i thank my cousin for this shot

disappoint me daddy
  • dan and phil play dream daddy!! i messaged people abt this like a week and a half ago and immediately thought oh no what hell have i wished upon us but it is HERE
  • to be fair i am on my second watch so this isn’t. reacting
  • 0:47 and dan is already talking about barebacking i want to delete all of this

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Transcript of the 911 call made by 13 year old Kaylan Bailey in an attempt to get help for her cousin, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, during the shooting at the Century 16 Movie Theater on July 20th 2012. Unfortunately, Veronica did not survive and was the youngest to die in the attack. She was just 6 years old.

Dispatch - (Inaudible)… Emergency?

Kaylan - (Inaudible)… There’s been shooting… There’s a shooting at…

Dispatch - Okay, is that the Century 16 theater shooting?

Kaylan - Yes, yes!

Dispatch - Do you know anybody whose been shot?

Kaylan - Yes I do! You got to send somebody!

Dispatch - Okay. Whose been shot?

Kaylan - (Crying)

Dispatch - Who do you know that’s been shot?

Kaylan - Umm my co… My cousins.

Dispatch - Okay. Where are they right now?

Kaylan - They’re… They are on the floor. (Inaudible)

Dispatch - Are they breathing?

Kaylan - No! (Crying) Help me!

Dispatch - Mam, do you know if they’re breathing and do you know if they’re conscious?

Kaylan - One of them is not breathing.

Dispatch - Neither one of them are breathing?

Kaylan - One of them is.

Dispatch - Okay the one that’s not breathing, I want you to go up to him… Is he laying on the ground?

Kaylan - Yeah.

Dispatch - Okay, is he on the floor and on a flat surface?

Kaylan - Yeah, on a flat surface.

Dispatch - Okay, remove anything from under his head and kneel by his side.

Kaylan - What?

Dispatch - Kneel by his side and remove anything that’s under his head.

Kaylan - I… I can’t get in between the chairs.

Dispatch - Okay. What theater are you in?

Kaylan - Uhhh… I don’t know. Number 9. I’m in number 9!

Dispatch - Okay do you see any officers near you?

Kaylan - No, there’s not. None.

Dispatch - Okay I need you to go to your cousin that’s not breathing and go by their side and kneel.

Kaylan - Okay.

Dispatch - Place your hand on the forehead and the fingertips of your other hand under the chin.

Kaylan - (Crying)

Dispatch - Press down his forehead and lift up under his chin until his head tilts back and the chin points up.

Kaylan - I can’t hear you, the movie is too loud!

Dispatch - Okay, I need you to look into his mouth. Do you see anything in his mouth?

Kaylan - Do I see anything on the ground?

Dispatch - I his mouth.

Kaylan - I’m sorry. I can’t hear you, I’m so sorry.

Dispatch - Okay, Mam. That’s okay. Can you (Inaudible) in his mouth and see if he’s breathing?

Kaylan - No. She’s not. I already said that she’s not.

Dispatch - Okay, you said he’s not moving and he is not breathing, correct?

Kaylan - This is correct.

Dispatch - Okay, we need to start chest compressions. I’m going to walk you through the steps, are you ready?

Kaylan - What?

Dispatch - We need you to start chest compressions, I will walk you through the steps. We need to start CPR.

Kaylan - (Crying) I can’t hear you!

Dispatch - Mam, we need to start CPR.

Kaylan - But I can’t…

Dispatch - I can tell you how to do it, okay? I’m going to walk you through the steps.

Kaylan - What?

Dispatch - I’m going to walk you through the steps of CPR.

Kaylan - I can’t hear you.

Dispatch - Okay, is there an officer next to you?

Kaylan - (Crying)

Dispatch - Mam, can you hear me?

Kaylan - Yes.

Dispatch - We need to start CPR on your cousin, okay?

Kaylan - I can’t hear you. (Crying)

Dispatch - I can tell you how to perform the CPR but I need you to listen, okay?

Kaylan - Uh huh. (Crying)

*Voice in background* (Is somebody there?) *Inaudible sounds*

Dispatch - Mam?… Mam? Can you hear me, Mam?

*Inaudible sounds*

Dispatch - I have help on the way but I need you to listen to me, okay?

Kaylan - Okay. (Inaudible)

Dispatch - Kneel next to your cousin (Inaudible) that is not breathing.

Kaylan - (Inaudible)

Dispatch - Mam?

Kaylan - (Inaudible)

Dispatch - Mam?

Kaylan - (Inaudible) Hello? Yes?

Dispatch - I need you to start CPR on your cousin, can you hear me?

Kaylan - I can’t… (Inaudible)

Dispatch - I will walk you through how to perform CPR.

Kaylan - (Inaudible)

Dispatch - Mam, I cannot hear you.

Kaylan - (Inaudible)

Dispatch - Hello, Mam?

Kaylan - (Inaudible) You don’t understand. We need help!

Dispatch - I understand that and I need… I need your cousin that is shot and not breathing… We need to perform CPR on him.

Kaylan - Yeah I don’t know how (Inaudible) I never tried it.

Dispatch - I cannot hear you, Mam.

Kaylan - I’m sorry. (Inaudible) police here. The police are here.

Dispatch - The police are with you?

Kaylan - Yes.

Dispatch - Okay, go with the police.

Kaylan - Okay, thank you. Good bye.

July 4th | Tom Holland

-Tom coming to America just to spend the Fourth of July with you rather that taking all of his break off in London.

-“I thought the celebration was on the fourth?”
-“it is”
-then why are your neighbors setting off fireworks at noon a week early?“

-him trying to google the best place to take you to go see the fireworks

-"wait was that a gun or a firework”
-“honestly could be either,”

Tom trying to find the biggest, “most American” fireworks to put in your basket at the firework store

-buying your little cousins more fireworks than they could even light off but he keeps getting them more because he can’t say no

-coming to your family barbecue and meeting your family members
-Tom bringing a cake with an American flag on it in frosting because “I didn’t know if it was a must ‘ave or something,”

-your family really liking him

-your aunt liking him maybe a bit too much after a few drinks

-“when are you going to give me some baby’s to spoil,”

-Tom just laughing and trying to think of the best way to answer without bringing up that he was always busy being famous

-“as soon as it’s a good time for us,”

-Tom helping your little cousins with lighting off the fireworks and them only listening when he tells them to put on the headphones that will protect their ears from the noise because “he’s spiderman, YN!”

