously Vicki is open to an unconventional relationship. As for Danneel, she has stated previously that friends can have sex without it being anything more. So this shows that Danneel does not confine herself to the societal norms of a relationship. Danneel and Vicki are friends. They have gone shopping together and the two families have gone outings together. 

Another fact is that the rest of the cast seem to know something going on. Jared makes Jensen/Misha jokes all the time. Osric has said that Jensen and Misha go to dinner together frequently. Ruthie Connell has tweeted that she has seen the “chemistry FOR REAL!”

This is why there are so many Cockles shippers. Not only can we very easily envision a romantic relationship between Jensen and Misha, we can also see their wives being part of it, being supportive and not consider it as a dirty secret or being unfaithful.  

What is not a Cockles shipper is someone who spreads hate on other shippers, wish death on the wives or Jared. I truly believe that this fandom should stop all the hate and just learn to appreciate what we have in this amazing show. After all that is what Jared, Jensen and Misha would want us to do. 

So there you go. 

Tl:DR A Cockles shipper is a person who recognizes that there is undeniable chemistry between Jensen and Misha. They can range from believing in polyamorous relationship to just bromance. A hater is not a Cockles shipper.  

clean - calum smut

pairing: calum + Y/N

rated: R

word count: 6,883 (ayy longest one shot i’ve written lmao)

request: “do you think you could write a calum smut where he lives across the street but you never really talked to him but then you guys get really close because you drive him home from a party or something and you just go to each other’s houses in the middle of the night” - anon

A/N: as always, I tweaked the anon’s prompt, but I ended up really liking what I wrote. I combined the request with bits and pieces of ideas I came up with while listening to clean by the japanese house. but basically, calum - your former childhood best friend and current kindhearted neighbor who is secretly in love with you - picks you up from a house party after your (ex)boyfriend cheats on you. maybe I got a bit carried away. (okay, I definitely did.)

“from the movements you made,

and the soft gaze you gave,

you understood.

and i knew it wouldn’t last,

but in the clean light you cast,

i was good. i was good.”

Your throat was raw from the alcohol and dark eyeliner was smudged beneath your eyes. You could feel the coldness from the concrete below seeping into your skin through the thick denim material of your jeans, making you shiver as you sat on the front steps of some stranger’s place, contemplating what your next move should be.

In all honestly, you could’ve called up your best friend, or your parents, or even your older brother. But you didn’t want to be questioned about the reason behind your tears or the shake of your hands or why you had locked yourself in an unfamiliar bathroom and screamed your lungs out while a house party was in full swing just downstairs. You wanted the comfort of being with someone who knew nothing about you, who had no clue as to why the girl who was always perfectly put together had seemingly fallen apart.

So you pulled your phone from the pocket of your coat, your fingers trembling as you scrolled through your contacts and clicked on his name. Part of you thought he wouldn’t even pick up. It was nearing three in the morning, and you rarely ever spoke to him anymore - only a text here and there regarding the science homework. The boy across the street was probably fast asleep, completely dead to the superficial little world that you had been immersed in for the night.

However, when Calum answered the phone, his voice thick with exhaust, you managed to smile, despite the recent events that you had endured.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey, this blog is everything I've been looking for! Now for the question: How much truth is there to the "drill sergeant", "authority equals asskicking" and "a father to his men" tropes? And while we're at it, do you think you could do a masterpost on common military tropes in fiction? :o

I love exposing terrible tropes, so this question is everything I’ve been looking for! However, I don’t want this post to be TOO long, so I’ll go ahead and do one trope at a time (and don’t worry – I will definitely be putting up a master post of tropes eventually).

Disclaimer: I did basic training in Fort Jackson, which is stereotypically an “easy” basic training, though I’d beg to differ. If anyone has personal experience with another unit, please feel free to add your experience!

Trope: Drill Sergeant Nasty
Let me start off with what a drill sergeant is.

Drill sergeants are typically E-5 to E-7, although E-6 is that preferred sweet spot. Drill sergeants basically replace platoon sergeants as far as unit structure goes, and in a basic training battalion there is still the first sergeant, commander, etc. The only people who wear these little hats

which are called campaign covers, are the drill sergeants themselves. You will often interact with people who are not drill sergeants and who won’t be wearing these hats. Males wear the flat one, females wear the one with one side pinned up. They come like that; it’s not a personal stylistic choice.

Now I can’t say whether it varies, but from my experience, drill sergeants are three to a platoon. Your platoon will most likely be about forty to sixty soldiers. Two of your drill sergeants will be either E-5 or E-6 and be your platoon sergeants, and your last drill sergeant will be an E-6 or E-7 as your platoon leader. Lately, the army has had female drill sergeants in high demand, and as far as I know they’re making a special effort to enlist at least one female drill sergeant per battalion.

Attention: you ONLY address drill sergeants AS “drill sergeant.” Not sergeant, not sir/ma’am. Drill sergeant. That’s it.

Drill sergeants train you and instruct you, make sure you get fed, make sure you get sleep, and basically babysit you while you’re in basic. They march you around, teach in classrooms, give you tests, and show you how to do new exercises, obstacles, or techniques. They know how to get in the mud and do the shit they’re making you do; don’t you worry. Drill sergeants also regularly get a day off because they regularly have to do 24 hour duty to watch over the soldiers, and occasionally some of them get to go home at the end of the day. Remember that drill sergeants didn’t enter the army to be drill sergeants; it’s an assignment you can volunteer for and then be chosen for after completing extensive training. Drill sergeants have their own lives and their own jobs outside of basic training, and after a couple years they’ll go back to the regular army to do their regular job. 

