i think i would have a heart attack

anonymous asked:

would you like to share you excitement and thoughts regarding yuzu and his 4lz?!! (cause im having a positive heart attack and i know that youre one of the few that approve of him executing that jump)

In this house we appreciate 4lz. And beautiful deep outside edges. And a jump that is so freaking high…he is probably waving to us from planet Hanyu while he does it lol

I honestly don’t get all this negative feedback about lz? I don’t expect him to necessarily land a perfect one here, I expect him to need a while to make it more stable in competition, just like it happened for 4lo. It seems to me like whatever Yuzu does there’s always going to be people complaining. Before the season started he needed 4lz ‘cause he was old and not progressing anymore, now that he is trying it (and we all know he wouldn’t try it if he couldn’t do it, and with a short set up too) he suddenly doesn’t need it and it’s going to ruin him etc. Can this guy ever win? xD

From what I have seen so far, his lutz has so.much.height. It has all the potential in this world to be extremely beautiful. The point is, everybody said he didn’t need loop and he was right. He literally studies figure skating. So, maybe he does know what’s best doesn’t he?

A nurse has heart attack and describes what she felt like when having one

I am an ER nurse and this is the best description of this event that I have ever heard. 

 FEMALE HEART ATTACKS 

 I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is description is so incredibly visceral that I feel like I have an entire new understanding of what it feels like to be living the symptoms on the inside. Women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have… you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor the we see in movies. Here is the story of one woman’s experience with a heart attack: 

 "I had a heart attack at about 10:30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it on. I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, ‘A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up. A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you’ve been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you’ve swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn’t have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation–the only trouble was that I hadn’t taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m. 

After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasms), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering CPR). This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. 'AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening – we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven’t we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I think I’m having a heart attack! I lowered the foot rest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart attack, I shouldn’t be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else… but, on the other hand, if I don’t, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment. 

I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics… I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn’t feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to un-bolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in. I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness, as I don’t remember the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the radiologist was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was bending over me asking questions (probably something like 'Have you taken any medications?’) but I couldn’t make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery. 

I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St Jude are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stents. Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand. 

1. Be aware that something very different is happening in your body, not the usual men’s symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) MI because they didn’t know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion, take some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation and go to bed, hoping they’ll feel better in the morning when they wake up… which doesn’t happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening that you’ve not felt before. It is better to have a 'false alarm’ visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be!
2. Note that I said 'Call the Paramedics.’ And if you can take an aspirin. Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER - you are a hazard to others on the road. Do NOT have your panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what’s happening with you instead of the road. Do NOT call your doctor – he doesn’t know where you live and if it’s at night you won’t reach him anyway, and if it’s daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn’t carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr. will be notified later.
3. Don’t assume it couldn’t be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it’s unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let’s be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive to tell the tale.“

Reblog, repost, Facebook, tweet, pin, email, morse code, fucking carrier pigeon this to save a life!

I wish I knew who the author was. I’m definitely not the OP, actually think it might be an old chain email or even letter from back in the day. The version I saw floating around Facebook ended with "my cardiologist says mail this to 10 friends, maybe you’ll save one!” And knew this was way too interesting not to pass on.

All For Show

Valentine’s Day Special #2

Pair : Steve Rogers x Reader

8. You ask your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend for your sisters couples dinner party. Requested by anon. 

Warning : Language

Word Count : 2,434

Three knocks, that’s all it took before Steve opened the door. He stood there, wearing a tank top and sweats, and his hair damped from sweat, which only meant he just came back from the gym.

“Hey, didn’t expect you here today.” He smiled, waving you in.

“I know, but I needed to talk to you.”

You walked in to his apartment, and plopped down onto his couch. His place was like your second home. You were always there, and if you weren’t, then you two were at your place.

“Beer?” He asked, walking to the kitchen.

“Nah, just water.”

Steve tossed you a water bottle, as he started back toward the living room where you waited.

You took a big swig of the water and felt the cold liquid trickle down your throat. Making you feel somewhat at ease.

“So what did you need to talk to me about?” Steve asked, leaning against the wall across from you.

For some reason you were feeling nervous. Which was strange. Steve was your best friend. You two were so close, you were able to talk to him about anything. He’s seen you in sweats with no makeup on. He’s helped you when you were a drunken mess. And yet, you were somehow nervous about this topic.

“Y/N.” he snapped his fingers, catching your attention. “You okay?”

You slowly nodded, running your hand through your hair. Something you did when you were nervous.

“So my sister is throwing a couples party tomorrow night, and when I RSVP’d a month ago, I was dating Jared-”

“The asshole.” He cut you off.

“Woah, language.” You teased.

He dramatically rolled his eyes and huffed. “Anyways, go on.”

“As I was saying, I told her I’d go and now she’s expecting me to be there.”

“So?” He drawled out.

You swallowed hard, meeting your best friends gaze.

“I was wondering if you can go as my fake boyfriend.” You slightly winced as the words finally fell from your lips.

Keep reading

3

I WORKED HOURS ON THIS. I THINK EVEN DAYS. 

DID I SAY THAT I LOVED HAIKYUU? I LOVE THOSE DORKS SO MUCH! That I feel obliged to apply to draw them well. I REALLY hope that I did well… >w<”” 

Based on this 

dating peter parker...

