i think i hate my life

The problem with writing historical AUs about BBC Sherlock is that wHeN THE FUCK WOULD YOU FIND NORMAL THE NAME “SHERLOCK”. WHEN.

You know what??? I’m done with having to hate my body just because someone doesn’t like it. I know I’m beautiful and other people think so too. I’m sick of being torn down right when I’m feeling comfortable in my own skin!

All of my life I hated how I looked… my voice (too deep), my body (too skinny etc), my face, etc etc. I always wanted to be someone I wasn’t just so my family and strangers could be happy with it. People I know to this day still claim that I hate my body and that when I was skinny I looked great and “how could you ever hate being thin???? U looked good!!.”

Time and time again I say that I hated it and tried to conform to something. Like why do I have to beg people to believe me? Why do I have to beg people to believe that I’m healthy? (I was told that I’m gonna end up struggling health wise eventually and that I’m destroying myself) Or that my boyfriend finds me attractive? (I was told that if I was a certain weight then I’d have less and less chances of someone loving me)

And you know that shit really hurt and I think about it a lot.

BUT WHY DO I HAVE TO CONVINCE YOU THAT IM HAPPY? I shouldn’t have to do this. I love who I am as a person!!! I love my weight!! I love my face!! And BOY, I will not let anyone convince me otherwise! So from now on I’ll try and move past it and do what I want. It makes me sad when people I know or even strangers struggle with body image issues/eating disorders. People should be happy with who they are because everyone is beautiful and unique in their own way!! 💖 I’m not saying that just to say it. It’s true.

I’m done ranting for now but now you all know how I’m feeling. Thanks for listening. 🐱💕🌸

i fucking hate it when people say that people who have had an abortion are heartless and cruel
you really think it’s easy for someone to go through something like that? i was pressured to go through with mine. i cried my eyes out for weeks straight. it was excruciating, both physically and mentally. you know what? maybe it was for the best. i wasn’t mentally or financially stable, and my child would of had an AWFUL life. im still not stable.
almost two years later and i still have nightmares. i still cry into my pillow thinking about what a beautiful boy/girl that i would of had. it still hurts seeing people with babies because of the flashbacks I get from that awful experience.
it absolutely kills me to see people call women who have had to go through such an experience disgusting. you have NO idea how hard it is. NO FUCKING IDEA.
don’t you fucking dare tell me that I’m heartless for having an abortion. fuck pro lifers.

anonymous asked:

I am so pissed. Of all people to make Octavia realize her emotions, it was illian. Not her BROTHER WHO HAS RAISED HER SINCE THE DAY SHE WAS BORN. I'm so upset

Dude. If you’re furious at your brother for things he both has and has not done, then why do you think your brother would be the one to make you realize what an ass you’ve been and how unfairly you’re treating him?

He wouldn’t. Your anger is focused on HIM.

You have to be able to get some perspective from the outside, from someone not involved, maybe, because you’re all wrapped up in your internal perspective.

Your desire for Bellamy to be Octavia’s salvation from her anger at him is unrealistic and doesn’t make any sense. 

Bellamy-I’m sorry, I tried to stop it but you drugged me and now you’re  transferring your own self hate onto me because i’m an easy target.
Octavia-Oh shit, U right. Come here let’s hug big bro I love you. 

Do you even have a sibling?

Just some thoughts...

I’m not saying any of y’all need to forgive Octavia, but keep in mind that she legit went out into the black rain to KILL HERSELF. Just… just keep that in mind. She hates herself enough to kill herself. 

Yes, her abuse was NOT OKAY and it will NEVER BE OKAY, but this is something that a lot of people with mental illnesses do. Again, I’m not justifying her actions but I think a lot of you are missing a key element of Octavia’s story. 

Mental illness can cloud the mind. Yes, in the end, we all have choices. We can choose to be an abuser or not. We can choose to get better or not. But keep in mind that a big reason Octavia did the things she did was because she hated herself.

 I see A LOT of people in my life (and on here for that matter) who hate on others to avoid dealing with their own self-hatred so it’s something we shouldn’t let fandom filter out our discussions on. If the fiction applies to life, maybe, just maybe, it’s worth talking about. 

“Just stop watching the anime if you don’t like it”“ Move on”

I’ve seen this way to often so allow me to say something. I’m a naruto fan since before I knew what i actually liked or hated. Naruto has been the only constant in my life , I don’t care if I’m young so people won’t believe me or anything . I’ve grown up without my family , never having a father and a mother. My first memory of my mother was when I chased a car thinking I saw her abbandoning me . I’v been a victim of bullism before I even knew what it was. I started drawing because I couldn’t afford buying the coloring books of anime or other cildren’s gadget.God only knows how many years I’ve spent crying the nights with my first and only naruto manga next to me or under my pillow( this after I actually could buy one). In such a problematic life I had Naruto has always been the only thingtaht was able to make me happy from the bottom of my hear. The character’s pain was my pain .

The first time I’ve cried out of happiness was when sasusaku become canon. My first and only otp I’‘ll ever have.

Naruto has been alwas the first and last thing I think of before and going to bed. So please tell me how I’m supposed to move on? If you know a way to do so just tell me

The characters may be fictional but the feels are real

This is personal so I might actually delete it later . It’s up to you to read it or not

Pain in the Ovaries (SR)

*You’re dying bc of period that’s all i need to say:’) bc high key me atm*

also i feel like this is an exact representation of how i am on my period. i’m either super lovey or i hate everyone there is like no in between, just me?

