i take pictures in the bathroom

SEND ME A SHIP and I’ll tell you:
  • Who said “I love you” first
  • Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background
  • Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror
  • Who buys the other cheesy gifts
  • Who initiated the first kiss
  • Who kisses the other awake in the morning
  • Who starts tickle fights
  • Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower
  • Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch
  • Who was nervous and shy on the first date
  • Who kills/takes out the spiders
  • Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk
6

I love this ridiculous, trashy, rowdy, obscene bar.

Bonus (Kix-drank-too-much edition):

2016 memes

2016 memes

January:
•bad new year jokes
•if a dog wore pants would he wear them like this or this
•all these suggestion blogs
•orange soda please
i’ll have the strawberry soda
me too, the strawberry soda
•You fucked up a perfectly good x is what you did. Look at them. They got anxiety.
•kylo ren is shredded
•Jared Leto: *does something*
Director: oh my God…it’s like…is he Jared…or Joker right now?????
•tag yourself
•super mario 64 half a press
•this is x. be like x

February:
•the finebros suing something
•secret government agent: *punches me in the face* SAY IT
me: never
secret government agent: x
me: *spits blood in their face* fUCK YOU
•bernie or hillary things that have a ridicilous issue and even funnier answers
•jean something, jomething
•damn daniel
•ted cruz is the zodiac killer

March:
•the dad from kuzco being like 👌
•kazoo kid
•everyone who watched zootopia is a furry
•history of japan
•x or y? *insert similiar pictures here, like donald trump and raw chicken*
•get you a man that can do both
•going to papaw’s house for burgers
•no oscar meme is dead meme
•we dem boyz
•i’m you but stronger

April:
•marge simpson
•different variations of the hs panel where jade picks up the note
•tumblr’s lizard voting
•everyone’s a dirty homestuck
•lot of those powerpuff selves
•baby stevens
•ruining someone’s dream journal
•there’s no way out of it you’ll just have to decapitate me
•autocorrect in verbal conversation
person1: i love you
person1: *hate
person2: this is a verbal conversation
•WHAT WE REALLY AREEE
•don’t talk to me or my son ever again
•dark x show me y

May:
•dan backslide (and dover boys)
•dat boi
•stone age spongebob

June:
•are you x or y person? (tag yourself meme in text format)
•get a man who can do both is getting more popular again
•it’s june where the fuck are halloween memes???

July:
•america memes
•IT’S HALLOWEEN
•the vacuum cleaner playing a harmonica
•associating characters/songs/etc. with spongebob screenshots
•this👏emoji👏after👏every👏word
•(any videogame) go, go outside and x
•a picture of something with text, and more pictures after that, in every one of the pictures the picture starts getting waaay worse, but the text gets really detailed
•HANDSY👏CLAPSY👏IS👏A👏NEW👏TROLLSONA👏
•judge: how do you plead?
x: *looks at y*
y: *mouths ‘not guilty’*
x: hot milky
y: jc just lock them up
•hitting the blue button

August:
•arthur screenshot where his hand is a fist
•9-1-1 for kids
•Exeggutor
•harambe
•RANDY YOUR STICKS
•sausage party
•how (character) are you feeling today? *numbers from 1 to ten with silly pictures of the character*
•alola form

September:
•the thing with voltron fandom where there’s train tracks and “death in season 2” and two characters and u have to choose which one to kill
•someone: a basic word
me, an intellectual: that word said with synonyms to make it sound weird
•gonna prank dad when he gets home ((he never gets home))
•[song] but it keeps getting faster

October:
•userboxes
•the presidental debate, i can’t believe that there still are people who want to vote trump after that, yikes
•dedede
•you vs the guy she told you not to worry about
•photofunia retrowave
•picture of someone with those math things
•my longest yeah boy ever
•taking a picture of something that requiers two hands in a bathroom
•posting ur favourite vines

November:
•christmas stuff
•dick: out
•sir, you’ve been in coma
•kermit with a hood on his head
•blurred image that says perfection, after that an image where glasses are being cleaned, and then something u like
•WE ARE NUMBER ONE

