i swore to myself i would never do it again and here we are

december 31st, 2015, 10:23 pm: i saw you for the first time. you were talking to a girl and i could tell that you were capturing her with every syllable that left your mouth. and i knew why: you were beautiful and bright, and i was drawn to you even then, like the planets are drawn to the sun.

december 31st, 2015, 11:58 pm: we met standing in line for the bathroom. you introduced yourself, and asked for my name, smiling when i gave it. “lovely,” you murmured, and repeated it a few more times, rolling the letters around in your mouth like a new food.

january 1st, 2016, 12:05 am: i could still feel you on me, your lips, minutes, hours, months later. the clock had struck midnight and you just grabbed me, didn’t ask if it was okay until it was over. you were laughing, brushing it off, all teeth and well-kissed lips, but i knew i saw you blushing. 

january 21st, 2016, 1:12 pm: you got my number through the mutual friend that threw the party. i still don’t know how you got my address. i didn’t remember telling you. you couldn’t tell me, either.

february 14th, 2016, 9:12 pm: you took me out to dinner and bought me chocolate and roses. it was all so cliche, and i loved every second of it. when you kissed me good night, i swore i could feel the rest of my life, pressed right up against my lips.

february 26th, 2016, 11:33 pm: we made it official. i remember how you asked me, how shy you got, like you didn’t know what the answer would be.

march 17th, 2016, 5:43 pm: we spent the day at the saint patrick’s day parade, and you filled yourself with beer and kissed me hard against the bar bathroom door. i drove you home and that was the first time you told me you loved me.

march 18th, 2016, 9:24 am: you called me and told me you loved me again. “i want to make sure that you know i still mean it when i’m sober,” you said.

march 24th, 2016, 1:09 pm: i met your parents at easter brunch. you had demanded i come with you, and i was glad i did. your mother was kind and beautiful, and your father was warm and handsome, just like i knew they’d be. after we’d eaten, your mother got me alone. “he’s never brought a girl home before,” she told me, “normally he isn’t very open about who he’s dating. but you, you’re different. don’t read into this, but i think he may really think you’re special.”

april 12th, 2016, 8:31 pm: you saw me naked for the first time, and you kissed every inch of my skin. i’d never felt that much love from anybody before that night, and i haven’t since. not even you could replicate those few hours.

may 5th, 2016, 4:57 pm: we fought for the first time. i ran into my ex at the grocery store and wanted to chat for a few minutes. you didn’t. when we got in the car, you told me that if i was still in love with somebody else i could just leave, and i told you that you should trust me and not be so insecure about our relationship. we screamed the whole way home and you slammed the car door when i dropped you off. i almost crashed three times on the drive home.

may 6th, 2016, 8:03 am: you came by with flowers and breakfast. “I’m sorry,” you told me, “you just mean so much to me, and the thought of you ever being anyone else’s makes me sick.” i smiled, “but you don’t have to worry about that now. i’m yours.”

june 16th, 2016, 10:51 pm: for my birthday you took me out to dinner and gave me a beautiful necklace with a silver chain and pearl pendant. we drank expensive wine and stumbled back to my place and fucked. i had never been fucked before, not like this. i woke up the next morning with bite marks on my neck and hickeys all the way down my stomach, but you were gone. “had to run,” you’d written on a post it note, “i love you.”

june 18th, 2016, 2: 41 pm: i hadn’t seen you since my birthday and you weren’t picking up when i’d call.

june 19th, 2016, 3:13 am: “ had to run,” the post it note had said. maybe you were running from me. i couldn’t tell if it was the 3 am darkness talking or the part of me that already knew.

july 1st, 2016, 4:01 am: i looked over at you, sleeping in the darkness beside me. when we were together, things felt perfectly normal. but now, i could feel the shifts. “are we falling apart?” i whispered to you, and although i hadn’t expected an answer, the silence broke my heart all the same.

july 4th, 2016, 6:47 pm: we were at a barbecue and i saw you across the crowd, talking to a girl. i saw the way she was drinking up every word that escaped from between your lips, and that’s when i knew. that’s when i knew you weren’t mine anymore.
july 21st, 2016, 7:08 pm: i brought it up to you. “i think we’re starting to grow apart,” i said, “there’s a distance between us that wasn’t here before.” you reassured me that it was all in my head, but i didn’t hear it in your voice. i didn’t see it in your eyes. you knew it was there, too, but unlike me, you weren’t trying to do anything to stop it.

august 10th, 2016, 11:37 pm: i lay awake and thought about what your mother said, all these months later. “don’t read into this.” but of course i did. i couldn’t help myself. fuck, i loved you so much.
august 15th, 2016, 1:12 pm: you invited me over and i discovered that the key you’d given me no longer worked. “i had the locks changed,” you said, “i’ll get you a new one.” it was a lie, and i knew it. you didn’t get me a new key.

september 8th, 2016, 2:00 pm: i caught you cheating. in a desperate attempt to revive the romance we’d had at the beginning of our relationship, i bought dinner and brought it to your place. when you finally opened the door, i saw it written all over your face; the way your eyes widened, the way your jaw dropped, the way your cheeks drained of color. i heard it in the stammer of your voice, the sharp intake of your breath, the grinding of your teeth. when the girl walked up behind you, half naked, asking who it was at the door, i already knew. “how could you?” i whispered, and you just opened and closed your mouth. the girl pieced it together and started screaming. she hadn’t known. i left the food at the doorstep.

september 10th, 2016, 1:49 am: you never called after that, never came by, never reached out, but it wasn’t like we’d needed to confirm anything. i knew it was over, but it took every ounce of willpower i had not to go back to your place and find out why, why everything.

september 27th, 2016, 6:20 pm: i kept finding myself huddled in a ball; in my bedroom, in my kitchen, in my shower. not crying, or yelling. just huddled, clutching my body close to myself, staring. still not understanding.

october 31st 2016, 9:01 pm: i spent halloween haunted by the ghost of you. your face was around every corner. i could still feel your touch trickling down my spine. that night, i lost it. the anger surged through the sadness and bubbled to the surface. i screamed until my throat was raw, screamed at nothing, about nothing, for no reason other than i was too full.

november 10th, 2016, 2:17 am: you called me when you were drunk and i answered. i listened to you ramble, vomiting up apology after apology. near the end, you told me you loved me. “call me tomorrow when you’re sober if you still love me,” i said.  you didn’t. 

november 25th, 2016, 7:15 pm: i went out on a date with somebody new. they didn’t pull me in like you did, but for a few hours, i forgot about you and i felt okay. i drank myself to sleep that night so i wouldn’t have to think about you. the next morning, the hangover hurt more than you did. it was a start.

december 24th, 2016, 8:12 pm: i was spending christmas with my family, and i was doing great until my aunt asked about you. i told her you cheated, but i was doing okay, and then i excused myself and threw up the appetizers into the toilet. i called you then, and when you picked up, i let out a sob. “you ruined me, you fuck,” i croaked, “and you can’t even apologize. not when you’re sober, at least.” there were a few seconds of silence, and then you hung up. i still hope that it ruined your christmas.

december 31st, 2016, 10:23 pm: i saw you for the first time in months across the crowd. it made me sick to know that even after all that had happened, you were still the most beautiful person in the room to me.

december 31st, 2016, 11:55 pm: you found me in the kitchen. “i wanted to tell you i’m sorry,” you yelled over the music, “and i miss you.” and in those final moments of the year, i thought about it. i thought about letting you back in. the countdown started, and you moved closer to me. and i.. i pushed you away. i turned away from you and said, “no. i can’t.” and i walked out of the room.

january 1st, 2017, 12:05 am: i have forgotten how you felt against me, your lips. and for the first time, i am finally okay with that.

—  a year in review -c.h. // instagram: @evanescent.love (via @poeticaffinity)
Heat of the Moment - Part 2: Awakening

Characters: Reader (Y/N Padalecki), Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki,

Pairing: Jensen x reader, Jared/sister!Reader

Warnings: Smut, Oral (female receiving), Unsafe sex (wrap it before you tap it boys and girls), Angry Moose.   

Word count: 1500ish

A/N: Andi aka @ellen-reincarnated1967 offered to write me another drabble for a series of hers I love, so I told her to pick one of five prompts but my overactive brain made a story of all five prompts. This is part two of a two part story.

2 out of 5 prompts are used in this one and they are bolded if you are curious.

Thanks a billion to @teenage-internet-recluse and @mamapeterson for betaing this for me. You’re awesome girsl :D

MASTERPOST

You squeezed your eyes harder together to keep the sunbeams penetrating the curtains from stabbing your brain. Fuck, it felt as if a herd of rhinos had a dance party in there. You let out a soft moan, trying to move out of the offending sun’s passage and stick your head under the pillow like an ostrich. You instantly froze when you felt a foreign weight wrapped around your middle. 

“Shit!” you thought as you slowly moved to turn your head. The sight that met you, combined with the dull ache between your legs as you moved, made your breath catch in your throat. The man beside you was still asleep with a blissful expression on his face, while your head and heart was tearing your emotions in opposite directions.

What if he regretted this? Fuck he is beautiful. What if Jared find out? Would it be bad to lean in and kiss those pouty lips of his? Dammit Y/N, focus!  

Even if you had no immediate recollection of last night, there was no doubt in your mind what had happened. You were both naked and the delicious soreness between your legs served as a reminder of where the adonis next to you had been.

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All Too Well | Pt. 8

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue

Summary: You and Yoongi shared a loving relationship with one another until you both agreed to end things and pursue your separate careers. But two years later, Yoongi is a member of the ever growing Bangtan Boys, and you are a new makeup artist for their upcoming tour.
Pairing: Yoongi | Reader
Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut; Idol & Makeup Artist AU
Word Count: 6,330

.

“Have you talked to Y/N recently?”

Jeon Jungkook flickers his gaze over to the speaker, having only caught the faint murmur of a voice through his headphones, before the maknae tugs the equipment off of his head. “Sorry, what did you say hyung?”

Yoongi sighs, shutting his laptop completely and silently beckoning the other boy to follow suit. He has been battling this internal question for the past few hours, in spite of its simplicity, but it’s the context behind the question that has Yoongi all worried about what the answer could lead to. He has always been told not to ask questions he did not wish to know the answer to, and yet here he was: asking something in which the response was likely to terrify him. Yet, still doing so anyways.

“Have you talked to Y/N recently?” He repeats, heart ramming out of his chest as he gauges the youngest for any shift in expression to indicate an answer. But Jungkook is no longer that shy 15 year old who couldn’t lie to anyone’s face, the boy hides his emotions well. “I know that you guys… are friends.”

Jungkook momentarily can’t meet Yoongi’s gaze—the youngest looks set on tracing the outline of the headphones that rest along his neck—before he finally looks up. “Are you trying to ask if I know about what happened between you and noona? Because I do.”

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Second Chances (James Conrad)

Pairing: James Conrad x OC

Warning: Little, tiny bit of violence. And giant bugs. Lol.

