i think i just suffered a bit


I hope she dies right away. On second thought, I hope she suffers quite a bit before she dies. I just hope her pathetic screams can’t be heard from my room, because I was thinking about having a lie down, and I need peace and quiet. I was playing golf and I’m quite tired, the last thing I need is someone dying slowly and loudly.

THE LOBSTER (2015) dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

Just think about how Yakov had to suffer through Georgi’s theme last season basically being ‘my girlfriend dumped me and I’m very sad.’

And now this season Victor’s come back and brought his fiancé and Yakov is trying to encourage them to be serious about their careers right now and to maybe tone down the mushy newlyweds stuff when they’re on the ice just a bit.

But then they start discussing themes. And Victor is like ‘my theme is how much I love Yuuri❤❤❤❤❤’
'for fucks sake vitya what did i just say about the newlyweds shit’
And then Yuuri is like 'my theme is how much I love Victor❤❤❤❤❤’

Yakov needs a stiff drink to get through a season with these two.

Steven thinks that he only exists because Rose used him to escape. He thinks he’s only a product of her mistakes.

That must gnaw at his subconcious so much. This poor kid…. he never asked for any of this.



I mean…. again, this isn’t the real Rose, this is just Steven coming down from his anger and rationalizing with himself.

Unfortunately, how much she loved you doesn’t change one bit the things you suffered because of her.

This is just a really shitty situation all around.

It looks hella nice though.

Why the estrangement needs to be real

I have seen many theories which suggest that Sherlock and John are in cahoots, working against Mary and pretending to be estranged, or others that hint that Sherlock and John are already romantically involved. Both of these theories have crossed my mind, mainly because of the obfuscation of important johnlock scenes (such as deciding to track the memory stick or the six months in HLV). But in any case, I don’t think Moftiss would go that route because it would rob the audience of the chance to see them getting together and going through character development in order to reach this ‘’moment of revelation’’. Going through so much suffering, pain and suppression only to later find out that we just haven’t been privy to their romantic moments is frankly a bit like cheating. There are still some steps that they both have to go through as characters before becoming boyfriends:

  • Sherlock has now realized how much he loves John and that he can defeat his own fears and weaknesses if he lets himself trust John instead of pushing him away. It’s always the two of them. This was brilliantly depicted in TAB, however we also need to see it unravel in reality. Additionally, he needs to realize that John loves him for what he really is, not the cold, emotionless facade he puts on as an armour. Sherlock unfortunately still fears that John is intrigued solely by the mystery, adventure and cleverness he provides in his life. He must realize that he is gravely mistaken, which will in turn allow him to confess his feelings, be loved and also start loving himself.

  • John on the other hand is a few steps behind Sherlock. He also knows how much he loves Sherlock yet he keeps suppressing his feelings because of the shitty situation he has found himself trapped in. Whether he has a plan against Mary or not, he really struggles with feelings of guilt. We tend to forget that, but John feels miserable and EXTREMELY guilty for many events that he shouldn’t blame himself for: Sherlock’s fall, Sherlock relapsing in HLV, Sherlock being shot by Mary, marrying said psychopath instead of ‘’noticing’’ her lies, Sherlock shooting Magnussen for their sakes, Sherlock taking drugs on the tarmac. Seriously, this is an exhaustive list. And that’s not all of it. He also worries that Sherlock regards him as just a friend who may stop having function in his life soon. Hence the passive-aggressive gesture of substituting himself with a balloon. He fears that whether he is there or not it makes little difference to Sherlock, both practically and emotionally. John is frightened of being abandoned by Sherlock. He KNOWS Sherlock loves him but he can’t help but doubt this after all the lies and games. He wants to know Sherlock is in love with him, but he is also frightened of it. He wants to look away because if he lets go, if he really lets himself believe that, then there is no return. He has been suppressing his feelings for so long that he couldn’t handle such a disappointment.

This summary of their thoughts and emotions really denotes that they should get over these obstacles anf then get together ON-SCREEN. If this is not the case, then we are deprived of all these resolutions, of seeing them getting over their insecurities and fears after all those years. Which brings me to my point: The estrangement needs to be real for this exact reason. This miscommunication between them has caused so much hurt and misunderstandings that their relationship needs to break in order to build again, stronger. They need to willingly choose, trust and support each other through these difficult times. This can only happen through the emotional development which this estrangement provides. Having Sherlock possibly relapsing to drugs, being lonely and sad without John in his life, and then having John crying without Sherlock, is something painful but it forces them to accept and openly recognize their feelings. But in order to achieve that, they need to go through hell. We have seen some pretty sad and painful scenes from TLD which must later be resolved. Imagine how anticlimactic  and disappointing it would be to witness development for the both of them only to have Moftiss say in the end ‘’ha ha, we got you, they were in cahoots the whole time! They just pretended to be estranged!’’. That would erase all of these emotional situations and resolutions that have been silently piling up since s1.

