i think i am going through a bit of a phase right now

It Takes A Long Time To Get Over Yourself


Oh, man. This letter has taken me an embarrassingly long time to write. Probably because I haven’t written anything but e-mails and Tweets for 12 years.

If the last year has taught me anything, it’s this: it takes a long time to get over yourself.

Last March, after 7 years on the road, I decided to take a break. I was excited about this. I’d imagined myself watching tv all day, being a “chill person”, eating doughnuts because I didn’t have to wear latex catsuits anymore. The reality was not quite the joy ride I’d been expecting.

I’ve been an artist for over a decade but up until this year, I hadn’t realised how much my sense of self had been defined by my role as an artist. I’d never thought of “Marina and the Diamonds” as a persona or a construct, and I didn’t think the stage-me was very different to the sofa-me. MATD was an exciting vehicle that helped me express ideas and thoughts to people. But just as people construct online personas, artist construct visual ones, and over time, the lines between art and reality can drift apart. 

I can’t remember when I first became conscious of it but I started to feel like there were two parts of me, artist self and private self, and there was nothing in between to link the two anymore. I was one or the other, and neither part of my personality could be present in the same environment. Perhaps because I’d spent most of the past 8 years devoted to being an artist and this hadn’t presented many opportunities for other parts of my personality to grow. When one part of a personality dominates, other parts shrink and life can take on an unreal, two-dimensional quality. I felt confused as to why I no longer felt like I fit into the world I’d built. I don’t think my feelings are exceptional (particularly in entertainment) but I wonder if you are someone who has experienced this in a different context.

I’ve always been interested in identity. In my twenties, I felt frustrated by how regularly my identity seemed to shift and change until I began to consider the idea that a fixed self may not exist. I explored this in “Electra Heart” by deconstructing aspects of female identity in a portrayal of female archetypes. However, the past year has made me re-examine this idea. Not being able to equate my identity to a job, project or visible entity has created a lot of discomfort and uncertainty in me. Which has been a surprise, as I thought I felt secure in myself. How can I be so sure of who I am if I am so susceptible to change? A lot of what contributes to our idea of identity is down to pure chance - ethnicity, social class, upbringing, religion, job, relationships - who are we without those influences?

Everything in western culture feels so geared towards self-definition, but I wonder if having a looser idea of yourself could make life richer. The past year hasn’t been full of rainbows - I feel like my brain has been brutally rewired - but letting go of a perceived idea of myself has resulted in a new kind of personal freedom. My image is no longer a main source of identity, nor are previous signifiers like clothing (more on this in a future post), designer brands + other things I subconsciously used to define myself.

Lasting change rarely happens over night. This past year has been painful and slow. But I’m in a more genuine space than I was a year ago and I would never want to go back to that stunted way of being again. In fact, the only solace I had in this period was being able to read the books and blogs of other people experiencing significant life transitions, so I hope this might be of help to anyone who is going through a similar stage.

Truth is, I’m not planning ahead much right now. I am indeed going through my “what should I do with the rest of my life” phase that most people go through at 21. Which is… cool. But I’m grateful to have the opportunity to explore different interests, and starting marinabook is a part of that. I’m starting a Psychology course soon, which I am SO excited about, and I’m ready for a brand new chapter. I hope you’ll be a part of it.

Some people have been asking about new music and I’m always flattered to be asked. I know one year is like an aeon in digital time! The honest answer is I don’t know when that will be, but the connection I have with music has always flowered from an honest connection with myself, and I trust my instincts. Whenever I get back on stage again, I would love to feel like I am the sum of my parts, not the sum of a persona or an image. That’s the goal. A lot of reality with a little bit of fantasy. So, marinabook is a way for us to stay connected while I work that out.

I miss you all!

Ask a question or share thoughts here.

Love from,
Marina

Further Reading

Brilliant explanation of personas here. 5 minute read.

Podcast on how our views about the Self affect our views on death.  By “Philosophy Bites”.  15 minutes.

Illustration by Lan Truong

Friends or more? Sentence Starters

aka “sometimes i feel like i wanna make out with you is that a friend thing to do?” type of things

(send a name and a sentence)

  • “You’ve been pouting ever since I went out on that date, what’s up?”
  • “We always share blankets on the couch, I’m sure sharing the bed for the night is fine too.”
  • “Your lips are getting really close to mine.”
  • “I’m not jealous, but, like, come on, movie night is just for me and you only.”
  • “I dare you to kiss me.”
  • “No, go on the Ferris Wheel with me, not them.”
  • “You can share my jacket with me, since you’re shivering.”
  • “Why is your hand on my ass?”
  • “Cuddle with me.”
  • “I just kissed your forehead, chill.”
  • “Shit, how’d you make me blush like this?”
  • “Are you trying to turn me on?”
  • “Let’s hang out, but I’ll pay for everything, and we can go to this fancy restaurant– No, not a date.”
  • “Okay, I guess this is a date, actually.”
  • “Stop with the tongue thing, it’s strangely attractive.”
  • “I keep telling them we’re not dating, but they keep telling me friends don’t normally make out when drunk.”
  • “I don’t want to be friends with benefits, but I do want something more, I just can’t figure out what.”
  • “When did you get so beautiful?”
  • “If you’re going to dress like that, I’m not going to let you out of my sight.”
  • “Their pick-up line wasn’t as good as any of mine, I’m just saying.”
  • “No, I don’t know how I got a boner, It just kind of happened! It’s because of how you were eating that ice cream, I bet!”
  • “I’m holding your hand because the movie is scary, alright?  It’s a… Terrifying… Rom-com… ….. .”
  • “Why’d you let go of me?”
  • “I accidentally called you my girlfriend/boyfriend today.”
  • “I kissed you because we were drunk.”
  • “I kissed you because I didn’t know what else to do.”
  • “Could you not talk to him/her, please?  I think they’re trying to date you.”
  • “I wish we could stay like this forever…”
  • “I had this dream where we were dating.”
  • “I had this dream where you kissed me, and I kind of want to try it now.”
  • “Why do you always call me when I’m on a date?”
  • “No, I can’t hang out, I’m on a date and you know that.” 
  • “Okay, maybe I am a bit jealous.”
  • “Just remember, he/she’s not the one who taught you how to kiss.”
  • “It’s weird how we’ve been friends for so long, but never went through that ‘crushing’ phase.”
  • “Maybe I want to kiss you because it’s cold and about to be cuddle season.”
  • “I say this a lot, but, look, they’re not good enough for you.”
  • “You’re always wrapping your arms around me in lines.”
  • “I was listening to that love song, and you came to mind.  Weird, right?”
  • “You know this voucher only works for couples, right?”
  • “Are you implying that you want to kiss me?”
  • “Why are you looking at me like that?”
  • “You’re blushing so hard, all I did was say “I love you” in French.”
  • “I could get used to waking up next to you, actually.”
  • “Right… Well… I’m not sure how we ended up kissing like that…”
  • “I’m personally offended that you didn’t get me to be your fake date.”
  • “We would make a pretty good couple.”
  • “The date didn’t go well.  Yeah, she/he didn’t like how I kept mentioning all of our adventures.”
  • “How come I always end up calling you when I can’t fall asleep?”
  • “Sometimes i feel like i wanna make out with you is that a friend thing to do?”
Lighting in The Last Jedi trailer and that scene we are all talking about.

Like many of you that last bit of the trailer had me screaming at the tv. After the initial freak out phase had passed, I began to slowly shift into the what if phase, meaning– are they baiting me? Now there are several theories out there about who Kylo is holding his hand out too. Some say its Leia and not Rey. What if I told you the proof is in the shot itself? 

I am about to give you a quick lesson in lighting, visual storytelling, and cinematography. 

Let’s go back to The Force Awakens as a reference guide. The lighting on Starkiller base bridge you know that scene where he kills his dad? 

Lighting was something they made sure to get right in this scene. Notice how Kylo’s face is half hidden in shadow and the other in light. Signifying his split.

JJ says this  “ And you see the light go away. And now they’re in this darkness. And darkness takes over.”

The play with light was even more apparent when Kylo and Rey face off against the edge of the cliff. 

Now I’m about to throw some cited literary sources about Film and Lighting just so it’s importance is established. 

“In visual storytelling, few elements are as effective and as powerful as light and color. They have the ability to reach the viewers at a purely emotional gut level”(Brown, 2012, p. 8).

Light becomes mood that gives its tone to a film. It calls upon our memory to react to physical phenomena such as cold, rain, fog, sun, or dryness, and come up with psychological equivalents such as annoyance, sadness, mystery, fear, anguish, comfort, joy, gaiety, etc. As these effects produce immediate impressions in viewers, the cinematographer is able to obtain psychological reactions out of mere technical means (Geuens, 2000, p. 153).


Architecture and Film both use perceptual psychology to get people to see spaces in a certain way. Architecture lighting designers skillfully illuminate buildings and rooms with psychological intentions.

Lighting designers think about a psychological response and how behavior is affected by lighting. Some examples are:

1. Visibility of vertical and horizontal junctions aids orientation.

2. People follow the brightest path.

3. Brightness can focus attention.

4. Facing wall luminance is a preference.

5. Lighting can affect body position (Ginthner, accessed April, 2013 p.2).

Just as lighting designers light spaces to stimulate human mood and behavior, Cinematographers light the space inside a movie frame with the intent to persuade a viewer’s perception. The way objects are lit in the frame will focus the viewer’s attention, the amount of shadows cast will limit perception, and changing lights can indicate a change in a character or opportunity (Brown, 2012).

However, unlike film, architecture has had a psychological study on how different light in a physical space effect human arousal, concentration, memory, work productivity, and Mood.

If you take any type of filmmaking class, this is one of the first things you learn. Nothing is a mistake in these films everything is as designed to serve a purpose. 

So let’s dive into the scene in question. 

Originally posted by mine-loves

First of all, let us talk about how these two shots are framed. They are close up only showing the faces of our characters. 

Close up shots typically contain just the face and shoulders of a subject, with a little headroom above. This prevents ‘floating head syndrome’ as the shoulders suggest to the brain that there is a body below! These shots are the most common of all as they can convey a real sense of emotion and help the audience to connect with the subject.

Second, let’s talk about the choice of lighting

They are both in a warm fiery glow. 

You can judge the quality of light in a film scene through the hardness or softness of its shadows. Hard quality light has dark shadows with sharp edges and often feels more raw than soft quality light. Soft lighting, often used in older films, has lighter, diffused shadows and tends to feel more sentimental.

