So here it is! The sequel to THIS thing which was supposed to be just a prompt answer. I had several people ask me for a sequel and it still baffles me that you guys basically *want* to read my stuff (instead of me throwing it out there, hoping). If you prefer AO3, the second part will be HERE soon.
Now on with the story (more under the cut cause it’s really long)
The phone rings just as Mulder is about to leave his
apartment. He stops, looks at his watch: 8.43 a.m. He and Scully never decided
on a time last night, but he’s been on the road with her plenty of times. If
they don’t have anywhere to be, if there’s no plane waiting, an autopsy or
other extraterrestrial tasks, Scully likes to take her time. Mulder figures
arriving just after 9 a.m. at her place should neither be too late, nor too
The phone keeps ringing, a nagging sound that makes it
impossible to leave. What if it’s important? Yet, he doesn’t pick it up.
Because what if it’s Scully? Telling him she’s changed her mind and she doesn’t
want him to come over. He stares at the book in his hand, “I want to be an
astronaut”, a gift for Hannah. The thought of not seeing her, of Scully
pushing him away, is unbearable and so he just stands there and waits. Finally,
his answering machine springs to life. Mulder braces himself, just in case. If
it really is Scully, and who else would call him on a Saturday morning?, then
he is just going to pretend he never got the message. It’s sleazy and selfish,
but he feels no shame.
“Hello Fox,” Mulder frowns upon hearing the voice
on his machine and he is glad he didn’t pick up the phone for entirely
different reasons than fear, “It’s Diana. There’s this highly interesting
case I found and I thought maybe we could spend the weekend looking it over.
Spend some time together. I guess you’re out on a run so just give me a call
when you’re back.” Mulder listens to the beep, then he quickly walks over
to the answering machine, pushes a button and is on his way.
“Message deleted.” Chimes just as he closes the
door behind him.
"(and no, time really does exist, it is NOT man made)" Could you explain this further?
Sure, but this is a fairly complex topic and one which is still debated in both science and philosophy. But the question of “is time man made” has two answers. Both yes and no.
Yes, in the sense that the way we measure time is of our own construct. For example, we chose to have a minute equal 60 seconds, and hour equal 60 minutes, etc etc. So in this way, yes one could say time is man made. But if we were to hold this view that because we arbitrarily set these units to measure time, that time is man-made, then we must also say that distance is man made. For example, let’s say that you are currently 100 miles away from me. Well, one could say this distance is man made, and it partly is. Humans made the measurement of miles. We designated how many inches equals a feet and how many feet equal a mile and so on and so forth. So in this respect, me saying you are 100 miles away is man made. However the fact remains that you are not where I am, so distance in itself does exist. So in this way, distance is not man made because you are in a different location within space. The same notion applies to time, however with time, it does get a bit trickier.
(Idk if you have ever been exposed to the Theory of relativity? If not, this next part might not make any sense lol)
In physics, time behaves differently according to what you are doing…it’s weird but really cool (I actually wrote like an entire thing about the physics of time, from the non-relativistic to the relativistic version of the universe aka the “block universe,” but it was too complex to explain in one post so I decided not to include it). But just know that in non-relativistic calculations, we generally treat time to be independent of space. So you can plot coordinates of (x,y,z) relative to time. This is great and all but this breaks down when moving into areas of special relativity, where time is no longer treated as an independent variable, but rather, as part of space (with the exception that you have less freedom in time). So instead of a 3 dimensional coordinate system that we are used to (where you can move up/down, left/right, and backwards/forwards), we have a 4 dimensional coordinate system where time is part of that space and so the coordinate system looks like this: (x,y,z,t). Unlike in classical mechanics, were things moved in space in relation to time, in this new Space-Time system, the positions (x,y,z,t) are timeless points known as an “event.” Now this means that every event can be plotted on this 4D graph to create what is known as the “worldline.” So think of this kind of like a spaghetti strand which you can cut into to get information on every event in the object of interests existence. So you cut into it somewhere and you will get the objects (x,y,z, and t) coordinates. This world-line is fixed and never changes. So your whole existences exists on this world-line and what you consider to be your present moment is just the slice which you are in right now. Basically, in this theory, the past, present, and future all exist at once which means that time flow is an illusion (Is your mind blown yet?) Quantum Theory however, seems to conflict with certain aspects of Relativity and in the sense that in Relativity, spacetime is thought to be smooth and continuos while in Quantum Theory, space-time isn’t always continuous. The weird thing is is that both these two theories are considered correct, but they conflict each other! The point is however, that the nature of time is really what is in question. Is it time which flows, while objects move in it? Or is the flow of time, like in relativity, simply an illusion created based on how the universe changes shape around us? Also, why does time only flow in one direction? We still don’t know. Also, I forgot to mention, in Special Relativity, time flow can change, so the closer you travel to the speed of light, the slower time flows for you. If you reach the speed of light (which is impossible for objects with mass), time stops, and if you somehow go faster than the speed of light (which is currently thought to be impossible), time goes backwards!!!! So yeah, time itself is there, but its nature isn’t understood yet (and so, if all points of time are considered equally real, time travel to the past may be possible although keep in mind, the energy required would be impossible too so pretty much, we can never do it lool).
