i think i had one person recognize me

what i miss most is how you loved me. but what i didn’t know was how you loved me had so much to do with the person i was. it was a reflection of everything i gave you. coming back to me. how did i not see that. how. did i sit here soaking in the idea that no one else would love me that way. when it was i that taught you. when it was i that showed you how to fill. the way i needed to be filled. how cruel i was to myself. giving you credit for my warmth simply because you had felt it. thinking it was you who gave me strength. wit. beauty. simply because you recognized it. as if i was already not these things before i met you. as if i did not remain all these things after you left.
—  Rupi Kaur (page 138: milk and honey)

We are playing 3.5 for quite some time. At some point GM gave us a riddle: we had statues with various inscription and more than enough holy icons of different gods. Point is we had to place icons to it’s statue. Me, morning lord of lathander, was the only person that knew anything about religion so I proceed to identify which icon represents each god.

Me (with icon of sun in the moring, also ooc): do i have to roll for that?

GM: dunno, do you?

Me (ooc): hell better be sure

Me: *rolls nat 1*

*Everyone laughing*

Me: Yep. I think this one might be some god of death, myrkull maybe i dunno

The elite of the elite and devoted man in clergy failed to recognize the most iconic icon of his own church.


The important thing for me was to turn the focus back on myself. I think I was really hesitant to not pour all of my energy into the personal side of my life. Now I’m recognizing that it doesn’t have to be one or the other. I think immediately after [my divorce], it was important for me to focus on myself and do what made me happy. Exercise. Be around friends. Just continue living life like I had been and recognizing that you’re not an anomaly. There are lots and lots of people who are in the same situation. And things get easier as time goes on.


Genre: fluff, domestic fluff, family fluff, lil bit ‘o parent!phan

Words: 3.0k

Relationship status: married

Warnings: none

Summary: Daniel Howell just uploaded a video: “SURPRISING AMAZINGPHIL”

A/N: Okay, this probably isn’t exactly what the request was asking for, but I think it’s kinda cute :)

Also, this is written in an experimental style, so…it’s a bit different then what you’re probably used to reading from me :)

Keep reading

Look Like Her/Peter Pan Smut

Originally posted by my-fxxfics

Most of these are taken from my Wattpad account! (Twtrash01)

Send me requests for the following Fandoms: Teenwolf, Vampire Diaries, Dolantwins, OUAT(Peter Pan, Robbie Kay, Supernatural, Suicide Squad, The 100. Basically I’ll write for any fandom. I’ll write non-smut as well. Be specific in what you want! *I DON’T OWN ANY GIFS*

Ayoo It’s my birthday🎉 Here’s some fluffy, angsty, Smut👌🏼💗

Keep reading

B.A.P Youngjae - Debut Story

In his first year of high school, Youngjae began going to a lot of auditions.
Many entertainment companies that one can recognize just by the name recognized Youngjae’s talents and had recruited him, and even received an offer from a male idol group who is promoting actively today.
However, after much dilemma, Youngjae entered JYP Entertainment as a trainee and officially prepared for a debut, his age being 17 at the time.

“I joined as a JYP trainee in the end of my first year in high school and spent a year since then just training.
However, due to personal reasons, I left JYP and I think the mindset of wanting to do music became stronger. In putting behind me everyone’s disappointment, I made this decision.”

With having time to relax his body and heart for a while, a person he knew introduced him to his current company, TS Entertainment.

“There were a lot groups that were supposed to make a debut in TS Entertainment at the time. Of course, I knew Yongguk hyung was promoting at the time too and I auditioned during my time off, receiving a phone call from TS Entertainment soon afterwards.

My mother was against me becoming a trainee for this company but as time passed by, she began to recommend me to take the offer in seeing the family-oriented atmosphere that drew her in (laughs).”

However, Youngjae signing with the company and becoming a member of B.A.P tied back down to leader Bang Yongguk’s unknown strength playing a big role of it all.

“When I came here, I saw Yongguk hyung practicing and he was so good. I think I worked harder with the thought of, “If I’m in a team with that hyung, I feel like I can achieve something”.”

anonymous asked:

My friend just told me that he thinks he's transgender and I want to support him but I'm not sure how because I've never dealt with this kind of thing first hand before, do you have any advice?

I found the following article had some good tips, I’m going to past the article in here.

SOURCE: http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/how-to-be-ally-to-trans-friend/

1. Find an Appropriate Space to Process Your Thoughts and Feels

Holy guacamole! Transgender?

Maybe it’s been a long time coming, or maybe you’re completely shocked. You might be scared, or uncertain, or downright confused. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s understandable that you have some processing to do.

Because while your friend has had years to come to this realization, you haven’t had much time to figure it all out.

That’s totally okay! Take some time, some space, and unpack those thoughts and feels.

However, the important thing to know is this: It is not your friend’s responsibility to help you sort out your feelings.

That is, while it’s perfectly understandable that you might be struggling with your friend’s transition, it’s not fair to unload that weight onto your friend.