And with advances in film technology, sharp shadows can also be quite romantic. Case in point, this still from the end of the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice:

Third, let’s talk color 

Color temperature is one of the first things to note when studying the lighting in a romantic scene. Is it orange? Bluish? White? Most often, warm colors add to an inviting, romantic atmosphere. For example, the warm light in the sunset scene in Titanic draws the audience in, unlike the cold, blue lighting later in the movie, after things get dire.

Forth let’s talk context

This is not the same scene with Kylo. Rey is still wearing her resistance clothing. This is the beginning of the film. 

The context matters especially in this scene where Rey is talking about needing someone to show her where she belongs. Is this romantic? The answer is, no. Is it intimate? Yes. The scene can be set up this way without any romantic implications. But it is definitely meant to be intimate. Rey is vulnerable at this moment and is speaking from her heart to Luke. Please show me what to do with myself. 

Now let’s move to Kylo’s scene which is no doubt at the end of the movie (because his scar is healed.) 

Our big bad villain is bathed in nearly the exact same lighting and color as Rey’s shot, even the framing is the same. In no other shot ever has Kylo Ren been depicted in these colors. Not in the teaser and not in TFA. Kylo is always in red or dark. The context of this shot is very very important. He is reaching out palm up as to take someone’s hand. He does this slow and gentle. His face is soft with what I would say a plea. 

Yes, this is a call back to Darth Vader asking Luke to join him on the Darkside in Empire Strikes Back. But if you go back and watch that scene it is intimately framed (remember context matters), but the colors are pale. Lukes’ face is in agony. Vader extends his hand it’s rigid and forced.


Before I get into more examples, I want to point out that yes trailers are meant to give you an idea, and intrigue you but they are also meant to misdirect. 

Trailer Misdirects/Visual Storytelling and Dialogue

The misdirect of this scene is to make you believe Rey might join the dark side with Kylo or at least first glance. General Audience viewers casual fans who do not give it any second deep thought will accept this and move on. However, more dedicated fans will step in and try to dissect the scene by looking at the image and not the overall meaning behind everything we discussed above. The trailer isn’t designed to give anything away. Which leads me to say this is very smart editing on Rian’s behalf. While it doesn’t give us the answer of will, she or won’t she? It provides us with the question that we will inevitably discuss in length until the movie is released. 

 I would also like to point out there is a visual storytelling aspect of this trailer when it comes to the dialogue. 

One example of this not related to the scene in question comes from Poe Dameron.  He states “We have the spark that will ignite the fire to bring the First Order down.” The next scene we get is Finn. It is pretty clear that bit of dialogue was meant for Finn. He will no doubt help bring the FO down as other Stormtroopers defect as he did. Finn is that spark for the rebellion. Now let’s talk about the Rey/Kylo scene. The same thing happens here. Her dialogue coincides with the next shot of Kylo. Also, notice (scroll up if you need to) how their faces are opposite each other Rey is looking slightly to our left while Kylo is looking slightly to the right. Their positions are mirrored which is a recurring theme in the TFA (see the snow fight). This is beautiful visual storytelling. TFA was full of the same imagery lighting and storytelling. I have a post about it HERE

I went through and found scenes that mimic that of what we saw in the trailer, down to color, lighting, and frame.  I also chose male and female characters. Guess what, all of them were romantic. 

I chose this because of the flares in the background and the close-up framing of their faces. Notice yes the color is blue because they are parting (remember CONTEXT). 

Next, we have a scene from Pride and Prejudice, but beyond the romance aspect, I want you to watch the light change of this scene. Elizabeth is bathed in blue until she accepts Darcy, taking his hand. The sunlight beams between them warming the scene.  Skip to 3:10

Here is an oldie but a goody. I chose this due to the color. Now remember this film is old, lighting techniques have come a long way since the 1930s, but their choice of color is important, along with the shadows on their faces. 

Ah, Jon and Dany. This is very romantic (even tho its incest lol) But take a look at the lighting between them also this part is (NSFW) if you are gonna watch till the end. You were warned. 


And now for the grand finale TFA cliff scene. Oh, I chose this little diddy to drive home a point. Kylo and Reys’ faces are framed intimately (which signified they would have a more profound connection later and at that moment they were finding the Force together) But also notice their faces are bathed in mostly pale colors due to it being cold. Yes, the lightsabers flicker red and blue onto them. Yes, that holds meaning as well, the fight between the dark and the light. But the overall pallet is pale frigid colors. Also, the context -- there’s that word again– of this scene is they are enemies fighting. Kylo does want to teach her, but he’s aggressive and forceful, to say the least. It is a stark contrast to what we see in TLJ trailer. Where he is calm relaxed and in warm, inviting lighting. No aggressive posture, no forceful plea.

If you want to contrast another couple, please refer to Pride and Prejudice again. I can’t upload it here, but this is the link. This is where Darcy says he loves Elizabeth, but she rejects him. They have close-ups, but the color and lighting are not intimate. Its pale lighter and blue. All things that are associated with sadness rejection etc. You get the point. 

So in conclusion. It is my opinion based on all information gathered on cinematography, that yes the relationship between Kylo Ren or perhaps Ben Solo at this point has drastically changed. It is no longer one of animosity or hate. Judging by the warm colors, and the soft shadows and above all else the context of the gesture/posture/facial expression of Ben it is romantic or at the very least (for the skeptics) a special relationship– Remember Rey and Ben are similar in Force power according to Luke- this gives them a bridge to each other one that will take them to understanding and COMPASSION. I am not saying they kiss, I am not saying they are a couple at the end of this movie. I am saying that it’s possible that it will move in this direction. They no longer hate each other. How did we get to this point? Well, we have a whole Act 1 and 2 to get through for that answer. 

I will stress that I believe that yes Ben/Kylo is holding his hand out to Rey. And no, it is not out of malice or deception. He is not asking her to join him on the Darkside… He is asking her to go with him and for acceptance. 

I made a follow-up post to this because this was so long! Please click here to see more examples and extra information

Sad Songs

A/N This is a pretty crappy one (not gonna lie) but I just wanted to write something… so here you guys go!! I’m probably gonna write a part 2 because I have a few ideas in mind… Anyways hope you enjoy this!

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader, ft Harrison Osterfield and Zendaya

Word Count: 1, 218

Warnings: None? A lil angst?

Inspired by The Deceitful Man by @webslingerholland!!

Masterlist 

| Part 2 |  


You sat down on the couch. Excitement bubbled inside of you. Tom was landing today. You were ecstatic. Tom had been away for 6 months, filming Chaos Walking and going for press tours. You couldn’t leave London due to your job, so you had to make do with Skype calls or texts. You missed him so much and you couldn’t wait to have him in your arms again. The late night skype calls weren’t enough. You were desperate to touch him, hug him and kiss him.

You smiled to yourself as you looked at the picture of you and Tom hanging on the wall. Oh how you wished time would pass faster. A buzz from your phone snapped you out of your thoughts. You picked up the rectangle block. A text from Zendaya.

Call me on Skype. It’s important.

You frowned. What happened? It couldn’t be Tom. Harrison would’ve called you if something happened to Tom. You rang her up on Skype.

“Hey Zend-”

“He’s cheating.” You could sense the nervousness in her voice.

You furrowed your brows. Who was cheating? Tom? Not possible. Was Zendaya’s boyfriend cheating on her?

“What? Who?”

“Tom.”

You couldn’t believe what you heard. You blinked. Was your head processing this right? Tom?  Thomas Holland? Cheating? On you? No way. You refused to believe it. You laughed.

“That’s a good prank Z. Thomas wouldn’t cheat on me.” You said flatly.

“But he did. Y/N you need to believe me. I have proof.”

“I don’t think so Z.” Your voice quivered a little.

“I’m so sorry.” She said as your phone buzzed. You looked down. A picture of Tom holding another woman, smiling as he kissed her passionately. You refused to believe what you saw.  

“Are you sure that this isn’t from Chaos Walking?”

“It was taken during a get together three weeks ago. There was no booze. Nothing. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have kept it from you for so long. I just didn’t know what to do.” She apologised with a sorry expression plastered on her face. You knew it was true.

“It’s alright. Does Harrison know?”

“Yes. You alright?”

“I’m fine.” You’re not.

“You’re not.”  

She was right. You were broken. Torn. Hurt. You bit your lip hard, trying to stop yourself from breaking down. But you couldn’t hold back. Hot tears started to trickle down your cheek as you thought of Tom holding another woman, with the hands that held you. You thought of Tom kissing her, with the lips that said ‘I love you’. You thought of Tom’s smile, the one that could light up your day. You thought of him, until the familiar ringtone sounded through your house. It was Tom.

“Hello?” You put the phone on loudspeaker so that Zendaya could hear.

“Hey. Haz and I just landed. But you don’t have to come see us. We’re really tired. Gonna head to my house to rest. I’ll see you in a few days at your family dinner alright?”

“How about tomorrow? We have tickets to watch a movie remember?”

“Oh… about that… I’m sorry but I’m really tired and I want to take a few days to rest. You can take your sister instead.” He sounded nervous. You could tell that he was lying through his teeth.

“My sister is studying in Singapore Tom.”

“Right… sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

You said, waiting for an ‘I love you’ back, but the line went dead.

“Oh God. I’m so sorry Y/N. I can come over tomorrow to watch it with you?” She suggested, hoping to lift your spirits.

“It’s fine. I have something to do anyways. You’ll hear about it though.” You smiled.


You were fine. You had skipped the whole crying and wallowing in self pity phase of a breakup. You spent the night singing happy breakup songs and clearing your house. You packed up all of Tom’s things into a box. You cleared all the clothes you took, all the pictures and all the gifts. You packed it into two cardboard boxes. You loaded the boxes into the boot of your car and you headed off.

“Y/N?” Harrison looked surprised and extremely uncomfortable.

“Hey.” You smiled.

“uh… what are you doing here?” He leaned his weight on the door, such that all you could see was him and a little bit of the house.

“I thought that I could come surprise Tom. I have somethings for him.”

“Oh… well but Tom doesn’t want you here right now. Plus he’s out.” Lies. Tom’s shoes were by the shoe rack.

“It’s fine. I’ll just leave the things here.”

Harrison reached to take the boxes, but you pushed your way through and walked into the house.