-your youngest cousin walking up to you and asking “do you know you’re dating spiderman? I don’t want to blow his cover,”

-you laughing and nodding, looking at Tom and thinking how lucky you are that you AND your family like him so much

-somebody getting a picture of you two kissing with a firework in the background and calling it “one for the scrapbook”

- Peter tweeting “well, I’ve officially experienced the most American week of my life, thanks @ YN for making it perfect”

You’re My Last/Scott McCall/Stefan Salvatore Fluff

Originally posted by lovemydylan

Originally posted by sensualkisses

Most of these are taken from my Wattpad account! (Twtrash01)

Send me requests for the following Fandoms: Teenwolf, Vampire Diaries, Dolantwins, OUAT(Peter Pan, Robbie Kay, Supernatural, Suicide Squad, The 100. Basically I’ll write for any fandom. I’ll write non-smut as well. Be specific in what you want! *I DON’T OWN ANY GIFS*

Request:  Hi I was wondering if u do cross-overs? If so could u pls do a TVD and TW? The reader is dating Scott, but then she sees him and Malia confess their love for each other when the shooting happens and she is injured and after she heals moves to Mystic Falls to live with her cousin Caroline and falls for Stefan and Scott comes and tries to apologize? Thank yooouuuu💞💞❤️❤️❤️💕💕

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Anon: My name is Lily and you’re an amazing writer, so I thought of a concept for you. Can you do a text au where Calum’s kid cousin finds out how big he is on accident? I think it’d be hilarious

 I laughed making this lmaoo. Hope you liked it and thanks for requesting, love💓


Requested by @cherieann-2001:One with Jax where I’m Tara s cousin and she hates me (since we were kids) but Gemma likes me because I have been helping Jax with the boys and the whole situation with Tara. He has been flirting with me but I’m scared to flirt back because Tara has threatened my younger brother whose autistic….. you take it from there

“Well, shake it up, baby, now (Shake it up, baby)
Twist and shout (Twist and shout)
C'mon c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now (Come on baby)
Come on and work it on out (Work it on out)“ 

I sang and danced around the kitchen making breakfast for the boys and Jax. Thomas sat in his highchair, banging on his tray with a spoon, hollering  shaking his body, and giggling. Abel was standing on the counter, helping me cook breakfast, he was also singing, dancing and laughing.

The back door opened and Gemma walked in, she leaned against the door frame watching us. I reached over, turning the music off my phone, reaching up, pulling Abel down from the counter.

“Go wake up daddy…breakfast is almost ready buddy!” I rubbed the top of his head.

“Okay (Y/N/N)!” Abel ran from the room. I flipped the last off the pancakes from the griddle to the serving plate. Carrying it to the table, pouring a mug of coffee for Jax, myself and Gemma.

“Hungry Gem?”

“No baby! You’re doing a great job taking care of my boys.”

“Their family…” I sipped my coffee. “I’m going back home today…Tara gets out.”

“You should stay…..the boys love you.”

I would but Tara and I don’t get along. Actually she’s hated me since we were kids, better she doesn’t know I was here.”

Jax came into the kitchen smiling. “So, I understand there’s entertainment with breakfast this morning?”

Abel started laughing. “Twist and shout….shake it up baby now!” Thomas started to shake his body in hos highchair.

Jax raised his eyebrow. “What are you teaching my boys?” 

I laughed. “In case the biker life doesn’t work out for them, they can always be dancers.”

He threw back his head and laughed, he reached out and covered my hand. “I hope you know, how much I appreciate your help with the boys.”

“I’m family…” I didn’t want to tell him. I’d be gone before he got back with Tara.


My get-a-way didn’t go as planned, I was still at the house when Tara and Jax got home. My damn piece of crap car wouldn’t start, Chibs and Juice came over and towed it to TM.

I was going to be stuck in Charming for at least two days, I plastered a smile on my face, knowing Tara was going to lose her shit when she saw me. The only thing I could do, was make lunch, and hope it helped.

The front door opened. I heard Abel yell out “Mommy!” I stepped out of the kitchen. Her green eyes narrowed when she saw me, yet she kept a smile on her face.

I smiled knowing that a storm of anger was brewing just under Tara’s surface. “Lunch is ready!”

Jax smiled. “I can get use to this….maybe you should move in permanently. I’ve been spoiled to the home cooked meals, and laundry!”

I smiled. “I’ve got to get back home.”

“Yes Jax, we can’t keep (Y/N). She’s got a life to get back to, no matter how mundane it is.” She smirked at me, and stood in the living room. Jax walked into the kitchen, stopping to kiss me on the cheek.

Tara stormed towards me, grabbing my arm, dragging me down the hall. “This is MY family! I will take care of them, you have an hour to get out of my house or Tucker will be out on the street!”

“I was only trying to help, you ungrateful bitch! I can’t believe you’d do that to Tucker, just because you hate me!”

“Since I pay for his schooling and everything, I can do what I want. You can’t afford that expensive, special needs school. He’s doing so well, it would be such a set back, if he was sent to a regular public school.”

I stared at her wondering how she could be such a monster. I started towards the door. “Don’t ever come back to Charming….don’t call me or my family.”

My shoulders slumped as I walked out the door, I grabbed my bags and left the house. Walking down the street, wondering how the hell I was going to get out of town with no car.


I opened the door expecting to find the guy that delivered food from the local Chinese restaurant. “Jax, what are you doing here?”

“Why did you leave? You didn’t even say good bye, to me or the boys?”

I looked down. “It was time for me to go, Tara was back….”

“Did she threaten you?” His blue eyes blazed with anger.

“My brother Tucker is autistic, he goes to a special private school. Tara pays for it, she threatened me with not paying for it anymore. She’s hated me since we were kids, I’m not sure why…” I looked up at him. “Tucker loves his school, and he’s doing really well, I’ll do whatever I have to for his well being and happiness.”

Jax moved forward. “Tara has been different since she came back. She faked a pregnancy, and blamed a miscarriage on my ma…”

“Oh my God Jax…I’m so sorry!” 

“Can I come in for a while? I could really use a friend,” I let him inside, wondering if it was a mistake, but nit caring. He pulled me into his arms, hugging me. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and the boys.”

“You’re welcome Jax…” 

“I love you (Y/N)…”

I closed my eyes, “I think I love you too Jax…..but you’re married to my cousin.”

“She’s filed for divorce, you don’t have to be afraid of her, I’ll take care of Tucker…..”

I wrapped my arms around his neck kissing him. “Thank you!”

He pulled me close to him. “You’re welcome beautiful. Will you come back to Charming?” I nodded my head, smiling at him. “Good, we’ve missed you.”


@realpowertwix @anarchyrenegade @lolsthecat@soafanficluvr1@fortheloveofthesoa @khyharah @redwoodog@chaosmieu@thegoodthebadandtheempty @jade770 @supernaturalanarchy  @lolsthecat @soafanficluvr1@fortheloveofthesoa@khyharah @redwoodog @chaosmieu @thegoodthebadandtheempty@jade770 @realpowertwix @supernaturalanarchy @mrsirishboru @lolsthecat @soafanficluvr1@fortheloveofthesoa@khyharah@samcrolivesforever @redwoodog @ineedthesons @jade770@realpowertwix @supernaturalanarchy @mac5323 @hauntedduckdefendor @cherieann2001@mwesterfeld1985@clairese1980 @small-townwaywarddaughter  @winchester-negan-one-shots
@mrsirishboru @undeadprincess2005 @come-join-themurder@ouijaboardmystery @chaosmieu @girl-with-no-faith-in-medicine @ineedthesons @id-rather-be-high-and-fucked@charmingsrisingson  @readerinsertimagines  @sweetchaosturtle @im-gay-for-chibbs-juiceyandtiggy @jasonmccannsgirl8699 mcrmarvelloki @homicidalteenagedream

Home and Family, Shance Fluff Week Prompt 3

June 6th: Home/Family
Yes, I did both, because I couldn’t make it about Family when they’re all on Earth, AKA Home.
Lance was wiggling impatiently during the meeting. They’d finally defeated Zarkon and Lotor, the last of the Galra Empire crushed, and they’d finally, finally returned to Earth. But negotiations with Earth had to happen first, all the major leaders speaking to Allura and Coran and news crews everywhere.

