i think i want to resign

hey, so im a 16 year old trans guy who was outed to my family two years ago. since then, theyve gone from thinking it was a phase to being actively transphobic. my mom literally refers to me as “s/he”, both my parents refer to me as delusional and have repeatedly told me im selfish for wanting to transition. ive resigned myself to having to put up with this until im 18, but when im legally an adult i want to be completely financially independent from them so they cant hold back my transition by threatening to cut me off. ive already given up on going to college, because i have no way of paying without their help. ive applied to several jobs, but haven’t been hired anywhere yet. my paypal is paypal.me/theartofdestruction if any of yall want to donate. im currently really bad at digital art, but i can draw you something on paper for $5-$10. if all of my followers donated $1, id be able to transition & start a new life where im not constantly afraid. please, donate or rb if you can. this means the world to me

That whole “Bitty never jokes about babysitting” thing absolutely killed me like, can you imagine little southern gay Eric R. Bittle who has internalized the idea that gay men can’t have kids, and even though he’s always wanted a whole mess of children, has just kind of resigned himself to being Uncle Eric to all his friend’s kids. And then one day while he’s in the kitchen baking, Jack comes in and sits down at the counter with a notebook and says, “Okay I know you said you don’t want me to even think about proposing until after you’ve graduated, but I’d really like to start thinking about the house we’re going to buy, so I can set aside some of my bonus for the downpayment”. And Bitty gets halfway through an internal ‘this boy’ when Jack keeps going, frowning down at his notebook. “It really depends on how many kids we want, I guess. For how much space we need.” 

And Jack’s sitting there with his serious face on, thinking about how they definitely have to make sure the backyard has enough room for a homemade rink, totally unaware that he has just murdered his boyfriend. 

details about s13 from Seat42F interviews

How is Sam handling all the deaths at the end of last season? (to Jared)

‘It’s a funny role reversal. Where Sam is usually the one who wants to talk it out or vocalise it - I think because Sam is so overwhelmed with Jack and what Jack might mean, cause Sam thinks that Dean is kinda resigned on Jack. That ‘Jack’s evil, Jack’s gonna’ be evil, it’s only a matter of time before I have to put a bullet in him’, whereas Sam sees a lot of himself in Jack. Because Sam was meant to do evil things as well. He had demon blood in him. Sam might wonder a little bit if that’s the way that Dean thinks about him still.

Sam hasn’t really dealt with Mom, Cas, Crowley, Rowena. Sam is like ‘we gotta’ figure out what we’re gonna’ do with Jack’ and Dean’s like ‘no we don’t, we gotta’ figure out Mom, Cas, etc’ and he’s pushing his feelings down a little bit’.’


Sounds like Sam is he optimist this season. (to Jared)

‘He’s hiding some things in his optimism but he’s also not dealing with some things he needs to deal with.’


Where do we catch up with the brothers in Season 13? (to Jensen)

‘Literally where we left off, with Cas at Dean’s feet. Mom is gone, Crowley killed himself, Cas is now lying dead, Kelly’s gone. There’s too much for Dean to process at the moment it picks up, so he does what he knows how to do best and neutralises it all. He’s just going to do what he knows and hit something hard. Sam is going to talk sense into him.’


Misha talking about Cas in Season 13

‘The most relevant aspect of Cas’ death is how the boys process Cas’ death. Ultimately as the season plays out, Cas’ death is going to be less important to him, because he was just dead, but Sam and Dean go through the whole grieving process and have to process the loss of their friend.

When Cas comes back, we find him in a realm that has been talked about on the show but never seen. He finds himself alone in this realm apart from a companion who is another powerful being.’


Other Points:

  • Jensen is not directing so that he can spend time with his kids.
  • Scoody-Doo episode is live action at the beginning to get them into that world, but the majority of the episode is animated.

sources: (x) (x) (x)


“…and I handed [Roddenberry] my resignation that I’d written out. And he took it, and he just, and I finally laid it on the desk and he looked at it and he said ‘Take the weekend, Nichelle’, 'cause that’s how I know it was either Thursday or Friday, and he says 'and think about it. And if you feel the same way the beginning of next week, if you still feel that way, think about this. It’s more than you think it is. Just think about it, and if you still want to go on by Monday morning, then… go with my blessings.’ And he took the resignation, and he stuck it in his desk drawer. And I said 'Thanks Gene.’ and I skipped out of there, that went better than I thought. And as fate would have it, I’ve always used this word because I believe in fate, I believe it was fated, I was to be a celebrity guest at some fundraising thing in Beverly Hills…And so I went to do this on that Saturday night, and I had just been taken to the deus and been sat down when the organizer came over and said, 'Miss Nichols, …listen, there’s someone here who said he is your biggest fan, …and he’s desperate to meet you… really want’s to meet you.’ And I said, 'Oh, thank you’… And I stand up and I turn and I’m thinking, 'It’s a Star Trek fan. He said a Star Trek fan. I’m looking for a young man who’s a Star Trek fan.’ I turn, and instead of a fan, there’s this face the world knows with this beautiful smile on it. And I remember thinking, 'Whoever that fan is, is gonna have to wait because Dr. King, Dr. Martin Luther King, my leader, is walking toward me, at not ten feet away, with a beautiful smile on his face.’ And then, this man says, 'Yes, Miss Nichols, I am that fan, I am your best fan, your greatest fan. And my family are your greatest fans. As a matter of fact, this is the only show on television that my wife Coretta and I will allow our little children to watch, to stay up and watch because it’s on past their bedtime.’ And I said, {mouths words}, and that was all I was able to say, my mouth just opened and closed. He said, 'We admire you greatly, you know.’ And he said some more things and 'the manner in which you’ve created this role has dignity’ and so forth… I said, 'Dr. King, thank you so much.’ And then I got the courage to say, 'and I really am going to miss my co-stars.’ And he said, 'What do you mean?’ Dead serious. 'What are you talking about?’ I said, 'Well, I’ve had an off-’ …going to say 'have an offer to star in’. I never got that far… He said, 'You cannot. You cannot.’ And I felt like that little boy Willis, 'Whatcha talkin’ 'bout, Willis?’, but you know I didn’t say that, but I was taken aback. And I didn’t say anything, I just looked at him. He said, 'Don’t you understand what this man has achieved?’ …and I thought deja vu all over again. I just looked at him. He said, 'For the first time on television we will be seen as we should be seen, every day. As intelligent, quality, beautiful, people who can sing, dance, …but who can go into space, who can be lawyers, who can be teachers, who can be prof- who are in this day, and yet you don’t see it on television? Until now.’ And he went on, so many of the things, perhaps some of the things he said, but I could say nothing, I just stood there, realizing every word that he was saying was the truth. And he said, 'If you leave, Nichelle, Gene Roddenberry has opened a door for the world to see us, if you leave, that door can be closed because you see, your role is not a black role, and it’s not a female role. He can fill it with anything including an alien.’ And at that moment, the world tilted for me, and I knew then I didn’t want to know it, 'cause I was going to go through some more turmoil for the rest of the week, but I knew that I was something else, that the world was not the same. And that’s all I could think of as Dr. King, everything that he had said, 'the world sees us for the first time as we should be seen.’ And I remember being angry come Sunday or whatever, 'Why me? Why should I have to-?’ Whatever happened, Monday morning I went to Gene, and I’m not sure to this day if I knew what I was going to say. He’s sitting behind that same danged desk, and he had whoever he was talking to had to leave 'cause I wasn’t there first, and I said, 'Gene, …if you still want me to stay, I’ll stay. I have to.’ And he opened his drawer, and he looked up at me and said, 'God bless Dr. Martin Luther King, somebody knows where I’m coming from.’ And he took out my resignation, which was torn into a hundred pieces, and handed me the pile, and we just stood there looking at each other, and I finally said, 'Thank you, Gene.’ And he said, 'Thank you, Nichelle.’ and my life’s never been the same since, and I’ve never looked back, I’ve never regretted it because I understood the universe had somehow, that universal mind had somehow put me there. And we have choices, are we going to walk down this road, or are we going to walk down the other? And it was the right road for me.”