let me know if you liked this it’s tragically long i went overboard haha

  • first and foremost, peter would be the most loving/attentive/caring and overall best boyfriend to ever exist, ever 
  • he’s also a needy baby who likes attention 
    • “Y/N”
    • “Yes, Peter?”
    • “You haven’t kissed me in, like, five whole minutes” 
  • majority of the time you make peter very flustered so you’re usually the one to initiate the kisses because he’s a blushing mess 
  • he thinks you’re the most gorgeous person to ever walk the earth
  • he cannot believe you’re as in love with him as he is with you
    • “How’d I get so lucky”
    • “Peter stop it it’s not like I’m a magical princess I’m normal stoppp” 
    • “But are you sure about that”
  • he will adamantly deny that he likes staring at you but that’s all he does when you’re with him
  • he prefers to call it gazing because it sounds less creepy and the last thing he wants is for you to think he’s a creep
  • he likes to tease you about the fact that you had a crush on him for most of your freshman year and it annoys you endlessly 
    • “That’s so cute Y/N how adorable”
    • “I will literally break up with you right now”
    • “What no no I’m sorry I love you don’t do that” 
  • the first time he told you that he loved you he stuttered for a solid ten minutes, almost cried because c’mon Peter just tell her you love her you idiot she’s gonna hate you if you keep stumbling over your words like a madman oh my god you haven’t said anything in five minutes no one has ever been silent this long
  • finally he closed his eyes and choked out the words and when he opened his eyes he swore that he had never seen anything as beautiful as the way you were smiling at him in that very moment 
  • after that he has no problem saying it to you whenever he can no matter where you are or what you’re doing
    • “Mr. Parker can you please share what you were just whispering to Ms. Y/L/N with the rest of the class?” 
    • “Oh yeah I was just telling her that I love her because I do and I need to make sure that she doesn’t forget” *cue adorable smile*
    • Oh my god Peter please be quiet I love you too you weirdo” 
  • he kind of lives for embarrassing for you, he thinks it’s the funniest thing 
  • you love Ned too and it kind of makes Peter jealous sometimes which is just hilarious to witness
    • “You’re spending an awful lot of time with Ned” 
    • “…………..I spend every waking moment with you and Ned hangs out with us dummy” 
    • “Just checking”
  • you’re the only person he tells about being Spider-Man because you’re you and he can’t keep something like that from the love of his life that’s just not how it works
  • when he sends Happy voicemails every day he makes sure to update him on how you’re doing and whatever thing you do that day that Peter found adorable
  • when Happy finally texts Peter back he doesn’t ask Peter how he’s doing he asks about you 
  • Peter introduces you to Tony with a proud smile on his face as he practically shoves you at him 
    • “Mr. Stark Mr. Stark Mr. Stark this is my girlfriend the one Happy told you about I wanted her to meet you isn’t she cool Mr. Stark”
    • “As long as she’s not as hyper as you are I think I’ll like her very much”
    • “Oh great ‘cause she’s very calm right Y/N?”
    • “Peter babe please stop yelling in my ear” 
    • “I like her already!”
  • he’s very big on calling you my love because it makes you get all shy and you turn away from him since you’re getting embarrassed
  • he proudly talks about you to anyone within earshot and everyone comes to love you because adorable, precious Peter Parker does too
  • Aunt May might love you more than Peter does 
  • sometimes Peter will come home to find you already sitting at the table with her sipping coffee out of his favorite mug and talking about your days and he just lights up with happiness 
  • you yell at him every time he loses yet another backpack 
    • “when will you learn your lesson about webbing your bag to the wall in dark alleys where thieves and probably murders hang out”
    • “that’d be a never” 
  • you kind of hate that he’s Spider-Man since the job is extremely dangerous and he literally almost died fighting Vulture
    • “are you sure you’re okay? i don’t want you dying on me”
    • “i would never leave you my love i promise” 
  • you yell at him whenever he comes back to his house with new bruises and injuries but he knows you’re just yelling because you care and so he takes the yelling and the angry crying from you and hugs you really tight and strokes your hair and tells you that he’s fine and it’s just a scratch and gives you the whole you should see the other guy spiel 
  • he draws engagement rings on your ring finger and swears he’ll make sure it’s a real one day and not just a shitty circle drawing because yeah he’s fifteen and so are you but who cares you’re the one for him and living without you is a life he doesn’t want to even imagine 
  • it’s just not an option and never will be
  • he gets anxiety whenever you have to ride the train out of Queens and back into Manhattan alone since that’s where you live
    • “but what if something happens and i’m not there and you get hurt i wouldn’t be able to live with myself”
  • he goes through metro cards like water in the summer when he doesn’t have his student one because he refuses to let you take the train alone 
  • he never lets go of your hand when you’re together… so basically he’s never once stopped holding hands with you unless absolutely necessary
  • you telling him to ask Tony to let you become an avenger
  • you want to be Black Widow 2.0 
  • or maybe Scarlet Witch but you don’t have powers like Wanda does so Black Widow 2.0
  • Tony actually says he’ll think about it because whenever he goes to see Peter or Peter comes to see him you tag along ( “we’re kind of a package deal Mr. Stark” ) and you’ve grown on him considerably 
  • after Peter meets the Avengers for the first time you plead with him to let you meet them too and when he finally relents you almost faint in front of Cap and have a heart attack in front of Natasha 
    • “Sorry she’s a little excited she’s not usually like this” 
    • “I think I need a glass of water or an oxygen tank”
    • “Mr. Stark do you have an oxygen tank”
    • “She didn’t faint in front of me I’m offended Y/N”
  • Cap offhandedly says you and Peter are cute kids and you almost die
  • Peter is definitely not jealous aT ALL
  • you reassure him that you love him more than Cap and always will
  • you would never want Peter to think for a second that anyone else could ever take you away from him you love him too much to think about that
  • he’s just ridiculously head over heels beautifully in love with you and he wears that love on his sleeve for the entire universe to see and doesn’t care if he’s called “whipped” because hell yeah he is 
  • he managed to become the boyfriend of the most divine person he’s ever had the pleasure of meeting
  • who wouldn’t be a lovestruck mess over you is the better question
  • at least in Peter’s humble opinion
Cotton Candy

Pairings: Peter Parker x Wilson!Reader

Request: Hi! A request where reader is Wade’s sister and it’s Peter x reader, includes all the avengers. Thank you!           


Vision has created a chatroom.

Vision has added Peter.

Vision: Thor is hogging the kiddies rides. I do not know where Rogers is and I can’t find you and Y/N to help me stop him.

Peter: Cap is with Mr. Stark winning prizes.

Peter: And Y/N is with me on the Ferris wheel but it got stuck, we can see everyone from up here.

Vision: I can fly the both of you down, if you’d like.

Peter: No!

Peter: The view from up here is beautiful.

Peter: But it’s not as beautiful as Y/N.

Vision has added Y/N.

Vision: Your first date with Peter seems to be going well, quite romantic. Being stuck on the Ferris wheel, alone.