Lance just wanted to go home. He wanted to see his family, his Mamá and Papá and siblings and every relative he could think of, back in Cuba. But he’d be free soon enough, so he smiled and waved and tapped his foot agitatedly against the sweet and familiar dirt he’d missed these past few years.

Shiro noticed his fidgeting and slyly twined his hand together with his boyfriend’s, Blue rumbling soothingly in his mind while Pidge shot him an empathetic look from where she was standing with her brother and father. Hunk and Keith noticed too, shuffling closer while Keith stayed behind the bigger man, camera shy.

“Soon, Lance. Just hold on a little longer, and then we’ll all go visit Cuba with you.” Shiro muttered as he smiled at another camera.

Lance made a soft whine in the back of his throat at the thought of waiting longer, but a soft laugh from Blue soothed his impatience as she reassured him she’d fly as fast as she could to get him to his family.

It took longer than he thought, but sure enough he and Blue were breaking the sound barrier as they flew across the country to his homeland, the others following close behind.

Shiro’s laughter echoed through the comm link. “Lance! Slow down babe, the rest of us can’t keep up.” Lance purposefully ignored Keith’s indignant shout in favor of whining at his boyfriend.

“I know Shiro, but I haven’t seen them in years! I don’t know if my siblings got married or if aunt Rosa had the baby oh who am I kidding she probably did but what about the baby itself? Is it a girl? Boy? I don’t know!” Lance rambled, gunning Blue’s engines even faster over the ocean.

“Lance, its only been five years. Besides, if anything, I’m slightly worried about meeting them.” Shiro confessed.

Lance huffed out a short laugh. “Babe, you’re the epitome of a good gentleman. They’ll love you!” He said, finally slowing Blue down in order to regale his boyfriend and team with stories of how well his family had taken his bisexuality and attraction to boys, both negating his panic and easing Shiro’s worries.

It wasn’t long after that the familiar island country popped into view, exciting Lance and even Blue purred in anticipation.

He landed her in a field, only a few miles from his old house. He’d checked beforehand, the McClain residence still standing and bursting with people.

He dashed out of the cockpit, stumbling a little as he ran down a dusty path towards his house, noticing people chattering in rapid Spanish around a TV set up on the porch. He recognized the flash of blue onscreen.

“Mamá! Papá!” He called, watching as the two people closest to the television whirled around and gaped at the dusty man in armor tearing up the path to their home, crying.

The first to reach him was surprisingly his mother, a short and stocky woman, who had sprinted across the yard and practically tackled him, sobbing his name as cries of “Its really him!” “It’s Lance! He’s alive!” and “Please God, don’t let this be a dream!” echoed across the house in Spanish, more and more familiar family members coming out to dogpile their lost and thought dead relative.

Lance sobbed and hugged as many blood relatives as he could, his mother full on bawling like some of his sisters and his father and older brother sniffling and his uncle shouting about where in hell had he been all this time and his little cousins squealing over his armor.

He was smothered in kisses and hugs and it was almost overwhelming. His family finally backed up a little, crowding around him and shouting questions, rapid Spanish nearly drowning the Blue Paladin. His Mamá held his face between both hands as she peppered his face with little kisses, just like she’d done before he’d left for the Garrison all those years ago.

“You’ve come back to me. Mi hijo came back to me.” His mother whimpered, the familiar lilt to her voice such a missed sound that Lance cried even harder as he enveloped her in a hug.

“I’m home, Mamá.” He hiccuped, hearing the approaching sound of his other family, his team. He smiled. “There’s some people I’d like you to meet.” He explained, pulling away and leading her by the hand to where his space family stood by the gate.

Lance smiled and reached for Shiro’s hand. “Mamá, this is my boyfriend, Shiro.” He said, beaming at his mother. She laughed and pulled the bigger man into a hug, startling him.

“Thank you for bringing my baby home in one piece, Shiro.” She said gratefully, Shiro finally hugging back.

“Ha! It was a really near thing. I dunno how many times that idiot took a hit for one of us.” Keith spoke up, folding his arms over his chest and eyeing Lance playfully. Lance scoffed, rolling his eyes as the team started relaxing around the huge Cuban family, cousins already tugging at Matt’s rebel clothing, Pidge getting buried under fussing adults and Hunk saying hello to the McClain’s he remembered.

“Only because some mullet headed moron kept thinking with his sword more than his head!” Lance shot back, grinning. Lance’s mother quirked an eyebrow as she stepped back from the hug she’d given Shiro, her husband already heading inside to make coffee.

“Okay boys, play nice.” Pidge piped up, finally free from Lance’s aunts and uncles and jabbing Keith in the side while Lance cackled at the startled yelp the Red Paladin gave at the sudden injury. Matt snickered, highfiving his sister.

Lance’s mother shook her head, giggling at the playful little group her boy had claimed as a second family.

“Why don’t you all come inside for some coffee and tea? It sounds like you have a lot of stories to tell.” She asked kindly, and Shiro tilted his head at her with a gentle smile.

“That sounds lovely, Mrs. McClain.”
I hope this was fluffy enough!!!! 🖤💙🖤💙

i wanna be yours (daddy issues ch. 5)

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

the pack goes clubbing. erica finds naomi in bed with isaac. someone sees something they’re not supposed to see. 

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Summer with the boys

Back when I was a young man at the age of 10, my brother 14 and I used to set our family tent up in the back of our property. We lived in the country and practically spent all summer out there. New discoveries were meant to be found. Our male cousin of 15 came to stay awhile. Being I was the younger one, they didn’t want much to do with me. I found out why. I walked in on them doing a mutual jerk off session. One thing led to another and I was forced to suck cock. At that time, I was naive on cock size. My brother was okay and didn’t last long and shot straight down my throat. My cousin on the other hand had a beautiful large cock. I remember it like yesterday. I was amazed. Brother left as soon as he shot his load and I took my time with my cousin. When he came it was the thickest, creamiest load I could imagine. He thanked me and left. Later he came back in and took my shorts off and sucked me. I was in heaven. When I shot what I think was my first ever load, it felt amazing. I sucked him off again. Through the years and family reunions, I always wondered if he still shot those loads. I’m days from being 60 and a trisexual now and still wonder?

I Don’t Dance

A lovely anon requested “Hii could I request a Miles Wood imagine? Smut or just fluff if u aren’t comfortable with that thank u!!” so here you go i hope you enjoy!  Also Miles Wood is a cute bean. 