-Nichelle Nichols, Archive of American Television

✧ — Phantom of the Opera Prompts.

❛ My power over you grows stronger yet. ❜
❛ Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your mind. ❜
❛ Your part is silent, little toad! ❜
❛ Perhaps it is you who are the toad… ❜
❛ Flattering child, you shall know me, see why in shadow I hide! ❜
❛ Seal my fate tonight. ❜
❛ I hate to have to cut the fun short, but the joke’s wearing thin. ❜
❛ Let the audience in. ❜
❛ God, give me courage to show you you are not alone! ❜
❛ Pitiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known? ❜
❛ I heard as I’d never heard before. ❜
❛ What you heard was a dream and nothing more. ❜
❛ Those pleading eyes, that both threaten and adore… ❜
❛ That voice which calls to me and speaks my name. ❜  
❛ And do I dream again? ❜
❛ You have come here, in pursuit of your deepest urge. ❜
❛ I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge. ❜
❛ In your mind you’ve already sucummed to me. ❜  
❛ Now you are here with me. No second thoughts. ❜
❛ Past the point of no return. ❜
❛ What raging fire shall flood the soul? ❜
❛ What rich desires unlock its door? ❜  
❛ What sweet seductions lie before us? ❜
❛ Those who have seen your face draw back in fear. ❜
❛ Did you think that I had left you for good? ❜
❛ Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair! ❜
❛ You’ve past the point of no return. ❜
❛ You try my patience make your choice. ❜
❛ I gave you my mind blindly. ❜
❛ Wandering child, so lost, so helpless, yearning for my guidance. ❜
❛ Have you forgotten your Angel? ❜
❛ Wildly my mind beats against you… ❜
❛ Think of me, think of me waking, silent and resigne. ❜
❛ Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind. ❜
❛ Can I ever forget that sight? ❜
❛ Can I ever escape from that face? ❜
❛ Past the point of no return - no going back now. ❜
❛ When will the flames, at last, consume us? ❜
❛ When will the blood begin to race? ❜
❛ I remember… there was mist. ❜
❛ Who was that shape in the shadows? ❜
❛ Whose is that face in the mask? ❜
❛ Damn you! You little prying Pandora! You little demon! ❜
❛ Is this what you wanted to see? Curse you! ❜
❛ Now you cannot ever be free! ❜
❛ Come. We must return. ❜
❛ Those two fools who run my theater will be missing you. ❜
❛ No kind word from anyone! No compassion anywhere! ❜
❛ Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime. ❜
❛ Lead me, save me from my solitude. ❜
❛ Say you’ll want me with you here beside you. ❜
❛ Anywhere you go, let me go too. ❜
❛ Can you even dare to look or bear to think of me? ❜
❛ Have you no pity? ❜
❛ Your lover makes a passionate plea. ❜
❛ Let your mind start a journey to a strange new world! ❜
❛ Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before! ❜
❛ Only then can you belong to me… ❜  
❛ You alone can make my song take flight. ❜
❛ It’s over now, the music of the night. ❜
❛ Twisted every way, what answer can I give? ❜
❛ Say you love him/her, and my life is over! ❜
❛ Now, let it be war upon you both! ❜
❛ See you later, because I’m going now. ❜
❛ This haunted face holds no horror for me now. ❜
❛ It’s in your soul that the true distortion lies. ❜
❛ For the past three years, these things do happen! ❜
❛ And did you stop them from happening? No! ❜
❛ Why have you brought me here? ❜
❛ We can’t go back there. ❜
❛ I can’t escape from him/her/them… ❜
❛ Raise up your hand to the level of your eyes! ❜
❛ Refuse me, and you send your lover to his death! ❜
❛ Go now, don’t let them find you. ❜
❛ I fought so hard to free you! ❜  
❛ Say you love me. ❜
❛ Your chains are still mine! You belong to me! ❜
❛ Wait! I think my dear, we have a guest. ❜
❛ I had rather hoped that you would come. ❜
❛ Free him/her! Do what you like only free him/her! ❜
❛ Does that mean nothing I love him/her! Show some compassion! ❜
❛ The world showed no compassion to me! ❜
❛ Did you think that I would harm him/her? ❜
❛ Too late for prayers and useless pity! ❜
❛ You little demon - is this what you wanted to see? ❜
❛ Farewell, my fallen idol and false friend. ❜
❛ Look around, there’s another mask behind you! ❜
❛ Please promise me that sometimes, you will think… of me! ❜
❛ Where in the world have you been hiding? ❜
❛ I only wish I knew your secret. ❜
❛ Who is your great tutor? ❜
❛ Why you spray on my chin all the time, huh? ❜
❛ The final threshold! ❜
❛ They say that this youth has set my lady’s heart aflame! ❜
❛ Go away, for the trap is set and waits for its prey! ❜
❛ There is no phantom of the opera. ❜
❛ Look, your future bride! Just think of it! ❜
❛ Please don’t, they’ll see. ❜
❛ But why is it secret? What have we to hide? ❜
❛ It’s an engagement, not a crime! ❜

for @portentous-offerings who is my sick buddy today. Feel better my friend ^_^ 

“She’s never going to love me.”

It was so quiet she almost missed it.

“What did you say Kitty?” she asked, her face still pressed into his back from where they were cuddling in her bed.

“Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he said, rolling over and giving her a cheeky smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Are… are you talking about Ladybug?” she asked softly, feeling the knot of guilt that had steadily been building over the last few months of this strange friendship they had fallen into.

He didn’t bring up her alter ego very often. The subject of romance in general always seeming to carry some sort of bizarre taboo whenever he stopped by for his increasingly frequent visits. Not that Marinette had minded. She had Alya to cry to about her lack-luster love life after all, and given how unwaveringly supportive he was about all of her other problems, it seemed silly to hold it against him that he was uncomfortable talking to a girl about crushes and the like.