December:
•BODE
• *picture of really basic or bad food with text that’s spelled wrong and the phrase “bon appetit” is spelled even more wrong"
•*dropping something, and it spells send nudes*
•x but every time y happens it gets faster
*bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster
•several spongebob memes
•i described the meme about bad pictures with detailed text in july, it’s wildly popular now
•dramatic youtubers

apparently i missed a few things so, additions:
•steven’s knife
•joe biden
•aux chord
•dabbing
•a lot of spongebob memes, like the blurry mister crabs
•nebby get in the bag
•clowns
•harambe happened earlier than it says on the list
•several stranger things memes
•we die like men

I want to start seeing non-aesthetic-y pictures of practice rooms. don’t show me your sleek black music stand in front of the city skyline you can see through your window. don’t show me the impossible concerto you’re working on and your cup of steaming chai tea. take a picture of your crappy wire stand in the bathroom (because of the good acoustics) and an easy c major scale and a bag of half-eaten doritos on the floor. show me the truth

Dating JB would include

Originally posted by jaesbum

Im Jaebum

-the perfect man
-best friend relationship
-with tense moments in between
- ;)
-him taking pictures of you when you aren’t looking
-you getting mad and chasing him to delete it
-you’ll never succeed
-he’s too fast and will protect the precious moment he captured
-he needs someone who can handle him
-like legit probably get into arguments over the tiniest things
-“i swear you better not”
- ur gonna do it
- “you’re not the boss of me excuse”
- “Y/N don’t you da-”
- “are you going to stop me????”
- “don’t y/N STO-”
- “WATCH M E”
- “I SAID N O”
- meanwhile the boys are panicking in the other room because of all the yelling
- but when they come check it’s just you guys fighting bc of a video game
- “guys guys guys it’s just a ga-”
- both of you: “SHUT UP JACKSON NO ONE ASKED YOU”
- play fighting
- so many inside jokes
- you guys could be looking at one of the other members do something and give each other that look
- and burst out into laughter
- double dates w/ Youngjae
- he loves you two so mUCH
- in public the most you’ll get is hand holding
- but in closed spaces
- hEHEH
- he always has his arms around you
- pokes your legs
- your tummy
- and you slap his hands away
- but he keeps doing it bc it annoys you
- but mostly because he thinks you’re so c u t e and hot at the same time
- “you’re so cute jagiya”
- “hm?”
- “nothing”
- u heard and ur eternally blushing holy moly
- the boys adore you
- because their leader can get angry
- but u know how to calm him down
- and you aren’t scared to argue with him
- random gifts
- BOY ABOUT TO GIVE YOU A SCRAPBOOK
- IT’LL BE THE CUTEST THING
- So many pictures of you that you didn’t know about
- and of the two of you together
- of places where you guys visited
- pictures of you sleeping with lil captions that he wrote on the side
- when you’re sad he’ll hold you and tell you to stop being dumb
- and he’ll start making jokes about Jackson and BamBam probably
- and you can’t stay sad when you’re with him
-you’re his safe place and he’s yours
- you and Nora taking cat naps together
- and he thinks it’s the most precious thing in the world oh my god
- there are hardly any serious pictures of the two of you together
- you guys could spend hours laughing and making fun of each other
- if you live together beware
- there’s a silent ongoing prank war going on
- you’ll be coming out of the bathroom at night and he’s waiting outside to scare you
- “W HY ARE YO U LIKE TH I S”
- He’s dying with laughter on the floor
- “Yah jagi let me in im sORRY”
- the door slowly opens
- insert horror movie music
- “You can’t stay mad at m- OHMYFXKC”
-“THAT WASNT FAIR
- Now you’re laughing but u better run
- babygirl kind of guy
- you’ll be lying together in bed and he just gets real close
-starts whispering random things
- some not so random
- “c'monnn babygirl~”
- and he’ll smile right after
- late night car rides
- arcades
- clubs
- he’ll take you anywhere and everywhere
- you frame some of the pictures he takes
- and when he finds out about the pictures you have of him on your phone he tries to delete them
- but can’t figure out your password
- and whenever you fight with him he remembers about the pictures and can’t stay mad
- “I hate you get away from me”
- “You’re a horrible liar Y/N”
- “No I really do actually hate you”
- “Is that why you have all those pictures of me in your phone?”
- d e a t h g l a r e
- “you’re so cute when you’re mad”
- basically a relationship with Im Jaebum is filled with adventures and life and so much love that the two of you show in subtle ways
- whether it’s you listening to him sing and helping him through whatever he needs, big or small
- or him being your best friend and soulmate, always feeling the need to protect and love you
- you guys love each other like little kids and that’s all you could ever ask for