Y/N: It would be romantic.

Y/N: If my brother wasn’t in the seat in front of us.

Keep reading

Prompt List of Sarcasm
  1. “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.” 
  2. “Define normal.” 
  3. “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?” 
  4. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” 
  5. “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.” 
  6. “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.” 
  7. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 
  8. “And you wonder why you’re still single.” 
  9. “Remind me to kill you. Please.” 
  10. “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.” 
  11. “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” 
  12. “Were you dropped on your head?” 
  13. “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.” 
  14. “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.” 
  15. “If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.” 
  16. “Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” 
  17. “If I survive, can I go home?” 
  18. “My middle finger salutes you.” 
  19. “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.” 
  20. “I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.” 
  21. “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.” 
  22. “Insanity run in my family. It practically gallops.” 
  23. “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.” 
  24. “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.” 
  25. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 
  26. “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 
  27. “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.” 
  28. “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.” 
  29. “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?” 
  30. “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!” 
  31. “I need therapy after this.” 
  32. “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” 
  33. “I’m not weird. I am limited edition.” 
  34. “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” 
  35. “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.” 
  36. “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.” 
  37. “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?” 
  38. “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.” 
  39. “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.” 
  40. “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.” 
  41. “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.” 
  42. “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!” 
  43. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.” 
  44. “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.” 
  45. “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!” 
  46. “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.” 
  47. “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.” 
  48. “She’s hot, but she’s evil.” 
  49. “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” 
  50. “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.” 
  51. “Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.” 
  52. “You’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater.” 
  53. “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.” 
  54. “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” 
  55. “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.” 
  56. “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.” 
  57. “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.” 
  58. “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.” 
  59. “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.” 
  60. “I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.” 
  61. “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.” 
  62. “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.” 
  63. “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.” 
  64. “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.” 
  65. “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.” 
  66. “I like you. You’re different.” 
  67. “You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.” 
  68. “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.” 
  69. “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” 
  70. “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” 
  71. “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 
  72. “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.” 
  73. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.” 
  74. “I care so little, I almost passed out.” 
  75. “Well behaved woman rarely make history.” 
  76. “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.” 
  77. “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.” 
  78. “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.” 
  79. “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.” 
  80. “How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.” 
  81. “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.” 
  82. “Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.” 
  83. “I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.” 
  84. “You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.” 
  85. “Have fun being deal.” “I will.” 
  86. “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.” 
  87. “It’s called thinking. Go with it.” 
  88. “I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.” 
  89. “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.” 
  90. “I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.” 
  91. “The girl is strange no question.” 
  92. “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.” 
  93. “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.” 
  94. “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.” 
  95. “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”
  96. “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.” 
  97. “I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.” 
  98. “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”
  99. “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.” 
  100. “Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.” 
  101. “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.” 
  102. “You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?” 
  103. “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.” 
  104. “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.” 
  105. “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.” 
  106. “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.” 
  107. “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.” 
  108. “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.” 
  109. “Such big evil in such a little thing.” 
  110. “Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?” 
  111. “What does not kill you will likely try again.” 
  112. “Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.” 
  113. “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.” 
  114. “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.” 
  115. “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” 
  116. “What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”
  117. “In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.” 
  118. “I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.” 
  119. “Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.” 
  120. “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.” 

Request [x] Masterlist [x]

The Real World: Avengers Tower
  • Interviewer: So what's it like living with Tony?
  • Bruce: When I moved in, he insisted on funding all of my research. Except, you know, ever since The Incident, all my work's been theoretical. It's not actually that expensive. I've started just spending all the extra on fruit pies, just to see if he was keeping track. He isn't. There are a lot of unused rooms in this building, and at least three of them are stacked floor to ceiling with fruit pies. He hasn't said a word.
  • Natasha: It turned out Pepper and I both speak French. Tony doesn't. Now, whenever he walks in, we just start whispering in French and giggling. Half the time we're just exchanging recipes. He pretends not to be eavesdropping, but the other day I caught him asking JARVIS what 'des oeufs' meant.
  • Clint: I bought this big bag of little plastic flies, right? And whenever he's not paying attention, I throw them into his drink. Half the time he doesn't even notice and just drinks the damn things, but the other half? He starts checking all the house filtration systems, the exterminators, the works. He can't figure out where all these flies are coming from. He's fumigated three times in the last month.
  • Thor: I attempted to provide assistance with a project, but Stark assured me that it was 'very technical', and that I would not understand the intricacies. I can see why he would think so, as I am a mere Prince of Asgard, taught such basic engineering when I was a child and his ancestors could not yet walk. It has been five weeks, and he still has not corrected the misaligned condenser coil causing the problem.
  • Steve: I don't know what Howard taught that kid, but he seems to be under the impression that homosexuality was invented in 2000. He keeps leaving magazines and pictures lying around like the sight of two men holding hands is going to give me a heart attack. I don't have the heart to tell him about the Greeks.
  • Interviewer: So how are things in Avengers Tower?
  • Tony: How are things? I have no idea. I really don't. There's some kind of insect infestation in the vents and I think a spy is trying to seduce my girlfriend into moving to France. I tried to prank Captain America with gay porn, but him and Thor just started trying to reverse-engineer workout routines. The other day I went into one of the spare rooms, and I found some kind of one-armed sex hobo sitting on a throne of empty fruit pie boxes. I just walked out and closed the door. I don't even wanna know.
Hormones and instincts

Originally posted by imlostinsantacarla

I decided to put these two requests together because of how similar they are :)

Words: 1,594
Seth Clearwater x Reader


“Paul, leave Seth alone.” Emily scolded and swatted the older wolf around the back of his head; it did nothing to stop Paul’s giggles.  
Seth sat across the bonfire from his laughing pack brothers, with his arms crossed and scowl firmly in place. Emily stepped around and gently smoothed his hair, “You ignore them, you’re a gentlemen and that’s what girls like most.”
“Wrong, girls like confidence.” Paul countered.
“Confidence yeah, but you’re just arrogant.” Embry came to Seth’s rescue and was punched in the arm by Paul for the trouble.

