i think i just spaced out for an hour

fun things about you and your friends all having disorders
  • your stim is making me also want to stim but i dont have anything how dare you
  • “how do you calm someone down from a panic attack” “dont you have panic attacks all the time” “yes shut up this about YOU and YOUR panic attack”
  • im bad at understanding what people mean and youre bad at understanding what people mean lets get together and have a lot of misunderstandings
  • you sound passive aggressive but i can tell you think you sound polite and nice bc i can relate
  • you spaced out while i was talking and i was about to tell you but then i spaced out
  • “im ready for death” “lmao same”
  • ive been procrastinating on this thing for three hours but youre suffering with me so its not as bad
  • “hey…. is it ok if we dont go out tonight i just. i just dont feel like i can. no spoons” “oh thank god”
  • lie down on me dont ask questions
  • “are you real” “i dont know actually”

Shopping Gone Wrong Starters
  • "I had to punch out my neighbor for this."
  • "I just watched a woman punt a toddler to get the last sweater!"
  • "Why are you even worrying? The kid's just going to ignore the toy and play with the box."
  • "I'd say the line wrapped around the back of the store is a bad sign."
  • "You think anyone will notice if I just bump that little VW out of its space?"
  • "I've been here an hour and I still can't find my car. Please come get me."
  • "Look, if they really cared about their bags, do you think they would have left them unattended? No. So just take them and run."
  • "No, no, no, I did not stand in this line for you to decline my card--"
  • "Nothing says Christmas like sinking your bank account into the red."
  • "It was get this console they want, or eating for the week. I'll be fine."
  • "The joy on their face is not worth this."
  • "I found a store that has what we want in stock -- four hours away."
  • "If you say one more word about online shopping, I swear--"
  • "They have it in every size except the one I need!"
  • "I'm not getting up from this massage chair. You can't make me."
  • "I forgot the list at home."
  • "You can't stop me from punching that mall Santa in the face."
  • "I've got everyone covered -- the sex store was having a sale!"
  • "I was a good person once. Before I walked into this store."
  • "You realize you bought a rip-off and not the real thing, right?"

Thank you so much for sending kind messages. ;u; I’m feeling a bit better now after I’ve gotten a full day’s worth of rest.

Basically, I think I was very fatigued to the point where I almost passed out. An hour before the end of my shift, I felt really, really tired for some reason to the point where I kept spacing out.

On my way home, a co-worker probably noticed that I wasn’t looking too good and accompanied me until I reached the van that would bring me home. Unfortunately, it got worse so we decided to stop by at a fast food place at the hopes that I was just hungry and getting something in my system would help. 

But I couldn’t even sit down and ended up vomiting (even with an empty stomach) and didn’t eat any of the food I bought. My friend was very nice to help me even then and we went to the nearest hospital. Honestly, I think I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her.

By this time, I was close to passing out but I managed to call a good friend if they could pick me up (they did, but they lived far so it took a while). I got checked up by the doctor (told me it was a case of syncope) then went home right away. My co-worker stayed with me until I left and I’m just thankful for her being around at my moments of weakness.

Right now, I still feel very faint but not as light-headed as yesterday. I took a leave from work so I have three consecutive days of rest. o)-( 

learning to listen to my body

As someone who struggles with food addiction, it’s sometimes hard to listen to my body. In the not so distant past, I would eat even after I was full. Even if I was painfully full I would still eat because I felt…empty? I know that sounds cheesy, but it was this mental space in my body that felt real. I would keep eating until I was in pain and sick. I don’t know why I did it, but it made the ‘hole’ go away. Just for an hour or two.

I think I was conditioned to view food as a source of entertainment. I ate when I was sad, bored, angry, or stressed because it gave me something to focus on. My parents would even take my sister and I out for ice cream or to a junk-food-restaurant if we got a good grade or won some sports game. Food became viewed as more of a prize or reward. The relationship I’ve had with food has been extremely unhealthy and toxic.

Thanks to Keto, I get full faster and I actually stop eating once I’m full. I love this diet and I plan to do it for as long as I can.

since i tend to be a slowpoke when it comes to drawing and spending hours just on stupid sketches i gave each of those here a time limit of 15 minutes which… I NEVER DO i felt kinda stressed out >: |

also i have to get back to work tomorrow after a nice week off and there was no time for staring into space thinking about how i’d rather be at home for cartoons and games and drawing and actually having time for people D8

Where Was Ford When Stan Opened the Portal?

(Aka it’s 2:30 am and I have entirely lost control of my life)

Alright people, I’ll get right to it. I think I know whereabouts Ford was when the portal opened to bring him back. I’ve just spent the last few hours sciencing the shit out of what we know so far, and I’m gonna share it with you.