BTS Reaction to You SC’ing Them in Their Shirt While They’re at Work

Request:  Hi! Could I please get a bts reaction to you Snapchating them at work wearing only their shirt?? ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

Namjoon

Unable to hide his growing smirk as soon as he opened your message, he responded back with a photo of him biting his lip, captioned: “So you’re being naughty today huh? You better still be wearing just that by the time I get home.

Yoongi

Once he tapped the square by your snapchat name, his eyebrows raised in surprise before a grin spread throughout his face. He excused himself from the other boys and headed straight to the bathroom, proceeding to show you just how badly your picture effected him.

I think I’d like it if you wore just my shirts more often.”

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GOT7 REACTS TO: Finding hickies on their necks

Anon Asked:  Got7 reaction when they see hickey’s on their neck from the last night…😉😉

Literally just about every got7 request is sexual. you guys are nASTEE - Admin Dayna


Mark

The long lean string bean is a little (a lottle) embarrassed. He’s not necessarily ashamed of it, but feels awkward when it darkens or is in a spot that can easily be noticed by others. 

Mark tries extra hard to wear clothes that’ll cover it up. Sometimes, he traces his fingers over the hickie and thinks about the night before and his ears will get all red. For the most part he looks calm and collected - nobody suspects their bean is a siNNER.

Originally posted by j-miki

Jaebum

Doesn’t give an actual fuck. He gave a fuck - that’s how the hickie got there (huehuehuehue) but he isn’t going to go out his way to pretend it isn’t a thing. If people see, they see. If he happens to be doing an interview, he’d cover it up with makeup - just to avoid any scandals or rumors - but for the most part… he sees it, smirks, and forgets about it as the day goes on.

Originally posted by magiccastles

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lardo and chowder sharing a bathroom/being besties:
  • they have sleepovers all. the. dang. time. 
    • it started accidentally. lardo stormed into chowder’s room at midnight frustrated that one of her pieces wasn’t going how she wanted it to and just flopped right down onto chowder’s bed (and kind of onto chowder)
    • dude just takes it in stride and brushes his fingers through her hair and asks what’s wrong
    • they end up talking for like 3 hours then lardo says she can’t be bothered to go back to her room and they just fuckin fall asleep there
    • it’s the beginning of a beautiful tradition any time either of them are stressed or upset
    • it happens even when farmer or shitty are staying over (they just join in the cuddle sesh, it’s wonderful)
  • lardo once forgot to lock the bathroom door on chowder’s side while she was having a shower and chris was still half asleep and walked in to pee and screamed which scared the fuck out of lards and made her fall out of the shower
    • after chowder finished apologising while covering his eyes lardo vowed she would get him back for this
    • she still hasn’t but chowder is extremely worried about what she’s going to do and has taken to triple checking both doors are locked before even getting undressed
  • i’ve mentioned before that chowder really likes plaiting hair and often does lardo’s for her but she always likes to return the favour and chowder does have a crazy long fringe so lardo likes to do a plait from the crown of his head forward to his fringe
    • it looks awful (think malfunctioning unicorn horn) but he loves it and usually keeps it in for the rest of the day
    • the team aren’t sure whether to chirp him or not bc he looks so happy but does he seriously think it looks good?
    • he knows it’s Bad but he loves lardo and it’s funny and it makes her laugh so he tries to keep it for as long as possible
    • (also it makes his fringe go all curly when he undoes it and farmer says it looks really hot so Worth It)
  • lardo has a perchant for drawing really realistic dicks in the bathroom mirror when it’s steamy and she likes to leave them as a surprise for chowder when he has a later start than her
    • at first chowder tries to ignore them but they are very um prominent
    • so he starts adding to them
    • the first time he snaps her a picture of a giant dick wearing a goalie mask she’s in a lecture and bursts out laughing before she can stop herself
  • when chowder’s having a bad depression day and farmer can’t come round lardo warms up one of those beany toy animals in the microwave and puts it on chowder’s feet while he lies in bed and just sits next to him until he’s ready to talk or eat
    • sometimes he needs contact so she’ll lie behind and press her fingers into his back, running them up and down with just enough pressure that he eventually starts to feel more comfortable and present again
  • chowder once found a huge string of shark fairy lights at a charity shop and tried to hang them up all Arty around his shelves and stuff but ended up getting tangled in them 
    • lardo walks in when he calls for help, takes one look at him and immediately leaves, only to return with her phone in hand 
    • she then proceeds to take about 100 photos of him sitting on the floor with glowing sharks wrapped around his arms and legs, telling him to look at her and pose like he means it
    • eventually she helps untangle him but not until she’s put at least 20 of the photos on the group chat, changed her lock screen, and emailed a picture to mama chow
  • chowder gets lardo a giant stuffed duckling for a graduation present
    • she cries

