i think i'm in love :p

  • The Great British Baking Show: Everybody have fun :) :) I'm sure you'll all do fine :) Your Swiss roll is so lovely :) :) :) Very nice :))) *Light ballet music*
  • Any American Cooking Show: YOU GUYS HAVE SIX SECONDS LEFT THEN THE BOMB E X P L O D E S *Gunfire* YOU THINK THAT COUNTS AS FOOD YOU PATHETIC SAD SACK *Ride of the Valkyrie blasting in the background* ILL SEND A BULLET THROUGH YOUR SKULL BEFORE I TAKE A BITE OF THAT *Banshee shriek*

“Is Bruce in here?” Tim figured he might be— Bruce spent a lot of time in the children’s wing of Wayne Enterprises. There were a dozen or so kids in daycare most weekdays, and Bruce liked to hang out.

Tim liked to hang out too. They had nice snacks, and he’d known most of the kids since they were toddlers. And sometimes naps were mandatory.

“Conference call,” Damian told him. (For someone who claimed to hate naps, snackfood, kids, and humanity in general, Damian also spent a lot of time in the children’s wing.) “I don’t know where.” 

He went back to what he was doing, which was arranging a set of pewter soldiers into a complex model of a battlefield, presumably for the benefit of the preschooler sitting next to him. 

“What’s this?”

“The Battle of Issus, 333 BC.”

“Right, obviously.” Tim decided he was curious, so he settled down on the mats to watch.  Damian finished his model; he pulled a marker from the art table and used it as a pointer. 

“Okay. This is the Macedonian army, outnumbered but in the better tactical position, south of the Pinarus River. Their leader is Alexander the Great. And this—” He pointed to his enemy line. “—is the Achaemenid Empire. They’re about to lose.”

Damian tapped his marker on the Macedonian right. “This is the companion calvary, Alexander’s elite force, and they—” he cut off when he noticed his pupil digging in the toy bin, clearly distracted. The kid came up with a battered Transformer, which he set behind Damian’s lines. 

“Elliot. Alexander did not have robots.”

“But,” said Tim, rummaging through the box himself, “did he have wizards?” He pulled a bearded magician out of the tub and held it up for Damian to see. 

“You know he didn’t.”

Tim passed the wizard to Elliot. “But what if he did?”

“Drake.”

“How would that go?”

Drake.”

“Abracadabra, Alexander!” Elliot yelled, gleefully smashing through Damian’s entire left flank.

“Damn it, Drake.” Damian sighed in frustration— not quite the rise Tim was hoping for, but still something. He dropped Elliot’s discarded robot back into the box.

“I don’t know what you were expecting,” Tim told him. “Elliot’s four. He’s too young for— what is this— military history?”

“He was doing fine before you showed up.” Damian started to re-erect his soldiers, but he gave it up after Elliot came in for a second pass. “Which is typical, isn’t it?”

“Good one.”

“Thank you.” Damian crossed his arms. “Fine. I’ll bite. When is he supposed to learn this kind of thing?”

“High school? Maybe never.”

“That can’t be right.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Frequently.” Damian rolled his eyes. “I’m getting a second opinion.”

“I’ll wait.”

Damian checked the room for potential allies. “Thomas?” he called over his shoulder, “You learned military strategy as a kid, right?”

Duke looked up from the book he was reading to a pair of kindergardeners. “Just you, man.”

“Told you.” Tim fished a bag of plastic ninja from the toy box and arranged them pointedly into a row. “How are you still surprised by this kind of thing?”

Damian glared at him. “Okay, first of all? I’m not a— hold on a second. Elliot!”

Elliot froze with a large, plastic dinosaur held aloft over the battlefield. He drew it sheepishly back to his chest. “Sorry.”

“Not in the calvary wing,” Damian told him. “You’ll scare the horses.”

“Here?” Elliot pointed to the front of the phalanx.

“Yes.”

“RAWR.”

“Aim for his center.” Damian turned back to Tim. “Anyway. Why are you still talking to me? I thought we had an agreement about unnecessary contact.”

Keep reading

The MBTI types as P!ATD quotes:
  • INTJ: "I see what's mine and take it."
  • INTP: "I want to live a life from a new perspective."
  • INFJ: "It's better to leave than to be replaced."
  • INFP: "If you're gonna be the death of me that's how I wanna go."
  • ISTJ: "With a sense of poise and rationality."
  • ISTP: "She paints her fingers with a close precision."
  • ISFJ: "They haven't seen the best of us yet."
  • ISFP: "Static palms melt your vibes."
  • ENTJ: "There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you paid for."
  • ENTP: "Crazy equals genius."
  • ENFJ: "Put my heart on my chest, so that you can see it too."
  • ENFP: "I love the things you hate about yourself."
  • ESTJ: "I'm taking back the crown."
  • ESTP: "I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
  • ESFJ: "The cut of your love never hurts."
  • ESFP: "Champagne pouring over us."
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♥ L o v e  i s  a  P r o m i s e - for @armorwars​ ♥

anonymous asked:

I keep thinking about jimon + jace's cheesy pick up lines(even though they're already dating) its the cutest I'm crying

i think the sweetest part about this is that jace normally doesn’t have to resort to silly pickup lines to actually pick up because as we saw on 2x07 jace is just naturally confident, beautiful and cool and smooth - except it all flies out the window the second he falls for simon because all he wants to do is make simon smile even if its at his own expense?? 

consider the following teeny scenario (although this concept deserves MUCH MORE):

  • friday nights are date nights and today’s just supposed to be curling up in bed together with Chinese take-out and watching the latest mission: impossible in jace’s laptop. simon’s exhausted though, and it’s all he can do to change into a different t-shirt and drag himself over to the institute. he ends up falling asleep which his cheek smushed against jace’s shoulder, body aching, and only jolts awake when his phone goes off. 
  • “sorry, sorry,” he says, fretting over the drool darkening jace’s shirt. “this is so uncool - i’m just, i think i got thrown against three different brick walls because that coven from connecticut just does not know how to play nice and i’ve zoomed across all five boroughs today including staten island which, let me tell you-”
  • jace does what he always does when simon gets like this: he leans in and presses kiss after kiss against simon’s mouth, swallowing up the panicked words until simon sighs and kisses him back, bones becoming liquid under jace’s hands. simon’s eyes are still closed when jace pulls away and says, “i thought your legs were hurting from running through my head all day, not running after some new england vampires.”
  • “next time i’ll stick to just your head,” says simon, voice rough with sleep and sweet with laughter. “pretty sure things turned out better for me in there.”

littlemissarendelle  asked:

Hi Cassie! I'm really excited for the CoB 10th Anniv edition! I really love your books and I am obsessed with the Shadowhunter world! I wish I could live in them especially in TID which is my fave series so far out of all. My question is, are we also getting a 10th Anniv edition for Clockwork Angel in the future?

I hope so! Think of the gorgeous illustrations. But we’ll have to wait until 2020. :P