“Seth, Y/N is your imprint, it’s natural to be worried about hurting her or upsetting her.” Sam advised, he gave Emily a sad smile as he pulled her into his lap before continuing; “Besides you’re both young, don’t get too stressed out about things like this.”
“It’s just a shame that you’ve got the imprint and teenage hormones both fighting for control in there.” Leah added and pushed the side of Seth’s head with two fingers.

Seth batted her hand away, “Can we all just stop with the advice now? Before Y/N gets here.”
Jared chimed in, “At least she already knows about wolves.”
Seth glared at Embry, “Yeah thanks for that.”
Embry held his hands up in defence, “I smelt a leech in the area, I went to check on my baby sister. Who could have guessed that she’d see a massive wolf and instantly think that the old legends were true?”
“No one, because no one in the worlds thinks that way except Y/N.” Quil snorted. It was true, the pack were all incredibly surprised to find that you’d figured them out.
Seth sighed, “I just hope that she never sees me phase, it would terrify her.”
Leah flinched at the memory of  their father seeing her phase and it causing his heart attack, Emily sent her a soft smile which Leah ignored.
“Yeah I wouldn’t wanna see you naked if I was her either dude.” Paul snickered and Seth threw his empty drink can at him.
Laughter rippled through the pack, Jared pointed to the top of the beach, “Here comes your little girlfriend now.”

You walked leisurely down the beach towards the bonfire when you heard the laughter erupt from your friends, a few of them turned to face you. You caught Seth’s eye and gave him a little wave, he turned away from you with his arms crossed over his chest. You dropped your hand and tried not to look too upset as you joined them. Leah budged across her log so that you had to take the only free spot next to Seth.
“Bro.” You gave Embry a wave.
“Brat.” He greeted with his usual grin.
“Sounds like you guys are up to no good.” You laughed as you joined the conversation.
“They’re just being assholes.” Seth grumbled and you tried to school your shocked expression at his pouting face, it just didn’t suit his usual carefree personality.
“Well that’s nothing new.” You smiled and Seth returned it with a dazzling smile of his own, the anger in his face easing away.
Kissing noises caught your attention and you turned to give Jared and Paul a confused look but before they could explain themselves Seth had jumped up and shoved Paul off of his log and onto the sand. The laughter stopped and everyone held their breath as Paul stared up at Seth, his mind ticking over and taking in what had just happened.

Sam had already moved Emily to the side and was starting to stand when Paul snarled, “You stupid pup.”
You swallowed hard, he was shaking so hard with anger that he was practically vibrating, you stood and caught Seth by the arm to try to pull him away.
He wrenched his arm away from you, “Get away from me.”
His words packed a punch, Seth was shaking hard too and Leah and Sam were between Paul and Seth but that didn’t stop Paul from pushing himself up and trying to lunge at Seth, his face was red and scrunched like he was in pain. Seth, even though at a clear height disadvantage, caught Paul by the waist and pivoting his entire boy threw him further away from the bon fire. Paul skidded in sand on his back before he managed to flip himself over, he looked up at Seth and snarled, he was shaking even harder now.

Seth dared to take his eyes off of him for a moment to turn to you, he was also shaking now, he caught you by your waist and pushed you back towards your brother. Embry caught you with ease and pulled you behind him, quickly you noted that Kim and Emily had been pushed behind Jared and Jacob. Peaking over your brothers shoulder you watched as Seth turned in time to catch Paul as he launched himself at him, his skin bursting and giving way to fur and claws. Seth was knocked backwards but quickly sprung back and out of his own human form rearing up at Paul.

“Sam stop them.” Emily pleaded.
Sam stood, scarily calm in between the two wolves as they circled each other. “I’ve half a mind to let you two idiots tear into each other.” Sam boomed, “But I think you’ve both done enough damage for today.”
He nodded back towards the bonfire and both wolves followed his gaze to find you clinging to the back of Embry’s shirt, eyes wide and lips trembling. Seth whimpered, Paul lowered his head and Sam sent them both into the woods like a parent tired of his children’s antics.

Embry took you home and you didn’t say much to him during the journey. Sure, you knew about the pack but seeing it, and seeing Paul nearly hurt Seth had you. It hurt in the way that knowing Seth would never see you as a partner hurt, it hurt you because that was all you truly wanted but you knew it couldn’t happen.
Yet, knowing all of that logically didn’t stop the fear that he might be hurt.

Damn, you felt like an idiot.

The next day Seth came to find you and even though your friendship with him was becoming bittersweet because of your unrequited feelings you couldn’t bring yourself to not let him into the house. He stood awkwardly in your hallway until you invited him into the living room when he stood there awkwardly.

You sat on the sofa and patted the space beside you, “Seth you can sit down.”
He sat on the sofa but as far away from you as he could; you tried to ignore the sting of rejection.

Seth cleared his throat awkwardly and ran a hand back through his hair, “Look Y/N I know I’m probably the last person that you want to see right now but I wanted to apologise for last night.”
“I saw just scared.” You admitted and Seth flinched but you continued, “You could have been really hurt Seth.”

“What?” He asked, his nose scrunched adorably in confusion.
“Seth, I was so scared that you were going to get hurt.” You told him and took a chance to reach out and gently squeezed his hand. When you moved to take your hand away, Seth’s mind clicked and he caught your hand with his and held it softly.
“That’s why you were scared?” He asked quietly.
“Well it’s a good enough reason isn’t it? For the record you’re never the last person that I want to see.” You asked.
He gave you a dimpled smile, “Well, yeah I guess it is and thanks.”
Now you realised that, in taking your hand, Seth had pulled you closer to him. The closeness made your stomach flip with butterflies, the heat rolling off of his skin and the fact that he always smelt incredible had you leaning further into him. For once, Seth’s mind was free of thoughts of messing things up; instead he was utterly and unapologetically wrapped up in you.

He leaned into you, and without worry or self-doubt haunting him, he kissed you. A soft, gentle kiss. Excitement bubbled through you and you found yourself smiling into the kiss, which made Seth smile in response until eventually you had to pull away from each other because the kiss had fallen victim to your grins.
“What took us so long?” Seth asked, his grin taking your breath away.
“Wolves are notoriously difficult.” You teased and kissed the tip of his nose.

