i swear to god this is a pipe

i saw miss peregrine’s home for peculiar children last night, and i. fell. in. love. with. miss. peregrine. like….

what a freakin badass. look at that crossbow. look at that confidence. anddd…

i mean… her hair is like fifteen different colors. it’s amazing. plus……………

every. god. damn. time. she. smoked. that. pipe. i swear ten years were added to my gay little life.

honestly thank god for eva green.

I actually forgot to come up with a title for this one and scheduled it anyway. OOPS.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Word Count: 2,676
Summary: You can sleep through anything, literally anything, except for the banging of your neighbour’s pipes when they decide to shower at three in the morning. You decide to say something, and well, it doesn’t necessarily go as planned.
Warnings: language, alcohol, Steve Rogers in only a towel
Author’s Note: This is based on the prompt: I SWEAR to GOD if I hear you showering at THREE IN THE MORNING again, I will seriously fight you, the pipes in this building are RIGHT above my bedroom, WHY are you taking showers at THREE AM. As always, it’s for @rogersxbarnesx who can see herself dreaming about the Avengers fighting crime in terrycloth.

Originally posted by heartfulloffandoms

You’re usually a heavy sleeper. You’ve slept through thunderstorms, house parties, neighbours yelling at all hours of the night, and even a tornado that one time. You’ve slept through screaming babies on airplanes and your old roommate’s extremely loud sex noises. You pride yourself on being able to sleep through anything, but you can’t sleep through this. You can’t sleep through these fucking pipes.

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anonymous asked:

I swear to god if Alice Cooper does or says anything to Juggie to hurt him or to damage the bughead relationship I'm gonna drop kick her across the freaking country

Girl you better get in line. I’m about ready to wreck Alice cooper, like lady just pipe down. You’re unwanted. The only positive thing I can say is that in the trailer for the next episode she looks like she’s about to choke slam her husband.

dragontatoes  asked:

Though I don't have a photo of it (not sure if this is fortunate or un), we once opened a bag at the goodwill outlet in Milwaukee, OR to find one a dead mouse unceremoniously wrapped in of those wool/satin blankets. I've seen a pair of handcuffs linked to a pipe on a wooden board in the same place. I swear you could find anything from Cleopatra's nipple clamps to a gallon drum of vaseline in that place

Oh my god I have seen the dead mouse things too.  People make amateur taxidermy things out of house mice and it’s seriously creepy.

more jalph aus
  • ralph: “totally saw you spray paint the principals car and you’ll have to buy me dinner to keep me quiet”
  • jack: “I apologize for crashing my car into your fence and part of your garden I’ll put the fence back and help you replant I promise”
  • jack: “I brought my new cat to school hold her please while I kick this guys ass”
  • ralph: “you sit across from me in class and every morning you stare me down whilst eating a banana”
  • jack:  “your first impression of me is ‘that guy who came up to his apartment at 2 am one night drunk and naked’”
  • ralph: “I caught you singing opera music by yourself in full costume”
  • jack:  “you work in the ER and it’s like 2 in the morning but I sleepwalk and I fell down the stairs and broke my leg”
  • ralph: “I swear to god if I hear you showering at THREE IN THE MORNING again, I will seriously fight you, the pipes in this building are RIGHT above my bedroom, WHY are you taking showers at THREE AM”
  • jack: “we’re both sitting in our backyards when I sneeze and you say “bless you” from the other side of the fence and I jump and swear, give me a warning first man”
  • ralph: “you always come into the coffeehouse i work at and you’re a huge jerk so i decide to finally leave a rude message on your cup one day”
The signs as aliens
  • Aries: my antennas are tingling and they're tellin me that u need to pipe the fuck down <3
  • Taurus: MY FELLOW MARTIANS!!! DO NOT LOSE HOPE!!! WE WILL ONE DAY FIND A PLANET THAT MANUFACTURES CHEESE CAKE FLAVOURED DORITOS!!!
  • Gemini: HEATHER DONT HIT THOSE UFO STROBE LIGHTS DONT DO IT HEATHER I SWEAR TO GOD--well. u've done it now heather. now the humans will think we're having a rave on mars gREAT FUCKIN JOB M8
  • Cancer: *meets human and blushes a pukey shade of green* fUCK *retreats into UFO and blows up earth just to be safe*
  • Leo: I PUT THE TEN IN ANTENNA CUZ U KNOW THAT 10/10 WOULD BANG THIS HOT PIECE OF STELLAR MEAT.
  • Virgo: what do you mean we cant eat the potatoes?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THATS NOT A POTATO??? EARTH BABIES ARE UGLY AF EW
  • Libra: *slithers out of old skin* i think i wanna be shakira today
  • Scorpio: WHY DO YOU HUMANS HAVE SO MANY HOLES??? AND WHY R U TELLING ME U WANT TO COME IN PEACE?? NOT TILL THE 10TH DATE HUNNY!!!! #delayedgratification
  • Sagittarius: *is on the phone* nahhh i cant do lunch today, i got an abduction to do and...GURL DONT TELL ANYONE BUT ITS BEYONCÉ IM GONNA ABDUCT QUEEN BEY LIKE WTF...no i haven't heard of blue ivy what the fuck kind of disease is that
  • Capricorn: how the hell did donald trump escape from Planet Doodoohead? ahhh i see his skin is beginning to shed. should reveal the green lizard that lies beneath soon enough :)
  • Aquarius: *is singing non stop* beep beep boop boop im gonna watch ur cute puppies poop *discovers what wifi is* DEVIL DEVIL DEVIL, 666, IM GONNA WATCH SOME NETFLIX
  • Pisces: well heather its not about who probed who first its about wHO DID IT BETTER AYEEEEEE
Flamethrower Fanpoetry Masterpost