I know I’m a little late to the party on this one, by while doing a little research earlier this evening I found out that the symbols around the edge of the portal are actually the symbols for the Behenian fixed stars. These are fifteen stars, used for magical and alchemical purposes back in the medieval days.

Now, there are sixteen symbols around the edge of the portal, but I figure that, if this portal is designed to be used both ways, there should probably be a ‘home’ symbol, right? So my guess is that that last unknown symbols stands for our own sun, Sol.

Now, when the portal stabilises and Ford finally does come back through, some of those symbols are lit up, like in the top image. Why is this important?

Because if you have six points of reference in space, you can calculate the midpoint to get a destination.

Keep reading

sam says i’ve been too stressed lately, so he got me one of those adult coloring books. you know, the type that are supposed to help with relaxation

after trying to figure out the patterns and color in the very tiny spaces for about an hour, i ended up scribbling over the page like an enraged toddler and went to buy a children’s coloring book

relaxation my ass


hello ! its been a while since ive properly redone my commissions post ! ive hiked up the prices a bit since i was essentially making peanuts . that said , i dont think these prices are too unreasonable ! if you have any qs , just lmk ! :- )

i am currently employed working few hours to support myself and save enough to fly back to the UK and be with a family who loves and support me ! please help out so i can afford to travel away from my current destructive living space.

please be super specific + provide reference if possible!

paypal: SpoiledCitrus@hotmail.com


  • simple backgrounds: $6
  • NOTE: for palettes , ill give you a selection of ones that ive collected to choose from after getting the general idea for the feel of the piece .

wont do:

  • mechs
  • animals
  • super complex backgrounds

tonight is a bad night.
well, every night is a bad night.
i guess what i’m saying is:
some are worse than others.

some nights, i can function.
i can do my work.
i can talk to my friends.
i can think about tomorrow without certain dread.

nights like this, i can just barely sit up.
i stare at photos of you and imagine myself in them.
i space out for hours at a time over nothing at all.
and i can’t even think about tomorrow.

because today is so damn hard.
well, worse than others.

i try to tell myself comforting things.

i didn’t do this to myself.
it doesn’t work.
well, i’m pretty sure i did.

—  letters from drake’s ex; i can’t get over you, you left your mark on me
I think I found home in the spaces between his fingers, he holds my name in his heart like it’s made out of porcelain. I crave his hugs because even if it’s just for a few seconds, I can feel his touch and his arms around me. And I can be intoxicated by his scent. His heart beat is the last thing I want to hear when I go to sleep at night, I want him to make love to my ears and talk about anything he’s passionate about for hours, I’ll gladly listen. His voice has become my new favourite sound. It’s like I found my sweet escape when I’m alone with him, I want to cuddle with him, make him laugh, and make him moan. He’s my object of affection, my drug of choice, and my sick obsession. I want that boy like roses want rain, like a poet that needs pain, and nothing has ever felt sweeter than falling for him.
—  I just threw up some sappy words onto my tumblr page

cupricsulphate  asked:

To, that ask box meme, do: 4, 44, 104, 144.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Yeah I think so! I’m pretty easygoing.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

BOTH TERRIFY ME. Bottom of the ocean? I dunno I don’t wanna die in a shuttle fire.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

I mean not to get all depressing and shit but I’ve had a LOT of people in my family die. So them. I really wish I had the opportunity to come out to my grandparents because I just would have LOVED my grandfather’s reaction he’d just be so curious and loving.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

OH MAN DARK ALL THE WAY!!!!! No reason to eat the others tbh. I’ll do it cause I’m a slut for chocolate but like damn dark chocolate all the way.

Here’s the questions!

I really needed to just paint for fun for a few hours this evening. Not sure if I will get a chance to wrap this one up, but here is a little snippet of what will eventually be a young girl making an epic journey on a flying cloud… with a staff… to the west of space… I guess? 

I probably need to think this one out some more, haha.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.


Imagine Yoongi is too afraid to ask you out

Yoongi sat there for hours, thinking of ways to ask you out. Everytime he pictured it, he just imagined you laughing and turning him down. He frowned, scrunching his nose up and leaning back, sighing in frustration. He couldn’t bring himself to ask you out, let alone look you in the eye without blushing. 

“Good morning, Yoongi.” You smiled, walking into the office space, passing by the chair in which he was sitting in.

“Would you like to go?” He quickly spluttered out, causing you to pause and turn.

“Would I like to go?” You repeated, confused.

“I mean, would you uh, like to go on a date with me?” He asked, taking his time. He had already messed up, and was mentally kicking himself. “This evening? We could go watch a movie?”