“Well isn’t this adorable!” You heard from the doorway, both of you jumped and whipped your heads around to were Quil and Jacob were laughing at Embry who stood with his hands over his eyes.
“Is it safe for me to look yet?” Embry asked.
“No, Seth’s taking her clothes off man.” Quil told him.
“What?!” Embry practically screeched and ripped his own hand free from his eyes only to find Seth giving him a sheepish grin and you trying to bury your burning face in your hands.
You moved your hands from your face as Seth leaned back and kissed your cheek softly, ignoring the boys wolf whistles, “Let me take you on a real date?”
You glared over at your brother who was dramatically whining about you growing up while Quil and Jacob pretended to comfort him, “Anything to get me away from these idiots.”  

Everything Wrong with Netflix's version of Death Note

(This will be step by step while I watch it)

OBVIOUSLY IT CONTAINS SPOILERS This also does not cover the white washing or anything beyond the story/plot of the movie. Obviously the white washing was reason enough to not watch this disaster but my curiosity got the best of me.

1) who is that girl with dark hair? Is that supposed to be misa..:? If so, why does she seem to have no interest in light at the beginning?
2) Light is a little wuss; normally he would be able to talk himself out of every situation or not be involved with the bullying at all.
3) this principle is a huge dick + why the fuck doesn’t he go after the dude that knocked Light’s lights out?
4) holy shit, lights little bitch scream + freak out in detention
5) why are you hitting yourself?
6) ryuk is the green fucking goblin apparently
7) I personally don’t think light would kill a bully, he tends to go after people who are real criminals, not emotionally compromised teens
8) why the fuck would he go right for decapitation?
9) who is going to clean up that classroom?
10) why didn’t he get in trouble if it was that much of a mess?
11) light’s relationship with his dad is bad. In the anime all he cared about besides becoming the world’s new god + getting rid of baddies was his family.
12) Light’s still afraid of Ryuk after the first meeting… even though an apple rolled out of the opposite side of the room he showed up in to make sure that he was introduced (again).
13) Light doesn’t seem to have a sister so far, and his mom is dead. Sure, it gives him motivation to use the Death Note but they haven’t touched upon the real reason (he was bored) which makes him seem more justified. Which isn’t the point of Death Note. Light’s supposed to be morally compromised.
14) his last name is Turner instead of Yagami
15) he fucking had the death note when “Mia” comes to talk to him and he friggin shows her it. What the fuck, why would he do it? He even showed her that he killed that bully. Light never would have done that. Ever.
16) he shows her how it works + fucking kills in front of her!!!!!
17) he actually likes misa instead of being a bag of dicks and showing everyone that he’s a manipulative asshole like he’s supposed to be. We’re not supposed to like this jerk. Although I think I liked him better in the anime compared to this little bitch
18) he hasn’t used the heart attack Death yet, he’s mostly done accidents, which doesn’t fit his MO
19) he fucking outs himself for recognition by making people write in Japanese instead of just keeping quiet and going about his business. Sure, Light has an ego but he wouldn’t want to have people investigating him.
20) L actually goes to a crime scene. He wouldn’t risk that, even if he was wearing a mask.
21) the fuck are those light up sun glasses and why does he ask people to sing a weird ass song for him?
22) Light is out as pro Kira immediately to his dad, making him suspicious. I recall him playing devils advocate and saying that Kira has a point, but that Kira needed to be stopped in the anime.
23) L doesn’t mask his voice on video chat
24) the justice for the wicked website looks like Reddit or four chat. Some shitty, non gothic or scary looking site
25) Light is too emotionally compromised by “Mia”, why the hell is he so enthralled with her?
26) the police chief immediately meets with L in person
27) “please James, have a seat. Rest your glutes.”
28) WHAT THE FUCK, WHY IS THE ACTUAL L HOLDING A PRESS CONFERENCE!?!?!?
29) Light is being creepy with his dad. Immediately asks about L. Tries to spin it light L is Kira instead. Then proceeds to ask what would happen if Kira was caught.
30) Light wears sunglasses at dusk/night
31) “it’s my book” says light, who suddenly turned into a 4-year-old
32) Ryuk kills all the FBI agents. He wouldn’t interfere with Light’s plans or help in any way usually. That, and he keeps telling Light to give the notebook up.
33) Light’s dad went on tv with his name + face. Light basically gives himself away by not killing him. I don’t recall that happening in the anime at all, if I’m wrong please feel free to correct me.
34) idk why but Ryuk’s head looks huge compared to his body.
35) pulling a fork out of a holder makes the same sound as a knife apparently
36) Light had a temper tantrum in front of L for a few seconds and then gives him a creepy face. He basically tells L he’s Kira by submitting to playing “the game”.
37) Watari goes missing to go get L’s name for Light. It tips L off big time.
38) L gets over emotional, goes after Light. light’s dad threatens to kill L. What the fuck?
39) Ryuk isn’t interested in light’s game at all. He just wants to give the notebook to someone else or kill Light.
40) no mention thus far of shinigami eyes
41) Light wears a fucking top hat at one point
42) the Wammy house is abandoned, leaving me to believe that there will be no Near later on in this shit show
43) the homecoming picture scene. Seriously. What the fuck was Light doing?
44) Light leaves his locker open, another dumb picture inside
45) Watari is found in Wammy house, doesn’t tell Light L’s name + is shot by people looking for him (deployed by L) because “Mia” wrote it in the death note. Upside is that she calls Light a pussy.
46) “Mia” reveals that she killed all the FBI agents + is way smarter than Light. She even tries to kill him so she can have the Note book. The reason that I put this on the list is because there’s no way the normal misa was this smart + a bad ass. As far as this Netflix series goes, I’m all for her killing pussy-light.
47) really bad remix of L’s original theme
48) despite trying to kill Light, Mia still warns him about the cops.
49) L can’t drive for shit and almost hits innocent people on the sidewalk while screaming.
50) wow that’s a lot of trash bags in that one ally way
51) L said he didn’t carry guns earlier because they’re distracting. L later points a gun while yelling “Light”.
52) Light isn’t at all like his character in the anime. He never manipulates people to the extent that he was previously able to. He also never befriends L, which probably turned out to be the worst thing for him.
53) Light fucking decides to explain the notebook to L before some dude in an apron beats L with a wooden beam. Said man then says “Lord Kira” and let’s Light go.
54) Light’s last stand is in a Farris wheel
55) Light thinks he can somehow run away from everything when he’s literally stuck in Farris wheel surrounded by cops
56) Light put Mia’s name in the book that said she’ll die if she takes it from him; wrongly predicts that he can convince her not to take it. Ends up being some fucked up farris wheel Romeo and Juliet ending with bad music.
57) mia lands in fucking flowers while Light lands in water even though they fell from the same point
58) L is perfectly fine even though he had his head smacked with a beam hard enough to knock him out
59) the Note that says that Light will die conveniently lands in a burning trash can + that means he still lives. L gets fired or something.
60) Light is in a coma but doesn’t seem to be guarded by police even though it was pretty clear he was Kira. Someone sneaks in and gives him the death note back
61) dad knows he was Kira but doesn’t really do anything
62) inappropriate theme music and inappropriate time
63) some of the above comments are solved through a really shitty explanatory Death Note entry
64) L’s laugh and then immediately sad look
65) it ends with so many questions + really sucky and inappropriate song still playing.