His eyes flashed guiltily and he rolled back over, staring out into the darkness of the room.

“Really it’s nothing,” he said again, but he couldn’t quite mask the defeated tone that colored his words.

It was a sound she was all too used to. The same defeated cadence that had echoed from her own lips after her disastrous attempt at confessing to Adrien 5 months and 27 days earlier that no amount of Rom-coms or Alya suggested poster-burning had been able to cure.

“Chat, it isn’t nothing,” she said, sitting up and gently trying to pull him back around. He didn’t budge, still keeping his gaze obstinately fixed at something that she couldn’t see. “If it matters to you… it isn’t nothing. Not to me.”

“It’s not appropriate,” he said softly, “and it’s not fair to you.”

“Shouldn’t I get to be the judge of that?”

“It would be selfish-“

“So be selfish!” she said with a slightly forced laugh. “Trust me, you have a long way to go before you catch up to my level of selfish so I am hardly one to judge.” She teased her fingers through his hair, letting her nails scratch delicately against his scalp and felt him relax in spite of himself.

“Yeah right,” he scoffed lightly, “your strange phone kleptomania aside, you’re a pretty stand-up person.”

“Hey, I will have you know I have been working very hard to reform my phone-napping ways,” she teased, hoping to draw out a real smile from him.

“You stole Alya’s phone just last week!”

“That was a special circumstance. I told you so,” she pouted. “Besides, Adrien doesn’t deserve to be taunted like that no matter what Alya might say about it,” she added softly.  

She felt Chat stiffen slightly, his cat ear twitching at her words, and she was once again suspicious that he knew all about her romantic trouble regardless of their lack of conversation on the subject. She flushed at the thought.

“You are one of the most selfless people I know,” he said, reaching up to grasp her hand in his own and give it a brief reassuring squeeze.

The guilt Marinette was feeling was almost overpowering as the thought of the secrets she was keeping from him weighed on her like a stone. He had never questioned how they had fallen into such an easy friendship, and she had become too attached to having him as a part of her life- her normal everyday life- to be willing to admit the one-sidedness of it all. Here she was getting mopey over someone she had sworn she was done chasing after in front of a guy whose heart she routinely seemed to trample into the dust. Talk about selfish.  

“Please just tell me,” she whispered, her fingers resuming their seductive strokes that she knew full well would reduce him to a compliant puddle in her lap.

He was silent for a few more moments before finally letting out a small defeated sigh.

“I was just thinking about everything and I guess I just…” he hesitated. “She’ll never love me. I know that. I think on some level I always suspected as much.”

His voice wasn’t bitter or angry, and that calm resignation shattered her own heart into a million pieces more than the actual words he was saying.

“I think,” he continued, “I think I will be ok with it. She loves someone else. She doesn’t really say much about it, maybe to preserve our identities or maybe because she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, but every once in a while she lets something slip and it’s not that hard to put the pieces together. I always thought it was so cheesy in the movies when people would say things like I just want her to be happy, but I think I get it now. She’s incredible and I am always going to love her, but she doesn’t need me to make her happy.”

Marinette could feel the tears pooling behind her eyes as the words poured out of him in his soft, even tone. Her fingers were frozen, buried in his lush golden hair, her breaths turning shallow and frantic as the words reverberated through her like an electric current.

She stared down at the boy beside her. Her precious, irreplaceable kitten, who loved her so fiercely and believed in her so much. Who was willing to call her out for her faults and yet somehow still believed her capable of rising above them.

“She’s smart,” Chat continued, his voice seeming to echo in the near silence of the night, “and I know that whoever she does choose is going to be someone who can make her happy. Somebody good and funny and able to keep up with her when she is at her best and keep her grounded when she’s at her worst. So I think I can be ok with that.”

She tried to imagine what her future would be with some potential lover. Her heart lurched slightly at the thought of Adrien, her own love that was apparently not to be. She brushed that thought aside and instead tried to picture a world where she was curled up beside some new face, running her fingers through hair that wasn’t blonde.

She had to choke back a sob.

The slight twinge of pain she had felt at the momentary reminder that she and Adrien would never be more than friends was nothing to the soul rendering terror she felt at the sudden realization that finding a new love would inevitably mean losing Chat.

They would still be friends. Of course, it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be like this. He would never impose like that. Not her Chat. Her partner who was good, and funny, and who had seen her at her best and her worst, who knew her better than anyone, and who still had never made her feel anything less than precious. Her dearest friend who just the momentary thought of a life without him made her feel like she was dying.

Chat let out a small self-deprecating laugh and Marinette wondered how she had ever been so blind.

“So yeah,” he said finally twisting back around to look up at her, “I think I’ll be ok. Even if she doesn’t love me.”

She gazed down at him, his brilliant green eyes glowing in the near darkness of the night, a tired smile on his face that she longed to see transformed into his usual infectious grin, as the truth hit her like a bolt of lightning.

“I do,” she said breathlessly, before leaning down to capture his lips in a long overdue kiss.

I remember when I was 12 “I Kissed a Girl” came out. It was one of the biggest songs of the year and it left me so utterly confused. Was it okay if I wanted to kiss a girl? Would people know that I might to kiss girls if I sang it? Was wanting to kiss a girl about sex?

The general outrage from some parents, including my own, about the lyrics of the song and the video terrified me even more. It made something that was already confusing and scary for me feel even more sinister and wrong. I grew up hearing the word gay being thrown around as an insult. I knew that some guys like guys and some girls liked girls, but barely knew what “that’s so gay” was actually supposed to mean except that it was an insult and the idea of homosexuality was taboo. I was scared, alone, and resigned to ignore my feelings.

I remember so many of my friends changing the lyrics to “I Kissed a Boy” and it made me feel even more confused. They talked about kissing boys and holding hands and I realized that while I didn’t want to do those things with boys, I wanted to do them with girls. But kissing girls was supposed to mean having sex with girls. And at 12, I wasn’t interested or ready to think about that. I just wanted to hold hands and kiss someone who liked me too like my friends. Liking girls seemed like this inherently sexual thing.

One of the things that bugged me when “In a Heartbeat”, was announced was the response that some individuals had that the characters were too young. As if 12 year olds having their first crush was inherently sexual as long as it wasn’t heterosexual. It was something that plagued me for years, the idea that liking someone of the same gender or not of the “opposite” gender was always supposed to be exclusively sexual and couldn’t be romantic or involve feeling no matter what age you were. Those feelings would never be anything but
al deviancy whether you were a kid or an adult. That romantic and platonic relationships for people who were gay would always be exclusively sexual in some way.

