i think he gave up on trying to stop me

Facades are only distractions - Jack Gilinsky Imagine (requested)

A/N: This is actually kinda sad, so the warning here really is that it gets a little deep into the feeling of heartbreak (not too deep)

MASTERLIST

Y/n’s POV

Everywhere I went, I saw him. He was always around her, laughing, smiling. It hurt. The feeling of his lips still lingers on my skin. His warm touch, his fingers gliding through my hair gave me goosebumps. He was still consuming me. I need to stop, I can’t be willing to be hurt by him. He gave up on us to find love somewhere else. He didn’t try, he didn’t think about me, he just went for it, leaving me behind in the rain, Watching them from afar, sulking at the fact he didn’t choose me. Now she’s the one who gets to enjoy his humour, the one to feel his lips trailing her skin, his soft touch. Everything I’ve experienced, only on another girl.

The thoughts about Jack halt, as I see them. They were leaning against the lockers, laughing, smiling at the other like they were their world. I remember when I felt his smile, it was directed at me, brightening my day, always.

Suddenly his head turns, his smiles falters slightly as his eyes glance over to me. I pull my sweater, closer to my body, to try and cover his gaze. I look back up, his eyes still glued on to me. They showed pity, sympathy and what it seemed like, hurt. Good, he should feel the hurt he put me through, of course, the one he had to face, didn’t crush him, didn’t leave him wanting to change everything. He had the easy way out.

Jack begins to let the conversation go, walking to me at a slow pace. My mind blurs for a second before I notice I’m walking the other way. I didn’t want him near me, not when I was too sure I’d break. I make a beeline for the school entrance, rushing out before the bell has the time to ring.

I hear him, I know he’s coming after me. He’s almost there. I know I can’t outrun him, I know I could never do that. So when his hand grabs my shoulder, I halt. But I’m too afraid to turn. Afraid he’ll see the tears begging to slide down my skin, the hurt and pain he’d caused me. Even after what he’d done to me, I didn’t want him to see the pain he caused. Because he knows me far too well to know that he’d broken me. And that’s killing him.

He was never the one to cause a person pain. He’d gone through too much of that in his life.

“Y/n,” my name softly slides through his chapped lips, a whisper. He sounds almost begging.

I don’t want to turn to him, but if I have to get rid of this aching problem, I have to face it first.

So, as I turn, the thoughts of another being able to hold him flood my brain. The tears threatening to spill, slip. One lonely tear, slides down my cheek, hitting the dry leaves that we’d been standing on. I don’t meet his eyes, I’m staring down, at my shoes, wishing I could be anywhere but here.

His finger lifts my chin, my eyes forced to meet his. His touch sends a warm glow over my body.

“She’s no one, please understand that,” he says it do delicately like the information could break me. I don’t believe him, I see the way he looks at her, it’s the way he looked at me, he’s in love.

“Don’t lie to me Jack, please. If you want to stop causing me pain, just don’t lie.” My words are strong, fierce, backing up the facade I’m putting on. The lump in my throat grows, it’s build up, and soon, I’m sure I won’t be able to talk.

“I’m not lying, she’s no one. I’m not in love with her, Y/n, I could never fall again after you.” My breaths hitched, and I’m chewing on my lip, a nervous habit. Why’d he say that? He hurt me, yet he’s the one experiencing withdrawals? I know I should feel bad for him, but anger and passion grow and soon I’m seeing red.

“You think you’re facing the worst of this Jack? You have no idea what if feels like to have the person you love most in the world, tell you it’s over! Leaving you like it was easy! You have no idea of the pain I had to go through! But thanks to you, I found myself. I found out who I really am.” I’d moved my shoulder so his hand fell to his side. I’d taken a step closer, my voice rising. The anger pulsed through my veins, the adrenaline was pumping. I was on a high.