Your friend already has a lot on their plate. A transition is a big step! And chances are, they’ve come out to a lot of people at once. They are likely not in a position to guide each individual person through the complicated feelings that they have about this transition.

Nor should they – during such an emotional time, it could be hurtful (and even traumatic!) to try to ease people into acceptance.

Your friend has asked for your support during a really challenging life event. It’s not an appropriate time to demand that they shoulder your emotional baggage when they are already carrying such an enormous weight!

Instead, seek out a support group, whether it’s online or offline. Look to other friends that you trust to help you process your feelings. Journal about what you might be thinking. Seek a creative or physical outlet that lets you release some of the stress you might be feeling.

This allows you to be in a better place to support your friend and ensures that you won’t be triggering your friend by saying something unintentionally hurtful as you try to process.

2. Do Your Homework

I’m going to sound like a broken record by now, because this is far and away the most frequent advice I give to allies of trans folks.

But it’s true! You gotta do your homework!

The Internet is a magical place, and there’s an enormous wealth of information out there on the transgender community. And if you’re looking to support your friend, it’s a great idea to do a little bit of research.

This takes your friend off the hot seat instead of forcing them to painstakingly educate you (and many others) on every little aspect of their experience.

This article is a great place to start, but there are many other places to go from here! GLAAD has an abundance of friendly resources to get you started on the basics. You can always poke around the transgender tag or non-binary tag here at Everyday Feminism, too.

And depending on how your friend identifies (maybe they’re neutrois, non-binary, or genderqueer!), there are so many fantastic blogs written by trans folks where you can get direct insight into the experience of being trans.

If you’re overwhelmed by the reading, you can always hop over to YouTube and let Ash Hardell (and fantastic special guests!) school you on everything gender, or check out Dr. Doe at Sexplanations as she chats about the social construction of gender in sailor attire (no, seriously, she’s dressed like a sailor).

You’ll have the benefit of deepening your knowledge of gender (how cool!), and your friend will appreciate that you took the time to learn.

3. Respect and Validate Their Identity

The worst thing you can do for your friend is invalidate their identity. When your friend comes out as transgender, it’s not your place to greet them with disbelief, amusement, contradiction, or a refusal to recognize their gender.

Regardless of how you perceived them in the past, it’s your responsibility to believe your friend when they come out – and affirm their sense of self.

For example, when I came out, a number of people told me they were having a difficult time believing me because I had worn dresses in the past and had seemed to enjoy femininity. They suggested that I was confused and should take more time to think about it.

When a trans person comes out to you, it isn’t your place to tell them how they should or shouldn’t identify. No one can know someone’s gender except for the person themselves. If they say they are non-binary, they are. If they say they are a woman, they are. If they say they are a man, guess what? They are.

This probably goes without saying, but support means using the name they have asked to be called, using the pronouns that they have requested, and tuning in when they share their experiences – without judgment, without contradiction, and without accusation.

Remember that appearances can’t tell you what someone’s gender is. Gender is not something you can necessarily see, although we sometimes choose to express our gender in a particular way. Gender is not a haircut, a way of dressing, a set of body parts, or a set of behaviors. Gender is a sense of self, an identity that is only for us to declare.

So please, don’t say things like “But are you really?” or “I don’t believe that” or “Those pronouns are too complicated.”

If you are having a hard time accepting someone as transgender, give yourself the space and time you need to get to a place where you can better support this person before attempting to give support.

4. Don’t Just Talk the Talk

Sometimes being supportive means showing the fuck up.

Being an ally is about more than just vocalizing your support. One really excellent and helpful way to show that you’re standing by your friend is to offer tangible, concrete support to make their transition a little bit easier and make our lives as trans people a little bit safer.

Do they have a doctor’s appointment or a surgery consultation? Offer to drive or hang out in the waiting room. Are they going to court to legally change their name? Bring them flowers and accompany them. Are they shopping for new clothes? Ask to tag along.

If your friend is using a public restroom but they’re afraid for their safety, offer to go with them. If they’re fearful of using public transportation, offer to ride with them or give them a ride. If they need to get home after a fun night out, offer to call them a reputable cab or walk them home. Because while the victims are never at fault, the reality is that transgender people are statistically more likely to be the victims of violence and assault.

And if your friend is experiencing body dysphoria, I’ve written an entire article on steps you can take to support them.

And of course, ask your friend if there’s anything you can do. Your friend may have something in mind that they won’t ask for unless prompted.

We are the experts on our own experience, so it’s best to check in with us before assuming our needs.

5. Be an Ally and Advocate (Without Overstepping)

Support can be personal, of course, and standing by your friend through their transition is a valuable and wonderful thing.

But in today’s world, being transgender is sadly not just a personal struggle. Often times, it’s political. There are difficult battles each and every day being fought over our right to exist, our right to be recognized, and our right to be safe.

Being a supportive friend can also mean being an ally – because creating change is one of the best ways to make your friend’s transition safer, easier, and more empowering.

“Whoa,” you might say. “That sounds serious. But where do I even start?”