I won’t start this post with “why isn’t anyone talking about ‘3%’?!??” because I know why I don’t see anyone talking about it: Netflix just released this original series last week.

But I think Tumblr could get behind this show. Let me break it down a bit:

- takes place in a post-apocalyptic future. Because there are no other futures in modern fiction aside from the StarStarStars.

- young people are competing for a spot in the coveted 3%: 'people of merit’ who are deemed worthy of going to Offshore. All we really know about Offshore for the first few eps is that it is apparently a perfect peaceful paradise with advanced medicine and tech where no one wants or suffers. So only the best people who can contribute the most get to go. #noassholezone

- the dude running the Process, as they call the selection, is batshit insane but in that really quiet way that sneaks up on you and suddenly holy shit did he really do that??

- between the competition amongst the young people and the crazy dude I just mentioned, it reminds me of parts of the Hunger Games. The parts that were cool in the books and the pre-Games training and the interactions between Tributes

-it’s Brazilian so a chance to practice your Brazilian Portuguese. Also its dubbed and subbed in 3 languages including English.

- Racially diverse cast. The crazy dude is naturally a crusty old white dude but that’s the type that pays to get shows made so who is surprised? But seriously colorful main cast and colorful background extras. I saw some diverse body types amongst those extras too. Like actually sat up and pointed at the screen and said “tum!” when I say a chubby fella in a group shot. I love a chubby tum.

- disabled character in a wheel chair. BLACK disabled character in a wheelchair. Black disabled character in a wheelchair who, when he hears there might be a treatment that lets him walk again on Offshore, literally says “Fuck walking”. Because he didn’t come looking for a cure and he came to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t walk a long time ago and he doesn’t need some miracle cure to make him a viable candidate or interesting character. Cuz he’s a smart dude and really nice and obvs super strong and dedicated.

-black disabled character is the first to get a romantic subplot. Totally deserves it. The other person does not give a single flying fuck about his disability.

I’d keep going but your time would be better spent just checking out the first episode on Netflix.

The beauty of tragedy

I have been thinking of a scene for a while now that happen at the beginning of :re, it`s the one where Nico and Roma discuss at the party.

I find this moment really interesting. I think this a rather “Clown” thing to say since all of the members of the group have a weak spot or love for beautiful things, as it was said in :re chapter 105. Do all find tragedy and horror beautiful, I am not sure. 

But to my main point: Roma wants Kaneki to return so she could see Kaneki`s personal tragedy continue. I guess Kaneki`s suffering for Roma was like she was watching an tragic play, movie, book, comic being continued. In a way, isn`t that a bit of what us, the readers of Tokyo Ghoul too would like too see? I think this thing reaches further than to just Ken`s return, but to tragedy and horror too. We want Kaneki to have lots of happy moments and to see him be happy at the end, but like Roma there, I think we find this odd, grotesque beauty in the horrible happenings that Kaneki/Haise and all of the other characters go trough. 

I surely am one. I want Kaneki and all of the characters to be happy, but I find this strange beauty when something terrible is happening to him. When he was going insane back at Kanou´s lab, muttering to himself and quoting poetry, I found that scene very fascinating as probably majority too. I will also never forget V14 where Arima stabbed him to the eyes and he starts to cite poetry again in the middle of flowers, now with his other eye missing. Also the scene where Haise breaks, he is choking himself and saying how he should just die. That is some messed up stuff right there, but at the same this really twisted beauty. 

The messed up beauty is something the character themselves notice too. One scene with Karren is especially interesting:

A person`s head has been removed and Kanae stares at it, like it`s some piece of art, like it`s beautiful a rose. “What makes roses beautiful is that you pluck it before it withers away.” With the earlier dialogue in that scene and the torture where Eto basically broke Karren I think it`s implied that her mind is not in the right place in that moment.  Still, I find it interesting that she vies something as grotesque as a removed head beautiful. What a strange world. 