“This isn’t you Y/n! You’ve never been the one to rebel! You are kind, sweet, smart, everything but this! Please, just come back, come back to me,” his voice broke, tears were building up, I could see the glossiness of his eyes. I know this isn’t me. Wearing stuff like this, missing school, skipping class, it’s all just not me. I’m not a person to do this, I never have been. But after everything Jack put me through, this was when I felt less pain. Emotions were white noise, drifting in the background, the pain was less felt. I didn’t feel like drowning anymore, I didn’t feel like the whole world was on my chest. I didn’t feel weak, vulnerable or pathetic anymore. I felt strong. But this was all but true. I felt it, but it wasn’t real. It was only a facade, one that I didn’t truly believe was the real me. It was only a distraction, a suffocation of where I could hide away from my problems.

“Please, I need you. I can’t breathe when you’re not around, I can’t focus, everything is just harder when you’re not with me,” his begging surrounded my thoughts. The visuals of him with that girl, faded away, replaced with happier times.

Without really thinking, I fell on to him, my arms wrapping around his waist, pulling him close to me. His arms instinctively went around my shoulders, his head placed on top of mine. I could feel the cold tears pouring down from his face, hitting my cheek resting against his chest. I let everything go, the pain, the hurt, the facade, everything. All I could think about was the feeling of joy radiate through me. He was mine again.

“Thank you,” my voice was muffled by his chest, but he could still understand. He understood that I’m going to let him help me. Help me fix what was so clearly broken. He knows I could do it on my own, but I need someone to be there when I get cut on the jagged pieces. Someone to hold me, to heal me. Someone by my side to help me, help myself.

I pull away from his embrace, the coldness hitting my tear stained cheeks. I’m smiling now, up at him. His eyes are shining, they’ve got a spark in them.  

“Leather jacket and combat boots, totally hot,” he wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side, walking somewhere that wasn’t school.

“Maybe hot, but it gets heated up in here.”

One thing I loved about Jack, was his personality allowed him to have a conversation with someone, like nothing and ever happened. It made me relieved, that I didn’t have to have a lecture.

Underneath my darkened heart, there’s a light that’s trying so hard to be seen. And I know it’s going to envelop me, I know this, because I’ve noticed a little bit shining through.

8

Favorite GOT/ASOIAF Moments [x] S4.E09 ♛

The Hound sliced the meat with his dagger, and narrowed his eyes when he caught Arya looking at the knife. “Don’t even think about it.

I wasn’t,” she lied.

He snorted to show what he thought of that, but he gave her a thick slice of sausage. Arya worried it with her teeth, watching him all the while. I never beat your sister,” the Hound said. “But I’ll beat you if you make me. Stop trying to think up ways to kill me. None of it will do you a bit of good.

→  A Storm of Swords // Arya IX  

Spoken Words [ Steve Rogers x OC - Reader Insert ]

Prompt : Based on this post by @aceofultron and @sincereglomp

Pairing : Steve Rogers x OC

Genre : Just angst.   |   Warning : Angst with a dash of Sad Bucky

Author’s Note : Oh heeeyyyy… :D The soulmate AU no one asked for but i wrote it anyway. Tell me what you think! :) 

Request Here

Originally posted by eme-themeatball

Steve never told Natasha the real reason why he always said no to every single woman she tried to introduce him. The redhead didn’t say anything when Steve finally told her to stop trying to hook him up with women. He suppose she knew why, judging by the sad smile on her face when he finished speaking. She didn’t ask him. She gave him a pat in the back and left him alone with his thoughts, his fingers tracing the words hidden under his sleeve.

It was the first thing Bucky asked him when he came back. ‘Did you meet them?’ he quietly asked Steve. Steve shook his head, flashing his lopsided smile at Bucky who quietly sighed.

“Did you?” Steve couldn’t help but asked. Bucky winced a little, his eyes dull. It took Bucky few minutes before he finally answered Steve’s question.

“I did. Korea, 1979. I just finished a mission and they took me to stay at this hotel.” Bucky paused and blinked hard before he let out a shaky breath. “She was a receptionist, I think. They shot her when they realized what she just said to me.”

“Buck…”

“It’s okay.” Bucky shrugged, as if it didn’t bother him at all. Steve knew though. He always knew. Bucky turned to Steve with a small smile.

“I killed my handlers after that. They had to put me back in cyro and wipe me.” He continued. “But these things don’t just get… forgotten, you know? I could still remember her face and what happened that day.”