Well, here’s a list of 52 things you can do for transgender equality. Yes, 52; so don’t tell me there’s nothing to be done! You can do one thing per week for a year, damn it.

Ultimately it means making sure you are politically engaged and aware when there are issues at stake for the trans community (hint: this means always).

It can be as simple as voting “yes” on local ordinances that will support the trans community or calling someone in when they say something problematic about trans people.

It can mean being involved at your local LGBTQIA+ center and canvassing for a trans cause or donating to a fantastic trans organization.

But it also means stepping out of the spotlight and allowing trans people to lead and tell their own stories.

You should amplify the voices of trans people – sharing their work, inviting them to conferences and universities, getting them involved wherever possible – rather than speaking over them.

There’s always more work to be done. And if you’re looking to support your friend who is trans, it’s time to make this world a better place for all trans people.

6. Learn to Take Criticism and Know How to Apologize

Even if you follow every bit of advice in this article, you will still make mistakes. And I want to remind you that making mistakes is okay, as long as you’re willing to receive criticism and apologize sincerely.

Remember that regardless of your intention, your impact is still important. You may not have meant to spill coffee on my shirt, but I imagine that if you did, you would still apologize and you would still try to help me clean things up. Because, you know, I’m assuming you’re a nice person.

You may mix up your friend’s pronouns by accident. You may say something insensitive, only to realize this later on. Even I, as a trans person, make mistakes with other trans people from time to time. We’re all learning. Every single one of us!

Just recently, a thoughtful friend and fellow Everyday Feminism writer, Adrian, explained to me that a word I was using was actually extremely harmful to trans women. Instead of getting all prickly and defensive about it, I had to remind myself that this was a great opportunity to do some growing and avoid hurting others in the future.

Even I make mistakes! What’s most important is to learn from those mistakes.

So how do you apologize?

When you misgender someone, it’s best to offer a quick apology, a correction, and let the conversation move forward. Nothing is more awkward than a person spending five minutes apologizing for misgendering you and completely redirecting the conversation. I shouldn’t feel like I have to console or comfort you after you’ve made a mistake, right?

When there’s a bigger hiccup – maybe you’ve said something offensive without realizing it – it’s good to know how to give a sincere apology. There’s an amazing video that breaks this down that is basically required viewing for anyone who aspires to be a decent human.

As the brilliant Franchesca Ramsey says in her video, “A real genuine apology is made up of two parts: the first part is you take responsibility for what you’ve done, and then the second part is you make a commitment to change the behavior.”

If you’ve said something that is hurtful to your friend, an apology can be the difference between a rift in your relationship and an opportunity for growth. Never underestimate the power of a sincere apology.



Son of a Patriotic Biscuit (Part 5)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 1689

Warnings: None (this is literally just fluff, guys)

A/N: It’s hard to believe that there’s only one more part! You guys have been awesome, and I am so very appreciative of the reception this story has had! It’s not to late to be added to the tag list for the final part if you want, just let me know. As always, feedback is appreciated. Gif is not mine.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Your name: submit What is this?

This time when I woke, the room was a bright white that burned into my eyeballs, even though my eyes were still closed. All the same, it was much more comforting than the last time I’d fallen from consciousness. Especially seeing as I hadn’t expected to wake up at all. Gradually, I became more aware of my surroundings, but this also brought with it the pain from my numerous injuries, though I was definitely on heavy pain medication.

With a small groan, I forced my eyes to open and noticed Steve sitting by the side of the bed, wearing a  blue t-shirt and sweats. His hands held my right one and his face was pressed against the bed as he slept. The noise I made must’ve woken him up, for his blue eyes opened groggily. When he realized I was looking back at him, he shot bolt upright, creases from the sheets crisscrossing the side of his face.

“What were you thinking?” Of all the possible greetings, that was one that I was not expecting.

“Well hello to you too,” I replied tiredly and a bit snappishly, my voice rough from disuse.

“I expressly told you to stay here!” Well, now I knew where I was. “I knew you weren’t ready for a mission, but did you listen to me? No. You didn’t. And as a result, you were tortured for three weeks,” That answered how long I’d been missing, “and now you’re laying in that bed, and have been for the past two days. None of us were sure when or even IF you were going to wake up.” Throughout his little scolding, I stared at him indifferently, definitely high on whatever medication they had me on,  raising an eyebrow at his excessive reaction

“You are a sad, strange little man,” was all I could think of, pain medication muddling my brain.

“That’s all YOU CAN SAY?” Apparently, I had said the wrong thing, as his loud, angry tone clearly conveyed. “You almost DIED, and all you can do is INSULT me? The person who saved your LIFE?” He probably said more, but I passed out again at that point, half amused that he hadn’t recognized Toy Story.

When I woke up, for good this time, the super soldier was still the one sitting beside me. He was asleep again, and I could tell from the window that it was the middle of the night. Since he wasn’t holding onto my hand this time, I took the opportunity to run my fingers through his hair - something I had dreamed of doing since my crush on him formed. It was just as soft as I had imagined, so I kept carding through it, smoothing the rumpled look that told me how tired he was.

