i think i just enjoy torturing myself

Confident Seduction.

Requested by avengershavethetardis: Where the reader was a member of Kingsman and when they go to meet the Statesmen Agent Whiskey starts to try and “seduce” her but he then realizes that she just flirts right back and he seems kind of flustered around her but then develops feelings for her because of her confidence.
Pairing: Agent Whiskey x Reader.
Fandom: Kingsman.
Warnings: Swearing, very mild sexual references.
Word Count: 1814

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Teacher’s Pet (Chapter 87 x Mark POV)

“Do you know why I love our early morning consultations so much?” Davis asks, dropping a hot, fuming cup of black coffee in front of me. His office always smells like coffee in the mornings. Especially at seven am, when he has to listen to me.

“Why?” I ask, rubbing my hands together, leaning on my knees and contemplating the floor anxiously. Davis serves himself a cup of coffee. He needs it more than I do.

“Because it usually means you’re going to keep paying me for at least six months.” He says simply. I would have laughed, if it wasn’t awfully accurate. I grab my cup of coffee and take a single sip. It’s disgusting.

“I hate our morning consultations.” I mutter down at my cup. I need a candy.

“I sincerely hope you do.” Davis replies. Ah.

He doesn’t know how bad his coffee is.

I put my cup down and calculate the radius of the top of it. His cups are always the same radius even though they’re different. I wonder if he has OCD about the radius of his coffee mugs.

“So.” Davis prompts, pen and notebook in hand. “What do you want to talk about?”


Sighing, I lean back and let my head roll back onto the backrest of the sofa. I close my eyes and open the floodgates. In a nanosecond, I’m swimming in my inner pain again. My throat tightens as it strangles me, my eyes heating up already. I fell like a train is running over me. I don’t know where to start. My heart is twisted in so many directions by so many things at the same time. All that I know for sure is that it really hurts. And I know deep down that my heart is already starting to be torn open.

“I don’t know how I’m getting out of this one.” I whisper, not trusting my voice.

“What happened?” Davis asks me. If only I knew. If only this wasn’t the most difficult equation on earth. If only I could theorize this. Then maybe. Maybe, I’ll be able to understand. Solve the situation? Maybe not. But at least know what’s going on.

“I don’t know.” I tell him, frowning. Everything happened so fast. My last happy memory was Abby saying yes when I asked her to be my wife. And now I’m here, and she’s kissed some else than me. Twice. And she hates me. And Olivia is here in the middle.

“Everything was fine.” I muse, my eyes starting to sting behind my closed eyelids.

“Everything was perfect.” I whisper.

I genuinely don’t know how to explain. Everything is mushy. I remember being angry here and there, but I had no control over all these events. I don’t know which en to grab to untangle this ball of problems.

“I don’t know if I’m hurting because Abigail may be cheating on me.” I murmur, and my voice is starting to shake a little. I don’t have the strength to pretend it doesn’t affect me that much. It’s too early in the morning. I ran my way there under the rain. I’m tired.

“Or because me being such an idiot is the reason why she kissed him.” I muse.

“Could you start from the beginning, Mark?” Davis asks me. I don’t really know when it all started. Everything is blurry inside my head. I’m not sure of anything anymore. I don’t know why what happened has happened. Is it all my fault? Is it hers?

Every time I try to think about it, I can only figure out one thing. And then my chest starts to hurt. I blink, opening my eyes and staring at the ceiling. It’s all blurry because my eyes are teary. I calculate the surface area of the ceiling.

“Everything hurts.” I explain. “So bad.”

“What does?” He says quietly.

“Abigail.” I choke out, trying not to burst into tears just yet. “She hurts me.” I murmur. I’m not only talking about Lecter. There’s something else. Everything hurst when I start to think about her.

“I love her so much…” I whisper.

“What did she do?” The shrink asks me. Well, when she kissed him, it was right after I had being horrible to her. I’m holding it against her, of course, but it was my fault. I was already like this before it happened. I was already hurting because of her.

“It was my fault. I started losing it way before she kissed him.” I warn him.

“Kissed who?”

Sniffling, I bring my head down to give him an impassive stare.