Now…how do drill sergeants actually act?

Pretty much everything you have seen in the movies about drill sergeants is patently false, at least as far as modern army is concerned. (say, 2009 and up) There’s been heavy pushing from up high to make drill sergeants less problematic because of how frequent sexual assault and other complaints are in the military. You’re not going to be hearing a drill sergeant say “listen up, ladies!” anymore, not even to a bunch of people who are in fact ladies. My drill sergeants stomped that shit outta the recruits real quick when I went through basic. “They aren’t women; they’re soldiers.” In other words, if someone is writing a modern day drill sergeant calling his male soldiers “ladies” and says “that’s just how they are,” they’re full of shit.

The constant name calling – maggot, shitstain, worm – is uncommon now as well. Typically we’re called “warriors,” (as we’re not soldiers until we get through basic training) and you’d be surprised how much loathing and disappointment a drill sergeant can seep into the word “warrior.” That’s not to say it doesn’t happen, (because it does; make no mistake) but drill sergeants are not supposed to harass or bully their soldiers. I know a drill sergeant who was told off for calling us “crackheads” once, although my favorite drill sergeant’s favorite insult was “dodos,” and he was clear to use that one.

Drill sergeants actually ask you on day one to write up a little profile about yourself. Now this sounds silly, but it serves a real purpose, and they do REALLY want you to add your background. I recall my drill sergeant explaining to us that at one point he was yelling at a soldier a little too close and he raised his hand (to point, not hit) and she started having a panic attack, and it turned out that she’d been a victim of domestic abuse and the yelling, proximity, and the raised hand had triggered her. He said had she put that in her profile, he would’ve handled her way differently.

Of course, the army can only make so many accommodations. If you literally cannot stand being yelled at at all in any capacity, then the military is not for you. You’re expected to be able to stand up to a good dishing of abuse.

My drill sergeants did usually know when the time came to be the hard ass drill sergeant they were supposed to be and when to pull someone aside and ask what was going on, especially when they got to know the soldier. A shitbag who’s always causing trouble might not get the same sympathies, but if a person is usually a pretty good soldier and they’re just not on their game, our drill sergeant would look into it and make sure things were okay. At the end of the day they are supposed to break you and make you stronger, but they also realize that we’re human, and if you’re TOO broken then you’re useless. 

Oh…don’t…apologize to your drill sergeant. I was a smart ass and said “I beg your pardon” to apologize and I actually got away with that sometimes, but if you say any variation of “i’m sorry” or “i apologize” you’ll probably get chewed out.

Drill sergeants also CANNOT TOUCH RECRUITS. Unless it is to help them, instruct them, save their lives, or save the lives of others. No punching, no kicking, no smacking, no grabbing. That goes double for the soldiers. You do NOT want to face the repercussions of putting a hand on your drill sergeant.

Finally: “drop and give me twenty.”

Mhmmmmmm nobody says this ever. Easiest tell-tale sign you know nothing about drill sergeants.

Things a drill sergeant will say if they’re about to punish you with push-ups, in order:

“Half-right, face!” - If you told a whole platoon to get down and do push-ups, they’d be getting all in each other’s way. Think about how a formation looks; there’d be legs everywhere. This positions them so that they have more room.

“Front leaning rest position, move!” - the position in which you execute the push up is called “front leaning rest.” I’ll be doing an entire post on the push-up at a later time; don’t you worry.

“In cadence!” - the punished soldiers repeat this command. It means that they’ll be expected to count the number of push-ups they perform, and they better do it LOUDLY. “Exercise!” At that command, in unison and following the pace of the cadence, everyone begins to push.

Sometimes if it’s just one or two soldiers, a drill sergeant will just be so aghast at your failure that they’ll just say “get down/get pushing.” You’re expected to get down and start pushing until the drill sergeant tells you to stop, but typically you won’t be down for more than five, MAYBE ten minutes. I’m fairly sure they aren’t allowed to keep you pushing for longer than that, although if they reach their time limit and still want to punish you they may move onto other exercises. Drill sergeants aren’t allowed to just decide to punish you for no reason, but they aren’t above nit picking your appearance and your posture and such.

This post is almost four pages long at this point and I could probably still go on, but I’m sure you’ll learn plenty more when I eventually put up my basic training post, which I’m already working on. Please feel free to send me any other questions you have in the mean time, and I hope I at least covered some ground to get you started!

vantenyo  asked:

Okay, so I've had a theory for along time but ive had no idea how to write it out. What if Rose quartz was made to shatter pink diamond? What if PD saw the beauty in earth and made a quartz to begin a rebellion?

Hello! This is something I was asked before, but it’s something we can talk about again in light of the new information we have for the benefit of other people who might have the same question. 

There are three ideas to the argument that you lay out here, and I’ll engage them one by one:

1. PD really loved Earth

I think that when we toss around statements like “PD cared about Earth!” or “PD appreciated the beauty of Earth!” and “So she wanted to protect it!” We have to first qualify what that means.

Because the CGs themselves, didn’t really choose Earth because of its rich organic life, or its natural resources. The CGs chose Earth because of what it stood for, a place where they could be free, be together, and be themselves, and to Rose, human beings were the epitome of that.

So when the argument is that PD cared about Earth, I would agree completely. Earth was her colony. Earth was giving her more quartzes, and given what Peridot said in Message Received, the Diamonds are seen as “matriarchs.” Each new Quartz would have been like a child to her, and they saw her as a mother figure. She cared about Earth because Earth, as her first colony, was her land of opportunity, for her to rule the way she saw would help her faction the most.