I think in the end of the day, Kaneki himself said it best back in V14, when he saw Arima, the Reaper of the CCG, in middle of flowers that smelled like rotten corpses:

 Why do we find beauty in death, why do we find a man beautiful who is standing at the middle of corpses? What is it about tragedies that binds us?

There’s an idea (headcanon?) I’ve had before, that I don’t actually push too hard because it feels kinda out there and me really stretching things, that basically is just me trying to look at some things ingame that aren’t terribly clear or elaborated on. Specifically, trying to think a bit about what makes “essence” different from soul–as Flowey is stated to have Asriel’s essence but not his soul–combined with my thoughts that Flowey’s behavior and experiences point more to PTSD, as losing the ability to love and care about others can actually occur in real-life PTSD sufferers. I’ve thought before, y’know, what if Flowey isn’t actually quite as soulless as he believes he is? My thought is mostly in how, apparently unlike all the other golden flowers Alphys had experimented on, the one that became Flowey had Asriel’s dust, his “essence” in it, though we know boss monster souls shatter upon their death. Do you think maybe all those little soul pieces would be included in that essence?

If it makes any sense at all, I made a quick diagram of a thing I kinda picture in my head. Let’s say you took Toriel and Asgore and looked at them with some kind of “soul x-ray”. Predictably, you’d get the upside-down heart shape that monster souls are depicted as ingame:

But then, with the thought in mind that all the shattered soul pieces would be included in essence, highlighting Flowey as well with this “soul x-ray” would show something like this:

I don’t know if it would really make too much sense, and I’m sure this could all easily be jossed. It’s basically just weird thoughts on the matter. His situation in-universe is so novel–a long-dead little boy made of magic, coming back to life in the form of a flower who has been injected with an immense dose of sheer determination and accidentally given godlike control over the timeline, but missing his full emotional capacity–that I feel there are a lot of ways one can interpret things. I like to try to think of ways that allow for a better ending for him than simply having to accept a doom and gloom outlook, short of jumping right into a magical fairytale ending.

Bucky’s book - new story

A bit of dumb fluff because Bucky’s notebook got me thinking.It looks like angst, but honestly, it’s fluff. I just can’t only do fluff, there has to be a bit of suffering :)

I wrote this in about 45 minutes and I haven’t proof-read or edited because it’s gone midnight and I should be doing ALL the things, so sorry for mistakes or general crapness. 

Also, pic unrelated, but my god I love this pic :)

Fic below or on AO3 here

After Hydra, it was so hard to find the good in the world, so hard to remember that there was good in the world. Until the Avengers took you in. Hydra had taken so much from you, your memories, your freedom, your identity, and you knew that nobody really believed you could get any of it back.

You’d healed, physically, but mentally you were still that scared, scarred animal they’d found locked up. You’d been used, abused, beaten, forced to use your powers in ways that terrified and horrified, and you found it very hard to trust, to believe that this strange group of people could really want to help.

It took time, but you started to open up. They treated your injuries, without wanting anything in return; they gave you a name, a home, friendship, but you always held back. You tried not to let them see when it all got too much, you’d shut yourself away in your room, curl up, try to hide in your own head.

Keep reading


I just wanted to clarify the last post a tiny bit. a comment on it thanked me for suffering for my art, but I want to be entirely clear, as much as I appreciate the comment, what I was addressing yesterday wasn’t about suffering it was about pushing ourselves. 

it’s so easy in the deep of winter to fold inward. to pull another blanket on and say I’ll get out tomorrow. we pile on blankets and winter fat and cross off the days till spring (68, i think) and while some of that is restorative and gives us time to think about where we’re going and tackle big picture stuff, or maybe even start to edit a massive body of photos into a smaller more powerful group, too much indulging in our thoughts usually leads us nowhere.

make no mistake, however, that getting out into the world cannot be about your own suffering. In many ways, I find it the antidote to suffering. you’re alive and freezing. you’re uncomfortable and awake. you’re forcing yourself to do what’s best for yourself, which is to get out and engage life. That’s not suffering. it’s living. 

it’s a new year. the world is bouncing around like a pinball and everything seems so dire. take a deep breath and go see what the hawks think about that. go watch the foxes play in the snow. go watch the geometric magic of drifting snow form in to frozen cresting waves and ask yourself how much of what’s happening in the “world” has any real relationship to being in the world. 