“You’re going to act like you haven’t seen the news?” I ask him. He blinks three times.

“I haven’t.”

He always pretends.

Sighing, I lean forward and bring my hands up to my face, wiping the tears that have fallen without my consent.

“I had no control over anything, and everything crumbled down.” I say, my head hanging low. I run one hand through my hair all the way to the back of my nape.

“And I don’t know if I can save our relationship.” I mumble. I feel like I’m too close to losing her. I feel like I went too far this time. I know she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I’m just dragging things on but I’m waiting for the moment when she’ll tell me she’s done waiting for me.

“I’m not even sure there’s anything to save.” I say to myself.

“That’s not very optimistic.” Davis remarks. I glance up at him and sigh, sitting back against my seat.

“She kissed him again.” I explain. “After I pushed her away. She literally just walked out and he happened to pass.” I shrug, more angry tears making my eyes burn.

“And Olivia tried to kidnap her.” I add, because that’s mot the only thing that’s driving me nuts.

“She’s the one who leaked the picture by the way.” I tell him. One more thing I had no control over. “Didn’t see it coming either.”

There’s a moment of silence, during which I run my hand over my face, and keep it over my eyes, because I know I’m going to start crying anytime soon.

“I’m losing my shit.” I murmur.

“Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? Help me understand. Look at me.” Davis says encouragingly. I look up at his face.

“When do you think it all began?” He asks quietly. I try to think.

I think it was right after we got engaged. When she found out about Olivia. That was something. It shook me. I thought I was losing her then. But it was solved. I think. What’s the Pauli equation again?

“When I saw that picture of her kissing her teacher.” I say.

“She told you she kissed him?” He says.

“No.” I shake my head. That’s not what happened. Why do I keep putting it it like that? “No, he kissed her and she pushed him away.” I correct myself.

“And the day I found out I also found out he was her boss.” I add quietly, looking away. “But she didn’t knew about it either.”

“These are the explanations she gave you.” Davis guesses. I nod.

“And you believe them.” He concludes, and I nod again. I look up at him. Should I not believe them? I do. I really do, but should I?

“I don’t think Abigail is the cheating type of person.” Davis reassures me, as if he knew what I was thinking.

“What happened after that?” He asks me. Well, a hurricane happened. I remember just feeling angrier and angrier with each passing second. And I was lost too. I didn’t know how to fix things. And I had to deal with it with Lecter himself. And Olivia came up again. It soon became too much for me.

“I was still angry with her. And I think I had the right to.” I murmur. “But I didn’t handle it very well.”

“What did you do?” He asks.

“I don’t know.” I shake my head.

“It was like a tornado. Next thing I know we had sex in my office and I was too rough with her.” I explain, shameful.

“She complained about that?” He asks me. Like she ever complains about it.


“But you feel like it was abuse.” Davis guesses. I nod. “Even though it was consensual.”

I nod again. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake off that feeling. Before, I felt like the slightest touch was a step too far. I did make progress. We’re exploring our sexuality together, and I don’t feel guilty every time we have ‘normal’ sex anymore, but I can’t get over the fact that I enjoy spanking, bruising, restraining, torture and choke this sweet girl who was abused before. Why would you open up to someone who wants to do similar things to you? Yes, she does enjoy it to some degree I think, and I can’t help myself either sometimes, but my life would be easier without these… taste.

“And then, what happened?” My doctor asks. After that I realized just how violent I had been. And I was disgusted with myself, and she was there, reminding me of what I had done. And I was mad at her because of Lecter. And she looked so beautiful. She came for me and it was so good. She was so good to me. It made me ever more mad.

“I told her to leave. Quite harshly.” I confess. “She was in tears and…” my voice trails off. What happened after that nearly made me throw up.

“And I watched her on the security cameras just to be sure she was leaving safely. And he came up and she just…” I shrug, unable to say the words again.

“She kissed him.” Lecter finishes for me. I nod.

“And after that?”

“She pushed him away within a second or two. She seemed to be sorry.” I murmur. “I told her to go sleep at her friend’s place.”

“You avoided her?” He asks, and I nod.

“You didn’t confront her.”