Originally posted by faulker

It had been a long day and you were honestly just done making sure everyone was having a good time. ‘It is my turn to have a good time’ you think to yourself, you make your way to the bar take a shot and then turn around hoping to spot your boyfriend.  Thankfully your all too clingy cousin had made it her duty to keep an eye on your boyfriend while you were busy playing bridesmaid to your sister.

           “(y/n)!” Miles said quickly getting up and wrapping an arm around you “I’ve missed my beautiful girlfriend” he says emphasizing the last word.  You love your cousin but she’s very persistent and will do anything to get what she wants.  Unfortunately for you and more so for Miles, since the first time she met him she’s wanted him.

           “You wanna dance?” you ask looking up at Miles.

           “He doesn’t dance” your cousin weaseled her way into the conversation “he has two left feet.”  

           “I would love to dance with my beautiful girlfriend” he says once again emphasizing the last word causing you cousin to laugh a little.

           Once the two of you were away from you cousin and on the dance floor Miles wrapped his arms around you pulling you close to him and giving you a quick kiss.

           “I’m sorry about her” you say referring to your cousin “she’s a lot to handle but she means well she just doesn’t know when to stop.”

           “It’s fine, I’m just happy you saved me from her” he laughs “your mom tried earlier but it didn’t really work.”

           You stayed swaying back and fourth in silence for a couple minutes until the song ended and another faster one started up and Miles stated speaking again, “I really don’t dance ya know.”

           “I think you’re doing pretty well” you smile as he spins you around making you burst out laughing “but I know, dancing isn’t your thing so thank you for doing it.”

           “I only did it to get away from your cousin” he says smiling down at you.  

           “Oh really?  Maybe I should bring you back to her then?”

           “No way” he says quickly “I would do anything with you any where, the boys are so right” he adds the last bit laughing.  

           “Right about what?” you ask smiling at the beautiful boy in front of you.

           “I am so fucking whipped. When can we get out of here?  I feel her staring at me.”

           “Soon but not yet” you say smiling “she’ll get it eventually.”

           Not even ten minutes later your sister interrupts your dance complaining that she needs to pee but can’t because of the stupid ball gown dress she just had to have, claiming ‘I have to look like a princess.’  When you told Miles about it he simply said “you don’t need a big poofy dress to look like a princess.  You already are a princess, my princess.”  To which everyone else in the room promptly gagged at.  If the comment wasn’t directed at you, you would have gagged too.

           After what seemed like hours of trying to hoist all the fabric up your sister decided she didn’t even need to pee anymore so all the effort was for nothing.  Looking around for Miles was almost a difficult mission when you saw your cousin wasn’t getting all cozy with him, fortunately though all you had to do was follow her line of sight to see Miles talking to your new brother-in-law.  

           “I never thought I’d be that type of guy” you hear Miles say.  Not wanting to be nosy but also wanting to hear what he was referring to you choose to look out the window at the lights reflecting off the lake.  “I didn’t think I’d ever settle down, I mean you could ask anyone and they’d tell you that.  Love hasn’t ever been my strong suit but with (y/n), with (y/n) I could, I’d do anything with her she’s got me in the palm of her hand and she knows it but I would not change it for the world.”

           Your heart swoons at the though of Miles one day proposing.  Getting down on one knee and asking you that sacred question, or maybe the two of you just laying in bed and him popping the question.  You wouldn’t question your answer for a second, even if he asked you at this very second you would say yes.  He would do anything for you but you’d do anything for him too.  

           “Ready to go?” a soft voice comes in your ear while a chin rests on your shoulder and arms wrap around your waist.

           “Yeah” you say quietly turning your head to give him a kiss “you know Miles, I love you.”

           “I love you princess.”

For everyone checking in with me

Thank you guys 💕I am safe, I was at home last night when everything started. My roommate (who works at Mandalay Bay) and I were up all night calling coworkers, friends, and family. Everything’s been on lockdown (the guy I’m seeing also works at Mandalay and is fine, was called off work- no one in or out of that casino until about 730 this morning)

My ex reached out- his friends sister was shot but is fine and not in any sort of critical condition, one of her friends however died. My cousin and his fiancé were there with friends and were able to flee safely.

Las Vegas as a city is together. Blood banks are PACKED, everyone is calling and texting and finding ways to help.

Family Reunion

A little fake dating AU I put together a little while back. Fake dating is my all time favorite AU, so I hope I did it justice!!

“Ugh I am absolutely dreading this weekend,” Betty huffed as she dropped her lunch on the table, taking her usual seat next to Jughead.

“What’s this weekend?” Veronica asked, looking slightly amused at her best friend.

“My family reunion is Saturday. I don’t think I can take another round of ‘Oh, Betty, you’re so pretty. How come you don’t have a boyfriend?’ Like it’s the end of the world that I’m single.”

“Ooh, Betty needs a beard!” Kevin squealed excitedly. “I would volunteer, but even I couldn’t pull that off. I’m too gay.”

“And I’m a no-go since your mom hates me,” Archie chimed in

“Which leaves us with Jughead,” Kevin finished triumphantly

Jughead looked up from his sandwich, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “Wait, what? I don’t remember agreeing to this,” he protested half-heartedly. Truthfully, there was nothing Jughead Jones would love more than to be Betty Cooper’s boyfriend, even if it were just for one day.

“You don’t have to, Jug,” Betty said quickly, glaring at Kevin. “I wouldn’t seriously ask you to brave my entire family just so I can avoid questions about my love life.”

“But let’s just say, hypothetically, that I do go with as your fake boyfriend,” Jughead started, gears turning in his head. “There would be free food, right?”

“You are living proof that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Veronica sighed exasperatedly. “Do you ever think about anything else?”

“Not if I can help it,” Jughead responds cheekily, popping a carrot into his mouth. “But back to Betty’s situation.”

“You do realize that if we do this, you’ll have to hold my hand and kiss my cheek and dance with me, right?” Betty shot an amused glance at her friend, knowing full well that he avoided romance like the plague.

“A small price to pay for that much food.” Jughead winked and Betty rolled her eyes, completely missing the dreamy, lovesick look that momentarily crossed his face.

“If you’re sure, then let’s do this. We’ll need to come up with a romantic backstory, though. It shouldn’t be too hard, considering we’re both authors,” Betty chuckled. She finished her pasta and took off to do some work for the Blue and Gold, leaving the rest of the table to chatter excitedly.

Saturday rolled around much slower than Jughead would have liked. He was very excited to be able to act as Betty’s adoring boyfriend. But as excited as he was, it was nothing compared to the anxiety that overwhelmed him. What if she found out? What if it made her uncomfortable? What if her family hated him?

Their cover story was pretty simple: Jughead had a crush on Betty, so he asked her to homecoming as friends. There, he told her his true feelings, and she confessed the same. It was foolproof, especially since they actually had gone to homecoming together, so they could show off the pictures.

Betty made the rounds, making sure to greet all of her family members. Jughead stayed by her side, always maintaining physical touch, either holding her hand or draping a protective arm across her shoulder. He made small talk with all Betty’s relatives as she introduced them, and it was giving him a major headache.