In that regard, we can interpret “love for Earth” in two ways. And the question now is, which is PD’s more likely motivation? If we’re talking about the beauty of Earth, then that’s a very individualistic reason that even the CGs didn’t rally behind. The answer to that would have been to stop Earth colonisation, because Earth was her colony. If her goal were only to preserve it, then she could have moved to another planet. But we have reason to believe she wanted to keep growing Quartzes. 

The way Homeworld gems see beauty, is when things are being utilised well; it makes sense coming from a species that sucks planets dry every time they conquer one. They can’t help irreplaceably using up a planet’s resources, so they might as well make the most of it. Recall the Swiss cheese version of Earth that Peridot showed the CGs in It Could’ve Been Great. This is what she calls beautiful, because beauty is subjective and based on what we’re socialised and conditioned to accept as aesthetically pleasing. Should she have disagreed with the Diamonds, it would be her personal desires against the desires of everyone else. It’s reasonable to assume that she put aside what she wanted for the good of everyone else.

Should PD have valued Earth for the second reason, it would fall totally in line with the status quo of Homeworld. In fact, the only big way for a disagreement worth shattering her to happen, was if she were leading in a way that the other Diamonds didn’t agree with, but that seems not to be the case. Gems like Bismuth, and other CGs, believed that there was no hope for the upper crust, the oligarchs, the aristocracy, nothing to do but shatter them. If there were one big gem on their side, who changed, they wouldn’t have had that impression, so that’s probably not it either.

In short, I don’t dispute that PD fell in love with Earth. But I don’t think it was for the same reasons the CGs did. 

2. PD loved Earth enough to die for it

But I also want to engage the “even if” possibility. Even if PD valued Earth the way the CGs did, and she cared about the organic life, and wanted to stop colonisation altogether, it seems antithetical that she would have to be shattered for it.

A Diamond wields great power and influence. A Diamond, by default, commands a huge portion of Homeworld’s population. If PD and the defectors had the same goals, why didn’t they work together? The rebels would have had much more sway with the GDA should PD have decided to align herself with them. If she wanted to be heard and succeed, then the best bet was to fight for it herself.

This portrayal of PD makes her seem like she was willing to abandon her gems for a very personal cause. Should we expand that cause to caring about the things that live on Earth, then she could have gone on protecting them. After she was shattered, there was no guarantee the rebels would win Earth, which means everything could have been in vain. Without her support, the chances the rebels won would be even slimmer.

3. PD made Rose Quartz for the express purpose of shattering her

I’m not fond of the idea that Rose was made to shatter PD, or even that Rose was forced to shatter the latter. It removes Rose’s complexity as a character and washes her hands of all the “bad” things she did. It tells us that Rose was not the true leader of the Rebellion, that ordinary gems couldn’t have organised and risen up against an oppressive system, and that it always must be someone “on top” who can see the bigger picture.

It erases the idea that gems can change and be motivated by different things. That Rose was made to already believe in something, is an idea I can’t get behind. Through and through we’re shown that gems can grow and change according to their contexts, that they’re shaped by contexts and events and people. Saying that Rose was programmed to do one of the biggest character-building moments in the series spits in the face of that.

Because, again, the complex PD theories like this try to paint is that she was facing a dilemma between caring for her gems and Earth’s organic life at the same time. This version of PD, though, seems callous and self-interested, one who would rather be shattered than have to take any real decisive action. It’s a cop-out, and it’s seems to add twists to the story that undo characterisations and character-building, not only for PD, but also Rose.

anonymous asked:

Is it okay to ask you about Asian erasure? I'm Asian and a few years ago I was like "it's not a big deal" but now I feel like it's something that needs to be addressed but whenever I bring it up the way people treat me makes me feels like I'm exaggerating. You're a big reason that I've noticed it more, so if you have time could you maybe explain why it's so important? Thank you :)

Yikes, I’m sorry to hear people are making you doubt yourself, Anon. I’m glad my posts are bringing awareness to it though! There’s a lot to say about it so I’ll try to keep it short and to the point.

I’m going to start with a couple of disclaimers: 

  • I’m going to focus on East Asians in particular because I myself am East Asian, so I don’t want to talk on behalf of other Asians, and also because all the cases Asian Erasure that I can think of are about East Asians.
  • This is not the Oppression Olympics. Me talking about the discrimination of East Asians is not an attempt to undermine or dismiss the discrimination faced by other people of colour.

Okay, now to the point! Or the many points, at least.

1. Asian Erasure = Lack of (Positive) Representation

Representation is so, so important. I don’t think I have to go too much into detail about this, just that it’s important for Asians to see themselves depicted in mainstream media.We don’t get to see ourselves saving the day. We don’t get to see ourselves being portrayed as dynamic, three-dimensional characters who aren’t just built off stereotypes. We don’t get to see ourselves be a part of the diversity that western media is patting themselves on the back for even though they’re leaving out billions of people that take up like, half a continent.

Media influences people so much, without them even knowing, so the more we’re seen in different settings, the more likely people are to separate us from stereotypes and normalize us as human beings instead of walking caricatures.

It’s not just TV shows that leave Asians out of the picture. There’s a distinct lack of Asians in body positivity ads that I’ve seen, and then people applaud it for having such great diversity, except literally all I can think is, “Where are the Asians?” Which brings me to my next point:

2. Asian Erasure Makes it Easier to Ignore Asians

Now, this isn’t necessarily on purpose, but like many things we learn from media, it happens anyway, subconscious or not. It’s kind of amazing how few people realize there’s a distinct lack of Asians in media until it’s pointed out to them because they’re just so used to our absence. 