I nod.

“She doesn’t know you know about the kiss.”

I shake my head. From the corner of my eye, I watch him take notes.

“You said Abigail was kidnapped.” He says once he’s finished.

Oh, right. Another heart attack.

“I found her a driver. He’d pick her up at Beatrice’s place and drive her to work. I didn’t want her to use her car because she drives like a madman.” I explain. When I think about it, it would have never happened if Abby didn’t drive like a kamikaze.

“One morning the driver called me to tell me he’d been assaulted by two guys.” I tell him.

“So I called Abigail to let her know but she told me she was being driven to work by someone else. She managed to get out, but left her phone inside and I tracked it back to Olivia’s office.” I explain.

“I didn’t tell her who’s office it was, and she got mad at me for that.” I add.

She hates it when I hide things. And even though she hid things from me, the number of secret I had for her before outweighs everything she did.

“She keeps bugging me to know what’s wrong and I can’t talk to her because I’m hurting so much and I don’t want to deal with it.” I murmur.

Davis is about to say something when my phone starts buzzing furiously in my pocket. I fish it out and see Laetitia, my PA, is trying to reach me. I stare at the screen, dreadful.

If she’s calling me this early, there must be something important happening. Something I have to take care of. I have to take care of my company. Took so much time and effort to get it to where it is now. If Laetitia is calling me. I have to pick up.

“You can come back later today if you want.” Davis says reassuringly. I have a strange feeling of discouragement. I don’t want to know what Laetitia has to say to me. I reject the call.

“I don’t want to go to work.” I breathe, shaking my head. I don’t want to go and pretend I’m okay. I don’t want to find out what else has happened to Abby. I don’t want to go and find out that Olivia has done something again.


Panic grips my heart. Something might happen. If I go out and walk through the day, something will happen.

“I don’t want to leave this office.” I mutter to myself, letting my head fall between my hands. I don’t want to go on with my life anymore. Outside this office, all my problems will start chasing me. I’m sick of it. Sick of not controlling anything. I just wanted to be happy, and I try to do things that make me happy.

But it always ends up the same way.

I thought she’d let me be happy.

“I don’t want to deal with it.” I grind out. I get those thoughts. Nasty, nasty thoughts.

“With what?” Davis asks.

“My life.” I sob. I wish time would stop. I just want everything to stop and never start again. I wish my life would just stop right here and end.

Those are nasty thoughts. I can’t think like that. I have to force myself. It’s always better to hurt than to think like that.

My phone starts to vibrate again.

“I have to go.” I whisper, pushing myself up on my feet.

How am I going to do this?

“Mark.” Davis says, getting up as well. When I look at him, he’s opening his notebook, withdrawing a sheet of paper from between the pages.

“Here.” He hands me a note. An prescription. For antidepressants. He thinks I’m depressive?


Screenshots from WHAT IS HE DOING? | Try Not To Cringe Horrible Sounds Edition #2

Originally posted by perfectlythought

Okay I’ll admit it everyone! I cringed so badly because of this fucking video with some those sounds! I didn’t survive the video this time! xD It’s funny because nothing really got to me in the last video Seán did of this. Nothing in the last video gave me the same reaction that wet rubber does. But this fucking video with some of these sounds oh my god! Some of he metal scraping videos and ESPECIALLY the 2nd glass cutting video gave me that grit your teeth, creepy tingles up your back and weird reactions feelings in general, I fucking hated it! xD The scraping metal videos reminded me of school and how I hate the sound of metal school deck chairs being pushed in because the legs of the chair would scrap against the tile on the floor. Some of those videos made me think about that feeling of dragging and moving those chairs around without picking them up. But the glass video made cringe the most and I don’t even know why it did, I don’t usually have a problem with glass sounds but that sound was so fucking high pitched to me and it just sounded so bad. xD 
But despite me cringing at the sounds in this video and Seán and I torturing myself, I had so much fun watching this video. :) Seán’s reactions to these videos are always just priceless and hilarious. His reaction to the guy who hit his teeth with the fork was the absolute best! :D It’s fun watching him torture himself with these sounds and I think it’s super nice that he made 2 videos based on our suggestions and the sounds that bother some of us. Plus I actually really enjoyed listening to him talk about tinnitus and how he got it/why he has it and hearing in general too. I liked hearing his mini sound lesson in this video! :D 
I know he’s most likely isn’t gonna make another one of these videos but I’ve seriously have had so much fun with both of them. I love watching Seán cringe and freak out at some of these sounds in these videos, haha! ^_^