People have taken pictures of him before. It started when he was a hilariously ugly baby with two beautiful and talented parents and it didn’t stop until Samwell. (“Hi Jack Zimmermann, You’ve been selected for the Samwell Swallow’s 50 Most Beautiful. When would be a convenient time for us to photograph you? You may bring any props you wish.” Upon showing the email to Shitty: “Shitty, NO.” “But Jack…” “SHITTY NO.”)

He’s taken pictures of himself. The hardest assignment to fulfill for photography class was the self-portrait. Jack ended up photographing his reflection on the Plexiglass above the boards. He looked like a ghost.

This is different. Jack consented to this. 

ESPN’s Body Issue. Naked.

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BTS Reaction to you texting them a dirty pic while they're out with friends

Seokjin - He’d be talking with one of the boys when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, thinking it was you texting how much you miss him and wishes he was home, but as he looked at his messages, he saw your naked figure laying across his bed, his sheets barely covering you. Of course, his growing erection urged him to text you back.

8:49 PM: you’re so beautiful jagiya~ be a good girl and don’t start without me

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Yoongi - As soon as his eyes landed on your bare figure, his mouth dropped, not believing that you even had the audacity to send him such a lewd picture while you knew he was going to be out with friends. He quickly replied to you, telling you exactly how he was going to punish you for making him sit through almost an hour of sexual frustration.

10:38 PM: fuck, you’re such a tease baby
10:38 PM: when I get back I’ll fuck you until the whole damn building knows my name

Originally posted by ky-ngsoo

Hoseok - Your picture drove him absolutely crazy in a matter of seconds, and that was exactly your plan. You were annoyed with how often your boyfriend was leaving the house to be with friends, but of course, everything changed now. He’d quickly excuse himself and run to the bathroom, either taking care of his situation or calling you to initiate phone sex.

9:27: fuck jagiya, why are you doing this to me?

Originally posted by hohbi

Namjoon - When he felt his phone vibrate in his jacket pocket, the last thing he was expecting was a picture sent from you, handcuffs hooked around your finger and his favorite lingerie fitting perfectly on your body. He’d tell his friends he had an emergency and leave, rushing back to you to give you what you deserved, not even bothering to text you that he was coming.

Originally posted by forever-young-got7

Jimin - Your numerous texts and nudes would drive him crazy, but he ultimately knew that he would be giving you the satisfaction if he came home right away… so he waited until the last second to practically have you begging for his touch, and he gladly complied, getting back at you for teasing him so harshly.

12:04 AM: I’m coming home now. you’ve been such a good girl~

Originally posted by hohbi

Taehyung - Even though your texts made him so hungry for you and your body, he would be able to control himself and wait it out, and to stay with his friends until everyone left. However, as soon as he would get home, he would find you and press his lips against yours, making your body completely melt underneath his touch.

11:49 PM: be patient, baby. I’ll be home soon ;)

Originally posted by jimin-bts-trashs

Jungkook - He wouldn’t know how to react, but all he knew is that he was definitely turned on. He’d awkwardly wait for his friends to all leave, and even then, he wouldn’t be sure how to make you pay for teasing him. Eventually, his lust decided for him and he came home to you, promising you that you wouldn’t be able to walk the next day.