Yep I’ve decided that @deadcatwithaflamethrower ( Flamethrower ) gets a dedicated masterpost.

After all I have written poems for:

Qui/Obi across multiple fics (listed in the poem tags)

Pipes Play and Choirs Sing

Legacy

Emerald

Re-Entry (+ Re-Entry Journey of the Whills)

We Exist
Veils and Masks (What Lies Beyond)
A Quiet Love
No Words Needed
Best Kept Secret
Ironwood Blue

Not a Chosen One (submission)
Not a Chosen One (art version)
Kenopsia (submission)

Swung by Serafim

Restorative Draught
Cursed
sense  (art version)
saviour
Change
Masks
Glassine

AU: What even is this (an Ending Scene) (ficlet)

Ashlesha (Awaken the Stars #1) 

Family
July
Fire

Euan Debates His Life Choices (fic)  (AO3)

chlxrokiinetic  asked:

"Why the fuck are there of ya?"

“Hiki-Chii! Thank goodness you’re here! This is absolutely dreadful and I have no idea what to do…”

The very pink and sugary Yukako almost latched on to her fiancée, holding her tightly. She was definitely the more openly vulnerable of the two. Then the other piped up.

“Some fucking grey faced dick came and shot me up with their dumbass magic! I swear to god I will kill every last one of those assholes.”

She clenched her fist and threw an angered punch at the wall, putting a small hole in it.

First small snippet of the story

All you can see from a car window is the world outside, the storm, the rain but never the sun that was a distant thought in the mind of Brandon Tripp as a woman was driving him to his new home “Brandon, you and Emmett will like this new place they seemed enthusiastic to have you.” The woman said with great joy “Emmett being your friend should make this easier!” “Should it?” Brandon replied in an inquisitive yet angry tone, the woman continued “In any event, we’re almost there you’ll like it no matter what.” “It’ll be interesting Trippy!” Emmett piped in hoping that he may calm down but as the car pulled up he decided it wasn’t worth the effort. “And that is the last of their things Miss Vines, I take it you will take care of them?” Miss Vines nodded as the lady got back in her car and drove off “Ali I swear to god if that was an agency car I saw I’ll kill you!” A rather deep voice had proclaimed from inside the doorway “Aaron just go play with Cody and your wards.” A young tall girl with strawberry blonde hair stood in front of the two young boys “Hi Emmett, Brandon I’m Alisha or Ali if you so wish this is your home.” She said whilst gesturing at the building behind her which happened to be a ‘small’ mansion, as Alisha began taking them around the house they were forced to wait in a hallway so Emmett began to speak “Trippy, your hand! Brandon!” As he looked down it was glowing a soft yellow “it’s fine Emmett but you know why we’re here this place is an ‘ultra’ hub” Brandon retorted; before anything else was said a scream erupted from the room Alisha entered. As they slowly walked in, there was a girl crying on the floor being held by a similar looking young boy Alisha’s voice rang out “Aiden let me see her, Aiden she’ll be okay.” “No, please!” Aiden replied with his voice cracking “Get out the way Ali I’m the best with healing ultra!” Another voice spoke as Alisha was pushed aside Brandon and Emmett entered, Emmett fired a beam of light in the room as someone jumped in front of it blocking it with similar looking light but in a shield format “Lay off them Aaron, they’re just scared and you’re draining him” as Alisha finished Emmett collapsed and another shorter boy walked over who started casting something over him he also gave him some tea “Brandon, Emmett these are my friends Kaleb he does healing and a whole other menagerie of things; Aaron is in charge; Erin and Aiden brother and sister then Cody the tea maker!” As their names were called they all nodded and replied.