Originally posted by enchantedbyhiddles


I couldn’t relax. Couldn’t close my eyes without seeing it all over again. 

Choppers being tossed from the sky, like tiny toys. Flames licking away at molten metal. Bodies falling from midair. And those eyes. Those huge, yellow eyes. I squeezed my own eyes shut, desperate to make those horrible mental images vanish. Though the second I tried to think of something else, anything else, my mind wandered back to him.

To James Conrad.

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|| needy ||

{summary: i’ve never been so needy before in my life.}

A lot of readers want more fuckboi!peter parker, so here’s || absolutely || written in his pov 👅👅👅

im also gonna put this out there but cartel’s [[the perfect mistake]] is fuckboi!peter parker’s theme song ♡

tags [permanent + peter parker]: @ghostedwolf , @fandom-flash , @babeychocolatemai , @animexchocolate, @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @moonlight53 , @literatureandimmature, @daydr3ams-away, @wannabe-weasley , @mcusebstan , @tmrhollandkay , @pepcvina , @nekonerdxox , @lokigirl18 , @fangeekkk , @kylielo22 , @wavy-ley , @lghockey , @buckysendoftheline , @1022bridgetp , @potterjamesharry

**please don’t repost/plagiarize this story. Reblogs are fine**

warnings: mentions of sexual content, explicit language & attempts at an attack

——

Despite everything that’s being said about me (even if most of them are true), I genuinely did love Liz Allan, and she was honestly the first one I have ever been intimate with.

I met her on the academic decathlon team and recall joining it solely for the purpose of getting closer her, the team’s captain. I was in love with the waves of her dark hair and constantly imagined what her smooth, mocha skin would taste like against my lips.

When we started dating, it was like a dream come for me.

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anonymous asked:

1/3 i love your clexa writing and ive got a topic that isnt the nicest but im hoping youll still discuss it. lets not gloss over clarkes faults just cause shes the other half of our ship. we all know shes manipulative, cunning and stubborn. she has manipulated and used lexa more than once. i think these incidents all happened early on tho? so ok not so bad i guess? i dont like how she acted so hypocritically later on(killing Emerson), even tho she did come around. still, she went there. but my

biggest issue is when she proposed blood must not have blood. i have no doubt lexa made the choice cause its something shes always wanted as well. but did clarke fully know that? did clarke even consider the further risk to the grounders(more villages attacked) and to lexas very life this would bring? she seemed to be having a one track mind and only considering the well being of her people, not the grounders, not lexa. when titus out right tells her lexas life is at risk, she doesnt offer up anything. doesnt ask if theres anything that can be done to lessen the risk, doesnt propose a new compromise, doesnt seem concerned with anything other than making sure not one of her ppl are harmed. ‘including’(one must assume) the killers as well. it bothers me that she didnt seem too concerned with the risks this huge thing lexa was doing(cause she seemed shocked when lexa agreed, i dont think she knew how much lexa also wanted peace) was going to bring about upon lexa and her people

Ok um. I wouldn’t say she ever “used” Lexa. Tried to manipulate, yeah, but she never downright used her. And you’re right, the most memorable incidents happen early on, see Clarke’s bluff about being able to cure the Reapers, twisting and omitting certain events in regards to Anya’s death, trying (and failing) to convince Lexa to spare Finn. Clarke is good with words, she’s always been. She’s extremely clever and her power of persuasion is impressive. Think about all the characters she convinced to do something she wanted at least once by using the right words, from Bellamy to Nia the list could be endless.

You’re not the only one who has issues with how they handled “blood must not have blood”, so I’m not going to defend what happened 100%. But it’s pointless to criticize poor writing now, so I’m only going to focus on what we got in the show, not the what-ifs. Yes, Clarke definitely reflected on what to say to Lexa; as I said, she’s masterful at understanding what to say and how to say it depending on the circumstances. Her main concern when she first makes that proposition to Lexa is that her people survive. Clarke doesn’t want the people she loves and many other innocents to pay for the actions of a few. So she makes that shocking suggestion. But how shocking is it, really? How shocking is it for Lexa?

First, I want to focus on this brief exchange between Lexa and Indra. (x)

They are discussing about the best way to proceed, and as it’s clear from their grave voices and faces, the answer isn’t as simple as it appears. “In a day’s time we lay waste to Arkadia,” Lexa said right after finding out what happened. She was furious in that moment, and had the right to be. She found 300 of her people slaughtered for no reason, and Indra, one of her most trusted people, told her that Skaikru reject peace and demand land. So she calls for blood. But when her initial rage settles down and she starts thinking more logically about what her next move should be, we get this moment with Indra, and we see that she’s incredibly worried about what is supposed to be the obvious “solution” too. War. Because that’s not a simple solution at all, and the outcome is not at all certain. They have the numbers, sure, but Skaikru has guns. This never ending issue is even brought up again by Clarke in the latest ep of the show, when she’s negotiating with Roan.

It’s not as easy as it seems, Lexa knows that. That’s why she is so concerned. Not to mention that we have been told repeatedly in the show just how different Lexa is. It has been established that she is a visionary, that she doesn’t take joy in violence, that unlike her predecessors she doesn’t want war, she wants unity and peace.

Now, why am I saying all this? To show that Clarke’s proposition and Lexa’s subsequent decision don’t come out of the blue. Clarke doesn’t have to make her way in Lexa’s head and warp her thoughts: those thoughts are already there. I feel the need to bring up the script, because it makes what I’m trying to say even more evident.

See what I mean? Even if they come out on top, Lexa is well aware that there can be no winners in a clash of this kind. No matter who prevails, it will be a bloodbath anyway. And that’s when Clarke comes in. She gets there and suggests that Lexa changes things. Indra is quick to remind Clarke that blood must have blood, to which Clarke replies “Really? Because from where I stand the only way that ends is with everyone dead.” If you look at the script, that’s exactly what Lexa was thinking too, BEFORE Clarke said anything.

If we talk about attempts at manipulation, I actually would like to compare this scene to the conversation Clarke and Lexa have in 2x08, when Clarke is trying to convince Lexa to spare Finn. They start in a similar way.

  • 2x08

LEXA: You bleed for nothing. You can’t stop this.
CLARKE: No. Only you can.

  • 3x05

LEXA: Tell us, Clarke. How does this end? Have you come up with a way to save your people yet again?
CLARKE: No. Only you can do that.

Albeit extremely similar, note the difference there is already between these two exchanges. Yes, there is bitterness in Lexa’s voice, and maybe even the hint of sarcasm, but still, she is open to listening to what Clarke has to say, whereas in 2x08 she tells Clarke there’s no point in discussing (and bleeding). And then we get to the way Clarke tries to approach Lexa, which is strikingly different. (x)

Let’s focus on 2x08. Clarke goes for Lexa’s psyche. She takes that little information she received about Lexa, mixes it with her assumptions about how Grounders are, and she tries to use all that to influence Lexa and make her do what she wants, which is release Finn. What does she tell Lexa?

  1. To give a proof of her power. She is flattering Lexa, telling her she is powerful, hoping Lexa will be more easily convinced if she appreciates her strength.
  2. To show that she is merciful. She has already had proof of Lexa being a merciful person, and Lincoln confirmed it as well. So she shows Lexa she recognizes this characteristic that she has come to realize is important to Lexa, and encourages her to do something that will make other people consider her merciful too.
  3. To not act like a savage. She’s telling Lexa that that’s how her people will see her if she does this, not as the merciful leader, but as a barbarian basically. She is telling her to prove them wrong.

Clarke’s words fall flat, though. She is trying to influence Lexa’s decision, yes, with a speech that sounds very much like Clarke is saying Lexa can elevate herself from the “status” of savage that the Sky People have applied to the majority of the grounders. It all sounds too much like Lexa has to prove something to the Sky People, like it is important that Lexa impresses them positively, almost like she has to prove the good guys that she isn’t a bad guy. But Lexa doesn’t care about impressing them, definitely doesn’t care about the Sky People considering her a bad guy or a savage. “We are what we are.” She sees what Clarke is trying to do and she doesn’t fall for it. It’s not accidental that when Clarke stops trying to manipulate her and instead uses more personal arguments, Lexa doesn’t shut her down as coldly as she did at first but instead replies to her, “But Finn is guilty […] Then he dies for you.” and eventually even lets Clarke say goodbye.

So here you have the failed attempt at manipulation. Instead let’s look at 3x05 now.

There is no beating around the bush here. Clarke tells it like is. Her people did something horrible. And Clarke doesn’t even think about trying to justify them. She’s past that mentality of Sky People being better than Grounders that was still in place in 2x08 (even if progress had been made already). Here, she knows her people are in the wrong and what they did was awful. So no, I don’t think that she is trying to manipulate Lexa, even if only because she knows that Lexa is right in wanting justice. Of course Clarke is not going to say “Go ahead, kill them all.” There are people she loves in Arkadia, people she knows have nothing to do with what Pike and his group did. She talks to Lexa, she suggests an alternative to war (which we already saw it’s not what Lexa wants) and she argues her position with powerful words, because we’ve seen that Clarke is very good at doing that. But it’s all in Lexa’s hands really. Clarke never tries to insinuate her thoughts into Lexa’s mind. 

You know, I’m thinking about 2x08, about how Clarke told Lexa to prove herself, and I’m thinking about manipulation techniques. The events of Hakeldama take place a few days after Lexa bowed before Clarke and swore fealty to her. Now imagine if during her conversation with Lexa in 3x05, Clarke had said something like “Show me your words weren’t empty. Show me your vow is real.

THAT would have been a true attempt at manipulating Lexa. But it never happens. She doesn’t manipulate Lexa, she reasons with her. I think it’s important to notice that Clarke tried to reason with her people too in this same episode, and she failed. Her discussion with Bellamy was a complete disaster, and she couldn’t even get to Pike. Look at what she tells Lexa. (x)

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always considered this line right here pretty big. Clarke is placing her trust in Lexa here, she is trusting Lexa to do what her people didn’t, to be better than them. I don’t know, I’ve always found that a pretty huge deal. So no, I can’t really bring myself to say Clarke manipulated Lexa here.

As for what you said about not listening to Titus, I think it’s important to remember that their conversation takes place in 3x06, the episode that features the return of Emerson, who is the personification of Clarke’s demons. She is upset for the majority of the episode, she is so desperate to run away from what she did that she doesn’t think twice about agreeing with Titus that Emerson deserves death, basically going against everything she and Lexa discussed at the end of 3x05 and the beginning of 3x06. Is she being an hypocrite? Yes. And we’re supposed to see her as such, because we’re supposed to perceive how deeply her guilt is conditioning her. The narrative makes sure we see her hypocrisy, via Lexa’s words, “So blood must not have blood applies only when it is my people who bleed”, and Clarke’s reply to that sounds very much like a justification. So it’s not a surprise that she doesn’t listen to Titus when he comes talk to her in her room, she’s not in the right state of mind to do that. Also I would like to point out that this is Clarke’s face when Titus tells her Lexa’s life could be in danger. (x)

Even as upset as she is about Emerson, you can still see that she is worried for Lexa. Definitely not indifferent. 