Steve had to look away from Bucky. He picked up his coffee and gulped it down, hoping the bitterness could somehow drown the uneasiness he has been feeling ever since he woke up.

“Have a good night.” Bucky’s choked laugh broke his train of thoughts. His friend got up from the couch to grab the vodka bottle on the shelf. Steve watched Bucky pour some into his empty mug and drank it slowly. “That’s what she said to me. Did you know that?” Bucky asked. Steve shook his head and stayed silent. “They taught me basic Korean before the mission and it was the first thing I memorized.”

They stayed in the living room for another hour before Natasha and Sam came in. Steve quietly excused himself before they could ask any questions. He entered the elevator and asked JARVIS to take him to the lobby.

“Would you like me to inform Mr. Barnes you’re leaving the tower, Captain?”

“Yeah, sure.” Steve absentmindedly said.

* * *

He aimlessly walked down the street until he reached the small art store he liked to visit. The owner waved his hand and greeted him with excitement. Steve smiled as he listened to the owner’s explanations on the newest arrival.

“You’d love this brand, Mr. Rogers.” He smiled.

“I’ll just look around first and see if there’s anything else I want to buy.” Steve politely said.

“Take you time, Mr. Rogers.” The old man nodded before he left Steve to his own device.

He walked around the shop, picking up new brushes and some paints that he ran out of. His eyes caught a small frame on the cashier desk when he walked up to pay for the art supplies.

“He’s my husband.” The old man smiled.

“How did you know?” He blurted out, his cheeks tinted pink when he realized what he just said. The old man just laughed as he put the stuff in a paper bag.

“You just knew.” He shrugged. “There’s a connection. You will know when you meet them.”

It didn’t help ease the gnawing feeling in Steve’s heart at all. He quickly paid for his stuff and walked out of the store.

* * *

“SORRY!” he blinked in surprise. He must’ve spaced out for a minute, he thought to himself. His shirt was ruined by the woman’s coffee. She gave him another apologetic smile as she took out her handkerchief.

“I’m really sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” She mumbled.

Steve chuckled and took the handkerchief to wipe off some of the coffee.

“It’s okay. I wasn’t paying attention either.” He replied. “And I ruined your coffee.” He gestured at the empty coffee cup in her hand.

“It’s a crappy coffee anyway.” She shrugged and threw the coffee cup in the nearest bin. “I’m [Y/N], by the way.” She added.

“Steve. Steve Rogers.” Steve shook her hand.

“Well, [Y/N], I could buy you a better one?” Steve found himself asking. “There’s this coffeeshop near the Avengers Tower and they have the best coffee.”

She looked a little taken aback for a few moments before her lips pursed into a thin line.

“I have to get back to work, though.” Steve tried not to show his disappointment when she replied. She seemed to notice his crestfallen expression because he saw her shook her head frantically.

“I’m not saying no!” she explained. “How about tomorrow? I’m free after 1 P.M.” She offered.

“Tomorrow’s good.” Steve’s lips curled into a smile. He watched her took out a piece of paper and a pen.

“Okay, great. This is my number. You can text me where you want to meet?” She asked, her eyes bright with hope. Steve eagerly nodded as he put the paper in his pocket.

“I have to get back to my office but I’ll see you soon?” She asked.

“Yeah. I’ll call you.” Steve smiled.

“Okay. I’ll be waiting.” She grinned before she went on her way.

Steve walked back to the tower with lighter steps. The elevator took him to the communal room where Bucky, Natasha, and Sam were sprawled on the couch, watching the TV.

“You’re back! Thank God.” Natasha said.

“What are you guys watching?” He asked, putting the paper bag on the table.

“The news.” Bucky answered, his eyes still trained on the screen.

“There was an accident in the intersection. A woman was killed.” Sam explained.

“Poor thing. She was still in her mid 20s.” Natasha mumbled.

Steve felt his blood ran cold as it hit him. No.

 

“You okay, Steve?” Bucky turned his attention to his best friend. Steve took another step back, his face pale.

“I… No…” He shook his head. He quickly took out his phone and dialed the number on the small piece of paper she gave him. Please pick up. Pick up the call, please.