I used to think there were monsters in this world
Hiding under my bed
In the dark of the night
So I was terrified of being alone in the dark

I used to think monsters would hurt me
Torture me
Until I cried out
So I was terrified of being alone in the dark

But I’ve learned that nothing can hurt me
More than I’ve already hurt myself

Now I know there are monster in this world
And I just happen to be one of them
Consistently sabotaging myself
So I’m terrified of being alone in the dark

I’m terrified of being alone in the dark

—  Dark

Anyone who really knows me, knows I hate going out and I hate clubs but I continue to go with my friend anyway, she loves going out but I like keeping her company. I don’t know if anyone is similar to me in the sense that when I’m out I just stand there and don’t move and its go awkward because my friend is doing a mini dance and I’m like stop this is torture… I feel so out of place and I think its a great way to meet certain kind of people but I’ve forced myself to enjoy it, I’d rather just watch a movie.

Anyways my friend could tell I was super uncomfortable and asked if we could chill with Tory Lanez at his studio, so I’m like whatever I want some peace and quiet.

So we meet Tory (corn ball) he’s a nice guy but all we were doing is just sitting on his couch while he was recording which irritated me more because I’m like what are we getting out of being here at 5 in the morning. I’m exhausted and if Tory Lanez was actually a good artist I’d hang around, but he sucks and so does his music. So we finally leave and I’m thinking this girl really paid for an uber to see an artist.. I mean for what. I probably sound impertinent but I’d rather be spoiled all night and relaxed than feeling like a groupie.

Little Talks - snowbaz


HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY @bonetyhunter I’M YOUR SECRET SNOWBAZ VALENTINE (@snowbazvalentines) :D 

i figured that I would write our lil cuties in that unwritten part of chapter 62(?) where baz is talking about how much these nERDS are kissing and being cute. it’s fluff in the first degree.

happy valentine’s day, this is for youuuu!! 

Genre: F L U F F

Warnings: sickeningly cute

Summary: Simon and Baz are having quiet little chats on Baz’s bed, teasing each other and pushing buttons in the cutest ways.

Word Count: 1,025

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anonymous asked:

Oh man this blog is amazing? Keep up the good work! Idk if you seen the recent trailer for Sonic Forces but what was your opinion on Infinite when he said "Torturing this wanna-be hero won't feel too bad"? Do you think that was actually Infinite talking or the ruby if we go with the hc that he is possed by the ruby?

EEEE THANK YOU SM !! im really glad people are enjoying it so far, i only set it up just the other day and i already have a handful of followers and have been getting these kind streams of asks :’’D i have indeed seen the trailer! i try and keep myself pretty up to date on forces stuff. i will admit, that line did worry me a bit o o f but im hoping so hard that all of this is solely due to him being corrupted by the phantom ruby or phantom ruby prototype; im not sure which it is. : V

yep, just like i did with the stu ones, i actually read the nood/le am/as because i love torturing myself. and yep, i got  um….angry. so, i think this is the last time i’ll ever read any redd/it am/as from them ever again. and it’s sad, because i used to really like nood/le, she’s like my second favorite, but with her portrayal…..i’m just getting–ugh…

picture above “iIt shows the meaning of life. Something we are not meant to understand, but that we should try to contemplate. Much like the enduring mystery of Mur/doc’s sex appeal.”

i don’t have to highlight anything in the picture below, just because it’s pretty short. But someone asked her if she was an average joe and not a member, would she still be a fan of the band, and that’s what she replied with. and like, throughout this entire phase in the interviews, she has just been throwing petty jabs at Mur/doc. And honestly?? I don’t understand and I’m getting a little tired of it. Just because? Nood/le and Mur/doc are not like him and Stu. They’ve had a stable relationship throughout most of the phases. In fact, he’s been the nicest to her. Like she’s stated in a phase four interview that she’s mad at him for the “vacation”. But like?? Since Plastic B/each was never technically finished, what even ACTUALLY happened to Nood/le during it? Like, we were told she had gone to hell?? Then we had told those were just drunken rambles??? And not only that, but it’s been s e v e n years, Mur/doc and Nood/le SERIOUSLY hasn’t cleared that up yet, what happened & understand each other?? Especially when there’s an autobiography of Mur/doc explaining why he set it up and whatnot.