“Y/N, I said you’re not supposed to be here.“ 

You dropped the boxes. Now you were angry.

“Why? Why Harrison? Why am I not allowed here. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t be here.” You were fuming. How could Harrison not tell you? He was your best friend too.

“I said, Tom isn’t home.” Lies.

“I’m not blind Haz. I can see the pair of high heels sitting next to Tom’s shoes. I know Harrison. I know.“ 

By then you were raising your voice. You didn’t care if you were disturbing Tom and his girlfriend, you needed to let your pent up anger go.

“Geez what’s with the noise?”

You turned to see him. Standing on the steps of the staircase. He froze. He went white. You desperately wanted to go up to him and kiss him. You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to hug him. You wanted to slap him into another universe.

“Y/N… what are you doing here? I told you not to come.”

You shrugged.

“I told you not to come. God why can’t you just listen? I wanted t-”

“To spend time with your new girlfriend?” You fired back.

He was stunned. He figured that you wouldn’t have found out. He figured that if he hid her well enough, no one else would find out.

“Oh yea. It was supposed to be a secret. My bad. Zendaya happened to spill the beans. Whoops?”

“Zendaya…” his hand curled into a fist.

“Don’t blame her. I think I deserve to know if my boyfriend doesn’t want me anymore right?”

His face softened when you said that.

“Y/N… it’s not that I don’t want you. I do. I’m so sorry… it was a one time thing. It was an accident. I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was doing.” He pleaded.

“No wonder you won that award at the BAFTAs… you’re a really good actor.” You crossed your arms, pretending to be wowed by his performance.

“Wha-”

“Zendaya told me every single detail Thomas. There was no booze. You were definitely in the right mind… and judging by the pair of high heels over there… I’m pretty sure it’s not a one time thing.” You stated flatly.

“No Y/N… It’s not… no… Please forgive me. I’ll break up with her…”

“It’s fine Thomas.”

He looked at you, his eyes lit up. He was thankful that he was given another chance.

“It was nice while it lasted. Goodbye Thomas.”

Send me requests

Tethered Down

Vlad isn’t used to being interrupted while working in his lab. Its walls are reinforced lead and its ceiling is buried twenty feet below basement level. The room is missing from the building plans, invisible to the code specs, and inaccessible to any snooping government agents. The Guys in White’s detection equipment has never found it. They would have better luck finding some hollowed out space by banging on the side of their own heads.

So when Vlad hears the clatter of tripped-over machine parts and light, breathy cursing from behind him, he knows no normal person has come to find him. This makes him crack a razor-fanged smile. Vlad lowers the welding torch he’d been using to stitch some metal parts together for a new portal hub. He raises the goggles from off his red eyes, and turns around in mock formality.

“Daniel you should have told me you were coming. I would have put some tea on for the both of us.”

Vlad is right—Danny is standing at the other end of the lab, but he doesn’t look how Vlad had pictured. No jumpsuit, no balled-up fists, no murderous green glinting eyes. Danny is entirely human, and he looks only a bit bothered, like he’s thinking too hard about what to say.

“Vlad,” Danny settles on.

Vlad’s smile doesn’t waver. He takes a few steps forward, boots clacking out hollow sonorous beats on the cavernous floor. Danny seeking him out is almost always a treat. It means he’s done something to annoy or frustrate or enrage Danny enough to be sought out without any effort on Vlad’s part. It’s already a victory of sorts for Vlad, and he’s eager to know what he’s done.

Vlad spreads his arms, as if to encompass the far wall of enormous floating monitors, the pink-swirling portal in the back left corner, the tables and shelves filled with cobbled-together metal gadgets. Vlad glances down. There are three empty toppled paint cans at Danny’s feet, clearly tripped over and just now settling.

“So, to what do I owe this delight? Have you come to hear about my specs for the new Maddie AI? Or maybe you’d like to hear about my recent cloning breakthroughs. Or—“ Vlad swoops in closer, circling Danny, delighting in the way Danny’s head whips about to follow his motions, “—is there something else even better you’d like to discuss?”

“Something else.”

Vlad frowns just slightly. There’s no passion in Danny’s voice, rare for a kid motivated almost entirely by his unstable emotions. There’s no fire in his eyes either. No accusation or quick remark lashing from his tongue. Danny’s eyes are calm, and his tone is simply flat.

“What, then?” Vlad asks, and he loses the traction of their banter.

“I went on a college visit yesterday.”

Vlad pauses. He’s half-stooped over Danny, expecting more to be said. Vlad finds himself with nothing to go on. “…Okay,” he says.

“I like the place a lot. And people with my grades get in there all the time. Especially if I keep them up for the rest of junior year I stand a good chance.”

“What place?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Then why are you telling me.” Vlad slides away from Danny. His hope of being cursed out is fading, and his brow furrows. His face brightens at a sudden thought, “Did you feel the urge to tell me because I’ve simply become a sort of father figure to you?”

“I want to go there. It’s three hours away by car. One and a half by the Fenton RV, but that’s with my dad driving.” Danny’s voice has become clinical, like the very words are tedious, like he’s talking to a customer service representative and he’s bored. “And it’s an hour away if I fly.”

“Get to the point Daniel. I’m a busy man.”

“No you’re not. You just have a lot of creepy pet projects.” Danny motions stiffly to the pod-like vats that once contained Danny’s old clones. “My point is I can’t keep super-heroing if I go there.”

“Ah,” Vlad brightens again. He leans in. “A crisis then? A conflict of character, of morality, and you’ve come to me for advice? You’re desperate to know if you can hang up your cape to chase a dream so banal as a normal college life?”

“God—no—shut up just a minute. Not everything’s that dramatic.” Danny leans away, sizing Vlad up. “My angsty teenage phase has been over for like a year. And what are you, like, 40? Chill out for like five minutes, for once.”

Vlad deflates a little, frowning.

Danny clears his throat to continue. “I’m not ‘hanging up my cape’. I’m not making any rash decisions. I’m just going to college, because that’s what I want to do, for me. And I’m doing it. I’ve still got my own life to live. But that means I’m not around Amity to help with the ghost patrol.”

“You’d willfully leave them unprotected, hmm?”

“Please. Mom and Dad are still kicking ghost ass in the meantime. And I’m not that irresponsible. I’m hiring a replacement.”

“Oh…who? Valerie?”

Danny snorts. “Hell no. She’s got a full ride to some college out in Michigan for field hockey. She’s getting the hell out like I am.” Danny’s face sobers. “No, I’m hiring you, Vlad. You’re going to pick up whatever slack I leave behind, got it?”

Vlad’s face splits into a grin, and he barks a laugh. Then he throws his head back and roars, teeth glinting, eyes deeply red and alight. He regains his composure with a few rolling chuckles, and fixes Danny with a condescending smirk. “Oh, adorable. You think you can make me do what you want.”

“Yeah, I can.”

“Can’t.”

“Can,” Danny answers firmly. “Because if you refuse, then I’m going back home, and the second I get through that front door, I’m doing this.” Danny straightens his shoulders just a fraction, and a glimmering white ring splits at his midsection, enveloping him, repainting him as something sallow and yet bright, cold and yet flickering hot, dead and so monstrously alive. And in some ways, he looks exactly the same. “I realized I don’t care about keeping my secret anymore, really. Mom and Dad accept Phantom as a helper way more often than they ever try to shoot at him, and they’d accept me. And I don’t think it would really change much anymore. I’m not 14 anymore. I could handle letting them know.”

Vlad’s jaw is tight. “…So?”

“So that’s where we’re different, V-man.” Danny flashes a condescending smile to match the one Vlad had worn. “You can’t dare to let them know. The Wisconsin Ghost? You? God, it would end you. My parents, and the town, and the government—they’d all be at your throat in an instant. You’d lose everything.” Danny rocks back on his heels. “And I’ll out you in a heartbeat if you give me a reason to. Because you don’t hold any leverage against me anymore, Vlad. I’ve grown up, and I’m over it.”

“You don’t…mean that,” Vlad answers slowly, dumbly.

“I do.” Another flash, and the rings sweep past Danny to reveal the simple body of a human once more.

“…Just for college?” Vlad doesn’t like the edge in his voice, the quiet anxiety. “Four years?”

Danny shrugs. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll come back home after college if it turns out ghost hunting is the thing I wanna do with my life. Maybe I won’t.” Danny steps forward, encroaching on Vlad, suddenly taller and surer than Vlad had ever seen him. “I’ll be home during breaks—I’m sure I’ll happily pick up the ghost hunting then. But maybe I’ll get an internship somewhere? Maybe I’ll take a term abroad, you know? Maybe I’ll stay a whole lot of years more and get my PhD in astrophysics. ‘Dr. Fenton’, like my mom. It’s got a nice ring to it.”

“You wouldn’t…” Vlad mutters. “Who says I’ll keep doing it that long, hmm?”

“Go ahead. Break your promise whenever. But the second you do, I’m giving your identity to everyone I know. And besides. You’re not going anywhere anyway.” Danny takes a few steps back, and motions around him. “This? Your whole secret lair down here? You’ve tethered yourself to this place. You’ve got no family anywhere, and you’ve got no ambitions in your life that don’t involve me or my mom. You’re 40 and you’re sad and you’ve made your bed here and I know you don’t intend to go anywhere else, even with all your money, because what purpose would you even have anywhere else, Vlad? You could do this for the rest of your life, picking up my slack. You just might.”

Danny flashes to ghost form again, and kicks off into the air, and hovers up to the ceiling from which he entered.

“Me, Vlad? I’m young, and I’ve got my life ahead of me, and I can still do something with it. I’m everything you’re not.”

Vlad says nothing. He only stares. He hears only static in his ears.

“See you later, or maybe never again, Fruit Loop.”

Byun Baekhyun//True Colours

Summary: You attend a supernatural college, and after an eventful first meeting, you develop a heavy dislike for Baekhyun, as he’s your natural rival - a vampire. But things are strange for you, because as the months go by, you can’t figure out if you’re simply using the rivalry as an excuse to avoid facing your fears.
Scenario: college!AU, supernatural!AU, angst
Word Count: 7,599

Keep reading

marino-kun  asked:

Do you take prompt? What about Stiles having a secret crush on Derek but when saw him, taking care Scott's son, he fell in love.

I’m not much of a kid fic person, so this took me a while, but I tried. Hopefully it’s kind of what you were angling for!