Originally posted by scaredful

His ||Jungkook|| 0.4

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4

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Routine (Part 3)

(Camboy AU Parts 1 and 2)

Pairing: Kagehina (NSFW)
Show: Haikyuu!! 
Summary: 

“—it’s three o’clock,” Kageyama says, “on a Thursday. I don’t want beer, I don’t want juice. I want to know why you’re—” he gestures vaguely to Hinata’s whole, squirming torso, “—doing that. What, you got worms? Do you—did you catch something? Have you given me crabs because I swear to god—”

Hinata balks, waving his hands in the space between them to shut Kageyama up.

No, oh my god. I don’t—I don’t have worms, or crabs, or any other…parasites. I’ve just got this, and I’m super excited about it.”

This, as it turns out, is a rumpled piece of paper. Hinata holds it flat on his palm, flicking his eyes between it and Kageyama’s face. He hops a little on his toes, and pushes his hand right up under kageyama’s nose.

“It’s a list!” He goes on. “I thought about it all after our first time, but there was just so much stuff I didn’t wanna forget, so last night, I finally wrote it all down!”

Kageyama blinks down at the wad of paper.

“A…list,” he says slowly. Hinata nods, frantic. “A list of what?”

“Things we can try! Like, you know, sex stuff.”

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A-Z NSFW: Baekhyun

Originally posted by progamerbyun

Disclaimer: I couldn’t find the original poster this came from, but I got this from philanddanxreader, I didn’t come up with this.

A = Aftercare 
While he’s kind of a spastic mess, he’s a very tender lover. He doesn’t want to do anything to hurt you or cause you discomfort, and he knows how much his style of sex affects you, so he’s very keen on aftercare. He’s got a thing about smells, so I can see after being rubbed down with a warm rag or after a shower, he’ll give you a little massage with some sweet smelling lotion just to make sure you’re really soft and clean and happy.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
For him, his favorite body part is his hands(see to Kink for more). On you, he loves your legs. he loves how the warm skin wraps around his hips, how soft they feel beneath his fingers, not to mention when they’re surrounding his head…

C = Cum 
For the most part, he comes in you. But every once in a while he likes having you on your knees, and he gets to paint your chest. Of course, being the oh so loving man he is, he makes sure to clean you off too, it’s only fair since he made the mess anyways.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 
It’s not technically a secret, but what he really does with it is a secret. Of course, being with Baekhyun means he’s away on tours a lot, and after a long discussion of making sure no fucking one would see them besides him, you let him take a few pictures of yourself…for him to take with him on tour. But he didn’t tell you that he kind of uses them daily, when you’re not around and he’s locked in the bathroom…

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
This little bitch….anyways, EXO laugh at too many dick jokes for me to ever believe he’s an innocent baby, I don’t know if he’s put it to good use, but that boy knows too much already. If anything, EXO are pro porn watchers, fight me. Baekhyun’s hips and mouth and fingers…….he’s got the tools, and he knows how to work them.