Also, I would advise reading this analysis by @spacewalkeravenreyes in regards to the connection between 3x06 and 3x12, the episode in which Clarke kills Emerson, but what she did wasn’t hypocritical. Her killing him doesn’t deny the importance of her sparing him in 3x06.

Anyway, this got far too long. TL;DR I don’t think Clarke manipulated Lexa with “Blood Must Not Have Blood”. Clarke is smart and cunning and yes, she can be manipulative too when she wants to, but she is not the devious, evil snake sometimes the fandom takes her for. 

This is part one of ?? ask memes containing 00′s lyrics.  This post contains mainly popular top 40 pop songs.

‘  a girl like you is impossible to find  ’
‘  ain’t no other man but you  ’
‘  and in the back of your mind i know you should be over me  ’
‘  been fueling up on cocaine  &  whiskey  ’
‘  best thing about tonight is that we’re night fighting  ’
‘  boys just come  &  go like seasons  ’
‘  can’t seem to get you off my mind  ’
‘  come  &  rest your bones with me  ’
‘  did we get hitched last night?  ’
‘  do you see how much i need you right now?  ’
‘  don’t tell me you’re sorry cause you’re not  ’
‘  don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable  ’
‘  fairytales don’t always have a happy ending,  do they?  ’
‘  feeling like i’m heading for a breakdown  ’
‘  how do i feel this good sober?  ’
‘  how long will i be waiting to be with you again?  ’
‘  i bet you’re hard to get over  ’
‘  i can have another you in a minute  ’
‘  i can’t look at you while i’m lying next to her  ’
‘  i don’t wanna be anything other than me  ’
‘  i don’t wanna be anything other than what i’ve been trying to be lately  ’
‘  i drove for miles  &  miles  &  wound up at your door  ’
‘  i have the tendency of getting very physical  ’
‘  i haven’t seen the sunshine in three damn days  ’
‘  i hope you know that this has nothing to do,  it’s personal  ’
‘  i hoped you were coming home to stay  ’
‘  i just called to say i love you,  come back home  ’
‘  i just called to say i want you to come back home  ’
‘  i keep her coming every night,  so hard to keep her satisfied  ’
‘  i know i left too much mess  &  destruction to come back again  ’
‘  i know i tend to get so insecure  ’
‘  i know you think that i shouldn’t still love you  ’
‘  i never thought i’d need you there when i cry  ’
‘  i promise i’m not trying to make your life harder  ’
‘  i said see you later boy  ’
‘  i swear i’ll change my ways  ’
‘  i think i’ve already lost you  ’
‘  i think you’re already gone  ’
‘  i wanna take a ride on your disco stick  ’
‘  i want to make you feel beautiful  ’
‘  i was off to drink you away  ’
‘  i wonder if i’ll ever change my ways  ’
‘  i would’ve stayed up with you all night had i known how to save a life  ’
‘  if i just lay here,  would you lie with me  &  just forget the world?  ’
‘  if your heart is always searching, can you ever found a home?  ’
‘  if you’re gone,  maybe it’s time to come home  ’
‘  is there anyone out there cause it’s getting harder  &  harder to breathe  ’
‘  it’s not always rainbows  &  butterflies,  it’s compromise,  it moves us along  ’
‘  it’s personal,  myself  &  i,  we got some straightening up to do  ’
‘  it’s time for me to go home  ’
‘  it’s time to be a big girl now  &  big girls don’t cry  ’
‘  it’s too late to apologize  ’
‘  it’s your fault you didn’t shut the refrigerator,  maybe that’s the reason i’ve been acting so could  ’
‘  i’ll be your best friend  &  you’ll be my valentine  ’
‘  i’ll do what it takes  ’
‘  i’m bringing sexy back  ’
‘  i’m going home to the place where i belong  ’
‘  i’m in love  &  always will be  ’
‘  i’m leaving,  never to come back again  ’
‘  i’m not crazy,  i’m just a little unwell  ’
‘  i’m not going to write you a love song  ’
‘  i’m not ready to make nice  ’
‘  i’m still mad as hell  ’
‘  i’ve had you so many times,  but somehow i want more  ’
‘  let’s get this party started  ’
‘  let’s talk this over,  it’s not like we’re dead  ’
‘  make them boys go loco  ’
‘  my heart is full  &  my door’s always open,  you come anytime you want  ’
‘  please,  just cut it out  ’
‘  she acts like summer  &  walks like rain  ’
‘  she always belonged to someone else  ’
‘  she listens like spring  &  she talks like june  ’
‘  shut up  &  put your money where your mouth is  ’
‘  since you’ve been gone my worlds been dark  &  grey  ’
‘  so much for my happy ending  ’
‘  some things in this world you just can’t change  ’
‘  some things you don’t need until they leave you  ’
‘  spare me your frickin’ dirty looks  ’
‘  steal some covers,  share some skin  ’
‘  tell me,  boy,  now wouldn’t that be sweet?  ’
‘  that’s what you get for waking up in vegas  ’
‘  they say time heals everything,  but i’m still waiting  ’
‘  this is not what i intended,  i always swore to you i’d never fall apart  ’
‘  this love has taken its toll on me  ’
‘  this shit is bananas  ’
‘  times square can’t shine as bright as you  ’
‘  tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again  ’
‘  welcome to the real world  ’
‘  we’ll be playmates  &  lovers  &  share our secret worlds  ’
‘  when you look me in the eyes  &  tell me that you love me,  everything’s alright  ’
‘  when you’re gone the pieces of my heart are missing you  ’
‘  where did i go wrong,  i lost a friend  ’
‘  wish i had a good girl to miss me  ’
‘  you can hold my hand if you want to cause i wanna hold yours too  ’
‘  you got me twisted  ’
‘  you look so dumb right now  ’
‘  you put on quite a show,  really had me going  ’
‘  you reminded me of brighter days  ’
‘  you should turn yourself around  &  come on home  ’
‘  you’re so ugly when you cry  ’

Bend Over My Lap A.I

Originally posted by loserxhemmo96

warning: smut

word count: 1600+

summary: dominant!ashton - y/n cheats on ashton because she’s unsatisfied but he proves her wrong

requested?: yes, hope you liked it anon!! this is written by Hannah whoop whoop. Keep your eyes pealed for me and Hannah’s secret project, details will be coming in the near future so keep your snacks on the ready!

requests are not open! you can request as many times as you want :))

find Hannah here: @lukeasfuck

- Find my Masterlist here -________________________________________________________________

“What do you mean?” Ashton asked me and I saw his face start to quiver. 

“I slept with another man.” I looked down, trying to avoid his burning gaze. 

“You slept with another man?” He repeated in disbelief and I nodded my head. I looked up and could see the hurt in his eyes before he broke eye contact and looked at the ground. His expression was grim before he turned around and stalked to the kitchen sink, dropping his fork into the sink of soapy water.

I could see his arms clench as he gripped onto the counter and he slumped his head down, making my heart drop. How could I do this to the man I love? Yes, I had been unhappy and unsatisfied, but that gave me no reason to do what I did. I had no excuses.

Keep reading

A PAX Proposal - Jacksepticeye x Reader

Summary: Sean surprises you after his panel at PAX with an unexpected proposal.

A/N: Fluffity fluff fluff. I didn’t use any specific gender pronouns.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 857


Originally posted by lum1natrix

“Okay, so, that’s all the time we have for questions today, and I wanna thank you all for coming out.” Sean spoke into the microphone, moving away from the podium, and walking to the front of the stage. You were watching him with a smile on your face. You were so proud of him. For the past few years, you had supported him, travelling with him to every event he’d been invited to, and sticking by him through thick and thin. He always told you how much he appreciated what you do for him. Hell, you’d even quit your job so you could move to Ireland to live with him. And you’d decided to make a career out of editing videos. Not just Sean’s videos, but other YouTuber’s as well.


“Just before I leave though, I have one more thing I need to say, or do. So, Y/N, can you come up here please?” Sean said, triggering screams from the audience. You looked up at him, surprise written all over your face. You’d already been told that Mark wanted for you and Amy to go up on stage later for his panel, but you certainly hadn’t been expecting Sean to call you up as well. You awkwardly stood up from your seat, sliding past Ethan to escape the row you had been seated in. With the help of security guards, you make your way up on to the stage, where Sean walks over to you with a smile.


“For those of you that don’t know, Y/N and I have been together for quite a while now.” Sean said, turning to look towards the audience. “And I know what you all must be thinking, how on earth do they put up with my obnoxious yelling and screaming? Well, they’ve been asked that question many times before, and the same answer is always given.” Sean handed you the microphone, for you to give your answer.


“With immense difficulty, he’s very nearly unbearable.” You said, causing laughter to emerge from the audience. Sean made a sound of protest, joking of course, before he took the microphone back from you.


“Anyway… I don’t think I, uh, talk about it enough, or tell you guys enough about this, but Y/N has been the most supporting partner I think I ever could have asked for.” Sean said, now facing you again. “And I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them.” He looked towards the audience. “You guys have no idea how many times Y/N has actually rejected my attempts to be romantic, because I was supposed to be filming.” He put a hand on his hip, giving a fake exasperated look, before throwing his hand up in the air as if he were frustrated. “I mean, who does that?” The audience laughed again.


You were actually getting a little embarrassed. You were rarely ever in the limelight, and Sean didn’t publicly acknowledge you often, respecting your privacy. And one of the questions currently going through your mind was ‘why is he doing this?’ You had no clue where this was going, and hundreds of fans witnessing your confusion wasn’t really helping.


“Y/N already knew who I was, and what I did, when we first got together.” Sean continued his mini speech. “And they knew what would come with dating a YouTuber such as myself. They’ve had their fair share of hate, which I’ve addressed in the past, and yet they still make sure that I’m putting my channel, and you guys, above them, which is something I never asked for, or encouraged. But it’s absolutely insane that they understand how important you guys are, and how they make sure you get what you deserve.”


You spotted Mark walking onstage, walking up behind Sean. You grew even more confused. What was going on? Were they planning some sort of prank?


“Y/N, you’ve put up with so much shite because of me. And I’m so grateful that I managed to find someone like you.” Sean ran a hand through his hair, a clear sign that he was feeling nervous. But what about? You were still completely oblivious. “I, uh, had to ask Wade how I was supposed to do this, as he’s got the most experience out of us when it comes to this sort of thing.” He continued. “And he said to just do what felt right, and so I’m gonna skip the rest of the mushy stuff, and just say it.”


Mark, who was now standing next to Sean, handed his friend a small box, and you swore your heart had skipped a beat. Was this what you thought it was?


“Y/N L/N.” Sean said, getting down on one knee and looking up at you. The sound of his fans screaming was near to deafening, and you could hear the sound of dozens of cameras starting to record. But you couldn’t take your eyes off the green haired dork in front of you.


