i think i is lying

Always and Forever

Lol guess who decided to write fanfiction for me and @alexfierrno‘s OCs? Though technically I guess it’s not fanfiction since we made up the characters but that’s not important XDD

So here’s an AU where Katie and Alek have been friends since they were kids and are now in high school and Alek is dealing with her mega crush on Katie


“Alek?”

“Yes Katie?”

“I think…. I think I might be in love.” Alek sat up from where she was lying on her bed, looking up at Katie and searching for clues, but alas her face betrayed nothing.

“What makes you say that?”

“It’s just…. I can’t stop thinking about them and….”

“And…?”

“I don’t know what to do.” Katie’s usually smiling face showed a hint of sadness. It made Alek’s heart wrench in pain.

“Hey. It’ll be okay, Katie,” Alek says, wrapping her arm around her shoulder. Katie found her usual spot in the crook of Alek’s shoulder, leaning into her trustfully. It made Alek’s heart race faster and faster, her face creeping with heat and betraying her feelings. The past two years have been absolute hell as she watched Katie mix and mingle with different groups of people, and become quite the flirt. Sure, she was still the shy and awkward girl Alek knew, but now she was desperate to find some sort of romance in her life, and it suddenly made Alek…. sad. She never understood why, but as soon as Katie went on her first date, the truth suddenly crashed into her like a bullet train.

She was in love. Every time their fingertips brushed Alek longed to grab her hand, twining her rough guitarist fingers through her own. Whenever she smiled Alek felt like the room warmed a hundred degrees and she often found herself daydreaming in class of blonde curls and freckled cheeks. And every moment she spent with her, every sleepover they had and every movie they went to, she found herself falling deeper and deeper, listening to her laugh as if it were music and trying to impress her so that maybe, just maybe, she could be good enough for the sun that was Katie.

“Who is it?” Alek asks, trying to pull her mind from far off fantasies. She already knew that Katie would never think of her…. In that way. They were just friends. Just friends.

“I guess someone I didn’t realize I appreciated so much until now. They’ve…. Always been there for me, no matter what and…. Oh god they’re probably one of the most beautiful human beings on the planet like…. Wow. And I think I trust them more than I’ve trusted anyone before and… I don’t know. I’ll shut up now you probably don’t want to hear this mess,” Katie says, closing her eyes tight as her cheeks glow a bright red. Something about her words stung Alek, making her almost feel…. Jealous. It was not a pleasant feeling.

“Who is it?” Alek says again, “That guy you were flirting with in science class?” Katie wrinkles her nose in disgust.

“Ew. That wasn’t flirting. Plus…. Who said it was a guy?” Katie’s now bright scarlet, but the words are still ringing in her ears. Who said it was a guy?

“Are you….?” Alek whispers, not quite trusting herself to form the words.

“Gay? 120 percent.” Alek’s breath catches, her heart seeming to beat faster and faster. Katie moves away from her.

“Why? Does that bother you?”

“N-no it’s great,” Alek says, smiling. Her mind is moving in a million different directions.

“Oh thank god. I was….. A little worried….” Alek nods, biting her lip. She is very aware of how close Katie is and how if she reached forward just a little….

Alek clears her throat, breaking the spell. “Well… if you like her I think you should ask her out.”


“You do?”

“Of course. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a girlfriend,” Alek says, the words sticking in her throat. Katie nods her head.

“Alright. Okay. I think I’m going to tell her.” Alek smiles, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“That’s the spirit.” Katie nods her head.

“Go on now,” Alek says, smiling as Katie stands up, fidgeting with her sweater nervously. Katie nods her head, then rushes out the door, leaving Alek feeling cold and alone.

After a few minutes, there’s a knock at the door, which startles Alek. “Come in?” she says, wondering who it could be. Probably her mom asking why Katie left so soon. But out of all the possibilities, Alek never imagined it would be Katie herself, looking more flustered than Alek has ever seen her, and she gets easily flustered.

“I… um….” Alek sighs.

“Do you want me to come with?” Katie shakes her head, shakily taking a step forward towards Alek. Her hands are hidden in her sweater and playing with the loose threads. Pink dusts her freckled cheeks, and her hair is a lot messier than when she first left.

“Katie…. are you alright?” Alek asks, closing the distance between them and taking her hands. Katie seems to be at a loss for words, staring at their interlocked hands and not meeting Alek’s eyes. Alek softly puts her fingers on Katie’s chin, tilting it up every so slightly, making her look into her face, her stomach sinking.

“You can tell me anything Katie. What is it?” Her breathing seems to be getting heavy.

“I… I… the… um…” Alek leans closer to her, their chests almost pressing together. Sparks of adrenaline shoot through them and thoughts run wild.