66) neither L or Light really win- Light doesn’t die/ get thrown in jail on screen and L doesn’t die/ catch Light.

° ✧ WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT PROMPTS.

triggers apply, mentions of death, murder, threats, sexuality and sexual/nsfw mentions. feel free to add/change pronouns.

❛ Anybody know you’re here? ❜
❛ Well, you see, I didn’t know where your office was. ❜
❛ In other words, the whole town knows you’re here! Get out! ❜
❛ You don’t know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do. ❜
❛ You don’t know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do. ❜
❛ I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way. ❜
❛ Don’t you realize you’re making a big mistake? ❜
❛ I didn’t kill anybody. I swear! ❜
❛ The whole thing’s a set up. A scam, a frame job. ❜
❛ My whole purpose in life is to make… people… laugh! ❜
❛ I’m out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? ❜
❛ Toons are supposed to make people laugh. ❜
❛ You don’t understand. Those people needed to laugh. ❜
❛ Then when they’re done laughing, they’ll call the cops. ❜
❛ A laugh can be a very powerful thing. ❜
❛ Why? Because you made him/her laugh? ❜
❛ Okay, nobody move! ❜
❛ You heard me, I said drop it! ❜
❛ I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage. ❜
❛ I’d love to embrace you. ❜
❛ Put that gun down, you buck-toothed fool! ❜
❛ Give me another excuse to pump you full of lead. ❜
❛ So you thought you could get away with it, didn’t you? ❜
❛ Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks. ❜
❛ We toons may act idiotic, but we’re not stupid. ❜
❛ You mean you could’ve taken your hand out of that cuff at any time? ❜
❛ No, not at any time, only when it was funny. ❜
❛ I would have been here right after you called, but I had to shake the weasels. ❜
❛ I want you to know I love you. ❜
❛ Is he/she always this funny, or only on days when he’s/she’s wanted for murder? ❜
❛ Can you guess what this is? ❜
❛ Freeway? What the hell’s a freeway? ❜
❛ Traffic jams will be a thing of the past. ❜
❛ Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ❜
❛ Is this man removing evidence from the scene of the crime? ❜
❛ I see working for a toon has rubbed off on you. ❜
❛ What do I look like? A stenographer? ❜
❛ I’d say it was the booze talking. ❜
❛ Got a thing for rabbits, huh? ❜
❛ Search the place, boys, and leave no stone interned. ❜
❛ You think that’s funny? ❜
❛ No hard feelings, I hope. ❜
❛ You won’t think it’s funny when I stick that pen up your nose! ❜
❛ Look, the stain is gone. It’s disappearing ink. ❜
❛ The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller. ❜
❛ So what happened, huh? ❜
❛ You can drop anything you want on his head, he’ll shake it off. ❜
❛ One too many refrigerators dropped on his head? ❜
❛ Don’t you appreciate the magnitude of that? ❜
❛ I’m surprised you’re not more cooperative. ❜
❛ Remember how they always thought there wasn’t a way to kill a toon? ❜
❛ That’s one dead shoe, eh, boss? ❜
❛ I would think you of all people would appreciate that. ❜
❛ I don’t know how many times we have to do this damn scene! ❜
❛ If you really needed money so bad, then why didn’t you come to me? ❜
❛ I’ve already got a stiff on my hands, thank you. ❜
❛ So I took a couple of dirty pictures, kill me. ❜
❛ Nose? That don’t rhyme with “walls.” ❜
❛ Seriously, what do you see in that guy/girl? ❜
❛ You need a heart, before you can have an attack. ❜
❛ Are you trying to give me a heart attack? ❜
❛ I can tell you now it ain’t gonna come cheap. ❜
❛ Question is, do you have the way? ❜
❛ Jumpin’ without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain’t it? ❜
❛ I don’t think you want it. ❜
❛ What the hell happened in here? ❜
❛ I’ve never seen a mess like this! ❜
❛ What do you call the middle of a song? ❜
❛ What do you think you’re doing, chump? ❜
❛ Don’t let me catch your peepin’ face around here again. Got it? ❜
❛ Stop that laughing. ❜
❛ You know what happens when you can’t stop laughing? ❜
❛ One of these days, you’re gonna die laughing. ❜
❛ We just want the rabbit. ❜
❛ What are we gonna do? ❜
❛ The best part is, they work for peanuts. ❜
❛ Work’s been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. ❜
❛ Long time, no see! ❜
❛ What are you doing here? ❜
❛ Remember you never saw me. ❜
❛ Boy, what is this, some kind of secret room? ❜
❛ That’s it. I’m calling the cops. ❜
❛ I come here for help and what do you do? ❜
❛ So long, and thanks for nothing. ❜
❛ Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife! ❜
❛ A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have. ❜
Actual things said to me by health care professionals while working as a healthcare professional

You can’t be in pain, you laughed at someone’s joke.