F = Favorite position
Baekhyun’s a guy that I feel really likes just chilling, laying back, and letting you ride the fuck out of him. He likes that he can have somewhat control, holding your hips, guiding your speed or just holding you still so he can thrust up into you. Or his personal favorite, is you topping, laying your torso against his and letting him hold you, while you grind away.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Do you know who we’re talking about here? Baekhyun can’t hold a serious face if it meant saving his life. He’s nothing but a ball of breathless giggles in the bedroom, there’s not a serious moment in there.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
Baek’s so soft and mushy I love it…we’ve seen his tummy fucking hell the abs pics I just looked at for this part fml and his tummy is pretty clean, no trail. So I think he trims pretty well, I don’t think he’s bare, just keeps it nice and neat.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Baekhyun isn’t that romantic in the bedroom, beside telling you his love and adoration for you, most of his romance is reserved for the non-sexual part of your romance, where he tries to go above and beyond with roses and fancy dinners. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)
You’re not able to be around as much as he gets horny, so Baek jerks off more than he’d like to admit. He’s pretty sneaky about it, and can do it in record speed too. Anyone would think he just went to the bathroom, but nah, he’s just in there jerkin’ it.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
It’s kind of weird, but he has a kink for his own fingers. They’re so long and slender and so so pretty when they’re trailing across your skin, making your body so hypersensitive to his touch especially when he’s thrusting them in and out of your core.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
Baek, while a hyper brat, is pretty lazy when he’s got time off. He’s just lounging around the living room most of the time, watching tv and eating, so naturally that’s where you are too. Aaaand that means he’s not going to give a damn about moving into the bedroom when he’s horny. Honestly at this point, when EXO has time off, and you’re at the dorm, it’s pretty much an unspoken rule that the boys stay out of the dorm, or at least give a hour heads up before returning.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
He’s such a little shit all the time, the thing that turns him on the most is when you’re the one being a little shit. Giving him those intense looks that he knows the meaning to, brushing his thigh teasingly, lowering your voice to almost a whisper. He’s basically pushing you to the bedroom after that.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He’s more goofy and is on the same level with you in most things, dominance isn’t his thing at all. You or him,  he’d rather you be equal in the bedroom.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
The amazing vocalist he is, his tongue was designed by the gods for greatness, and greatness meaning going down on you. He’s a god, you don’t know if he’s trying to please you or kill you, honestly the outcome is the same. He’s going to kill you with his tongue. Your grave will say ‘died with byun baekhyun between my thighs’. Bless you. On the flip side, he’s a horny little toad and it would never cross his mind to reject a bj, he practically gets on his knees to beg you to get on yours.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Baekhyun’s what I like to call a jackrabbit fucker. He’s got such a fast and hard(not so much rough) pace it’s almost unbearable…almost. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He’s not the biggest fan of quickies, he normally isn’t very satisfied with one round, let alone a quick one, and he doesn’t like that, or knowing you’re not really satisfied yet either. In the rare occasions they happen, it always ends with a promise that he’ll make it up to you later, when he can really get his hands on you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
While he is kind of freaky dinky, I don’t think he’s that outrageous with sex. A few picks out of a kamasutra  book, a few new toys, one time you snuck into one of the other members’ room, but nothing leaves the house. No public sex or anything, he’s a mess when he’s home. I mean what’s the worst that’ll happen? The boys see Baekhyun naked? Yeah, like that’s anything new… 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
He does the very most…all the time. Baekhyun is such an excited puppy, he never tires out, how does he do it, what coffee does he drink, I need to know. His stamina is insanely high, he can go for probably 20 minutes(actual sex), and can last at least three rounds on the minimum. If you get in bed with Baekhyun, expect a long night.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
I think Baekhyun would have a few toys, just some basic ones. He has some handcuffs hidden away, and a few small vibratos so he can have at his mercy and he can play with you all night long. The idiot definitely has stupid condoms, like glow in the dark and star wars themed ones…dork…

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
We all know Baekhyun is a little shit, he starts with Xiumin, eggs on Soo(cmon yall know he does it on purpose), mocks the fuck out of Tao, he’s a full blown toddler. And he’s just the same in the bedroom, you’ll probably have to threaten to kick him in the neck to get him to get on with it, he can and will tease you until you’re pretty much in tears. Little shit…

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Listen….the boy’s a vocalist….have y’all heard him sing? Do I have to explain the high notes? Do I really? Well anyways, y’all might as well just record your sessions, SM might be able to weave some of them high notes into a new hit song for EXO. Baekhyun is so vocal and loud in the bedroom, I almost want to recommend you ear plugs, he might bust your ear drum while he busts a nut.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Bacon is a joke, I know it’s not funny to make fun of foreign names, but my Nana can’t seem to understand how to fit the Hyun into that, tbh she only has like three teeth so maybe she just can’t….anyways, it was a joke, that you got ‘Baekhyun’ Lube, and of course he was like ‘tf you talking about did SM do some weird fucking shit and put out a BDSM line of exo shiz or????’ ‘nah babe it’s bacon flavor. get it? bacon? baekhyun? lol’
side note, don’t even try bacon lube, it tastes like ass

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Baekhun does one of the best tuck jobs in EXO and it makes me mad, Suho out there jumping in front of a stadium of fans with his dick slappin his leg, and this little bastard can’t give us more than just a few bulge pics? Smh. Anyways, Nana’s word is law when it comes to talking dicks, and in the wise words of my 60 year old grandma, “he ain’t big, shorty, but he’s like…a humper…like a bunny just goin’ at it. it ain’t big, but he sure fucks you wild.” I don’t know what that means, but I’m going with it.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He’s like an excited puppy, he’s always trying to hump your leg…metaphorically, that is. He’s always itching to get his hands on you, it’s a wonder he manages to remember to eat and shower when all he can think about is how to get you back in the bedroom with him and out of your clothes.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Baekhyun’s a very clingy and lovey baby, we all know this. You can’t get him out your hair in most aspects of your relationship, and post sex isn’t any different. He wants to curl up with you, naked as ever, and sleep with his love, he’s not even going to attempt to move from that bed for a good few hours, have a nice nap y’all, congrats on gettin that good dicc.