“I love you Y/N.” He said, opening up the box, and revealing a ring. Your breaths got shorter, all you could think was ‘oh shit’.


“Will you marry me?”

Divine

I followed all the rules, when I came here the first time. Listened to all of the stories, the tips, believed all of the warnings and the worries. Watched some classmates disappear, sometimes covered with excuses of transfers, sometimes not, watched suspiciously or with awed eyes to those who were suspected to be other.

But I never saw a single thing. I never saw the creatures late in the library, I never heard things scratching on my windows, and I never felt eyes on the back of my neck walking home in all the dark, clutching iron nails in my jacket pockets.
I’m from the South, you see, and down there we don’t have this Fae nonsense. There’s no flimsy fairy circle to be warned about, no rock in the middle of the road; sure, I’d read the fables, but that’s all they were to me. Fables.

I believed in something different. That’s all it came down to; belief. 
So when I brought the shrine with me, and gave it its own shelf, I shouldn’t’ve been surprised that everything left me alone for the first year. I shouldn’t’ve been surprised that, as I was deaf to my gods, so was I blind to the Fae. (You learn to listen in other ways.)

It was only that first summer, when I wore something other than a t-shirt for the first time, and my ankh tattoo finally was blessed by the sun for the first time, and my friend flinched away from me when I turned to talk to someone, it was only then that I started to take note.
I couldn’t see them - of course, this will come as no surprise - I couldn’t see them, I couldn’t hear or touch them, not like some of my friends swore they could, but.
When I was holding that ankh necklace, when I was wearing that tattoo, when I was believing, they could tell. I learned which days to wear the necklace over my shirts, and which days to hide it under the binder.

It wasn’t until two years later, when I painted gold onto my eyelids, that I could see for the first time.
But that’s getting ahead of myself. I had two years of knowing nothing; of seeing friends Taken and gone, of some of them coming back, of wondering what it was that I wasn’t seeing, and wondering when my belief wasn’t going to hold me safe anymore.
I brought my cat up to campus, in one of the apartments nearby (did the campus own these? were they just affiliated with it? I’m still not sure, to this day) and then when I set up my shrine, certain friends stopped coming in without permission. My cat followed me about the small space, over and over again, waited for me by the door every single day, and purred on my lap for hours. (It wasn’t until years later that I would call him a “familiar” for the first time.)

The next year was rough. I still never saw a thing; I made friends, I joined clubs, I branched out to new places and new people and new classes, I drew fantastical things in my sketchbook, I wondered and wondered whether the softest tone of a bell I heard in one class was something Other, I wondered and wondered whether the thunderclap that we all heard one day with clear sky was something Other, and yet I never knew anything for sure.

I stopped carrying iron, stopped wasting my ramen packets (that stuff is so, so bland without it, so I savored every possibly last bite I got) stuffing them in pockets, stopped wondering. I stopped looking at certain students with awe and wonder, stopped darting glances over my shoulder late at night, stopped pretending to have seen something my classmates had. I had followed all the rules; done everything right; and never seen a thing. I had friends who would swear up and down and around the mountain that they were real, that the Gentry (their word, never mine), had done this or that, that they had seen something or other, but never me. It was a quaint university, that was for sure, but was it really magical?

And then I saw her. She was the first person to ever seem More, to me, the first person to shine in my eyes like she had some kind of luck brimming in her smile, the first person to freeze me solid with her laugh (oh, there were others, who sent shivers all up and down my spine in the best ways, but this one, this one was different somehow) and the first person to touch the fox tail I’d worn for years with wonder, and not disgust or barely-hidden half-curiosity half-abhorrence. 

I bribed her with gummy sharks, all the while thinking about the fables - for, to me, they were truly only fables - of eating food in the Fae world, of being stuck there forever. All the while wondering breathlessly about the idea that maybe, for the first time, I was Seeing.

I met her again on the lawn, looking for someone else, and I sat and found that she, too, drew fantastical things and creatures without name. I found that she wore no shoes, and when she laughed I wanted to listen to the sound forever. And when her eyes glittered just so, then I wanted to drown in their blue.

I bribed her with gummy sharks, and dances, and honesty; the greatest gift that one could give on this campus, I had learned, and I’d honed mine to a brutal point.
And, eventually, when I tangled my fingers finally in that curly ocean of teal, dyed colors and colors that I did not know could come in a tube or a on a brush, I felt like magic for a moment.

It wasn’t until she flinched at the first mirror that I started to suspect anything, for real. It wasn’t until then that my heart knew, and my mouth started speaking with that brutal honesty it was so good at. It wasn’t until then that something in my gut changed, something in my heart stirred, and something in my hearing clicked.
I heard padding footsteps on the path behind me, that night, felt something curling in the mist around me, that night, as I walked away from her dorm.

I still didn’t believe it. Not really, not truly; but I did clutch to my necklace when I walked away, a little too fast, and I did relax in my car, sheathed in metal, a little too much. 

She changed me.

And when I told her my stories, her eyes lit up, and when she told me her worlds, I listened with rapter attention than I had paid anyone here, shivers dancing on my spine and gooseflesh on my arms (no feathers; I was embarrassed to admit even to myself that I had checked, later, in the bathroom, alone with my cat.) and something shivering new in my heart.
And when she looked at me, I felt like I had become the center of every vision on earth; and when she laughed for me, the feelings that swelled in my heart swelled without name; and when I kissed her, I thought that it was nothing more than what it was; smiles and flattery and - daresay - love.

But then the meat in the dining hall tasted a little bit different that night. But then the salt burned my tongue a little more than it should - how should salt burn your tongue, anyways? How do you describe what should and shouldn’t taste, how things changed just enough to notice them but only once, because pineapple and oranges taste so good, how had I never tried those before?

I’m getting away from myself again. It’s easy; easy to get lost. Maybe that’s what they mean by Taken, sometimes. Maybe that’s why english majors and storytellers and musicians are the most oft to come back.

Anyways. It entered my life in bursts, leaps and bounds, fits and starts: the half feral cats purred at my touch, the crows regarded me with careful eyes, the rain kissed my lips and dusted my eyelashes like gems. The music spoke back to me, random patterns finding less random and more sass; the tarot deck she would push into my hands would speak louder, eventually.

She called me beautiful; and I had no words to reply. She called me divine, and my heart sung out in response so loud and so unerringly that I could not say no, and within a month I had inked it into my skin.

The artist gave me rose quartz to hold, told me that there is no divinity without pain, and the sigils on my arms burned like fire the first time I stepped foot back on campus.
But that was alright.
Because I could hear them now, because I met the fox eyes and lightly glowing gazes with my own raised high, with a proudness that had infected me, somewhere, when someone a little less human and a little too magic had told me I’ll have enough confidence for the both of us, and at the end of that winter everything had changed.

I mean that mundanely, of course. I couldn’t See anything yet, but new scars stretched across my chest and suddenly, shirtlessness was possible, and suddenly, my tattoos meant something more, and suddenly, I was myself and there was no other way to be.
I convinced her she was Fae at some point, over that break, too. With whispered words beneath blue fairy lights, and the snow trapping us alone, with my heart beating so much closer to the outside world than it had been, wrapped in a form that wasn’t quite mine, we spun tales at one another until she was half joking to worship me, and I was half joking to change my piercings out for less iron ones.

The joke stopped the day I painted gold onto my eyelids. With her supervision, and my nervousness - just a little bit of makeup - just a little bit of makeup - we surrounded my eyes in gold and she smiled, by my gods did she smile, and my heart felt so radiant I could not want for anything else in that moment.

And then I left her dorm to trek my way home, to my cat, and my lights, and my bed - sorrowfully empty - and when I raised my head to meet the eyes of another student, I had to look twice as high as I ever had before.

As it turns out, the Fae have an agreement - this Court with others, that Court with some, ancient beings with ancient beings, and - for me at least, far be it for me to speak for others - occasionally, the child of the divine.
All it takes is belief - belief in the Fae, belief in the rumors, belief in the iron around your fingers and the salt in your pockets - belief in what will and will not work, belief in the world around you and the one that you cannot see - and belief in your own kind of magic.

I believed hard enough in the divine touching me - and, maybe, roped a child of the Fae into speaking it into truth - that maybe they did.
And now I never leave the house with my eyes unburdened by gold, without my fingers wrapped in a carefully picked pattern of gold and iron rings, without the glitter of divinity speckling my skin, without the pride in myself decorating my features, inspired by someone who won’t use her roommates’ iron cutlery anymore.

[x]

I was born on a child farm

by reddit user IamHowardMoxley

“There is no free will.”

Those are the first words I ever read. I woke to them every day for many years. They were written on a sign. The sign was hung above the opposite row of bunks in the Sleeping Barn. I have no memories from before the farm; I assumed I was born there.

None of the children there knew why we were here or where we came from…nobody even knew how long we had been at the farm. Some children aged. Some didn’t. I can’t remember much, but that’s what happens when you are not given too much to remember.

Keep reading

A Way to You Again: Part 6

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Language, Drinking, Angst

Word Count:  2153

Catch Up Here

Summary: Bucky and Y/N have been fairly successful at keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the Avengers. That is… until Nat walks into the kitchen one night and finds Bucky kissing Y/N. While Y/N is relieved that their relationship is out in the open it soon becomes more complicated than she could have ever imagined.

Author’s Notes: Thanks to the lovely @melconnor2007 for the request. Steve to the rescue!  I always love hearing from you guys <3.

Originally posted by supergayys

Originally posted by madqirl

I grumbled sleepily as I turned over in the bed. Another morning – another terrible hangover. It had been a few days since my phone conversation, or lack thereof, with Bucky – and he had been silent ever since. Today was the last day Nicole could stay with me as she needed to get back to her life, her family, and her job. She begged me to go with her, but I had politely declined. I needed to find my footing again and figure out what my next step was. There was no way I could go back to Stark Tower – not after everything that had happened. I sighed to myself as I stared at the ceiling. I could hear talking in the other room which I tried desperately to ignore until a knock at the bedroom door caused me to angrily huff, “What?”

“You have a visitor,” Nicole called through the door. My heart jumped as I shot up in the bed just in time for her to open the door. “Captain America?” Nicole asked jokingly.

“My friends call me Steve,” he responded as he looked at her with a grin before turning his gaze to me – the grin slipping from his face.

I smiled weakly at him – the sudden spike of adrenaline mixed with my hangover was making the room tilt in an odd way. “Hey Stevie,” I muttered before laying back down in the bed and ignoring the presence of both Steve and Nicole.


“And she’s just been like this?” Steve asked in the other room. It was a few hours later and I was fully awake, but unwilling to leave the room out of pure embarrassment.

“For days now. I’m honestly not sure when she’s been sober during the last week,” Nicole replied. I scoffed. That was a little overdramatic. I drank every night to help myself sleep – I had just always happened to drink enough to feel horrible the next day. “What about your friend? This Bucky?”