“So, Jug-Head,” Betty’s aunt inquired, separating his name into two words. “What do you like to do for fun?”

“I’m a writer,” Jughead responded shortly. He had already answered this question at least ten times. Betty lightly elbowed him in the ribs, encouraging him to elaborate. “Betty and I work on the school newspaper together. I want to be a novelist one day, but even Ernest Hemingway started out as a journalist.”

Jughead looked over the middle-aged woman’s shoulder to see Polly struggling to find a seat. “If you’ll excuse me,” he put on his best fake apologetic smile. “Polly looks like she needs some help.” Dropping a kiss to Betty’s temple, he dashed off, feeling guilty that he was thankful for the pregnant girl’s struggles. God, he hated small talk.

“Oh, he’s such a gentleman,” Betty’s aunt swooned.

“Yeah, he’s amazing,” Betty admitted. Her reply was far from acting. Jughead really was amazing. Not many people would be willing to do what he was doing for her today. She made a mental note to make him an extra fudgey batch of brownies later to thank him.

“People are really buying our act,” Jughead mumbled as they swayed together on the spot, dancing to the soft song playing on the speakers.

“Yeah,” Betty sighed wistfully. “If only it were real.” They both froze, Betty turning bright red and when she realized what she had said. “I mean- I just-”

Jughead swallowed thickly and gently cupped her cheek. “If you want it to be real, we can make it real,” he whispered softly, causing a huge flutter of butterflies in her stomach. She nodded slowly and leaned forward for a lazy, tentative kiss. It felt like coming home.

“Eeeww! Betty and her boyfriend are kissing!” The pair broke apart when Betty’s little cousin shrieked out in disgust. Betty dropped her head to Jughead’s shoulder in embarrassment, while Jughead smirked proudly. “Betty and her boyfriend, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g,” the small child chanted as she pranced away, clearly proud of herself for interrupting.

“I probably would have died of boredom if you hadn’t come with. Thank you, Juggie.” Betty shot him a shy smile, her head still resting on his shoulder.

“It’s my pleasure, Betty. I’d do anything for you.” Betty’s chest tightened at the sincerity in his voice. How had she ever overlooked him for Archie? But none of that mattered, because they were finally together, and neither of them were going anywhere.

Let me know what you think!!

💚 Erin


I’m back from battle my friends! Otakon Vegas 2017 was so much fun~ Met so many awesome people, connected with some old friends again, and made new friends.

I made a pretty good amount of sales too. I really have to thank Mystic Messenger for that, ESPECIALLY 707. Everything I made of 707 was gone by the end of the con. I’m not kidding. Holy crap- if I took a shot for every time I heard “Seven” I would have been dead by Friday (꒪⌓꒪)

Thank you everybody for the support! Love you all so much (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

PS: The guy at my booth is my cousin, not me ^~^

frankchurchillsaysrelax  asked:

What are your thoughts on the 1999 Mansfield Park? It's been years since I saw it and all I remember is that Jonny Lee Miller made me like Edmund and be okay with him and Fanny getting together. Just wondering if it's worth a second watch.

While it’s not without its issues, I would say that as adaptations of Mansfield Park go, it’s the best adaptation of Mansfield Park we have available. I admire the bold choices Patricia Rozema made in her script and direction, which show what a director and writer can do in bringing a story to life on-screen with concrete ideas of the story they want to tell, rather than simply Putting On The Show of the novel. For this reason, it is, for me, a stand-out adaptation compared to many Austen films and miniseries(…es?).

With Fanny and Edmund, for me, there’s still that moment of “oh my God they are cousins” but much like the weird Wife Husbandry dynamic between Emma and Mr. Knightley, it’s a thing which wasn’t considered As Weird in Austen’s day and it’s just one of those things which will never age well as society begins to take a harsher view on these things with a better understanding of power-structures and the vulnerabilities of women and also how inbreeding works. (I know, I know, genetically first cousins are as likely to produce a child with congenital abnormalities as any woman bearing a child past her mid-thirties, but in the particular case of Fanny and Edmund it’s more of the social taboo of it, with them having been raised so closely. We all have those childhood friends who are no blood relation but it would be Too Weird to think of them romantically or sexually. (This doesn’t always happen, but it IS a thing.) Maybe it’s because all my cousins in my extended family I consider as alternative siblings who I just see slightly less often than my actual siblings.)

Anyway, the Kissing Cousins weirdness is just inescapable thanks to how Austen set up that particular plot so I can’t fault the film for being unable to change it.

JLM’s Edmund is sweet and manages to be as artlessly stupid and earnest enough to make him…forgivable? Almost? Like, I keep thinking of that one shot in the film where Mrs. Norris is offering ‘round the tray of biscuits or whatever to the whole assembled Bertram family, only to whisk it out of reach when Fanny is the only one who displays any interest in taking one. Edmund is right there, but happens to be absorbed in looking at the book in his hands, and so I guess he doesn’t see that particular slight…but he cannot seriously be that unaware, all the time. After Henry Crawford’s proposal, even Sir Thomas who is literally always in his study or else abroad says he knows there’s been noticeable neglect of Fanny in comparison to how the Bertram children are treated at Mansfield Park. Given just how willingly blind Edmund would have to be to let the mean treatment of Fanny slide isn’t exactly addressed in the short space of a feature film, but I still feel like in the stretches of time we are not shown but in which we can presume his ignorant behaviour continues, Edmund is still a dick by default. He ends up contrite and romantically fulfilling Fanny’s dreams and he does stand up for her sometimes and he’s so very much framed as the Hero that it is easy to forget what we don’t even see happening, but the more I dwell on it the more disgruntled I am, as always, about Edmund Bertram, in general.

I’ve yelled at length before about how narratives are adapted between media forms and how necessary it is (particularly with older texts which pre-date cinema and could not have been written with any such notion of such an audio-visual art-form in mind,) to know how to use film effectively to tell a story, and how to integrate what is important in the narrative you want to tell, and how to leave behind what is unimportant or unusable in the media format to which you’re bound. Rozema did this very well, I believe; and of course it is not so text-accurate an adaptation as other Mansfield Parks, but this, I think, its its greatest strength. A great novel does not necessarily mean its story, unaltered, will make a great film. Rozema is one of the few writers and directors who is courageous enough to actually adapt in her adaptation, to play to a story’s strengths and spirit, rather than letting a film get bogged down into something inferior simply in order to attempt to reconcile her narrative and characters with a source material which was never meant for film, in the first place.

inktober writing prompts #3


3. Warmth

Sherlock took the offered basket of baked goods with the same care he took retrieving evidence at crime scenes.

“I’ll start the tea, shall I?” He arranged his features in what he thought was a manner pleasant enough to pass for a smile. To those unfamiliar with his ways, the expression held more of a kinship to “I just stepped in dog poo and I don’t know what to do” than it did to any pleasantry.