Originally posted by ofallingstar

2

Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat. Are we that desperate for cannon fodder that they’re clearing out the sick, the lame, the crazy? How the fuck did you find us?
I came up with Delta.
Shit, the fuckin’ reservists, dude?
Brad, you’re not gonna believe it. It has been madness since day one.
What happened to your cushy liaison gig at Al Jabar?
Yeah, rockin’ the fucking side pipe with them air force hotties.
Fuck that, I ain’t had a war since Somalia. I had to get some. But I seriously would not have jumped ship if it meant rolling with Delta. They’re off the hook. Dude, they don’t got any gear or food. They were pulling escort duty just to eat. And then they got to rollin’ into these hamlets and doing these shows of force, you know, cowboy shit for fun. Like this one time, I swear to God, they thought it’d be funny to give these little kids, like, porn mags, like Hustlers and Maxims and shit, show the little Hajis what we’re fighting for. This old Iraqi comes storming out, starts screaming at our interpreter about how we’re fucking up their morals or some dumb shit, right? And he’s super fucking pissed. The old man’s got an RPG. Delta fuckin’ freaks. They lob like twenty-six Mark-19 rounds. They fuck up the whole hamlet.
Bull-fucking-shit.
Ollie North filmed the whole fucking thing.
The Oliver North?
Oliver fuckin’ North was standing there with a camera crew from Fox filming the whole thing like it was the turning point in the fucking war. These Delta fucks are like LAPD cops and DEA agents and fucking Air Marshals. You know what I mean? And they’re led by this Napoleon douche who is like a Corporal or some shit in Albuquerque PD. I swear to God, this motherfucker has got cattle horns on his Humvee.
This is so colossally retarded, I can’t even say anything about it.
Godfather knows. He’s been ducking us on the comms for the past couple weeks.

I SWEAR to GOD if I hear you showering at THREE IN THE MORNING again, I will seriously fight you, the pipes in this building are RIGHT above my bedroom, WHY are you taking showers at THREE AM

Henry took a deep breath in, and then let it out.

Dipper stood in front of him, clad only in a black towel that had little golden embroidered stars on it. His hair, his skin, his wings: all of them dripped rivulets and droplets of water onto the floor, the puddle at Dipper’s feet growing larger and larger. 

“I’m not going to say anything about how you don’t need to take a shower,” Henry finally said, the beginnings of a headache starting behind his eyes. “Showers feel good, especially hot ones, I get that.”

Dipper only stared back at Henry, eyes glowing in the dark of the hallway.

Henry stared at Dipper for another minute longer. The water was beginning to seep into the floorboards, because of course this situation called for water damage on top of the unexpected wake up call.

He crossed his arms and glared at his soon to be brother in law over the tops of his glasses.

“Any particular reason you like to take showers at three in the morning? As opposed to say, the afternoon, at which time the shower would be equally available?”

Dipper grinned, baring rows of fangs at Henry, and then disappeared.

The towel dropped, and even though Henry was still pissed, he had to give Dipper this: at least the towel soaked up all the water he had left behind. 

*making inhuman noises*

So the danganronpa tag is filled with Seiko, and I understand, BUT WHAT ABOUT TENGAN????? WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO LIKE THAT?!? My poor ultimate grandpa he was just telling the truth

i swear to fucking god if you dont get your nasty crusty fucking asshole out of my face right now i will personally shove an entire cactus with poisonous spines down your wind pipe and then forcefully pull it out so your choke on your own blood you ignorant piece of fucking shit youre ruining this family business

A review of this glass of water I am drinking:

Terrible. 
Its so fucking wet, like not just the liquid on the inside.. this glass bastard is sweating all over the table.. its going to make a fucking ring on this table and Im going to get my head slapped in because of it. Why is this glass of water DRIPPING.. I swear I got all the water in the glass yet still it looks like it just lied to a cop. 

Not only is it wet, It tastes like the inside my god damn tap. I realize it passed through the metal pipe skeleton of my house.. but what is the on inside of these taps, an eggy lead based paint? FUCK. 

To top off this whole experience the water wasn’t cold enough so I had to put ice in it.

THE FUCK.

In all actuality this water is ok… I just wanted to post something on the internet.   

6

I forgot I had these here! This is my favorite plant, known as indian pipe. It’s fully parasitic, which accounts for the white color - no chlorophyll necessary! It only grows in damp, dark areas alongside certain combinations of trees and fungi. There is a rare pink-to-red variant of it that I’ve never seen, but I swear to god I’ll find it one day.

Pipe Down!

finish-the-hat-george said: AU prompt? I SWEAR to GOD if I hear you showering at THREE IN THE MORNING again, I will seriously fight you, the pipes in this building are RIGHT above my bedroom, WHY are you taking showers at THREE AM

 Unilock, because I love that trope! Rated T for naughty language because Molly is a potty mouth. Available on ff.net here and AO3 here. No apologies for the punny title; I’d do it all again if I had the chance, officer!

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