i think i'll go to bed :i

Since readmores don’t work on this blog, I apologize for the uh. Ramble down below, but it’s something i need to just. talk about.


you know, it might just be because it’s super late at night and i just wrote a huge ass philosophy paper that’s causing me to think but.


Do i really matter here ?


Not in this grand metaphysical sense and shit but… here in the roleplaying community.

I try to make friends. I try to be funny and relate-able but…. I don’t know. I want to interact with people, but even people i consider friends (i hope we’re friends anyways) just.

I don’t know. I always feel like they’re getting annoyed of me or that they always hated me, and that’s why the conversations stop, and that’s why it seems that our muses just. Never get that chance to interact.


I want to be active, I really do, but when I try to be active … well, i get sent zilch. Nada. Nothing. And it’s discouraging, you know ? Muse is hard to come by, and the things i am interested in … 


it seems like no one else really is interested in me – save for the few times that people are that i actually don’t feel up to interactions.



Is there anything I could do to really fix this ? Or am I just overthinking it. Because this is something i’ve been feeling since … July maybe ?


What do you guys think? And uh. Please like if you read i guess.

Every single morning, I get up and think, “I won’t make it through today.” And every single night, I go to bed and think, “How did I make through today?” And I think that’s what makes humans special. We do things we thought were impossible without even noticing. And we just keep doing them.
—  Journal Entry; 1 April 2017
Angsty OTP Prompts:
  • "Sorry I ruined your life. Maybe you shouldn't have married me."
  • "If I would've known he was going to die, you think I would've done it?"
  • "It's nothing against you...I just have to leave."
  • "I know you love me, but I'm sick of lying when I say it back."
  • "That's the problem. I love you so much, I'd be willing to die for you."
  • "I'm sorry I made you into who you are today."
  • "People change, and people grow. And I think we just grew apart."
  • "When I look at you, I see my world and that scares the sh*t out of me."
  • "I don't think I can spend another night in the same bed as the man/woman who ruined my life"
  • "I always told her to quit second guessing herself...and she never listened"
  • "I'd rather die than live in a world like this."
  • "Tell me what they did to you, please."
  • "Sorry just isn't going to work this time."
  • "Her parents always hated me, I guess they were right."
  • "The one you love most isn't always the one you spend your life with...and that sucks."
  • "I'll go home, but it's not home unless you're there..."
  • Yuuri, on a trip, who has encountered a string of bad luck- missing a flight, losing his luggage in the process, and then getting robbed of everything else and stranded in a Very Small Town, standing at the door of a Quaint Bed and Breakfast in a pair of scandalously short cut-offs and a a faded and threadbare Britney Spears concert tour t-shirt cut in to a crop top that the owner of the local thrift shop gave to him to wear: okay listen I have had a REALLY bad 24 hours and I have like, three bucks to my name right now but I just really need somewhere to stay until I can get this sorted out with the police and find a way to get home and then I SWEAR I'll be able to pay and I was told you might be able to help me out-
  • Viktor, owner of said Quaint Bed and Breakfast, and also Very Sad, Very Lonely, & Very Very Gay: *looks off in to The Distance* thank you, God.
it’s almost 6 am and i didn’t sleep because i’m ill

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

why i even posted this

youtube

OCN Save Me’s character Choi Man Hee isn’t just any smart and caring guy but someone special and unique, because he’s one of the few well-rounded fat characters in kdramas. We obviously have a lack of fat characters in Korean dramas. If we get them, they’re usually not actually played by fat people or they are the ones we’re supposed to laugh at. One of their main or only purpose in a story is to let us see them either stuffing their faces with food or losing weight. But Man Hee is different and I love that. I want to see more fat characters like him in kdramas, male and female alike.

how do you silence the voice in your head that tells you you’re a talentless hack and everything you write is garbage asking for a friend

Fake Chats #179
  • Taehyung: I can't believe you talked me into this.
  • Jungkook: it was your idea.
  • Taehyung: he's gonna kill us. He's gonna rip out our guts and cut off our heads and then he's gonna go back to sleep like nothing happened.
  • Jungkook: we don't have to do it.
  • Taehyung: I can't believe you think this is a good idea.
  • Jungkook: I don't.
  • Taehyung: I can't take the fall for this. No way. I've been falling all week and my shins are all purple.
  • Jungkook: totally different definitions of fall.
  • Taehyung: and just think of how disappointed Jimin will be.
  • Jungkook: just think.
  • Taehyung: he might even get angry.
  • Jungkook: he might.
  • Taehyung: and it is kinda early to be doing this.
  • Jungkook: very early.
  • Taehyung: why are we doing this?
  • Jungkook: beats me. I think you threatened to steal something of mine and in my sleep-deprived state, I felt vaguely fearful and forgot that I could just tackle you and hold you prisoner.
  • Taehyung: maybe we should just abandon this plan.
  • Jungkook: what a novel idea.
  • Taehyung: c'mon, let's go back to bed.
  • Jungkook: this is my bed.
  • Taehyung: yeah, so get in it.
  • Jungkook: there's already a person in it.
  • Taehyung: I'll go on the inside and you can have the outside.
  • Jungkook: we'll crush Jimin.
  • Taehyung: please, he's too smol.
  • Jungkook: true.
  • Jimin: please tell me you didn't actually go through with your plan.
  • Taehyung: we didn't.
  • Jungkook: how did you know about it?
  • Jimin: I've been here all night, remember?
  • Jungkook: oh yeah. Wait, was Tae here all night, too?
  • Taehyung: yeah.
  • Jungkook: I don't understand how we all fit.
  • Taehyung: Jimin is smol.
  • Jungkook: true.
  • Jimin: shut up and go to sleep.
  • Mika: Yuu-chan, your friends can't come with us wherever we go
  • Yuu: why not?! They are our family, Mika! We should share every important moment together! Think of it as family vacation trip!
  • Mika: this is not a vacation trip. This is our honeymoon. And it's the second night we have to sleep on the couch because Shinoa and Mitsuba stole our bed.
  • Yuu: aw come on! At least we share a small space...together... y'know-
  • Narumi: don't you even think about it. I'm sleeping on the floor right beside you two. The moment I hear a weird sound I'll summon Genbushin
  • Yuu: *nervous laughter* well, we can always go to the bathroom
  • Mika: why did I marry you, again?
Everyday, in the back of my mind you’re there. Some days, you’re the only thing I think of and I search desperately for something else to take my focus. Sometimes I can distract myself and somedays I stay in bed going between crying and laughing as I’m overwhelmed by memories of who we used to be. You’re there constantly, even when I don’t contact you for weeks and it seems as though maybe, just maybe I’ve moved on… I haven’t. You’re always on some part of my mind.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write #180

Imagine Woozi thinking about you before going to bed because the thought of you help calms him enough for him to fall asleep.