You were fine yesterday, you must be faking.

Migraines and asthma attacks are 100% preventable. You only get them because you want to cause drama.

During an asthma attack: I can hear you wheezing when you breathe. Stop being so dramatic. 

About being incapacitated by a migraine: We handle our little headaches like adults here. 

You need to stop it with the health problems. It worries people, and that disrupts their work flow. 

I always find myself wanting to excuse John’s behavior, just because I loved him. It’s like a child, sure he’s a naughty child, but don’t you call my child naughty. Even if it’s me he’s shitting on, don’t you call him naughty. That’s how I felt about this and I still do. I don’t have any grudge whatsoever against John. I think he was a sod to hurt me. I think he knew exactly what he was doing and because we had been so intimate he knew what would hurt me and he used it to great effect.
—  Paul McCartney
Sick Day

Characters: Dean, Reader, Sam

Summary:  Dean has the flu

Word Count:  2311

Warnings:  None. I think I fluffed.

Tags are at the bottom.  As always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

Sick Day

Kicking the covers off, you give up. Dean has been tossing and turning all night, and you can’t take it anymore.

Crossing to the other bed, you shake Sam gently. “Mmm…” he answers.

“Sam,” you say, shaking harder, “Sam, scoot over.”

“Hmm?”

“Scoot over.”

He rolls over onto his side and you climb into his bed. When the three of you had to share a room, you always opted to sleep with Dean. Sam tends to take up the entire bed with his massive frame. Dean isn’t much better, but you still end up with a little more room in his bed.  

Sam rolls back over onto his other side, snoring softly. Dean moans incoherently in his sleep from the other side of the room. You’re not sure if bunking with Sam is an improvement in your sleeping conditions, but eventually, you drift off to sleep.

———

Keep reading

Ad-Listed. [smut]

A;N: So, hello! This is kind of different for me, I’m well aware of that, but I had the idea in my head and I couldn’t let it go! This is an AU as Stiles is not in BH, he’s in his senior year of college! Please let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy xo Lau

Pairing: StilesxReader

Author: thelittlestkitsune

Warnings: Smut. 18+ Explicit Content.

Word count: .10, 810

Listen to me.

One week to Kirstie’s wedding.  

You groaned as you slid into the pleather booth at the local diner, glancing at your phone. Ten till two and he said he’d be here at two. Guess I better get a coffee then. You flagged the waitress, ordering a latte as you sat and scrolled through your phone, looking at the date your bridesmaid dress was supposed to arrive. Why did you leave getting your dress until so late, you always leave everything until it’s so late. You sighed to yourself as the waitress brought your coffee, a wide grin on her face. You smiled back as you looked out the window, watching as Mike walked past the window.

Keep reading

2

2

She was achy, her eyes were killing her and the constant thrum in her head was just a friendly reminder that she had cried herself to sleep last night, and was now paying the consequences.

She was sure she didn’t look that great either. Her normal put together look was just not gonna happen today, she was too damn tired. Running a hand through her messy ponytail, she sighed, buttoning the blouse she had on, holding her hands to her heart. How did she get here?

She had never thought he would hurt her, she trusted him. He knew how important that trust was to her, so how could he do this?

The “he” in question was none other than her boyfriend of six months, Jughead jones.

Leaning against her locker, gently resting her head on the cool metal grates she closed her eyes. She was early and she allowed herself a minute to enjoy the quiet of the empty halls. She had to wake up practically an hour early to avoid Jughead, he always walked her to school and she couldn’t even look at him right now.

Thinking of the beanie wearing boy, her eyes welled with unshed tears, she loved him. She was so stupid. She should have learned, it was nearly impossible to love her. Archie had made that clear, and now the picture in her phone of Jughead and Sabrina spellman further cemented that fact.

She had been having an amazing day, cherrleading with Ronnie, manicures with Kevin. She settled into her bed content and happy last night.

That was until she received a picture message from Cheryl blossom with the words

“I know we aren’t besties, but I wanted you to see it from me first. Sorry girl.”

Attached to it was a picture of Jughead kissing the short haired blonde in a booth at pops, it was taken from a distance so it was a bit blurry, the beanie was visible and the curvy blonde was recognizable from any distance.

Obviously he didn’t care about her at all,he didn’t even try to hide. It all happened right there at pops, she was humiliated, heart broken and just sad.

Suddenly students started filtering in and she lifted her head from the locker. Immediately she noticed the looks, people were staring at her whispering. Holding her head high, she clutched her books to her chest. They wouldn’t win, not with her.

Suddenly the front doors slammed open and jughead stood feet away from her, he looked almost worse than she did, the blood shot eyes, dirty flannel and missing beanie.

Woah. She had only seen him without a beanie a few times and that was never in front of other people. She wasn’t going to stand here and admire his mess of black waves though, she had to go. Get out of this hallway. Turning on her heel, she took off, shoulders slumped and tears steaming. She heard his heavy, quick footsteps behind her.

“Betty, bets, please. Talk to me, you wouldn’t answer any of my messages last night and when I came over your dad said you wouldn’t see me, I have to explain, please let me explain.” He was pleading. She could hear it in his voice. Jumping to stand in front of her he reached for her face “bets” she flinched away. All she could see was that damn picture.

“Just…just leave me alone.” She whispered

“Betty.” He choked out.

Suddenly she was ushered into a classroom and was being embraced by the gorgeous raven haired girl she was lucky enough to call her best friend.

“It’s not what you think B, I was there I saw it all. That skank pretty much jumped him. I know it looks horrible, but you have to believe him. He loves you.”

Betty couldn’t comprehend all this. It was too much

“ I have to go, class is starting. Thank you Ronnie.” She walked out the door.

Maybe she was right, maybe it was all a misunderstanding. But could she let her heart be that vulnerable? She’d allowed her heart to be destroyed by Archie, she couldn’t let that happen again.

Walking into her chemistry class, she took a deep breathe, she forgot. She sat next to Jughead in this class. The room went quiet as she took her seat. Everyone was waiting for her to explode. Fortunately for her, her family had taught her to only explode on the inside.

As soon as professor flute started speaking, Jughead turned to her.