The response of the filmmakers to immediately shoot down those critics and the finished short film gave me something I’d been missing as a scared kid. “In a Heartbeat” captured both the innocence of a first crush and the fear not being accepted by others because it was “wrong”. It was simple in the same way it was complicated. It wasn’t just about a middle school crush. It was about normalizing and not sexualizing being gay. That finding that you might not be straight or that you have feelings for someone of the same gender isn’t inherently sexual. Why should kids having crushes or those feeling be sexualized that way because it’s not heterosexual? Having your first crush and discovering having romantic feelings for someone is scary. And it’s scarier realizing that there are people who think it’s wrong or internalizing the idea of it being wrong, of you being wrong. And it’s terrifying. But there isn’t anything wrong. It’s not any more sexual. It’s normal. And there’s hope that people will accept you and your feeling.

This is just a bunch or rambling but I feel very strongly about this short film and it means so much to me now as an adult.

anonymous asked:

what's happening in korea?

so much stuff dude. so..much…there’s been lots of stuff happening for the past few weeks so honestly im overwhelmed by all the info also im gonna swear a bit cuz im pissed

im not sure i can tell you the whole thing without being inaccurate but basically our shitty useless president was nothing but a marionette and the people ‘controlling’ them used up a mass amount of money that was meant for us and the people who actually need help in this good for nothing country

and a lot of the politic systems are significantly rotten so all the money we payed for things like national pension have no meaning to us?? because the fuckers used everything up for their own good that’s why

so many citizens work real hard to earn money and everyone found out it practically went to no good and we’re never going to get any benefits from it even though its our money

this. this happened yesterday. more than 1 million people came to protest this day. a lot of people are protesting(non-violently) but the police are suppressing us with violence(not all, but people on twitter say that they started using violent methods after the crowd started clearing up a bit) and the president obviously has no conscience b/c they dont seem to think about resigning hohoho

more and more corruption is getting exposed and the public is getting more and more furious

many people in korea kill themselves because its hard living in poverty in korea, and the fact that maybe all these people didnt have to if some people had just done their fucking jobs is a major piss off

If you want to learn more specific stuff i suggest you google ‘choi soon sil’ cause they’re a huge reason for this current situation (or maybe ‘korea protest’? probably)

Hello everyone! Something a little different here today!

I wanted to make a sort of chart for the canon human soul traits, their negative attributes/mirrors, and opposites.

So what’s the difference between a Negative Attribute/Mirror to the Opposite trait?

Negative Traits aren’t opposites of the soul trait, but are negative reflections of the trait. For example, JUSTICE’s negative mirror is RETRIBUTION, because RETRIBUTION is taking things into your own hands and punishing others based upon your own judgement which doesn’t always mean you’re in the right to do so. In fact, RETRIBUTION is often associated with anger and revenge rather than fair JUSTICE.

The rest of this post is just going to be me rambling about the idea, so I do apologize for that.

BRAVERY

  • Negative - Heedlessness. Heedlessness is when you jump into a situation without thinking it through. It’s also a synonym for recklessness.
  • Opposite - Cowardice. Of course, the opposite of being brave is cowering in fear. I do want to make a point that being afraid is not the same as being a coward. Cowardice is running away when you’re scared, Bravery is standing your ground when you’re scared.

JUSTICE

  • Negative - Retribution. As I said before, Retribution is when you punish someone more so out of revenge than fairness.
  • Opposite - Corruption. When you yourself are committing the malicious act, the crime, the wrong thing. You are more morally black than white.

PERSEVERANCE

  • Negative - Resignation. If Perseverance is supposed to be the will power and strength to endure harsh times and trials, then Resignation is the acceptance of something undesirable but inevitable.Not surrendering, but not actively fighting back. You’re in a sort of standstill.
  • Opposite - Capitulation. The act of surrendering or ceasing to resist an opponent or demand. You don’t have the willpower or strength to endure the harsher trials, and you do what’s easier–which means to surrender to your opposing force and obey it/them.

PATIENCE

  • Negative - Inertia. Patience means to actively tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting upset, but Inertia means to have a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged. Lethargic, almost like sloth.
  • Opposite - Impatience. A bit of a boring obvious one, and pretty self explanatory. You can’t tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting upset.

INTEGRITY

  • Negative - Sanctimonious. Integrity is about sticking to your morals, but Sanctimonious means to put your morals above others and believe your morals and self are better than every one elses. A sort of Self-righteousness.
  • Opposite - Hypocrisy. Holding someone to one standard then someone else or yourself to another. You don’t stick to the same consistent morality, you just hop around and say whatever suits you in the moment.

KINDNESS

  • Negative - Bleeding Heart. Sadly, this is the only soul trait that I couldn’t find a single word for, but there’s a danger in being too kind. Having a Bleeding Heart means that you are dangerously soft-hearted, to the point where you are kind towards those whom do not deserve it, even if they hurt you time and time again, or you give kindness to someone who takes advantage of it, intentionally or not.
  • Opposite - Cruelty. Another sort of obvious opposite. Rather than wanting to help others, you take satisfaction in hurting others. Simple as that.

DETERMINATION

  • Negative - OBSESSION. - Think about how there’s that one game where the boss you’re stuck on is only just a little bit too strong for you to beat. Or that one class in school that you have a 99% in. That one rival of yours whom is just a little  bit better than you. Your DETERMINATION to best these situations can easily become OBSESSION, the feeling of abandoning everything else for the sake of accomplishing your goal… even to the point of abandoning your morals just to satisfy yourself.
  • Opposite - IRRESOLUTION. Hesitant, uncertain. The feeling of being stuck in one place, and unable to continue forward. if DETERMINATION is the act of actively chasing your goals, then IRRESOLUTION is the moment when you can’t, or don’t.

So, what happens when a human displays a NEGATIVE of their soul trait?

Well… nothing. They’re not cancelling out their soul trait, but rather, their state of mind has changed, for the worse. A SOUL’S power isn’t affected by the Negative mirror, and sometimes it can even be dangerously enhanced by it.

When a human displays the OPPOSITE trait of their soul trait, however, their soul weakens. It dims. It loses the ability to preform the powers it was able to beforehand. The more of this negative trait you display the weaker your soul gets.

I’m not sure what else to add, but feel free to tell me what you think! I had fun with this, so I hope everyone else does too!

2

So I was rewatching YOI again and then I got to think…

In Episode 7 when Yuuri cried:

  • He’s always been an anxious fellow; he gets extremely nervous before important events
  • Now his anxiety and nervousness doubled because he thinks that his mistakes will reflect badly on Viktor, too, and of course he of all people doesn’t want the living legend to look bad in front of everyone - especially on Viktor’s debut as a coach
  • He’s trying his best to man up and hold himself together
  • But then Viktor said “i will resign as your coach if you fail” like testing him, so Yuuri gets extremely upset because it feels like Viktor has so little trust in him
  • Thus he reaches his limit and breaks down in tears

And then in Episode 12 when Viktor cries, at first I was like “well of course he cried, who wouldn’t be sad suddenly listening to yuuri saying something like that?”