I’m not saying ignore what’s going on. we need to stay engaged, but your life has to be about something more than panic and riding the ups and downs of buzzfeed. 

start that series you’ve been thinking about. stop saying oh man I love those photos. buy a camera and start learning how to make them. live like you give a shit, even when it’s hard. even when its dark and cold and you just can’t seem to get it up for life. find a way. 


I’m waiting.

I’m waiting for the morning when I’ll wake up and surprisingly, you’re not the first thing I catch myself thinking of. I’m waiting for a 3 p.m afternoon where my heart isn’t heavy with longing for you. I am waiting for the night where you stop becoming the reason I can’t sleep, where you stop becoming the focus of my dreams. I’m waiting for the day I’ll manage to stop writing about you. I’m waiting for the moment my heart will finally realize I can’t love you any longer.

Until then, I will just have to wait, and suffer this heartache a little bit more.

—  the waiting game
This Can't Be Real (An Angsty Sleepover Klance fic )

Pairing: Keith/Lance (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Summary: “All I’m saying is…why does it have to be just girls?” Keith nervously bit the inside of his cheek, wondering if Lance was too dense for this conversation. The fact that the blue paladin still wanted to have a sleepover when it was just the two of them was ridiculous enough, so he figured a ridiculous conversation wasn’t too much of a stretch.

Yo so I wrote this thing because I like Keith suffering a little ngl

I hope you like it!

Keep reading

They See Another Member Chatting Up Their Crush (EXO)

Requested by a lovely anon <3 (the crush is trying to figure out how to confess to him)

*Don’t own the gif/s yo*

Author: Taebaby

SUHO 수호: He would prob try and be calm about the situation, not wanting you to see him be jealous or anything (but he’d be secretly be sending Baekhyun death glares). When he found out that you and Baekhyun were just talking about ways for you to confess to him that you like him, he would feel like an idiot (a happy idiot)

CHANYEOL 찬열: He’d feel a bit crestfallen or betrayed (since Xiumin knew he liked you), but he’d try not to take it too hard. I bet he’d bust out laughing when he found out Xiumin was just helping you find a way to confess to him

KYUNGSOO 경수: The satansoo face would make an appearance, but he’d be patient with his thinking of ways to make Jongdae suffer later. I don’t think he’d let on about how happy he was that you were just trying to confess to him (also silently apologizing to Jongdae)

BAEKHYUN 백현: He might get a bit jelly and a bit snappy, seeing you and Chanyeol laughing together, having a jolly old time. I think when he found out that Chanyeol was just trying to help you confess, he would straight tell the truth and admit he was jealous for a minute

JONGIN 종인: He would be kinda hurt to see you talking and smiling with Kyungsoo, since it was well known between the members that he liked you. He’d be so relieved and happy when you ended up confessing to him (with Kyungsoo’s help)

SEHUN 세훈: He’d def get a bit salty, seeing you and Luhan act like best friends. He might not right away comprehend that you had confessed to him until Luhan had smacked him and called him some kind of name

XIUMIN 민석: He’d keep it cool, being in good control of his emotions at his age. But he would be crazy relieved when Yixing helped you to confess to him

CHEN 종대: He would do his best to not let it bother him to see you and Suho hitting it off together, but would be over the moon when you confessed to him instead

YIXING 이씽: He might be a little sad and disappointing in himself for not getting to you before Yifan did. He would be so wonderfully surprised when you confessed to him how you felt


KRIS 크리스: He might try and blow it off and act like he didn’t care about seeing you and Tao talk, but it did bother him. He’d be a little perplexed when you confessed to him, but he wouldn’t question it

TAO 타오: Release the bitch face. He would not take well to you and Sehun being all buddy-buddy. He might not believe you right away when you confess

LUHAN 루한: His pride might take a hit, seeing as right as he was gonna make a move, he see’s Jongin talking you up like a pro. He might feel a little ridiculous about himself when you confess to him 

It’s very difficult, reigning it in and honestly, I know I seem like a jovial character, but there is a real fucking dark side, there. I get terribly depressed, I honestly do, I just have to fuck up and go into the woods for a bit. I think for anyone who suffers like that, I fucking urge you to embrace it and there’s NOTHING wrong with being completely not, people are so fucking boring, man, y'know? ADHD, it’s just a label, like, really, I mean, shit, I’m just a fucking dick.
—  Joe Gilgun going on a rant about accepting your mental illness as a part of you (bless).
  • *Magnus refuses to give up a fight during the wheel portion of the suffering game and the party receives the penalty*
  • Griffin: And you see a fifth dot appear over the door in front of you.
  • Magnus: Well dump.
  • Griffin: And a little bit of smoke comes out.
  • Taako: Ah, hey, you know? Not so bad.
  • Magnus: Now that I think about it-
  • Taako: *cutting him off* But I will say this you LOOOVE fighting, huh? You just LOOOOOVE it.