“Thank you.” Joan shot him a private amused look and then turned her attention to her cousin. “So, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?” Arms folded, she stood over the woman, expressionless, and waited. Laura was not one of her favorite cousins or favorite anything elses for that matter. At best, she was a gossip and a know it all. Laura had made it clear on several occasions how disappointed she was with Joan’s life choices - a decent woman would be married with a child or two by now.

“My, my … talk about warmth. You and Lurch really need to work on your hospitality.” Oh yeah, and she was rude and insensitive - how could she have forgotten.

Joan took a pace or two away from her. “What do you want Laura? Why are you here?”

Laura shook his head, “Joan, Joan, Joan. We’re family. I just thought I’d check in with you and make sure you were okay, make sure the boyfriend was treating you right. He seems a bit of an odd duck …” She looked over her shoulder to make sure Sherlock wasn’t behind her. “Uncle Henry has told me some stories …” she widened her eyes and shook her head. Her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, “Drugs, unsavory women, strange rituals  … if you need help, just say so. We’ll get you out of here, keep you safe.”

“You know Laura ….” Joan bit her lip. She didn’t know whether to laugh at her or scream. For the sake of family peace, she had taken a lot of verbal abuse from her cousin. A small contingent of the family had always looked down their nose at Joan and her mom, never considering them to be good enough to be true Watson women. Laura proudly headed that contingent. Joan stared at this holier-than-thou, middle-aged sorority girl and something snapped. “You know Laura, I’ve never liked you. Contrary to what you think, you have all the warmth and charm of a raw scallop. You twist things to fit you’re own screwed up version of reality. Sherlock is family. He is a good, kind human being, with my best interests always at heart, more so than  …” Joan stopped herself. “I’m not doing this…. Unless you have something worthwhile to say, I’d like you to leave.”

“Whoa, Joanie, you’ve gotten to be as cold and nasty a bitch as your mother.” She sniffed out the words.

A tap at her shoulder surprised her and she spun in her seat to find Sherlock standing behind her.

“Madam, and I use the term in its most pejorative and whorish sense, you were asked to leave. I advise you to do so immediately.”

A flustered Laura reached for her things, muttering to herself. “Trying to be nice was obviously a mistake….”

“Obviously.” Joan raised an eyebrow at her cousin, and arranged her features in “smile” reminiscent of Sherlock’s earlier attempt.

Sherlock escorted Laura to the door, “And please note that should I ever hear of one more negative word spoken by you about Joan or in particular, Mary, you will find out just how cold and nasty I can be.” He glared at her and watched the woman exit , flustered and still muttering to herself. “You have been warned,” he called out after her as he slammed the door.

Joan beamed at him, “You really do have a way with Watson women.”

Sherlock offered her a true smile, “Come, tea is ready.”

Sorry, this got long. May have to move them to AO3 at some point

Auston Matthews - Part 8

Here we gooooooo

I quickly let go of Auston’s hand once I get my feet on the ground, he slowly drops his back to his side. My fingers still tingle as I wait for the seamstress to return with her supplies.

               “Thank you for staying with me, I don’t think I want to ever step foot in here again,” I say shyly, glancing up at him, even with the heels I’m still just a touch shorter than him.

               Auston lets out a small laugh, putting his hands in his pockets and shrugging his shoulders.

               “That’s what Alex thought, and it’s no bother. I prefer to stay out a bit when I get out of practice, it’s a bit boring living alone,” Auston replies. He pauses a minute and takes another look at me, his eyes going from my head to my feet, not at all in a disrespectful way, but it still makes my cheeks flame. I’m pretty sure he now just thinks my cheeks are always red.

               “You really do look beautiful,” he says gently and gives me a full on pretty boy smile that renders me absolutely speechless.

               “Thank you,” is what I try to say but it only comes out as some throaty noise. Luckily, the seamstress chooses to make an appearance at this time, carrying what looks like a sewing kit, a large footstool and another pair of shoes. I eye the shoes warily, all strappy and shiny, a beautiful death trap.

               “Switch out shoes first, these look much better,” she barks at me and I know I have no choice but at the same time I have no idea how I’m supposed to change my shoes in this dress, I look around a little helplessly and hear someone snap their fingers.

               “Put leg up here,” she orders me and I pull the dress up to my knee and bend my leg, propping it up on the stool. I hear Auston make a noise beside me but when I look up at him his eyes are on the ground, his cheeks a faint pink.

               I then realize that I just bared my leg in front of him and before I can even be embarrassed, I feel excitement in my stomach where butterflies had currently been.  I wait patiently as the seamstress switches out my shoes, out of the corner of my eye I see him glance at me a few times, always looking away quickly when he notices me watching him. I bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud.

               Once my new shoes are on and I test them out, Auston holds out his hand without me asking, his other at the small of my back, careful to not touch my skin I notice, and helps me up onto the stool.

               After the seamstress gets to work Auston takes a seat on one of the chairs and watches her. I’m facing opposite him but can still see him in the mirror before me and I can’t help but stare. He only looks at his phone once when it buzzes in his pocket, typing a quick reply and then putting it back in his pocket, he doesn’t look at it when it buzzes again.

               I try to think of something to talk about but he beats me to it.

               “You’re meeting is tomorrow morning right?” He asks and my stomach drops, I hadn’t even thought about it all day.

               “Yes, I have to be there at eight,” I reply, dropping my gaze to my hands at the base of my belly.

               “I can drop you off in the morning before I head to the rink, if you want,” Auston says and a strange comfort takes over my mind, blocking out the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach.

               “I would appreciate that,” I say, looking over my shoulder at him and smiling, however my small movement makes the dress move around my ankles and a pin scratches across my skin and I let out a small yelp.

               “Well quit moving, girl,” the seamstress scolds and quickly wipes at the scratch with a towel before it starts to bleed.

               I huff and face back to the mirror and catch Auston’s eye, rolling my own at him. He smirks at me and sticks out one finger before tapping it with his other, signaling a reprimanding. I giggle but quickly stop when I get a glare from the seamstress.

               “Oh! I almost forgot, can you grab my phone in the dressing room? I have to send my cousin a picture of the dress.” I ask Auston, who obliges and stands, making his way into my dressing room and my thoughts quickly go to the bra I left in the middle of the room. “I think it’s in my pants pocket,” I call out and a moment later he emerges with my phone in hand.

               Auston holds the phone up to me to unlock but I just shake my head and tell him my passcode.

               “Just take a few pictures and send them to Melissa, she should be near the top in my messages,” I tell him and stand still as he walks around me, getting all the right angles.

               “Aren’t you going to smile?” He asks, now standing in front of me, a grin on his face.

               I flush and look down at the floor.

               “Oh come on, give me an all American girl smile,” Auston prods, camera still aimed at me.

               I turn my head and look skyward, biting my lip to keep from smiling.

               “Don’t ignore me!”

               I can’t hold it in anymore and drop my eyes back down to him, giving him a full blown smile that almost hurts my cheeks. I hear the camera click once more before he lowers it down, his face kind of blank.

               “Well, uh, that was… that was definitely the best one,” he mutters and rubs the back of his neck with his free hand.