Warnings: None unless you are sensitive to the female reproductive system or are sensitive to mentions of the period life. (not edited and short)

your pov:

Well yes, it came once a month. The blood bath. The excruciating pain in the back, boobs, stomach, head, and ovaries. It’s were times like these you think ‘I wish I had gotten pregnant.’ Or this one, ‘I wish I could just rip out my uterus.’ The second one was a glorious thought as the pain started to rise in my back. The burning sensation in my sides killed me. “I want to die.” I commented calmly looking above the cubical to see Spencer. He tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows. “Why?” He questioned. “Are you kidding me right now. We’ve been living together for what? Two years now and you still don’t know the signs of my period?” I asked annoyed at the fact I has to explain the unwanted nuisance. He winced and gave me an apologizing look. “I’m sorry love, I forgot.” He said biting his lip. “Spencer I just want to go home. I don’t feel good.” I said pouting to him. “I know doll but we must work sadly. I have some midol that I packed in my bag for you. I knew you’d most likely not think about it since you’re mind is on overload mode.” He said reaching down into his messenger bag, fetching the period crack. “Oh you love me.” I said placing my hand over my heart. “I’m going to go get coffee.” I said standing up taking the pills with me. Spencer followed behind me swiftly taking the cup I poured for himself. “Oh no you don’t doll. Caffeine makes cramps worse.” I groaned already knowing the fact, “Let me live.” I said throwing a mini temper tantrum. “Sweetie I know you want it but it’ll make you feel worse. Would you rather have no cramps or killer cramps?” He asked already tired of my mood swings. “Everything I want is bad for me.” I told him groaning. I placed my head on his shoulder rubbing my temples softly. “Head hurt?” He asked mumbling into my hair. I sighed and nodded feeling his hands rub up and down my back. “I need to use the bathroom before I bleed through.” I said backing away from him. He nodded his head sympathetically, “I’ll meet you in the round table room.” He told me kissing my temple as he guided me to the bathroom. I gave him a soft smile and kissed his cheek. “Thanks Spence.” 

As the day lagged on my period symptoms slowly came back to me. I sighed pushing my head into my hands feeling the fatigue. I closed my eyes and tried to subside the feelings of my insides killing me. I felt a hand softly run over my back sending pleasure to my senses. “We can go home love.” Spencer said whispering in my ear. I smiled in relief. Finally I could go home and not wear anything but a huge t-shirt and underwear. No restricting bras, no restricting pants. Sounds like heaven. 

Spencer and I piled into the car bucking ourselves. “When we get home I’ll order us some chinese and we can cuddle on the couch, how does that sound?” He asked placing his hand over mine. I smiled and felt the small little strings pull at my heart. “That sounds wonderful baby, I’d love that.” I told him reaching up to the corner of his mouth pressing a soft kiss as he smiled. “I love your smile.” I said poking his cheek. He cut his eyes towards me and shook his head. “Ah your lovey stage.” He said laughing softly. “Hey it’s not my fault.” I said raising my hands in defense. 

“Come on, get your cute firm butt out of the car and order me chinese.” I said smiling widely as we pulled up to our house. He shook his head and smiled. “You’re too much.” I giggled and shrugged my shoulders. “I have hormones, not my fault… again.” I said pushing myself into my tippie-toes kissing his lips. “Okay doll, you go change and I’ll order the food.” I walked excitedly to the front door and pulled out my key. “Don’t have to tell me twice.” I said flinging open the door. I waddled my way up the stairs almost feeling the overflow. I walked quickly to the bathroom doing my business cleaning up before I pulled on a huge t-shirt. I mosied my way back downstairs to where my beloved Spencer was. I smiled seeing him relax back into the couch. I shuffled my way in front of him sitting down in his lap. His hands came over around my hips pulling me towards him more. He slowly started to knead my hips and sides placing his chin at the junction on my neck. “I love when you do this.” I commented relaxing back into him. “Your hands are magic.” He laughed and stopped his movements, handing me the remote to the tv. “Turn it on whatever you want love.” He told me resting back onto the back of the couch. I excitedly pushed the buttons putting on the Disney classic, Beauty and the Beast. “I love this movie.” I said snuggling into his chest. He started to rub my arm and kissed the top of my head. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” 


This is from The Antigay Agenda: Orthodox Vision and the Christian Right (1998) by Didi Herman. 

CT stands for Christianity Today. 

I heard all my life that “in 1963 they took God out of schools!” and it was always framed as the evil, liberal, hippie, God-hating non-Christians, always. Our enemies had done this. The enemies of God had done this. The sexual revolution had done this. The “do your own thing generation” had done this.

I think one of the ways that Protestant Christianity has re-written history is that it has papered over how much it despised Catholicism. By the time I was growing up, I was not taught to despise Catholicism as much as Protestantism had in the past, I was just taught to see a difference between Catholic and Christian, because we didn’t think the two overlapped. But even then, once I got already, we were already losing that distinction as well.

I don’t think I will ever be able to trust conservative, fundamentalist, Evangelical, and all the other flavors of Christianity that overlap on itself into a giant mess of beliefs, because they keep rewriting history and then claiming it was always that way.

anonymous asked:

About The Fall Guy. Am I pathetic?, really? You´ve got a toxic sense about relationships, self-respect, and choices… but I´m pathetic. Ok. I hope you never have a son who “choose” ruining his life for a woman who doesn´t even talk to him. If you want to think my comment is hateful, feel free. Maybe it´s easier thay way. Bye.

yeah you’re pathetic lmao

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.