Several minutes later, I was almost falling into asleep when Steve stirred. I gave him a small smile as my hand fell away from his hair. Sitting up more, he leaned forward and settled his face in his hands for a moment before looking back up at me.

“Hey. It’s good to see your eyes again.”

“There, see? That’s the greeting I was expecting when I first woke up.” I allowed my grin to spread wider across my face. An answering one slowly formed on Steve’s, and I was immensely grateful at being spared another lecture.

“Yeah… I guess I just… You really had me scared, doll.” He rubbed the back of his neck either nervously or sheepishly. Possibly a combination of both.

“I would’ve thought you’d be thinking more along the lines of ‘good riddance,’” I raised an eyebrow at him. “After all, you seem to believe that I’m particularly useless.” If I didn’t know better, I would have said that his shoulders slumped a little.

“You really think I would think that?” The question just slipped out of his mouth, sounding the tiniest bit sad.

“I mean, you’re always saying that I’m not ready…” I shrugged helplessly, not really knowing what else I could say. I mean, there had been the little moment right before I got myself caught, but I didn’t remember enough detail to recall if it changed anything. What little I could only served to strengthen the idea that he thought I needed looking out for and couldn’t handle it myself.

“You’re anything but useless, and I’m sorry I’ve ever made you feel like that… I just didn’t want you getting hurt. Now look how that turned out.” I tried to ignore my sinking heart - it sounded more like care for a sibling than anything else. I would just have to push my crush away like the impossible dream it was, but there was one question I had to ask first.

“You were going to say something then, before we split up in the warehouse… Mind me asking what it was?” I had to take a breath and steel myself for the answer, not entirely sure I would like it.

“You mean when you were tricking me into leaving you behind?” He sounded more amused than reproachful.

“That’s the one.”

“I was just… going to tell you that… that I… just that I’ve been… in love with you for a while now… and that I needed you to make it out of there.” His eyes were fixated on the floor, even as I melted at his answer, letting out a relieved sigh.

“Fricken fracken, mother truckin’, son of a biscuit eating, little old timing grandpa,” I paused before continuing under my breath, “with the body of a twenty-year-old.” That was apparently all I needed to draw his gaze up to mine, though there was a sadness there. I realized he thought that I was rejecting him. “Steve, I needed you to make it out of there. I knew what they do to people, and that you would be fascinating to them as a result of the whole super-soldier thing. I wasn’t about to let anyone else go through that, especially not the man I’m in love with. I figured that since I’d already survived and escaped once that I could manage it again. Or at least that it wouldn’t matter if I died.”
“Wait, did you…?” His face scrunched up adorably in confusion and I had to resist the urge to lift my hand to touch his cheek. Mostly because it would hurt. “Did you really say what I think you said?”

“Depends on you think I said.” I thought back through what I had said, freezing for a millisecond when I realized what he must’ve been referring to.

“That you love me.” There was hope in his eyes, and I could see it - the same hope that I was sure had filled my eyes when he had confessed.

“Yeah. And I meant it.”

“I was worried I had imagined it for a second there.” He stood, and I tensed, fearful that he was deciding to leave, but relaxed as he moved to stand closer to my head. “It means I can finally do this.” Steve bent down to press a gentle kiss to my forehead, my cheek, my nose, before finally touching his lips to mine softly. All too soon he was pulling away and I heard a small whine of disappointment escape me. Chuckling lightly, he took his seat again, picking up my hand and rubbing his thumb over the knuckles.

“You fricken fracken, mother truckin’, son of a biscuit eating, amped up, steroid pumped little man. You can’t just leave it like that. Get back up here.” My, oh my, I sounded like a needy five year old. To be fair, I had been pining for the super soldier for a while, not to mention the whole “almost dying” thing, so I felt completely justified in demanding a little more attention. This brought a real laugh from him, brightening the room a little more.

“There will be plenty of time. For now, it’s the middle of the night. You need to rest.”

“Fricken fracken, mother truckin’, son of a biscuit eating, little prehistoric relic that belo–” I was cut off by his lips pressing against mine again. Smiling into the kiss, I moved my mostly uninjured wing to hold him closer to me. Eventually, of course, we had to pull back for air, so I took the opportunity to finish my phrase. “That belongs in a museum.” Smugly, I grinned up at him, wincing only slightly as it pulled at the injured skin.

“And here I was thinking that you loved me,” Steve replied, dramatically moving a hand to his heart as though I had wounded him. “Yet here we are, and you continue to insult me while barely pausing to take a breath between barbs.”

“Hey, I can’t help it if you leave yourself open to them. I simply have to take advantage of the opportunities as they come.” We laughed together at that.

“I suppose that’s true… Fair enough. You really should rest, though, alright?” He could see that I was about to argue, and continued so I couldn’t interrupt. “I’ll be right here when you wake up, and you can insult me some more then. How does that sound?”

“Spangles, I’ve been asleep for long enough. Besides, I… I don’t want t-to.” Sheepishly, I acknowledged my fear of the nightmares I knew were coming without saying it out loud, hoping that Steve would read between the lines and know what I meant. Fortunately, he picked up on my meaning, his eyes softening in sympathy.