*

“Do you think I’m ready for fatherhood?” Stiles asks, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. He’s not freaking out about this. He’s not.

Boyd says flatly, “Stilinski, you’re twenty-one years old. You’re supposed to know how to use a condom by now.“

Stiles’ hand spasms and he accidentally squirts a huge glob of ketchup on his mound of curly fries. Fuck. He has the ideal ketchup-to-curly-fry ratio down to a science, and this is not it. “No, absolutely not what I meant. It’s just. Did you know Derek had a kid?”

Boyd meditatively takes a bite of his burger. “No. But the nice thing about Derek is that he doesn’t go in for personal talk.”

Stiles shoots him a weird look. Of course Boyd would think that was nice. Stiles, though, has been trying to break down Derek’s walls even just a little bit for months now—sitting with him in class, sharing his notes, studying with him in the library and getting late-night waffles together afterwards, little by little pulling Derek out of his shell. He’d thought he was getting somewhere, but obviously not, not if Derek failed to mention this kid even existed.

Which he does. Stiles knows, because he can see him right now, over by Prof. Martin’s pool. Apparently his name is Jamie.

Keep reading

alpha & omega
part ii part iii

summary - this is basically the aftermath of “accepting anxiety part 2″, and it’s also based off of this prompt

pairing - prinxiety if you squint 

word count - 1,499

warnings - a bit of angst, spoilers for today’s video if you haven’t seen it 

tags - angst-to-fluffish

a/n - so this turned out to be a lot longer than a drabble, which is why it’s going as it’s own fic 

tagging - @ace-anxiety-sanders , @pointless-blog-name , @lampisimportant , @pippa-frost , @jinxed-unicorn , @starrykid , @pattykrabbies


It’s late when Anxiety trudges into the common room, bleary-eyed and craving a black cup of coffee. As he passes the couch, he notices the static of their television crackling faintly in the background, and he picks up the remote to switch it off—who would’ve even been up late enough to leave it on—when he notices the lump of blanket on the couch.

“I was watching that,” a voice pipes up from underneath it, tone far too entitled to be anyone other than Prince.

Anxiety pauses with his thumb over the power button, turning to face the other side with a baffled stare. “It wasn’t even…on a channel,” he mumbles, tossing the remote onto the couch. “What’re you doing?”

Keep reading

Give me a nice, Wholesome AU™ where Vlad ~somehow~ stops being a super-creep and agrees to mentor Danny– not because he wants to marry his mom and make him his son, but because he genuinely just wants to help another halfa out since HE didn’t have help way back when.

(Also for angst you could throw in a bit of “plus I feel responsible, because without the research we did in college, your parents would never have made their portal in the first place” or “I feel responsible because I kiiiinda pissed off a bunch of ghosts and all they know is ‘the halfa did it’ so that maaaybe why you’ve been seeing more ghost activity, idk lol.”)

Anyways give me an AU where we’ve got Vlad and Danny training in the basement at 1 am and Vlad’s trying to incorporate Danny’s school curriculum into the training because GOD KNOWS when he’d actually find time for THAT.

“Wait, can I try again? Just one more! One more run through…” Danny says, looking at Vlad with scorch marks on his face that have already begun to heal.

“Daniel, we’ve been at this for hours,” Vlad says, running a hand through his messy, singed hair. “I think that’s as good as it’s going to get tonight.”

“No!” says Danny, but quickly checks his volume, “No. Please, I… but I worked so hard on this power…if I could just–”

“And I know you did.” Vlad says, walking over to him, “I’m proud of how far you’ve come Daniel, but even halfas get exhausted.” He places his hands on Danny’s shoulders and the boy seems to consider this for a moment. But in the end…

“Just one more.”

Vlad sighs.

“You’re gonna be on all those business trips, we won’t meet up again for a month!”

“Fine.” Vlad relents, “Just one more drill. But after that you’ll need your rest.”

Vlad starts up the machines again as Danny gets into a ready position.

“Remember to breathe.” says Vlad as the starting lights blink down in sequence. He uses his own power to bring up a noise-reducing barrier around the training area.

-blink-

-blink-

“Begin.”

The first target pops out of the wall, close to the ceiling, and Danny flies up to meet it with an ecto-energized punch. The next one appears from the floor, so Danny blasts it with a basic beam. Once Vlad feels he’s got a rhythm he starts the study session again.

“What is the smallest group of biological classification?” He asks, watching his form carefully. Danny rolls out of the way of a hostile drone but still is able to answer.

“Species.”

“And the largest?” Vlad observes Danny blasting the drone.

-BOOM-

“Kingdom.”

“How many chromosomes does an individual human have?” Vlad continues. Danny goes intangible to avoid some debris.

“46.” He’s not missing a beat.

“What are the three major parts of a cell?” Two more hostile drones join the fray, and the young halfa starts to falter.

“The membrane, the, uh, cytoplasm, and the nucleus.”

“Is the cell membrane nonpermeable?”

“No,” Danny takes a couple heavy breaths, “It’s semipermeable.”

Vlad pauses upon reading the next one.

“What are the physical or chemical factors in genetic mutations called?”

“M… Mutagens.” Danny swallows dryly, his gaze shifting to the portal at the end of the room.

“What is the phase most cells spend the majority of their time in?”

“Crud, uh…” A drone explodes too close to Danny and he throws up his arms, forgetting to go intangible. The smoke makes his throat burn.

“… Interphase?” He finally coughs out.

“Correct. Pay attention now…”

Seven smaller drones appear from all directions, intent on overwhelming the young halfa. Danny flies up and ecto-punches through the highest one, then grabs it, somersaults, and throws it into the one directly below.

“Good!” Vlad says, standing up in his excitement. They both notice the other 5 drones coming in fast.

“What is the functional unit of heredity?”

“What’s the what of what?!?” Danny blurts out between blasting with one hand and swinging a panicked punch with the other.

“Get higher, try splitting!” Vlad says, abandoning the study guide and moving closer to the battlefield should his assistance be required.

Danny flies almost as high as he can go without phasing through the ceiling. He manages to get some distance between himself and the three remaining drones, but they are close behind.

Quickly he closes his eyes and grits his teeth, trying with all his might to imagine himself splitting into two entities.

“Okay, one more try.” he says to himself, “Kinda like Mitosis…” Somewhere in the back of his mind he can hear Vlad saying something, but he forces that away to keep his focus on the task at hand. Slowly Danny begins to feel what he can only describe as a peeling sensation– as if his “cells” were dividing in such a way that reminded him of when he would peel glue off his skin in elementary school– starting from his wispy tail, creeping up to where his legs should be…

Suddenly, a drone’s blast hits him squarely in the chest. Danny’s eyes snap open, all concentration lost. Belatedly he realizes his tail had reformed after having been split into two. A familiar pink beam takes out the offending drones.

“Danny!” Vlad says, eyes still glowing red, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Danny says as he floats down sullenly, “I’ll heal.” Vlad reaches out to guide him towards the spare workbench they use as a first aid station.

“Better put the salve on it just to be safe.” Vlad says. Danny sits down and watches Vlad take out the special formula he made in his own lab back in Wisconsin, then tosses himself back to lay on the bench.

“ARGH! I was SO close! Right? Was I close? Because it felt like I was close…”

“You were.” says Vlad, “But I think you should stick to the exercises I showed you while I’m gone.” He transforms and makes a few duplications to demonstrate, starting slow but getting faster with each iteration.

“Who knows, by the time I get back you may be splitting in circles around me.” Danny looks up and realizes all the Vlads are literally standing around him in a circle and laughs.

“Ha! So you’re making the jokes now?” He says as Vlad pulls it together.

“Believe it or not, my wit may be used to humor us both.”

“Pfft. Some wit. That was real 'cheesy’, Wisconsin Ghost.” Danny snickers at his own quip and Vlad rolls his eyes.

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Nope!” Danny says, “Say, what was that last question? On the guide?”

“The functional unity of heredity.”

“Geez that’s a lot of syllables for one thing.”

“Do you know the answer?”

“Uh…” Danny thinks for only a moment. Without the distraction of the fight, he quickly grasps the question.

“Oh! It’s genes!”

“Correct again, Little Badger.” Vlad says, handing off the small salve tin. “I think you will do well on the test tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” Danny says, detransforming. He yawns as his exhaustion catches up with him. Courteously, Vlad lends him a hand.

“Come, I’ll fly you upstairs before I go.”

Friday Night I (M)

Jimin x Reader x Jungkook

Prologue

Warnings: Oral (giving and receiving), voyeurism, exhibitionism, rough, daddy kink… (i think that’s it)

Word Count: 3,058

Summary: A simple game of truth or dare has taken a sharp left at some point, and you were perfectly okay with that.


“Jungkook, truth or dare?” he asked. The maknae’s ears perked up, and he wasted no time answering.

“Dare.” he looked at you and winked, as if he knew what was about to happen.

“Hmm.. Okay Jungkookie, I dare you to try to make y/n moan in under 30 seconds.” why are you their guinea pig? Oh yea, because you’re the only girl here. You stared at Taehuyng in disbelief, and you heard Jimin muttering a string of profanities under his breath. “Oh, and you can’t use your hands.”

Jungkook didn’t seem to be phased by this, and beckoned you over with two fingers, his gaze darkening as you decided to go to him. He patted his lap, and you sat in it, looking around and feeling somewhat shy about having an audience, but another part of you enjoyed it. You downed the rest of your drink and set it down before you turned to face Jungkook. He grabbed your hips with strength you didn’t know he had, and leaned in towards your neck.

“Start the time.” he told Taehyung, who had his phone out. As soon as Taehyung pressed ‘start’, you felt Jungkook’s soft lips on your neck, his tongue coming out to lick a strip up from your shoulder to your jaw. You were already worked up from the lapdance and your kiss with taehyung, and you felt heat pool within you once again. That’s when you suddenly felt him grab your hair and pull back, forcing you to expose more of your neck. He bit down hard at the same time, and you couldn’t help the strangled moan that tumbled out of your mouth. He pulled back at the sound, a look of triumph and lust in his eyes as he smirked down at you and licked his lips. “I guess you like it rough then, I’ll remember that.”

Confused, you pushed yourself off of his lap and went back to your spot, now frustrated, embarrassed and way too turned on to care about this game anymore. You poured yourself another drink as you waited for the next question.

“Jimin, truth or dare?”