Not only that, but she mentioned how much of a hell touring with the boys can be?? Which like, I dunno? She’s talked about them being “naughty” in other phases, especially in the DARE interview. But like?? She has also said really nice things about…But in this phase it seems like she’s more “sassier”, and not in a good way.

Now if this was Stu making these comments about Mur/doc, I wouldn’t care much. Because yeah, Mur has abused Stu for 20 years. Stu’s anger is way more understandable. But like?? Nood/le has never hated Mur/doc until now. And the fact that it’s been this long, and they haven’t explained it to each other, or they’re still bitter or whatever is just….It’s just weird.

Pushing aside the unnecessary, kinda weird/sick joke (even if it’s supposed to be another jab, this time at the fandom, it was still odd for her to state it, especially when dancing shouldn’t lead your mind to anything dirty, it just felt forced.) The reason why I even screenshotted this, is that Stu……Stu NEVER danced in any of the phases. The closest he’s done, that I can remember, was in the Dirty H/arry MV, and that he barely danced, he just walked around, throwing his hands up in the air to entertain some kids How can he teach her THOSE dance moves?? And even in the new MVs, he’s not even that good at it. I hardly doubt that Stu taught her, but okay.

Being sick sucks... (Matt Espinosa Imagine)

Requested by Anon

Okay, so you jumped to the top of my list when I heard you weren’t feeling well! I hope you feel better soon, don’t like it when my followers are feeling ill. Speedy recovery and I hope you like the imagine and that it will be worth reading!!*


“Patty’s party. Drinking with friends. Graduation!” I read through all the comments of my friends’ Instagram pictures. It sucked, so much, to be sick on the day I was supposed to be out there enjoying myself. And if I didn’t torture myself enough with my friends’ pictures, I decided to go to my boyfriend’s profile. I was surprised when I found… nothing. Absolutely nothing about his evening.

That made me nervous and petrified and my mind started running through all the bad stuff that could happen to him. I decided to text him instead of making up my own conclusions.

Hope you’re enjoying yourself! Be responsible. I love you. I wondered for a few seconds if he would think I was clingy, but then I decided to just send it. A few seconds later my phone buzzed and I felt my heart beat return to normal when I saw it was from Matt.

Missing you, hope you’re feeling better. I love you too. Btw would you quickly go to your living room? His message said and without thinking twice about his command, I stood up, with my blanket, and went to our living room.

My mom and dad went to the store so I knew I was alone. So just imagine my surprise when I saw someone sitting in my living room. When he heard my footsteps he immediately turned around holding something in his hands.

“What are you doing here, Matt?” I asked and even though I tried to sound less excited than I felt, I couldn’t contain my happiness.

“Do you really think that I would go out, drinking and partying, when my beautiful girlfriend was sick?” He asked walking closer. He lifted his free hand, the one not holding the plastic bag, to my cheek and ran his thumb across my cheek.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” I asked wishing I could kiss him, but not wanting to make him sick too. My palms started to get sweaty and my vision blurry. Matt immediately realised that something changed in my body language.

“What can I do? Please tell me how I can help?” He begged his voice filled with terror. I would’ve laughed at his greenery, if I wasn’t feeling like passing out and throwing up at the same time.

“The couch.” I whispered trying to get there without any help, but obviously not succeeding. Matt was luckily there to keep me from falling on my face and he helped me to the couch.

“What can I get you? I brought you some of my mum’s soup.” He said holding up the plastic bag. Instead of saying anything I just reached for him and pulled him down to the couch so we could cuddle. He knew what I wanted and he did what he had to.