But when I tried to put myself in his shoes:

  • He has been fascinated by Yuuri since the banquet last year; he was lonely and at the brink of losing inspiration, but then Yuuri came and brought colors to his life
  • His relationship with Yuuri has made him extremely happy; Yuuri taught him “life and love”, they have just recently exchanged engagement rings
  • They have been practicing for the Stay Close to Me Duet; that night Viktor must be looking forward to tomorrow’s exhibition when he could finally show their love to the whole world while skating to this program - the program that represents his desperate plea for love which was answered by Yuuri
  • But suddenly Yuuri said he would retire after this final, making that Duet he looked forward to the last time they skated together

WHO THE FUCK WOULDN’T CRY NOW THIS SCENE JUST GOT TWICE AS SAD

Coffee - Tom Holland Imagine

Friends! I’m sorry being MIA, midterms suck.

This is a short piece, I’m sorry. I owe you guys.

This is written in honor of me flying home (and casually being in the same city as Haz and Tom, so, ha!)

Send questions, comments, requests! x


Originally posted by gounderoos

“Hey, Tom, can you do me the biggest favor known to man-kind?” you asked softly.

Tom sighed softly and pulled the eye mask off slowly. “What can I do for you darling?”

You felt bad for having made him upset, “Nevermind, it’s okay. You can go back to sleep…”

You bit your lip and opened the book your reading up again. You saw Tom shuffle a bit before he finally scooted over so he could lean his head on your arm.

“What do you need, Y/N?” He asked softly. He kissed your arm lightly and nuzzled it afterwards.

You smiled and leaned your head on his. “Can you pretty please go get me a coffee from the Starbucks on the other side of the airport?”

Tom laughed and groaned. “What’s in it for me?”

“I could buy you a movie on the plane!”

He sat up and laughed harder, “I can buy 10 of those!”

“Okay but,” you continued, “it’d be coming from me.”

“And that makes it different somehow?” he laughed and begin stretching.

“I’ll make Harrison confess he thinks you’re the superior being…”

A small smile spread on his mouth and you mimicked the motion.

“Only if,” he began, “you get him to say he thinks I’m fucking awesome, too.”

“Done!” you put your hand out and Tom shook it with vigor.

“Awesome, I’ll be right back.” Tom got up, with a jogging start and went off towards the other side of the airport.

You quickly pulled out your phone and dialed Haz’s number. You weren’t surprised when he answered on the 3 ring.

“Hello, how may I be of service?” He answered formally.

“I need you to do something for me, buddy,” you joked.

“If it’s gross, I’m not doing it.”

“I need you to call Tom and tell him you think he’s the superior being and that you think he’s fucking awesome?”

He laughed, “No!”

“Why not Harrison?!”

“Cause it’s not true!” he affronted. “What are you getting out of it, anyways?”

“Coffee.” You said without hesitation.

“Well, maybe the coffee can tell him that instead,” he joked.

You sighed, resigned. “Fine, then. If you don’t want to help your friend in need.”

You heard Haz sigh and figured you had it all set. You smiled when you heard him begin speaking again.

“Fine, I’ll do it right now.”

“Fantastic! Thank you friend!”

“Alright,” he hung up and you sat up a bit straighter when you realized you were set to get your coffee soon.


“One coffee for the human being with a problem.” Tom handed the cup to you and you sipped it immediately. You sighed happily and smiled as Tom sat down next to you, his own coffee in hand.

“Remind me never to fly red-eye again,” he groaned.

You giggled and sipped the coffee once more. “Did Haz call you, then?”

“Yup.”

“And?” you smiled, expecting some sassy remark.

“He did it,” he said and he began to fiddle with the lid on the cup.

“You sound disappointed…”

“Am I whipped?” He asked you, but he didn’t meet your eye.

“I’m sorry?” you asked.

“Am I whipped?” he asked again. “Harrison said I was whipped but I just want to see if anyone else agrees.”

“Would being whipped be a bad thing?” You asked cautiously. Even though you had no issue with him being in love with you, you still weren’t sure whether Tom even felt that way about you.

“I don’t think so…” he finally looked up at you. “Would that be a bad thing?”

His question caught you off-guard and you were sure your expression conveyed the emotion. “No…” you answered seriously.

“It wouldn’t?” he asked, his eyes big and round.

“Of course not,” you said. “Because I think I’m whipped, too.” You sipped your coffee, “If that’s helps at all.”

“It definitely does,” he said as a grin spread over his face.

You smiled too, but tried to hide it in your coffee. You continued to smile as you felt Tom’s fingers intertwine with yours.

“I love you,” he whispered into your ear. You smiled.

“I love you,” you said out loud.

Conditioned (Part 3)

(Tae questions whether his desire for you is futile but continues to let his lust drive all his decisions.)

Warning:  Around 9000 words.  Lots and lots of dirty stuff happens. Female dom, male sub. Oral.  Dry humping.  Non-traditional sense of sexual morality.  


 “I should have known you had an ulterior motive for coming here.  This place was too far away from home to come for lunch.”  Tae eyed Jin from across the table.  Jin had stopped by his apartment earlier, asking Taehyung to go eat at a new restaurant across the street from the mall.  Tae had been reluctant to go, preferring to spend his day off from work at home playing video games and ordering delivery instead of venturing out into the rain to go across town to eat.  However, Jin was insistent, saying he had a coupon that expired today and offered to pay for everything.

Now that their meal was over, the truth was coming out.  Jin had just asked the waiter to bring another order of food, wrapped to go.  “There’s no ulterior motive.  I just thought that since we were eating so close to Youngsook’s store, I’d get her some food too.  It’s one of her favorite places to eat.”

“If you wanted to see your girlfriend, you didn’t need to bring me along.  Why didn’t you just bring her here on her lunch break?” Tae knew there had to be more to this story.

“Saturdays are their busiest day, so she never leaves to get a proper meal.  She usually just gets a coffee and some bread from the bakery next door.  I’ll look like hero coming in with an honest-to-god meal from her favorite restaurant.” Jin fidgeted in his seat while looking at Tae.  “Plus, I need you there with me when I deliver the meal. She won’t throw the food at my head or yell at me if you are there.”

Tae crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, raising his eyebrows in a silent question towards Jin.

Keep reading

Honestly as hard as that interview was to read… it makes me so gosh darn proud of Liam, Louis and Niall. I was already proud, but after reading this, combined with the little tidbit Niall shared a couple weeks back about having to play songs and essentially pitch himself to the label before they signed him, I think we all have a lot clearer of an understanding of just how hazy their futures were when the hiatus was announced. And of how terrifying that must have been. But, here they are. Working 100 times harder than they probably ever did in 1D to do right by themselves and right by their fans and make names for themselves and put out music that’s true to who they are as artists, against all the odds, and despite the majority’s resignation that H and Z were the only ones who would make it. That takes guts. And I’m really, really fucking proud of them.

The Tenth Floor pt14

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader & Taehyung x Reader

Min Yoongi had gone through 34 secretaries in the past 24 months, and each one of them left in tears. This fact alone should have warned you against taking the job, but the pay was too good to pass up. Surely you could put up with a billionaires temper-tantrums, right?