“Dare.” he said immediately. What was with everyone today? I guess they don’t want to be exposed like Hoseok. Jungkook thought for a moment, and you kind of hoped that this dare included you.

“I dare you to have 7 minutes in heaven with y/n,” he said with a sly grin. You choked on the drink you had in your mouth and looked a Jungkook, not expecting him to have said that, given your earlier confession. Though you were shocked, you couldn’t help but feel slightly happy that it was with Jimin. Jungkook whispered something to Jin, and he nodded in response before standing up and walking towards the hallway. He looked over his shoulder and told you to follow him as he continued to walk. You hesitantly got up after Jimin looked at you, and followed Jin to a room at the end of the short hallway. He opened the door for the two of you and as soon as you stepped inside, you heard the door close and lock. What? Did he just lock us in? And why does it lock from the outside? As you were trying to come up with reasons as to why Jin would need a room that locked from the outside, Jimin cleared his throat and you turned to look at him.

“Come here,” he says as he pats the spot next to him on the bed. You look around the room for the first time, and realize you’ve never been in here. You’ve visited this house many times over the years, but you had never seen the inside of Jin’s room before. The walls were a pale grey, with black furniture and dark floors. There was a king sized bed in the middle of the room, draped in beautiful blood-red sheets. You walked towards the bed and sat down next to Jimin who looked at you, an unreadable expression on his face. He turns to you and smirks, “so, what am I doing to you in your fantasies kitten?”

His question threw you off, and you weren’t sure how to answer him. You had been friends for some time, but no one knew about your feelings until tonight. You had hoped that they would forget about it, but you realized that you’d never live this down. You fought with yourself, wondering if you should give in to him or if you should avoid the situation. Before you could make your decision, you felt him move closer, his breath fanning across the side of your face.

“Tell me kitten, I want to make you feel good” he whispered. You felt a shiver run through you as he moved his hand on top of your thigh, squeezing firmly. You stayed silent, but you didn’t pull away, giving him the go ahead to continue. Jimin moved his lips to your neck, noticing the mark Jungkook had left on you and bit down on the spot. Before you could control yourself you moaned at the feeling, and his tongue followed, soothing the slight sting. His hand moved up your thigh and closer to where you wanted him, his fingers slipping in between your legs as his hand continues to move towards you centre. When he was right where you wanted him, he moved his hand away and to the button of your shorts, “tell me if you want to stop.”

Keep reading

disappoint me daddy
  • dan and phil play dream daddy!! i messaged people abt this like a week and a half ago and immediately thought oh no what hell have i wished upon us but it is HERE
  • to be fair i am on my second watch so this isn’t. reacting
  • 0:47 and dan is already talking about barebacking i want to delete all of this

Keep reading

partners. | m

characters: g-dragon x reader ➵ genre: smut ➵ wc: 12.7k

Originally posted by s-tttop

summary: from childhood friends to business owners. too afraid to take it further, either your or jiyong has to make the first move.
author’s note: this is by far my longest work ever. i’m not gonna lie though, i’ve been living for these 5k+ fics, i’m gonna have to start writing more. and i know, i write a lot of g-dragon, don’t kill me for it.
masterlist
disclaimer 

Keep reading

Hurt Her and I’ll Kill You- Part 2

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam

Word Count: 1,344

Warnings: PWP, fingering, smut, just Dean smut in general

Request: You go on the hunt with the Winchesters but the journey is always better than the destination.

Author’s Note: I give half the credit to @crispychrissy because not only did she beta this for me, she helps me write better smut. So, thank you. If you want to be tagged, leave an ask or message and I’ll add you! Same goes for my Series Rewrite! If you want to request a fic, please send them in! I love writing what you guys want!

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom

Originally posted by bringmesomepie56

“Thanks for coming with us, Y/N.” Dean said, licking his lips. You looked over at him and bit your own lip, watching the way his tongue wet his bottom lip. Fuck, Dean just left you hot and bothered after that kiss and now he’s teasing you.

That fucker.

Keep reading

| Cute | Holoform!Bumblebee

“This better be good”

- the first words out of your mouth as you knocked on the door hard.

Sam answered almost immediately, as if he’d been waiting, eyes staring at you from under a mop of brown hair as his head popped out.

“Oh it is,” He verified, a smirk pulling up his lips. He leant against the doorframe. “Bee’s been nagging me to call you for ages.”

“Bee?” You rose an eyebrow, curiosity slightly pinched but the irritation at having to walk all the way over to Sam’s house still pricking you.

“Why didn’t he just come himself?” You muttered. Sam only supplied you with a slight shrug of his shoulders as you turned to walk to his garage.

“You better not get it on with my car, Y/N!” You heard him call. You slightly bristled, knowing he must’ve noticed the excitement you tried to hide at the fact that it was Bee who called you over.

“He’s not yours Sam!” You called back. “And get a haircut you dork! You look like a broom!”

You heard him yelp and looked back to see him run his hand into his slightly overgrown hair with a blanched face. Snickering to yourself, you entered the garage, letting his sounds trail off to silence.

The moment you entered, the bright yellow Camaro in the middle of the room instantly shook on it’s wheels.

You laughed as he transformed, quicker than you’d ever seen before, growing to his full height. He hunched slightly because of the short roof but his servos clicked rapidly, clearly excited.

“You look happy about something,” you teased, resting a hand on your hip.

Because I’m happy! Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof!” The song flowed from his speakers which made you give a very unattractive snort. Bumblebee nodded enthusiastically, going down on one knee so that you could see him better, and not have to look almost straight upwards to see his face.

You found yourself lost in the gaze of his impossibly blue optics for a moment, before shaking yourself out of it. “What did you want to show me?”

Bee blinked once, twice, slowly, then popped up again as if realizing that yes, he indeed wanted to show you something. His doorwings fluttered so childishly you almost cooed out loud.

He folded back down into his alt mode, the door opening smoothly without a creak.

“You want me to get inside?”

You – got it – sugar cakes,” came his voice in the distorted radio speech he used.

You rolled your eyes, sliding into the driver’s seat and buckling yourself in as a habit. Humming a tune under your breath, You tapped your fingers on the dashboard to the beat. Your other hand brushed a thumb over the AutoBot insignia in the middle of Bee’s wheel, your gaze growing soft.

“We’ve been through a lot together, haven’t we bud?” You exhaled lightly, remembering all the exciting - albeit terrifying and life threatening - adventures you’d gone through with the Cybertronian.

That we – have,” The words were also without his usual enthusiasm, thoughtful as if he were sharing the same sentiments you were feeling.

You rested your palm fully on the seat, feeling the warmth almost pulsing beneath your fingers, instead of cold leather. It reminded you yet again that Bee was a living being - a sentient, amazing being that you had had the opportunity to meet.

“What would I be without you?” You mused softly, not realizing you were thinking out loud and also failing to feel the seat belt tightening around you, as if hugging you close.

“But hey!” You broke yourself from your emotional state, putting your hands on the wheel, twisting and pretending to drive down a street.

You grinned, laughing as you gave it another spin and made car sounds. Bee went along with it, turning as if you were actually controlling him, the engine revving loudly and sending you into another fit of giggles.

“Sam would freak out if he saw me in his seat,” You snickered, imagining said control freak sputtering and demanding you to get out of his ‘special seat’.

“But you wouldn’t mind would you Bee? After all I’m your favourite.” You joked, nudging the wheel playfully.

“Oh I definitely don’t mind,” A voice next to you drawled.

You stiffened.

Your eyes slid over, and to the right there was a guy, casually leaning on the dashboard with his cheek on his palm. He smirked as he captured your gaze.

You screamed.

Unbuckling your seatbelt roughly and ignoring the whine of opposition from Bee, you threw it off you. You nearly fell headfirst out the car as you leaned to open the door, forgetting it was already ajar. Eventually you made it out, slamming the door shut and backing away.

Your chest heaved as you panted for breath. “Who the hell are you??
Afterwards you instead turned to your best friend of two years. “Bee! Who the hell is that?? Did you know he was in there?”

I did,” Came the short and almost cheeky answer.

“You did?” You asked, calmed down slightly, assured in the fact that Bee would never let someone harmful stay with you in the car but still on edge. “How long has he been in there?”

“Since the start of the conversation”

You turned around so fast you could have gotten whiplash. The same guy was now right behind you even though you hadn’t even seen him leave the car.

“I wasn’t asking you,” you narrowed your eyes, stepping back, putting some space between you. “I was asking Bee” You didn’t even try to censor who you were talking to, seeing as if he had been there the whole time he would have already witnessed who Bee was.

“But I am-”

“Shush!” You said, irritatedly. “Bee, why aren’t you answering me?”

Beautiful – calm down – listen to me”

“I am listening to you!” You said, clearly not getting whatever was going on.

“No you’re not,” Mystery guy said again, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I’m not talking to you” You felt as if you wanted to rip your hair out, your voice raising in pitch at your frustration.

“Y/N, calm down,” He stepped closer, resting a hand on your arm. You jerked back instantly.

“Don’t touch me!”

He hissed, and you saw that your nails had scratched three angry red lines in his skin. Your head cleared a bit and you couldn’t help the worry that flooded you.

“H-Hey wait, I’m sorry,” you stanmered. “Are you okay?”

He only chuckled raspily. “This is not how I expected this to go at all.”

At his calm output you found yourself levelling back to earth. “Who are you?” You frowned. “Why were you in…”

At the look in his eyes, realization suddenly dawned on you. “…in..Bee…”

“Bee?” You said incredulously.

“The one and only babe,” he grinned, winking the same impossible eyes, such a deep and baby blue it was like you could swim in them.

“But, you, how, what?”

He chuckled, lifting an arm to scratch at his head, an arm where there were no scratches that had just been there, as if healed already.

“Ratchet invented these holoforms for us to be able to blend in with humans better,” He said.

“Ratchet what??”

After a long explanation you stood in the same spot, blinking owlishly. Groaning, you leaned against the hood of the car. “I need to lie down.”

Bee laughed before coughing suddenly, dissolving into hacks that instantly worried you.

“Bee?” You said, still in slight disbelief but coming to terms with the fact that was standing right before you.

“I-I’m alright,” he rubbed his throat, and you suddenly noticed that he had been speaking hoarsely the entire time, but now it was like a rake was being dragged down his throat. “Talked too much.”

That’s right, his vocal processor was never properly fixed, You thought sadly.

“Will you be ok?” You asked.