“ I am so sorry baby.” She straightened a bit, he only ever called her baby when he was scared.

“I didn’t even realize it was happening. One second she’s asking for my ketchup and the next she’s sitting there, talking to me, touching me. Than before I knew it she attacked me. I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have let her get that close, I don’t think. I’m the biggest asshole in the world. But I promise you, I did not kiss her. I would never. I.. betty .. please you have to know how much I love you.”

She looked into his eyes finally, her heart ached when she noticed the tears in her eyes.

“She’s beautiful juggie.” She whispered

His eyes widened and he shook his head, placing his hand under her chin

“Betty.. don’t you get it? You’re everything.”

Her eyes closed and she let the tears hit his palm.

“I love you Jughead. I can’t.. I can’t let you break my heart.. I don’t..”

“No.” he said drawing the professors eyes towards his. Even the old man seemed to realize this couldn’t wait “No Betty. That’s not me, I will never break your heart. Not on purpose. You know me, I would rather die than hurt you. You’re so beautiful and good and kind I… God please don’t leave me. ”

She closed her eyes when she felt his tears hit her arms, that he was gripping.

“I believe you ” she finally breathed out, grabbing his hand.

Almost all of the tension he was holding in was instantly released. “Thank you, thankyou so much.”

“I’m gonna kill Sabrina, you know that right?” She said her face hard as stone.

Jughead nodded

“If it makes you feel any better, I pretty much lost it on her, called her a few choice names and then very gently shoved her out of the booth.”

Betty laughed, leaning into her boyfriend.

“That’s nothing compared to when I see her.”

He snorted
“I know, I expect nothing less.”

Looking into his eyes, she saw the love shining through them, it made her heart flutter

“I love you Jughead.”

He dropped his lips to hers, with the brightest smile she had ever seen he whispered

“Not nearly as much as I love you Betty Cooper.”

As soon as there lips touched each other’s the class erupted into simultaneous
“Awwwwws”

And professor flute cleared his throat effectively ruining the moment.

“Now if we can continue.” He raised a pointed brow towards the couple.

Swinging his arm over Betty, Jughead smiled at the teacher

“After you.”

Betty giggled.

Word for Word (M)

Originally posted by jeonbase

“Less talking. More fucking. Yeah?”

Part 1 | Part 2

3.4k, smut, jungkook/reader, friends with benefits au (+ college + fuckboy)


Jeon Jungkook is a fuckboy through and through. If you look at all his social media photos, all you see are countless images of him sandwiched between two girls, his muscular arms wrapped around their shoulders. Two different girls in each picture, never the same. Most of the photos are dark, dimly lit party scenes with the flash in their eyes, but sometimes there are filter-saturated beach pictures in which Jungkook’s shirtless and hugging girls in bikinis.

(Quite frankly, at times you weren’t really sure who to be jealous of: Jungkook or the girls. Both looked really fucking good. But it’s not like you were really Instagram stalking him and actually cared about his pictures or anything. Totally not.)

Keep reading

I tried oops

These are kinda rushed but I really wanted @lovelylangst to feel better as soon as possible, so hopefully these are okay ^^;

KLANGST

-Normally tiffs between the two end when either Shiro or Allura put their foot down, but sometimes Lance can’t help but keep pushing Keith’s buttons.

-Keith has had previous anger issues which had wormed their way out while he was living in the desert, but have made their way back after meeting Lance.

-Keith, in need of something to say, says “I bet you couldn’t keep quiet for five minutes!” Which Pidge jokingly adds on “I don’t think he even knows the definition of quiet.”

-Lance is never one to back down from a challenge;)

-But our blue boy is a little hurt by Pidge’s comment.

-Things take a turn for the worse when-

-Lance, wanting to prove he knows the definition of quiet, keeps absolutely silent throughout a whole mission (he thought about just turning his com of, but he isn’t a cheater); by doing this, Lance can’t call for help when some Galra Soldiers attack. The soldiers keep asking him where Voltron is, and where the Castle of Lions is located, but Lance refuses to answer (now for the sake of keeping his team and the princess safe instead of giving the team the silent treatment) The Galra quickly become annoyed and basically put Lance’s throat beneath their boot, putting more and more pressure on his throat the longer Lance keeps silent. After Lance finally returns to the castle where everyone is waiting, he is quickly yelled at by not only Shiro but also Keith(“Stop being such a kid, Lance! It doesn’t fucking matter if you know how to be quiet or not!”) only after Keith finishes yelling is when he realizes that ‘Oh shit, Lance is hurt’ and Lance is quickly placed into a pod. When Lance is released from the pod, they find that the damage done to his vocal cords could not be reversed, leaving Lance to live his life without his voice. The news really hits Keith hard, making him tear up and-“I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault. If I hadn't… god, Lance. I love your voice…”


KLANGST

When Keith was young and being moved into and out of houses, his mind made up an imaginary friend with no name. All he knows is that this friend was his first crush and love, but when he gets older, he finally starts to notice that the unknown friend is something he made up and he forgets about him.
After moving in with Shiro and Allura, and their adopted daughter Pidge, he meets Lance at the high school; who looks and acts exactly like his imaginary friend.


KLANGST

-Keith and Lance both are crushing on each other, but are oblivious to the others feelings.

-Keith hadn’t ever really felt attraction to somewhere before, so he is scared he caught a weird space flu since his tummy feels like it has butterflies in it and he always feels hot and sweaty whenever he is alone with Lance.

-Lance has fallen in love one too many times and is afraid to tell Keith, since they’re already fighting purple furries and are super stressed as it is (plus he is sure Shiro would kill him if he hurt Keith’s feelings)

-Keith goes to Hunk for advice on his space flu, and only gets sent away with cookies and a reminder to tell Lance how he feels around him. Keith was going to, but of course the castle is suddenly under attack.

-And of coURSE LANCE GETS HURT.

-AND SO HE HAS TO STAY IN THE PODS AND KEITH THINKS HE NEEDS A POD TOO BECAUSE HE FEELS LIKE HIS HEART IS GOING FASTER THAN A RUSSIAN RACE HORSE.

-I actually don’t have anything else for this prompt.