We can even take you as an example - you said you’ve started noticing it more because I keep pointing it out. Which is great, of course, and there’s nothing wrong with having not really noticed it before. What’s important is that you start noticing it at all! 

Anyway, my point is: it’s easy to ignore things that were never there to begin with. And this thing with ignoring Asians leads to other issues, like ignoring us in discussions about racism and discrimination.

3. Asian Erasure Contributes to Dismissing Asians as PoC

Okay, I don’t know how “factual” this is, but there is definitely a trend of people taking the term “people of colour” way too literally in that they only think about black, brown, hispanic, and other more commonly dark-skinned minorities instead of light-skinned minorities like East Asians.

So I’m just gonna say this real quick: East Asians are People of Colour

Except, we get left out of the discussion a lot when it comes to race and discrimination. Just, like, completely forgotten, in that people don’t ever bring up East Asians and how we experience racism and discrimination, and I don’t know if this is because of our skin tone (i.e. we aren’t obviously “coloured” so it’s subconsciously easier to forget about us as a minority group, visibly speaking) or because of the really stupid “model minority” myth.

I don’t wanna go too into detail about the model minority myth, but basically the myth and this trend of ignoring Asians often leads to people, and other minorities, dismisses and undermines the discrimination and racism that Asians face because people tend to believe that Asians don’t face either of those at all.

(And maybe some Asians will agree! You’ll probably meet some Asians who think they have the same privileges as white people, but let me remind you that 1. They’re wrong, only white people benefit from white privilege, that’s why it’s white privilege, and 2. Those Asians don’t speak on behalf of the other Asians, like me, who do feel discriminated against/ignored/dismissed/etc.)

This might make Asians who feel discriminated against think that they’re exaggerating (you’re not exaggerating, Anon) because people love to say that what Asians go through “isn’t nearly as bad” but that’s just a terrible mentality to have because again, this isn’t the Oppression Olympics. We’re not trying to one-up other minorities on how badly we have it. We just want our issues to be made aware of, too. 

(I have a whole other thing on how Asian stereotypes literally kill Asians, but that’s not the focus of this. I just figure that there’s gonna be at least one person thinking that the “stereotypes are good!” but no, there’s a reason East Asians tend to have the highest suicide rates amongst universities in North America.)

4. Asian Erasure takes roles away from Rising Asian Actors

Basically, whitewashing. See: 

  • Ghost in the Shell
  • Dr. Strange
  • Arguably The Great Wall, but there’s a lot of mixed feelings about that one but I’m putting it here anyway because I’m of the opinion that they could’ve just as easily not put Matt Damon in there.

Those are the most recent cases that I can remember but anyway, case in point: whitewashing and Asian erasure often go hand in hand.

So why is Asian erasure important? Or rather, why is it important to acknowledge it as an issue?

In my opinion, it basically boils down to the fact that, as an ethnic minority and as people of colour, Asians need representation, too. A lot of the arguments for more and better (very important) roles for black, brown hispanic, and latinx people apply to Asians as well. 

But Asians tend to be forgotten (for reasons I can only speculate). Instead we’re overlooked and dismissed because we aren’t discriminated against “enough” (again, stupid idea, not the Oppression Olympics.)

There’s a lot more I could talk about but because I don’t want to write an entire essay on the matter, I hope this is at least a good start. Thanks for the ask, Anon! I hope people give you less trouble about it in the future, because Asian erasure really is an important issue, even if it’s easier to ignore than others.

ratthepoet  asked:

I have a question about cleaning pipes. I lent a pipe to a friend for a few months, and now that I've got it back, it's the filthiest pipe I've ever seen. I don't think my buddy cleaned it once during the entire time. Normally, I clean my pipes by running a pipe cleaner through the stem and wiping the bowl down, but I think this time I need to get a little deeper. What's the best way to get a pipe as clean as possible?

I’m terribly sorry this took SO long to reply to. I hope it’s useful to you are someone else out there.

The Deep clean:

Every so often it’s a good idea to give each of your pipes a deep cleaning. I recommend at least twice a year and more often if you smoke them a lot. This will keep your pipes in great working order for a sweet smooth cool smoke.

1. Prepare.
You’ll need to select a location. Cleaning your pipe can be a bit messy as you’ll be emptying quite a bit of ash and tobacco from your pipe. I like to do this out on my patio if the wether permits. If you’re cleaning your pipes inside put down some newspaper to catch all of your ash and have a small bag close by to collect the used pipe cleaners and paper towels.

2. Gather your materials.
You’ll need:
- Your pipes (Make sure that a pipe you intend to clean is completely coo,l I recommend at least 24hrs from last use)
- Pipe tool
- Pipe cleaners (You will need a lot and having a variety of bristle and stiffness is helpful. Remember, pipe cleaners are cheap, a new pipe is not.)
- pipe sweetener or grain alcohol.
- paper towels/cotton balls
- briar polish (Optional)
- polishing cloth (Optional)