“No one is going to hurt you here. I’ll chase all the nightmares away, doll.” He gently lifted my hand in his, placing it on his chest, over his heart. We sat there like that for a long moment, his steady heartbeat soothing my fraying nerves. “Feel that? As long as it’s still beating, I promise you I will keep you safe.” I nodded hesitantly, sinking back into the bed as Steve took his seat beside me again. With my cold hand in between his warm ones, I found my eyelids growing heavy again, and soon I was fast asleep.

Part Six

Forever Tags: @riddikulus-obsessions

Son of a Patriotic Biscuit Tags: @addictivewriter @barnes-toddpartnersinheartbreak @wildestdreamsrps

Series Masterlist

It’s Over…Were Over


Pairing: Theo x Reader

Prompt: “It’s over”

Summary: You break up with Theo because you found out that he kissed Tracy, despite him trying to explain to you that it meant nothing.

You felt like an idiot, you felt like the worlds biggest fool. Everyone told you stay away from Theo, that he was only going to hurt you and if he had the chance to cheat or walk away that he’ll take it. But you didn’t listen, and now you were left heartbroken because of it.

Anger, disappointment, hatred and so many other emotions were pulsing through your veins. Phone call after phone call, as well as text message after text message was making your phone go off like crazy. He just wouldn’t let things go, he just wouldn’t listen. Even after you told him that you needed time and lots of space away from him.

Covering your face with your hands you let out a small scream, your mind was painting a mental image of Theo’s lips on Tracy. That’s all you could see and think about, it made you shiver with disgust just knowing his body and lips were on another women’s.

No warning was issued when Theo bolted through the front door, you knew why he was here. He was here to plead and beg for your forgiveness but there was no way you were going to give him that.

“Babygirl I-”

“Really, babygirl? I can’t believe you have the guts to call me that after what you did”.

Everything about his appearance didn’t make your heart flutter like it did so many times before. It was like looking at a completely different person, one that you didn’t recognize and one that you were sure you couldn’t love.

“Let me explain, what you saw wasn’t what it looked like”.

“How stupid do you think I am? Theo you had your lips on someone else’s, I saw it with my own two eyes and you want to stand here and make me feel like a bigger idiot than I already am, just because you can’t man up and admit what you did”.

“Babygirl I’m all man and you know that. But if you want me to admit it than fine, yes I kissed Tracy. But it wasn’t because I had feelings for her, I needed her power and I needed her to trust me. That may sound like a dick thing to do, but you knew what you were getting into when you started dating me.”

Theo couldn’t flirt his way out of this, he couldn’t fight his way out of this. So of course his only option was to turn around and make you feel guilty for not realizing that his true nature was to deceive.

“So don’t stand there and act all surprised, because this is who I am Y/N and I haven’t not once lied about that”.

You applaud him by clapping your hands and he looked at you, “Wow Theo, that’s a great speech. No really it is…it’s so enlightening to hear you say all those words. Because it makes what I’m about to do so much easier, so thank you for that”.

Moving around the room you started too grab some things, “So here’s your favourite shirt back, I won’t be sleeping in it anymore”. you threw the shirt in his direction which he caught, “You can take back all the photos we ever took together” grabbing the nearest photo frame and throwing it in the trash, “You can delete my number and all the messages from your phone, because you won’t be needing it ever again” you turned to him, “And I’ll give you the rest of your things tomorrow”.

He tried to grab onto you, to pull you into a hug or just to feel your embrace. But you denied him that and pushed him roughly away. Having him touch you when his hands were on her made you feel sick, who knows what else happened beyond that kiss. And you didn’t want his hands anywhere near you.

“Don’t you think this is all too extreme. It was just a kiss Y/N and I swear to you it meant absolutely nothing”.

“And I suppose our relationship meant nothing as well, because what possessed you to even think that kissing some other girl would be a good idea anyway!”.

You moved around your house and started throwing his belongings in an empty cardboard box. He came over to you and took the box from your hands and placed it down on the table nearby. “Stop Y/N and just listen to me”. he said

“Why so you can lie your way out of this. You hurt me Theo! So you don’t get to stand here and say that you didn’t.”

You bended down to grab the box again, but Theo harshly gabbed it from your grip. His eyes showed that he wasn’t playing anymore, “Listen to me!” he shouted.

That’s what you were waiting for, for him to lose his cool because that was the only way honestly was going to come out. “No” you said to him in a cold, harsh tone that had the power to send shivers down someone’s spine.

“You lost any right to tell me what to do the moment you cheated. So leave, because your not welcome here anymore”.

The tension was so thick that not even a knife could break. Theo didn’t move, not even an inch. “The only way I’m leaving is if you make me. Because we’re not done, and I’m not going to lose you”.

Boy did Theo mistake how angry you were, he didn’t want to know the lengths you would go to get him out of your house. “Get out Theo”.

“No” now his tone matched your own from before.