I’ll be – fine,” The radio spoke from his alt.

“Just can’t talk for a while after this,” Bee spoke again.

You grew disoriented from his different forms speaking. “That’s so weird.”

You bit your lip absentmindedly, tracing your eyes over the male. Shaggy golden locks that curled right beneath his ears, sky sapphire eyes and a smooth jawline. Unsurprisingly, the rest of his body was adorned in black and yellow articles of clothing.

“Holoform…right? Holo like hologram?” You asked. “Does that mean…can I…?” You raised a hand tentatively.

“Go ahead,” He prompted, putting his palm up, hovering in front of yours. You ventured closer, swallowing before letting your hand slowly connect with his. Your eyebrows visibly lifted when the tips of your fingers brushed warm skin, instead of phasing right through him.

“Wow,” you breathed and dashed your caution to the wind as you pressed your hand fully to his. “It feels…You feel so-”

“Real?” He grinned toothily, interlocking his fingers with yours. “It’s not. But pretty awesome right?”
He stared at your interlocked hands. “I’ve always wanted to do this with you.”

You ignored the way your stomach fluttered at those words, still in awe. “Wow Bee, just wow. I don’t know what to say.”

You’d been expecting something when you went over Sam’s house, but definitely not this!

“Shh,” he put a finger to your lips before leaping back with the grin still attached to his face. “Then don’t! Let me amaze you”

There was a small flash of light and then Bee was dressed differently, a leather jacket over a yellow ripped shirt that slightly showed his abdomen. There were boots with chains climbing up his legs and fingerless gloves on his hands. He leaned against his alt, sunglasses glinting.

Bee tilted the sunglasses down and peered over the top of them. “Impressed?”

You were silent for a few extra moments before you broke out into laughter once more.

Bee looked adorably confused. You just laughed harder.

“Oh Bee!” You wheezed. Something about the bad boy look on Bee had you in fits. He just looked so clueless, like a five year old kid dressed in ripped jeans and trying to look cool. “No matter how you try to look tough, you’re just too cute.”

Bee’s cheeks flamed and he lost his confident persona, sputtering. There’s the Bee you knew.

“But, but I,” He actually whined, crossing his arms. “Y/N!

You were too busy rolling on the floor to hear him, and Bee contemplated running you over underneath the tires.

“What? That’s a good thing!” You gasped, getting up and leaning on his alt for help. “Isn’t it?”

“Cute?” He murmured angrily, storming over to you. His hands came to box you in and you had barely stopped your laughter when you noticed that he had trapped you on his hood.

You felt your heartbeat pick up as he leaned closer, and you could count every golden eyelash framing narrowed, intense blue. “Am I cute now?” His voice had dropped, and due to the fact that it had already been hoarse, the depth only made a shiver run up your back.

You controlled your breathing, steeling yourself before looking up as if thinking.

“Yes, yes you are,” You said before poking him directly underneath his ribcage. He froze, letting out a giggle.

A giggle.

You lost yourself to laughter again as he whined in the background, and the car revved angrily.

Y/N!”


[If Bee thought your reaction was bad, he definitely changed his mind when Sam let out a high pitched shriek when he came into the garage to check on you, throwing a chair at him.]


[MasterList]

Try Not To (Jungkook x Reader Fluff/Slight Smut)

Summary: “Try not to get nervous.”

(( Note: another story for the youngest member who stands on top. In this one I more so like the bickering than the actual ‘fluff’ or ‘smut’ which is so so so mild I warn you. So, idk about this one at all :(( Either way, I hope you all enoy! ))


Could you have taken any longer, holy fuck.

It was a far late into a chilly Sunday night and you were standing outside your friend’s door clutching your tote bag against your chest and curling your toes against the rubber soles of your not-so-appropriate flip flops you when sporting. A combination of that plus a thin cardigan and pajama shorts were definitely not the greatest outfit choice when in this close-to-frozen mid-February weather. In your defense, it wouldn’t have been as horrifyingly cold as it was if it weren’t for Jeon Jungkook who took his sweet as time answering the door.

Fifteen minutes to be exact.

Keep reading

Writing #4

Non-binary Sirius!
-
Sirius entered the common room. They could see comfortable sofas, armchairs and pillows absolutely everywhere, and a main fireplace. There were windows looking out on the grounds, and they could see the grass and flowers still sprinkled on the ground, and the lake they had just come through. Looking back into the room, Sirius observed portraits and books. Then they saw the two staircases.
Two.
Presumably, they thought, one leading to the girls’ dormitories, and one leading to the boys’…
“Hey!” a loud voice exclaimed, interrupting their thoughts. Sirius turned around to see James smiling widely and looking around excitedly. “I had no idea it would be this big! Look, there’s where we’re not going to do our homework, and that’s where we’ll plan pranks, and here…”
James’ voice faded as Sirius started to panic. There were TWO staircases. And they were NOT a boy, or even a girl.
Shit. Shit shit shit. They had never come out to anyone about who they truly were. What if they had to put on a huge fake smile and just go up the stairs to the boys’ dormitories with James? What if the stairs rejected them? Sirius had heard rumors about stairs turning into slides if you weren’t the right gender. The staircases to come up here were already hectic, so they were ready to believe anything. Even worse, what if they WERE allowed to go up? Would that mean… that they weren’t actually non-binary?
Fuck, now Sirius was questioning their entire existence. What if this was what people would think it was: just a phase, or a way to rebel from their parents? No. They weren’t a boy. And they weren’t a girl. They were… somewhere in between. They still hadn’t figured it out yet, but Sirius still cringed when people called them by he/him pronouns. This wasn’t the time to think about how much they hated that, though, because James was tugging on their sleeve and leading them to Remus and to the staircase.
“James, I- James…”
“What is it? Come on, I wanna go see the size of the beds!”
“I- I don’t…”
Sirius was looking around frantically, trying to find an excuse to extend their time in the common room. They were trying to smile as if everything was fine and they had just spotted something cool behind James’ shoulder, but James could see how worried Sirius looked.
“Hey, man, what is it?”
Sirius grinded their teeth.
“Um, well… don’t you want to go explore the castle first? Right, Remus?”
Sirius looked around James at Remus. Remus had seemed the sort of person they could trust, a kind individual who laughed softly and looked at everyone with a certain happiness.
“Uhhh… I guess?”
“Exactly! Let’s go- let’s go explore!”
“But, Sirius… Didn’t the headmaster tell us to go to bed?”
“Well, Remus, this’ll be our first bit of rule-breaking! Are you guys in?”
“Are you okay, Sirius?” James asked, concerned. “You look nervous about something.”
“Of course! I’ve just never gotten out after my bed time, is all!”
James and Remus exchanged looks.
Suddenly, Peter, another person Sirius had met on the train, showed up and planted himself in front of James.
“H-hey James! I heard we were in the same dorm! Wanna go see?”
“Yeah, let’s go see where we’re placed, Sirius, then we’ll sneak out,” James promised, then turned and started up the stairs with Peter. Obviously, the stairs didn’t reject them and they went up a bit further before sticking their heads into a doorway and loudly exclaiming.
“Wow! You’ve gotta come see this!” James called.
Remus, still downstairs, turned his head to look at Sirius for a second before yelling “We’ll be up in a second!” and grabbing Sirius by the bicep. Remus brought Sirius into a darker part of the empty common room and sat down on an armchair.
“What’s going on, Sirius?”
Sirius moved their eyes up from the ground but kept their head down. They rubbed their nose and ran their hand through their hair.
“Is it something about not wanting to be in a dorm with us? You can tell me, I won’t be offended,” Remus said as he took his turn at looking down at the carpet.
“No, that’s… that’s not it at all. I just, uh… I…”
They were going to have to tell Remus. With no preparation, no ideas on how how to break it to him, no courage. They had not planned on coming out this way at all. They just couldn’t do this, they couldn’t tell him about not being a boy or a girl. They were rocking slowly on the sofa cushion now, thinking this over, and a silence established itself. They could tell Remus was going to give them as much time as necessary to tell him what was wrong. But Sirius just couldn’t do it! They had only just met Remus and they actually didn’t really know what he was like. What if he had grown up in a homophobic and transphobic and everything-phobic family like theirs? What if he had opinionated retorts? What if he completely rejected Sirius? What if he told everyone?
Sirius had too many questions and too many doubts. They just couldn’t do this.
“I’m- I’m sorry. I can’t tell you right now.”
Remus was looking at them strangely. Sirius could almost see the cogs turning in his mind, trying to figure why they wouldn’t want to go up the staircase.
“Oh. Oh! Is it… I don’t know if you’ll find it’s weird, or offensive, that I thought this could be the reason why you don’t want to go up there, but… are you trans?”
Taken aback, Sirius looked up surprisingly. Their brows were high on their face.
“Um… that’s…”
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, oh my gosh. Uh- well- um, I’m sorry-”
“No, it’s… it’s fine… it’s just that that’s not exactly it…”
Remus’ naivety had saved them. He must have been brought up in a really positive and accepting family to assume that Sirius wouldn’t be at least disgusted by his assumption. Remus definitely hadn’t seemed grossed out himself at potentially having a transgender roommate, so wasn’t that a good sign? He had just seemed so worried that he had offended Sirius, not that there was anything offensive about being trans. Sirius was smiling now.
“No, it’s just that I- I’m not trans, I’m… I’m non-binary. I’m… actually not sure what I am, exactly, but I’m just- I’m not a boy. So… I don’t- I don’t know where to go.”
Remus was open-mouthed, but his expression disappeared quickly to be replaced by a warm smile.
“Oh. Okay, well, I just- I wondered if you were nervous for the same reason as me, because I’m- I’m trans and I’m really scared the stairs won’t let me up.”
They were both grinning nervously now.
“That… that problem is still there, though. And James and Peter are expecting us…” Sirius trailed off, and they both started panicking again about where they had to go, or if they even had beds for themselves.
Sirius picked at some strings coming out of the armchair they were sitting on. There seemed to be only two options: stay down here and wait for Peter and James to ask them a million questions, or try to go up the stairs.
“I don’t doubt that you’re a real boy, Remus, so you would be able to go up, but I’m… I’m not. There’s no staircase for someone that’s neither a boy nor a girl.”
All of a sudden, a voice “tut-tutted” behind Remus. Sirius looked up to see a portrait of a person wearing period clothing and a large hat, waving their finger.
“You just have to look for it, Sirius,” said the person in the portrait.
“I… who are you?”
“I’m Sarah. Unfortunately, in my time, I was not allowed to change my name, so people usually treated me as a girl, when I am not one. I was faced with this same problem when I came to Hogwarts, dear. The staircase reveals itself to those who need it, and it will offer you a choice: you can choose a special room, just for you, or you can choose a pathway to friends whom you know will accept you. I chose the staircase to my best friend’s room, and he ended up being… not who I thought he was. But Remus here, he’s a boy, and you already know he is accepting of any gender. He will be able to go up the boys’ stairs, and you will find the special staircase.”
“I…”
Sirius was surprised. They had never heard of non-binary people in olden days. They would have to talk more to this Sarah to learn about their experiences.
“Where is the staircase?”
“I told you, dear, you’ll find it on your own, once Remus has left the common room,” Sarah said, and then they turned to Remus. “You’ll be able to go join your friends upstairs, sweetie.”
Sarah smiled warmly and promptly walked out of their portrait.
Sirius was still wide-eyed. A portrait had just directly spoken to them and told them what to do. The portraits at home just fired off curses and insults.
“So…” Remus smiled. “I’ll see you upstairs?”
“I… yeah, I… I guess.”
Remus put a hand on their shoulder and then walked to the boys’ stairs. He took a deep breath and climbed the first few steps. Nothing happened. He grinned, looked at Sirius one more time, and disappeared up the steps.
Everyone had gone up to bed now, and Sirius was alone. They looked around the room, trying to find a clue, but they didn’t have to search long before hearing a “click” between the two normal staircases. They turned around and saw a wall separating, revealing a small set of steps leading up to a source of light. Sirius gathered their courage and made their way to the other side of the room and up the stairs. The wall closed behind them.
They were in a small lounge, chairs and couches everywhere, and they could see an open door. Beyond that door was a room containing a few beds and a sink. Everything was decorated lavishly, and everything was clean and non-dusty, although this room didn’t seem to be used very often. But what caught their attention was another, spiralling set of stairs, leading up into the ceiling. They guessed that whichever friend they thought of, this staircase would lead them to them. Sirius was ready.
They concentrated hard on Remus, with his messy light brown hair and warm, amber eyes, and started up the stairs.