anonymous asked:

I have a the question. What is Ninety One Whiskey?

ninety one whiskey is a 400+K WWII destiel fanfic with cas as first lieutenant and dean as a medic and it is from cas’ pov and there’s character development and graphic war scenes and love and -

have you ever ripped your heart out and smashed into the ground then had people cut little bits out of it just to watch you suffer and just when you think you’re about to die (assuming that having your heart ripped out didn’t kill you…..) all those people come back to put those little pieces back where they belong and you thank them, only for them to just to do it all over again?

that’s ninety one whiskey, my friend

check out the authors blog @cuddlebabies 

Why I am sure that Season 4 is about Even

1: Isaks season was only 10 episodes, the other two seasons have twelve episodes each.. Isaks season was about him and about accepting his sexuality and he is happy at the end of IT…but only near the end we found out that Even was bipolar and we got to see a little glimpse of how it looked and how Isak got to deal with it. But why was it only 10 episodes? Why start a story about mental illness near the end and then move on to a new character, if the reason is not that Even gets his own season? Skam is an incredibly important series that educates young people. And mental illness is something that many young people suffer from (I suffer too), I honestly do not think that they just gave us a little bit of something so important and then not continue on that track and talk about it more. This is the perfekt time to let a bipolar character Have his own season! And maybe because Isak & Even are a couple now and their storys collide is the reason for the 10 episodes instead of 12?

2: in the last episode, in the kitchen when Even talks about his mother with Isak, he sends a message to someone, surely his mother, we hear that the message is sent, we hear the sound of Even’s phone, which we do not usually hear from someone other than the main character. Which is very strange, why do we hear that now all of a sudden? Maybe because we are slowly replacing the main character?

3: Okay, we all know for sure that we will get a season with both Sana and Vilde. Obvious! But the other seasons have been about people who are still in school, and this then becomes Evens last year in school, therefore the last chance for him to get a season. so it’s perfect timing for Even to have his own season. I myself see no reason why any of the other guys would get their own season yet. Even is the only guy right now that has an important story to tell. with this timing, they build up Vilde’s season really good, I see that Sana will get season 5 & Vilde get season 6 when russetime occurs.

4: the other seasons have ended with who next season will be all about. In season one it ends with Eva & Noora, season two ends with Isak looks at us. And season three ends with Even looking at Isak. (Okay, it ends with Isak & Eva but they have already had a season) This may be to fool us what do I know, but I do not think that they break the pattern. It is one of the things I love about the season finale. and not only that, the last thing we see is the text ‘alt er love’. the first time we see this is in Evens room, on a note attached to his wardrobe. it can not be a coincidence that they end the season with Even looking at us/ Isak and then the 'alt er love’ at the end IF season 4 is not about Even, like come on!

The conversation between Isak and Eva was a bit strange. It was realistic and all that, I understand, but it gave me a strange feeling. that something will happen. that their story does not end there. I can not really explain it but I still have a strange feeling. it feels like it was the beginning of something new. I cant be the only one feeling like this?

and finally, it is Isak & Even’s love story that made the whole world to watch Skam. so why not continue with their love story? because I like many others felt that 10 episodes was not enough, we want more! However, I want Evens season to be about how he is with being bipolar, and everything else we do not know about him, but Isak become a big part of his life now and I think we deserve to see more of them two together. there are too many loose ends if we only get to see them in the background..

I Have strong faith that Even Will be the main in season 4, and I suck at explaining things and even worse in english so sorry for that. Just wanted to share My thoughts.


I am a genius!

Ok so that might be being a bit dramatic BUT I was just sat there quite happily writing my ten count omorashi fic when an idea hit me!

Kurose convincing Shirotani - it could be a new list! Like ‘10 dirtiest ways to make Shirotani suffer’ (in a good way obvs). I mean he’s basically cleared the original list by this point why not have a kinky version to do as well?

Kurose’s version: The 10 most dirtiest things I can make Shirotani-san do.

You see where I’m going with this? I should turn it into a series of drabbles!

Now accepting prompts for smutty situations you all want to see Kurose put Shirotani through 👌😉