“Alek what if I……” The words die in her throat. Alek wipes a stray lock of hair from her face, letting her fingers linger as Katie seems to melt to the touch.

“Shh. It’ll be alright. Don’t worry.”

“I….” Katie looks into Alek’s eyes, soaking in their chocolaty brown, and it suddenly becomes too much. Pushing herself up on the tips of her toes, she meets Alek’s lips, kissing them softly and slowly. Alek let’s out a startled gasp, but then wraps her arms around Katie’s waist and pulls her closer, deepening the kiss.

Katie was the first to break away, breathing heavily, a small smile quirking at her lips. She put her hands on both sides of Alek’s face and whisperes, hints of joy creeping into her voice, “You’re the one.” A small laugh escapes her lips. “It’s always been you, Alek. Always.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I’ve been so desperate that…. I didn’t see what was right in front of me,” she says, leaning into Alek, who smelled like campfire and forests. It smelled like home.

“I love you, Alek. I always have.” Alek blushes, not seeming to be able to find her voice through the pounding of her heart and the happiness spreading through her body.

“I-I love you too, Katie. Always and forever.”

but thanks for calling

2

It didn’t fit very organically in the flow of the last post, but just as a general note on the “John didn’t really have an affair, his memory was just corrupted by TD 12” front…

When E complimented John on his eyes, he thanked her politely but also did an intentional-looking wedding ring flash.

Not that showing your wedding ring actually prevents an affair, of course, but within the framework of this show it is pretty much the direct opposite of what serial adulterer Jennifer Wilson did in A Study in Pink.

John was the man he wanted to be the whole time, he just doesn’t remember right now. 😭

6

“Maybe more possible than you realise… My real name is Sabine Wren. I was sent in to get you out.” When Commander Sato’s Rebel Cell receives information that a number of imperial cadets wish to defect to the Rebels, Sabine Wren is sent in undercover to rescue them. The pilots – Wedge Antilles and Derek ‘Hobbie’ Klivian – would become two of the Alliance’s greatest assets, fighting in numerous battles against the Empire. — Wedge Antilles’ revised backstory as an Imperial Fighter Pilot from Star Wars Rebels.

4

I wonder why Faith’s cane reminded Sherlock of John from that particular scene. In A Study in Pink, Sherlock had taken off earlier and left John alone there, so he couldn’t see how John had walked down the road leaning on his cane at that time. 

TLD Meta:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Just my analysis

Haise’s Birthday Poem begins with the lines [x]:

“Someone said this:
“Even if you have no memories of being loved, for as long as you have memories of loving someone, you can continue to live.”

…But how is someone who has never been loved be capable of loving someone else?

A child who wasn’t able to receive the minimal love they required at the time they needed it the most will continue to gaze at the illusion of affection and never know how to love until the day they die.

Well, how about me? Can I continue to live?”

Furuta grew up without love, surrounded by the products of Tsuneyoshi’s fucked up harem. The only person who seems to have shown any affection at all for him, as seen in the flashback in this chapter, is Rize. Rize who cared if he died when she ate him. Rize who played with him. Rize, whose fate he was fully aware of. Who he saved, because at some point, or maybe deep down still, he understood that that fate is wrong. She was the only thing he had, and he let her go, for her sake.

In this explanation to Kaneki, he mentions explicitly that as a child, he had these childish ideas of love and marriage in the future for them. Things he gave up for her safety from the men of the main Washuu house.

Even when he’s being crude and creepy, talking about Rize having all of those children for him, he references 101 Dalmatians. A Disney movie. And one with some of the healthiest romances, both between the dogs and the humans.

Even now, he’s looking at a Disney movie where two dogs snuggle each other. Where these two dogs have 15 puppies who they risk their lives to save. And who adopt 84 other puppies who would otherwise be dead. When you think about him as someone who grew up surrounded by who knows how many half-siblings, in the Garden like he did - this is basically him saying he wants a Disney Romance.

Which is not to say that the way he’s speaking isn’t terrible. That the tropes he’s using aren’t horrible and misogynistic. They are. Furuta, as he always has, is falling back on farce and drama, on systems of power that he himself as already explicitly told you he condemns. Furuta switches between honest and lying, between truth and exaggeration, between real emotion and fake dramatic flare over and over.

He speaks in this weird mix between a cynical jaded, crude adult, and a desperate, sad, idealistic, stubborn child. Like with his big speech to Eto about V in 66, I think this chapter he is mixing truth and fiction. Sometimes strategically, sometimes just because.

@linkspooky​ pointed out to me that it almost seems that the more honest he’s being, the less of his face is shown. Times when he’s really approaching sincerity and seriousness, he’s shown from the side.