pumpkin-pixie99  asked:

Jamilton!

anon said:  Jamilton? For the ask thing. Thanks! & @daremeidareyou said: Jamilton

  • Who said “I love you” first: Thomas says it first on accident. It was basically a slip of the tonuge. He had known he loved Alex for a while but would never admit that. It was basically giving Alex ammunition to fuck with him. But Alex made him coffee one morning and it was actually terrible (it was bitter and exactly how Thomas thought Alex took his coffee) but Thomas had just woken up even though Alex had apparently been up for hours. So he just accepted the coffee with a quick peck on the lips and it felt so easy and domestic it only seemed natural to follow it up with an ‘I love you’.
  • Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Thomas has a picure of Alex as his backgroud. The picture is of Alex somehow managing to balance on a horse and writing on his laptop. Thomas is constantly amazing by Alex’s ability to literally never take a break. Even while on vacation. Alex doesn’t have a picture of Thomas as his background but that’s only to annoy Thomas. Also because he loves the pic of his and the squad that is his background.
  • Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: They both do. Alex leaves morning notes for when he rushed out the house early. His notes consist of ‘Have a good day, dickhead.’ and ‘Remember not to be an asshole.’. Thomas leaves notes for Alex at night. Sometimes Alex gets home late from work and Thomas isn’t always in the mood to wait up for him. So he takes a shower and leaves a note in the mirror before he goes to bed like ‘Make sure that you’ve eaten today.’ and ‘Take a shower before you climb in bed next to me, you little gremlin fuck.’
  • Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Thomas is a rich trust fund baby that blows his money on the most unneccessary things. He buys Alex really random things like a typewriter and a quill with authentic parchment. Then he buys them matching rings that say ‘To Infinity’ & ‘And Beyond’ which is almost too cheesy for Alex but he also loves it.
  • Who initiated the first kiss: Alex does. They aren’t dating yet and have yet to even admit their feelings for each other but one day they’re debating. Not arguing, which is weird, but just talking out an issue they disagree on. Maybe it’s because they’re both too tired to fight or neither can rationalize a reason to argue that day but they are getting along. They have an entire conversation and it’s intellectually stimulating without raising either man’s blood pressure. Then on their way out Thomas kinda stumbles into Alex and Alex nearly topples over but they somehow manage to stay upright. They do end up almost tangled together and their faces are very close to together so Alex just closes the distance and Thomas starts kissing back and they don’t stop till they pass what’s considered acceptable in public.
  • Who kisses the other awake in the morning: Alex kisses Thomas awake. Thomas hates it and loves it. He really can’t get enough of waking up with Alex in his arms, kissing him awake, being surrounded by him but he does not appreciate being woken before the sun comes up and having to feel the warmth of Alex’s body leave his arms.
  • Who starts tickle fights: Thomas does when he wants to distract Alex. Like sometimes Alex is sulking on the couch and Thomas doesn’t like seeing him sad so he starts to tickle him until he starts laughing out loud. Or during a thunder storm when Alex is not scared but upset and Thomas just goes in to tickle him. Alex comes to expect the tickling when he’s feeling down and can almost be cheered up at the thought of it.
  • Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Alex doesn’t ask, he just joins Thomas in the shower. This is on the weekends when neither have to go to work and they can actually spend time together outside of a professional setting. Thomas doesn’t mind. He prefers not to waste the water and Alex contends that they’re saving water taking a shower together but Thomas insist they spend more time in it together than they do apart.
  • Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Thomas has to drag Alex to lunch in the middle of a work day. Thomas knows that Alex will not eat unless reminded and even when remided he will forgo eating in order to work.
  • Who was nervous and shy on the first date: Neither is shy but both are nervous. Thomas and Alex don’t know why they’re even on a date or where they are going. They had a one-night stand which led to a conversation which led Thomas to asking Alex out on a date. Thomas took Alex to a fancy french restaraunt. It starts off awkward until Alex brings up an upcoming vote in congress and neither can give up a good debate and they spend most of the dinner discussing various things they disagree on and finding things they do agree on.
  • Who kills/takes out the spiders: Alex kills all the spiders because Thomas is unabashidly afraid of them. Thomas yells for his ex-military, silver star holding boyfriend to come kill the spider and Alex is fine with killing them but it is annoying to have to get up from his desk to kill them,
  • Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Alex is a rowdy drunk and hangs off Thomas just ranting about how much he loves Thomas and even though he talks a lot of shit about Thomas, he’s like the best boyfriend ever?? And how lucky he is to have Thomas??? Thomas records this.