Prank Wars - Part 1: So it begins

Characters: Y/N Y/L/N, Chris Evans, Ellen DeGeneres, random journalists, Sebastian Stan,

Pairing: Chris x Singer!Reader

Warnings: Don’t scare your girlfriend??? None really lol.      

Word Count: 1100ish

A/N: This first part is written for my all time favorite Marvel writer’s Cards Against Humanity challenge. If you love Chris and/or Seb and their marvel characters be sure to go check out the amazing @emilyevanston

My prompt for her challenge was: Poor life choices and it is highlighted in the fic - though I also kiiiinda used it as a theme for this entire series. Part two will be written by @blacktithe7 so look out for that one. If you want on the series taglist follow the masterlist link which will take you to our taglist doc.  

Thanks a billion to blacktithe7 for betaing and writing this series with me. I love you girl, and I love we finally found something to work together on.

MASTERLIST

You felt absolutely horrible as you stepped out of the car onto the red carpet. You saw the faces of every journalist turn to shock when they saw Chris. The flashes instantly went crazy. Well, they always were on the red carpet, but it seemed as if they were all aimed at you and Chris at the moment. You had done your best to help him cover his eye, but the rapidly forming colors were still very visible, especially in the harsh light of the many camera flashes.

You felt horrible enough as it was. The journalists shouting at Chris asking him what happened didn’t make you feel even the slightest bit better.

Poor life choices,” Chris smirked at a few of the journalists, wrapping his arm around your waist, giving your hip a small squeeze. “I’m fine baby. Quit worrying,” Chris whispered in your ear before pressing a kiss to your cheek. You looked up into his blue eyes just as he sent you that million dollar smile of his that never failed to make you weak in the knees. “Besides, it was my own fault anyway,” he spoke softly making you smile and shake your head slightly as you remembered how his eye had gotten to be so colorful.

Keep reading

Get Pranked

Pairing: Clint x F!Reader

Request:

a clint x reader where everyone is having a prank war?


Clint has created a chatroom.

Clint has added Y/N.

Clint: babe

Clint: babe!

Clint: BABE

You: Did someone text me? Not sure.

Clint: BAAAAABE.

You: Oh it’s my love. Hey.

Clint: loki managed to prank me

Clint: that means I’m losing the war I started. If I get pranked again, I’m defeated.

Clint: that makes me sad.

Keep reading

we get it, you’re gay.
my sexuality is not a shirt that I take off at the end of each day, it is not dirty. I do not dress myself in lesbianism just for the fashion perks; homophobia is not in style. i am not a living light switch, I do not turn myself off to solve all your problems, my light will not go out because it’s too bright for you.
we get it, you’re gay.
if I stop talking about it, it will not go away. I would say I am sorry to disappoint but I am not sorry, I am gay, I am very gay and I am not sorry for who I am, I am only sorry that you have a problem with self-liberation and confidence.
we get it, you’re gay.
I can tell when someone is uncomfortable and my sexuality is making you uncomfortable, you are upset that I am comfortable in my own skin, you are upset that I am comfortable with the fact that I love girls and you are uncomfortable about the fact that I won’t shut up. you can’t silence my sexuality, actions speak louder than words.
we get it, you’re gay.
you don’t mind that I’m gay you just don’t want me to be too gay, because being too gay is distracting. you want me to be quiet gay, nice gay, understanding gay, your-gay-friend gay, let-you-get-away-with-everything gay. I can like girls but I’m supposed to whisper that kind of thing, not shout it. the neighbors aren’t supposed to hear.
we get it, you’re gay.
you say you understand, but you’d rather just push it under the rug. it’s okay if I’m gay, but I shouldn’t rub it in your face. you don’t mind, you say, but you can’t help but notice how many people are gay these days and you assume it must be some kind of practical joke. I am not a joke, my life is not some riddle, do you see me laughing? this is not funny.
we get it, you’re gay.
oh, I’m just rebellious, I’ve been told. a rebellious teen confused by the media, so tell me, where is my army? where are my hundreds of thousands of lgbt soldiers, ready to fight this war on love? we stand united but we are not armed, because if we bring the weapons we have guaranteed ourselves a two-minute five o'clock news slot, tragic tragedy, one-more-gay-gone, let’s save the world, let’s save the gays.
we get it, you’re gay.
“lesbians have ruined flannels for me” because the community was supposed to ask for a style after you denied us basic human rights? I’m sorry gay girls have ruined plaid for you, but it never looked too great on you anyway. maybe you should stick to solid colors; if you put too many shades on one shirt, it might look like a rainbow and someone might accidentally think you’re gay. can’t have that.
we get it, you’re gay.
don’t annoy the straights! eyes wide open, avoiding ticking bombs of discrimination, it happens all the time but there’s no way to prepare yourself for hate speech coming from the mouth of your mother or your teacher or your best friend. I bite my tongue to keep from coming out but you’re just so sure that you can trust me, I’ll get it, no offense, no hard feelings, I will understand.
we get it, you’re gay.
I am not going to hit on you, just because I like girls does not mean that I like you, I love myself and I love being gay. do not make my sexuality about you, my life does not revolve around you. I’ve undressed in front of you my entire life but now you insist on changing in the next room. you don’t say it, but I know. I’m not a friend, I’m a predator.
we get it, you’re gay.
you can ramble all day about how that kid in your physics class is just to die for, but the second I mention that a girl in my history class is cute then all eyes are burning holes into my skin. you don’t have to bring your gay with you everywhere, leave it at home most days, it’s too embarrassing to share.
we get it, you’re gay.
I don’t look gay enough, I’ve heard. do I need to carry a sign with me everywhere to broadcast that I Am Not Straight, I am g-a-y gay, rainbows all over my body and in my back pocket, just so you can see?
we get it, you’re gay.
oh, but you tell me that I am not gay I am not gay because I am a girl that likes girls, I can only use the word lesbian. I didn’t know that I erased my name tag and handed it to you, I didn’t know that you were in charge of what I called myself, I didn’t know you were allowed to police my labels; I never asked for your opinions but that never stopped you anyway, do you understand?
we get it, you’re gay.
so, by gay, do you mean really gay or just a little gay? lipstick lesbian, three-way fantasy, am I right? what stereotype would you like to claim, or would you prefer that I choose?
we get it, you’re gay.
truth or dare has always been a death sentence for me, and anyone that says that party games aren’t lethal doesn’t know pure poison, I grew up drinking venom from vodka bottles because alcohol was nothing to a child on the run. so explain to me why I would stop now.
we get it, you’re gay.
in every wedding aisle there’s a “mr.” and a “mrs.” who’s the man in the relationship, they’ll ask us, nothing about us is traditional but they’ll insist we wear white anyway. marriage equality, what else are you fighting for?
I get it, you’re straight.
you’re the cool straight friend. you’re the best straight friend any gay person could ever have, asking for fashion advice and introducing me as your “gay friend.” you say that you have a pretty great gaydar, and you knew all along. do you also know that I want you to shut the fuck up?
I get it, you’re straight.
capital s “Straight,” straight as a telephone pole, straighter than a ruler. so straight and everyone knows without you saying a word because you people are everywhere. you’re on cereal boxes and billboards and in every television show. you’re the main character but we’re just there for a little drama, an episode or two, and then we’re gone.
I get it, you’re straight.
you have never had to come out of the closet because you were never in one to begin with, you own the entire house and didn’t even give us enough room to be. has anyone ever told you how dark and crowded a closet is? it is so hard to breathe with so little space to exist, I’m surprised my thoughts didn’t suffocate me over the years, would you have even noticed?
I get it, you’re straight.
you’re a girl and you like boys, only boys. I mean, everyone experiments in college, right? everyone loves that song, I kissed a girl, because everyone loves just to give being gay a try without the weight of what it really means. it’s not cheating if it’s with a girl, right? right?
I get it, you’re straight.
no homo, bro! holding hands, sharing drinks, making eye contact, it’s not gay, no homo. just two pals being gals, no homo, don’t worry, we’re straight!
I get it, you’re straight.
you have learned how to hate since the moment you were born. no worries, I have been too, but I unlearned heteronormativity so I could fall in love with myself. you preach it every sunday in church and every weekday at work, you learn that serving me is optional, that you can turn me away because you don’t like who I love.
I get it, you’re straight.
lets talk about me as a topic of class discussion, I am the focus of today’s debate, go. argue your stance. do you think this girl at table three should have the right to get married, the right to adopt, the right to buy milk, the right to exist? do you think this girl at table three is just trying to fit in? do you think the girl at table three should be allowed to go to prom? tell me, let’s talk about the girl at table three, no harm done.
I get it, you’re straight.
you are in every book I’ve ever read. the love stories are always about you, how can you expect me to grow up and not feel flawed? these novels teach me to hate who I am, it’s a miracle in and of itself that I’m still here.
I get it, you’re straight.
“there’s a war on straight people,” excuse me? we are just beginning to come out of the shadows because the earth is only now a little less haunted and you have the audacity to say that you are the ones under attack?
I get it, you’re straight.
every step we take is monitored and broadcast for the world to see. you are just a person allowed to make your own decisions but everything I do respresents my entire community and there is no space for me to make mistakes. I am not perfect but I am trying.
I get it, you’re straight.
you say that me being gay is not a big deal to you, it could be anyone, no big deal, not at all. but it’s a big deal to me, this wasn’t an easy thing to say. why should I silence myself, am I overreacting?
I get it, you’re straight.
there’s no rule book for being an ally and sometimes the borders become a little blurred, it’s easy to cross a line. I will help guide you but I will not hold your hand. I cannot always be there to watch the words that trickle out of your mouth, you have to remember that I am a secret.
I get it, you’re straight.
please stop talking about me like I am the latest news story, I am not a headline in big bold font, sometimes I just need a moment to breathe. I have these words printed into my skin just like a newspaper and I’ve never been more black and white.
I get it, you’re straight.
what’s it like to be gay? oh, you know what I mean, so when did you know? which girl turned you gay? why did you lie to us, how many times have you done it with a girl, what about with a guy? how can you be gay if you’ve never done anything? can you ever really know? what if it’s all a phase?
I get it, you’re straight.
the words we identify ourselves by are your insults. they lock us up for holding hands, they criminalize and sexualize our daily activities because they don’t want us corrupting the children. I’ve spent my entire life in an invisible prison with see-through shackles, this is on my permanent record.
I get it, you’re straight.
have you ever considered that my backpack is heavy because I have to carry the weight of your judgment to and from school every day, I have to carry a fire extinguisher in my lunch box because these toxic words are flammable. I might break my back but at least you don’t know.
I get it, you’re straight.
what’s it like to be “normal”? to never have to deal with the undercover I’m-sorry-for-you stares from the kids in the hallway, the I’ll-pray-for you promises spoken by nice ladies in their sunday best?
we get it, you’re gay.
when I’m telling my love story I do not want to lie. I will not censor the pronouns to protect the innocent because my happiness is not guilt-ridden. I am leaving this book open.
—  we get it.
Worry