“He’s absolutely miserable. Shuts himself away from everyone else. Snaps every time someone tries to talk with him. He hasn’t been like this in a long time,” by the sound of his voice Steve was certainly concerned. I was too – I couldn’t help but feel a sudden urge to jump in my car and go to him.

“Do you know exactly what happened?” Nicole asked pointblank. I could always count on her to cut through the shit and get to the bottom of the problem.

“He won’t talk to me about it. He just tells me it’s his fault and that he’s miserable without her. Has… has Y/N said anything?” he asked uncertainly.

“It’s probably best that you talk to her about it… So you um… don’t really mind staying with her?” I bolted upright at this. I didn’t need to be passed off like a child – I was capable of taking care of myself. I pushed off the bed and stomped into the living room. As I opened my bedroom door Nicole was picking up her bags and already turned towards the front door. I stopped and awkwardly cleared my throat. I felt all the anger leave me in a rush; I really didn’t want her to go. She turned to face me and gave me a smile before dropping her bags and taking the remaining steps to close the distance between us before giving me a bone crushing hug.  “Take care of yourself, sis. I can try to come back soon,” she added nervously as she pulled away and looked at me.

“I’ll be fine,” I answered meekly.

“You always are,” she responded as she turned and grabbed her bags before making her way to the door.

An awkward silence fell on the room once she had left. Steve turned to look at me – his eyes already asking the questions that had been running on repeat in his brain. “So…”

“Are you hungry?” I interrupted. I knew I was in for an interrogation, but I wasn’t about to let it start without getting some food.

Steve shook his head in exasperation. “If I say no will it help me get the answers any faster?” He couldn’t help but let a grin tug at the corners of his lips.

“Nope,” I grinned back at him.

“Okay fine – you lead and I’ll follow,” he answered reluctantly.


“Why did you run off?” Steve asked as he set the plastic menu on the table. I sighed heavily –so it was straight to business then. I had hoped that maybe we could get through dinner with pleasant conversation and hold off on the heavier conversations until later. I motioned for the waitress to take our orders. Once she was gone I picked up my untouched glass of whiskey and swirled the ice inside it lazily.

I peeked up to see Steve staring at my intently. He wasn’t going to let me off the hook. “It… it doesn’t matter Steve,” I tried my best to be nonchalant but my attempt landed flat.

He scoffed – obviously annoyed. “It does matter and you damn well know it,” he replied impatiently.

I rolled my eyes at the severity of his tone before meeting his eyes and realizing the hurt that laid behind them. “I’m… I’m sorry Steve,” I muttered into my glass. “Everything just got so messed up.”

“Y/N, what happened? I can’t help fix it… if you won’t tell me,” he answered earnestly as he reached across the table and placed his hand reassuringly on mine.

I swallowed hard – it would be harder to tell Steve than it had been Nicole. I looked at him with a sad smile on my face. “I… I love him Steve,” I whispered sadly as I shrugged my shoulders.

This was obviously not what Steve was anticipating. His eyebrows shot up before he regained composure and a soft smile formed on his face. “Well that’s not so bad is it?” He asked shyly.

“Did you know he was sleeping with Nat?” I asked absentmindedly. Steve’s jaw dropped open – a slew of half-words falling out. “She said it stopped around the time he started spending time with me,” I added thickly.

“Oh that fucking idiot,” Steve whispered under his breath as he ran his hands through his hair. It was my turn to be shocked – Steve never swore.

“Steve?” I asked.

“He wouldn’t tell me… wouldn’t tell me why you had left or what was wrong.” He was shaking his head angrily as he spoke. “I didn’t know about Nat – I had no idea, but I did have an idea about you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, my curiosity had peaked over my misery.

“He started to change about five months ago. At first it was subtle, but it started to become much more noticeable. No one else noticed, because no one else knows Bucky as well as I do. I’d catch him daydreaming… He’d smile for no reason… He was just lighter… happier. For the first time since the War I had that young kid from Brooklyn back as my best friend,” he explained as he shrugged sadly. I suddenly became acutely aware of the indention my teeth were making in the side of my cheek. Even as he spoke I felt the butterflies that I always had when I was around Bucky. When we were together there was an undercurrent of excitement like some sort of spastic electricity that I could never explain or reason out – even to myself.

“I miss him,” I answered quietly as I fidgeted with the food that the waitress had set in front of us.

“He misses you. Listen – I’m not telling you to forgive him. Hell, I still plan on getting the full story from him, but come home. Please?” Steve reached across the table once again to squeeze one of my anxious hands. I looked up and lost my resolve in his sad blue eyes. There was no way I could say no.

“I can’t get hurt again Steve. I promised myself.”

“I know – I promise I won’t let it happen, okay?” He smiled sweetly at me as I nodded. Of course Steve was right – I needed to hear Bucky out.


“Are you sure you don’t want to head back today?” Steve asked as he raised an eyebrow curiously.

I shook my head as I continued looking forward. “I agreed that I will hear him out, but I don’t want to go back today. The drive is too long and I need to pack.”

Steve rolled his eyes playfully. His mood had definitely improved since I had agreed to go back to Stark Tower, but he was going to have to wait one more day. I wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepared today after his surprised visit. “So what do you want to do today?” he asked as he spun on his heel and looked at me.

I shrugged. “We could go to the beach for awhile. The weather’s pretty nice. The ocean here is just so much better than what we have in New York,” I responded.

“Deal,” he responded as we continued our journey back to the cottage.


“I know you’re mad at Buck for not telling you everything, but maybe you should meet him halfway?” Steve said as he stared at me from across the little fire we had built in front of the cottage. The sun was starting to set as the evening waned into night. “I just mean,” he added as he raised both of his hands in response to the look I had given him. “Did he know you had a sister?”

I sat quietly as I diverted me eyes from him. He had a point. “No,” I mumbled back.

“And I’m assuming you didn’t tell him for a good reason?” he added.

“Yeah,” I responded as I chewed on my bottom lip. I had tried to keep my life before the Avengers separate from my new life. It was relatively easy. My parents had both died so it had just left Nicole, who had agreed with my reasoning for the safety of her own family.

“Well I think I’m going to head to bed since it will be an early morning,” Steve announced – breaking the awkward silence that had fallen between us.

“Yeah good idea. I think I will too,” I mumbled. We put the fire out and headed wearily to our rooms. I feared that it wouldn’t matter how tired I was – the amount of nervous energy running through my mind and body was sure to keep me awake.


I blinked wearily – trying to wake myself up as we weaved in and out of cars on the freeway. Just as I had predicted I didn’t sleep the night before, making for a very long drive back to New York City. We had had several close calls from my less than stellar reflexes that left Steve grumbling in the passenger seat.

“Y/N! Stop!” Steve yelled as I slammed on my brakes and veered off the road. Traffic had come to a sudden halt and my internal monologue had prevented me from noticing. I put the car in park and shakily placed my head on the steering wheel with a groan. “Okay – that’s it. I’m driving,” Steve announced sternly before unbuckling himself and exiting the car. I sighed in frustration. There was no reason to argue with him after I had almost killed both of us.

“Fine,” I muttered as he opened the door and I unbuckled myself before exiting the car. I stomped to the other side of the car and threw myself into the seat – slamming the door behind me.

“You done?” Steve asked through a chuckle.

“Yes,” I muttered as I shed my hoodie before buckling my seatbelt. I wadded the hoodie into a makeshift pillow and placed it between my head and the window before closing my eyes. Maybe I was tired enough to rest for awhile. “Steve?” I asked as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

“Yeah?” he responded as we pulled back onto the highway. We had about four hours left before we reached the city and there had been something I had been meaning to ask Steve.

“Something has… er… well I’ve been wondering something ever since you showed up…. Why did you come instead of Bucky?” I didn’t immediately receive an answer from him so I peeked through my lashes to see him clutching my steering wheel with white knuckles. I had the sudden fear that he would snap it in two.

He chuckled nervously. “Well… I thought I was less likely to get punched than he would,” he responded before falling into an awkward silence.

“And?” I asked as I lifted my head and turned to look at him.

“Well Bucky doesn’t exactly know that I am with you,” he responded nervously as he turned to give me a wink.


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@bless-my-demons @lillian-paige @pleasefixthepain @nikkitia7 @kittthekat @ailynalonso15 @themistsofmyavalon @coffeeismylife28 @melconnor2007 @harleyqueen7 @sebbys-girl @marvel-lucy @lbouvet @totallygroovyllama @stickthinbarbie @avengers-bucky-fanfic @buckybarnesbestbabe @irepeldirt @glitterintheairblog @mizzzpink @barnesandnoble13 @themercurialmadhatter @bringmetheemobands @theloveablesociopath @selfdestructivefangirl @bellenuit45 @moncun @smkunz613 @ephemeral-high @the-craziestone @zxcorra @awinterloveuniverse @thefandomplace @hellomissmabel @imamoose @dont-let-me-go-again @barnes-and-noble-girl @hollycornish @amrita31199 @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @skeletoresinthebasement @iron-winter @mikaelarhead @shliic @queenllamamama13 @jasmins3 @caitsymichelle13 @winterboobaer @mytasterpeculiar @bexboo616 @sgt-jbb-107 @sapphire1727 @seargantbcky @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @fiercemonaco @marvelouslyloki @kendallefire @lilasiannerd @alyssaj23 @harleenquim @masha-meow01 @simplyashley95 @beautifulbri26 @buckyappreciationsociety @specs15 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @basicallybucky @and-i-swear-we-are-infinte @tequilavet @welovesebsquad @shamvictoria11 @megandrawsspace @axelinchen @domcaaa996 @get-weird-pjjl @buckypietroandstevearemyfavs

ch. 3

Bad Habits || Jaebum

Originally posted by jjaenyoung

Reader (you) x Jaebum ft got7 members

Word Count: 1442

Warnings: violence (this chapter goes from 1-100 real quick lmao)

note: hii~ hope everyone is having a good day! for those who don’t know, i’ve finally created a twitter account so you should all follow me haha (the username is the same as my tumblr url) anyways, happy reading and take care! -admin


The weekend was finally over which meant I had to go back to classes and listen to boring lectures. However, I would rather go to my classes than stay at home and think about the events that happened over the weekend. I needed a distraction. Ever since the incident at the bar, I couldn’t take my mind off of Jaebum. It was something about him that seemed intriguing to my eyes. The way his fingers touched the soft skin of my waist made me yearn for more. It was a horrible feeling I wanted to get rid of because I swore to myself I would never get mixed up in any dangerous business. But my heart told me differently.

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The Things She Carried

Part 4. Human After All

Dean x Reader

Masterpost with all the parts

Summary: Dean meets a huntress. Well, he would define her a robot. At least until he gets to know her…

Word Count: 1700+

Warnings: Potentially triggering for those who have lost their mom.