3. Clean the stem.
Remove the stem by pulling it straight out with a slight unscrewing motion. Be careful not to pull at an angle as this can damage the tenon. Over time the unscrewing motion puts tiny grooves in the tenon and the shank of the pipe and help to hold them together firmly.
Take a pipe cleaner and dip it into your pipe sweetener The sweetener is mainly alcohol and acts as a cleaning agent as well as imparting some flavor to the pipe itself. Push the pipe cleaner through the mouthpiece sliding it left and right as you push it through to clean the sides of the hole. Notice the pipe cleaner comes out quite dirty. Follow it with a dry pipe cleaner to absorb some moisture. Repeat this process two or three times until a wet pipe cleaner comes out looking clean.
Dip another clean pipe cleaner in your sweetener and fold one in over and clean out the inside of the tenon. (note: Your folded pipe cleaner will only be dirty only be dirty on one side, you can fold it over the opposite way and run it through again.) Repeat until a dry pipe cleaner comes out looking clean.
Now use a cotton all or paper towel to rub down the outside of your stem. Alcohol will dull the finish on the outside of your pipe so a little water or saliva work nicely to clean around the lip of the stem.
When the stem is totally clean you can take a test draught through it. You’ll notice it tastes noticeably sweeter and cleaner. Use a soft cloth to polish up your stem and keep it looking beautiful.

4. The shank and air hole.
Use a sweetened bristle pipe cleaner to clean out the air hole and the inside of the shank. Repeat the same basic process as with the stem only you do not thread the cleaners through the bowl. Once the air hole is clean fold the pipe leaner in half and clean out the Shank. This should only take one or two pipe cleaners.

5. The Bowl.
Bend a clean pipe cleaner in a smooth curve around your thumb so it’s about the same shape as the inside of the bowl. Stick your pipe cleaner down to the bottom and turn it a few times to remove excess carbon. You can flip the pipe cleaner so the clean side is facing out and repeat.

Happy smoking!

If anyone else has thoughts or other tips, please share them!

#pipetips #pipecleaning #tobaccopipe

anonymous asked:

Beca and chloe are both out (bi and/or gay) but not together. And one day chloe comes into becas room with a 'i've been thinking very hard' face and then asks beca why they aren't dating. "We basically are if you think about it". Just like it was the most normal thing in the world.

There was never really an unspoken thing between them. 

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anonymous asked:

Over the past few months, I've battled a lot about what I "should" be writing and I keep coming back to a story told partly from a trans child. I am cis-gender gay male and I wonder "who am I" to speak for an experience I have never lived and struggled through, but it's a story I want to tell. I've seen posts about how cis-gender writers' trans narratives having an "ickyness" to them. Any book or general recommendations on not falling into "icky" waters and avoiding problematic representation?

Thank you for the great question! This is a rather complex issue, and there are a lot of varying view points. I would recommend trying to get other trans people’s perspectives, and I hope some trans people chime in in the notes! I will speak from my thoughts and my opinions— I do not speak for all trans people.

So, first off, I think you’ve already identified the main thing to be addressed: You can not and should not speak for the trans experience. But you can tell this character’s story. And I think you should!

There’s four big things that come to mind that I think every cis person writing about a trans character needs to do.

1. Research. Oh so much research. Get informed about trans people and the variety of our experiences. Look at poetry, essays, books, identity politics, random posts on the internet. Even if they’re not directly relevant to your character, check them out anyways. Find people who might be similar to your character and ask them if they’d be up for doing an interview. Research whatever specific situations your character is in. Find out everything you can.

2.  Make sure you’re not writing a “Gender Novel.” Casey Platt wrote a wonderful article about this that is necessary reading for any cis author who is writing a trans character.

One way of avoiding writing a Gender Novel I think is figuring out at least one thing that is more important to this character than their transness and at least three things that are equally important. They can be things that are going on in their lives, things that they’re interested in, anything. Then give those things the same or larger amount of page space as you do their experience of being trans. This is not exactly a tried and true method, but I think it’s a good place to start. Most Gender Novels place the character’s transness as the focal point of the character and of the novel, and that, combined with their lack of knowledge of what being trans is actually like, makes the trans  characters into inspiration porn for cis readers.

I’d also check out and follow this great post by Everett Maroon: How to Write Trans Characters (Or At Least Some Decent Ideas on the Subject). I think pretty much everything he says is right on, and very important to keep in mind while crafting a trans character. Similarly, I’d read this post of his from GayYA’s archives: How Trans Happens

3. Make sure to find transgender beta readers. Enlist the help of as many as you can!  

4. If/when this story is published, realize that you are still very open to legitimate critique. It doesn’t matter how much time, effort, and research you put into it. Similarly, realize that as cis author writing a trans character you are still walking on the edge of exploitation. Do not pretend this is not the case, do not pretend that these critiques are invalid and do not make up excuses for why you should just be “allowed” to write trans characters. All that does is allow cis readers to hold you up on a pedestal it is very important you don’t get on top of and tell trans people that any critiques or complaints that have are not legitimate. Don’t do that. Remain open to criticism, and maintain awareness of your situation. 

There is a lot more I could say about all of this, and a lot more nuance I could include. But then this post would be about five times this length. :P I do plan to write more about this on GayYA, so please watch out for that!

I have a few recs for further reading for you.