Note: the title sucks but i hope the imagine doesn’t. thank you so much for the request! I hope you like it. FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS WELCOME (really, I love reading your cute comments) ♥ .c

Request: May I request one where you are newly-married and express worry that Bucky would leave you for someone? Like Natasha maybe?

Originally posted by luvinchris


Being married to Bucky was no different than when you two were just boyfriend and girlfriend, it was just a much bigger commitment, and you both were happy together. The romance is top notch, the butterflies still erupt in your stomach when he looks at you with those blue eyes of his, and you two have kept that connection between each other. None of the good changed. And none of the bad changed, either.

Bucky is best friends with Natasha, and you’ve always felt insecure when you and Bucky were around her, which is quite often and will remain so until you and Bucky find a house to live in. 

It just terrified you to think that she could easily steal Bucky away from you. She was everything you weren’t and she was close to Bucky. Maybe not as close as you and him, or even Steve-of course not-but it was a type of close that makes you worry.

You were anxiously biting your fingernails as you sat alone in the kitchen. You had just gotten back from your amazing honeymoon with Bucky today, since you two had gotten married just a week before, and he was now on a take-out run with Natasha. She was so happy when he got back, and even though she hugged your neck, too, she held Bucky a lot longer.

It was wrong to doubt Bucky, and you also doubt Natasha. She wasn’t a huge threat but it was enough to make you start an old habit you kicked after getting close with Bucky. You always bit your nails when you had nightmares, felt anxious, and were at war with your demons. The more you thought about it, the more you bit at your nails, even the skin. You just couldn’t shake the thoughts away.

You quickly stopped chewing at your nails when you heard the elevator ding, signaling that someone was about to get out. You sat still and tried your best to keep your fingers away from your teeth.

Your stomach dropped as you heard Natasha’s boisterous laugh echo throughout the area, only for it to die down as her and Bucky walked into the kitchen with a few bags. The smell of Chinese food filled your nostrils. “Hi, Doll!” Bucky cooed as he leaned down to kiss your head. You put on a fake smile and watched them unload the bags.

Natasha told FRIDAY to let the others know that food was here before she turned to you, giving you a white box of food. Her expression wasn’t all that friendly. Her smile was gone and her eyes were cold. You gently took it from her and Bucky watched, noticing a trickle of blood coming from the skin around your index finger.

“Are-are you biting your nails again?” Bucky quietly questioned, stacking his boxes of food on top of each other. His eyebrows were creased and he looked at you with those blue eyes and you bit back your tears, quickly wiping the red liquid on your jeans. “Y-yeah, I am. I’m gonna eat in the room if that’s okay.” You said quietly, hopping off the stool and making your way to the elevator.

Bucky followed after you, his long strides giving him a speedy advantage. “Why are you biting your nails again, Y/N?” Bucky asked, looking down at you as the elevator took you to your shared bedroom. You sighed and stared at the mass amount of floor room buttons. “No reason.” You all but whispered. Bucky scoffed softly.

“You don’t get to do that to me. Tell me what’s going on.” Bucky pushed further, his voice laced with concern and worry. You inhaled deeply and titled your head back a tad, tears brimming your eyes again. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You replied just as the elevator doors opened. Bucky followed after you, hot on your heels. “Tell me what it is, right now! You broke that habit a year ago!” Bucky nearly shouted, his voice thick. He was so frightened that your nightmares were back, or maybe you were dealing with something and hadn’t confided in him.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you shoved the bedroom door open and set your food down on the bedside table. Bucky stood there expectantly, his eyes glued to you. “Y/N, I’m not going to ask again. You’re scaring me.” Bucky whispered the last part, his jaw clenching with nervousness. You turned to face him and shrugged your shoulders. “I-I don’t know..” You trailed off, averting your eyes away from Bucky.

He sighed heavily and set his food down beside yours. “It’s me, Y/N. Please, tell me what’s wrong.” Bucky pleaded. Your lip quivered and Bucky’s left hand lifted to caress your cheek. A single tear fell from your eyes and Bucky breathed out. “You don’t-did you not want to marry me?” Bucky’s eyes filled with tears and you gasped, looking up at him.

“Of course I did, Bucky! I’m just-I don’t know how to say it!” You sobbed, quickly wiping at your cheeks. “Well, please! You’re scaring me!” Bucky repeated as his chest heaved up and down. You shook your head and took a deep breath. “I’m scared, Bucky!” You squeaked. Bucky stepped towards you and his heart started to pound in his chest. 

“What are you scared of?” Bucky’s lip quivered slightly, his hand reaching out for your arm; he hoped it wasn’t him. “I’m scared that-that you’re going to leave m-me for Natasha!” You spoke through your sobs and Bucky’s hands slowly lifted to rest on your cheeks as he processed what you just said.

Bucky’s eyes looked back and forth between yours and you inhaled shakily, moving backwards to sit on the bed. “Y/N, that will never happen. Don’t you know how much I love you?” Bucky asked, sinking down onto his knees in front of you. He placed his hands on either side of you and you sniffled harshly, your eyes blurry from your tears.

“Doll, I love you so much. I wouldn’t-God, I’d never leave you for anyone. You’re the one for me. Nobody else.” Bucky whispered, resting his forehead on your knee. You heard a soft sob come from him and you let your hand rest on his head.

“Bucky, I just-” You took another deep breath, not holding anything back. “-Natasha is so close to you. I can’t help but feel like one day you’re going to fall asleep holding me, then wake up with her on your mind.” You whispered, running your hands through Bucky’s hair.

Bucky’s head shot up and his puffy eyes stared into yours. “Doll, that won’t happen. I promise you. I promised you at the alter, and I’ll make that promise again. Every day for the rest of our lives.” Bucky quickly leaned up to capture your lips with his and you sighed into the kiss, your eyes immediately fluttering shut.

You felt Bucky leaning you backwards, his hands holding you close as he hovered above you. Bucky pulled away and placed a kiss on your forehead, and made his way around your face until he kissed your lips again. Your stomach erupted with butterflies and you couldn’t help but let a small smile show.

Bucky pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. “Y/N, I love you so much. You have no idea.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and nodded your head gently. “I think I do. I love you more than anything.” You said softly, pulling Bucky in for another kiss.

All of your worries faded away that night.

Note: I hope this doesn’t suck. I feel like it sucks. FEEDBACK IS WELCOME! .c

Permanent Tag List: @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes, @abloggernamedsecretly, @untrusted-statue, @our-teenwolf-fam, @littlemissacorn, @its-not-a-phase-hux, @dontfuckwithkezolas, @letsrunwithdream, @thyotakukimkim, @widowbite-legit, @learisa, @heidijames28, @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x, @theassetseyeliner, @thatsportyavengerpower, @fantasticallyabnormal, @jenn0755, @this-blog-belongs-to-v, @lostinspace33, @morganosborn101, @mxye, @diving-down-to-wonderland, @miraisnotavailable, @ballerinafairyprincess, @unluckyybuckyy, @earinafae, @betherz5683, @wagatla, @frickin-bats, @sparklydestiel, @charlesgrey1875, @potterhead1265, @domcaaa996, @poshspicehaz, @tori1385, @thelifeofadino, @bubblyanarocks3, @jaybird6232, @curlyexpat, @chimera4plums, @gallifreyansass, @seeyainanotherlifebrotha, @ria132love, @saharzek, @fridamoss, @tongueofareadywriter, @seamaiden, @killpop-writes, @jaydenval, @ccrossfire, @cassandras-musings, @armpratt, @katsfandump, @mcfuccfairy

(if you want to be removed or added, send me a message! strike means I couldn’t tag you!)