Genre: Fluff, humor, probably some angst

Warnings: Strong language, smut talked about/implied, some dark themes

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15


“Jesus christ, what did you do?” Taehyung’s question was not welcomed.

“Me?” Yoongi scoffed, shooting a glare in Taehyung’s direction. “What did I do?” You had left shortly after Yoongi agreeing to pay you time and a half for Saturday night–which, looking back, Taehyung should have been forced to pay. It was his idea for you to come along in the first place. But somehow, it was Yoongi that you seemed the most vengeful towards for the moment, and he suspected arguing with you over the matter wouldn’t go over well. “You’re the one who caused this whole mess.”

Your threats didn’t hold quite as much weight as you probably thought they did. The company had been sued before, and what few people realized was that as long as the company agreed to pay whatever amount the court deemed appropriate without complaint, cases were rarely made into a big deal. However, it would shake the board’s faith in Yoongi drastically, which could be hard to repair if Taehyung decided to take the opportunity to meddle. You going to the press was a slightly bigger concern for the company, because you were right about the stocks falling. Yoongi was willing to bet that you wouldn’t go that far though–at least not yet.

Yoongi’s biggest concern at the moment was what the hell had just happened, and why. He knew there was something going on with you, and that you were mad at him, but he wasn’t prepared for this.

“You told her we were step brothers.” Taehyung accused. “Please, tell me how the fuck that was supposed to help your situation with her?”

“I thought you told her.” He said flatly.

Keep reading

The Man In The Moon is Trying to Scream

“Mommy, wake up.”

I glance first at him, then at the clock. I’m meant to be up for work in three hours, but my son is more important, so I resist groaning in frustration. “What is it, sweetie?”

“The man in the Moon is trying to scream.”

Nightmares again. “Honey, there’s no man in the Moon,” I assure him. “The Moon is just a big bright rock in space. It’s outside, not inside in your room. It can’t hurt you.”

“He’s trying to scream, mommy.” I know when my son is terrified. He keeps a straight face, but his voice gives him away. “I think he wants to eat me.”

I glance at the clock again, this time allowing myself a sigh. “Okay. Okay, sweetie.” I get out of bed, neck cramping, muscles heavy. “I’ll lay down with you, okay? There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

He nods and takes my hand.


Five minutes later, my son is snoring away in his bed. I stare up at the ceiling, unable to get comfortable. If I try to leave, I’ll just wake him back up, so I resign myself to three hours of charitable boredom and parental satisfaction.

I think I’m starting to doze off when I see it. At first I assume it’s the fuzz of early sleep creeping over my eyes. Moving my head doesn’t change it, though, nor does opening my eyes further.

Small lines trace their way across the ceiling, gathering in one spot until the paint looks cracked. When their converging paths knock glow-in-the-dark stars off and send them scattering, that’s when I realize I must be dreaming.

The lines thicken into glistening strands, wet veins in the night-light dim, plump with blood.

From the center of the slick clump something white emerges. First a tiny, greasy pimple. It expands until it’s maybe the size of a soccer ball, sleek and shiny and engorged, dangling down like a spider’s egg sac.

I’m frozen in place. I haven’t had night terrors in a long time, but I remember sleep paralysis. That must be what’s going on.

Damp droplets hit my face as it bursts open, and two bloodshot eyes emerge from the white clump. They’re too close together and off to one side. Uneven.

I can’t peel my eyes away as a mouth pops open. Thin strings of a thick liquid hang down from its knife-gash maw and a chalky rasp like wood on wet metal escapes.

Something grabs my arm and I almost shout. When I realize it’s my son, I’m not sure whether to feel better or worse.

“Mommy,” he whispers, his voice shaking. “I thought you said the Moon was supposed to be outside.”

There are a lot of indicators of just how healthy/happy a relationship is, but in my opinion, one of the most telling is the body language between a couple. This form of nonverbal communication, that includes facial expressions, body movements, eye contact, hand gestures, touch and space, speaks volumes about the state of any given relationship- how content the couple is, how well they communicate, how well they handle conflict and resolution…

Can you guess where this is going? 

Let’s compare two separate relationships from Avatar: The Last Airbender - one that displays unhealthy body language by both parties and tells of an unhappy pairing and one that displays healthy body language by both parties and shows potential for happy relationship. 

First up, Zuko and Mai, sharing an emotional conversation… or rather, attempting to share. (I’ll be including verbal communication here just for some context and reference of the body movements).

After supposedly being shut out of his father’s war meeting, Zuko is upset and spends the evening with Mai, who tries to console him: 

Mai: Zuko, it’s just a dumb meeting. Who cares?
Zuko: I don’t.

Disregarding her words for a moment, look at what his face is saying in the first image. He won’t look at her. He’s staring off into the distance with furrowed brow and a set jaw. He has literally built up a wall between himself and her. This shows that he has stopped listening entirely, he’s done emotionally and he’s already trying to plan an escape from the dialogue. 

But Mai doesn’t pick up on this cue, and she continues to throw out reasons why he shouldn’t be sad: 

Mai: Well, good. You shouldn’t. I mean, why would you even want to go? Just think about how things went at the last meeting you went to.
Zuko: [Sighs.] I know.
Mai: You know what will make you feel better? Ordering some servants around. I might be hungry for a whole tray of fruit tarts. And maybe a little palanquin ride around town. Double time. 

Ugh. So much ugh. Using a painful experience from someone’s past does at all help coax the “sad” out of them. In fact, the comment only seems to make things worse. 

The sigh, first of all, displays resignation. He doesn’t want to talk anymore, at least not with her and certainly not about the scar on his face when the conversation centers on a war meeting. He still refuses to look up, wearing a glazed expression, and Mai literally has to pull his face up to hers. 

Then she offers him his escape- distractions. 

But he hardly even reacts to that. This is perhaps the most dangerous sign: no sign at all. He’s showing disinterest. He’s disengaged from her and whatever she’s saying - and the issue they are really fighting about (his regret/resentment for himself & the Fire Nation) will likely never be resolved.

Oooh shocker… when they are shown together the next morning, Zuko’s emotional disconnect seems to be even worse. Again, we see the glazed expression, the refusal to look at her, and now, his entire body is pulled away from her. He’s probably still reeling from that comment about his last war meeting, Mai. Good one. 

And you might be sitting there, screaming at your screen, ‘Well, Zuko and Katara fight too! Doesn’t that make them unhealthy?” 

Funny you should ask, because I’m actually prepared to show you how well the couple communicates with each other, how they handle a fight, and beyond an angry situation, how they handle their emotions.

Ah… the Crystal Catacombs… The first moment of real interaction between Zuko and Katara. We start with Katara raving at Zuko about his inherent “evil-ness” just because of his parentage and his element. She also goes so far as to tell him that he’s the face of the enemy, directly tying his scar to her hatred.

Yes… Zuko did have his back to her during this conversation, which one may argue is a sign of disengagement, but I would argue that it’s not. Or, at the very least, his resulting interest in and apology at the mention of her mother shows a re-engagement.  