  • Pantomime and Shadowplay by Laura Lam. Lam, a cis woman, deals beautifully with writing a trans protagonist and not making it a Gender Novel. This book is, unfortunately, the only trans book written by a cis author (that I’ve read— but I’ve read a lot of them) that has done this.
  • The Unintentional Time Traveler by Everett Maroon, one of the only trans YA novels written by a trans author.
  • I’d also check out adult novels that are written by trans authors! Casey Platt, the author of the aforementioned post about the Gender Novel, also put together a short rec list. I do think these might not be as helpful, as writing about a trans adult would be different than writing about a trans child, but I think you could still get something out of it.
  • Anything you can about transgender politics.
  • Real life experiences, memoirs, blog posts, rants. You’ve already plugged into one of the best resources: Tumblr! Tumblr is great because it’s completely open and EVERYONE gets a voice and it gives a chance for communities to come together and talk about their lives.
  • I’d also recommend reading as much as you can about trans people’s childhoods, since that’s what you’re writing about. There is a very wide variety of experiences in childhood, and typically there’s only one story that is ever told which is the “I knew I was different from birth and always felt like I was in the wrong body.” There’s nothing wrong with that story. But it’s not the only one out there, and it is not the only way to be trans.  
  • Check out this Storify of a discussion we had on Twitter about cis authors writing trans characters. There’s a lot of food for thought in there.
  • Follow trans authors on Twitter and Tumblr. They have a lot to say.

My fingers are itching to write more, but I’ll stop myself here for now. Hopefully this is helpful! I think if you follow this, you will be pretty well off. Again, I do not speak for all trans people, and I expect there are others that disagree with me. Listen to them as well. I personally think cis authors can write compelling and nonproblematic trans characters. It just takes a lot of work. And I think you should continue writing this story. But go carefully.

Keep listening. Keep asking questions. Keep educating yourself. Keep checking yourself. I am here to try and help with anymore questions you might have! But find other resources too, as I am only one trans person. Hopefully, with help and with work, you can make this character come alive in a nonproblematic way. Best of luck to you! :) 

TV's Sexiest M.D.: On the set with Alex Kingston -- but how cool is this sexy British actress?

By Sean Mitchell – Los Angeles  [Published  in the New York Daily News, 10 October, 1999]

Alex Kingston, out of uniform in a spaghetti-strap orange top, loose-fitting pants and sandals, leads a visitor down a narrow passage between two blocks of towering soundstages at the Warner Bros. studios in Burbank.

It is a hot autumn afternoon as Kingston, familiar to many as the frisky British surgeon Dr. Elizabeth Corday on “ER,” passes a long line of “Star Wagon” trailers where her fellow “ER” doctors and nurses each take air-conditioned refuge from filming the life-and-death drama of America’s most popular TV show.

“How was your weekend?” Kingston says in her tamed English accent to Julianna Margulies, who, in wraparound shades and tight leather pants, also appears to be freshly arrived on the lot. (She has just flown in from New York.)

Redheaded Laura Innes, who plays the purse-lipped and prickly Dr. Weaver, is all smiles as she ambles over to offer a warm hello.

Almost everyone seems to have attended the premiere and party for “Three Kings” the night before in Westwood. The movie stars George Clooney, late of “ER,” and his former colleagues had come out to wish him well.

Kingston asks Innes, “How late did you stay?”

“We had to leave early we had a baby-sitter,” says Innes, a reminder that these familiar faces in white coats have lives away from the characters they have played for six going on seven seasons on NBC.

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anonymous asked:

I hope its okay if I vent on anon. So basically I'm a piece of shit who wants to die. My mother does not care at all about what I do or my opinions. If I fell off a bridge she wouldn't care. Her boyfriend is a fucking asshole who asks you questions and if he hates the answer he screams in your face repeatably until you cry. In the 8th grade I was cutting then I stopped but I started again and I don't know what to do. I've tried the alternative stuff but it doesn't work. Okay I'm done.

okay im writing the entire thing all over again…

its okay i completely understand if youre not comfortable coming off anon :)

first of all im really bad at organizing my thought so sorry in advance 

okay here we go:

YOU are not a piece of shit YOU  are a human being who deserves to be loved and respected as much as anyone else in the world does!!!

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The Art of Survival - Part Five

Parts One, Two, Three and Four here. This ended up taking much longer than I’d anticipated, sorry! Content warning for blood, violence, peril, suffocation, arachnophobia and character death. It’s a Hunger Games AU, basically. 

Wordcount: 3935

“Shhh!” Ariadne’s elbow is digging painfully in between his shoulder blades; Dan moans, tasting blood. “Shut up.”

He can feel the heavy drumbeat of footfall, and for a moment he’s disorientated (is he back in the forest, are those the thuds of an elk herd approaching? He left his axe back home, and he was always rubbish with a bow) but then he hears voices. Loud, confident voices.

“They’re here. I definitely heard them. This way – we’ll circle back round, they can’t go anywhere.”

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I've Waited

Request: (Anonymous): Hey I wanted to request a one shot from Deans point of view. Where he is in love with the reader but doesn’t want to tell her because he doesn’t think he is good enough. But he accidentally tells her and tries to cover it up. But the reader says she loves him too and just kisses and snuggles and fluff. Thanks, I love your writing, you have some talent!

This is my first request from Dean’s point of view, I hope I got it right. Enjoy! (and thank you!) *Fluff, and some thoughts of not being good enough if that is a warning. 

————————

I knocked on Y/N’s door to wake her up, the old bunker’s wood echo’d with each knock. “Y/N? You up?” I asked.

“Come in!” I heard her voice say. I saw her bundled up in her sheets, her beautiful hair flowing around her head on the pillow. 

Chuckling I asked “Sam made us waffles, you want some?” 

She blinked her eyes and her long eyelashes hit her cheeks softly each time, “Uh, save some for me yeah?” she asked as she began rolling over to sit up. If only that side of the bed was mine…

No problem, oh and there’s no hunting today, so tonight we’re going out for drinks” I said, having any excuse to stay by her a bit longer. 