Where as most of the time, he’s hidden under his flare and his masks and his drama.

Furuta, for all his fake emotion, is clearly uncomfortable with the real thing. Uncomfortable when people make him feel things and uncomfortable expressing emotion. Uncomfortable and unskilled and really parsing it.

Instead, he falls back on theatre and performance and lies.

When he says he couldn’t bare the thought of her having a kid after being free for so long… was he talking (just) about jealousy, or was he talking about the fact that the CCG, and thus V, was gaining on her - had almost captured her in the 6th ward and gotten Shachi in the struggle, and was well on their way to tracking her down again? Was he talking about not wanting her to be free, or about after all that time, still not being able to accept the idea of her being recaptured by V and used by the Washuu men like that.

He used her too, of course - and brutally. I think he was mad at her not only for wasting the freedom he helped her win, for almost getting caught again - but also because he still cares. And he doesn’t want to still care about her. So he punished her for his own feelings. Furuta is… not a fan of his own feelings. And he’s childish.

Its not an excuse for what he did to her, but I do think he acted when he did, if not the way he did, because if he hadn’t, there was a very real chance she’d have returned to her old fate. And that, he could not abide. Even now.

What he did, to Rize, in taking her power and undergoing that surgery himself, in killing off all the Washuu, taking leadership of the CCG - he gives multiple reasons for it even in this one conversation with Kaneki. On the one hand, in his proposal to Kaneki, he sets up a clear role for himself - as a villain to unite ghouls and humans against (Kaneki’s team, rather than the CCG and Clowns in this case) and introduces it as a big production, culminating in his own, rather than Kaneki’s death - ever suicidal as he is.

But explicitly, he also claims that people don’t need reasons for what they do. He also claims that he is doing what he wants to do, and that he is doing what he wanted to do as a child.

I think all of these have a grain of truth to them. He talks in such a way that mixes narratives, mixes truth and fiction, and sometimes just because its easier to talk with (half)fake emotion than real ones.

I think that Furuta, the nearly 6 year old child wants to destroy the toxic terrible “family” that used and abused him, and create in its place a 101 Dalmations style family, with him and Rize as Pongo and Perdita. A big loving, new Washuu family. This part of Furuta doesn’t care about ghouls or humans or Kaneki Ken or Eto Yoshimura or any of that at all.

But Furuta is also an adult, and became one probably much too quickly, if he knew what awaited Rize and helped her escape because if it. And the Adult Furuta knows he can’t have any of that. That Rize forgot about him and doesn’t love him back and that he burned that bridge by dropping those beams. His children with her are going to be via Kanou. Anything new will be born from death and fire and war. Adult Furuta has plans. Adult Furuta wants.…something… out of all of this. Some grand finale.

Part of Furuta is still that child - still wants Rize to come back to him and love him and play with him (and maybe kill him). Wants a big happy Disney ending for them. But he also knows he can never really have that. He’s known that he could never have that, because of how he was born. That’s the irony of that line, about the life he has and how he might as well. Because he was born to NEVER get what he wanted, ever. (And yet - and yet he fights back - viciously and endlessly and savagely, despite being born only to serve.) Because he has grown up now, and he’s done terrible things, and he knows that that happiness is impossible. But he’s also 6 years old and desperate and lonely.

I personally have thought for a long time that Rize is being set up as the one who will kill Furuta. I just hope (though I don’t necessarily expect) that they will get a chance to talk before it happens, or when he’s dying, or something. A chance for him to thank her for finally killing him, after all this time. A chance for him to say sorry, or not to - to say he’s glad he did it if it ended there, with him dying in her arms.

I still don’t think Furuta thinks any way about women, in general, though I understand why people see this pattern. It’s certainly a power structure highlighted by his character, either way. I think he probably has a good deal of the background misogyny of the culture and of the Washuu clan in his upbringing, but he also has a deep seeded hatred for everything about that upbringing. His understanding of things is so twisted and bent around this terrible place he was raised in, and the world he was forced to live in, that its honestly a miracle he’s still fighting for something different.

But Furuta sees every structure as a farce, as a mask, as a tool, rather than a truth. And he plays with these tropes of misogyny and discards them just as quickly. He’s making himself out to be a villain, to be crude, to be cruel. And it’s no excuse for his actions - for the very real fate Rize suffered at his hands. But he deals with Matsumae as a failed knight and a hypocrite, not as a woman. He plays with misogyny and its masks and its power system when he’s mock-flirting with Eto, but the next second he throws it away. He has no regard for masculinity or its virtues. Its a game to him. And that is a nasty and dangerous way to look at a very serious thing. Which is a great metaphor for Furuta who sees farce in everything. And is setting up a grand theater with all of Tokyo as its stage, possibly to write his own death into the final act.