Zuko turns around to face her - his shoulders are relaxed, his face is calm, his stance is trusting. All these signals are reflected by Katara and they end up having an open, honest conversation despite only knowing each other for five minutes. 

More telling, is the end result of the relented emotions. After Zuko and Katara are free to open up - Zuko, about his scar and his journey, and Katara, about her mother - they come together. They are quiet. They are listening. They are trusting each other. 

In fact, Zuko closes his eyes in the face of his sworn enemy, a girl he knows can sit his ass down faster than he can say honor, and lets her touch him. And Katara reaches out to him, within seconds of using her spirit water on him, a boy she knows would likely stop at nothing to hurt her and her friends just to redeem himself. It’s beautiful. It’s pure. It shows something that could easily be a redemptive, whole-hearted, wholly-open relationship. But Brkye doesn’t think functional is funzies.

Originally posted by thearmada4231

Taking emotional situations a step further, let’s dig into how these pairings actually fight. For the first example, we have Mai and Zuko in the Boiling Rock. Mai is upset -some might she’s justified, but she’s mostly not- because Zuko left and informed her through a letter.

Well… the fact that he couldn’t face her only confirms my point that he is emotional closed off from her. If their relationship was a healthy, open one, Zuko would’ve had no issue informing Mai of his decision in person. Instead, he chooses a nonverbal form - a letter and a disappearance. 

Furthermore, Mai is literally looking down her nose at Zuko, her partner, her boyfriend, some she loves doesn’t hate, and sending the signal that he is inferior. She’s rolling her eyes, blowing off his answers, throwing things at him. Her signals actually say, “I’m not going to listen to what you have to say, because it’s worthless.”

He believes it too. He believes he is worthless in her eyes and nothing he says matters - just look at how he’s sitting. He’s hunched over, he’s silent, he’s completely shut down and disengaged again. 

And before you get in my inbox, blabbing about how any fighting could be seen as unhealthy and healthy couples don’t fight, (because Kataang never fought post-war and that ship was totally healthy right?) take a step back. 

Fighting has nothing to do with how healthy a relationship is. Fighting can actually be healthy and productive if it is handled, then resolved, correctly. 

A couple may, for instance, look enraged, but they also look emotionally engaged. (See first image) A couple may, for instance, be furious with each other, but their torsos are facing each other. (See second image) A couple may, for instance, see no resolution, but they are making eye contact. They are talking. They are trying. They are working through it. (See third image)

It shows a lot of respect to A) Face someone you know is livid and B) Turn around and give the person you are livid with the time of day. It takes an even greater amount of respect to trust that person on a life changing field trip, to trust that person with a side of you no one has really seen, and then offer that person forgiveness.

You know what shows a huge lack of respect? Finger pointing!!! which we see from Mai several times when arguing with Zuko. This gesture signifies the accusing partner’s conscious or subconscious attempt to threaten the other into submission. That, coupled with the clenched fists on both sides in the first image, and the look of contempt on Mai’s face in the second, only furthers my point that Maiko’s body language alone tells a story of a very unhealthy, unhappy relationship. 

But if you need more proof, what’s the end result of both scenarios? 

Well, following the first image, Zuko explodes on the beach in front of Mai and his other friends. While this outburst isn’t necessarily Mai’s fault, it goes to show that he doesn’t feel comfortable or safe being open with Mai. If he did, his internal debates would have arisen in a calmer setting between the two, long before Zuko was pushed to a breaking point by toxic drama that Bryke throws in for funzies.

After the second scene, Zuko is coronated, works to maintain peace while his nation is threatened, and Mai dumps him. And you might try to blame Zuko, to pin the fault on him and justify Mai’s behavior by saying “Oh well, Zuko was closed off and Zuko didn’t talk to her,” but why would he when his first attempt to be open and honest was met with “I just asked if you were cold. I didn’t ask for your whole life story.”

Right… becuase that’s conducive of a healthy, happy relationship

And this isn’t:

Double Booked

Originally posted by xopsychogirlxo

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Content/Warning: FLUFF

Words: 1667

A/N: So I know that I promised When We Were Young pt 2 today, but I’m sick so cut me some slack. Instead I’ll just give you this adorable Bucky fic, because who doesn’t love Bucky Barnes? Anyways, enjoy - and as always, prompts are open.


“They’ve been dancing around their feelings for months, Tony,” Natasha Romanoff said to the billionaire with a roll of her eyes. “How exactly do you expect to fix that?”

“On our next mission,” Tony said, as if it was obvious. “We have to go out of town, you know.”

 “Okay?” The redhead asked, raising an eyebrow. “Meaning what, exactly?”

“One word: roommates.” Tony grinned as if it was the best idea he had ever had.

“Tony, no, okay. Bucky is going to want to room with Steve, and Y/N is going to want to be with me, it isn’t going to work,” Natasha said with a sigh. “Honestly, how you ever became a billionaire with some of your ideas is beyond me.”

“First of all, rude. Second of all, no, Red, it won’t be a problem. You want to know why?” He didn’t give her a chance to respond. “Because we are not going.”

Keep reading

in which y/n doesn’t want to move in…

“No?” he repeated back to her. 

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?” he mimicked back with a hopeful look in his eyes. 

She groaned. “No. Yeah, no. You know what I’m saying.” She groaned again. “No. I don’t want to move in with you, Harry." 

His lips formed a pout. "Why not?" 

"Because I said so. Now will you please drop it?” She flopped onto the couch.

“I will not. I’m tired of asking you, and having this same conversation over and over again,” he said, sitting down next to her.

“Same." 

He stood back up, running his hands through his hair and down his face trying to maintain his composure. "We’ve been together for ages! You have half of your things at my place anyway! Just pack the rest of your crap up and move it over!" 

She rolled over and growled into her pillow before turning back over and sitting up, frustration running rampant through her veins. "What’s the point, Harry? You’re never there! You’re never in one place more than a a week, two at most. I might as well just stay here." 

He shook his head at her. "Okay, first of all, don’t make it seem like I neglect you because I don’t. You travel with me, too. And, second, that’s why I want you to move in with me. When I’m here, at home, I want you with me all the time. I’m tired of travelling back and forth and packing bags and deciding who’s to stay over. Just come stay with me. Please." 

She hadn’t been looking at him, but when she did chance a quick peek, she saw his eyes open and earnest and pleading and she almost gave in. The more stubborn part of her, though, resisted his pleas as anger flared up within her. "Listen, I said no. End of discussion. I’m not saying it again,” she snapped.

“Fine,” he snapped back and stormed out of her flat. 

Two days went by of complete radio silence between the two which was practically unheard of. Even if they didn’t have the chance to talk much, they’d always have some sort communication—a quick phone call before bed or on lunch breaks, declarations of love via text, little observations of people and things that happened during the day. And, it wasn’t for her lack of trying. She texted him and rang him, but she figured he was screening her messages. He was being ridiculous. 