“That’d be nice” she said as she got up from her bed. Her loose gray t-shirt fell off one shoulder, and then I realized that’s all she was wearing. Trying to be a gentleman I closed my eyes with my hands when she giggled “You’ve seen me like this hundreds of times, why close your eyes now?” she said, flipping through some pants to wear. 

Because now I’ve completely fallen for you Y/N I thought as I opened my eyes. 

“Uh just, ah never mind”. Since when do girls make me so nervous? That was the worst answer ever! 

Making my way to get some waffles Sammy slumped down in the chair next to me. He looks so tired, hell didn’t do him any good up in his brain. He’d never admit how much it hurt him, but I can see the red lining his eyes, and I can hear him up at four AM, walking around the bunker because he’d had another nightmare. 

“So? Any hunts today?” he asked me as he slid my cup of coffee across the table. Grabbing it with one hand and bringing it to my mouth I said, “Nope, just some sleeping and drinks tonight”. 

Sam laughed, “any other plans?” he asked, obviously referring to the liking I have towards Y/N. 

“Look Sam,” I said putting my cup down and facing him, “she won’t feel the same way. If I risk the friendship we have now it’ll ruin everything you got that? Everything!” and I began biting into my waffle roughly. 

“You have to try Dean!” Sam exclaimed after another minute or so.

“She doesn’t like me back Sam! She is perfect in every imperfect way, and all I am is extra baggage alright? She doesn’t need that.” I said, ending the conversation by slamming my plate into the sink. 

——————

After bottling up my emotions once more, Sam decided to read a book in the library while I needed something to get my mind off Y/N. I took up watching some Dr. Sexy, and twenty minutes in my distraction walked in. 

“Hey Dean” she half-waved in my direction, “Any waffles left for me?” she asked, raising one eyebrow. Acting casual I smirked and said “should be on the table” and pointed towards the kitchen table. She smiled and did that half-skip she does when she gets excited for something. Damnit she skips! She friggin’ skips! Who needs my problems and baggage when they’re skipping away? Why can’t I accept that I’m not good enough. 

There goes the idea of not thinking about her. Instead of sitting at the kitchen table, she plopped down on the couch next to me with her waffles. Her Y/E/C eyes were shining when she offered me a waffle, trying to shove it into my mouth.

Laughing I answered “I’m good Y/N, really. Sam already made me my four waffles and coffee. Where is your coffee by the way? Don’t eat them dry!” I said.

She shrugged her shoulders “Oh I just finished yours is that ok?” she asked. My heart rate picked up “Uh yeah! Sure” I said, turning my red cheeks away. 

“What’re you watching?” she asked, mouth full. 

“Some Dr. Sexy, guilty pleasure” I answered, as I began flipping through the channels. She put her hand on mine, but I realized not romantically, she just wanted to press my thumb down on the remote to go back a channel. 

Did she notice that I like her? Is she teasing me? Damnit she’s been hunting with us THREE YEARS and now I love her? I can’t lose her now, so I can’t tell her. But at the same time I just want to hold her in my arms while she watches her show….

We binged watched shows, laughing and making fun, other times upset over character deaths. “Oh my god!” she said, looking at her watch, “It’s already five!” she finished, getting up. 

Rubbing my eyes I said “Well when do you want to go out?”, then stopped realizing how that came out.

“What?” she said turning around, “Oh, uh how about six thirty? I’ll get ready for now” and she raised both eyebrows at me waiting for an answer. “Hello? Earth to Dean?” she said, waving a hand in front of my occupied head. 

“Oh yeah, sound good” I replied, and got up groggily towards my room. 

———————-

I made a left to go to Sammy’s room first. Swinging the door open made Sam jump up from his book. “Dean?” he asked, closing the book. 

“I just don’t know what to do anymore man! I love her I really love her!” I exclaimed, sitting down on his bed and putting my face in my hands. 

He walked over and sat on his desk chair, “you have to tell her Dean.” he said, putting on his puppy dog eyes. 

“Sammy, she deserves better. She needs someone who can give her a white picket fence and sunday barbecues!” I said, placing my hands on my knees in attempt to get up. 

“No. She can’t have those white picket fences, she’s a damn hunter Dean! That life’s long gone, and frankly you’re the best damn thing she can have.” Sam said, trying to reassure me.

I nodded my head, no clear direction, just tiredness. I got up and went into my room, thinking about the possible reactions she would have if I told her how I feel. She’s beautiful, in all aspects, why would she want to spend her life with a rough hunter? 

I began taking out dark jeans, and black shirt to wear to the bar. Once I changed I leaned against the beds headboard, and turned on some music to pass the extra forty minutes left. 

Through the sound of ‘Animal Magnetism’, I could hear a faint knock on my door. 

“Dean?” Y/N’s voice rang, and I ripped the headphones off my head. 

“Come in” I said. 

She came in wearing a tight black dress, almost reaching her knee. Her hair was down, framing her face, and her beautiful eyes were sparkling. Inhaling some air, I asked “Whats up?”, wondering why it is she came in. 

“It’s six-thirty? Are you ready?” she said. Already six-thirty? What the hell? 

“Uh yeah, hold on” I said, and reached for my gun to slip into the back of my jeans. 

She laughed “even in the bars we can’t get a break huh?” and reached out her hand. I took it, and she pulled me out of my room like a child would pull their friend from excitement. My body tingled with joy and nerves as she pulled me to the bunkers door. 

Sammy was already there, opening the door. “Let’s go” he said, as he looked at us. 

————————

The Impala’s engine came to a quiet as we parked beside the bar. 