“When I unveil this, won’t you come play with me?” He knows what Kaneki wants. He knows who Kaneki will save. He knows who Kaneki will kill. He still wants to die, and he seems to like the idea of dying to make things better, in a sense. And still, he’s speaking like a child. Come play, Kaneki. 

“Doesn’t it make you want to die?
If you die, you can get cured you know. (This is true.)



So if you were planning on giving me something.
In this year, I want four times more of that love or hate.



PS: (Laugh, it’s fun!)” [x]

snoke: ok general I just need you to get along with your new co-commander 

hux:

8

Marvel POC Week : Day 1: Favorite Female POC » Cindy Moon/Silk

Imagine Emma and Regina get back from the wish realm and Emma is so used to having Regina with her all the time that it feels weird to not have that. She’s used to spending her days with Regina, and them comforting each other when they miss home, and sleeping next to her in caves they’ve been hiding in (and not talking about the fact that they often wake up cuddling or holding hands).

And Emma’s just sad living apart from Regina and she can’t sleep and one night she finds herself in Regina’s vault and she stumbles across snake!EQ tucked away in a cage down there and whenever she’s lonely or can’t sleep she goes and sleeps next to snake!EQ and talks to her and it sort of feel like she’s back in the wish realm with Regina.

And when Regina and the EQ finally become one person again, Regina has gets all of the EQ’s memories and remembers being lonely in a cage in the vault until Emma started visiting and goes to Emma immediately because she’d missed her too.

As much as I ship it too, I feel like platonic heartrate is so underrated, I mean it makes such a great brotp

  • Kim and Alix having a friendly rivalry
  • stupid reckless challenges like skating races at 3am behind a McDonalds
  • everyone else being lowkey scared of them because Kim is tall and Alix is terrifying
  • them fighting akuma villains together like the idiots they are even though they have no superpowers so probably they’re gonna die
  • if Alix hears you talking bad about Kim behind his back she will fight you because only she’s allowed to do that
  • in a crowd of tols, Kim lifting up his smol friend so she can see stuff
  • ALIX BEING KIM’S WINGGIRL AND SETTING HIM UP WITH MAX
👶🏻 21 👶🏻
  • ALTERNATIVE TITLE: THE ONE WITH THE BLUE SCARF
  • : :
  • *outside Speedy's*
  • Molly: *approaching Mary* What's going on?
  • Mary: *grins* I found the father of your baby.
  • Molly: *wide-eyed* What? How...how do you even know who the father is?
  • Mary: *digging in her purse* I believe this belongs to the father of your baby *removes the scarf*
  • Molly: *groans* Oh God...he’s in there right now?
  • Mary: Yup.
  • Molly: *sighs* Let's get this over with.
  • Molly & Mary: *enter Speedy's*
  • Tom: *waving* Hi, Molls.
  • Molly: ...
  • Tom: *looking between them* So, what’s up?
  • Mary: *nudging her forwards* Well, Molly has something that she wants to tell you *gestures the scarf* while we're on the subject, I believe that this is your scarf.
  • Tom: No... *unzips his coat* this is my scarf.
  • Mary: ...
  • Mary: *looks at the scarf in her hand* Ah. Could I get anyone a coffee or...poison? No? Just for me? Okay *hurries off*
  • Tom: *concerned* What’s going on?
  • Molly: *sits opposite him* Nothing. Mary just... sort of made a mistake.
  • Tom: *smiles* I’m pleased Mary called. I know we broke up because you thought we weren't compatible. I was thinking...does that matter?
  • Molly: *hesitates* Tom...
  • Tom: We were perfect together *holds her hand*
  • Molly: I’m pregnant.
  • Tom: Oh. *drops her hand*
  • Tom: ...
  • Molly: ...
  • Molly: You can go.
  • Tom: Thank you *runs off*
  • LATER
  • *John & Mary's*
  • Sherlock: *staring at the baby*
  • John & Mary: *enter the flat*
  • Mary: *smiles* Hi. How was she?
  • Sherlock: *shrugs* Fine.
  • John: *lifts his daughter* There's my girl. Were you good for your Uncle?
  • Sherlock: *sighs*
  • Mary: *smirks* You love her really. You're a natural.
  • Sherlock: *rolls his eyes* I'm going to have to get used to it.
  • John: *nods* Yes, you are.
  • Sherlock: *winds the scarf around his neck; smiles a little*
  • Mary: *looks up; points* That's your scarf?
  • Sherlock: *frowns* Yeeeeeees.
  • Mary: ...
  • Sherlock: *shrugs on his coat* Goodnight *leaves*
  • Mary: *squeals with happiness*