On a whim, she decided to pop by his house. When he opened the door, he looked surprised to see her , however she was more surprised to see boxes stacked in his living room with her name on them. She looked to him for some sort of explanation, but by that point he’d already steeled his face again and stared back at her with his arms crossed. “What's– what’s going on?” Her heart was beating out her chest. 

He pursed his lips. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you. I haven’t decided yet." 

Her face twisted into a snarl. "Really? All of this because I won’t move in with you?" 

Instead of snapping back like she expected him to, he sighed in response, already silently resigned. "No. I’m just… done fighting tooth and nail every time I try to move this relationship forward.” He paused as if he was preparing himself for the next statement he was about to make. “I think that we should take a break." 

Her heart sank even more than it did when she first saw all the boxes. "You don’t mean that,” she forced out. 

“I do. I think you need some time to think about you and what you want for yourself and this relationship and get back to me when you figure it out because I’m done fighting with you, babe. I really am." 

"Harry…” she choked, feeling tears spring to her eyes. 

He was looking everywhere except for at her, and she knew it was hurting him too. “I’ll help take your things to your car,” he muttered, brushing past her and grabbing one of the three boxes sprawled across the carpet. 

Her throat closed up and her lungs constricted as she watched him walk away. She was still standing in the same position as he came back in and grabbed the second box. Not knowing what to do and realizing that he was serious about this break, she grabbed the final box and followed him out. He gently took the box she was holding, placed it in the trunk with the others, then turned to face her. He brought one hand to the side of her face and the other to her waist as she looked up at him with the most poignant expression he’d ever seen, brushed his thumb across her bottom lip a couple times before planting a feather-like kiss on her lips. “Call me." 

She gulped then nodded, not able to properly respond due to the tightness she was experiencing in her chest. He removed his grip from her body and opened the car door for her, shutting it tightly after she entered, then walked back into his house. It was then that she went into a full blown panic attack. She struggled to take vital oxygen into her lungs, her hands shook like paper being blown in the wind, and her heart was beating out of control. She laid her head against the steering wheel attempting to find purchase and calm her rapidly racing mind.

It wasn’t working.

All she could think about is how she didn’t want a break. She didn’t need to think about anything really because she knew she wanted Harry. Simple as that. Breaks were never just breaks. He was going to use their time apart to get over her, and she couldn’t allow that to happen. She stumbled out the car and ran back to his door, knocking furiously. He didn’t answer, so she slid down the back of the door and began sobbing into her hands.

Just as she was getting up, the door opened revealing a very confused Harry. She whipped her head around and the rest of her body followed as she tried to contain herself from running into his arms. "I’m sorry. I’ll move in with you. I’m sorry. Just please don’t do this.”

Harry sighed heavily, pulling her into his arms for a moment before pulling back. “Love, I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. I really think that this time apart will do us some good." 

She shook her head profusely. "I don’t need time, Harry. I just– can I– please?” she sniffled, pointing inside. 

He stepped aside and closed the door. “Why are you so sure that you want to move in now? What’s changed?”

“I don’t want to lose you, H. You just don’t understand how scared I am all the time. I’m trying I really am, but it’s hard for me. I’m not like you. You’ve accomplished so much, and I can barely adult. I’m so messed up, and I’ve been trying to fix myself. I just want to be good enough for you. I’ve always just been trying to be good enough for you. And, I know that it takes me a while sometimes and that I get really defensive, but I’m working on it. You make me a better person, and that’s all I can ask for. All I’ve ever wanted is to be someone who deserves you, so please just be patient with me." 

This time it was Harry who was shaking his head. He closed the distance that was between them, grasping her face in his hands. "I don’t know what I’ve gotta do to get it through your pretty little head that you’re good enough for me. Probably more than I deserve, if I’m being honest.” A few tears still drop down her face. “Baby… I just got lucky. I was literally just in the right place at the right time. I work hard, yeah. But, I still don’t know what I’m doing. You wanna know what I do when I’m feeling extra lost and confused, though?” She blinks at him. “I talk to you and my mum and my sister and Jeff and the boys and all the other people I have in my life. So, why do you think that you have to do this alone?" 

He presses a firm kiss to her mouth. "You don’t. You don’t, you don’t, you don’t,” he murmurs pressing kiss after kiss to her mouth. “Move in with me." 

It’s not even a question that needs to be answered anymore, but she nods her head nonetheless, wrapping her arms around his neck, while he continues erasing every inch of self doubt away with his lips.

A goodbye letter to my friends and followers.


Dear Everyone,

I am sad to say that I am resigning from the blog FatedFujoshis. As of today, the blog will no longer do scanlations and will be under new management. They will continue to pursue blcd videos since the girls want to continue/finish their projects. As for me, I am withdrawing from anything that has to do with the blog, meaning scans, videos, and overseeing the blog in action! I wanted to say a few thank you’s before I leave for good.

@sentimientoyaoi (Nikah), thank you for all your help. I don’t think we could have been able to put out great work like Katsura Komachi scans or others if it weren’t for them. They also introduced me to many players in the scanlation business, which open many doors for many things blog-related or friendship/contact wise. Yoru, I will miss your colored pages you did for us, you have amazing talent, always keep it up. (Nikah we’ll keep in touch :P)

@nijiniji-nikubou-scans, lol Nina, you are my lifesaver on so many levels lol. I think she oversaw all our projects, even including some blcd videos recently. Anytime I would hit rock bottom, you were there to help me getting the process done the way I wanted it. And thank you for letting me borrow your staff… I don’t think I abused you too much, Ash ;) ( But I won’t say goodbye to you guys, because we will remain friends on Facebook :P)

To @crappy-bl-scanlations Nagareboshi, my moon lighter translator, who will keep on helping my girls, I think I annoyed you soooo many times with Japanese proofing everything so we could put our best work forward. Thank you so much for putting up with my annoying million texts a day. Even though you made me redo a video 5 times and get mad, I knew it was for the best for the blog even if I was being snarky from being so analllll lol

To all the others, like @justpeachyicedtea The Anon, @fluffwords, @lustfulcat cat, Dhyzre, Fantaisy, (if I missed anyone else please don’t hate me ;P )  thank you for involving yourself with our group when we needed help on missing staff positions. I am overwhelmed with how everyone was ready to be hands on and help out with projects. Truly the yaoi community is very generous. So please don’t be hasty/nasty when projects are slow. All these groups take great pride in releasing awesome projects.

To my staff, thank you for helping grow the blog’s content, if it wasn’t for you guys, I don’t think we would’ve had so much content to share. Starting this blog with you guys was a lot of fun, I won’t miss the mentoring at lolol. Keep helping each other and keep going, the Yaoi community needs to hear more perverted moans lol! It was a pleasure to work with you all.

And as for the followers to, don’t be sad, more videos will be on there way, just without my editing! Love you all thank you for following me and the blog, it was a fun ride. -Katsumi xox