It happened so quickly and there wasn’t even a chance for him to blink or register what had occurred. You had thrown one of the picture frames that was in the cardboard box seconds ago, and now the glass was shattered on the floor just meters away from Theo’s foot. It took a lot to shock Theo, but there was no doubt that action shocked him.

“I may not be a werewolf, but I don’t need any supernatural abilities to win this argument Theo. "It’s over. Were over, and that doesn’t mean that you try and convince me that were not, or to do everything you can think of to win me over.”

You pushed him towards the door before adding “It means leave me alone and don’t contact me".

You thought that this was going to be the end of the fight by slamming the door in his face, but considering he was much taller and stronger than you he prevented that.

“You can be angry at me all you want, you can even hit me if that is what it takes to make you feel better. But there is no fucking way babygirl that I’m going to give up on you, on us. I made a stupid mistake and I lost you because of it, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t get through this”.

Feeling completely empty and beyond exhausted you told him “Go home Theo…actually go back to Tracy, I don’t care what you do just go”.

Both you and Theo were stubborn, that was the cause of many fights within your relationship. Neither one wanted to be wrong and neither one wanted to let go of things, so it was no surprise that this is how the conversation ended up being. He wasn’t going to leave, and you weren’t going to stay…and that is where the problem arose.

“Remember when everyone said that this wouldn’t work, what did we do babygirl? We proved them wrong. So let’s prove them wrong again, let’s show them that we can get through anything and the only thing it would make us is stronger”.

“The only thing that we did is break this relationship apart. And now were both standing here with broken hearts, because we were so naive to think that someone like you who only cares about power could ever love someone like me, who only wants to protect people. And the only person I failed to protect is myself…I failed to protect myself from you”.

You left and came back with the box in hand, you gave it to Theo who looked hurt. “We just weren’t meant to be, and you know what Theo…that’s okay. It’s a lesson learned.”

“I refuse to say that were over. Go ahead and give up on us so easily, but babygirl I’m still going to fight for us”.

Closing the door you waited until you heard his truck leave the driveway until you sunk down on the floor, completely letting all the emotions take over.

  • Everything feels like a blur to Jungkook, as if he no longer had a grip on his life. Ever since the concert, he had felt out of place in his own body. It was as if until that concert, he had simply forgot about Jimin, but ever since saying his name, he found him behind every corner he turned.
  • It had awoken something inside of him, that he wanted to be put to rest. He didn’t want to forget Jimin, but all the emotions and actions that had resulted from his slip up, were beginning to weigh down on him.
  • There didn’t seem to be one person that wasn’t talking about ‘Jiminie’, and it bothered Jungkook that he no longer had any privacy. It didn’t bother him as much as what had happened to Jimin at the fanmob.
  • He had got hit in the face, because of Jungkook. That was unfair and unjust, and everything was wrong with it.
  • He hadn’t realized that he had been pacing, until Namjoon stopped him.
  • “What’s going on Jungkook? You don’t seem yourself.”
  • “Just stressed I guess,” Jungkook said, and left it at that.
  • He didn’t know how to explain his predicament to them, and frankly just wanted everything to smooth itself out. What good would talking about it do?

  • Jimin is lost. Totally and utterly lost. Despite having living in Seoul for a few months, the places still overwhelm him. His phone is absolutely flat, but he doesn’t need it to tell him that he is lost at some ungodly hour of the night.
  • Just as he passed a building, the doors open and two people walk out. He hopes that they don’t see him, but luck is not in his favour. Not only do they see him, but walk past him.
  • Just when he thinks he’s free one falls back to stand next to him.
  • “I recognize you from somewhere.”
  • Jimin wants to groan and hide. He had been recognized by so many people, and he still had no idea why. He shrugs at the person, hoping they wouldn’t punch him in the face like that girl.
  • “Wait I have it.” The other guy came to stand next to him, just as the first seemed to remember. “Jimin right?”
  • Jimin sighed. “Yes, I’m Jimin, or Jiminie. I have no idea how everyone seems to know who I am, but that’s me.”
  • The boy stared at him for a few moments, eyebrows drawn together. Just when he was about to say something, the door behind them opened again.
  • The newcomer noticed the group, not realizing that there was a third in their party.
  • “Thanks for waiting for me, guys.” Sarcasm was heavy in his voice, but more than that was an immense tiredness.
  • But Jimin knew that voice, was all too familiar with it, even if he hadn’t heard it in years.
  • He slowly turned on the spot, and wanted the Earth to swallow him, when he his eyes found the face.
  • He thought the gods must be laughing down on him, because here before him, late at night was Jungkook. Maybe he was dreaming, that might be it, because he hadn’t seen that face in years.
  • Then Jungkook looked up, and Jimin was absolutly ready for something to fall from the sky and crush him. Confusion and shock flashed over Jungkook’s features, but he didn’t break eye contact.
  • “Why are you here? Why is my life suddenly turning into a k-drama? Why does everyone happen know my name? You better have a good explanation for this, Jeon, because this has been the weirdest few days of my life.”
  • Jimin couldn’t quite remember how he got here, one moment he was meeting his long lost friend and the next he was here in an apartment under the scrutiny of five strangers.
  • Jungkook wasn’t helping either, taking off his shoes, completely oblivious to his friends.
  • “Hey, Jungkook, care to explain what is happening?”
  • It was Seokjin who spoke up, done with the silence.
  • “Oh yeah,” mumbled Jungkook, scratching the back of his neck. “Guys this is Jimin, Jimin this is everybody else.”