We were laying there, he held me to his chest while I just listened to his heart beat rising when I moved and going back to normal when I was settled in. After a while, right when I was on the line of crossing over into dream world, Matt climbed out from underneath me. I let him go and kept my eyes closed while listening to his movement.

He was in the kitchen, probably making something to drink or like he usually does, made himself a sandwich. But I was wrong because soon he was right beside me, lightly poking me to consciousness. Finally he saw I was waking up and patiently waited for me to sit up.

“Eat this.” He said handing me the soup when I was in the right position. I took the soup. I wasn’t really hungry, actually I felt nauseous, but after the first taste I was already feeling a little better. Matt had left the room and when he returned he carried in tea, hot chocolate and snacks before walking to the television and putting on a movie.

After eating the soup and drinking the herbal tea Matt’s mum said to give to me, I could almost breath normally again.

“What are we watching?” I asked and cuddled back up to him while he munched on some gummy worms.

“Endless love.” He whispered looking down so our eyes met. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head, causing my tummy to churn. I so badly wanted to kiss him back and him drawing circles on my arm, his breath on my shoulder, his heartbeat under my hand… that didn’t make it any better. Half the movie all I could think about was kissing Matt. Nothing else surfaced in my mind.

I had a few coughing fits, sneezing more than three times in a row, my eyes were watery and I was feeling like the worst kind off shit. I really didn’t like being this sick. I really didn’t like the fact that Matt was helping while at the same time just made me feel even worse.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” I whispered hoping that he didn’t hear, but he did. Without reply he stood up and went into the kitchen. To be honest I didn’t know what to think of his weird response, but before I could say it was good or bad, he was back holding plastic.

“It’s not really the greatest idea, actually it’s the worst idea ever, but seeing as I feel the same, it’s probably the only way you’ll kiss me.” He said taking his seat next to me. The movie was still on, but we lost interest in it. Matt held the plastic to his lips.

“You’re the best, you know that?” I asked leaning in closer. He mumbled something like, “I know right?” making me smile. Right when our lips were supposed to meet I heard the plastic rustle and felt the familiar feeling of Matt’s lips on mine. I immediately pulled back. I didn’t want to make him sick too.

“Why did you do that?” I accused feeling a mixture of feelings.

“Because not even the thought of being sick makes me want to kiss you less. I don’t care if I’m sick for a week or a month or a year, as long as I know that you’re with me and that I can kiss you.” He said, his breath tickling my face, “So if you wouldn’t mind… Can I please kiss you without any protective wear?” He asked and of course being sick didn’t help me think straight, so I gave in to him.    

vinobaroad  asked:

Now that I found that your ask is open, I can't stop myself... I think I'm not aware of any other mangaka who do the same as you do in here. Answering all of these quiestions... Are you really this cuirious about your fans and readers? Are you searching for instructive opinions? Sometimes I can't decide whether you are enjoying it too much or you are torturing yourself. Maybe both?

I just wanna get more in touch with the English speaking fandom, that’s all. Gotta get some feedback. Also it’s more fun creating when you have kind of a livestream of people’s reaction to it.

anonymous asked:

how big do you think are the chances of Caryl becoming canon; and when would it be likely? I'm a natural pessimist so I kinda expect TPTB to just keep this back and forth up because this 'will they won't they' is probably one of the most discussed topics and great publicity. At the same time, it might get frustrating on the long run? I'd love to hear your opinion, your meta is always so sober and reasonable!

Thank you so much for the compliments! I’m going to include another Anon with the same topic in here.

Hello. I’ve been following you for a bit & really admire & respect your opinions. So I would like to hear what you think about Caryl ever being ‘canon’. Do you think it will be this season or maybe the next?

The question of IF Caryl will go canon for me is 100% YES I think they will. At this point, I feel positive about 3 things:

1) Caryl will eventually go canon.

2) they won’t kill Daryl or Carol off until it’s gone full canon

3) they won’t have them get together off screen and reveal it as having been happening for some time. I believe they will milk this puppy for all it’s worth.

But as for the timing of canon, that I am still unsure of. At the start of this season I was utterly convinced this was it, now I’m not sure at all.