Tags: @mrswhozeewhatsis @daydreamingintheimpala @mysoul4dean @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @amoreagron @spnfangirl1965 @aristtewinchesterholmes @thisisthelilith @chelsea072498 @aiaranradnay @skymoonandstardust @apeshit7x @anokhi07 @tatortot2701 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @mangasia @squirrellover1967@sharkeeshark @maui137 @electricbluecas @kazchester-fanfiction @gabavaldman @riversong-sam @lavieenlex @zanthiasplace @holywaterbucketchallenge @soullessbabee @loricwizardbluetoastedcake @extreme-supernatural-lover @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @barneybrigade @iliketowrite02 @itschelseabennett @mogaruke @stormisamystery

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Beguiling Bubbles

Pairing: George x Reader
Request: Request where (Y/n) gets dosed with a love potion by someone else, but she accidentally falls for one of the twins instead
A/N: Sorry it’s been ages! It’s very late at night so this hasn’t been edited. Also, where I go into detail about how the first person the drinker sees is who they fall for, that was pulled directly out of my ass souly for the purpose of the story because the wiki didn’t have much on the other potions that weren’t amortentia so I made it up 
Squicks: little bit of swearing


~George’s POV~

He sort of blackmailed me into it. Seamus Finnigan knew about the shipments for the store that we were hiding in the Docks, and threatened to go to McGonagall if we didn’t help him out.

“Which one of you is the least crap at potions?” he had asked me and Fred, smiling while thinking of all the possibilities now that he had us under his thumb.

“Neither of us are shit at potions mate,” Fred stood up for himself, sneering down at the little stain who thought he could boss us around.

“Alright, if one of you can get a love potion to me by tomorrow night I’ll keep your little secret, howzabout it?”

We had no clue what he wanted a love potion for, but we didn’t really care. The less we had to spend dealing with that git the better.

You’re the least shit at potions,” Fred said to me once Seamus had buggered off, “do you wanna make it?” I groaned in response, honestly not wanting to go through the trouble of sneaking into Snape’s little pantry to get out some shit that I don’t even want, then go to the trouble of making this damn thing, again when it isn’t even something I want.

We stayed up that night making the blasted potion, Fred insisting that he was there for encouragement purposes. Not many people knew that I was actually alright at Potions, especially since Snape would never dream of giving me the marks to show it…

At around 3 in the morning, the stupid potion was done. We poured it into one of the empty bottles from the ingredients that we nicked, and snuck back up to Gryffindor tower. On our way back up to our dorm, we made sure to make a stop on the way. “Oi, what the f—“ Seamus started, freaking out at the sudden awakening of Fred shoving him, “There’s your perfume, now get off our backs,” I whispered sharply at Seamus, as he took the bottle and told us to piss off.

— — Morning (Regular POV) — —

Fred and George were at the Gryffindor table, their lack of sleep evident in their flippant attitude and tired looks. They broke out of this mood, however, when Seamus grasped their curiosity. He was whispering to Dean, holding the glass bottle filled with the cherry pink potion that George had made a few hours ago.

“What have you got, Seamus?” Ron called out, nothing his shifty behaviour as well as the unusual bottle. He was immediately shushed and shot an intimidating glare with wild hand movements, “Keep it down, Weasley! It’s a love potion idiot, I’m going to get Y/n to be all over me!” Seamus laughed, while Ron, Hermione and Harry all looked awkwardly and warily each other.

Fred’s eyes widened as he looked over at his twin, who had an angry expression on his face, mixed with fear. George, much like Seamus, had feelings for Y/n, and Fred knew about it because, well, of course he does. The two weren’t particularly close with Y/n, but that didn’t stop George crushing over her constantly.

Seamus and Dean laughed, as they nodded to each other, silently setting their plan in motion. Before George had the chance to do anything, Dean had started a conversation with Y/n, causing her to look away from her breakfast, while Seamus poured the contents of the bottle into her orange juice. George looked at Seamus with a panicked expression, only to have it returned with Seamus’ glare, wordlessly sending him a warning of what he’ll do if George blew his cover.

Fred quietly swore to himself, the gears in his brain trying to work out a solution, while George weighed out his options: lose Y/n or lose the shop. In these moments, the answer was obvious to George, but as he looked back at her, she was already bringing the glass to her lips.

“Y/N—!” George tried to warn her. As she drank the liquid she looked across the table at George, her eyes lingering on him. Seamus and Dean laughed and high-fived from behind her, as she put the glass back on the table.


Now would be a good time to take note on the assortments of love potions. There are five known assortments of love potions, each with assumingly different effects. George, having not opened up the shop with his brother yet, had not yet needed to test out these different types. Unlike Amortentia where the giver of the potion is the one the drinker will be infatuated with, it’s the first person that the drinker sees that they will be infatuated with in this case.

— — George’s POV — —

She kept staring at me, as if something was stopping her from looking away. A smile slowly formed on her lips, as she rested her head in her hands, still staring at me.

“Y/n? You alright there?” Fred asked, moving his head next to mine to try and get her to look at him. She kept staring, her smile big as she replied in an airy voice, “never been better”.

Seamus, clearly annoyed, sat directly next to Y/n and moved her head with his hands so that she was facing him, “Helloooo?” he said into her face,

“I’d rather look at George Weasley,” she giggled, looking back at me, her head resting in her hands again, “God, you’re handsome, isn’t he handsome, er, whatever your name is,” she said to Seamus, causing Fred and Dean to laugh and Seamus to look like he would explode with anger.

“Uh, how about we go for a walk?” I suggest quickly, standing up as more people start to pay attention to the small scene.

Y/n gasped with excitement, “yes! Let’s go on a loooong romantic walk together!”

I start to walk toward the door with Y/n walking on the other side of the table at the same pace, watching me still with that smile.

Fred nudged me, “George, mate, don’t get sucked into it, it’s the potion talking—“

“I know,” I say quietly back, “we’re going to the hospital wing”.


Walking all the way up to the hospital wing was nothing short of a nightmare. All I’ve wanted was for Y/n to have feelings for me, but there’s only so many compliments, hand holding, cuddles and heart eyes one man can take in the space of five minutes.

“What’s the problem?” Madam Pomfrey asked,

“Y/n’s been slipped a love potion,” Fred says, as I hold up my arm which Y/n is hugging.

“Ah, I see,” Madam Pomfrey says sceptically, “I hope you realise that love potions are banned from Hogwarts…”

I explained to her that I wasn’t the one to slip Y/n that blasted potion, but how I was the first one she looked at afterwards. She thankfully believed me, and sat the dazed Y/n down on one of the hospital beds and handing her an antidote.

“Isn’t he dreamy…” Y/n giggled, eyes back on me.

“I think it best that the two of you leave, or else the antidote will take much longer to work,” Madam Pomfrey explained, as Y/n flipped her hair and sent me a wink.

Fred and I both agreed, and we said good-bye to Y/n, to which she started crying. “Noooooo George, I don’t want you to leave, pleeeeeeease!” she whaled.

“It would make me really happy if you just stayed here and got some rest, alright?” I asked her, looking down at my hand that she had taken in her own. It stung that she was only acting as if she was in love with me because of a potion, and that she didn’t really have any of these feelings towards me, not really. I wanted to get out of there soon as possible so I wouldn’t have to think about that, but there was also something that felt perfect about my hand being in hers.


After a few hours, a healthy Y/n walked cautiously through the portrait hole of the Gryffindor common room. A few people saw her and giggled amongst themselves, embarrassment clear on Y/n’s face. A few hours ago she couldn’t keep her eyes off me, and now she couldn’t even bring herself to look in my direction, instead looking at the floor as she walked past the Gryffindors, towards the stair case leading to the dormitories.

“Y/n, hold up,” I say, taking hold of her forearm as we were half way up the staircase. She turned around, taking a moment before gaining the confidence to look up at me.

“Y/n, I know you probably feel like shit, and if there’s anything I can do I’ll do it, but I didn’t slip you that love potion, I wouldn’t do that to you,” I try to explain. I wasn’t trying to defend myself, I just wanted to ease some of the embarrassment that she was feeling. I repeat the story of how it all happened, and I could see her face soften. “I wouldn’t do anything to force you to have feelings for me, I know you don’t feel that way about me,” I say, not meaning to sound as deflated as I felt.

Y/n looked at me, not the same way as this morning, but with a curious look, as if briefly studying me.

“I do like you, George,” she said, smiling at the look of astonishment on my face.

“You… What?” is all I manage to say, causing her to laugh,

“Yeah, I like you a fair bit, maybe not crazy in love like this morning,” she smiles, “but there’s definitely something there. I’ve already made a fool of myself in front of you today, so I might as well admit it all now,” she says with a shrug.

I don’t say anything for a few seconds, because what do you say back to that? The girl who went from head-over-heels in love with me to what I thought would be her despising me, and now meeting in the middle to her fancying me, it’s a lot. So, with no words coming to mind to save me, I kissed her. I wrapped my arm around her, my free hand resting on her jaw, as she kissed me back almost immediately.

We parted, and I couldn’t help but smile. Who knew that Seamus being such a dick could’ve turned out this good?

Alone For The Weekend

Just something I wrote a while ago, thought I’d share it with all of you!!


Harry’s POV


My alarm went off and I realised that it was 7am. Too early to wake up on a Friday. I shut off the annoying alarm and reached over to the other side of the bed, where my wife always slept, but she wasn’t there. I panicked and spoke her name in a worried tone.

“I’m here, Harry.” Her voice came from behind me.

I rolled over onto my other side and saw her standing by the large built-in wardrobe, closing the sliding glass mirror. She was all dressed and her suitcase was up against the wall. It hit me again. My wife was leaving today. She was going to spend three days away from home, in Italy with two of her girlfriends, which left me to look after our two little girls. It wasn’t that I didn’t like spending time with my daughters. I loved it but I had never been left alone with them for longer than 24 hours. This was going to be a new experience for me. (Y/N) saw the look on my face and sat on the edge of the bed, brushing her hand over my bare forearm.

“I’ll be back on Monday morning, babe.”

“It seems like you’re going for longer than that.” I sighed.

“Harry, I’ve coped without you for months at a time, when you went on tour and when you were filming Dunkirk. I’m certain you can last for three days without me.” She said sweetly and leaned down to kiss me. I locked my arm around her neck and pulled her further down, deepening the kiss. My other arm went around her waist and I tugged her onto the bed so that we lay side-by-side. She squealed and I smiled, reconnecting our lips. I was going to be without her kisses for three days. I was going to be without her hugs for three days. The scent of her hair, the fragrance of her skin, making love to her, I wouldn’t have any of it for three whole days. Sure, I had been away from her for months but since finishing Dunkirk and my first solo album, I finally had time for my family and I had gotten used to having my wife around every day. Now, she was the one that was leaving. I didn’t want to let her go but the pressure of her hands on my chest made me release her slightly.

“If you keep kissing me like that, babe, I’ll never leave.” She murmured, burying her face in my neck. I’d love that. But she needed this holiday. The kids exhausted her, I could see it. My girl deserved a bit of fun and relaxation with her girlfriends.