There is also the philosophical side of this discussion which has been going on for centuries. We have a concept known as the A-Theory of time, which states that time flows from the future, into the present, then into the past, followed by moving into the further past. In this theory, there is a special reference frame known as the “now” and it states this is the frame we experience and is the only frame which really exists. This means that only things in the present exists, while things in the past drop out of existence. In other words, this is what you would call the tensed theory of time. The B theory however, states that there is no such thing as this special “now” reference frame and that the past present and future all equally exist at the same time, aka the tenseless theory of time. The arguments of both sides are really interesting, but I think most people tend to either lean somewhere in between or towards the B-Theory (bc this is what relativity pretty much describes) But the point is, is that it is the nature of time that is debatable, not really time itself. Although that is only what I got out of it. Sometimes I hear physicists say time is unreal, but I think they are saying our perception of time, or the flow of time is unreal. But then again, I can be wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Pretty much the answer to the question of what is the nature of time is the same as the answer to the question of “How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Center Of A Tootsie Pop?”
Confession: i am only doing uni because, well, i don't want to not do uni. does that make sense? So i spend my days just going through the motions of doing uni work, handing in assignments, all the while living in an alternative reality in my head where i'm doing fun things. And three years have passed in that way. Ever feel like you're just passing time, in your head, and not even being fully present in your life? And that time is just pushing everyone forward and you are just standing still?
That makes sense bc I have felt the same! After high school it’s like what am i supposed to do with life - so it’s either work or go to Uni obviously (unless you have the fortune to do something else that drives you, or if unfortunately, you can’t do any of that). Do you only imagine having fun in your alternate world or do you have activities/hobbies to take a break from reality? Recently I’ve found fun in writing fanfictions, and believe it or not (because I do everything in my power to not study) first I like to research certain things, and think hard about making complex paragraphs and fun dialogues, it fills up my time and I get to produce something and share it. I like drawing too though I don’t do it much, and recently we tried embroidery at Uni and to my surprise I liked it and thought of picking it up sometime in the future (as a kid I hated it). Recently I was so into a game (mystic messenger), and before that an anime (yuri on ice) (- I still love both of them), and judging by my blog I’m trapped in drama-world. What I want to say is during your time that has passed can you come up with something you enjoy even if it’s very little?
I don’t want to be noisy because you probably already have your own ‘‘concept of life’’ figured out. We all, probably many times in life feel like time is not real and it’s just the same thing over and over. Sometimes I feel it often because writing ff or having a tumblr isn’t that special but it’s still something. If I were to give you advice then it is to start something new or find something you’re curious about or it can even be to read more about something you’re not so curious about. There’s nothing that is bad per se so go and explore. It can be off- or online, you may hate it or like it, won’t know until you try, right? Giving an ex. of mine then just two days ago while searching about a fave OTP I found something called ‘doujinshi’. I often stay off explicit stuff so basically I was fascinated and curious so I read thru some lmao and I love art so a plus for me woho. I won’t be making it my daily habit bc it’s not something I enjoy but I’m kind of ‘glad’ to have found something new. And then sometimes I just chill and waste time and go on with life because that’s one kind of activity too imo. Time is just something that’s supposed to pass and sooner or later we will— um, I feel like I’m going off topic….
Either way, I hope you soon start to feel your time is meaningful because life is short and I think people often get stuck in ‘I must do something meaningful’ when sometimes just eating food, helping a kid, smiling at some stranger (lol?) or waking up in the morning to start a new day can be something meaningful. Handing in assignments is an accomplishment too and in the future when you’re entering a new chapter it may all lead to a somewhat satisfying life.
I really liked your awkward Hanzo comics~ Could you make one where McCree compliments his hair (particularly the white little hair-wings part thing) and the next day someone (Genji? Symm?) finds him with a little smile trying extra hard to make them perfect? (not in a snooty/prideful way. more of a "i hope they look good today maybe he'll talk to me again" way) I am not sure if I'm allowed to make requests/suggestions so i hope this does not come off as pushy~ '3' Welp, 25 letters left so this -
im super glad you liked it omg thank yOU!!! i am 1000% down for requests & suggestions hehe there u go!!!
other ya characters: this guy…he’s so dark and mysterious, the way he just hurts everyone around him…including me. i’ve cried so much since i’ve met him, but no no he’s just misunderstood, you don’t understand him! and sure i’ve only known him for 2 days and he has a million secrets, but i’d forfeit my life for his
inej ghafa: kaz is a literal piece of crap. he treats everyone badly, and though he’s never treated me horribly, i still won’t give in unless he shows me he can be more than all of this. until then i’ll be out saving the world because my goals are obviously more important than a relationship
“i don’t have the tears to cry anymore. but…i at least have to keep yu safe” // “i promise you, mika. even if i have to sell out the whole world to do it, i’ll make sure you’re turned back into a human.”
do you mind making some more lance hcs?? I've read all of the other ones like 3 times.
anon that’s a lot of headcanons to be reading lmao.. i don’t shut up about my Blue Boy. This is half headcanon/half character analysis lmao.