               “All done, you may get down and dressed, I will work on dress and then send it to your cousin. Yes?” The seamstress says, standing and putting her tools away, walking into the storage room before I even have a chance to answer.

               I reach out to Auston without thinking about it and his hand sends another shot of warmth to my very core. Goosebumps covering my skin I step down and to his side.

               “Thanks,” I say and motion to my phone, “let’s see them.”

               Auston swipes through the photos he took, and I can’t help but notice he took quite a few back ones than front and instead of again being embarrassed, that same excited feeling comes rushing back and my mind whirls around what it might mean.

               He finally gets to the last photo of me smiling and we both just stare. Everything in the background is a blur, like the camera was moving but I’m still in perfect focus, my smile shining through the screen.

               Auston lets out an amused sigh and rubs his face.

“Seems about right,” he mutters and I blink at him confused. When he doesn’t say anything more I take my phone and send the pictures to Melissa.

               “I’ll just get changed and we can go,” I tell him, talking towards the room and then remember my zipper. Oh no. Auston notices I stopped walking and raises his eyebrows.


               “Um, I just uh, where did the seamstress go?” I look around for moment and she’s nowhere in sight.

               “Something wrong?” Auston asks.

               “Well, uh, there’s a zipper and I can’t exactly reach it…” I trail off, my face a permanent shade of pink.

               “Oh!” Auston says, his eyes instantly drop to my dress and this time I don’t think it’s as respectful as a look as last time. “Well I can help with that.” He grins at me mischievously and I smack his arm.

               “Auston!” I exclaim. “What would your mother think if she heard you talk that way?”

               He doesn’t stop grinning at me as he replies. “She would think I’m being a proper gentleman, helping a damsel in distress and all.”

               I roll my eyes, “Because I’m sure you meant it in such a gentlemanly way,” I say sarcastically.

               “Oh, I was just teasing,” this time he rolls his eyes at me, his expression doesn’t look like he was teasing at all. “Who else is going to help you?” He asks, gesturing around the store and I scowl at him.

               “Fine, come here,” I snap and move into the doorway of the dressing room. “The zipper is on my left side.”

               “If it’s on your side why do you need help?” Auston asks, coming up behind me just outside the doorway.

               “Do you see a zipper on my side?” I ask back.

               “No,” he shakes his hand and looks back up at me.

               “That’s because it’s on the inside, so unless you can teach me how to dislocate my shoulder to be able to bend that way and still not rip the dress, I need help.” I say a little more snappily that I had intended but he just laughs.

               “Alex was right, you do have a temper don’t you?”

               “Just unzip my dress, Auston.”

               “I thought you’d never ask,” he whispers and I can hear the smile in his voice, this time I know he’s teasing.

               My smile instantly fades when his arm hand touches the bare skin of my back and I shudder slightly, more goosebumps erupting on my skin which I pray that he doesn’t notice.

               Auston finds the zipper located just beneath my arm pit, the tightness of the dress making it impossible for him to avoid touching my skin, which I’m not sure he’s trying to even do, and gently tugs it down. I audibly gulp and my eyes close on their own accord. All I can hear is his breathing behind me and every nerve in my body comes to life. Get a fucking grip!

               His hand finds the end on the zipper at my hip and I glance back him over my shoulder. He raises his eyes from my hip to meet mine, his smile gone. I feel a slight draft on my side and press my hand against my chest to keep my dress in place.

               “Thanks,” I say quietly, still not moving into the dressing room.

               “You know, you say that to me a lot,” he finally replies and I grin over at him, now stepping into the room and turning to face him.

               “Maybe I have a lot to be thankful for when it comes to you,” I say back, and decide to give him a taste of his own medicine. I trail my eyes slowly down his torso, hips and down his legs before retracing my steps back up to his face again. He shifts under my gaze, a slightly shocked expression mixed with something I can’t put my finger on written across his face as I slowly close the door behind me.

               Score Y/N: one

               Score Auston: 16

Love and Spiders

Inspired by these two prompts and the spider that crawled up my arm the other day.

Prompt: Howdy new neighbor I know you probably don’t know my name but you smiled at me the other day and you seem pretty nice so can you please help me and kill the giant spider in my kitchen. I will gift you with food. http://unblockingwritersblock.tumblr.com/

Prompt: if you put that spider anywhere near me, you’ll face your death very early. http://alloftheprompts.tumblr.com/

Word Total: 1974

Pairing: Fili x Reader

Notes: No smut, it’s my first Hobbit fan fic, Canadian reader (and writer), Scarred reader, Adult reader. I hope you like it! 

“What kind of call was that?” I yelled at the TV screen, appalled at the penalty the ref just called on against my hockey team, that was a legit goal! Throwing back the last of  my beer,  I headed into the kitchen, to check the pasta sauce that was simmering on the stove and to grab another beer.

Checking the sauce, I saw that it was almost ready, all I need was to start another pot of water to boil and get the spaghetti out. Once that was done, I grabbed a beer out of my fridge and went to go finishing watching the hockey game.

And that’s when I saw it. Watching me. The biggest spider I had ever seen outside of a zoo. Clinging to my cupboard like it owned the place. And it was sizing me up like I was its next meal. I froze, praying that I was imagining things, that it wasn’t really there. Then it twitched.

I screamed, dropping the beer bottle and running out of my apartment, slamming the door shut and leaning against the opposite wall, trying to put as much distance between me and my new roommate as possible. I needed to find someone to evict said roommate ASAP.

“Elrond?” I muttered to myself, but a quick glance at my watch showed that he would still be at work. And Lindir is quite possibly more scared of spiders than I am, so that ruled him out. The sound of muffed voices drifting down the hall pulled me out of my musing. It was coming from my new neighbors apartment. My new neighbor. He seemed like a nice young man, and smiled at me the other morning on my way to work. Maybe he could evict my unwanted squatter.

My mind made up, I approached his door where I could still hear muffled voices. “Damn, what if he has company?” I worried to myself, but the thought of being possibly homeless thanks to that spider spurred me on. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door. The voices quieted and I could hear someone moving towards the door. The door opened up and instead of the long brown hair and warm brown eyes that I was expecting to see; I was looking into beautiful blue eyes, long golden hair and a neatly kept beard, that had two thin braids that framed his soft looking lips. His beard was braided. And while one might find that weird in this day and age, I found it ruggedly sexy. Then the sexy bearded man smiled at me, flashing a set of dimples and I was done for.

“Wow” I breathed out, completely enthralled. Those dimples flashed again.

“I’m sorry?” Dimples questioned, snapping me out of my trance.

“Oh! Hi! I’m sorry!!” I squeaked, completely flustered by the gorgeous man in front of me, “Umm I’m sorry but I was looking for my neighbor, a young man with long dark hair?” I explained hurriedly. “I wanted to know if he could help me evict an unwanted guest…”

“Fee?” I heard man’s voice call out, making the man look over his shoulder “Who is at the door?” I saw my neighbor come around the corner to stand by ‘Fee’.

The blond man focused on me again “Hi, I’m Fili and this is my little brother Kili” he started, “We both live here, but I was out of town for work and just got back last night.”