“Finally a night off!” Y/N said, slamming the car door shut. 

“Long overdue” Sammy agreed, walking towards the entrance. 

We ordered our drinks, but my eyes couldn’t leave Y/N the whole night, everything she did made me want to break down and kiss her. What would it feel like to have my lips on hers? Her hands running through my hair? 

I downed another beer. 

A man sat next to Y/N, big and tough, every girl there was drooling over him. I rolled my eyes and knew Y/N wouldn’t go for him. 

The bits and pieces I could hear over the music weren’t what I thought I would. 

“Hey, the drinks on me” is what I read off the man’s lips. 

Y/N giggled, Damnit. 

They spoke for a long time, and once the man had to leave he slipped her his number. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces I would have to pick up off the floor later. 

“I’m going home” I said to Y/N, picking up my jacket. 

“What? We just got here! You’re hardly even buzzed!” she announced loudly into my ear. 

“Well I’m done for tonight, call me when you need a ride back.” 

“Ugh, alright I’ll got get Sam.” she said, making her way through other people, pushing them aside until she emerged back with a drunk Sam. 

“Really? Already?” I asked, looking at a drunk and happy Sammy. 

“Dean! This was the best idea EVER!” he said, stumbling so Y/N caught him. 

“Let’s get him into the car” she said, and I helped her carry him. 

——

We rolled by the bunker, parking the car into the garage. Y/N slumped Sammy over her arm in a tight hold, and he just laughed until I dropped him into his bed. 

“Well that was short” Y/N said, “But it was a nice break” she added. A hunter she was, but she would never deliberately hurt anyones feelings, like mine right now for instance. I know I ripped her away from the fun because of my jealously. 

“Is something wrong Dean?” she said, reading my face. She tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and bit her lip, damn those lips. 

“Uh no, just…” I trailed off. 

Y/N drew closer, “You can tell me anything you know?” and sat me down on the couch.

I looked into her honest eyes and leaned back on the couch. “I’ve just haven’t been at my best lately. Emotions aren’t a hunters best friend, although we drown in them” I said, telling her what I was thinking in my head. 

“I know what you mean” she said and leaned back with me. Neither of us met each others eyes, just kept looking forward at the wall. She crossed her legs on the table, “not only do we have to deal with the angels and demons shit, but we don’t have time to ourselves. Relationships for that matter is one!” she said, whispering loudly. 

“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a hunter at all” and I think I just told her my secret, that even Sammy doesn’t see.

“Really?” she asked, “I like hunters” I could hear her smirk.

“I like you” I said, before I could even process it. My eyes opened wide and I looked at her waiting for a reaction, I can’t cover this up. 

She turned her head towards me “I like you too Dean” was the last thing I thought she’d say. But she did - right there in front of me Y/N said she likes me too. Maybe she means like a brother, I’m not good enough for her to date. She’ll go back to that bar guy…

“Dean?” she asked after a couple seconds of silence. “I like you more than you probably like me, and I didn’t know how to tell you. But there” she said sitting up, and pulling her dresses strap back up. 

“Me too Y/N. I’ve fallen for you completely, I can’t think straight when you’re around” I began rambling in hopes of a calm. 

She cut me off with a kiss. Her lips felt like heat and sparks, moving in rhythm with mine. Nothing has ever felt this right, and I moved my hand to her neck to draw her nearer. 

She placed her forehead against mine and whispered “I’ve waited so long Dean. So long” as she stared into my eyes. 

“I’ve waited longer” was the last thing I said until our lips pressed together once more. 

——————-

The rest of the night consisted of her head curled up against my chest, and my hand playing with her hair. I could almost shout from happiness. 

I pulled her in, placing my hands completely around her, and brought the blanket up and over us.

Icing on the Cake (1/?)

Found this fun AU prompt on one of alchemistc’s reblogs and had to write it. 

is that REALLY what you want us to write on your custom-order cake?” AU 

A/N: I intended this to be a one-shot, but I loved writing these two so much that there will be at least one more chapter. This one’s a bit lengthy, 2100 words/ FF.NET)

“Mr. Jones. This is Emma from Swan Bakery. I have a few questions about the custom cake you ordered. Can you please give me a call as soon as possible? Thanks.”

Killian looked down at his phone in confusion. Cake? He hadn’t ordered a bloody cake? This woman must be confused. Plus, she didn’t leave her phone number for him to return her call. Leaning forward to his laptop, he searched “Swan Bakery” and found one listing in Boston. Clicking on the website, he was pleasantly surprised with the understated elegance of the cakes on display. The Contact Us page opened to large photo of a striking blonde woman decorating a wedding cake, with a bio to the right for Emma Swan, Owner and Pastry Chef. Killian was suddenly saying an internal thank you for whatever mix-up caused this beautiful woman to call him this morning. Dialing the number listed, he waited for the mystery to be solved.

“Swan Bakery, how can I help you?”

“Ah, hi, I’m returning a call from Emma?”

“This is Emma, is this Mr. Jones?”

Gods, even her voice was gorgeous. “Aye, you said something about a custom cake? Sorry to disappoint you, lass, but I haven’t ordered a cake from you.”

“Uh….hang on.” Killian can hear the muffled sigh and ruffling of papers through the phone and he couldn’t help but feel somewhat sorry for the woman on the other end of the line. She was not starting her day off on the right foot and he felt an unexplainable need to somehow turn her day around.

“Sorry about that. Ok, I have the order right here. I have a custom cake that was ordered last night on our website from Mr. Jones, billing address on file is 32 Market Street. That’s not you?”

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