send me a ship

Pillow Thief - written by zadyalyss

Hey, I was the anon that sent in the pillow thief Bucky on fluffy friday and I ended up writing a thingy coz I was in the mood to write so yeah! I hope it’s ok… I’ve never really shared anything I’ve written before.

When Fury gave you the latest assignment you didn’t think you’d have to share a bed with Bucky. Not that you minded of course, your heart practically sang when you walked into your room at the hotel, but you could’ve sworn that Agent Hill booked a room with two beds.

“There must’ve been a mistake.” You looked up at Bucky, nerves making your cheeks flare up. “I thought-”

“Come on, Doll. Two friends sharing a bed isn’t so weird is it? Steve and I used to bunk together all the time.” Bucky grinned. He walked past you and placed his bags next to the lounge. “Listen, if it bothers you so much I can sleep on the couch. I’ve sleep in a lot more uncomfortable places.” He lay down on the couch before stifling a yawn.

“No! No, it’s totally fine.” You smile at him and point to the bed. “Pick a side, I’m going to change.”

 You head to the bathroom and change into shorts and an old t-shirt. Taking deep breaths, you try to calm your nerves. It’s not like you haven’t slept next to each other before. Plenty of times you’ve woken, curled up next to him on the couch after movie marathons. Steve even took pictures. And you guys share food all the time. You were like best friends. Except you have a gigantic crush on him.

But unbeknownst to you, so does Bucky. As soon as he came to the compound he’d liked you. You treated him like a friend from day one, and made sure to include him in everything. It was only recently that he realized his feelings towards you were way more than just friendship.

When you came out of the bathroom Bucky was spread out on the king sized bed. No shirt, and those grey sweatpants that made you swoon. “Move it, Barnes. I want to sleep too.” You poked his side and crawled into bed next to him. Bucky was on the left side, you on the right. As you went to lay down your pillow was snatched.

“Bucky!” You sat up, playfully glaring at him. “Give it!” You leaned over him to grab your pillow back but he stretched further away.
“This is mine now, doll face.” He put it under his head, poking his tongue out at you.
“Fine! Have it. I have my pillow right here.” You say smiling and resting your head on his chest.
Bucky froze, his breath caught in his throat and he looked down at you as you snuggled closer.
“No- wait, what no” he stumbles over his words, face bright red. You don’t seem to mind his stuttering, letting out a yawn before bringing a blanket up to cover your arms and his torso. Bucky didn’t stop watching you as you drifted off to sleep.

When your shallow breaths evened out and Bucky thought you were asleep he wrapped his flesh arm around you and hugged you closer. “God, I love you, Y/N.” He whispered, placing a kissed to the top of your head. He didn’t see your lips twitch up into a small smile.

—–

The next morning you woke up with Bucky’s flesh hand on your lower back, and the cold of his metal hand on your thigh of the leg draped over his waist. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty.” Bucky was watching you with a smirk. You grinned as you remembered what he said last night when he thought you were sound asleep. Sitting up, you straddled his waist.

“Doll? What'cha doing?” He rested his hands on your hips, a nervous smile taking over his smug little smirk.

You bent down and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. “You know, it takes me a while to fall asleep. And I may or may not have heard that a certain pillow thief loves me.” Bucky’s eyes go wide and you giggle before pressing your lips against his. The kiss lasts a few seconds before you sit back up. “I love you.” You say, a giddy smile gracing your lips.

“I love you too.” Bucky’s smile matches yours. “Looks like I’ll have to steal your pillow more often.”