“Kili this is….” Fili trailed off, looking at me expectantly.

“Y/N” I spoke up “I live across the hall” I gestured towards my apartment.

“Ah yes” Kili replied “I’ve seen you around.” he said, smiling warmly at me.

“Anyways” Fili broke in “Y/N said she needs help getting rid of an unwanted guest, right?” he explained “Are you alright, do we need to call the cops?” he asked worriedly, his gaze settling on my scarred cheek.

I smiled at his concern, my fingers automatically going up to rub the light scar that graced my cheekbone, courtesy of a drunken fall and the reason that I don’t wear stilettos anymore. “No I don’t need the cops, but an exterminator maybe” I chuckled nervously.

The brothers exchanged a look “Just what kind of roommate do you have? And where did you find them? Craigslist?” Kili asked me curiously.

“A spider of epic proportions  has taken up residence in my kitchen, and I think he was planning on eating me!” I blurted out “It jumped at me so I screamed and ran” I finished, biting my lip anxiously.

“And now I can’t get back into my house and I was in the middle of watching the hockey game and making supper” I whined.

“Who’s winning the game?” Kili asked

“I will get rid of it for you” Fili said at the same time.

“THANK YOU” I sighed in relief “I really appreciate it, and it depends Kili, who do you cheer for?”

“Pittsburgh” he grinned, “You?”

“Edmonton” I replied as we headed toward my apartment. They both shot me surprised looks at that.

“What?” I questioned “I’m from Canada. And the score was 1-1 last I saw”

“Ahh” they said in unison, as if that explained a lot.

“Exactly how big is this spider?” Fili questioned, ready to open my apartment door.

“Do you remember the spider from Harry Potter?” I asked

“Yes” They both said slowly.

“Well I think they are cousins…” I stated.

Fili chuckled but looked slightly worried as he opened the door and walked in “Where exactly is this– Damn. That IS a big spider…” he trailed off.

Kili walked in ahead of me “Man it smells good in here what are you mak– WHOA that is the biggest giant house spider that I’ve ever seen!!” he exclaimed excitedly.

“That’s great Kili, good for it, bad for me.” I complained from the safety of the hall. “Look, if you two get rid of it for me, then you can stay for supper. Spaghetti with homemade ground turkey pasta sauce. And freshly made buns. You can even take the leftovers home AND I will sell you my soul, just PLEASE get that thing out of my house!!!” I pleaded.

Fili grinned at me “You have a deal, but you can keep your soul….. and maybe even your leftovers” he bargained, winking at me.

“You have a deal” I sighed in relief, flushing a little from his wink.

“Kee” Fili ordered, “Can you run home and get something to contain this thing with.”

Kili nodded and headed towards their apartment

“And you are NOT keeping it!!!” Fili called after him, only to have Kili pointedly ignore him.

Fili groaned “Not another pet” he muttered in exasperation.

“I’m sorry about this” I said hurriedly “My roommate, Tauriel, is my official spider killer, but she’s off visiting her dad and our other neighbor, Elrond is at work and his boyfriend Lindir wouldn’t be any help, he hates spiders just as much as I do, I could have gone to hide there but I have food cooking, and OH! can you maybe turn the burners off? I’m sorry, I can’t believe that I left them on…” I couldn’t stop rambling, and ducked my head in embarrassment. What a first impression I was making.

Fili glanced at the spider then quickly darted over and turned the burners off before joining me in the hall..

“Y/N” he chuckled, gently grasping my chin to raise my head and look me in the eyes “It’s all right, I don’t mind helping a beautiful damsel in distress”  his hand moved to cup my cheek,  rubbing his thumb lightly over my scar, “So please quit apologizing.”

“I’m sorry” I mumbled, flustered by his close presence.

Fili laughed outright “That’s so Canadian” he teased, making me laugh and relax.

I smiled up at Fili again, but before I could say something, Kili reappeared, holding a large glass jar, with holes punched into the lid, and a newspaper. He grinned knowingly at us as he walked by.

“Please tell me that you are going to kill that thing with the newspaper!” I pleaded, as Fili stepped away and followed him into my apartment.

“Nope” Kili replied cheerfully, “Not a specimen this big! The newspaper is just to help get Spidey into the jar!”

“Great he named it” Fili groaned, making a face at me.

I laughed, as I slowly edged into the apartment to see what they were doing “Kili, you would get  along great with my roommate, Tauriel.”

“Tauriel” he repeated as he scrambled up onto my counter, after handing Fili the jar. “Is she the tall, cute red head?” he asked me, as the brothers moved into position near the twitchy spider, Fili holding the jar below the spider, and Kili rolling up the newspaper tightly.

“Yes, She went her brother Legolas went to visit their dad for a few days, or else she would be dealing with this vile creatuureeeee—” I finished off with a squeal as Kili prodded Satan, I mean Spidey, with a newspaper, causing it to scuttle away quickly, fortunately Fili was faster and somehow managed to scoop Satan Spidey into the jar and promptly screwing the lid on.

I let out a huge sigh of relief, sagging against the wall. My home was my own again.

“Ok” Kili started “We did our half of the deal, so when do we eat?”

I chuckled, “Soon, I just have to make the spaghetti quickly and clean up this mess” I gestured towards the broken beer bottle “And then we can eat.”

“I’ll help” Fili offered right away, handing the jar to Kili.

“Thanks” I smiled at him, “Can you refill that pot and put it on to boil? Please? and Kili, why don’t you grab us some beers out of the fridge and then go find out what the score is?” I suggested.

“Ok”  They both answered eagerly, Fili grabbing the pot, and Kili moving to put Satan Spidey down beside me so he could grab the beers.

“KILI ” I growled “If you put that spider anywhere near me, you’ll face your death very early.”


It turns out that it was Fili who kept Satan- Spidey. Which I  unfortunately found out the hard way when I went into Fili’s closet to get him a shirt one night after Kili started a food fight. Imagine my surprise when I opened up his closet only to find myself at eye level with the eight legged minion of Hell. Needless to say I screamed bloody murder. Fili came running in, swearing, apologizing and blushing at the same time. I finally realized then, why, after six months of dating I had never seen into his closet, not because it was messy but because it was occupied.  Fili told me that he kept Sa-Spidey because he might not have met me if it wasn’t for him. Satan Spidey was there when Fili proposed to me and was present at our wedding…. until a certain mischievous couple, aka Kili and Tauriel, “accidently” knocked over his cage during the reception and he got out. Panic ensued  and I never saw Spidey again after that. Best wedding present ever, hands down. I don’t miss him, but I do thank him for bringing Fili into my life.

Passage Home-17

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16)

Antonio pulled the van over down the road from the lake house. Climbing in back with Von, he looked at the three other men that they had brought with them. These three men were trustworthy and loyal, the brothers knew that the job would get down.

“Let’s get this done. The sooner we finish, the sooner we get home.” Von stated. “You men know what your job is, get in and get it done.”

“No witnesses!” Antonio replied. The group climbed out of the van, heading for the house.

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