“You have to go. Fae and Lara will kill me if I stop you from going on your little trip.” I said. My wife giggled and looked at me with the big eyes that I had fallen for so deeply very early on.

“Look after the girls for me, Harry.”

“I will, I promise.”

“I should say goodbye to them now. Then I’m going.”

My wife hopped off the bed and picked her handbag off the floor. She pecked my lips one last time and nuzzled her nose against mine.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, (Y/N).” I said, kissing her cheek warmly. She slowly pulled away and in her eyes were the first flood of tears, sparkling brightly. She held them back and took hold of the suitcase handle, opening the bedroom door. My gaze locked to hers for the final time as she blew me a kiss, closing the door, disappearing from the sight.

She was gone.

I lay on my back, in a bed that suddenly seemed too big for just me, the ceiling blank and boring. Because she was gone, everything had been leeched of colour and soul. She lit up this room, this house, this life. My life. I didn’t know how long I stayed in bed for. It must have been at least an hour and I knew that my wife was no longer in the house now, on her way to the airport with Fae and Lara. I dozed in and out of sleep, hardly getting more than 10 minutes because I couldn’t sleep without my girl in my arms. It was a bad sign. How am I going to go to sleep tonight without her? A loud voice cracked me, coming from somewhere down the hall.

“Daddy!”

I rubbed my face with my hands, sighing. It’s started already.

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Ikea: Drarry

(I saw a prompt for this but I can’t remember where.. if anyone does, please let me known and i can give credit! Thank you :))


Cursing and muttering to himself, Draco spun round the next corner; only to let out a groan of frustration as he saw what lay in front of him.

“Homeware? damn it.”

He persevered through the mounds of cushions and carpet fibres until he saw that the next door along held plants, and if he really squinted, he could see that the adjourning one to that was stuffed full of mirrors and lamp shades.

Accepting defeat, he trudged back the way he had come until he reached the bed section. He snorted to himself in a derisive way. Muggle shops. Hmph.
He flopped down on the nearest, comfortable looking bed, and swore loudly as his heart began thudding when the shop monster began shouting threats through the box things again: “could all remaining shoppers please make their way to the exit as soon as possible.”

“Id fucking love to get out of this stupid fucking store but I can’t find your fucking exit can I?”

Draco, unfortunately, had not noticed the frantic tapping of another’s footsteps as he continued his verbal slaughter on the muggle contraption.

“Malfoy?, Draco Malfoy? What the hell are you doing in Ikea?”

Draco spun around, heart sinking as he saw who his saviour was. Harry Potter was stood there in front of him. His thin wire glasses had been switched for some thicker rimmed ones that framed his face much more nicely. Draco couldn’t help notice how much better Potter looked now than his scrawny school days. He felt the familiar curl of wanting as he felt whenever he caught sight of Potter’s face on a magazine cover, or saw that shock of black hair around the ministry. For all he’d tried, he feelings he’d harboured for Potter had never quite vanished.

He was clearly flushed and out of breath from running. Draco decided to pretend he hadn’t heard Potters own question, and posed one of his own instead.

“Potter. What’s been chasing you this time? Another Dark Lord come to take his chances on the boy who lived?”

To his utmost surprise, Potter did not react with anger or frustration and Draco’s blatant dig. Instead he smiled and even laughed a little, before deciding to flop down very ungracefully on the bed next to Draco’s. He adjusted his position so they were facing one another, and then responded: “No no no, I’m not being chased, I was just so fucking scared because I thought I was trapped in here alone all night.”

Draco took a moment to process this, before realising he couldn’t, and blurting out, “you find spending time with me preferable?”

Potter laughed again, much to Draco’s displeasure,

“Of course I do! Why would I want to be by myself when I could be with someone else? Unless you don’t want me to stay? I can go and find someone else, but, well, it just seems a bit silly, because I thought you were also lost? Why else would you still be in here?”

This was more like it, thought Draco, with a smug sense of satisfaction. He could kick Potter out of his zone and let him sleep somewhere else, or he could tell him that he knows where the exit is because he is choosing to sleep for a while, and send Potter plundering off in the wrong direction (because they were all wrong directions) or-“

“Malfoy! Let’s build a fort!” And before Draco knew what was happening, a tanned hand had snaked around his wrist and was tugging him towards to homeware section before he’d even strung together a proper response.

He wrenching his hand back and only briefly regretted it when he saw the kicked puppy look that had appeared on Potters face. He sneered in an attempt to cover his thudding heart and took a step back. “And why, pray tell, would I want to build a fort with you, Potter?”

The dark haired man was just opening his mouth to formulate some sort of response, when a extremely loud and aggressive buzzing began whirring from around the corner. Using his quick thinking methods to save them both, Draco pulled Potter into the nearest cupboard and slammed the doors shut behind them; feeling very pleased with himself.

He marvelled at the space in the cupboard he had chosen. There was enough room for them both to comfortably sit while they waited for the muggle monster to pass by. Draco shook his head wildly and covered Potters mouth with his hands when Potter went to try and open the door: “it might hear you” he mouthed silently and only once Potter nodded in response did he remove his hand. He did approve of the fact Potters wand was drawn. That meant he was doubly protected if anything did try to attack.

They both slunk to the floor, each with a back pressed to opposite sides of the cupboard. Draco winced inside. How had he managed this? Trapped himself in a cupboard with his long unrequited crush and rival for many years. Well done Draco, he thought to himself, congratulations.

The persistent growl from outside the cupboard was still there, but neither of the boys looked willing to risk being mauled in a muggle department store. It was only after a couple of minutes that Draco noticed the shuddering nature of Potter’s breathing, and the way he head fell between his knees. He inched a tiny bit closer to the man and then whispered “Potter? Are you alright?”

There wasn’t any response apart from the slowing of Harry’s breathing and the thumping of both their hearts. Eventually Harry looked up, and smiled at Draco, who decided to ignore the redness around Harry’s eyes for the time being. Harry outstretched a hand and Draco took it, allowing the distance between them to dwindle and drop away.

“We could die here.” announced Harry, quietly. “We could die right here in this cupboard.”

“That’s cheerful” Draco murmured back, relishing and panicking over their close proximity. Wanting to get closer, and put miles of distance between them at the same time.

“I have a confession to make.” Whispered Harry, so close to Draco that he would not have heard if he’d been any further away.

“Go on.” Draco responded, letting his hand fall on the wall beside Harry’s head. Adjusting his knees slightly so he had more leverage.

“I followed you in here today. I was driving past and caught sight of you and I couldn’t help myself. I wanted the chance to talk to you, to ask if..”

“Yes?” Replied Draco, his heart beating so quickly he was surprised the monster outside couldn’t hear it.

“If you might like to have coffee one day..?”

Draco couldn’t hold back any longer. He leant forward and pushed his lips onto Harry’s, pouring years and years of frustration and lust and wanting into the kiss, and Harry reciprocated, leaning up to meet Draco with equal passion and want that made both their heads spin.

Meanwhile, outside the cupboard, one of the cleaners was dancing as she pushed a hoover around the dirty floor; wondering how more people didn’t get lost in IKEA.

Shape of You

Alright so here’s the start of a new AU!

Nesta hasn’t seen her sisters in almost a year. When she’s invited back to their lake house for a long weekend, Feyre insists she brings the boyfriend she’s told her about. The only problem is, he doesn’t exist. 

So out of desperation, her friend sets her up with Cassian. Somehow a weekend filled with fake hand holding and kisses, turns Nesta back into the girl she was before Tomas had destroyed her and the relationship she had with her sisters.



Chapter 1

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck,” I slammed my laptop shut as I threw my pen across the room. Of course my sisters would decide to have a start of summer weekend at the lake. And of course they would call me out for the lies I told them about the boy I met while here in the city.

It had been almost six months since I had last seen my sisters. I moved to the city as soon as I could, as soon as I found a job that would help me pay my half of the rent. I wanted out of that small town, I had to walk away before the memories, the ghosts haunted me forever. The city was my fresh start and even though neither of them understood, they let me go.

Feyre and I talked at least once a month on the phone. She kept asking me how I was doing and she told me that Tomas still asked about me. What she didn’t understand, even though I always changed the subject, was that I didn’t want to know about Tomas. I didn’t want to know about anyone in that small ass town because they were the reason why I left. The only reason I talked to Feyre was to check up on her and Elain.

They were the only family I had left. They were the only ones who mattered.

Sure I missed them. I missed my sisters, but it wasn’t enough to make me go visit home. I wasn’t homesick, I was content here in the city, in this new life I had made for myself. I loved my job at the bookstore. I loved the fact that I could walk everywhere and that things were open well into the night. But most of all I loved the fact that no one knew me. They didn’t know the secrets that had been whispered behind my back. They didn’t know how Tomas had tried to ruin me.

They didn’t know that he had almost won that war.

I read Feyre’s email again. Our lake house, the only thing our father had left to us. The lake house that had sat unused for years until we were old enough to realize the benefits of having that big house that sat right there at the water. The only reason we still owned it was because it was completely paid off. That and somehow Feyre and her fiancee were able to keep up with it.

The lake house where so many things had happened. So many things hadn’t happened too. There had been parties, there had been underage drinking. But mostly there had been tears. From me.

I pushed away those memories and looked at my computer. What was I supposed to do? I had started the lie to make my sister feel better. For her to think I wasn’t all alone out here in the city. Because she didn’t understand that I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want to be with someone who hurt me, who could destroy me. Not after I had been with Tomas for so long.

But I couldn’t tell her that truth. Not when I had fed her enough lies to make this boyfriend seem real. She was happy for me, she didn’t worry about me because she thought I had someone taking care of me. I didn’t need someone to take care of me. Just like I knew Feyre didn’t need her fiancee to take care of her. But it was nice knowing she had someone steady. She had someone real after the horrors that Tamlin had dealt her.

My sisters didn’t know about Tomas. They didn’t really know much about why I wanted to leave. It had been different when our parents died. I could’ve left and they would’ve understood. But I stayed until they were finished high school and then when Feyre announced she was getting married last year I up and left. I didn’t even say goodbye I just left a letter explaining I needed to find my own way now that they were both able to take care of themselves.

I pulled my hair hard, trying to stop the tears from filling my eyes. I didn’t cry, not easily. But I got teary eyed when I was frustrated. I couldn’t tell them the truth. So what was I supposed to do? I squeezed my eyes shut and the door to my apartment opened.

“Fuck me this can’t be happening.”

“Nesta!” I jumped at Rita’s voice, “you seem agitated.”

I met my roommate Rita at the bookstore. She was leaving for another job and I said something about needing a place to stay. We hit it off right away and I didn’t hate living with her. Sure our apartment was small, smaller than the home I had shared with my two sisters. But it was ours, I paid rent and I had my own room. Rita didn’t nag me about my mess and I didn’t nag her about hers.