  • Bangtan are filled in a little, not really getting the full story because Jungkook still wants to sort everything out. He excuses Jimin and himself to his room, and lays everything out for him.
  • He tells him about the slip up at the concert, about his feels ever since. He tells him all he has, anything that he can put into words. The way his heart broke because they never really got to say goodbye to each other, and that Jungkook had broken his promise of remembering himself.
  • As he talked Jimin listened, taking in every word, every detail as if it was the only thing that would matter. He only interrupted at the end, when Jungkook had gone off on a tangent, blaming himself for everything, and all the backlash Jimin had received.
  • Jimin gripped the younger’s hands in his own, making Jungkook’s eyes meet his own, letting his lips curl up on the sides.
  • “It’s okay Kookie, don’t worry about it. It was just a mistake, and you can’t blame yourself for what someone else did.”
  • Jungkook broke into a smile, and wrapped Jimin in a hug. “I missed you calling me Kookie.”
  • A comfortable silence falls between them as they hold onto each other, relishing in each other’s presence, never wanting to let go.
  • “I missed you so much, Jiminie.”
  • There was a long silence.
  • “Please don’t go again, Kookie.”
  • As clique as it might seem, they fell asleep to the heartbeats of each other, curled into each other’s sides, content for what seemed like the first time in forever.
  • When Seokjin finds them in the morning, he just smiles to himself and snaps a picture, because he doesn’t think that Jungkook has ever looked happier in his sleep.

3 Months Later



The cheers went quiet, and they all hold a breath. Jungkook squeezed his hand backstage, and he knew it was alright. Raising the microphone to his lips, he drew in a breath.

Jungkook’s hand slipped for his, but he could still feel it, imprinted in his hand. His lips drew up, eyes crinkling.





Pictures Of Me

I have always tried to be very careful online. I didn’t give out my real name, never got more specific than my country when saying where I lived, and I certainly didn’t post any pictures of myself publicly. The only social media I had was a Facebook account and, even then, I kept the personal details vague and had the privacy settings maxed out. I thought I was being as careful as humanly possible.

It wasn’t that I was paranoid, just private. I was only a casual computer user anyway, so it wasn’t like I spent a whole lot of time online in the first place. Mostly I just used it to look at funny pictures and talk to friends.

Keep reading


Title: Thirty Seconds to happiness

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jared Leto x Reader

Warnings: Married Jensen (I guess, no disrespect intended!)

Imagine: Imagine leaving Supernatural because you fell in love with your co-star Jensen and couldn’t be together. Years later you meet again and it is obvious how he has always had strong feelings for you. Only this is you now are no longer single either.

The man that laid next to you was sleeping soundly, his bare chest moving up and down as he breathed in and out softly. He was so peaceful and at moments like this the only thing you wanted to do was stare at him. It looked like no worry bothered him and you wanted to cherish moments like this… especially when you knew you were the reason behind all said worries.

You hated doing this to him, you hated being the reason that those beautiful eyes were clouded at moments and that warm smile wasn’t as bright as it used to be. At least when you first met him. You didn’t want this to happen to him, not him of all people. Not to the man that brought so much happiness to others, you didn’t him to suffer this fate. But you couldn’t do otherwise.

You turned slowly but surely, careful not to wake him up in fear of losing this rare moment. You smiled softly, feeling your heart swell inside your chest as you watched him smile in his sleep. Maybe the bliss of the aftermath of such a night still had him forgetting everything. Everything that had him worrying at day. Some part you felt your heart soar inside your chest. You tried to show him the best you could how you felt about him and were glad that deep down he at least understood it.

You moved closer to him, moving your hand up to cup his cheek as his lips were half open. You smiled lovingly at him and felt the butterflies go crazy in your stomach when you heard him mumbled your name in his sleep. You ran your hand down to his chest and let it ret on his heart, the skin to skin contact making you feel every heartbeat. You let out a content sigh when memories of only a few hours ago started rushing. You bit your lips and shuffled, shifting your legs as you remember all the words he whispered when he kissed you, when he touched you and when he made love to you. Every time felt like the first one no matter how hard it was to believe.

You wanted to be guilty, you wanted to feel guilty so bad. In that way maybe you would pull away and maybe, just maybe, you would stop this. You would stop feeling about him this way and maybe, just maybe, change everything. Maybe, just maybe, you would stop hurting this man and finally give him the happiness he so deserved. Maybe you could stop being so selfish and hurt him during the day only to try to lessen the pain with kisses.

He never said it out loud but those, they spoke a thousand words to you.  Those eyes that were now staring at you, sleep still lacing them but a lazy smile forming on his lips.