The way I see at, at the start of this season I was standing on a road, and I could see canon at the end of the road. It looked like a straight path, with no obstacles and almost within touching distance. Then an episode airs and I start walking down the road, and suddenly realise I’m on a detour to see the world’s largest ball of yarn. But hey, it’s fun, I enjoy it and at the end I find myself back on the straight road to canon, and I’m closer - I can tell because I can look behind and see where I’ve come from - but canon looks the same distance away. So, I keep walking, there’s another episode and now I’m on a detour to visit the man with the suit made of bees, and again i come back and canon is still just THERE!

What that tortured metaphor is saying is that I think we are moving in the right direction, absolutely - when you see what we’ve had this season you cannot doubt we’ve had a LOT of forward motion in terms of physical expressions and amount of scenes together. However, I am finding it very hard to guess WHEN it will reach it’s zenith because the writers keep surprising me with their detours and “obstacles” to Daryl and Carol coming together.

After their glorious reunion hug, I thought, well what can stand in their way? Daryl won’t risk losing her again, surely? But then we had Carol’s mindset, running away, closed off, and she was in no fit state to feel the love.

So then we get to Consumed, but again Carol’s mindset isn’t right. They deal with a lot of stuff, but Carol doesn’t unburden herself and then boom she’s gone again. 

With Crossed and Coda, I thought we would have it in the bag - because I guess I’ve thought all this time that what it would take to shake them up would be Carol being taken away one too many times, and Daryl not taking the risk of losing her without letting her know what she means to him.

However, i think with that train of thought, although it seems logical to real people, it’s not the Daryl that Norman has been telling us about.  He keeps telling us that Daryl simply doesn’t think like that; that if Daryl is in love, he has NO IDEA that’s what it is. And I’m starting to believe him.

Daryl self-esteem is so low, he doesn’t for one minute think anyone would look at him like that. That’s why when Carol flirts with him he tells her “stop!” cos he thinks she’s taking the piss and teasing him. Of course, she is teasing him, but not the in the way he realises. It doesn’t cross his mind she means what she says. 

Norman’s recent comment that the woman would have to zero in first, I think has finally struck home with me that no matter how far they come, Daryl will never make that first move. He will risk losing Carol through death or separation, because he cannot bear to lose her by scaring her off. And because he doesn’t understand his feelings, he doesn’t know how to verbalise them either.

I mean we the audience, and I’m pretty sure all of Team Family, know how he feels because we can see it, but he doesn’t get it. The question is, does Carol?

I’d have to say she’s pretty switched on, so i think she understands her own feelings very well. I think she understands Daryl’s feelings too. After all, she knows him. I don’t know if she knows how he feels about her, if she thinks he just feels protective and close to her. I don’t know if she’d realise it was more than that. But either way, I think it will take Carol thinking “what the hell!” and making a little move on Daryl before we get anything.

And what will take that to happen? Who knows? Maybe it will take Daryl being separated from Carol (as we might see in the finale) or his life in danger, for her to do something. After all, that’s really only happened once (in season 3) and we saw her flirty, adorable response when he returned. I’d love to see her fretting over Daryl’s survival and HER joy at seeing him return.

Truthfully, I’m hopeful we’ll get another step closer to canon in the finale. I’m nto sure it will be full canon, but i think SOMETHING must come from all we’ve seen this season - be it Carol breaking down and revealing the truth about Lizzie (if it doesn’t happen this season, I think it never will and I’ll be mad mad mad), or Daryl’s safety, or - and this would  fit with a couple of quotes from TPTB - just a moment of lightness, or revelling in the safety of their new space and enjoying it in a new way.

Only time will tell. And time is a right bitch. ;)

Jean's Treasure, Eren's Slave [Part 4/7]

Pairing: Jean/Eren

Rating: M (?)

A/N: Off hiatus! Okay we have ONE chapter of angst here. ONE. It’s all rainbows and butterflies and dancing forest friends and cuddling and kinky ass shit after this. Because you guys are the best.

For jaegerbait (previously pocketsizedtitan) <3

Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 or read it on AO3

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