“I’d like that,” You smiled. “But…there is something I need to do first.”

She leaned down, and kissing him gently on the cheek.

“What was that for?” He asked, blushing.

“I like you, Yoongi, and I won’t have you acting all flustered around me.” She smiled.

He took a deep breath, and pressed his own lips against her cheek, causing her to giggle.

Do you ever think of me
When you’re out and about
In the day. When the sun is
Shinning and You’re with your
Friends. Or am I only existent
In the lonely hours of your mind.
When there’s no one around and
You just want to kill time. Am a I filler
Of dead blank space?
—  Ileana S.

now you know / me

Made in the AM could have been a really bad album. Or worse, actually, it could have been boring: an hour of soulless, bombastic stadium pop, big harmonies, no feeling, phoned in by four dudes trying to run out a contract in order to take a fucking break. Instead it’s a love letter, full of tenderness.

You write love letters to stand in for your presence, in case of your absence. If I Could Fly is a song about trying to fill in a hollow space between two people: if I could fly / I’d be coming right back home back to you. I think I might / give up everything / just ask me to. One Direction have spent five years being everywhere, which adds up to a lot of nowhere: hours and then years spent between places, on busses and planes, sound checking in empty stadiums, sleeping in anonymous hotel rooms.

Everything about this song threatens shlock— the title, the for your eyes only refrain, the strings brought in to back them up. But the ache of that question almost-asked right up front gives it the raw shiver it needs to stay honest: I think I might / give up everything / just ask me to. It’s an admission that all of that absence was something they chose, and are choosing. And it’s not something they’re quite ready to give up on just yet.

They’re not even ready to ask the question themselves.

It goes on: pay attention / I hope that you’re listening / ‘cause I let my guard down / right now I’m completely defenseless / for your eyes only / I’ll show you my heart. The song makes a point of its own vulnerability; it underscores that the love it’s talking about is a carefully kept secret. Privacy and sleep are the two things the boys have never had enough of, these past five years. They’ve dealt with it cheerfully, for the most part, repeating the party line about appreciating anything and everything their fans do for them so often you can almost hear the grooves its worn into each of their minds. But they don’t reveal themselves readily; they’re famously well media-trained in interviews, giving charming, evasive non-answers to every imaginable question.

So there’s nothing more powerful they can offer than the promise of being completely defenseless, guard down. The love itself pales in comparison to the promise of intimacy, which is different, and trickier, and what we all want, ultimately. To know one another. To have someone willing to show you what they’re scared of, the belly-soft parts of their hearts.

I hope that you don’t run from me, Harry sings at the end of the bridge. The song talks about love, but what it’s powered by is need: something with edges, something with teeth. The thing you’re so afraid of not-having that getting it seems out of the question; the thing that not-having is so terrifying that, ultimately, you’re willing to think about what it would mean to give up everything in order to try to get it.

honestly, i wouldn’t have been surprised if adam took longer to think everything over and work out if he really wanted to pursue this, but i also absolutely love that he just goes for it, after only a couple hours’ deliberation, just decides to throw caution to the wind and trust himself and his own feelings, trust that this is real and he really wants it and that he’s not just playing with ronan’s feelings, and knowing they’ll figure out all of the rest later. because it’s them and this is important and they’re going to make it work no matter what.

“Ok … lets just think this through … I can figure this out … I can figure out who I am …” the lone audino mumbled to herself as she slowly paced through the strange maze like trail that cut through this odd forest space.

Everything looked the same even after she managed to find a few passages that led deeper in. However, no matter where she went there seemed to be no end in sight.

That wasnt the worst part of this situation.

No, the worst part was she found herself waking in this strange place hours ago. Waking in these dark woods with no memory of anything aside from her name.

The entire situation felt foreign to her and even her own body felt unnatural and the low growls from her stomach did not help with that.

When was the last time she ate? How long was she passed out on the ground? Who was she?

These thoughts were cut off by the distant sounds of something moving her way. She could feel her panic rising. She could hear everything for what felt like miles around and this sounded like something big rushing her way.

Growling didnt help. She most certainly heard growling and barking.

Dogs. They sounded like dogs. That was something she was familiar with.

As she ran she could hear whatever was chasing getting closer and closer. Even now she could hear the sound of their panting breath. Before long she felt a heavy weight slamming into her back sending her flying forward and rolling roughly over the rugged forest floor.

There was no time to register the feeling of falling as her tumbling body dropped over a nearby ledge like a stone. She felt herself crashing down through trees, the heavy branches both cushioning the fall but leaving painful scrapes and bruises before she finally landed on the ground with a dull thud.