“Hey” he said in a rough voice and you smiled sheepishly at him.

Keep reading


So I went to a cemetery today and it was so.. chilling.
Like, not in the way of chill, but creepy.
I kept walking past tombstones with names I recognized like Alfred or the last name of one of my friends. Even my last name showed up (The person we were visiting had my last name too.)
And I kept thinking “What if my mom’s the one to bury me here??” And now I can’t get the thought out of my head.
And from there, it turned into a game of walking past tombstones and wondering “How did they die? Are their families still alive? Do they still visit? How do they feel? Do I fix the vase? Do I move the flowers?”
And when we left, it turned into a game of “Why does dying feel like a memory rather than an imagination?”

anonymous asked:

This isn't s request or anything, I just felt like I didn't have anywhere else to go. Do you think it's stupid to grieve someone that is still alive? Sorry to be a bother.

No, I don’t think it is stupid at all. Grieving is a feeling of sorrow, of loss. To grieve is to mourn. That feeling is not exclusive to someone dyeing. You can without out a doubt grieve for someone that is still alive. You are most likely grieving because you most likely (Consciously or not) recognize that someone in that person is either being lost, or changing. I grieved when one of my closest friend moved states away from me, because I felt like I had lost her, despite her still obviously being alive. I am grieving the loss of many of my friends right now, because so much in our lives are changing, and I have so many people that I feel I no longer know. It’s not stupid, in fact, it’s normal. 

Also, it is never a bother to me. I am always here to help. If you, or anyone ever needs a place to vent, some advice, someone to talk to, I am always available. I like to help people, I want to help people. I am sorry you felt like you might be a bother just for asking something, but I assure you, you are no such thing. 

If you ever need anything else, please don’t be afraid to message me. 

anonymous asked:

Every single one of my abusers has made me feel ashamed of the things I like. I also have a high chance of having OCD, so when I like something, I obsess over it. And I feel disgusted with myself for it. I like cartoons and anime and video games, especially for the characters/character development. But because of the four abusers I've had in my life (since I was 6 yrs old) have made me hate myself for liking things. Idk what to do.

i think my parents did something similar to me, i liked video games for awhile and they’d always tell me how useless they were and how i was wasting my day playing them and that made me feel like shit. i mean, even though i don’t really play video games anymore, something that has helped me give them less power over my self esteem has been recognizing that their opinion is just one person’s opinion. it might really hurt (and it does, i know) but there are people out there who don’t believe the same thing as them and one day (if you haven’t already) you’ll find people who love you and your interests and not make you feel like shit for liking something

anonymous asked:

Do you know what makes me sad? When Gillian criticized about the male writers of the show. I mean did she even think how the writers felt about that? It wasn't their fault they knew the show better, they've been writing about Scully and Mulder a long long time. saying we can do better implies these writers were bad. Now some fans were disappointed but how do you think the writers also felt..

It’s also one of the things that make me sad. I think she needed a smoke screen in relation to the pictures from Portofino and she saw that article and chose to retweet it. Already the following day, she had to explain a little in a new tweet. It seems to me like a very impulsive and thoughtless act that made her write those things. Generally, GA can seem very impulsive, so I guess it suits her person well. But I do not think she recognizes her own life story and with whom she has shared her story. Although there are many who do not think she owes anything to XF, it is XF who helped to make her what she is today. With that, the writers have also been part of her story. To me it was an enormously selfish and unacceptable act.
I agree that there are too few women in the industry, but as others and I have written many times before, she should have made aware of the problem before, for example before signing her contract and not 5 weeks before starting a new season. She could also have made it known in one of the countless other cases where she has worked with men only. It was a very unfortunate moment and a very unsympathetic move in my eyes but perhaps it was done in desperation?

i love monster and consider it one of my favorite rem albums. i dont know if it will ever be recognized as a great album but to me i see it as this catharsis thru a rebellion against everything michael was and what the band was doing up until then. i think michael was very much still reeling from the death of river (which i personally believe he never fully recovered) and then the subsequent death of kurt. And to top all that off, the added pressure of extreme fame all these people had and how that dynamic affected or perhaps even created the circumstances in the first place; what it came to mean to be famous at the lowest point of ones life and did you arrive there because of the fame. In my perspective he seemed to be exploring all these sides of oneself that come out when we are at our most vulnerable and grieving..becoming unrecognizable to ourselves…because while its often just flat out depressing it can also be nasty. You can find yourself filled with a lot of hatred for all things. And you can find yourself thinking things that surprise and shock you with how cavalier and cruel you can be towards life. I think thats where the inspiration came for the difference in the music style too and the heaviness of it. It needed to be in your face to really get it out of theirs (or michaels.) It feels like through the album hes trying on all these emotional components to either purge them or see where they could settle in more permanently… integrate them somehow. It also has some damn great songs on it. Ill always defend monster. I think it had an actual impact on music in general and on rem.s future work certainly

The music video made for kenneth alone makes that album worthy of praise imo. @ninnie-knees-up