We were good roommates. We got along and we left each other alone when we knew the other needed space. We were friends, but we were almost roommates. We didn’t get in each other’s business unless there was a reason to. I had gotten lucky.

I groaned, "my sisters want to have a long weekend at the lake.”

“Oh fun!”

“Not when you’ve been lying about having a boyfriend. And they want you to bring him along.”

Rita laughed, “oh shit I forgot. Damn what are you going to do?”

I shook my head, “I’ll think of something.”

I leaned back in my chair and Rita watched me. She raised an eyebrow and smiled, “I might know someone who can help.”

“No. The last guy you introduced me to was disgusting.”

His name was Adam and he was a hipster to end all hipsters. His hair was dirty and his glasses were round. They didn’t even have frames, and he spoke in riddles. I didn’t even spend five minutes in his presence. I found an excuse to leave, I texted Rita and told her to call me, and up and left him high and dry at the coffee shop we met at.

Rita laughed, “I’m sorry okay. I thought you’d get along. But you’ll like this one. Should I have him meet you? Even if he’s not the brightest, he’s easy on the eyes.”

She wiggled her eyebrows at me and I couldn’t help but laugh. I bit my lip, was I that desperate?

“Really? Your advice is that I hire someone to be my boyfriend for the weekend?”

She shrugged as she set her bag on the counter, “it’s either that or tell them the truth, Nes. I’m not sure which is worse since you seem so opposed to letting your sisters believe you have someone in your life.”

I winced. Rita never told me what to do, she never scolded me for lying to my sisters. But I knew she was right. If I was so okay with being alone, and I swore I was, then why did I feel the need to please my little sister? I’m sure there was some therapist who would say I really wasn’t okay being alone and that some part of me wanted someone around.

But I wouldn’t believe them. Because I didn’t need anyone, I only needed myself. But I didn’t want my sisters to worry. I didn’t want them to think I left them because they were a burden. They are my sisters and I will always be there for them. But it’s my turn to have a life. It’s my turn to find where I’m supposed to be.

I looked at Rita, she was texting someone. She sat down on the couch and I looked at the picture of the three of us. The only picture I had on my desk of us when I was five and they were babies. I was always there, always taking care of them. They were my best friends, before that night drove us apart. Before that night pushed me so far away from everyone else that I couldn’t find my way back to them.

I didn’t want them to ask about it. I didn’t want them to think they needed to figure me out. If I had someone with me they would direct the attention to him. They would ask him about his life and how we met and what we did, instead of berating me with questions about why I left.

I let out a slow breath and Rita looked at me. She smiled slightly, like she already knew what I was about to say. My cheeks were red as I let the thoughts settle and I nodded my head slowly.

“Fine,” I gritted my teeth as I looked at the clock, “tell your friend to meet me at Luke’s diner in five minutes.”

“He’s already on his way. Trust me you’ll like him. He’s big and handsome,” her eyes got wide as if she had a crush on him herself, “he’s just your type.”

I rolled my eyes and stood up, “if he’s a hipster I swear to god I’ll kill you.”

Rita’s laugh followed me as I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I walked down the steps, my heart pounding as I opened the door to our building. The sun was warm, the weather had already started to turn to summer. But goosebumps pricked my skin as I thought about hiring someone to lie to my family.

It wasn’t lying. It was pretending. My sister would bring her fiancee, I’m sure Elain had someone. I couldn’t remember if she told me about someone important. His name started with an L? Or maybe it was a C. She didn’t talk much whenever Feyre put her on the phone, but she told me bits and pieces of her life. Elain was the most upset when they found me gone.

I felt guilty every time she called.

But I knew with Feyre came Rhys and with Rhys came his friends. Azriel the quiet one who followed Rhys’s cousin everywhere she went. Feyre told me they were finally opening up to the idea of dating and while I was happy for them all, they were one big happy family, I knew that meant I would be the odd one out. I always was the odd one out, the one who didn’t fit in. The girl who stood alone and never had someone there beside her.

I wanted this weekend, now that I knew about it, to be fun. I wanted them to see me as the Nesta I always was, not the girl I had turned into after that terrible night. The night I was running from. The night I would do anything and everything to forget.

I rubbed my hands up and down my arms as I rounded the corner and the diner came into view. I realized as I walked towards it that I wanted to go home. I wanted to go to the lake and see my sisters and the family they had made for themselves. But I didn’t want to go alone.

Sue me I still had some feelings. I still had some pride I suppose.

I walked into the diner and the bell above the door sounded. Luke, the owner, stood behind the counter and smiled at me. I nodded in greeting, my eyes sweeping the tables. I knew which one was waiting for me as soon as my eyes landed on him. I stood there for a moment too long and contemplated turning around.

He was a big hulking man, his dark hair was long. He looked warm, his skin glowing in the harsh lights of the diner. His black shirt fit perfectly over his arms and his chest. He took up enough space that my eyes couldn’t wander away from them if they tried. My heart stopped, his eyes landing on me before I could make a run for it. Before I could decide this was a terrible choice and I should just tell my sisters the truth.

“Well hello sweetheart,” he stood up and half his mouth tilted in a smile. He could’ve been attractive, if he cut his hair.

I pulled my chair out, “I’m Nesta.”

He licked his lips, “you can call me Cassian,” his eyes sparkled. Like they were hiding something he was dying for me to find out.

“Right well. I take it Rita told you why I’m here.”

He coughed, “something about you being in need of a male escort to the lake this weekend.”

I winced, “a friend,” I tried wondering if I could go through with this, “to make my sisters stop asking me why I don’t have a boyfriend okay? Can you do that? Pretend?”

Amusement filled his eyes. He tried to fight the smile that tugged at his lips, but when it didn’t stop he ran his finger along his chin. He looked down at his hands and I could tell he was thinking about more than just agreeing to helping me. Hell we didn’t know each other, we had just met and I asked him to date me. Even if it was fake, even if he was helping me, this was still weird.

Me and my stupid pride. I was about to take back the offer and tell him to forget it, that I had a mental breakdown and this was all just the biggest embarrassing moment of my life.

But then Cassian nodded slowly, “you know I’m surprise you don’t have a boyfriend. You’re cute and I know a few guys who like bossy.”

I rolled my eyes, “wow that was super helpful,” I glared at him, my hands were shaking. I shoved them under my legs as I waited to hear his answer, “you can just say no. Rita said you were single and I thought maybe you’d want a free trip to the lake for a weekend. I thought maybe…”

I stopped. I almost thought we could be friends. But I bit my lip hard enough to taste blood, stopping myself form wishing for something I could never have. I didn’t let myself get close to people, not after Tomas wedged between me and my sisters. Not since that night when he destroyed all the threads of trust I had ever had.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t help you. I just said I’m surprised you aren’t taken,” he smiled then, he liked watching me squirm. He leaned back and stretched his arms over his head. His shirt rode up slightly and I saw the dark markings of a tattoo that disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans.

“Cassian.”

He wiggled his eyebrows, “well how can I say no when you say my name like that?”

He watched me for a moment as relief flooded through me. As much as I hated this I felt better once he said he would help me. I hated having to lie because everyone thought I couldn’t handle life without Tomas. Except I broke up with him. And I moved here, far away from my family to have the life I wanted.

"What do I get for helping you?” He finally asked, his deep voice smooth as he propped his elbow on the table, then leaned his head on his hand. He kept staring at me and it felt like his honey brown eyes could see into my soul.

I looked down at his hands. His skin was golden, a little darker. He looked like he was carved of stone, like he could’ve been a Greek god in another lifetime. A piece of brown hair fell in his eyes and I wanted to push it back. I let out a breath. I hadn’t thought this far.

“I’ll pay you,” I finally said. I didn’t have a lot but I could do something, “it won’t be much. But you’ll get a four day weekend at the lake house. Meals and showers and everything included.”

Cassian seemed to think it over. He nodded his head, "how much?”

“$100.”

“I know I look cheap, but I won’t act like your boyfriend for a hundred dollars, Nesta.”

“$200?”

He shook his head, “you’ll have to do better than that.”

I blew out a breath, “$500. That’s my final offer.”

He reached across the table and touched my hand. His skin was warm and a spark shot down my arm. He ran his thumb over the back of my hand, “well sweetheart you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart,” I snapped. My eyes narrowed.

He laughed, “well I guess we should make some ground rules.”

“The first one is no pet names. Nesta,“ I pointed at me, "Cassian. Got it?”

He sighed, “sure sweetheart.”

He wasn’t going to make this easy. I could tell as he continued to smile, his eyes lighting up as I glared at him. It was like he thought I was a challenge, like he wanted to defy everything I was saying. He licked his lips, his fingers tapping on the table as I thought through what other boundaries we needed to establish. I didn’t realize this would all happen so fast. The weekend would be here in two days and somehow I had managed to find myself a boyfriend to fill the empty role.

Feyre would love Cassian. He was everything I would never want in a boyfriend. He was the complete opposite of Tomas and I couldn’t stop letting that sway me. He was big and dark, whereas Tomas was small and light. Cassian was full of mystery, but not the kind that Tomas carried with him. Cassian seemed honorable, Tomas had just been pure evil.

I let out a slow breath and pulled my hands off the table so he wouldn’t try to touch me again. I couldn’t stop feeling that spark going down my spine. I couldn’t stop wondering why exactly I had wanted this in the first place. I shook my head and finally brought my eyes back up to his.

“Okay so I’ve got some rules. First we hold hands if someone else is in the room. No touching if we’re alone, because honestly there’s no reason for it. You’re there to make me look good. You can kiss my cheek, but nothing more. We aren’t big on public displays of affection. My sister and her fiancé are, but that’s another story,” I rolled my eyes. Feyre and Rhys could barely keep their hands off each other. I hated being stuck in a room with them.

My cheeks turned pink and my mouth went dry, “we will probably have to share a room, you sleep on the floor. We don’t share the room if the other is changing. Make sure you bring enough clothes to sleep in and a bathing suit.”

Cassian nodded, "fine. But you want this to be believable. So you’re forgetting one thing.”

“What?”

He smiled and it would’ve knocked me to my knees if I wasn’t already sitting. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to make it through the weekend alive. I had a feeling this new friend of mine was going to try and climb the walls I had built this last year. Like he thought he could break down the shell I had surrounded myself inside.

HIs brown eyes danced as he looked at me, his crooked smile in place, ”the story of how we met.“

|| spiderman loves you ||

{summary: what happens when your crush gets a hold of your journal?}

i really wanted to write something cute for peter because wow i still love him a lot.

tags [permanent + peter parker]: @ghostedwolf , @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @animexchocolate , @moonlight53 , @tmrhollandkay , @pepcvina , @nekonerdxox , @lokigirl18 , @fangeekkk , @kylielo22 , @wavy-ley , @lghockey , @buckysendoftheline , @1022bridgetp , @potterjamesharry

warnings: none

**please don’t plagiarize/repost this story. reblogs are fine.**

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