WHOM UP FOR SOME LANGST.
Lance has a boatload of insecurities, but I don’t think he has depression. (Time to project) What happens is that his ADHD causes him to hyperfocus on his mistakes to the point that he gets trapped in his Hell Brain, stuck in this bad cycle where he constantly berates himself and inflates his personal fears. But he’s normally able to manage because he has a huge support network- his bigass family.
There are definitely little kids in Lance’s family, and being around kids who love you is so nice?? Whenever Lance starts feeling weighed down, he plays with his baby siblings/cousins/neighbors and lets their enthusiasm feed his until everyone is bouncing off the walls and being ushered outside. I’ve probably said this before, but Lance was Born to be an uncle.
Anyway, Lance is used to being surrounded by people he has a deep connection with who truly care about him and love him. So at the Garrison, when he was far away from his family, he struggled a little bit but ultimately supplemented his human contact quota by befriending pretty much everyone. If he knows that people like him, then he can like himself.
Which is why in space he’s kind of… deflating. Because he’s surrounded by people who have rebuffed him before, and it’s hard not to internalize that, ya feel?? Like:
Pidge refused to do anything with Hunk & Lance when they were all at the Garrison, which is fair bc she was in Deep Cover, but Lance obvi didn’t know this so he was honestly kind of hurt?
All his attempts at friendship and bonding were coldly shut down the moment they left his mouth. Lance spent many a sleepless nights wondering what was wrong with him, what aspect of his personality made Pidge hate him on sight.
It… sucks to know that no matter what you do, someone will remain distant, especially if you’re used to making friends. Lance is a fixer, but how can you fix something if you only know part of the problem?
Keith straight up forgot who Lance was. And you know that Lance had really built-up their relationship in his mind. Even if it’s because Lance claims they ‘hated’ each other, it’s clear that Lance considered Keith special in that he was a goal to beat/overcome, and he clearly assumed Keith viewed him the same way. So when they reunited and Keith didn’t recognize him… Ouch.
It hurts to realize that you’ve put way more into a relationship than someone else, but it especially sucks if they never even noticed you in the first place.
Also, lots of resentment issues thanks to the Garrison constantly comparing Lance to Keith. Bastards.
Shiro is Lance’s hero, but Shiro is such… a jackass to Lance gsdhkjgd I’m so mad about how Shiro has been treating Lance as the show progresses.
Shiro kind of… assumes that they’re equals, which normally is fine, but Shiro physically pushes/shoves Lance around, ignores his opinions, and tells him to knock it off whenever Lance acts like himself.
And between close friends, that behavior can be ‘acceptable’, but again: Lance looks up to Shiro. So this treatment.. I can only see Lance negatively internalizing it. How good of a teammate can you be if your hero only ever treats you as a joke?
And Allura… it’s clear she’s really not interested in Lance’s flirting. Which would be fine, but it’s kind of been their entire relationship so far (mainly because of Bad Writing), so when Allura rejects Lance’s bad pick-up line she kind of rejects any connection at all, including friendship.
Like, you can argue that this is Lance’s fault for constantly hitting on her, but Allura’s natural response to Lance is either Carefully Maintained Neutrality or clear exasperation.
That’s not exactly… a warm welcome, so I could see Lance slowly just starting to avoid her. Because it SUCKS to enter someone’s line of view and immediately see their smile drop a fraction. It sucks to know that someone immediately has their guard up the moment you try to talk to them. It sucks to feel like you’ve sabotaged any chances before you even knew you had them. It sucks to realize that you, and your personality, made someone feel this way, and that you are the problem. From there, you learn it’s better to just… stay away, and stay quiet.
TLDR Lance is really only comfortable comfortable around Hunk and Coran. And the Space Mice, provided they don’t rat him out to Allura.
Lance internalizes a lot of stuff lmao. He reacts by overcompensating; when he feels hurt or out of his depth, he amps up his ego, he goes all out with the flirting, he uses bravado to cover up any cracks in his armor.
(If you keep making them laugh, then they’re too busy to laugh at you.)
Lance is his own worst enemy. If someone yells at him and calls him a failure, he can get righteously angry and ignore what they said or crack a joke to ease the tension. He can deflect. It’s when he’s alone, when he has time to think, that he begins to place more pressure on himself.
You know how people can become paralyzed by their perfectionism? They’re so worried about getting the end product perfect that they can’t even start the process. That’s Lance, to some extent.
He prunes his own self/image. If he can’t get something right, he cuts it out of his personality. He doesn’t cling to it. He gets rid of anything he thinks makes him a failure, anything that shows that he’s useless. All those branches, traits, imperfections- they’re snipped away. And what he’s left with, he clings to. This is his absolute. This is his foundation. These are the tenants he builds himself up from. He’s the ladies man. He’s the sharpshooter. He’s the funny one. This is what makes Lance McClain worthwhile.
So when that foundation gets rocked… it’s bad. And normally, he can spring back, because he has his support network. But right now he’s billions of light years away from home, stuck with a team that only seems to like him 70% of the time.