i take you all

I love how LinkedIn is like “10 jobs you might be interested in” like yeah sure I’m interested but the real issue here is would those 10 jobs be interested in me? Cause I feel like that’s the more pressing issue here.

skillwiththequill  asked:

prompt starter: i do not have a crush

AU in which Astra is neither dead nor hell bent on mind control. Call it a shakey alliance only intact due to Kara. Pre-relationship.

“I do not have a crush.”

Astra raised an eyebrow at Alex. “Then do explain why you make an effort to ensure Director Lane is not only fed, but has private social time with you, is allowed into your home without warning, and is your second point of contact for a problem after Kara and before your commanding officer.”

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Just a reminder that I’m an Adult™ and if that makes you feel uncomfortable feel free to:

  • unfollow me
  • ask me to unfollow you
  • block me

I won’t get mad or anything. It’s important to make sure you feel comfortable and secure.

Marichat May Day 2: Purring

headcanon time because im trash

Not everyday is a good day. Adrien knows that. He also knows that his purring is useful to calm people (especially children during an akuma attack. Kids like the sound of it and that way he can do his job quickly).

So when Marinette has a bad day he tries to  do the same she does when he feels down: be there for her. And he use his purr to calm her a little. This purr is lower and longer than the ones he uses for kids, since he is not in a hurry and wants to express better what he feels.

Also forehead touches are a Marichat thingy, fite me.

Friendly Reminder

Sam Cortland was tortured, whipped, beaten, his eyes gouged out etc but he was okay with it because he thought Celaena would be safe.

Aelin Ashryver Galathynius is currently being tortured, whipped, beaten, cut up etc but she’s okay with it because it means Rowan is safe

What Your Favorite Anime Says About You
  • Voltron: You don't actually watch anime
  • Haikyuu!!: You watched this because you play volleyball. If not, alternatively you don't know the actual rules of volleyball
  • Yūri!!! on Ice: You jumped on the bandwagon and now you can't get off. Also you probably ice skate now
  • Free!: You came for gay ships not swimming
  • Attack on Titan: You're planning a murder
  • Hetalia: You have the history side of wikipedia bookmarked on your laptop
  • Ouran High School Host Club: You're a sucker for cliches (also you slam your head on your keyboard every time you have to type the long ass title of this goddamn anime)
  • Mr. Osomatsu: You don't know what to do with your life and you're just filling time
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lol Bae fell hard on Tabi’s back 

Dear lover,
There’s a reason to why we found eachother the way we did
the world was against us
and now we are so close
soon we can be together
just you and I
8

Make Me Choose

Todoroki Shouto or Bakugou Katsuki asked by anon ❀

10

Delphine Cormier: a woman of her word

The Types and Drinking Water

ENFP: Drinks from the toilet. It wasn’t even a dare or anything; they just wanted to know what it tasted like.

ENTP: “h20? More like h2-YO! Hahaha drink your water kids.”

INFP: Misses their entire mouth. Their over-sized sweater is utterly soaked, almost as if their nipples are tiny water falls. Shocked at this sudden development, they drop the glass and it shatters, covering the kitchen floor. Trying to tiptoe to safety, they carelessly slip on the water and onto the broken glass, nearly bleeding to death. As soon as they get discharged from the hospital they’re applying for an infomercial.

ESFP: Sticks their face right under the tap and desperately laps up the water like some kind of deranged and unsettlingly large house cat.

INTJ: * sips water* “ Disgusting. Tastes like licking a car. And you know why? The water we drink contains small traces of iron, zinc, copper, manganese and other metals. And you know who’s fault that is? Our inCOMPETENT GOVERNMENT.  THEY NEED TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND GET THEIR SH** TOGETHER. THEY’VE BEEN LYING TO US AS A NATION FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME AND IT’S TIME FOR A CHANGE. 

See more of my conspiracy theories on my tumblr blog @anti-feminism-pro-atheism ( the one with red and black theme and the Rainbow Dash icon).”

ISFJ: Has been refusing offers of a glass of water from their friend’s parent for 10 hours now and they’re really reaching their limit. Will probably resolve to drinking their pee Bear Grylls style.

ESTP: Kicks off the faucet, throws it through the window, screams, and lets the broken faucet drench them all the way from their flat peak cap to their $400 basketball shoes, their perfect abs showing through their wet t-shirt. Uploads it to vine.

INTP: * aggressively sips water through a Krazy Straw* SUCC  ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) 

ENFJ: *Makes it into Fit Tea™* “ This flattened my stomach, cleared my skin, watered my crops, improved my grades, brought Shakespeare back from the dead, got my parents back together, stopped war, solved poverty, and it tastes like Shrek in drink form GREAT. A discount code is in the description, guys! :D.”

ENTJ: Drinks the tears of all those ignorant fools they destroyed in the Spelling Bee last week. 

ISTP: They’re probably chained to a pillar in some empty warehouse as a result of a drug scandal. The only sustenance they receive is a mug of muddy water brought to them by a man in an anonymous mask twice a day. Free them.

INFJ: “Is this vegan?”

ISFP: Drinks the morning dew off the tulips and honeysuckle. It may sound whimsical in theory, but in reality seeing grown adult desperately licking wet grass and flowers in the town park is a rather unsettling experience. 

ESFJ: “Umm, tap water? No thanks. I only drink from my $20000 ultra healing magical energy quinoa infused crystals water filter I got off an infomercial thank you very much. The lady in the commercial says tap water gives you cancer and I trust her judgement. I even have her book, “ “vaccine” and “autisms” both haave six letter. Coinsidance? I think noot.”, wanna borrow it?”       

ISTJ: * Harry Potter Puppet Pals Snape voice* Today I drank some water for my breakfast. It was flavourless and watery. I thought of my mother. I cried.

ESTJ: Has one of those drink bottles with times written at different levels on the side to show you how much water you should be drinking throughout the day. It gives them a feeling of superiority knowing that their life is slightly more organised than everyone else.

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PSA: if your grown ass man is too scared to accidentally brush up against a wrapped tampon, it’s time to find a new man. Your period is natural and shouldn’t freak him out. #RemoveTheStigma #PrettyLittlePSA